Teaching on love
“Love is the most natural thing. Fear is what we have learned.”
DM
Don Miguel Ruiz

In the profound words of Don Miguel Ruiz, "Love is the most natural thing. Fear is what we have learned." This statement invites us to reconsider our intrinsic nature and the layers of conditioning that obscure our true selves. At its core, this quote challenges us to recognize that love, in its purest form, is an innate quality, while fear is a learned response shaped by our experiences and societal influences. Understanding this distinction is crucial, as it opens the door to a more authentic existence, one where love can flourish unencumbered by the weight of fear.

Ruiz's assertion serves as a poignant reminder of the dichotomy between love and fear, urging us to reflect on how our lives are often governed by the latter. Fear manifests in myriad ways—anxiety, insecurity, and doubt—often leading us to build walls around our hearts. By acknowledging that these fears are not inherent but rather acquired, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that prevent us from experiencing the love that is our birthright. This exploration is not merely an intellectual exercise; it is a transformative journey toward reclaiming our natural state of being.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Ruiz's quote evokes a sense of simplicity and clarity. Love is depicted as a natural force, akin to the air we breathe or the sun that rises each day. The choice of the word "natural" suggests that love is not something we must strive for or earn; it is already present within us, waiting to be expressed. In contrast, fear is framed as a learned behavior, implying that it is an artificial construct that can be unlearned. This juxtaposition creates a vivid contrast between the ease of love and the struggle of fear, inviting us to explore the origins of our emotional responses.

In the speaker's tradition

Don Miguel Ruiz is deeply rooted in the Toltec tradition, which emphasizes the importance of personal freedom and the pursuit of knowledge. Central to this tradition is the concept of "mitote," or the noise of the mind, which often distracts us from our true nature. In this context, fear can be seen as a manifestation of the mitote, a cacophony of learned beliefs that cloud our perception of reality. By recognizing that love is our inherent state, we can begin to quiet the mitote and reconnect with our authentic selves, allowing love to guide our actions and interactions.

In his seminal work, "The Mastery of Love," Ruiz draws upon the idea of "toltecayotl," which refers to the wisdom and knowledge of the Toltecs. This wisdom teaches that love is a force that transcends fear, enabling us to navigate the complexities of human relationships with grace and compassion. The teachings of the Toltecs resonate with the notion of "kenosis," or self-emptying, found in various spiritual traditions. By emptying ourselves of fear and the learned behaviors that accompany it, we create space for love to flourish, ultimately leading to a more harmonious existence.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a workplace filled with competition and stress. In such an environment, fear often manifests as anxiety about job security or the need for validation. By recognizing that these fears are learned responses, individuals can consciously choose to approach their work with love—fostering collaboration, support, and understanding among colleagues. This shift not only enhances personal well-being but also cultivates a culture of love and trust within the workplace, demonstrating the transformative power of embracing our natural state.

In the realm of personal relationships, the teaching of love versus fear can be particularly poignant. Imagine a couple facing a conflict rooted in misunderstandings and insecurities. If both partners can acknowledge that their fears—be it fear of rejection or fear of inadequacy—are learned rather than inherent, they can approach the situation with empathy and compassion. By choosing to respond from a place of love, rather than fear, they create an opportunity for healing and deeper connection. This practice of love becomes a daily commitment, allowing individuals to navigate challenges with grace and understanding.

A reflection

As we contemplate the wisdom embedded in Ruiz's quote, we are invited to ask ourselves: What fears have I learned that obscure my ability to love freely? This question encourages a deep introspection, prompting us to examine the beliefs and experiences that shape our emotional responses. By identifying these fears, we can begin the process of unlearning and reclaiming our natural state of love, ultimately leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

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Don Miguel Ruiz

Wisdom from Don Miguel Ruiz.

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Got Questions?

Ruiz suggests that love is an inherent quality within all of us, a state of being that aligns with our true essence. Unlike fear, which is learned through experiences and societal conditioning, love is something we naturally possess and can express freely.
You can apply this teaching by becoming aware of your fears and recognizing them as learned behaviors rather than inherent truths. By consciously choosing to respond to situations from a place of love, you can foster deeper connections and create a more positive environment in your daily interactions.
Yes, the themes of love and fear are prevalent in other Toltec teachings, particularly in the works of Don Miguel Ruiz, such as 'The Four Agreements.' These texts emphasize the importance of personal freedom and the transformative power of love in overcoming fear.
In this context, fear is viewed as a learned response to perceived threats, while anxiety can be seen as a manifestation of that fear, often leading to overthinking and worry. Both are rooted in learned behaviors, but anxiety may encompass a broader range of emotional responses.
Mindfulness and self-reflection are key practices that support living this teaching. By regularly examining your thoughts and emotions, you can identify fears that arise and consciously choose to respond with love, fostering a more authentic and compassionate way of being.

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