Transcript
[0:00] Thank you. [laughter]
[0:02] Nice to uh [clears throat] be here. So
[0:06] uh maybe we will start as usual with the
[0:10] these kinds of sessions with a bit of
[0:13] meditation.
[0:15] So um
[0:18] today I would like to just uh encourage
[0:20] you to first of all sit in a way that is
[0:25] comfortable.
[0:28] um
[0:30] and keeping our upper body upright
[0:35] so as to just give ourself the an
[0:39] indication for staying alert
[0:43] even though it is kind of Sunday morning
[0:46] for maybe most of you still even then
[0:50] sometimes we can still be bit tired
[0:55] um or whatever and then when we try to
[0:58] relax. Sometimes we still fall asleep,
[1:02] but this is kind of the better time. Not
[1:04] like a weekday evening when we try to
[1:08] meditate. It's easier to fall asleep.
[1:10] But it's good habit to always remember
[1:14] that the time of meditation is a time
[1:18] to encourage our mind to stay alert
[1:23] as much as it can. It may not be super
[1:26] alert but it is not the time to
[1:30] completely let go of our awareness.
[1:33] This is really important. We forget
[1:35] sometimes because most of my
[1:38] instructions is about relaxing.
[1:42] So we want to allow our body and mind to
[1:47] relax.
[1:49] But at at the same time we have clear
[1:51] instructions.
[1:53] for wanting to be here to enjoy that
[1:57] process of relaxation.
[2:02] And there are few kind of mind states
[2:05] that are very helpful
[2:09] and one is this idea of acceptance.
[2:14] So however your body is just get in
[2:17] touch with your body
[2:20] see how you feel.
[2:22] in your body
[2:26] any aches and pains or whether it sounds
[2:28] very comfortable whatever it is
[2:33] [snorts] we are not going to reject any
[2:36] part of it
[2:38] knowing that whatever it is here because
[2:41] of what went before
[2:45] and in our mind we say it's okay
[2:50] and allow your body to be the way it is.
[3:00] And we also have the same kind of
[3:02] attitude towards our mind.
[3:06] Whatever emotional state that we may
[3:10] have,
[3:14] we just allow that emotion
[3:18] to be not wanting to get rid of it
[3:23] or not wanting to hold on to it because
[3:26] if it's a good one or not so good one,
[3:30] we know it's going to change
[3:35] and it's okay.
[3:40] and doing so with gentleness.
[3:44] Really being gentle with our body,
[3:47] gentle with our mind
[3:52] [snorts]
[3:52] with that comes kindness. So these are
[3:55] the key things acceptance, gentleness
[3:58] and kindness are the kind of attitudes
[4:02] that are helpful for us to stay
[4:06] here
[4:08] for a little while.
[4:16] So, I encourage you
[4:21] to just allow
[4:24] yourself to be here
[4:31] and just being
[4:36] with this body and mind
[4:42] for a little Bye.
[5:42] And as you're settling in,
[5:47] if you notice the natural flow of your
[5:51] breaths,
[5:55] then you may gently shift your attention
[5:59] to just simply being with the breath.
[6:02] Yes.
[6:05] Knowing it when it's coming in,
[6:09] knowing it when it's going out.
[6:15] The only thing that's important right
[6:17] now is this breath.
[6:20] This one breath happening now.
[6:26] Just being with that one breath
[6:31] happening now.
[6:36] Very simple thing.
[6:41] We are not intentionally breathing.
[6:45] We are not really focusing
[6:48] with will.
[6:51] Simply being with
[6:55] the breath happening Yeah.
[27:11] As you're getting close to the end of
[27:13] this meditation,
[27:15] take a bit of time to see how you feel
[27:17] now.
[27:21] How is your body and how is your mind?
[27:35] And now I invite you to take three long
[27:38] deep breaths slowly.
[27:41] And at the end of the last one you can
[27:43] open your eyes and come out of
[27:45] meditation.
[28:21] Okay. So, um [clears throat]
[28:25] for today's uh talk I thought I will um
[28:30] talk about the recipe for high quality
[28:34] life.
