Transcript
[0:01] Good evening.
[0:03] [snorts]
[0:05] Can everybody in the back hear me if I
[0:06] speak on this volume?
[0:15] Imagine different
[0:17] different spectrums, different layers.
[0:23] Layer 1, layer two, layer three, layer
[0:25] four. You don't have to label it, but
[0:27] just different layers. Just picture a
[0:29] diagram with different layers or like a
[0:32] a picture or a drawing of the ocean with
[0:34] different layers of current or different
[0:38] wavelengths.
[0:40] And each section in a sense has a
[0:42] different color. For example, just
[0:44] separate these out for yourself. So that
[0:46] there's this clear distinction, this
[0:47] clear visualization of different layers,
[0:50] different levels.
[0:54] Every level
[0:58] In a sense, it represents levels of
[1:00] existence. Just levels of consciousness
[1:02] within existence or frequencies.
[1:05] Frequency levels.
[1:08] Every level in existence has its own
[1:10] points of view. The ways that it sees
[1:14] life, that ways that it understands and
[1:16] sees
[1:18] its present experience.
[1:21] We could also call these beliefs in a
[1:22] sense, points of view or beliefs or
[1:25] perspectives.
[1:29] Each layer has its own sort of
[1:33] set of beliefs. Within one layer, there
[1:35] is the possibility to expand your
[1:37] beliefs only till a certain point. And
[1:41] they're all going to have
[1:44] every belief that you run into on that
[1:46] level of consciousness, they're all
[1:48] going to have something in common,
[1:50] something there's something similar
[1:52] about them. They're of a particular
[1:55] level. They're of a particular vibratory
[1:58] nature. They have a particular feel to
[2:00] them. They have a limit to their
[2:02] understanding, a limit to how expensive
[2:05] these beliefs can be. If you go a level
[2:07] up in a sense then you naturally reach
[2:11] from that point of view you feel it's
[2:13] freedom which is great it is it's the
[2:16] expansion so it feels like freedom but
[2:18] as many of you who have been spiritually
[2:22] searching and practicing and finding and
[2:24] searching and practicing and finding and
[2:25] searching and practicing and finding and
[2:27] searching and practicing and finding.
[2:30] You will know from experience that one
[2:32] point of view that at first really did
[2:35] it for you, that first really liberated
[2:37] you, after a while it sort of grows
[2:40] still. Have you had that before?
[2:42] You can use a particular pointer, a
[2:43] particular meditation or a belief to
[2:46] sort of counter a way of seeing life
[2:48] that you previously didn't use. But now
[2:51] that you're using it, you're gaining the
[2:53] freedom, the sense of freedom. And maybe
[2:55] at that point, you call that freedom.
[2:57] Period. You say, "Oh, that's the
[2:58] freedom. this is the way it is because
[3:00] it feels free. It doesn't feel like it's
[3:02] another layer of beliefs. Doesn't feel
[3:04] like it's another layer of perspective.
[3:07] It just feels so much more expansive
[3:09] than the previous level that we call it
[3:11] freedom. But in a sense, it's just the
[3:14] expansion of consciousness.
[3:18] And once that starts to grow still,
[3:21] there may be a seeking energy again.
[3:23] There may be a a sense of not being
[3:25] entirely satisfied again. And so you
[3:28] search in a sense you have that urge for
[3:30] greater expansion again. And you again
[3:33] go a level up in a sense and
[3:36] reach that level where there is again
[3:38] different perspectives, difference
[3:40] points of view that are more expansive
[3:42] in nature or wiser, more loving, more in
[3:44] alignment with the idea that all is one.
[3:50] On each level of those perspectives,
[3:53] you cannot win from any of these
[3:55] perspectives.
[3:57] So let's just use a very common human
[4:00] one on a very basic human condition
[4:03] level which is that of I'm unworthy. As
[4:05] soon as you grow up here you're taught
[4:07] that you're unworthy basically everyone
[4:10] as I see it.
[4:13] So
[4:15] on that level of I'm unworthy there is
[4:17] no resolution to the idea I am unworthy.
[4:22] There is no resolution whatsoever to the
[4:23] idea I am unworthy. on that level
[4:27] it will always confirm itself. It can
[4:30] never compensate for itself. It can
[4:33] never find I am worthy on the same
[4:36] frequency as I'm unworthy. The level
[4:39] which holds the belief I am unworthy.
[4:42] From that level there is no healing of
[4:44] that perspective is always going to be
[4:46] right. You can't win.
[4:50] Realizing this, the best way to go level
[4:52] up is to admit
[4:55] total and utter defeat.
[4:57] [clears throat]
[4:59] Instead of fearing that it's true that
[5:02] you're not worthy and therefore trying
[5:04] to fight your way through life, trying
[5:06] to prove you are worthy,
[5:08] instead just say, "It's true. I'm not
[5:11] worthy."
[5:14] Admit defeat.
[5:17] Say, "It is true. I'm not worthy. It's
[5:20] actually true from that perspective that
[5:22] I'm not worthy.
[5:27] Well, okay. If I can't do anything about
[5:29] it,
[5:30] then who cares?
[5:33] If I don't have to fight to compensate
[5:35] for it, to prove it wrong. If I will
[5:38] always lose, no matter how hard I try,
[5:41] no matter how close I get,
[5:45] then finally I can lay down my arms and
[5:46] I can just relax and be who I want to
[5:48] be.
[5:49] It's always going to be true from a
[5:51] particular point of view that you're not
[5:53] worthy, that you're not good enough. No
[5:54] matter how well you perform, no matter
[5:56] how perfect you do the things you do to
[5:58] perform, to compensate,
[6:02] that seeking in a sense, that suffering,
[6:05] that searching, that striving is that
[6:07] compensation, that urge to compensate
[6:10] for that conditioned idea of I'm
[6:12] unworthy. But that compensation happens
[6:14] from having a portion of your
[6:16] consciousness be identified with that
[6:19] belief. Therefore, a portion of your
[6:21] consciousness sees through the point of
[6:23] view I am unworthy. And that portion of
[6:27] your consciousness feels the urge. It is
[6:29] that portion of your consciousness
[6:31] that's looking through the belief I'm
[6:33] unworthy that feels like it wants to
[6:36] prove it's worthy.
[6:39] You follow?
[6:40] Yes.
[6:42] So it's never going to win because it's
[6:44] looking from the point of view I'm
[6:46] unworthy. So whatever it finds, it will
[6:48] always be true. So admit defeat, very
[6:50] important.
[6:53] And in a sense, you could call this
[6:55] [snorts] a different way of looking at
[6:56] shadow work if you're familiar with
[6:58] that. It's just to come to terms to own
[7:00] the fact that you believe you're not
[7:02] worthy
[7:03] so that it can let go its grasp of it.
[7:06] Or rather, you can let go of that level
[7:08] of beliefs.
[7:12] So you can say it to yourself right now
[7:14] in internally.
[7:17] What are you most afraid of in terms of
[7:20] personal failure?
[7:22] What would prove that you are indeed not
[7:25] worthy? What could you do? What could
[7:28] you mess up in life? What projects are
[7:32] you currently excited about that if
[7:33] you'd fail would mean something? Would
[7:36] mean a confirmation of I'm unworthy.
[7:40] What believe in yourself? What negative
[7:42] belief do you fear could be true?
[7:50] What are you suddenly trying to
[7:51] compensate for?
[8:00] And it usually is a form of I'm not
[8:03] worthy. Can be I'm inadequate. I'm a
[8:05] failure. I'm not worth anything. I don't
[8:07] deserve anything. But it's a a sense of
[8:10] I'm not worthy. I'm not there. I'm not
[8:12] good enough. I'm not perfect. I'm not
[8:13] loved.
[8:15] So find that belief that you're afraid
[8:17] of being true. And say to yourself
[8:20] internally, I'm afraid that it's true
[8:23] that dot dot dot that I'm unworthy. For
[8:26] example, I'm afraid that it's true that
[8:29] I'm unworthy.
[8:30] I'm afraid that it's true that I'm not
[8:32] perfect.
[8:34] I'm afraid that it's true that I'm a
[8:36] failure.
[8:37] And just feel the honesty of that within
[8:40] yourself. Feel the honesty of admitting
[8:42] that
[8:47] say to yourself, "It is true that I'm
[8:50] unworthy."
[8:54] And see how that may cause some
[8:56] uncomfortability
[8:58] because you still fear that it's true,
[9:00] but on some level you believe it's not
[9:02] the whole truth. That's why you keep
[9:03] fighting to compensate for it. You're
[9:06] trying on that same level to reach a
[9:08] state and to reach circumstances and to
[9:11] look a certain way in the eyes of other
[9:12] people that it will look like and feel
[9:15] like you are worthy. But it's just a
[9:18] cover up.
[9:20] Does that make sense?
[9:22] So what does it bring up for you the
[9:24] moment you say first you say, "Okay, I'm
[9:27] afraid that it's true that I'm
[9:28] unworthy."
[9:30] And you sort of sink into that feeling
[9:32] and you take a deep breath and go, "Ah,
[9:34] okay. Okay, that's true. And you just
[9:36] feel the honesty of that. And then you
[9:37] go on and say, "And yes, it is true. I
[9:41] am unworthy.
[9:44] I can't escape that. It's absolutely
[9:46] true that I'm not good enough
[9:48] on that level. From that perspective,
[9:51] I'm never going to be good enough.
[9:54] You're always going to be right." You
[9:55] can say that to your own belief. You're
[9:57] always going to be right. I'm never
[10:00] going to make it. I'm never going to be
[10:01] good enough. I'm never going to be
[10:02] loved. I'm never going to be perfect.
