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Inspiration

Four Zen Phrases That Hold All of Thich Nhat Hanh's Teaching

Ten Percent Happier
Ten Percent Happier
Oct 7, 2026
8 min read
When Thich Nhat Hanh—known to his students as Thay, the Vietnamese word for teacher—arrived at Deer Park monastery in California, one of his first acts was to walk through the meditation hall and dismiss what he saw. Calligraphies that had hung on the walls for five or six years came down immediately. Brother Phap Dung, one of Thay's senior students, watched as his teacher insisted they be replaced with new ones. "Go do it now," Thay said.

It was a small action with a profound teaching embedded inside: we stop seeing what's always in front of us. Familiarity breeds not contempt, exactly, but invisibility. And a Zen master cannot abide spiritual wallpaper.

This practice of renewal—of keeping the dharma alive and vital rather than letting it calcify into mere decoration—sits at the heart of how Thich Nhat Hanh taught through calligraphy. For decades, he wielded brush and ink to capture the essence of Buddhist practice in memorable phrases, rendered in multiple languages for students across the world. These weren't ornamental. They were spiritual reminders meant to burrow into the mind and surface at exactly the moments you needed them most.

Read · 6 sections

Why We Need to Remember the Same Thing Over and Over

The original Pali word for what we now call "mindfulness"—sati—actually translates more accurately as "remembering." That distinction matters. The human brain, no matter how inspired by a podcast or a book, will forget. Novelty triggers us; we crave what's new. But diligence and discipline, Brother Phap Dung explains, are what keep a teaching fresh. The calligraphies serve that function: they're not decoration but practice support, there to revive what we've allowed to go dormant.

Thay understood this deeply. His talks often returned to the same themes—especially breathing, the breath—and people would sometimes ask why he kept teaching the same thing. The answer was simple: life requires constant renewal. A calligraphy hung in your home or monastery isn't meant to teach you once and then fade into your wallpaper. It's meant to arrest your attention, again and again, until its truth becomes lived rather than merely understood.

This is why Thay would periodically take his own calligraphies down and replace them with new ones. Not because the teaching had changed, but because human perception had. We adapt to beauty. We stop seeing the painting on the wall until a friend visits and gasps. We need the jolt of recognition, the moment when we suddenly see again.

Phrase One: "Breathe, You Are Alive"

The first of the four phrases that Kaira Jewel Lingo and Brother Phap Dung unpacked in their conversation with Dan Harris on the 10% Happier Podcast is perhaps the most direct: Breathe, you are alive.

Breathe is an invitation to attention. Feel your breath. Be aware of it. But the second part—you are alive—carries a weight that's easy to miss in a culture obsessed with productivity and mental states. When we forget that we are alive, Kaira Jewel Lingo explains, we don't use our life wisely. We get caught in stories our minds are telling us. We miss the flow of life happening in our bodies right now.

The phrase is a counter-punch to a particular modern sickness: we move through our days asleep, dead to life. Breath practice awakens us to the fact that we're still here, still alive, still capable of doing something meaningful with this moment. It's an invitation to come back to life—not metaphorically, but literally, somatically, in the felt sense of your own body.

There's a remarkable detail from late in Thay's life that testifies to what a lifetime of breath practice can accomplish. When Thay was in a hospital near the end of his life, medical staff took an oxygen reading: 99%. A lifetime of breath awareness, of returning again and again to the simple fact of breathing, had shaped his physiology. The practice proved itself in the body's own testimony.

Phrase Two: "The Present Moment Is the Only Moment Available to Us"

The second phrase moves from the vertical awareness of breath into the horizontal plane of time itself: The present moment is the only moment available to us.

This sounds simple—obvious, even—but its implications run deep. Brother Phap Dung describes an "airport game" that helps clarify what this teaching means in practice. When you're sitting in an airport, you're theoretically present, but your mind is running ahead to the destination, to what comes next. You're not actually in the airport; you're already somewhere else. The practice is to notice that gap between where your body is and where your attention lives.

Dan Harris admits to wrestling with anxiety in the present moment. It's a common struggle: we believe that by worrying about the future, by mentally rehearsing what might happen, we're somehow preparing ourselves. But Thay's teaching suggests something different. If we truly take care of the present moment, the future takes care of itself. Healing the past, too, happens not through rumination but through the quality of presence we bring to now.

When you ask Thay's students, "But how do you plan for the future, then?" the answer isn't to ignore it. It's to notice when your mind has left the present and to gently bring it back. The plans will still be made. But they'll be made by a mind that's not simultaneously drowning in anxiety.

The teaching has particular resonance because it names something we all experience: the way our minds accelerate, the way time seems to compress. Kaira Jewel Lingo mentions being in her mid-50s and noticing how years seem to collapse into one another. The cure isn't to somehow slow down time externally. It's to actually be in the moments we have. To hang out in the present, as Brother Phap Dung says, rather than constantly straining toward what's next.

Dan Harris observed this teaching in action during a meditation retreat. Around day seven, something shifted. He actually arrived—not in his destination, but in his own life. The metaphor of arrival, of homecoming, runs through all of Thay's deepest teaching.

Phrase Three: "I Have Arrived, I Am Home"

Which brings us to the third phrase, the one Thay said—if he had to condense all of his teaching into a single sentence—would be it: I have arrived, I am home.

This phrase carries the weight of Thay's entire life and teaching. He was a Vietnamese Zen master who lived through war, who became a refugee, who spent decades building a lineage of practice as an act of resistance and healing. The phrase "I have arrived, I am home" is not a luxury; it's a revolution.

To understand its depth, you need to hold two truths at once. First: true pleasure, true rest, comes from being here now, from arriving home to this moment. Not from accumulating goals or achievements or running after some future state where everything will finally be okay. And second: this teaching emerged from someone who had been displaced, who knew what it meant to be a refugee, to literally lose home.

Thay would give walking meditation instructions before practice sessions. He'd put 100% stickers in students' shoes—a practical, playful reminder that this moment, right here in this walk, was the whole thing. Not a preparation for something else. Not a means to an end. But the end itself, the arrival itself.

When Kaira Jewel Lingo reflects on why this phrase carries such power, she speaks to something many spiritual students struggle with: we keep ourselves in a state of perpetual incompleteness, always working toward some future state of enlightenment or peace or self-improvement. The teaching invites a different relationship to now: you have already arrived. Home is not a destination you're walking toward. It's where you are.

The Refugee's Teaching

Understanding the context of Thay's life deepens the teaching immeasurably. He emerged from Vietnam carrying not just philosophical wisdom but embodied trauma—the knowledge of what it meant to be displaced, to lose physical home, to witness violence and persecution. Yet from that crucible came a teaching about arrival, about home, about the completeness available in any moment.

Brother Phap Dung mentions how this teaching resonates with other displaced peoples—with Palestinians, with refugees worldwide. Because when Thay teaches "I have arrived, I am home," he's not speaking from a place of naiveté or privilege. He's speaking from the knowledge that the only home we can never lose is the present moment, the breath, the felt sense of being alive right now.

This is why the teaching matters so much now, in a time of unprecedented displacement, anxiety, and acceleration. Thay's phrases are not theoretical. They're tested, lived, proven in the laboratory of a human life lived with radical honesty and presence.

Where to Go From Here

These four phrases—Breathe, you are alive; The present moment is the only moment available to us; I have arrived, I am home; and the fourth one (which the conversation cut off before fully exploring)—are not meant to be read once and filed away. They're meant to be practiced, to be returned to, to be allowed to reshape your understanding over time. When a teaching becomes invisible to you, when it stops working, you might put up a new calligraphy on your wall. Or you might simply return to the original with fresh eyes. Either way, the practice of remembering—of bringing these phrases back into your attention again and again—is where their power lives.

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Transcript

[0:04] Hey everybody, welcome to the 10%

[0:06] Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris. As many

[0:08] of you know, I am obsessed with

[0:10] Buddhism, aka the Dharma. And uh one of

[0:14] my favorite ways to uh uh practice and

[0:18] learn the dharma is through pathy little

[0:21] catchphrases. These little mantras,

[0:23] these, as I like to call them, Buddhist

[0:25] earworms that weasel their way into your

[0:28] mind stream and then surface uh at

[0:31] exactly the moments when you need them.