[28:35] Anybody interested [laughter]
[28:38] in having a high quality life?
[28:42] We all are, isn't it? From from we were
[28:45] little. Since we were little,
[28:49] everything that we have done is towards
[28:52] achieving a high quality life meaning
[28:56] having peace, having happiness,
[28:59] well-being, right?
[29:01] And usually
[29:04] our way of achieving this is that's why
[29:09] we went to school to get a good
[29:11] education because we thought if we get
[29:13] good education
[29:15] we'll get a good job then we will get a
[29:18] lot of money. When we have money,
[29:23] we will be happy [laughter] cuz we can
[29:26] get everything that brings us happiness
[29:30] with our money. Usually, this is how not
[29:34] probably maybe most of you didn't think
[29:36] like that cuz you're wise, but lots of
[29:40] people think like this. Yeah. the things
[29:44] that when we go through that path we
[29:48] will and also very often well-being or
[29:53] success in life is seen through this
[29:56] kind of materialistic
[29:59] aspects we see like you know the science
[30:02] and technology is progressing
[30:05] people's material well-being is
[30:08] progressing I think everybody these days
[30:10] most People live like kings and queens.
[30:14] Like they have big, we call them
[30:16] queen-siz beds, kingsiz beds, really
[30:20] comfortable, right? Good quality
[30:23] clothes, really nice food. You know, if
[30:27] you think about it from the olden times,
[30:29] we really live like kings and queens and
[30:32] with material side. Lots of people have
[30:36] that.
[30:38] But is that what brings quality of our
[30:41] life? It certainly helps to have a
[30:45] comfortable house than having to sleep
[30:47] by the side of the road. Especially in
[30:50] UK when it's come to winter, it'll be
[30:53] freezing. So of course, you know, it is
[30:56] comfortable, important to have a nice
[30:59] warm house, something nice to eat and
[31:03] you know, all these things.
[31:06] But really what brings the quality of
[31:10] our life is the quality of our mind.
[31:14] Right? So for the quality of our mind,
[31:19] do we need the material gain? Do we need
[31:23] a lot of money?
[31:25] In fact, that goes counter to achieving
[31:30] quality of mind. Right? It is our
[31:34] studies that brings us stress. It's our
[31:37] work and all these things that we try to
[31:41] do to achieve to get happiness. All
[31:45] these things that we do is precisely
[31:48] what brings on this stress with that
[31:52] comes oh I have to be perfect.
[31:55] I have to really excel in these things.
[31:57] I have to be number one [clears throat]
[32:00] and and uh and I have to get all this
[32:04] the best kind of thing and trying to do
[32:07] that or what if I don't get it? What if
[32:11] I'm not the number one? What if I fail?
[32:14] What if I disappoint people? Then comes
[32:18] this anxiety, the worry, the stress, all
[32:22] of these things that come.
[32:24] And when we are like exhausted with
[32:27] these kinds of mental states, of course,
[32:30] our speech isn't going to be great. Our
[32:35] physical actions aren't going to be
[32:38] great. Even the way we think about
[32:40] things aren't going to be great. And we
[32:43] are going to cause more problems because
[32:47] these are the interpersonal
[32:48] relationships, right? This is when we
[32:51] are stressed, when we have anxiety,
[32:54] worry, all of these things because we
[32:56] want to achieve these things to be
[32:58] happy.
[33:01] In that process, we end up making some
[33:04] big mistakes. We go small that brings on
[33:08] the really
[33:10] the suffering in our life. like it's our
[33:13] words even these days the emojis not the
[33:16] ones that you send accidentally but the
[33:19] other ones
[33:21] yeah all of these things then takes away
[33:25] the quality of our life
[33:30] so it's really important to really say
[33:32] this that our quality of life what can I
[33:36] do
[33:37] in order to increase
[33:40] the quality of my life.