[10:05] And sit with that admittance with
[10:07] admitting that and feel how that can
[10:09] cause some uncomfortability and the
[10:11] desire to sort of escape and go into
[10:13] compensation mode again.
[10:16] But try to sit with it for a moment. Try
[10:18] to feel into it. Try to not be afraid of
[10:20] the fear that it's true. Don't be afraid
[10:23] of being afraid that it's true.
[10:26] Therefore, it can help to say it is
[10:28] true. Then you may go, "No, it's not.
[10:31] Let me prove it to you. It's not true. I
[10:33] can do this. I can do that. I can do
[10:34] that. I did this. I did that. Doesn't
[10:38] that count?
[10:39] Just sit with the feeling where you say
[10:42] to your own belief system, it is true
[10:44] that I'm not worthy. And it's true that
[10:46] I never will be worthy in your eyes. In
[10:50] my own eyes, from this level of seeing,
[10:52] I will never be good enough ever. No
[10:55] matter what I do. No matter what I do.
[10:59] This belief is more intelligent than any
[11:01] attempt to compensate for it. You can
[11:04] never escape it. It will always
[11:05] checkmate you. So admit full admittance
[11:09] that that belief is absolutely true from
[11:11] its own point of view.
[11:16] Sit with that uncomfortability until it
[11:18] becomes a sigh of relaxation, a sigh of
[11:20] surrender, a sigh of letting go of the
[11:22] struggle to try and compensate for it
[11:24] because that's where the real pain comes
[11:26] in. That's where the real suffering is.
[11:28] That [clears throat] belief, that
[11:29] feeling I'm unworthy doesn't mean
[11:31] anything.
[11:34] What's so bad about feeling unworthy?
[11:38] Feel it. What's so bad about it? Is it
[11:40] inherently wrong? It's just a feeling.
[11:45] I'm not good enough. I didn't make the
[11:47] cut. My daddy doesn't love me. My mommy
[11:50] doesn't love me. They don't see me for
[11:51] who I am. My teachers don't see me for
[11:54] who I am. My friends don't see me for
[11:56] who I am. My partner doesn't see me for
[11:57] who I am. I'm not good enough. I'm not
[12:00] loved. I'm not perfect. I'm a failure.
[12:02] What's so bad about that?
[12:04] [clears throat] Why are you running for
[12:06] it? Isn't it much worse to run for it
[12:08] for years and years and years and try
[12:10] and compensate for it?
[12:13] Isn't that the struggle? Isn't that the
[12:16] pain?
[12:21] Admit defeat
[12:24] and you'll be victorious.
[12:29] Try to prove that belief wrong
[12:34] and you'll always feel like a failure.
[12:36] But actually feel like a failure
[12:40] and it will resolve
[12:43] because that will give you a chance to
[12:46] [sighs]
[12:46] that s when you arrive at that sigh of
[12:48] relaxation that sigh of letting go of
[12:50] the stress and the struggle of trying to
[12:52] prove it wrong that you will feel
[12:54] unworthy
[12:57] and trying to prove to yourself that you
[12:59] are good enough.
[13:04] When you relax that by seeing that you
[13:06] can never win that battle,
[13:09] that relaxation is actually a sort of
[13:11] like an ascension into the next level of
[13:14] consciousness where there is different
[13:16] more expansive perspectives available to
[13:19] you.
[13:22] Does that make sense?
[13:24] Yeah.
[13:27] Does it make you uncomfortable?
[13:29] Yes.
[13:31] Good. That's good because
[13:34] You've been running it from so long.
[13:36] You've been running from it for so long.
[13:39] So I don't expect you and you shouldn't
[13:41] expect of yourself
[13:43] to have that sigh of relief
[13:44] instantaneously. Although it's possible,
[13:47] but the fact that you feel uncomfortable
[13:49] when you say to yourself, it is true
[13:51] that I'm not good enough. The fact that
[13:52] you immediately feel the urge to go out
[13:55] and prove yourself,
[13:57] prove it other otherwise. and just see
[14:00] that that attempt, that very tiny single
[14:02] attempt is actually [clears throat] a
[14:04] symbol for your entire life. That's what
[14:07] you've been doing your whole life to
[14:09] some extent in your own unique way.
[14:13] And see, just look at that belief or
[14:15] look at that urge to then escape it
[14:16] again when you say to yourself, it is
[14:19] true that I'm unworthy. And then that
[14:22] little no, it's not. Look at that and
[14:26] see [laughter]
[14:27] see that as your entire life. See that
[14:30] that encapsulates your entire identity,
[14:33] your entire life, your entire struggle,
[14:35] your entire search, even your spiritual
[14:37] search is polluted by it
[14:40] or especially your spiritual search.
[14:46] So sit with the uncomfortability. It's
[14:48] worth it. Sit with it. Admit it again
[14:50] and again and again. Don't let yourself
[14:51] escape.
[14:53] see that truly it is true that you're
[14:56] unworthy. There's many perspectives out
[14:58] there that are absolutely valid from
[15:01] which point of view you are absolutely
[15:03] not perfect. You're absolutely unworthy.
[15:06] You can come up with a lot of
[15:07] perspectives that actually see it that
[15:10] way. And so it's true from these
[15:12] perspectives. There's a lot of
[15:14] perspectives out there from which it is
[15:15] true that you're not worthy, that you're
[15:17] not good enough.
[15:19] So what? So what? it's true that you're
[15:22] not worthy from these perspectives.
[15:24] Really sit with that and admit that to
[15:25] yourself
[15:27] and allow the uncomfortability to be
[15:29] there. Give it as much of your spacious
[15:31] awareness as you can. Just sort of rest
[15:34] into it. Admit that you're not going to
[15:36] feel well for a little bit when you're
[15:38] doing this. Admit or accept that it's
[15:42] going to be uncomfortable for a little
[15:43] bit, but see that it's going to save you
[15:46] the rest of your life.
[15:49] So, it's worth it those few minutes. And
[15:51] the more you're willing to actually
[15:52] accept it and meet it, and the more
[15:54] value you see in admitting that from
[15:56] that point of view, you're never going
[15:58] to be right. You can never convince that
[16:00] point of view. You can only shift to a
[16:02] different frequency where that point of
[16:04] view is no longer believed in.
[16:07] But that from that point of view, it's
[16:08] always going to be true. The more
[16:10] willing you are to face that, the more
[16:12] immediate
[16:17] that transformation happens. Anything
[16:28] that comes up for you that sort of stops
[16:31] the process
[16:33] that you'd like to share
[16:42] that we perhaps could use as an example
[16:44] for the whole group.
[16:52] I get the feeling [clears throat] that
[16:54] there if I were
[16:57] to change something fundamental
[17:01] um
[17:02] about
[17:05] how I'm doing life or
[17:08] experiencing life, then I would um
[17:14] be okay with myself enough to experience
[17:18] the something other than the
[17:21] fear of unworthiness or the actual
[17:24] unworthiness and it comes through with
[17:27] in specifics with things I know I should
[17:29] be doing that would
[17:32] there
[17:34] so what do you feel anything is stopping
[17:36] you at this point from saying okay I see
[17:39] I'm afraid that it is true I'm not even
[17:42] afraid to be unworthy I'm just I'm
[17:43] afraid that it is true I'm not afraid to
[17:46] feel that we're not afraid to feel
[17:47] unworthy. We're afraid that it's true
[17:49] that we're unworthy, that it's
[17:50] fundamentally true, that our nature is
[17:53] that we're unworthy.
[17:59] The feeling of unworthiness, we're not
[18:01] really afraid of. We're just afraid of
[18:02] the fact that it's going to be true.
[18:04] That's why we keep compensating. So to
[18:06] admit that to yourself and to see or to
[18:10] admit that you can never beat that point
[18:12] of view from its own point of view
[18:16] and to admit that and then to come to
[18:18] that sigh of relaxation that sigh of
[18:22] of healing of stopping the fight of
[18:24] checkmating yourself and allowing
[18:26] yourself to in a sense advance or go
[18:30] beyond that level of perspective.
[18:33] Is there anything that's blocking you
[18:35] from that?
[18:45] Are you asking me?
[18:46] Mhm. [clears throat]
[18:58] I guess the main thing that's blocking
[18:59] me is
[19:02] I don't really believe that even if I
[19:05] accomplish the things that I know that I
[19:08] need to do to be a better person or more
[19:11] spiritually in tune that even if I
[19:14] accomplish them that
[19:17] that I would have the feeling of I am
[19:20] worthy and I am okay and feeling bliss
[19:24] or love or or whatever that something
[19:26] tells me that even if I finished that
[19:28] list and was perfect at it that I would
[19:30] still have this feeling so might as well
[19:33] kind of stay stuck or not really put my
[19:37] energy there because it seems like it
[19:40] might be feudal.
[19:41] Mhm. So not stay stuck but admit defeat.
[19:45] It's true that no matter how good you
[19:47] become at whatever you can become good
[19:49] at, it's never going to be good enough
[19:51] for yourself. That point of view is
[19:53] never going to rest.
[19:55] So that's true, but that doesn't mean
[19:56] you're stuck. It doesn't mean there's no
[19:58] alternative. The alternative is to admit
[20:00] defeat.
[20:02] So totally that you don't care anymore
[20:04] about trying to prove it otherwise.
[20:08] Then you're free from the point of view.
[20:09] Then you're free from believing it. Then
[20:11] your that portion of your consciousness
[20:12] which is looking through that
[20:14] perspective
[20:17] admits the feed returns to its source
[20:19] its whole consciousness you that whole
[20:21] beingness of you and thus from that
[20:24] point of view it will reemerge in a
[20:26] sense on a level that's more proficient
[20:28] that's more in alignment with itself.
[20:32] Does that make sense?