[0:33] We've done many episodes on this show

[0:34] where we uh talk to my uh longtime

[0:37] meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein,

[0:39] about the many Buddhist earworms that he

[0:42] has personally uh coined. However, he's

[0:46] not the only meditation maestro who uses

[0:49] uh pathy little phrases. Uh another

[0:51] person who has done so is the legendary

[0:54] Zen master Ticknot Han. uh Tikknathhan

[0:57] uh died uh a few years ago, but he was

[1:00] as I said a Zen master from Vietnam uh

[1:03] the author of many many books and the

[1:05] man who started uh the well-known Plum

[1:07] Village lineage of Buddhist meditators.

[1:11] Uh and today we've got two of

[1:13] Tiknadhan's senior students here to talk

[1:16] about um some of uh their favorite top

[1:19] 10 phrases from Tiknadhan. My guests are

[1:23] uh Brother Fap Young and Kyra Jewel

[1:26] Lingo, both of whom have been on this

[1:28] show uh several times and they're both

[1:30] amazing. Kyra Juul Lingo, Brother Fap

[1:32] Young, welcome to both of you. Welcome

[1:35] back.

[1:35] >> Thank you. Happy to be back.

[1:38] >> Yes, always good to be with you.

[1:40] >> Well, Kyra Juel, let me just start with

[1:41] you. Um, so Tiknadhan, as I understand

[1:45] it, um, coined a lot of these little

[1:48] phrases that are are great ways of of

[1:50] teaching the dharma. Um, and he often

[1:53] did so using calligraphy. So c can you

[1:56] just give us some background on on these

[1:59] phrases and how he came up with them and

[2:00] how he taught with them? So, you know,

[2:03] this is a classic kind of um activity

[2:06] for a Zen master to uh and for, you

[2:10] know, a Zen practitioner uh to um have a

[2:14] brush and to have ink and to have some

[2:17] rice paper and to create um an art form

[2:22] on that paper that supports people in

[2:25] their practice that captures some

[2:27] essence of of the dharma so that it's

[2:31] It's up, it's in your eyesight, and you

[2:33] remember to practice. So, it's really a

[2:36] um a reminder, right, of who we are, of

[2:40] what we are, of why we practice, of how

[2:42] we can be awake in every moment. And so

[2:46] these um calligraphies of Tay really

[2:50] came from his own heart and his own you

[2:53] know seeing of what you know what things

[2:57] people needed to be reminded of. But

[2:59] also they would come you know he would

[3:01] say something in a talk that people

[3:03] would really like and then they would

[3:05] say can you make a calligraphy of that

[3:06] for for us or can you help us you know

[3:10] remember that teaching by putting so he

[3:12] he generated some of the phrases other

[3:15] people kind of said you know we need

[3:17] this as a calligraphy. So it was a very

[3:20] organic and very um communitydriven

[3:24] process. And then then there were all

[3:26] the translations in all the different

[3:28] languages. So he was doing calligraphy

[3:31] in Chinese and in Sino Vietnamese and

[3:34] Vietnamese and English and French and

[3:36] Dutch and German and um Spanish and

[3:39] Portuguese. So wherever people, you

[3:42] know, were that um that were students of

[3:45] his or that practiced in his uh

[3:47] tradition, he would he would make

[3:49] translations as well. Brother Fabyung, I

[3:52] want to say a few words and and see if

[3:53] you agree with me. Um one of the

[3:56] questions I get uh frequently from

[3:59] people who listen to me or subscribe to

[4:01] my stuff is

[4:03] why do I need to hear the same thing

[4:06] over and over again? Um, and I often

[4:09] remind people uh that one of the

[4:11] original translations of the word sati,

[4:14] which we now translate as mindfulness,

[4:16] is remembering. Um, there's just

[4:19] something about the human mind, the

[4:22] human brain, where we can hear

[4:25] something very inspirational on social

[4:27] media, in a podcast, in a book, and then

[4:29] we just forget it. And so remembering

[4:32] seems to me to be the name of the game.

[4:35] Would you agree with that? Yeah, you

[4:37] know that's true about uh remembering

[4:40] recollecting is another uh uh for

[4:42] meditation and uh it's also in uh Zen

[4:46] Buddhism there's also uh uh an emphasis

[4:49] to protect our beginner's mind so

[4:52] refreshing

[4:54] refreshing reviving it's like a human

[4:57] nature to become like uh complacent and

[5:00] like you know one time Tai came to the

[5:02] deer park and we walked around the first

[5:05] day he arrived here from France and he

[5:08] went into the meditation hall the D and

[5:10] then he saw these calligraphies that has

[5:12] been up there for like you know 5 years

[5:14] 6 years and said take those down and

[5:18] replace them with new ones

[5:21] and you know and the dining hall does

[5:24] the same and then you know I'm walking

[5:25] out and he's like go do it now

[5:29] so it's just like you know it's like you

[5:31] have a a sign a calligraphy up but like

[5:34] if it's there and it's always there. You

[5:36] just don't see it anymore. So, not only

[5:39] with our practice and so on, but

[5:42] particularly with his calligraphies or

[5:44] any practice, it becomes kind of like uh

[5:48] I don't know like n uh I don't know how

[5:51] what else to say but that I I

[5:53] experienced that. So the the

[5:56] calligraphies help us remind us and his

[5:59] domat talks he's constantly talking

[6:01] about breathing the breath and it's like

[6:03] almost like the same talk every time and

[6:06] people always say oh why does he keep

[6:08] teaching that it's because we hear it we

[6:12] love novelty it's like oh something new

[6:14] and it triggers us but actually the

[6:17] diligence and discipline is actually

[6:19] keeping it fresh and revived and new. So

[6:24] sometime meditation you go to sitting

[6:26] and you know it it just just no there's

[6:29] no life to it no life energy. So so our

[6:32] practice with these calligraphies when

[6:34] we see it is to remind us and come back

[6:37] to our breath and then uh enliven it

[6:40] again what it meant for you or what that

[6:43] teaching is. So, and that's personal,

[6:47] you know, you you don't know who was

[6:48] doing it or not. You need to know if

[6:51] it's like no longer working.

[6:54] Nobody can tell you. No, no teacher can

[6:56] tell you. And so, you have to uh have

[6:59] that motivation to know when there's no

[7:02] life in it. There's no substance. You

[7:04] just it's form. And that's, you know,

[7:08] that's usually the the weakness of

[7:10] humans. We we love the form but like

[7:12] it's the really essence.

[7:16] So the calligraphies kind of help with

[7:18] that but you know once in a while you

[7:20] got to change it because it becomes like

[7:22] your calendar. You don't see it anymore

[7:24] or like your favorite picture until a

[7:27] friend comes by. It's like oh my god

[7:28] look at that beautiful calligraphy or

[7:31] that painting in your wall. And then

[7:33] you're like oh yeah I didn't realize

[7:35] that until you remind me again.

[7:39] So anyway, it's not just calligraphy,

[7:40] it's just everything, you know, uh in

[7:43] our lives, right? So I hope that helped.

[7:47] >> It does help. It does help. One note to

[7:50] listeners and viewers, you will hear uh

[7:53] and Kyra Juul uh uh uttered the the word

[7:56] earlier and you will hear sometimes

[7:58] brother Fapyong and Kyra Lingo referring

[8:00] to their teacher Tiknanhan as Tay. Tay,

[8:04] I believe, is Vietnamese for teacher.