[33:44] So usually for our quality of life we
[33:47] want we as we said we think it is
[33:50] important to have wealth. We think it is
[33:53] important to have good health. We think
[33:57] it is important to have good friends and
[33:59] relatives
[34:01] and lots of good you know joy states.
[34:05] There's a really beautiful um dharmapad.
[34:09] So this is dhamapad verse 204
[34:16] in Pali. It goes like this.
[34:25] [clears throat]
[34:31] In English it goes like this. Health is
[34:34] the precious gain.
[34:37] Contentment the greatest wealth.
[34:41] Trustworthy person is the best relative
[34:46] and nibana extinguishment is the highest
[34:50] bliss.
[34:54] Very powerful reflection.
[34:56] So when you say health is the precious
[35:00] gain
[35:02] usually we think about gain as all these
[35:04] other things right that we achieve but
[35:07] then when you say health is the best
[35:09] gain also you think ah yeah if I have
[35:12] good health as in my body is healthy fit
[35:16] strong not having aches and pain that's
[35:19] a great gain we think
[35:24] but in this verse The Buddha goes
[35:27] actually further than that because in it
[35:29] comes up in the Mandanda suta that's how
[35:32] I know what the Buddha means because the
[35:34] verse doesn't say anything more than
[35:35] that but there's a suta called Mandanda
[35:38] Suta I can't remember the suta reference
[35:40] I'm sorry but I'm sure you can search
[35:43] with that name it's a he's a Brahmin and
[35:46] in that suta the Mandanda who's a
[35:49] Brahmin says we also have these words
[35:52] saying
[35:54] hell health is the precious gain. And he
[35:57] sort of displays all his muscles saying
[36:00] that I'm having a really healthy body so
[36:02] I'm really doing well with my life cuz
[36:05] I'm really really healthy.
[36:07] Then the Buddha says but the actual
[36:10] healthy people
[36:13] are actually the people with no
[36:15] defilements.
[36:17] It's not the physical health that is the
[36:20] most important gain. It is lack of
[36:24] defilements.
[36:26] So it's a really a healthy person is
[36:28] somebody who is fully enlightened. So of
[36:32] course that doesn't mean that we don't
[36:33] get any gain. So the less hindrances we
[36:36] have, less defilements we have and these
[36:39] things starts to go down then of course
[36:43] it's a great gain. So that's why the
[36:45] quality of our mind is affected by the
[36:50] defilements right the anger ill will
[36:54] jealousy strong desires sadness worry
[36:59] all of these things right so many of
[37:01] these things these are all defilements
[37:04] so the Buddha says that these are
[37:06] sicknesses yeah the only really people
[37:09] who are healthy are the arms the rest we
[37:13] are all we might have very healthy
[37:16] physical body
[37:18] but it is the defilements that's the
[37:20] biggest problem
[37:22] also when we have defilements that
[37:25] itself can bring on other physical uh
[37:30] health problems and it also can
[37:33] interfere in our process of getting
[37:36] better. Yeah. because our defiled states
[37:40] they secretes all kinds of
[37:42] neurotransmitters that go counter to the
[37:45] healing process.
[37:47] Uh whereas when we start to meditate and
[37:50] when we start to sort of reduce our
[37:53] defilements and hindrances then another
[37:56] group of neurotransmitters
[37:58] secretes in our body that actually helps
[38:00] the healing process. This is where all
[38:03] of you I'm I'm sure are disciples of
[38:05] Oswam Brah who very often talks about
[38:08] and even gives examples of people who
[38:12] have recovered from incredibly difficult
[38:15] he uh health problems through deep
[38:19] meditation. That doesn't mean just
[38:21] because you have deep meditation that
[38:24] you always have good health and that um
[38:26] if um because even the Buddha who was
[38:29] fully enlightened still had health
[38:31] problems but certainly one aspect of our
[38:35] health can be taken care of when our
[38:38] defilements are going down
[38:42] and the most importantly
[38:44] uh the gain that we know mental
[38:46] well-being having the the good quality
[38:49] ities you know the Brahma viharas or
[38:53] nice spiritual qualities of generosity,
[38:56] virtue, kindness, all of these things
[38:59] when they are in our mind in fact
[39:02] gratitude all of these things really
[39:07] is a game but it goes further than that
[39:10] I'm going to spend a little bit of time
[39:13] because it is also important for us
[39:15] these days
[39:17] Alzheimer's dementia IA is kind of so
[39:21] common like this is like really really
[39:24] and the causes for it is uncertain
[39:29] really people don't know exactly what
[39:32] are the causes that are identified
[39:34] things but we are not sure that really
[39:38] healthy people really active people
[39:41] really big meditators all kinds of
[39:45] people are known to get Alzheimer so If
[39:49] we think because I'm a meditator I'm not
[39:52] going to get Alzheimer's, it's not true.