[20:35] It it does. It's hard to
[20:38] it's hard for me to go from that making
[20:41] sense in my head to that making sense in
[20:45] a way that feels true like an
[20:47] experience.
[20:48] Right? Can you admit defeat?
[20:51] Do you have a particular belief like
[20:53] that?
[20:59] What what would be yours if you feel
[21:01] comfortable sharing?
[21:01] Um mine would be
[21:07] feeling like
[21:10] I'm absolutely okay and
[21:16] in in this in this universe right here
[21:19] right now and despite
[21:22] life because there's always going to be
[21:24] things in life um I can feel calm and
[21:29] peaceful and
[21:32] joyous and loving right here, right now,
[21:36] and actually experience it and actually
[21:38] have it be true. Um,
[21:43] I feel like I tried for that, but
[21:47] I guess
[21:48] But what's the belief that does not
[21:50] believe that?
[21:59] I guess the belief is that
[22:02] I'm a human being and this is a
[22:05] condition that
[22:07] simply exists and that there's no real
[22:10] getting around it no matter
[22:13] no matter what.
[22:15] How would you call that belief
[22:19] if you'd bring it down to its
[22:22] bare bones? this essential raw negative
[22:25] belief.
[22:28] What would it be in one short sentence?
[22:31] I am
[22:39] h that's that's a tricky one.
[22:43] I am lacking or
[22:48] I am not
[22:51] able to be
[22:55] a certain state. That state
[22:58] Yeah. I'm not able.
[22:59] I'm not able. Yeah. That's Yeah. I'm not
[23:02] able.
[23:04] Can you feel that?
[23:09] Yeah. Yeah. I can feel that. Do you fear
[23:11] that it's true?
[23:13] Is there some fear that it would be
[23:15] true?
[23:18] Very much so. Especially when I try to
[23:22] do spiritual work or meditation work
[23:26] [clears throat] and
[23:28] try to alter my belief system of this
[23:31] human condition and maybe see past it
[23:33] and maybe there's this something that
[23:35] I'm not getting. Um, and when I look at
[23:39] it, sometimes I stop and wonder if uh
[23:43] this either isn't isn't true or isn't
[23:46] possible or even if it is,
[23:50] I'm not ever going to figure it out.
[23:52] Other people can do it, but not you.
[23:54] Right.
[23:55] Right. Then, and I don't even
[23:57] necessarily totally believe that other
[23:59] people have
[24:01] actually done it. Maybe they've just
[24:03] been done something like we're doing now
[24:06] and really gotten good at tricking
[24:08] themselves into something that that
[24:10] feels like that.
[24:11] Mhm.
[24:17] Can you say to yourself it is true that
[24:19] I'm not able I'm not able to reach that
[24:21] state. I'm not able in general period.
[24:25] I can definitely say that.
[24:26] Yeah. Would you want to say that like
[24:28] right now sort of as an example?
[24:30] Everybody can join in internally with
[24:33] whatever it is for them.
[24:36] It is true that I am not able
[24:42] to feel that to be that
[24:45] to to be in that state
[24:47] and it's always going to be true that
[24:49] I'm not able.
[24:52] I don't I don't want to say that.
[24:54] I know. And that's that portion of your
[24:57] consciousness which looks through that
[24:59] belief and makes his life into a journey
[25:01] to try to compensate for that and prove
[25:03] it wrong. But it's doing it from the
[25:05] point of view of I'm not able. So it can
[25:07] never it's actually true. It's actually
[25:09] true that you'll never be able to do it
[25:12] from that point of view.
[25:14] So that's why you have to admit
[25:15] completely that you'll never be able to
[25:17] do it.
[25:20] Okay. Well, I I
[25:24] I admit that I'll never be able to do
[25:27] it.
[25:28] Mhm.
[25:29] How does that feel?
[25:37] Ever like ever?
[25:40] [laughter]
[25:44] Not not not just Oh, after after never
[25:46] passes then maybe then. No, ever. Not
[25:49] ever.
[25:51] I want to resist it. I feel like just
[25:53] coming here and sitting down and getting
[25:55] ready to listen to what you're about to
[25:58] say and meditating on that and and um
[26:02] working at that and going easy on myself
[26:05] and that I'm going to gain it, that I'm
[26:08] going to get there. So, I don't want to
[26:09] admit that
[26:11] that's never going to happen. Mhm.
[26:16] So,
[26:17] can you say it again? It's never going
[26:18] to happen.
[26:20] All right. You know, it's um it's never
[26:23] going to happen
[26:35] ever.
[26:38] No matter what you do, no matter how
[26:40] hard you try,
[26:43] it's never going to happen, buddy.
[26:47] You're never going to make the cut.
[26:49] It's for the elite only.
[26:52] And you're not good enough. You're not
[26:54] elite. You know that.
[26:58] I I know that. I But I do clasp on to
[27:02] this idea that I might be like
[27:05] Mhm. You know, you're not. Trust me.
[27:08] [laughter]
[27:12] Okay. All right.
[27:14] I can't tell. You're one of those that
[27:15] are not able to do. [laughter]
[27:19] Oh, I hate that. I don't like that
[27:21] feeling at all. I mean,
[27:24] that is completely aditt admitting
[27:26] defeat like saying, "Well, that voice
[27:28] isn't going to be answered. That itch
[27:30] can't be scratched. Then I'm just going
[27:33] to have to
[27:35] go through life and just kind of get
[27:37] what I can and hopefully it's good
[27:40] enough."
[27:41] You're not even going to be able to do
[27:43] that. [laughter]
[27:45] Whatever alternative concession plan
[27:47] you've made, you're not able to do that.
[27:53] [snorts]
[27:55] There's no escape, buddy. You're not
[27:57] good enough.
[27:59] Can you see that? Can you see that? It's
[28:01] actually true.
[28:06] Those fancy ideas you have, you're never
[28:08] going to make them.
[28:13] It it's hard for me to
[28:16] see that as truth to admit that
[28:19] I'm trying to but I keep wanting to
[28:22] believe in some alternative out some
[28:25] there's an alternative but from the
[28:27] level of that belief it's absolutely
[28:30] true that you're never going to make it
[28:37] and would you rather find the
[28:39] alternative or would you rather try to
[28:41] keep working your way through that
[28:43] believe when you know it's never going
[28:46] to work. Isn't that better to admit
[28:48] defeat now than at the end of your life
[28:50] when you're about to die?
[28:55] Why not free yourself from that strife
[28:59] by admitting defeat? Now,
[29:02] what's so bad about defeat? What's so
[29:04] bad about not being able to do that?
[29:07] What remains?
[29:11] What's wrong with that feeling?
[29:30] I guess admitting that just feels
[29:32] dismal.
[29:33] Feels like
[29:38] Yeah, completely dismal.
[29:40] Can you admit it anyway?
[29:44] I I don't know if I can.
[29:45] Mhm.
[29:47] Do you want to?
[29:49] No. [laughter]
[29:51] Yeah. Why not? Do you have hope?
[29:57] I do have hope.
[29:58] Mhm.
[30:00] For how long have you had hope?
[30:06] It's gotten pretty close to zero at
[30:08] times. Um, but I think I've always had
[30:11] it.
[30:13] So, how many years is that?
[30:18] For as long as I can
[30:21] remember, I suppose.
[30:24] So, with how much of a percentage of
[30:26] your life have you tried to achieve that
[30:29] which you've hoped for?
[30:32] 100% of my life.
[30:35] And if hund 100% of you is not able to
[30:39] do it, then do you think that 100% of
[30:41] you is able to do it 20 years from now?
[30:46] You are not able. See, I'm not lying.
[30:48] I'm not just telling a story.
[30:51] You're not able. Otherwise, you would
[30:53] have already been there.
[30:55] And I've had that feeling before.
[30:57] And it's true.
[30:59] [clears throat]
[31:01] It's actually true.
[31:08] Okay, I can see that. Yes, I'm I am not
[31:11] able. And that's actually true.
[31:14] And it is actually true. Yeah.
[31:18] Take a deep breath.
[31:25] So what?
[31:30] Now what?
[31:33] What's so bad about this? Does anything
[31:35] really change?
[31:39] You've been defeated.
[31:42] It's true that you're never going to
[31:43] make it and now you know it. What's
[31:46] changed?
[31:50] With that
[31:53] acceptance,
[31:55] you can kind of do whatever you want
[31:57] without caring about the consequences of
[32:01] what you do.
[32:02] Mhm.
[32:02] And makes you makes me feel okay. Well,
[32:06] whatever.
[32:08] Mhm.
[32:08] If I truly believe that, which it's a
[32:10] struggle to see it, but
[32:14] that's the first thing that comes up is
[32:16] yeah, okay, then nothing matters.
[32:24] still a little bit scary.
[32:29] Yeah, it's pretty scary.
[32:31] Mhm.
[32:36] You realize though it's absolutely true,
[32:38] right? Like it's actually true.
[32:43] Like there's not not even you know it
[32:45] won't do you any good to build up any
[32:47] hope again ever for this particular
[32:49] point of view.
[32:52] Even the acceptance won't get you there.
[32:54] Even not caring about it won't actually
[32:55] get you there by not caring about it.
[32:57] It's just you're not able to.
[33:05] I feel like I'm gonna have to really sit
[33:07] with that for a while before I can
[33:11] before I can really let myself
[33:14] believe that. [clears throat]
[33:16] It's not so much believing because it's
[33:18] the truth. It's more seeing. Can you see
[33:22] that you've already tried with 100% of
[33:25] your time?
[33:27] And 100% is not going to get better than
[33:30] 100%.
[33:31] So what are you waiting for?
[33:34] You're only waiting. The only thing
[33:36] you're waiting for is not to achieve the
[33:38] thing you think you want. What you're
[33:39] waiting for is for you to admit defeat.