[8:06] Um, so don't be confused if you hear

[8:08] that word. Well, uh, the two of you have

[8:10] very kindly put together a top 10 list

[8:12] of your favorite of technan or tay's uh,

[8:15] phrases. Kyra Juul, I'm going to start

[8:17] uh, with you, but um, of course, Brother

[8:19] Faby Young, uh, please jump in. Um, and

[8:23] vice versa. Um, but here's phrase number

[8:26] one. Um, breathe,

[8:30] you are alive. Why does that resonate

[8:32] with you? such a central teaching of our

[8:35] teachers and of course of the Buddha. So

[8:40] breathe is first of all just remember

[8:42] that you are breathing and feel your

[8:46] breath. Be aware of your breathing and

[8:50] then breathe. You are alive

[8:53] is a reminder

[8:55] to feel this you know flow of life

[9:00] happening in us which if we if we

[9:03] actually feel our breathing we can begin

[9:06] to feel this sense of aliveness in our

[9:09] bodies. It's a very powerful feeling um

[9:14] that um we can forget and lose sight of

[9:18] and and we think we're just everything

[9:20] that our mind is telling us. And we can

[9:24] forget that we are alive, that we still

[9:27] have life. And so

[9:31] um when we forget that we are alive, we

[9:34] don't use our life very wisely. And so

[9:36] breathe you are alive is a invitation to

[9:40] come back to life

[9:42] to be fully alive to realize that we

[9:46] still have this moment and we can do

[9:49] something with it. We can be in in this

[9:51] moment in a way that um is beneficial

[9:55] for us and for others rather than be

[9:59] asleep be um dead to life. Right? life

[10:04] is offering us so many gifts all the

[10:07] time. Um the fact that we you know can

[10:11] perceive things can that we whatever

[10:13] senses we have you know those are gifts

[10:17] to be able to um you know feel the sun

[10:20] or or hear the rain or you know pet an

[10:24] animal or whatever it is. Um and and if

[10:29] we're if we're not alive, if we're not

[10:32] aware that we're alive, then all of

[10:34] those gifts um you know, don't get

[10:38] opened, we don't get to um enjoy them,

[10:41] appreciate them. And I don't know about

[10:43] you all, but as I am now in my 50s,

[10:47] I really feel like I'm on the downward

[10:49] slope

[10:51] and time seems to be going much faster.

[10:54] And I think a lot about how I don't have

[10:56] much time like like the way I saw time

[10:59] as a young person. It's really changing

[11:01] and I'm really seeing my life and like

[11:04] how do I want to use this time like it's

[11:06] it's really limited like the expiration

[11:09] date is coming closer and closer every

[11:11] day. I mean and we never know, right? It

[11:14] could be today. We just there's no

[11:16] guarantees. This life is is so precious

[11:19] and you know people can just exit so

[11:23] quickly in such kind of surprising ways.

[11:26] You know a friend of ours fell down the

[11:29] stairs and

[11:31] had a very serious head injury and she

[11:34] may never recover from it just from

[11:36] falling down the stairs. And that can

[11:39] happen to any of us. I'm not not trying

[11:40] to, you know, scare anybody but just

[11:43] this is reality. our days here are very,

[11:47] you know, numbered and our lives are

[11:50] super fragile. However much we try to

[11:54] convince ourselves that we're

[11:55] invincible.

[11:57] And so, yeah, this calligraphy is like,

[12:00] you know, live life to the fullest while

[12:01] you can. Celebrate the people in your

[12:03] life now. Love them as much as you can.

[12:07] Love yourself. Get to know yourself.

[12:09] Cultivate your mind and heart. And and

[12:12] don't wait. that point you made about um

[12:15] time accelerating. I am in my mid-50s

[12:17] and I feel that I don't know who said

[12:19] it. There was a a female writer who said

[12:22] something I believe in her 80s that uh

[12:25] to the effect of when you reach my age

[12:28] it feels like breakfast arrives every 15

[12:31] minutes.

[12:38] >> It does.

[12:39] >> It's really true.

[12:41] I hear it all the time, Dan. I know I

[12:44] should meditate, but I'm too busy. And I

[12:47] get it. Many of us feel time starved,

[12:49] which is why over on my meditation app,

[12:51] 10% with Dan Harris, we now have a whole

[12:54] batch of super short meditations. I'm

[12:56] talking 3 to 5 minutes. These new

[12:58] meditations are from this amazing

[13:01] teacher, Devon Haza, who you may have

[13:03] heard of. She wrote a great book called

[13:04] How to Not Be a Hot Mess. These

[13:07] meditations are on self-compassion, on

[13:09] learning to pause, on getting back in

[13:10] touch with your body. These are things

[13:12] you can do right in the little cracks in

[13:14] your day so you get a little dose of

[13:16] mindfulness and then you can keep it

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[14:58] You know, I I get this exhortation and I

[15:01] resonate deeply with this exhortation to

[15:03] be alive while you're alive. You know,

[15:05] in other words, stop sleepwalking. I I

[15:08] don't want to overlook the fact though

[15:10] that um waking up is not all rainbow

[15:15] barfing unicorns. Like we being awake

[15:18] also means you're going to experience

[15:21] the sadness of a friend falling down and

[15:24] um perhaps damaging his or her brain.

[15:28] You're going to experience the pain of

[15:30] illness. You're going to experience

[15:32] um all sorts of physical discomfort and

[15:34] on and on.

[15:36] >> Yeah, that is a uh you know as a young

[15:38] person first coming across Thai and the

[15:41] a retreat and then hearing this it's

[15:44] like you know what's the big deal? But

[15:46] it it actually woke me up to to realize

[15:49] some of the things that we chase for and

[15:51] consider our happiness. I grew up in Los

[15:54] Angeles and a culture that is like

[15:56] always trying to achieve you know as an

[15:59] architect there's very uh uh there's a

[16:01] lot of things goals that I want and so I

[16:04] think this when I first came across

[16:06] across this I first did not like it but

[16:10] then I realized the powerful truth of it

[16:13] that actually you know being alive and

[16:16] that just that simple uh awareness like

[16:20] it it woke me up and It's because there

[16:23] was also a shadow side to this phrase

[16:26] breathe you alive meaning you know you

[16:29] are going to die and there's so that

[16:33] combination of awareness that life is so

[16:36] precious and why are you running after

[16:38] these things that so it is a training to

[16:42] actually come back to these things that

[16:44] are right in front of your face that you

[16:46] have good lungs your eyes are in good

[16:49] condition as a young person coming

[16:51] across this and cultivating this

[16:54] awareness of these simple and I remember

[16:57] visualizing sometime and seeing myself

[17:00] in the hospital bed with tubes in my

[17:02] nose cuz I've seen this with my dad with

[17:05] sick people that we visit in the

[17:07] hospital. So I know that breathing for

[17:10] them is so precious. So it is an

[17:13] exercise. It is a training to actually

[17:16] feel this truth rather than just say oh

[17:19] I agree I don't agree. The breathe you

[17:22] alive is a a reminder for us to

[17:25] cultivate that. It's like that simple

[17:27] awareness like right now you are alive

[17:31] eventually you will be in the hospital

[17:34] just like your loved ones are your

[17:36] friends and so on. And breathing will be

[17:39] like it it would be so precious that you

[17:42] can take a breath on your own and so on.

[17:45] And this for me like it's so tight our

[17:49] teacher you know and they measured his

[17:51] breath while he was sick in the hospital

[17:54] and with this finger thing and it was

[17:56] like the the oxygen uh so he's been

[17:59] training his whole life breathing

[18:01] deeply. It was almost 99%. and they

[18:05] measured ours all the attendance and

[18:07] we're like in our like low 90s and 80s

[18:10] and here's a you know our teacher is

[18:12] sick in the bed and it's like almost

[18:15] 100%. So it's a very interesting uh and

[18:18] I I keep that in mind now to actually

[18:21] breathe deeply and I think you know I

[18:24] think physiology has shown that we you

[18:27] you know the breathing helps the

[18:29] aliveness in your you know your brain

[18:32] your life and so on your positivity as

[18:35] well. So, it's not like a just a a

[18:38] philosophical or religious thing, but

[18:40] it's it's it's that, you know, breath,

[18:42] spirit, they're all related. Breathe,

[18:45] you're alive. It's uh pretty basic, but

[18:48] also massively important and uh worth

[18:52] being reminded of uh quite frequently.

[18:54] Okay, so that's uh that's phrase number

[18:57] one in this top 10 list. Uh let's move

[18:59] to phrase number two. Brother Fapyang,

[19:00] I'm going to stay with you for this one.

[19:02] Uh and here's the phrase, the present

[19:04] moment is the only moment available to

[19:08] us. Please say more.

[19:09] >> You know, our whole practice is to to

[19:11] stay in the present moment because I

[19:13] think our coaching, my education

[19:16] is so uh has trained us to always try to

[19:19] like run after the future. So this is a

[19:23] a kind of sickness of our our culture

[19:26] and our education running um and

[19:30] thinking that our happiness is in the

[19:32] future. So the present moment is really

[19:34] precious and here the present moment

[19:37] includes also uh the past and the

[19:41] future. How you take care of healing of

[19:44] your past as well as your purpose is how

[19:47] you take care of your present moment.