[39:55] Already we know actually deep meditators
[39:58] can also get this because this is also
[40:01] part of the body. Like for example, I
[40:04] don't know too much about it. I'm not a
[40:05] doctor but I know if you have a blood
[40:07] clot blocking your blood to the brain
[40:12] can cause a certain kind of Alzheimer's.
[40:14] Nothing to do with your meditation. You
[40:17] could get a blood clot just because of
[40:20] other conditions in your body. So
[40:23] therefore these things uh may come to
[40:26] us. We are uncertain and this is
[40:29] actually more problematic than even
[40:31] dying. Right? Because once you get these
[40:34] conditions you are completely out of
[40:37] your control and you are completely
[40:40] driven by your habits.
[40:45] Yeah. The habits that you have built is
[40:47] what is it's really interesting if you
[40:50] have anybody in your life who has
[40:53] Alzheimer's. It's interesting to watch
[40:55] these people like they become not who
[40:59] they were before. All their guards are
[41:02] gone. Their controls, their projections
[41:06] of who they were are gone. The true
[41:09] person comes out and these habits come
[41:13] out. Now I am very very fortunate here
[41:17] to be living with somebody who's been a
[41:20] long-term practitioner who is now having
[41:25] um
[41:27] um dementia. It has been a really
[41:29] eyeopener for me. I've learned a lot and
[41:32] from this I have sort of come up with
[41:35] some ideas how to grow old gracefully.
[41:39] Now this is relevant to all of us right?
[41:42] If you don't die young, old age is
[41:45] coming. But how do you grow old
[41:48] gracefully
[41:50] given even if you get even Alzheimer's?
[41:53] Because very many people
[41:56] uh when they get these kinds of
[41:58] diseases, it's difficult to live with.
[42:00] Sometimes they are very angry. Sometimes
[42:03] they're really angry with even their
[42:06] carers who are working really hard to
[42:08] support. It's not easy to support
[42:11] somebody with Alzheimer's. You have to
[42:14] have great deal of patience, kindness
[42:16] because you have to repeat so many
[42:18] things. But yet they are often people
[42:22] get lot of depression are completely
[42:25] faultf finding, getting angry, uh
[42:28] difficult to really look after. They
[42:30] don't know how to take care of
[42:31] themselves.
[42:35] But it's really interesting to see that
[42:38] there are others who do remarkably. So
[42:41] why I'm bringing this up is this um a
[42:44] person that I know who's been a
[42:46] long-term practitioner who's now uh
[42:49] diagnosed with this
[42:52] whenever she's constantly so grateful.
[42:56] Whatever you give her when you give her
[42:58] 2 minute like you know instant coffee or
[43:01] some anything right she's so grateful
[43:04] it's the kind of best thing she's so
[43:07] happy whatever we do okay to today we
[43:10] are moving you to here you have to sleep
[43:12] here you have to eat that you have to go
[43:14] there everything she's so grateful and
[43:17] truly because she has no control this is
[43:20] actually truly gratitude coming because
[43:23] that's something she has really
[43:26] cultivated for a long period of time. So
[43:29] when we she was not having Alzheimer's,
[43:32] I don't think she was always as
[43:34] grateful. Sometimes there were other
[43:35] things as well, but now she is going on
[43:39] this kind of automatic
[43:41] habits. It goes to show that this is
[43:44] something she has truly cultivated
[43:47] coming out really beautiful to stay
[43:50] very contented, easy to look after.