[33:46] You're just waiting for defeat. And that
[33:49] can be postponed as long as you like.
[33:52] If you prefer the state of waiting for
[33:55] defeat,
[33:56] waiting to admit that you're not good
[33:58] enough to make that, that you're not
[34:00] able,
[34:03] the state of waiting for that and
[34:05] planning your entire life toward that.
[34:08] [clears throat] If that's something you
[34:09] enjoy,
[34:11] then you can keep postponing that.
[34:15] If you're sort of fed up with it and you
[34:17] see there's no way out,
[34:21] then why not admit defeat now? Totally.
[34:25] Why not say I'm done with you? It's
[34:27] okay. So what? I'm not going to achieve
[34:30] what I want to achieve. I'm not going to
[34:31] be what I want to be.
[34:38] Well,
[34:40] I suppose
[34:42] it's worth a try.
[34:44] Do you still try it?
[34:45] I'm still trying.
[34:47] Yeah.
[34:51] Yeah, I'm definitely still trying. I
[34:53] can't I can't seem to bring myself down.
[34:55] Do you like it?
[34:56] No, it's very uncomfortable.
[34:59] But it's not as uncomfortable as
[35:01] admitting defeat.
[35:08] I I don't know because I haven't
[35:09] admitted defeat yet. You had you had a
[35:12] glimpse of admitting defeat a few
[35:14] minutes ago when you said, "Yeah, I can
[35:16] see that it's actually true."
[35:19] And was that so bad? Was that worse than
[35:21] the uncomfortability of trying and
[35:23] hoping and knowing in your heart, in
[35:25] your gut that you're not going to be
[35:27] able to?
[35:34] Which one is more uncomfortable?
[35:38] That state of admitting defeat and
[35:40] relaxation and acceptance or the state
[35:43] of striving trying to compensate trying
[35:46] to prove the belief I am not able wrong
[35:49] by achieving the thing you want to be
[35:51] able to be
[35:55] admitting it feels more peaceful.
[35:57] Mhm. [clears throat]
[35:59] Do do you want that?
[36:01] Definitely.
[36:02] Are you sure you want that more than the
[36:05] hope
[36:07] that you are able one day
[36:12] when scientists discover that 101%
[36:15] becomes possible?
[36:19] You see, it's kind of feudile though,
[36:20] right? You see, it's a a kid's fantasy.
[36:25] I do. I do see it. Yes. And you know in
[36:28] your heart, in your gut that from that
[36:31] point of view, it's never going to work.
[36:38] Yes, I suppose I do.
[36:40] So you feel you're not able to. Can you
[36:42] feel that feeling, that raw feeling?
[36:46] Yes.
[36:47] That you're not good enough, that you're
[36:48] not able.
[36:50] And just feel the feeling of it.
[36:52] [clears throat] And don't go into
[36:53] stories and don't run away. Don't try to
[36:55] prove it wrong. Just feel the admittance
[36:57] of the feeling. Just feel the feeling. I
[36:59] feel not good enough. I feel unable.
[37:06] I am not able.
[37:10] And just sort of go through it. Let it
[37:12] be there. Let it be uncomfortable.
[37:18] Keep relaxed breathing and keep looking
[37:20] at it. See that there's an awareness of
[37:22] it. And just keep feeling it. Keep sort
[37:24] of trying to pinpoint where it is. Stick
[37:29] to the feeling, not to the story.
[37:34] Keep feeling the feeling. I am not able.
[37:38] I'm not good enough. I'm a failure
[37:40] already.
[37:44] Just feel that.
[38:51] What are you experiencing?
[39:01] It's a mixture of
[39:04] something like some some amount of
[39:06] peacefulness and still
[39:09] um
[39:11] a lot of effort to keep from resisting
[39:15] allow allowing myself
[39:19] to feel that.
[39:20] Mhm.
[39:20] Feel a lot of resistance.
[39:26] So just take it gradually,
[39:28] [clears throat] gently.
[39:30] And yet
[39:32] if you want it radically, meaning if
[39:35] you're tired and fed up of believing you
[39:38] can achieve something from the belief
[39:40] I'm not worthy.
[39:44] Just see the struggle that that brings
[39:46] in your life. See that the hope for
[39:49] achieving it is actually the belief I
[39:51] cannot achieve it.
[40:00] The hope itself which you are still
[40:02] attached to, the hope itself which you
[40:04] don't want to let go is
[40:08] the belief I'm unable.
[40:17] So while we think we're running away
[40:19] from the idea I'm unable and trying to
[40:21] prove it wrong, we're actually proving
[40:22] it right every moment. We're actually
[40:25] staying true to it. The hope itself is
[40:28] the belief itself.
[40:33] Can you see that?
[40:36] I can. Yeah.
[40:37] And so can you see that from this point
[40:39] of view it's actually true that you're
[40:42] never going to make it because even
[40:43] making it would be the belief I'm not
[40:46] worthy.
[40:56] It's a hard one to hold on to, but I
[40:58] think
[40:58] Mhm.
[40:59] You get an instinctual sense of what I
[41:01] mean that they're all tied together.
[41:04] What seems to be like failure, hope, and
[41:07] success that they're actually one
[41:10] elastic band just pulled into two
[41:12] different directions. But the direction
[41:14] of hope and even maybe possible success
[41:17] is actually
[41:19] just the opposite and therefore is the
[41:22] belief I'm unworthy.
[41:24] Without the foundation of the belief I'm
[41:26] unworthy, there wouldn't be hope and
[41:27] there wouldn't be success.
[41:29] Because what are you successful toward?
[41:32] You're successful to proving wrong that
[41:34] you're unworthy. And so success is based
[41:37] on founded on believing you're unworthy.
[41:40] So you're continuously entertaining the
[41:42] idea you're unworthy.
[41:45] You're not able. Even standing on that
[41:47] mountain top and reaching it, yes, yes,
[41:50] yes, I'm able. You're actually saying
[41:52] I'm unable. I still believe I'm unable.
[41:55] That's why I'm celebrating that I'm able
[41:57] because I still believe I'm unable. And
[41:59] that's why it's not going to last.
[42:02] So it's actually true that you can never
[42:04] win. And it's actually true that you're
[42:07] never going to be able
[42:12] [snorts]
[42:24] Yeah, I can see that.
[42:27] [applause]
[42:28] Yeah. How does [clears throat] it feel?
[42:32] Mixed feelings.
[42:35] Definitely definitely mixed feelings.
[42:38] [snorts]
[42:38] Little sort of like identity crisis. A
[42:41] little bit like oh not sure where to go,
[42:44] what to do.
[42:45] Exactly.
[42:45] Sort of like fragmented pieces of
[42:48] [snorts] uncertainty or confusion
[42:52] perhaps.
[42:55] Definitely a real state of uh
[42:59] insecurity like what now what?
[43:03] Yeah.
[43:08] And now what is the dawning of? So what?
[43:19] [laughter]
[43:29] I I can kind of get it. It feels a
[43:32] little bit like a smirk. All
[43:35] right. So what
[43:52] keep seeing that it's true that
[43:55] achievement is based upon failure
[44:01] that you're no more secure or able or
[44:03] capable
[44:04] or desirable or worthy when you're on
[44:07] that mountain top and you've achieved
[44:08] the thing that proves the belief I'm
[44:10] unworthy wrong
[44:12] because you wouldn't celebrate if you
[44:13] wouldn't still believe you're unworthy.
[44:21] [snorts]
[44:22] You can't win.
[44:26] It's more intelligent than we are.
[44:30] The very journey is based upon it. We're
[44:33] playing by it. We're playing by its
[44:36] rules.
[44:38] Everything within the game of trying to
[44:39] prove the belief I'm unworthy wrong is
[44:42] playing the game of I'm unworthy. It's
[44:45] playing us.
[44:48] We're playing by its laws, its rules. We
[44:50] can never escape that world
[44:53] until we admit defeat.
[44:55] And that is exactly what it wants to
[44:57] hear.
[45:00] It's the only answer it will ever accept
[45:02] before it gives up its game.
[45:05] You are right. I'm not worthy.
[45:10] [sighs]
[45:22] You see there's no escaping.
[45:26] Yeah, I see it.
[45:27] Do Do you like it?
[45:30] Not really.
[45:31] Not really. But do you feel an opening?
[45:37] I I do actually. Yeah, I do feel
[45:42] I feel like there's space beyond that. I
[45:44] don't know what it is, but it's
[45:47] it's uncertain by all means,
[45:48] right?
[45:49] For sure.
[45:50] It's not what you thought it was. It's
[45:52] not what you've prepared yourself for.
[45:53] It's not It's not the game of
[45:55] unworthiness. But that's why it's
[45:57] beautiful because for the first time
[45:58] ever it's not you're not playing by the
[46:01] game anymore by its rule. You're
[46:03] [clears throat] entering a new game.
[46:04] You're entering a new layer of
[46:06] perspective.
[46:11] It's expansion. It's freedom. It is
[46:13] unknown to the mind because it's
[46:15] unfamiliar with it. But it's not unknown
[46:17] to the universe.
[46:18] So it's not actually scary. You don't
[46:20] have to figure out the new rules.
[46:21] They're already there. You're already
[46:24] taken care of even in that level. It's
[46:26] not a new thing. It's known all the
[46:28] time. And beings experience that level
[46:29] of consciousness all the time.
[46:32] So, it's not a new state. And you're not
[46:34] going to encounter any new dinosaurs
[46:36] that you need to fight or things that
[46:38] are uncertain. It's only uncertain to
[46:40] you. But it's not [snorts] uncertain in
[46:42] and of itself. It's totally clear.