[19:49] And this is so beautiful and I've seen

[19:52] and I've experienced this myself

[19:54] practicing cuz we're so worried about

[19:56] what the future is and then some of us

[19:59] still carry the past and it's heavy but

[20:02] I feel like if we take care of the

[20:04] present moment like uh like whatever you

[20:06] need to do and you you're fully present

[20:10] insight comes about my past and so I've

[20:14] had realizations and changed my past or

[20:18] changed the way I look at my past by

[20:21] being fully in the present moment. It

[20:23] includes the three times the future, the

[20:26] past and the present. So for me that is

[20:29] a a kind of way of dealing and and fully

[20:35] kind of in the present moment you can uh

[20:38] actually find new futures because for

[20:42] instance like what I used to think it

[20:44] was the direction of my life running to

[20:46] be a famous architect

[20:49] by taking care of the and you know and I

[20:50] sacrificed a lot of myself and my heart

[20:54] my my my my caring my my you know

[20:58] communal energy that these things I

[21:00] sacrificed because it was competitive

[21:03] and I wanted something in the future and

[21:06] the practice helped me to come back to

[21:08] the present moment and take care of

[21:10] myself and these kind of simple act

[21:13] redirected my aim towards my future I

[21:16] don't know so in a way when you take

[21:18] care of the present moment it changes

[21:20] the future your aspiration what you want

[21:24] and it clarifies and it tones phones in

[21:26] and it makes the happiness not in

[21:29] achieving it but as a direction in the

[21:33] present moment. Uh so this is my

[21:35] experience how this teaching of taking

[21:38] care of the po present moment has helped

[21:41] me heal my past. So I don't change the

[21:44] past but I change the way I look at my

[21:46] what happened to me during the war with

[21:48] my family, what happened to me in my

[21:51] relationship to my dad. So the way I

[21:54] look at it changes. So in a way changing

[21:57] the past because it's uh it's now

[22:00] healing and it's more accepting of my

[22:02] father, accepting of the trauma of being

[22:05] refugee and being discriminated and so

[22:08] now I don't blame it's just you know it

[22:10] it it's just I used to be very uh angry

[22:13] at those things that happened and now I

[22:16] I see that oh those conditions actually

[22:18] make who I am now in the present moment

[22:21] and I cherish that. So for me that's uh

[22:23] that that's what the phrase uh uh uh

[22:25] teaches me and what has helped me uh uh

[22:28] kind of redirect a little bit and say

[22:31] you know I'm not running anymore and I

[22:34] also know that there's stuff in the past

[22:36] with me for me to heal. So this is uh in

[22:39] the present moment. So it's kind of like

[22:41] an anchor and you know when you you've

[22:44] lost it is when you're like carried away

[22:46] and you're you know trying to achieve

[22:48] and you sacrifice the present.

[22:51] So that's what uh you know that phrase

[22:53] present moment is the only moment

[22:57] is written that theme many many

[23:00] different ways present moment wonderful

[23:02] moment present moment this is the only

[23:05] moment so t is you know many versions of

[23:09] that

[23:09] >> it's funny for me when we uh we talk

[23:12] about the present moment because it is

[23:13] like the the spiritual cliche therefore

[23:18] when you hear you know exhortations to

[23:21] be in the moment, it's easy to kind of

[23:23] ignore them. Um, and I've been thinking

[23:26] about this a lot recently because I've

[23:27] been experiencing um a very

[23:30] uncomfortable uptick in anxiety

[23:32] personally. And what is anxiety if not,

[23:35] you know, uh uh uh pulling you into

[23:38] fretful projections about the future?

[23:41] And

[23:44] I find that just remembering to wake up,

[23:47] be with my life as it is right now, uh

[23:51] coexist with the discomfort of anxiety,

[23:54] the physical sensations that that have

[23:56] come along with it, but but can be

[23:58] experienced in the present moment. I

[24:01] find that this this idea that's often

[24:05] rendered as a cliche can be very

[24:07] powerful as

[24:10] um a way to make life better even in

[24:13] difficult times. So I say all that um

[24:17] Kyra Juel just to get your thoughts on

[24:19] anything brother Faby Young said or

[24:21] anything I just said or just on the

[24:23] phrase generally. You know, I think when

[24:25] when things are difficult,

[24:28] um it can be hard to remember

[24:32] that there are useful things in this

[24:36] moment when it's when it's hard, when we

[24:39] feel anxiety, when we feel um stress.

[24:44] And it's uh it's wonderful to hear, you

[24:46] know, your practice of of yeah, sort of

[24:50] turning toward that. Um,

[24:54] and I I would really say that, you know,

[24:57] we can only do that in the present

[24:59] moment. Like we can't take care of

[25:01] ourselves outside of the present moment.

[25:04] Um,

[25:05] when whether it's, you know, beauty and

[25:08] joy that's arising, whether it's pain or

[25:12] um, you know, suffering that's arising,

[25:15] um, the present moment is the only

[25:18] moment where we can handle that, right?

[25:20] We can try to get out of it. Out of that

[25:24] escaping to the past, escaping to the

[25:26] future,

[25:28] drowning ourselves in the present with,

[25:30] you know, with some kind of, you know,

[25:33] distraction.

[25:35] But um but the only place we can meet

[25:39] ourselves and really take care of

[25:41] ourselves and really be free from these

[25:43] things that um haunt us or are so hard

[25:47] to to experience. That is another way to

[25:50] say the present moment is the only

[25:52] moment. That it's only by you know

[25:54] stopping and turning towards what's so

[25:58] challenging that we can become free of

[26:01] it if we try to get away from it. We

[26:04] might do that temporarily but it will

[26:06] often just make that experience

[26:09] um you know more intense harder in the

[26:12] end. So it's like you know the present

[26:15] moment is the only moment is like how

[26:17] can we make peace with whatever is

[26:19] happening because if we can do that a

[26:24] whole range of experience will open up

[26:27] for us where we where we only see two

[26:29] dimensions. If we can really turn

[26:31] towards this moment in all of its

[26:35] horror, in all of its, you know,

[26:39] surprise, whatever,

[26:42] the three, four, five dimensionality

[26:44] will will manifest to us and we can see

[26:48] it. Um,

[26:50] we can experience it in a different way.

[26:52] Um, I just had an experience this past

[26:55] weekend where I just was, you know, I'm

[26:58] I'm a pretty uh,

[27:01] I don't know, upbeat person. I don't

[27:03] have a lot of down moods, but I did I I

[27:07] just couldn't shake it. This one morning

[27:10] I, you know, some different things had

[27:11] happened and I was just kind of feeling

[27:14] low and I turned to my partner and I'm

[27:16] like, I'm just in this place. He just

[27:18] good. Let's talk about it. Just be in

[27:20] it. don't you know like there's nothing

[27:23] wrong with this you know it was such a

[27:25] helpful reflection cuz in my mind I'm

[27:28] like what's wrong I'm not usually I

[27:30] don't usually feel this way where I feel

[27:32] kind of like I just can't um you know

[27:36] move through something difficult and we

[27:38] just talked about it and we talked about

[27:40] whatever the things it might be that was

[27:42] coming up and you know the conditions

[27:46] were right we had the space we had the

[27:48] time we you

[27:50] And just just doing that it it passed,

[27:54] you know, it like I gave it space. I

[27:56] gave it time. I I honored that and I

[27:59] explored it. I was curious about it and

[28:02] and something shifted in doing that. So

[28:05] there's so many unexpected and hidden

[28:07] gifts in these difficult times that if

[28:10] if we can hang out in the present

[28:13] moment. Um

[28:16] you know it it gives them a chance to

[28:18] show us their other sides.

[28:20] >> It's so interesting because I'm I don't

[28:24] have as much meditation experience as

[28:26] either of you, but I've got, you know,

[28:28] some. And and yet when I'm in a moment

[28:31] of depression or anxiety, the last thing

[28:35] I want to do is feel it. Like I want to

[28:38] check my phone, eat something,

[28:41] uh distract myself in some way, go chase

[28:44] one of our cats, whatever. Anything that

[28:47] to not feel the thing. And yet feeling

[28:51] the thing is the way out. It's the way

[28:54] to suffer less. just express our whole

[28:58] culture.

