Teaching on pleasing
“There is a perfect formula for failure: try to please everyone.”
JC
Joseph Campbell

Joseph Campbell's assertion that "there is a perfect formula for failure: try to please everyone" serves as a poignant reminder of the futility inherent in seeking universal approval. In a world that often equates worth with acceptance, this quote invites us to reflect on the paradox of pleasing others while neglecting our own authentic selves. The stakes are high; in our quest for validation, we risk losing our individuality and, ultimately, our sense of purpose.

Delving deeper, Campbell's words resonate with the universal human experience of striving for connection and acceptance. Yet, this pursuit can lead to a dissonance that fragments our identity. The pressure to conform to the expectations of others can create a cycle of anxiety and dissatisfaction, where the more we try to please, the more we find ourselves adrift. This quote challenges us to reconsider our motivations and the true cost of seeking approval from the multitude.

The image / the metaphor

At first glance, Campbell's quote presents a straightforward image: the act of trying to please everyone is likened to a formula, suggesting a systematic approach to failure. The verbs "try" and "please" evoke a sense of effort and intention, yet they also imply a struggle against an impossible standard. The imagery conjures a scene of a juggler, desperately attempting to keep multiple balls in the air, each representing the desires and expectations of different individuals. The felt sense is one of tension and instability, as the juggler risks dropping everything in the attempt to satisfy all.

Going deeper, the metaphor speaks to the inherent conflict between external validation and internal fulfillment. The act of pleasing others often requires a compromise of our true selves, leading to a fragmented existence where we wear masks to fit various roles. This metaphor extends beyond mere failure; it encapsulates the emotional toll of living inauthentically, where the pursuit of approval becomes a labyrinthine journey that ultimately leads us away from our core essence.

In the speaker's tradition

Joseph Campbell, a luminary in the field of comparative mythology, invites us to explore the depths of human experience through the lens of myth. His work often emphasizes the importance of following one's own path, a concept that resonates with the idea of dharma in Eastern traditions. Dharma, or one's rightful duty, encourages individuals to align with their true nature rather than conform to societal expectations. In this light, Campbell's warning against the pursuit of universal approval becomes a call to embrace our unique journeys, even if they diverge from the paths of others.

Moreover, Campbell's insights can be paralleled with the concept of kenosis, or self-emptying, found in various spiritual traditions. This notion suggests that true fulfillment arises not from the accumulation of external accolades but from the relinquishing of the ego's need for validation. In his seminal work, "The Hero with a Thousand Faces," Campbell illustrates the hero's journey as one of self-discovery, where the protagonist must confront the expectations of society to uncover their authentic self. This journey underscores the importance of prioritizing inner truth over external approval.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching resonates: the workplace. In a corporate environment, individuals often feel pressured to conform to the expectations of colleagues and superiors, leading to a culture of compliance rather than creativity. An employee may find themselves sacrificing their innovative ideas to align with the prevailing opinions of the team, ultimately stifling their potential. This situation exemplifies Campbell's warning; in the effort to please everyone, the individual risks losing their unique contributions and, consequently, their sense of fulfillment.

In personal relationships, the implications of this teaching can be equally profound. Imagine a friendship where one person consistently prioritizes the needs and desires of the other, neglecting their own feelings in the process. Over time, this imbalance can lead to resentment and emotional disconnection, as the individual feels unseen and unvalued. By recognizing the futility of trying to please everyone, we can cultivate healthier relationships grounded in mutual respect and authenticity, allowing both parties to thrive.

A reflection

As we contemplate Campbell's insight, we are invited to reflect on our own lives: In what ways do we seek to please others at the expense of our true selves? This question encourages a deep examination of our motivations and the societal pressures that shape our choices. By embracing the courage to honor our authentic selves, we can begin to forge a path that aligns with our unique purpose, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling existence.

Artist
Joseph Campbell

Wisdom from Joseph Campbell.

Got Questions?

Campbell's quote highlights the futility of seeking universal approval, suggesting that the attempt to please everyone leads to a loss of one's authentic self. It serves as a cautionary reminder that in trying to meet the expectations of others, we risk compromising our individuality and purpose.
To apply this teaching, start by identifying areas in your life where you feel pressured to conform to others' expectations. Practice setting boundaries and prioritize your own needs and desires, allowing yourself to embrace authenticity over approval.
Yes, the theme of authenticity versus societal expectation is prevalent in many mythological narratives. For instance, the hero's journey often involves a confrontation with societal norms, leading to self-discovery and the realization that true fulfillment comes from within.
Dharma refers to one's rightful duty or path, emphasizing the importance of aligning with one's true nature. Kenosis, on the other hand, involves self-emptying and relinquishing the ego's need for validation. Both concepts encourage authenticity, but they approach it from different angles.
Mindfulness meditation can be a powerful practice for living this teaching. By cultivating awareness of your thoughts and feelings, you can better discern when you are seeking external approval and redirect your focus toward your authentic self.
Awareness is key. Pay attention to feelings of anxiety or discomfort when making decisions. If you find yourself constantly seeking validation or second-guessing your choices based on others' opinions, it may be a sign that you are trying to please everyone.

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