[46:45] So, it's safe to go there. It's safe to
[46:47] go into the unknown because it's unknown
[46:49] only to us, not to itself.
[46:53] We are not actually creating
[46:56] that new level of unknownness. We don't
[46:58] have to explore the rules. They are
[47:00] already there. We're just entering that
[47:02] level. So there it's already set. You're
[47:05] safe. You're comforted there. And
[47:07] there's many beings that exist on that
[47:08] level, etc.
[47:11] So the fact that it's unknown is not
[47:13] meaning that it's not safe. That's my
[47:15] point.
[47:18] And a part of your being has always
[47:19] already been on that level.
[47:22] of self-awareness.
[47:25] So it's okay to let that whole rip open
[47:31] rip tear.
[47:33] How do you say that? Yeah. Rip a tear in
[47:35] the veil of
[47:38] that veil between the first level and
[47:40] the second level. We want to see it like
[47:42] that.
[47:43] So that feels like an openness, like an
[47:45] un
[47:47] unknownness.
[47:49] But let it let it happen.
[47:51] Let her rip
[47:56] because she can't win. And you've seen
[47:57] that now. So, it's time to move on. You
[47:59] say bye-bye.
[48:01] Thank you. I see you. You were right all
[48:04] this freaking time.
[48:07] What was I thinking? I was playing by
[48:09] your rules, trying to trying to somehow
[48:11] create a rule in your game with your
[48:14] rules. We're trying to use your rules to
[48:16] create a new rule. It's impossible.
[48:23] I was already game over before I even
[48:25] started.
[48:33] And yes, and you can give yourself all
[48:35] the space you need and all the love and
[48:36] acceptance and alone and restful
[48:38] awareness you need to sort of let your
[48:41] system come to terms with that. The fact
[48:43] that it's letting go of something that
[48:44] it's lived in for so long may be a
[48:48] little bit disorienting at first.
[48:51] And if you don't try to grasp for
[48:53] anything you already know and just sort
[48:55] of the only thing you can grasp for that
[48:57] you already know is that spacious
[48:59] awareness. Grasp for that. If anything,
[49:01] grasp for that beingness, that love,
[49:03] that essence, that freedom that you
[49:05] already know, that stability of
[49:07] awareness.
[49:09] Be only that. Hold on to only that so
[49:11] that you can allow everything else to
[49:12] sort of find its place and trust that
[49:15] that new level is already completely
[49:17] known to your being. You've just haven't
[49:19] seen it in a while.
[49:36] And gradually gradually gradually you'll
[49:39] start to see that [clears throat] it's
[49:41] actually very enjoyable to admit defeat.
[49:46] At first we don't want to admit that
[49:48] it's enjoyable to admit defeat. But
[49:50] we'll admit that too
[49:54] just because it feels so good that we
[49:55] don't care whether it's true or not.
[49:59] Whether that means we're not good enough
[50:01] or not. We just don't care anymore. It's
[50:02] the so what.
[50:07] If you let that now what be that state
[50:10] of confusion and sort of like I'm not
[50:12] sure I want to move on. If you let that
[50:14] now what be there, it will turn into so
[50:16] what?
[50:19] It's bigger brother.
[50:26] In a sense it's the lower self that
[50:28] always asks the higher self what? And
[50:31] the higher self always responds. So what
[51:10] Great job, buddy.
[51:13] Thank you so much.
[51:48] Can you feel the freedom in this?
[51:54] Yeah, I can definitely feel the freedom
[51:56] and and I and I want the freedom in it.
[52:00] My immediate observation is how much
[52:04] it the the previous state wants to pull
[52:07] me back into it in into it
[52:11] and I kind of just have to sit here and
[52:12] be like whatever.
[52:16] It can only pull you in if you believe
[52:18] you're going to win again. No game is
[52:20] appealing if you know you cannot beat
[52:22] the game
[52:27] and it has no power over you if you
[52:29] don't want to play it.
[52:33] So the question is not does the previous
[52:35] reality want you back because yes it
[52:37] wants as much fuel as it can get
[52:40] but it doesn't really have a will of its
[52:42] own. It's not like the game has a will
[52:44] of its own that's sucking you back.
[52:47] The question is, do I want to play?
[52:55] And if you admit the feed, then you'll
[52:57] see it's not so bad because it means
[52:58] you're free.
[53:00] And isn't that what you really wanted?
[53:08] You don't want a predetermined result
[53:09] within the game that makes you believe
[53:12] for a little while that you've beaten
[53:13] the game. Well, that's impossible.
[53:18] It will always smack you down again. It
[53:20] will always win.
[53:26] That's a good thing
[53:28] cuz it allows us to see that
[53:32] we don't have to be interested in
[53:33] playing that game.
[53:42] That level of belief is always right.
[53:46] Period.
[53:47] You cannot be in this level of belief
[53:50] and prove it wrong. It's impossible.
[53:53] You can only move on and see things from
[53:56] a different point of view. And then
[53:58] these are still true from their own
[54:00] point of view. But you won't be
[54:01] experiencing these points of view.
[54:03] You'll be experiencing these points of
[54:05] view which will not even see the things
[54:08] that that game played. You'll play an
[54:10] entirely different game. a game that
[54:12] resonates for you, that makes you feel
[54:14] free, like you're already a success. But
[54:16] you won't be terminate terming it like
[54:19] that because there's no failure on that
[54:22] higher level, even one higher level,
[54:24] there's already no failure.
[54:28] And beyond that, and beyond that, but
[54:30] even one level up, even just saying,
[54:33] "I'm done playing you. I'm done playing
[54:34] this game." Already on that very next
[54:37] level, there's no failure.
[54:41] And it only gets better and better.
[54:53] So it's not so bad after all to admit
[54:55] defeat. Actually, it is. Meaning that
[54:57] you beat the game. The only way to beat
[54:59] the game is to admit defeat.
[55:02] Now you can smile and say, "You're
[55:05] right. You're absolutely right. Belief.
[55:08] You're absolutely right. I'm unable
[55:11] and I'm okay with that. Thank you. Then
[55:14] you're no longer playing the game.
[55:19] So even a game that's unbeatable and
[55:21] that seems very selfish, it just always
[55:23] wins is actually benevolent because the
[55:27] way to beat it is to actually transcend
[55:30] yourself.
[55:32] So it prize is the ultimate one. It's a
[55:34] very tough
[55:36] It's a very tough level,
[55:38] but it's worth the toughness. You see,
[55:40] that's why it's so tough. That's why
[55:41] it's unbeatable. That's why it's
[55:43] completely unsympathetic. That's why it
[55:45] never lets you win. Because you need to
[55:48] realize the only way to win
[55:51] is to press that off button to see that
[55:54] you can't win the game and to let go of
[55:56] your attachment to it.
[56:03] [clears throat]
[56:03] M
[56:04] and you'll still have all the people in
[56:06] your life that you love. You'll still
[56:07] have all the activities in your life
[56:08] that you love, but you won't be doing
[56:10] them anymore to prove something wrong.
[56:12] So now the playing field is as it was,
[56:15] but it's completely open
[56:17] for a new perspective, a new light, a
[56:19] new frequency.
[56:23] You still have all the things you love.
[56:25] The only thing you're going to miss is
[56:27] the thing you hate.
[56:29] What's not to love about that?
[56:32] You thought you were so in love with
[56:34] your hatred that you thought you were in
[56:36] love with it,
[56:39] but really you don't like it at all.
[56:40] It's not of your resonance. It's not of
[56:42] your frequency.
[56:44] You're ready for something new, for the
[56:46] adventure without the baggage,
[56:49] without the trying to
[56:53] compensate.
[56:55] Let's stop trying to compensate.
[56:57] Whenever you feel you're trying to
[56:59] compensate, admit defeat right there and
[57:01] then. I won't I won't make it.
[57:06] And sit in that until you feel the
[57:08] freedom of it. Till you feel the sigh of
[57:10] relief. Till you feel that you're no
[57:12] longer interested in playing the game.
[57:15] And then everything still is as it is,
[57:17] but [clears throat] from an entirely
[57:18] different energetic point of view. One
[57:21] that you love much, much more. One
[57:23] that's more beneficial.
[57:29] Um, can I ask a question?
[57:31] Yeah, for sure. Thank you so much. I
[57:33] appreciate it.
[57:40] I'm trying to differentiate. I'm trying
[57:42] to get clear. I I get I love this. Very
[57:48] freeing and helpful.
[57:50] And then the question that confusion
[57:54] that comes in is
[57:58] You know,
[58:00] it's possible to to just be
[58:02] irresponsible to just not try
[58:06] about something in a way that's
[58:07] unhealthy. Like
[58:10] let
[58:13] you know anything that makes you feel
[58:16] freer, more unloaded, unburdened by
[58:18] definition is healthy. Even if it means
[58:21] suddenly starting to eat unhealthy or
[58:23] indulge or whatever it is, if it feels
[58:28] [sighs] unbburdened and you feel
[58:29] inwardly more healthy, then whatever act
[58:32] follows for a while is the more healthy
[58:34] act to take. Even if it doesn't compute
[58:37] with anything we've been taught.
[58:39] Okay? So giving up
[58:41] doesn't mean you give up your integrity
[58:42] toward other beings, but you give up
[58:45] your ideas about what's healthy and
[58:46] what's not.
[58:49] And you start to really listen to what
[58:51] makes you feel freer and more excited
[58:53] and more joyous and more in your own
[58:54] harmony.
[58:56] And whatever that is, accept
[58:59] the physical consequences or your diet
[59:01] or whatever you're referring to as long
[59:03] as it maintains that integrity.
[59:10] That's all good.
[59:12] But please go in if you want.
[59:14] Well, I think that the ego still gets
[59:16] trapped in here because it's
[59:18] You mean you?