[29:01] We just distract ourselves with

[29:03] consumption so we don't have to deal

[29:05] with the present moment. Yeah. It's uh

[29:07] it's actually the great medicine for our

[29:10] times considering the digitizing of all

[29:13] our lives

[29:15] where we're easily doing something else

[29:17] rather than being in the present moment.

[29:20] I mean I see it so often at the airport.

[29:22] I love to play this game to go there to

[29:24] see it's someone is really at the

[29:26] airport and present.

[29:29] It's very hard. It's like rare species

[29:31] to have someone sit there and just like

[29:34] not doing something to catch up or like

[29:37] whatever work or so I go to the airport

[29:39] and I sit there and I play this game.

[29:42] That's how I stay in the present moment

[29:44] because it's so easy to catch up on my

[29:47] email, get out of my laptop or read a

[29:49] book or but it's just like you know I I

[29:53] so anyway it's my medicine to actually

[29:55] go to the airport and I have like a

[29:57] 2hour window and I'm sitting there and I

[30:01] have this itch to catch up to do email

[30:04] to like catch up on the news or do

[30:06] something and I was like okay because I

[30:09] remember when I did that I was reading a

[30:11] book and Tai came over and he like with

[30:14] his two finger closed the book and say

[30:17] go and join your brothers and sister and

[30:20] they're all on the ground sitting having

[30:22] tea and I was like no but this like in

[30:25] my mind I was like this book is so good

[30:27] t and I closed it with his two finger

[30:30] but the way he did it it never left me

[30:33] so now when I'm at the airport I'm so

[30:36] like aware that my teacher is going to

[30:38] close the book on me

[30:41] because You know, we're so easily

[30:43] tempted to be doing something else and

[30:46] it might be even the best thing which is

[30:48] like, "Oh, I'm going to catch up on

[30:49] this. I got to write this email from

[30:51] someone." Anyway, that is the culture at

[30:53] the airport. I don't know if you know

[30:54] this, but like it's

[30:56] >> I have I have I've I was I've been at

[30:59] the airport a lot recently because I've

[31:00] been flying a lot and uh the next time

[31:04] I'm at the airport, I'm going to take

[31:05] this on as a practice of

[31:08] I don't I hope it doesn't make me

[31:10] somewhere though.

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[31:26] even worse. I think a lot of people put

[31:28] them off way longer than they should

[31:30] because it just feels like a whole

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[32:39] I just want to add one other piece to

[32:41] this because I I remember I asked Tai

[32:44] this question when I first the first

[32:46] summer I spent at Plum Village. I was

[32:48] like, "But how do you plan for the

[32:50] future? I understand being in the

[32:51] present moment, but how we all have to

[32:54] plan for the future." And so I remember

[32:56] I wrote a note to him. And I get this

[32:59] question so often from people that I

[33:01] just wanted to share, you know, his

[33:03] response which which has really held

[33:05] true for me. all this time was he was

[33:07] like it's very possible to plan for the

[33:10] future while being in the present. You

[33:13] don't have to sacrifice the the the

[33:15] present in order to plan for the future.

[33:17] You can know I'm planning for the future

[33:20] right now. And you can still feel your

[33:22] body. You can still feel your breathing.

[33:24] You can still, you know, you know, if

[33:27] you start to plan and you start to feel

[33:29] anxious, that's what happens to me. I

[33:31] look at my calendar. I'm like, "Oh my

[33:32] gosh, but this is happening, but I have

[33:34] to do that. Oh, I I didn't realize I

[33:36] double booked or whatever and then you

[33:38] get anxious. Being part of right being

[33:41] in the present moment as the only moment

[33:43] is knowing that's happening coming back

[33:47] feeling the body. Okay, I can handle

[33:50] this. This is going to be okay. I might

[33:52] need to write an apology to someone or

[33:53] whatever. But so you can be uh taking

[33:58] care of the future even as you are

[34:01] grounded in the present and you notice

[34:03] what's happening to your mind as you

[34:05] start to plan and you you support

[34:08] yourself to do it.

[34:10] >> Yeah, I love that. I love that. Car

[34:13] Joel, let me stay with you because I

[34:14] want to move on to the third phrase. And

[34:16] I'm just going to say right now, we're

[34:18] not getting through top 10 phrase. We're

[34:20] just not this. We're just two. We're

[34:22] three chatter boxes and it's just not

[34:23] going to happen. So, we'll get through

[34:25] as many as we get through.

[34:28] >> Yes.

[34:29] >> The conceit of the top 10 list has now

[34:32] officially been abandoned. Um and uh

[34:35] let's just enjoy the freedom of that. Um

[34:38] okay. So, the third phrase is um uh I

[34:42] have arrived. I am home. So, Kyra Joel,

[34:47] what does this mean to you? You know,

[34:48] Tai has said if if if he were to

[34:52] condense all of his teachings or

[34:54] summarize all of his teachings of, you

[34:57] know, 80 years because he became a monk

[34:59] at 16 or, you know, almost that that

[35:02] many decades.

[35:05] It would be this one sentence. I have

[35:07] arrived. I am home. And for me, it

[35:09] really means there's nowhere else that

[35:12] we need to be. This is it. like we are

[35:16] um wherever we are in in the here in the

[35:19] now we can call it our home. We can come

[35:24] home to ourselves. we can arrive fully

[35:28] in this moment. And you know, sometimes

[35:31] I think about it as like calling back

[35:33] all the various parts of myselves cuz

[35:35] sometimes we can, you know, one part of

[35:37] ourselves is over there thinking about

[35:39] that or holding that concern, one part

[35:41] of ourselves is over there in the past

[35:43] or future or worrying about that

[35:46] situation or thinking about that person.

[35:48] But so I have arrived is like calling

[35:50] all of them back to just be right here,

[35:54] you know, and

[35:56] and then when when we have fully arrived

[36:01] like then we can actually

[36:04] engage with something or someone, right?

[36:06] Like I'll I mentor people and sometimes

[36:10] we get on Zoom and they're like, "Oh, I

[36:12] just came from a meeting or I just did."

[36:14] I'm like, okay, let's take a few minutes

[36:16] in silence before we start our session.

[36:19] And invariably when we do that, after

[36:21] even just 2 minutes, 3 minutes, they're

[36:23] like, oh, I needed that. Right? So, it's

[36:26] this acknowledgment that we sometimes

[36:28] can be very dispersed. And so, I have

[36:31] arrived is calling ourselves back to

[36:34] this moment. And Tai would often say um

[36:37] the address of our um true home is the

[36:41] here and the now. That is the address.

[36:44] That's where we know we can find

[36:46] ourselves. If we put the GPS to help us

[36:49] figure it out, it's here and now. Like

[36:53] no other place, no other time. So I come

[36:57] back and I touch that I actually have

[37:00] everything I need right in this moment.

[37:03] I can be at peace with things just as

[37:05] they are. Realizing I can take a breath.

[37:09] I can take a step. I can um feel my

[37:13] body. I can notice what's happening in

[37:16] my mind and I can be 100% here. You

[37:21] know, Tay would often tell us he often

[37:24] taught this teaching when we were about

[37:26] to do walking meditation cuz so often

[37:28] when we walk, we walk in order to get

[37:31] somewhere. We don't walk

[37:34] um just to be in each step.

[37:38] And so he would invite us to practice

[37:40] this as we would walk that we would

[37:42] breathe in and take one step and say I

[37:45] have arrived,

[37:46] breathe out, take a step and say I am

[37:49] home and really come home. I remember he

[37:52] put stickers in our shoes. He gave us

[37:55] stickers once to put in our shoes that

[37:57] said 100%.

[37:59] So that when we put our shoes on after

[38:01] we come out of the meditation hall, we

[38:04] we say I'm going to walk with 100% of my

[38:08] being, of my attention.