[43:53] Whatever you do, she's actually truly
[43:56] contented and it's not an act because
[43:58] they can't act cuz they don't have much
[44:01] control over you know don't have much
[44:04] memory. So this is their true self now
[44:06] but to see that this is possible. So
[44:09] these are like really beautiful um
[44:13] mental habits. It's easy for somebody to
[44:15] care for somebody like that. Like for us
[44:18] it's like a real blessing when somebody
[44:20] has like that but is so grateful. So
[44:23] contented, so easily to easy to support,
[44:27] not complaining, not aggressive, not
[44:30] angry, not depressed. So really
[44:33] beautiful, right? So all that is coming
[44:35] from what you have cultivated really
[44:38] powerfully before. So this goes to show
[44:42] this is so important for us. Let alone
[44:45] our enlightenment that may or may not
[44:47] happen. But we will get old. We will die
[44:51] along the way. We might also very likely
[44:54] get dementia.
[44:56] And when that happens, you know, we want
[44:59] to be good. And imagine dying with a
[45:02] mind state that is really depressed,
[45:06] angry, ungrateful, complaining, faultf
[45:09] finding. Not a good state, right? Angry.
[45:12] It's not a good state to be going out
[45:15] for our own going out as well and for
[45:19] people around us.
[45:21] So for me it became so clear forget
[45:24] about other things actually cultivate
[45:26] some of these things but they have
[45:29] farreaching consequences cuz what
[45:32] happens when you develop um a mind that
[45:36] is actually always finding gratitude and
[45:40] giving compliments instead of comp uh
[45:44] complaints. That's another thing we feel
[45:46] really good every day. We hear so many
[45:48] compliments, [laughter] thank yous for
[45:51] doing things, but for good things. She
[45:53] doesn't say, "I'm thank you. You're
[45:54] great." She says what she's thankful
[45:56] for. Why she says you're great. So it's
[45:59] not like completely out in the moment
[46:01] when she says something, she says, "Oh,
[46:03] because of this, this is great. I'm
[46:05] really, you know, gives compliments like
[46:07] this." So really nice to hang out with
[46:09] somebody like this. So, and we want to
[46:12] be like this, right? Because as we're
[46:13] dying even if we don't have so much
[46:17] control of our mind even through habit
[46:20] if that's how our mind is inclining it's
[46:23] a real winner real winner right really
[46:26] good way to go out so therefore for me I
[46:30] realized wow this is so important to
[46:32] cultivate this kind of mind whatever is
[46:36] possible to build up gratitude
[46:40] build up this kind of compliments seeing
[46:43] how can I compliment things rather than
[46:46] being uh complaining. So I always say
[46:48] this I ask people are you generous with
[46:51] your compliments or are you generous
[46:54] with your complaints? I know the answer
[46:57] [laughter] for everybody. It's it's it's
[47:00] known right. Our complaints we're very
[47:04] generous with our complaints very stingy
[47:08] with our compliments. So we have to
[47:10] reverse this now if you want to win this
[47:13] game right life. So so therefore we have
[47:16] to actively cultivate that but honestly
[47:19] not not like um fake compliments. We
[47:23] have to really develop that kind of mind
[47:26] to really truly be able to compliment
[47:29] see something good some something that
[47:32] you can appreciate something you can be
[47:35] grateful about. And these are the very
[47:38] things that actually brings these
[47:41] defilements down because these are the
[47:43] positive qualities. These are the dharma
[47:45] qualities. These qualities and
[47:48] defilements can't stay at the same time.
[47:52] They are opposites. So when these
[47:54] qualities are there, the defilements
[47:56] have to depart. What happens when the
[47:58] defilements and depart? Well, the bonus
[48:02] you get good meditation.