[59:19] Yes. Cuz it's like um
[59:25] finding a way to make that a confusing
[59:28] problem
[59:30] because um
[59:33] you know so I'm a failure.
[59:36] That's one for me. [clears throat]
[59:40] Um
[59:44] well, but that doesn't mean it's a good
[59:46] idea for me to
[59:49] just not make an effort toward a career.
[59:53] [clears throat]
[59:54] [laughter]
[59:54] May very well be exactly the best choice
[59:57] to make.
[59:58] But it doesn't mean it's a good idea for
[1:00:00] me to not take responsibility for my
[1:00:03] producing my own means in life. You know
[1:00:05] what I mean, right? I mean,
[1:00:08] what does what does responsibility mean
[1:00:10] to you? [clears throat]
[1:00:15] I just I guess the trap I just want to
[1:00:18] make sure that I don't use it as a trap.
[1:00:20] Sure. The the trap has been that every
[1:00:23] something reaching perfection in some
[1:00:25] way is so much effort that I can't take
[1:00:29] the pressure and I throw my hands up and
[1:00:32] give up in order to escape from the
[1:00:35] impossible pressure of the trap that I
[1:00:37] put myself in.
[1:00:38] Sounds good.
[1:00:39] And then I lose my job or something.
[1:00:42] Sounds good.
[1:00:43] You know, or I do something really
[1:00:46] stupid and
[1:00:46] so far so good. Cuz
[1:00:54] who who would care except that portion
[1:00:56] of your consciousness which is looking
[1:00:58] through the belief I'm a failure?
[1:01:02] Who cares about not being responsible?
[1:01:04] Who cares about losing their job? Who
[1:01:06] cares enough being able to maintain your
[1:01:08] own life?
[1:01:08] Feels a little scary. I know it's scary
[1:01:11] to that portion of your consciousness
[1:01:12] which still believes from the belief I'm
[1:01:14] a failure that it can win that it can
[1:01:16] beat the game from within the game.
[1:01:21] That's why it's scary. So what you're
[1:01:22] feeling is the remnants of that that
[1:01:25] portion of your consciousness which is
[1:01:26] looking through that belief. That's what
[1:01:27] you're feeling right now. That's what
[1:01:29] you're observing.
[1:01:31] You're not actually observing the whole
[1:01:32] extent of your life or the entire extent
[1:01:34] of your consciousness. You're just
[1:01:36] observing that portion which is now
[1:01:37] triggered which sees through the belief
[1:01:40] of I'm a failure
[1:01:46] and that's the part of you that now
[1:01:47] fears that it's going to be
[1:01:49] irresponsible or that fears it will use
[1:01:51] it as a trap
[1:01:53] and similarly that's often the portion
[1:01:54] of our consciousness that's afraid of
[1:01:56] spiritual bypassing. No, I need to
[1:01:58] suffer. I need to keep suffering until
[1:02:00] I've suffered everything out of my
[1:02:02] system.
[1:02:04] Why? Because if I don't, I'm a failure.
[1:02:06] If I don't, I bypass. If I don't, I'm
[1:02:08] not responsible. It's that portion of
[1:02:10] your consciousness which loves
[1:02:14] to torture itself.
[1:02:16] [laughter]
[1:02:21] In the name of God, of course.
[1:02:27] [laughter]
[1:02:30] What's what's crazy? What's crazy to
[1:02:33] that portion of your consciousness is
[1:02:35] actually the right choice to make from
[1:02:37] the other 99% of your consciousness in
[1:02:40] order to become whole again. In order
[1:02:43] for that portion of your consciousness
[1:02:44] to withdraw back into its whole
[1:02:46] beingness, it source its essence.
[1:02:50] From that point of view, you may need to
[1:02:52] do a little crazy stuff sometimes.
[1:02:54] Sometimes a little bit crazy out of the
[1:02:56] norm because the norm is when you feel
[1:02:58] you're crossing the norm. From that
[1:03:01] point of view, you're actually
[1:03:03] skipping out of the game. You're jumping
[1:03:05] out of the game's law, its zone of laws.
[1:03:08] That's why it's scary. That's why it
[1:03:10] feels irresponsible.
[1:03:12] As long as it's not sacrificing your
[1:03:16] integrity, your heart level integrity
[1:03:18] toward other beings, as long as it
[1:03:20] doesn't take away people's free will,
[1:03:23] you're all good. And as long of course
[1:03:25] as you don't you know whatever that
[1:03:28] common what you would know as integrity
[1:03:30] and respect and loving thy neighbor as
[1:03:33] thyself. As long as it doesn't sacrifice
[1:03:35] that
[1:03:37] do anything you like lose anything you
[1:03:39] like.
[1:03:44] I just see this escapism thing that I
[1:03:47] want to do be like
[1:03:50] I don't even play this game anymore. I'm
[1:03:52] just going to take a vacation from this
[1:03:54] whole [laughter] game.
[1:03:56] But then
[1:03:56] why vacation? That means you have to get
[1:03:58] back.
[1:03:58] Sometimes I [laughter]
[1:04:04] Well, but sometimes that can be um just
[1:04:07] stepping off into dysfunction
[1:04:11] which is scary to what to whom
[1:04:14] is it wrong? Has the universe
[1:04:16] end up depending on someone else. So
[1:04:17] then I'm going to be hurting someone
[1:04:19] else. I'm going to be not carrying my
[1:04:21] own weight.
[1:04:22] Has a tree
[1:04:22] where someone else has to.
[1:04:23] Has a tree ever judged that.
[1:04:28] I'm living with my parents, [laughter]
[1:04:32] you know.
[1:04:33] Do your parents have plants in the
[1:04:34] house?
[1:04:35] I need to eventually not live with them.
[1:04:37] This is supposed to be temporary. Not
[1:04:40] not just extremely excruciatingly
[1:04:42] uncomfortable for me, but also
[1:04:44] [laughter]
[1:04:45] not supposed to be longterm for them. So
[1:04:48] let me get this right from the point of
[1:04:50] view of wanting to be responsible and
[1:04:52] trying it trying it trying it you're
[1:04:54] living with your parents right
[1:04:57] it's as a
[1:04:59] from that perspective has it been
[1:05:01] prevalent in your life in the past so
[1:05:03] many years or
[1:05:04] well living with my parents was
[1:05:05] accepting defeat to a degree and was
[1:05:07] letting go of some stuff I did not want
[1:05:09] to
[1:05:10] but it was like well this will take some
[1:05:13] pressure off and and I can it's okay
[1:05:16] my
[1:05:18] Well, I'm not a failure. [laughter]
[1:05:21] My point being that from your allegiance
[1:05:24] to that, what you call what that portion
[1:05:26] of your consciousness calls
[1:05:27] responsibility, from your allegiance to
[1:05:30] that, you still live with your parents.
[1:05:33] So, apparently it doesn't
[1:05:34] [clears throat] work.
[1:05:39] You can't win the game. That's the
[1:05:41] point. all this there's that thing of
[1:05:43] it's just taking all this time and it's
[1:05:45] okay and it's the process and isn't
[1:05:49] finished working yet.
[1:05:52] My other point being that if you
[1:05:54] wouldn't have that allegiance to being
[1:05:56] responsible and taking care of yourself,
[1:05:58] if you wouldn't have that fear, which is
[1:06:00] tied in with the fear of failing at it,
[1:06:02] you wouldn't live with your parents
[1:06:04] right now
[1:06:06] because you'd be successful because you
[1:06:08] wouldn't worry about being a failure.
[1:06:11] So, you would make your own means by not
[1:06:13] trying to make your own means because
[1:06:16] you wouldn't feel responsible. You
[1:06:17] wouldn't be afraid of being a failure.
[1:06:18] Therefore, you wouldn't play the game of
[1:06:20] failure which you're meant to fail at.
[1:06:23] You see? So, when you subscribe to these
[1:06:26] ideas of responsibility that are based
[1:06:28] in the belief or in the idea I need to
[1:06:31] make my own means, I need to take care
[1:06:34] of myself, make sure that I can sustain
[1:06:37] my own life.
[1:06:39] That is induced with the fear of
[1:06:43] I'm not able to do that. I'm a failure.
[1:06:46] And like I said and like we explored,
[1:06:48] you can't win. So if the belief
[1:06:51] underlying your idea of responsibility
[1:06:53] is I'm afraid to fail and you're
[1:06:58] choosing to play that game and subscribe
[1:06:59] to these rules, guess what's going to
[1:07:01] happen? Since you can't win, what's
[1:07:03] going to happen?
[1:07:05] You're going to fail.
[1:07:05] You're going to fail. And you're living
[1:07:07] with your parents, right?
[1:07:08] I already failed.
[1:07:09] Isn't that a failure to your [laughter]
[1:07:11] Yes.
[1:07:11] Isn't it game over already?
[1:07:13] 37 years old living with Yes. It's a
[1:07:15] failure. There you go. Game over. It's a
[1:07:17] failure to that belief. So, admit it.
[1:07:19] Say, "You were totally right. I'm so
[1:07:21] sorry, believe, for ever trying to
[1:07:23] challenge it.
[1:07:25] You're absolutely right from the get-
[1:07:26] go. You were right. I was not able to do
[1:07:28] this. I'm a failure when it comes to
[1:07:31] taking care of myself.
[1:07:33] It's totally true. It will never not be
[1:07:35] true.
[1:07:38] I think I'm seeing it from more than one
[1:07:40] point of view at the same time. And
[1:07:42] that's where the confusion about
[1:07:43] responsibility because I also do see
[1:07:45] responsibility in a proper life. It's
[1:07:47] not attached to being a failure. So I'm
[1:07:49] seeing both at once and then I'm trying
[1:07:51] to use the same word for them.