[38:10] And that's part of I am home, right? I

[38:15] have arrived in every step. It's I'm

[38:17] 100% here. I'm not dispersed. I'm not,

[38:22] you know, and it's okay, too, if we're

[38:25] 20% here. we realize, okay, I'm only 20%

[38:28] here. And so we walk a few more steps,

[38:30] maybe we're 30% here. And then we slowly

[38:33] slowly over time, we become more and

[38:36] more and more percent of ourselves is

[38:39] really at home. And when we get that

[38:41] feeling of being arrived, being at home,

[38:45] there's nothing like it,

[38:47] you know, nothing compares to that

[38:49] feeling. Um, no ice cream or whatever

[38:54] else we think is so pleasurable or so,

[38:58] you know, we got to have it. Nothing is

[39:00] as good as feeling like we are home

[39:03] right here, right now, that we don't

[39:06] need anything else. We don't need to

[39:08] become anything else. We don't need to

[39:10] have anything more in our bank account.

[39:12] We don't need to, you know, have um this

[39:16] or that status symbol. We we really are

[39:19] um perfectly content to be just as we

[39:23] are.

[39:24] >> As I'm listening to you speak, I'm I'm

[39:26] I'm having a memory of many years ago. I

[39:29] went on a meditation retreat and I did a

[39:32] very dumb thing, which is um I let a

[39:34] camera crew come with me. Um cuz we were

[39:38] filming it for content uh for uh my

[39:41] meditation app, which is like typical

[39:44] move of like double dipping always, you

[39:47] know, being maximally productive. Not

[39:49] I'm going to do a retreat, but it's

[39:50] going to it's going to be content. And

[39:53] uh the first couple of days, the

[39:54] cameraman was really bothering me. And

[39:56] plus, the first few days of a retreat

[39:57] are horrible anyway. Um, but by day

[40:01] seven or eight of this nine-day thing, I

[40:04] really did arrive. And there's I saw a

[40:08] video the other day cuz we're finally

[40:10] starting to use the video from it where

[40:12] I'm just standing outside kind of gazing

[40:15] up, eyes closed, but like my head kind

[40:18] of slightly tilted upward with this rays

[40:21] of sun hitting my face and I look so

[40:23] stupid. But I am really happy. Like I am

[40:27] truly at home in the universe, as

[40:30] cliched as that sounds. And you're

[40:33] right. Like I my lizard brain is telling

[40:35] me that true pleasure will come from

[40:39] finishing that next thing on my to-do

[40:41] list, going to a meal, watching a movie,

[40:44] whatever it is, like the next party I've

[40:46] got going uh going on or that's on my

[40:49] calendar. But actually, the deepest

[40:52] happiness I've ever experienced is when

[40:54] all of that falls away and I'm just

[40:57] right here. It's so embarrassing that

[40:59] the truest things in the world are also

[41:02] annoying cliches

[41:06] and so hard. I just want to acknowledge

[41:08] it. It's so I can say this and I know it

[41:11] and yet so often I will choose the movie

[41:16] or you know getting one more thing done

[41:19] when I could do do the you know I mean

[41:23] thing is is that it it it can it can

[41:26] take a while to get there and that's

[41:29] where it's hard to sometimes put in the

[41:32] the time.

[41:34] >> That's kind of like why these

[41:35] calligraphies are are

[41:37] Yeah, they're like so essence, so

[41:40] simple,

[41:42] but like so hard as well. And that's

[41:44] basically what makes a good calligraphy

[41:46] or what makes a good like condensed

[41:50] teaching of that teacher cuz it's like

[41:54] it's so easy and you're like, "Oh, come.

[41:56] Oh, yeah. I get it."

[41:58] But it's so powerful. And so this this

[42:01] this uh phrase I'm a home, it's my

[42:04] anchor.

[42:05] So it's always been my anchor and it

[42:08] ever since I became you know into this

[42:10] practice and tradition it's like anytime

[42:12] I feel flustered it is what I come back

[42:15] to and it's saved me so many times and I

[42:19] swear it works all the time and you just

[42:21] stick with it for like whatever however

[42:23] many minutes and you just feel like ah

[42:25] you have such a much more space but that

[42:29] I wanted to share with you like I've on

[42:32] this phrase I've always contemplated

[42:34] Right. And I I want to go into the brain

[42:36] of Thai when he actually formulated this

[42:39] when he was a refugee or exiled from his

[42:42] country and all his students were being

[42:45] killed and you know persecuted in

[42:48] Vietnam and you know the Vietnamese

[42:50] people our people were being like bombed

[42:52] on and he's here exiled from

[42:56] doing something about it and you can

[42:58] feel that pain and wanting to go back

[43:01] and then later on for finally finally

[43:03] realizing and accepting that. And now I

[43:06] just think of the historical moment or

[43:09] that surrounded Tai that actually

[43:12] squeezed this phrase out that is so like

[43:16] right on,

[43:19] you know, but I does have I have a

[43:21] historical uh uh sense to it that he,

[43:24] you know, he longed to go back. He

[43:25] didn't choose to be out here in the

[43:27] west. it was like you know like forced

[43:31] on him and like you know a lot of

[43:33] Vietnamese people. So I think that was a

[43:36] teaching in the historical context to a

[43:39] culture of a Vietnamese people who had

[43:41] to you know take refuge outside of the

[43:43] country because of of war and

[43:46] destruction. So I think for me to to for

[43:50] me as a refugee and Vietnamese you know

[43:53] being outside of my own culture to come

[43:56] home and what is my real culture? what

[43:58] is my real authenticity

[44:00] and it's so beautiful and it's helped me

[44:03] come to terms with my kind of by culture

[44:06] and like belonging.

[44:08] So anyway, it addresses a lot of what's

[44:10] happening with people and identity and

[44:13] where we belong. So arriving at home is

[44:16] such a good medicine and I and I feel

[44:19] that in Thai like you know it came

[44:22] because of this wanting to help his

[44:24] country and his fellow people and then

[44:26] he finally accepted it. I was like,

[44:28] "Okay, no need to go back to Vietnam,

[44:31] you know." So, you transcend

[44:33] the notion of where is your real home?

[44:36] You you you know where is your real

[44:38] home, you know? It's where love and and

[44:41] and accepting of yourself. I have to put

[44:43] it in that perspective because it's

[44:45] happening, you know, right now in the

[44:47] world like a lot of refugees and a lot

[44:49] of uh with the Palestinians and so on

[44:52] and and with the Jewish people, right?

[44:54] So, it is a a great beautiful comment.

[44:57] if we don't you know uh uh yeah so yeah

[45:02] for me just to add that point in there

[45:05] of the history of our teacher and his

[45:07] experience and with many people who are

[45:11] running and refugees and so on. So it's

[45:15] uh to find that healing and that will

[45:18] connect you with beyond just your

[45:21] culture and your you know cultural

[45:24] identity and your your nation and

[45:26] whatever. I think it it is a beautiful

[45:28] key I think for the unifying our human

[45:32] family rather than identifying

[45:35] you know home as a culture or a nation

[45:38] or an ideology and that phrase has that

[45:41] for me not just from Buddhism but a a

[45:44] time of war in Vietnam.

[45:47] >> Yeah I appreciate the context it's

[45:49] really helpful. Can I say one more thing

[45:51] because it was so beautiful what you

[45:53] just said brother about um where our

[45:55] true home really is. I just want to add

[45:59] when you do this practice deeply

[46:02] you become a home for other people too

[46:05] cuz Tai really was a home for so many

[46:08] people. He he showed so many people how

[46:12] to find their true home and he was also

[46:15] part of that home and he he because he

[46:19] was able to take such refuge in himself.

[46:22] He showed so many people like you said

[46:26] brother who who may have been refugees

[46:28] or you know so many people of color in

[46:31] this country who don't feel at home.

[46:33] There is this deep deep teaching that we

[46:36] all of us can find home and and we can

[46:40] take refuge in ourselves and it's not

[46:42] about I mean yes the world outside needs

[46:45] to be injustices need to be addressed

[46:48] but the more we can find that deep peace

[46:52] in ourselves

[46:53] the better we can address those

[46:55] injustices.

[46:57] Okay, phrase number four.

[47:00] Brother Fapy Young, let me let me come

[47:02] to you for this. This phrase is very

[47:05] short, three words.

[47:07] This is it. What does that mean? This is

[47:09] it.

[47:10] >> You know, we were prevented from using

[47:12] that for the tour because Michael

[47:15] Jackson

[47:17] it

[47:20] is just like it it reminds me of this

[47:22] corporate culture.