[48:04] Yeah, you are not working on good
[48:06] meditation. You are preparing for your
[48:08] old age and the onset of dementia. But
[48:11] as a result, you do prepare yourself
[48:15] also for good meditation. Because when
[48:16] you do it deliberately for good
[48:18] meditation, then we are interfering with
[48:21] the process. Then we have ulterior
[48:24] motivations directed at meditation that
[48:27] gets in the way and we can't get good
[48:29] meditation by trying to trick it like
[48:31] that. So we forget about the meditation
[48:33] practice. If you are truly cultivating
[48:35] this to sort of uh you know honestly
[48:39] wanting to reach old age with grace.
[48:44] So as a result then this kind of um
[48:47] thing happened but the other thing is
[48:49] also cultivating good um physical habits
[48:53] like how do you take care of yourself.
[48:55] So having some kind of routines of you
[48:57] know how you not being too random but
[49:01] when you have a little bit of routine
[49:03] bought into your day uh about things
[49:07] that's also very helpful because once
[49:09] you have dementia because you run
[49:10] through that process that also makes the
[49:13] carers
[49:15] uh less burden for the carers cuz you
[49:18] have a routine that you would do how you
[49:19] take care of yourself where you put
[49:21] things and things like that then that's
[49:24] a good thing So it's not really a big
[49:26] dharma kind of thing but still you know
[49:28] that kind of cleanliness, orderliness
[49:31] they all go together uh as well. So
[49:34] that's another another aspect but the
[49:36] most important thing is that this um um
[49:40] the biggest gain the health but the
[49:43] health of the mind because that's what
[49:46] adds to our quality of life.
[49:49] And the second one uh that we said is
[49:53] that contentment is the greatest wealth.
[49:56] So each line we could have a whole
[49:59] workshop right even that other thing
[50:01] that I'm now stopping but you can
[50:03] contemplate further like like the how is
[50:06] that health physical and mental health
[50:08] like health of your defilements in the
[50:11] sense defilements going down and
[50:14] spiritual qualities coming up is the
[50:16] greatest gain and contentment is the
[50:19] greatest wealth. So this is another
[50:22] really interesting thing. I'm going to
[50:24] say a story which some of you may have
[50:28] heard but even if there is one person
[50:30] who haven't heard it, it's worthwhile
[50:33] saying but you all being disciples of
[50:35] Ajan Brah, you're used to hearing the
[50:37] same story again and again. So here
[50:40] comes an Ajan B story.
[50:44] This is the story of the kids wishing
[50:47] gain.
[50:49] Okay. So there are five kids in this
[50:51] wishing game and the one who wins is the
[50:54] one who has the coolest kind of wish. So
[50:59] there are little kids. Let's say this
[51:01] time this is maybe little boys, a group
[51:03] of boys. And so the first kid says, "Oh,
[51:07] I wish I had the latest video game." And
[51:11] all the kids go, "Yes, that's great."
[51:13] because they've all been wanting the
[51:15] latest video game and their parents are
[51:17] not getting it because they have to
[51:19] struggle, you know, to get the latest
[51:21] game. And they were like, "Yes, that's
[51:23] great." And so then the second kid says,
[51:28] "Oh, if I have a wish, then I wish I own
[51:32] the video game store. So then I can have
[51:36] every time the latest game and all the
[51:38] other games." So all the kids say,
[51:40] "Yeah, that's great. That's amazing.
[51:42] Wow, that's a really good wish. Of
[51:45] course, the third kid has to do even
[51:47] better. So, the third kid says, "Oh, may
[51:50] I have a billion dollars?" Now, nowadays
[51:54] saying million, you can't even buy a
[51:56] small apartment, right? So, we have to
[51:59] go for a billion dollars or pounds or
[52:02] whatever it is, euros. So, a billion.
[52:05] Then, then he says, "Oh, I can have my
[52:07] own video store." As Ajan Brah says it,
[52:11] I can have my own university. So I don't
[52:13] have to study. I can get my own degree
[52:15] because I own the university. [laughter]
[52:18] All these kinds of things. So with a
[52:19] billion dollars, you can get a lot of
[52:22] things.