[1:07:53] They're not the same. Exactly. Well,
[1:07:54] that's very good that you see that. So
[1:07:56] make a distinction there for yourself.
[1:07:58] Make a very clear distinction. What is
[1:07:59] true heartfelt responsibility
[1:08:02] and what is not.
[1:08:04] Thank you.
[1:08:21] How you doing?
[1:08:25] It's hard.
[1:08:26] It's hard.
[1:08:27] It's difficult.
[1:08:28] Mhm.
[1:08:30] What part is difficult?
[1:08:35] Staying staying with
[1:08:38] Staying with it.
[1:08:41] With what exactly?
[1:08:45] With with completely
[1:08:49] being defeated. [clears throat]
[1:08:51] And
[1:08:56] why is it difficult?
[1:08:57] I don't I'm not really exactly sure.
[1:08:59] Mhm.
[1:09:11] Uh I've been experienced something
[1:09:13] experiencing something similar to this
[1:09:16] lately in my life and um I find it
[1:09:20] difficult as well.
[1:09:21] Mhm. And um
[1:09:25] I find it difficult because
[1:09:27] with the acceptance
[1:09:30] comes an emptiness
[1:09:33] and the the emptiness
[1:09:37] is
[1:09:43] it's not that it's frightening. It's
[1:09:44] that it's that
[1:09:49] I'm unconsciously constantly trying to
[1:09:53] fill that emptiness in with something.
[1:09:54] So once I feel the emptiness of
[1:09:58] accepting defeat, then I feel an
[1:10:00] emptiness. It's a freedom. But then
[1:10:06] I want to
[1:10:08] put some emotion onto it. It should be
[1:10:12] there's this emptiness. I must be
[1:10:15] sad about something or
[1:10:19] there's a constant sort of need to fill
[1:10:22] with a gap that gets created once I
[1:10:26] begin to accept
[1:10:28] defeat fill it in with with anything.
[1:10:31] Mhm.
[1:10:32] So that's what I find
[1:10:34] difficult.
[1:10:35] Mhm.
[1:10:38] So how do you
[1:10:40] how do you approach that? Guess
[1:10:51] just kind of a a monitoring keeping
[1:10:54] trying to keep realizing that when I'm
[1:10:58] trying to fill it in
[1:10:59] that I don't have to do that.
[1:11:02] Nice.
[1:11:02] Then I just have to do that over and
[1:11:04] over again. I'm going to keep trying.
[1:11:05] Sure. Yeah,
[1:11:07] sounds good. Just those short moments of
[1:11:10] remembrance.
[1:11:11] Would
[1:11:17] that work for you? Something similar
[1:11:20] just to not like try to maybe like turn
[1:11:24] it into a big thing right now like
[1:11:26] maintaining something but rather okay
[1:11:28] I've seen this and that's great. I've
[1:11:30] just seen this. And now just let it sort
[1:11:32] of take its course. But take those short
[1:11:35] moments throughout the day of just
[1:11:37] stopping to recognize your lightness,
[1:11:39] your beingness, and seeing whenever
[1:11:41] you're trying to get back in the game,
[1:11:44] just noticing it. And then with your
[1:11:46] present understanding, you're already up
[1:11:47] a level whether you understand it or
[1:11:49] not. You can't change that anymore.
[1:11:50] You're already with at least one foot
[1:11:53] out of the game, which means the other
[1:11:54] foot has to follow. So that's just a
[1:11:57] matter of time. So you're already there.
[1:12:00] because you've seen it, you've realized
[1:12:02] it. So with that, with your frequency
[1:12:05] already being higher, even though it may
[1:12:06] not always feel like that because the
[1:12:08] old stuff can still look the same, but
[1:12:11] already being of a higher frequency, if
[1:12:13] you remember and recognize it the moment
[1:12:15] you're trying to play the game again,
[1:12:18] recognizing that from what's now already
[1:12:20] your natural frequency, which you cannot
[1:12:23] do anything about,
[1:12:25] it will transform. you will ah it will
[1:12:27] relax more and more already because
[1:12:30] you're doing you're applying the same
[1:12:31] recognition but now you're applying it
[1:12:33] from a higher level does that make sense
[1:12:36] so just catching yourself not in a
[1:12:38] negative way like oh I caught you but
[1:12:39] like just catching it you know like ah I
[1:12:42] see it and just again and again and
[1:12:45] again very gently and it will naturally
[1:12:47] alleviate those sort of
[1:12:50] post-traumatic symptoms.
[1:12:58] Yeah, I can I can see that.
[1:13:00] So, you take it light on yourself. You
[1:13:02] don't apply the same energy of trying
[1:13:06] and achieving and needing to do it well
[1:13:08] to this. You just do the opposite. You
[1:13:10] just let it go. You relax. You give
[1:13:12] yourself permission to relax, enjoy
[1:13:14] yourself, be gentle, and appreciate the
[1:13:17] fact that you've already seen what
[1:13:18] you've saw today. And then with that
[1:13:21] lightness, you just
[1:13:23] recognize it whenever you feel a little
[1:13:25] bit like a little bit waning, a little
[1:13:28] bit uncomfortable trying something and
[1:13:31] you just recognize the fact that you're
[1:13:34] trying to play the game of compensating
[1:13:37] for I'm worthy. See it. See that there
[1:13:39] is no end to it.
[1:13:41] [sighs]
[1:13:42] And you will naturally increase your
[1:13:44] frequency to the extent where you will
[1:13:47] no longer have any curiosity for this
[1:13:49] level. At which point it will never
[1:13:51] appear to you. Not in that way. New
[1:13:54] things will appear to you. Does that
[1:13:56] make sense?
[1:13:57] Yeah, it does. And that feels pretty
[1:13:58] good.
[1:13:59] Okay, great.
[1:14:00] Yeah.
[1:14:00] Yeah. So, don't get down on yourself now
[1:14:02] with this. Just like ah blow it wide
[1:14:03] open and let it naturally unfold and
[1:14:05] know that there's no way back. So, just
[1:14:08] take it easy and lighten lighten
[1:14:10] yourself as much as you can. Give
[1:14:13] yourself that gentleness and that you've
[1:14:15] done the hard work. You've been honest
[1:14:16] and retical. Now it's time to be gentle.
[1:14:20] There's a time for radicalness and
[1:14:22] gentleness.
[1:14:24] Sometimes it's hard to tell which one,
[1:14:26] but you've break you've broken out of
[1:14:29] that shell. So that means you've had the
[1:14:31] courage. You've gathered the courage and
[1:14:32] the directness, the radicalness to
[1:14:34] transcend to a different level. And now
[1:14:36] it's just the cleanup surface coming
[1:14:38] along. And that is what sort of needs
[1:14:40] your gentleness and your
[1:14:41] light-heartedness and your joyousness.
[1:14:44] You've went deep and now
[1:14:48] can be gentle with yourself.
[1:14:50] Make sense?
[1:14:50] Yeah, it does.
[1:14:51] Okay, perfect. Feel better?
[1:14:53] It's very pleasant. Yeah.
[1:14:54] Okay. Nice.
[1:14:58] Thank you as well for your offering and
[1:15:00] sharing that. Did I see anything?
[1:15:02] Yeah. I was wondering if you could be
[1:15:04] finding yourself doing the same
[1:15:06] behaviors but with different motives
[1:15:08] motivation behind it.
[1:15:10] Yeah, for sure. Definitely.
[1:15:14] All that matters really is the
[1:15:18] how you feel about it. Like what your
[1:15:20] state of being is while you're doing it.
[1:15:22] Cuz I was thinking about, you know,
[1:15:24] trying to get more independent and get
[1:15:26] out on your own. And
[1:15:28] maybe if you were doing that
[1:15:33] because another different level of
[1:15:35] consciousness or whatever to yourself
[1:15:38] was what was pushing you or motivating
[1:15:41] you to do it. it would feel a lot
[1:15:44] better.
[1:15:45] Mhm.
[1:15:46] And I'm not sure if that's got anything
[1:15:48] to do with admitting defeat or not.
[1:15:59] And I'm not really sure if this defeat
[1:16:02] kind of comes in levels. Could it come
[1:16:04] in levels and kind of waves and stages?
[1:16:07] [clears throat] Sure.
[1:16:07] As opposed to a sudden
[1:16:09] Sure. Yeah.
[1:16:12] And you can ask yourself the question,
[1:16:13] why do I want to be independent?
[1:16:17] What may that be compensation for?
[1:16:20] Because if on
[1:16:23] at the root if at the root of that
[1:16:26] movement to be independent, the desire
[1:16:28] to be independent is a belief that
[1:16:31] you're not or a belief that you're
[1:16:33] failing at something or a belief that if
[1:16:35] you're not independent, then it means
[1:16:37] you're not your own woman or you can't
[1:16:39] take care of yourself or whatever it may
[1:16:40] be.
[1:16:42] If such a belief is at the bottom of it,
[1:16:44] at the root of it, then know that even
[1:16:46] going the way of independence will end
[1:16:49] up as that failure belief thinks it will
[1:16:52] end up cuz there is no escaping that
[1:16:54] game. So it all depends on what the root
[1:16:57] idea is from which you make an act or
[1:17:00] desire something.
[1:17:02] So in that sense, you can admit defeat
[1:17:04] by admitting that you'll never be
[1:17:05] independent.
[1:17:07] And how does that feel?
[1:17:10] You'll never be independent no matter
[1:17:11] how hard you try. It will only be in
[1:17:13] confirmation that you're not
[1:17:14] independent, that you cannot take care
[1:17:16] of yourself, that you're not your own
[1:17:17] woman or whatever it is. I'm just
[1:17:19] filling in, but it may not be the same
[1:17:21] for you.