[47:25] But also, you know, humorously, of

[47:27] course, you know, but yeah, this is it

[47:30] is it's so powerful, you know, three

[47:32] words and, you know, you know, people

[47:35] use it in the song and all that, but for

[47:37] me, when you know, I hear Tai share it,

[47:40] it's it's kind of like a whack, you

[47:42] know, and in the face a little bit

[47:44] because, you know, we sometimes we don't

[47:46] want to accept the present moment or

[47:49] like our situation and what's happening

[47:51] to this country, you know, and actually

[47:55] This is it teaches us to to really uh

[47:59] come back to what is happening within us

[48:04] and accept it first. This is it. So for

[48:08] me that that's how I when I uh uh hear

[48:12] Thai and when I come to this phrase um

[48:16] and it's helped me to to really not um

[48:19] because so many of us we want to like

[48:21] get rid of something that we don't want.

[48:23] So for me that's a it's something to do

[48:25] with not denying what is happening like

[48:28] you know I still get angry and I I beat

[48:31] myself up for it you know and it's you

[48:34] know for us for me to really accept

[48:36] myself well this is this is it this is

[48:40] who I am right now and this is and so in

[48:44] accepting that it gives me uh more um

[48:47] like more warmth to you know really look

[48:51] into it and then and actually go

[48:54] apologize, you know. So for me, yeah, I

[48:57] used to actually uh my my MO before

[49:02] coming into this practice is actually

[49:04] not accepting things. And so for me,

[49:07] this is it

[49:09] is a reminder that uh you know to accept

[49:13] the suffering and to accept the uh the

[49:16] the the the happiness.

[49:19] Acceptance is another one of these

[49:22] spiritual terms that gets thrown around

[49:25] a lot. Um I think where people get

[49:29] confused and maybe even frustrated is

[49:32] how do you draw the line between

[49:33] accepting things as they are not being

[49:35] at war with reality and um being passive

[49:39] or a doormat or a paluca on the other

[49:41] hand.

[49:42] >> Yeah. Know it's just the first step.

[49:44] It's not like you don't and then the

[49:46] second step is to look into it.

[49:49] And for me not accepting it, I go around

[49:52] denying it or don't want to ignore it or

[49:54] delay it or don't want you know it's

[49:56] like I have that uh habit. So for me

[50:01] it's not accepting that is like uh not

[50:03] changing and not acting and do anything.

[50:06] But if I don't accept it, I I still am

[50:09] caught in it and uh uh like especially

[50:12] denial, but it could be emotional like

[50:14] I'm really,

[50:16] you know, I'm like the the energy is hot

[50:18] and if I don't really, you know, so it

[50:21] help me to remind me to like calm down

[50:26] and then and come to terms with they

[50:28] look into it and so there, you know,

[50:31] it's not uh uh uh pass it. So this is it

[50:37] and so you know you can repeat it and

[50:40] then it helps you stop and then I look

[50:44] into it. So they it's helped me a lot

[50:46] with um dealing with my own kind of like

[50:50] not accepting myself cuz I still have a

[50:53] lot of weaknesses still a lot of things

[50:54] to transform.

[50:56] And so for me this phrase reminds me of

[50:58] that every time I see it or I hear Tai

[51:01] talk about it. And so it reminds me that

[51:04] you know uh there are other aspects to

[51:06] me and then there are other aspects to

[51:08] life as well not just the difficulties

[51:11] and there's also the wonder and those

[51:14] things can coexist. So this thing wakes

[51:17] me up to that. It it helps me um yeah to

[51:20] to deal with it more. I give it a little

[51:23] distance

[51:24] and then I come back to it.

[51:27] We all know we should be exercising,

[51:29] moving our body. And yet, when life gets

[51:32] busy or stressful or hectic, exercise is

[51:35] often the first thing to go, which can

[51:37] kind of put you down a a toilet because

[51:40] you are busy and stressed, so you don't

[51:42] exercise. But then the lack of exercise

[51:44] makes you even more stressed and feel

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[52:46] code happier for $200 off. Kyra Juel, I

[52:49] imagine this is a question you get from

[52:51] your students all the time as well, like

[52:53] what does acceptance really mean? I

[52:55] think what brother Faby Youngung is

[52:56] saying is, and I'd be curious for your

[52:58] take on this is, yeah, acceptance is the

[53:01] first step. Um, but you can't take

[53:04] effective action from a position or a

[53:07] standpoint of denial. So, uh, you got to

[53:10] start where you are.

[53:11] >> Absolutely. And you know to me it's it's

[53:14] all about

[53:17] how do we come to the situation if we

[53:20] come to it with a big block or a pushing

[53:24] it away or a judging it or a tensing

[53:26] against it. You know just like when you

[53:28] have pain in your body. If you tense

[53:31] against that pain it's going to make it

[53:33] worse. But if you can open to that pain,

[53:37] if you can breathe into that pain, if

[53:40] you can,

[53:42] you know, um, you know, you have to have

[53:46] a resourced mind to get curious about

[53:49] it. But if you can, um, soften around

[53:52] it, if you can even let it expand and

[53:55] take up more space, all of those things

[53:58] will have a very different effect on the

[54:00] pain than doubling down. and

[54:04] clenching uh you know guarding against

[54:08] it. And so, um, you know, I have back

[54:12] issues and I've been learning well also

[54:15] with an app called Hinge Health that

[54:18] it's like a physical therapy app that

[54:20] gives you exercises, but it has these

[54:21] really helpful articles that help you

[54:24] understand pain as well and and and just

[54:27] how to how to heal yourself when you've

[54:29] had an injury. and and they you know

[54:33] based on medical research it says you

[54:35] know you you have a perception of your

[54:37] pain that's not always accurate right

[54:41] that you you will guard against doing

[54:43] things but actually if you you know

[54:45] having a little bit of discomfort or

[54:47] some discomfort as you heal is normal so

[54:50] if you prevent yourself from doing those

[54:52] things you won't heal.

[54:54] So you know it's like how do we approach

[54:56] pain? How do we approach difficulty

[54:59] challenge if we can approach it with

[55:01] this willingness to have some bitterness

[55:04] in our lives? Like Tay would often teach

[55:07] about this um vegetable bitter melon

[55:10] that's um an Asian vegetable. It's it

[55:13] looks really cool. It has all these

[55:15] knobs on it. It's bright green but it's

[55:17] very bitter

[55:19] but it's good for your heart. It's

[55:22] really good for you. And so um if we're

[55:25] willing to um you know take in the

[55:29] bitterness

[55:31] there can be you know some real

[55:33] benefits. Um so it's our it's our

[55:36] attitude to that and and anytime we can

[55:40] um

[55:42] you know open rather than shut down

[55:46] uh that's that can really help the

[55:47] situation or soften rather than tense

[55:50] up. And just one other thing about um

[55:53] surrendering to things as they are is

[55:56] different from giving up. That um when

[55:59] we surrender

[56:02] to things as they are, we can work with

[56:06] them. We can we still have access to our

[56:09] full capacity. If if we talk about it in

[56:13] terms of brain science, you know, if

[56:16] surrendering means we still have our

[56:18] executive function available,

[56:20] giving up, we are we are in our lizard

[56:24] brain. We're we're we're in collapse

[56:26] mode. We're in, you know, um we don't we

[56:30] don't see our agency. So when we

[56:33] surrender, we are accepting the way

[56:35] things are, but we still see that we

[56:39] have choices. we have, you know, this

[56:42] amazing, you know, human mind that can,

[56:47] you know, work with the hardest of

[56:49] circumstances and still have some

[56:51] measure of freedom. If if we think of,

[56:54] you know, all of our heroes like the

[56:56] Tibetan monks and nuns who were in

[56:58] Chinese gulags or Nelson Mandela in in

[57:02] jail for so many years or Ellie Vessel

[57:06] in in the concentration camps, right?

[57:08] like how did they how did they keep

[57:11] their humanity? How did they come out of

[57:13] those experiences more whole? It was

[57:16] because they understood surrender the

[57:19] power of just accepting this is it. This

[57:22] is these are my circumstances. I still

[57:25] have a choice of where I put my mind of

[57:27] how I use my attention.