[52:24] So of course the fourth kid has to do
[52:26] even better, right? So the fourth kids
[52:29] is very cheeky. Says, "Oh, with my one
[52:32] wish, I wish for two more wishes. And
[52:37] with my two wishes, with one of them,
[52:40] I'm going to wish for a billion dollars.
[52:43] And with my second wish, I'm going to
[52:46] wish for two more wishes. And some
[52:49] people can spend very easily a billion
[52:53] dollars. Right? So when I finish with my
[52:56] billion dollars, with my second wish,
[53:00] I wish for another billion dollars and
[53:03] two more wishes. So this means endless
[53:07] wishes and money because he also
[53:10] realized not everything you can buy from
[53:13] with money but with wishes you can right
[53:17] can you buy love with money you can't
[53:21] but but with wishes
[53:23] that's the idea of a wish right you wish
[53:26] and you get your ideal soulmate or
[53:29] whatever it is things that you can't buy
[53:31] for money with wishes you can so because
[53:33] he's So that means endless. So desires.
[53:38] Yeah, you can get whatever amount
[53:41] freedom of desire, right? So have enough
[53:44] whatever. So that's the fourth kid. So
[53:48] how do you beat this, right? Obviously
[53:50] the fifth kid won this wishing game. So
[53:54] how do you beat this? That endless
[53:57] everything you wish for, you can have.
[53:59] So the fifth kid says, "May I be so
[54:04] happy, so contented that I do not need
[54:09] any wishes." So this is freedom from
[54:14] desire. Amazing, isn't it? Freedom from
[54:17] desire. So this is what the Buddha is
[54:20] saying here as well. Contentment is the
[54:23] highest wealth, right? Contented mind.
[54:26] It's amazing, right? Because it is our
[54:29] discontent that cause so much of our
[54:32] suffering also the defilements are
[54:35] brought in because of discontentment. So
[54:37] if you have contentment actually it
[54:40] leads to that other one health good
[54:43] health in the sense well-being. So uh
[54:47] and this discontentment is one of the
[54:50] biggest pandemics not not COVID or any
[54:53] other thing. This discontentment yeah
[54:56] it's the the biggest kind of disease and
[54:59] it spread it's it's very contagious cuz
[55:02] people say oh I had this and you want
[55:04] that or this was so yummy I want that. I
[55:08] went there it was so amazing. Oh and I
[55:10] watched this and I want that. So it's
[55:14] contagious. So it's really terrible
[55:16] thing. Takes your peace away really
[55:20] fast, really easily. So cultivating
[55:24] contentment is really powerful. And when
[55:27] you have it's not like the wealth in
[55:29] that sense, but it is much more you know
[55:32] the gain, the wealth, a contented mind.
[55:36] And that is the mind of an arroant.
[55:38] Yeah. And Ara has a perfectly contented
[55:41] mind because there is a the beautiful
[55:44] verse in um in the paranagin
[55:59] who here is contented
[56:02] who has given up all of these agitations
[56:05] of the mind
[56:07] and the answer is it's the enlightened
[56:10] being. Yeah. So it's really nice. So
[56:12] whenever we try to incline our mind
[56:16] towards contentment,
[56:18] we are sort of inclining our mind
[56:21] towards an enlightened being. Isn't that
[56:23] a nice way to think? Yeah. Even though
[56:25] we may be far away from that level of
[56:28] contentment,
[56:30] but we are building up. And these all
[56:34] have like farreaching consequences. Like
[56:36] we saw with the other one, this too is
[56:39] really powerful way of helping us and
[56:43] also for getting old. That's a side
[56:46] topic. So first topic is the recipe for
[56:50] um uh good high quality life. But the
[56:54] second subtopic is how to grow old
[56:57] gracefully. Right? This is important for
[56:59] us as well. This is part of this high
[57:01] quality life. And again when we incline
[57:04] to contentment, yeah, you're very happy,
[57:08] easy to look after, easy to support.
