Teaching on return
“So: return. Forget. Return again. Forgive yourself for forgetting.”
MN
Mark Nepo

The Cycles of Return: Embracing Forgetting and Forgiveness

Mark Nepo invites us into a profound dance of existence with his poignant words: "So: return. Forget. Return again. Forgive yourself for forgetting." This quote encapsulates the essence of our human experience, where the act of returning to our true selves is often intertwined with moments of forgetfulness. In a world that constantly pulls us in myriad directions, the stakes of this teaching are high; it reminds us that the journey of self-discovery is not linear but rather cyclical, filled with opportunities for renewal and self-compassion.

As we navigate the complexities of life, we inevitably encounter moments where we stray from our authentic selves. The invitation to "forget" suggests that we may lose sight of our essence, yet it is in this very forgetting that we can find the impetus to return. Nepo's words resonate deeply in our contemporary lives, where distractions abound and self-judgment often reigns. To forgive ourselves for these lapses is not merely an act of kindness; it is a necessary step toward reclaiming our wholeness and embracing the ongoing journey of awakening.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Nepo's quote evokes a sense of movement and fluidity, as if we are caught in a gentle tide that ebbs and flows. The verbs "return," "forget," and "forgive" create a rhythmic pattern, suggesting that these actions are not isolated events but rather part of a larger cycle. Each word carries weight, inviting us to reflect on our experiences of disconnection and reconnection. The act of returning implies a journey back to a place of familiarity, while forgetting acknowledges the inevitable lapses that occur along the way.

Diving deeper into the metaphor, we can see that forgetting is not merely a failure; it is an integral part of the human experience. It highlights our vulnerability and the transient nature of awareness. In this light, forgetting becomes a teacher, urging us to cultivate mindfulness and presence. The cyclical nature of return and forgiveness suggests that our path is not about achieving a permanent state of enlightenment but rather about embracing the ongoing process of becoming, where each return is an opportunity for deeper understanding and growth.

In the speaker's tradition

Mark Nepo's insights are rooted in contemporary mysticism, a tradition that emphasizes the interconnectedness of all beings and the importance of personal experience in the spiritual journey. Concepts such as dharma and kenosis resonate with his message, as they both speak to the idea of surrendering to the flow of life and recognizing our inherent purpose. In this context, forgetting can be seen as a necessary part of our spiritual evolution, allowing us to shed layers of illusion and return to our true nature.

In "The Book of Awakening," Nepo draws upon the wisdom of various spiritual traditions, weaving together insights that echo the teachings of mindfulness found in Buddhism and the self-compassion emphasized in modern psychology. The notion of sunyata, or emptiness, parallels the idea of forgetting, suggesting that in moments of loss, we can find the space for new beginnings. This interplay of forgetting and returning is a reminder that our spiritual journey is not about perfection but about embracing the fullness of our human experience.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a busy professional who finds themselves overwhelmed by the demands of work and life. In the hustle, they may forget their core values and passions, losing sight of what truly matters. The invitation to return becomes a gentle reminder to pause, reflect, and reconnect with their authentic self. By forgiving themselves for the distractions that led them astray, they can cultivate a renewed sense of purpose and direction, allowing their true essence to guide their actions once more.

In the realm of relationships, this teaching can manifest in moments of conflict or misunderstanding. When we forget the love and connection that initially brought us together, it can be easy to fall into patterns of blame and resentment. However, the act of returning—whether through open communication or shared experiences—can help to rekindle that bond. Forgiving ourselves for the moments of disconnection allows us to approach our loved ones with compassion, fostering deeper understanding and healing in the relationship.

A reflection

As we contemplate Nepo's words, we are invited to consider our own cycles of forgetting and returning. How often do we allow ourselves the grace to forgive our lapses in awareness? In what areas of our lives do we need to return to our true selves, and how can we cultivate a practice of self-compassion in the face of forgetfulness? These questions serve as a guiding light, encouraging us to embrace the ebb and flow of our spiritual journey with open hearts.

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Mark Nepo

Wisdom from Mark Nepo.

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Frequently Asked Questions

In this context, 'return' signifies the act of coming back to one's true self or essence after experiencing moments of distraction or forgetfulness. It emphasizes the cyclical nature of self-discovery, where each return is an opportunity for renewal and deeper understanding.
You can apply this teaching by cultivating mindfulness and self-awareness in your daily activities. When you notice yourself feeling disconnected or lost, take a moment to pause, reflect, and gently guide yourself back to your core values and intentions.
Yes, the themes of forgetting and returning are prevalent in various contemporary-mysticism texts. Authors like Pema Chödrön and Richard Rohr explore similar concepts, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and the cyclical nature of spiritual growth.
Forgetting refers to the moments when we lose sight of our true selves or values, while letting go involves releasing attachments or expectations that no longer serve us. Both concepts are interconnected, as forgetting can lead to the need for letting go in order to return to a more authentic state.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By regularly engaging in mindfulness, you can cultivate greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to recognize when you have forgotten your true self and gently guide yourself back.
Forgiving yourself for forgetting involves acknowledging your humanity and the natural ebb and flow of life. Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that everyone experiences moments of distraction and that these lapses are opportunities for growth rather than failures.

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