[57:30] I can't change the circumstances but I

[57:34] can um I can allow this really difficult

[57:38] situation to ripen me in some way to

[57:41] mature me in some way. Can I just share

[57:44] the the this phrase this practice uh has

[57:48] helped me a lot do to to it brought me a

[57:51] lot of pain in the last 6 months a year

[57:54] with what's happening in the in the

[57:57] Middle East with the Palestinians and

[57:59] now Iran and I feel like you know having

[58:02] come from a war and seeing this still

[58:05] going on this kind of this kind of you

[58:08] know approach and this kind of like

[58:11] dehumanizing and demonizing another

[58:14] group of people again. You know,

[58:16] Vietnamese people, we were we were

[58:17] demonized as well. And so to see this, I

[58:21] uh there's a part of me that's just so

[58:23] angry.

[58:25] And so I actually this accepting that

[58:28] you know our the people our human family

[58:32] and this is where we are. And it's

[58:35] helped me really transfer this energy

[58:38] first accepting that that there's part

[58:40] of you know relatives in our family. And

[58:44] so it's helped me to really accept them

[58:46] first and not to see and do the same as

[58:50] they're doing to others and say that

[58:51] they are like you know to blame to other

[58:55] them you as not myself but to accept

[58:58] them as that yeah they're part of our

[59:00] human family as well.

[59:04] And it it really it helped me a lot to

[59:06] to sit with that and to and I I did this

[59:09] for like weeks to really accept accept

[59:13] and then now it's fueling me to direct

[59:16] my energy and where do I want to focus

[59:18] it and so for me this is a a way I dealt

[59:22] with it in terms of acceptance first

[59:25] accepting this is it this is what we got

[59:27] this is the culture that we produce

[59:29] these kinds of people and education

[59:32] these are not dumb people. They're very

[59:34] smart, you know. And how did this

[59:36] happen, you know, uh that we are doing

[59:38] this with to children and and schools

[59:41] and using these uh bombs and guns and

[59:45] military things, you know, and yeah, it

[59:47] just pained me from that and but I like,

[59:51] you know, I had to accept it first. So,

[59:53] this is been a very healing thing and

[59:55] now, you know, I think I've moved from

[59:58] that. Now I'm very focused in in my

[1:00:01] energy, you know, where where I want to

[1:00:03] put my mind.

[1:00:05] >> Yeah. I mean, I can completely

[1:00:07] understand. Well, I I I can't actually

[1:00:09] understand, but I can imagine how

[1:00:13] provocative it is for you given the

[1:00:16] history of of your family, uh, your own

[1:00:19] personal history, the history of your

[1:00:21] people

[1:00:22] to to then see it happening to other

[1:00:25] peoples around around the world. Um

[1:00:29] yeah and and the and the fact is if if

[1:00:32] you can even after a period of struggle

[1:00:34] if you can move to acceptance in really

[1:00:39] heightened extreme circumstances uh such

[1:00:42] as the ones you've described well then I

[1:00:44] think I can in the face of my garden

[1:00:48] variety anxiety or little hiccups in an

[1:00:52] otherwise massively privileged life. Um

[1:00:55] yeah, it's doable for me. It's still for

[1:00:58] anybody listening or watching. One thing

[1:01:00] in the spirit of this is it. I think one

[1:01:02] thing that we uh will need to accept is

[1:01:04] that uh we set out to talk about 10 of

[1:01:08] uh your teachers phrases and we got

[1:01:09] through four, but uh the four we did

[1:01:13] cover were

[1:01:15] awesome. Um both the phrases themselves

[1:01:17] and and your your utterances about them.

[1:01:21] So before I let you go, uh let me just

[1:01:23] ask each of you to please promote

[1:01:26] anything you're working on these days

[1:01:27] that you want people to know about. Kyra

[1:01:29] Joel, I'll start with you. Um anything

[1:01:31] you got cooking that people should go

[1:01:33] check out?

[1:01:35] >> Yes, it's it's really at the beginning

[1:01:37] stages, but um but my partner and I were

[1:01:40] offered a monastery in upstate New York.

[1:01:43] Our vision is to renovate it as a

[1:01:46] Buddhist, Christian, and um uh

[1:01:49] earthbased center for contemplation.

[1:01:52] It's it's just an hour from Bluecliffe

[1:01:54] Monastery, one of one of the ones that

[1:01:56] Tay um founded. Our organization is the

[1:01:59] Beloved Community for Engaged

[1:02:01] Spirituality. So, we're right at the

[1:02:04] very beginning of um putting it

[1:02:06] together, but um we hope that it will in

[1:02:09] a few years be able to welcome people

[1:02:12] and also we'll have hermitages where

[1:02:14] people can come and do um solo, you

[1:02:17] know, sort of silent retreats. Uh but

[1:02:20] we'll be having a regular practice

[1:02:22] schedule that people can also join in.

[1:02:25] Um and there'll be a chapel and a

[1:02:27] meditation hall. So both faiths will

[1:02:30] will um be coming together and and more

[1:02:34] than just those two faiths. It'll be a

[1:02:36] place where um where really we're

[1:02:39] looking at how to become mature

[1:02:42] spiritual practitioners that can respond

[1:02:44] to the needs of of this very um very

[1:02:49] suffering world that is um you know in

[1:02:52] some kind of collapse. So what are the

[1:02:55] kind of spiritual wisdoms that we need

[1:02:57] in order to to be responsive in these

[1:03:00] times?

[1:03:01] >> That sounds extraordinary.

[1:03:04] Um, best of luck.

[1:03:05] >> Thank you.

[1:03:07] >> Because it sounds like something that we

[1:03:08] need right now. And brother Fapy Young,

[1:03:10] on your side, anything uh you're putting

[1:03:12] out into the world that we should be uh

[1:03:14] aware of.

[1:03:15] >> Yeah, like I was saying, uh directing my

[1:03:17] energy towards education. Uh this fall

[1:03:20] we'll be opening our first time of the

[1:03:22] school uh taken school of interbeing and

[1:03:26] to re look at education and purpose of

[1:03:28] education. So create an environment

[1:03:31] where children are feel loved cared for

[1:03:35] like a a spiritual family that includes

[1:03:37] their parents. So it's community so

[1:03:39] families come and live. We opening K to

[1:03:43] 4 this time and we want to go to K to 8

[1:03:46] and then eventually K to 12. We already

[1:03:49] have many examples from the retreats

[1:03:51] that we have, family retreats and I have

[1:03:53] and many young people from that system

[1:03:56] have come back and they brought their

[1:03:58] girlfriend, their wives, their husband

[1:04:00] and see how beautiful they are and they

[1:04:03] know they have a compass, a moral

[1:04:05] compass and what is good. So just you

[1:04:08] know one one week a year already. Can

[1:04:10] you imagine like a school year for you

[1:04:14] know so that is for me how we need to

[1:04:17] change the the the structure of society

[1:04:21] and and and and education as well. So I

[1:04:24] think that that is kind of like at the

[1:04:27] root of uh uh what's happening in the

[1:04:30] world. Brother Fap Young, Kyra Julingo,

[1:04:33] thank you both for the incredible work

[1:04:35] you do in the world and for spending

[1:04:37] some time with me and us.

[1:04:40] >> Thank you, Dan.

[1:04:41] >> Always a pleasure.

[1:04:43] >> Thank you very much for listening to the

[1:04:44] show. I really appreciate it. And if you

[1:04:46] enjoy listening to the show, if you get

[1:04:49] anything out of it, please do me a

[1:04:50] solid. Leave a rating or a review. I

[1:04:54] know every podcast host asks for this,

[1:04:56] but it really makes a difference. It

[1:04:58] helps boost the visibility of this show.

[1:05:01] We view this show as a mission to help

[1:05:04] people become nodes of sanity and an

[1:05:06] insane world. And so by taking a minute

[1:05:09] and giving the show a rating or a

[1:05:11] review, you're really helping us out and

[1:05:14] helping us achieve our mission. Thank

[1:05:16] you again. And now on to the credits.

[1:05:19] Thank you so much to everybody who works

[1:05:21] so hard to make this show. 10% Happier

[1:05:23] is produced by Tara Anderson, Marissa

[1:05:26] Schneiderman, DJ Cashmir, David Hart,

[1:05:28] and Hayden Broom. Post-prouction is

[1:05:31] handled by the great folks over at

[1:05:32] Greenhorn Creative, and Nick Thorburn of

[1:05:35] the great indie rock band Islands wrote

[1:05:37] our theme. Thank you for listening.

[1:05:39] Deuces.

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