[1:17:22] And just feel those core beliefs coming
[1:17:25] up then. And as they come up, you see
[1:17:28] that they're unbeatable. They're true.
[1:17:30] They're always true from their own
[1:17:31] perspective. And they always confirm
[1:17:33] themselves. No matter how hard we play
[1:17:35] the game, they'll always win. to see
[1:17:38] that relaxes the need to be independent
[1:17:40] and thus you'll be independent. You'll
[1:17:42] be independent even from your need to be
[1:17:44] independent.
[1:17:49] So the true success again is to admit
[1:17:51] failure on that level which is keeping
[1:17:54] you trying to search for something. Does
[1:17:58] that make sense?
[1:17:59] I'm wondering what the next level is.
[1:18:02] Oh, you got there.
[1:18:04] Okay.
[1:18:06] The challenges get more
[1:18:11] multiaceted at the same time
[1:18:16] [snorts]
[1:18:17] but less of a
[1:18:22] [snorts]
[1:18:26] I don't know more natural part of your
[1:18:28] being. You'll be it'll be playful. That
[1:18:31] makes sense.
[1:18:38] and they're only as challenging or as
[1:18:40] struggling as you want them to be
[1:18:44] as is the case with this too. But again,
[1:18:46] to take that light-hearted attitude with
[1:18:48] you also in the next levels to just
[1:18:51] maintain that light-hearted attitude
[1:18:54] where you're not trying to battle your
[1:18:56] ideas and your thoughts. You see,
[1:18:58] they're always true from their own point
[1:18:59] of view. But that really don't have they
[1:19:02] don't have any control. If you're not
[1:19:03] playing, if you're not trying to
[1:19:05] compensate for them, if you're not
[1:19:07] trying to prove them wrong,
[1:19:10] they leave you alone. Or rather, your
[1:19:12] energy will leave them alone because
[1:19:14] there won't be any interest in proving
[1:19:16] that it's not true. It's only
[1:19:18] interesting to fill your life up with
[1:19:20] trying to prove you are worthy if you
[1:19:22] believe you're not. If you don't believe
[1:19:24] the belief, you can say it's true. If
[1:19:26] you can't say it's true because that
[1:19:28] feels like you need to defend it, it
[1:19:30] means you're believing in it. If you can
[1:19:32] wholeheartedly say you are true, believe
[1:19:36] I am not worthy. If you can really say
[1:19:38] that
[1:19:40] and feel free in it, then you're not
[1:19:42] believing in that idea anymore. That's
[1:19:45] sort of like the test in a sense. If you
[1:19:47] can say that it's true, if you can admit
[1:19:49] that it's true, anything that you're
[1:19:53] stupid, that you're ugly, that you're
[1:19:55] I'm not talking about you, just in
[1:19:56] general. Just so selfish. [laughter]
[1:19:59] Selfish is a good one.
[1:20:01] Okay. Yeah. You're selfish, you're
[1:20:02] whatever it is. whatever you
[1:20:05] [clears throat] believe and whatever you
[1:20:06] have been trying to compensate for. If
[1:20:08] you are able to admit that that's true
[1:20:11] [sighs] and sit with it until the sigh
[1:20:13] of relaxation comes in, the sigh of
[1:20:15] relief,
[1:20:16] that sigh of relief signifies that you
[1:20:18] no longer believe in the thought and
[1:20:20] you've transcended into a higher
[1:20:22] vibration of consciousness.
[1:20:25] That make sense?
[1:20:27] Does that help you practically a little
[1:20:28] bit more?
[1:20:29] I I think so.
[1:20:30] Okay. It's just an exploring and sort of
[1:20:34] getting the hang of it of seeing it and
[1:20:37] playing with it. But once you do it one
[1:20:39] or two times and you get to that sigh of
[1:20:43] relief, it becomes easier and easier and
[1:20:45] more and more obvious.
[1:20:49] Thank you.
[1:20:59] Time flies when you're having fun.
[1:21:23] If you admit you're not worthy, you can
[1:21:26] experience
[1:21:28] that it's true and that it's absolutely
[1:21:31] never possibly ever true.
[1:21:35] But you can't experience that it's not
[1:21:36] true that you're unworthy. You can't
[1:21:38] experience that you're truly worthy if
[1:21:41] you believe you need to prove it
[1:21:45] because you can only prove it to the
[1:21:46] belief that you're not worthy. And so
[1:21:48] you're playing its game and you're
[1:21:50] playing by its rules and you'll always
[1:21:51] find defeat. That's the purpose of the
[1:21:53] game to not be beatable. so that you
[1:21:57] transcend instead of
[1:22:01] think you are something or somebody.
[1:22:06] [clears throat]
[1:22:08] So the secret is that you are absolutely
[1:22:10] worthy. That's why in the first place
[1:22:11] you feel a nurse to prove the belief I'm
[1:22:14] unworthy wrong. It's because from a
[1:22:16] deeper level you know you are absolutely
[1:22:19] worthy beyond measure.
[1:22:23] That's why you're trying to fight the
[1:22:25] game. If you didn't have that urge, that
[1:22:26] inkling, that intuition, you wouldn't
[1:22:28] try to compensate for it. You would just
[1:22:30] accept it. Oh yeah, I can say I'm
[1:22:32] worthy. You'd be a zombie all your life.
[1:22:35] But no, you're trying to compensate.
[1:22:36] You're striving because you know on a
[1:22:39] gut level that you are worthy. That's in
[1:22:41] touch with the all that isness,
[1:22:45] life. And from that place, there is
[1:22:47] nothing but ecstasy and worth because
[1:22:49] you are all that is.
[1:22:53] You're the desire of the one. You are
[1:22:55] the desire of the one.
[1:22:58] You are the one's desire.
[1:23:02] So there's nothing but worth.
[1:23:06] You can only feel this if you stop
[1:23:08] playing the game of I'm not worthy.
[1:23:12] Then that light can shine through, can
[1:23:15] open up to you,
[1:23:17] and that sigh of relief can come in.
[1:23:20] [sighs]
[1:23:20] Because really, seeing that it's
[1:23:22] absolutely true you're not worthy is the
[1:23:24] same as seeing that it's absolutely
[1:23:26] untrue that you're not worthy.
[1:23:29] [snorts]
[1:23:32] Does that make sense?
[1:23:36] So, play with that
[1:23:39] and see what happens.
[1:23:42] Don't care about what happens but enjoy
[1:23:45] the bliss that comes in.
[1:23:52] Okay. One minute of just
[1:23:55] basking in our worthiness, our other
[1:23:58] worldly worthiness.
[1:24:02] That which is not a thought, not an
[1:24:04] idea, but simply the fact that you are,
[1:24:06] the fact that you exist.
[1:24:09] The fact that you're not a mistake.
[1:24:13] There are no mistakes.
[1:24:15] That includes you. It's not that
[1:24:18] everything else is not a mistake, but
[1:24:20] me. Nope. You two are not a mistake.
[1:24:25] [laughter]
[1:24:31] Yes, you do.
[1:24:35] And you and you and you and you
[1:24:42] and me.
[1:25:00] You are born out of worthiness, out of
[1:25:02] ecstasy,
[1:25:04] beyond worthiness.
[1:25:07] You are obviousness.
[1:25:10] So obvious that you exist that the idea
[1:25:13] or question of worthiness doesn't even
[1:25:15] appear.
[1:25:17] It doesn't have to appear.
[1:25:21] It's a low vibratory game we play.
[1:25:25] And that too is worthy of being played.
[1:25:29] That too is born out of existence.
[1:25:34] Inseparable from existence.
[1:25:42] Rest in your natural nature. Allow that
[1:25:44] awareness of beingness, of self, of here
[1:25:48] to just naturally just be here.
[1:25:52] ah [sighs]
[1:25:56] completely uncontrived just aware of
[1:25:58] being
[1:26:01] of existing
[1:26:04] of your sense of self wherever whatever
[1:26:09] level that may be at just to allow an
[1:26:11] awareness to descend upon you an
[1:26:12] awareness of self an awareness of I am
[1:26:15] an awareness of existence
[1:26:18] regardless of what the vibratory state
[1:26:20] of that sense of self may be doesn't
[1:26:22] matter
[1:26:22] Allow that awareness to descend in a
[1:26:25] sense to reflect back upon the sense of
[1:26:27] self, the sense of being.
[1:26:30] Just effortlessly allow that awareness
[1:26:32] to be there.
[1:26:34] See that it's already effortlessly here.
[1:26:45] Therein lies your infinite beyond
[1:26:47] worthiness.
[1:26:53] And it will become more and more obvious
[1:27:01] every time you expose, admit,
[1:27:04] and transcend these ideas.
[1:27:07] Expose them. Admit that they're
[1:27:09] absolutely true from their own level and
[1:27:11] they're absolutely unbeatable.
[1:27:16] Admit that until you feel an acceptance
[1:27:18] of it. And simultaneously with the
[1:27:20] acceptance of it, you'll feel a light
[1:27:22] shine from behind. As if from behind, as
[1:27:25] if a back door opens, allowing a greater
[1:27:27] degree of light, a greater degree of
[1:27:29] bliss, a greater degree of freedom to
[1:27:31] shine through. Because you've stopped
[1:27:33] playing the game the moment you admit
[1:27:35] it's true until the point of the sigh of
[1:27:38] relief.
[1:27:43] That is acceptance. The state of
[1:27:45] acceptance. Experiencing the state of
[1:27:47] acceptance.
[1:27:56] Admit it until you accept it. When you
[1:27:59] accept it, there is light,
[1:28:02] there's truth,
[1:28:04] there's expansion.
[1:28:11] Thank you very much.
[1:28:14] Have a great evening or night.