[57:11] Yeah. So contentment and gratitude goes
[57:14] together. It is through that that that
[57:16] gratefulness comes as well. So they're
[57:18] related. Good qualities. When you build
[57:20] up one, the other things come. This is a
[57:23] good thing. The with with the
[57:24] defilements, it's also like that, right?
[57:26] When you have one, the rest join force
[57:29] very quickly. And we are very familiar
[57:31] with that process happening and suddenly
[57:33] we get overwhelmed sort of it's like a a
[57:36] whole attack coming at us. But the good
[57:39] news is also with the good qualities
[57:42] they also join force. They are
[57:44] connected. So when you start building
[57:46] one other things also come together. So
[57:49] very powerful. So so whatever it is that
[57:52] is easier for us to build start with
[57:54] that. Yeah. So contentment is the
[57:58] greatest wealth. And then what about
[58:01] this one? Trustworthy person is the best
[58:05] relative.
[58:07] What is that about? Yeah, this is a
[58:09] little interesting. Who is a relative?
[58:14] Yeah, what is a relative about? Usually
[58:17] like we say relative by maybe the
[58:19] definition is like somebody who's
[58:21] related to you like genetically or
[58:24] something like your father, mother,
[58:26] brother, sister and you know their
[58:28] siblings and things like that. That's
[58:30] who you call as a relative. And what's
[58:34] the thing is like if it's your relative
[58:37] you you sort of feel that that's
[58:39] somewhere somebody who would help me
[58:41] when I'm in trouble right that's what
[58:42] you think about my relatives are the
[58:45] people I will go to for help like you
[58:49] sort of many people would find refuge in
[58:52] your relatives like usually in trouble
[58:55] when you're a kid you go to your mom and
[58:57] dad right even when you are an adult if
[58:59] your mom and dad is there you still try
[59:02] to go if you have a a a good
[59:04] relationship.
[59:07] So a relative is usually like that. But
[59:10] even if you they are genetically
[59:12] connected and a relative but if you have
[59:16] broken your trust with them.
[59:18] Unfortunately this happens also in the
[59:20] world right with some of our very
[59:22] important relationships.
[59:25] Somehow sometimes trust has been broken
[59:28] in important place and this affects us
[59:31] quite a lot for for many people. So once
[59:35] the trust is broken once that um yeah
[59:39] confidence trust is broken even they are
[59:43] uh technically a relative
[59:46] uh then they are not able to offer us
[59:49] the support. They're no longer like a
[59:52] refuge that we can go to when we are in
[59:55] difficulty.
[59:57] But wherever we find trust,
[1:00:02] confidence
[1:00:05] in somebody and that's a good relative
[1:00:09] whether they are not genetically maybe
[1:00:10] related or anything but there is
[1:00:14] somewhere we can go for refuge where we
[1:00:17] can go when we are going through
[1:00:20] difficulty and also something that we
[1:00:23] can give to the world. the best kind of
[1:00:25] gift, right? Being a trustworthy person
[1:00:29] because with trust goes also virtue.
[1:00:32] Usually somebody who's trustworthy is
[1:00:35] also very upright, very v kind of have
[1:00:38] good virtue. So this is a beautiful gift
[1:00:42] we can give not just to our genetically
[1:00:45] related people but to anybody. So you
[1:00:48] become a good relative, a good refuge
[1:00:52] for others. Isn't that an amazing thing?
[1:00:55] Because that doesn't cost us any money.
[1:00:58] It's a beautiful gift that we can give
[1:01:01] to others. And when we have trust and
[1:01:05] confidence,
[1:01:07] it also encourages the other people to
[1:01:10] also establish trust in you. So that's
[1:01:14] how it works. And trust is a difficult
[1:01:16] one to work with and easily broken, hard
[1:01:20] to hard to fix. But it is worthwhile
[1:01:24] taking all the effort
[1:01:27] to fix it because then you do have this
[1:01:31] kind of you know real relative a real
[1:01:35] support uh uh I mean our real refuge is
[1:01:39] the Buddha Dhama and the Sana of course.
[1:01:41] So this is the next level right. So
[1:01:44] trustworthy person
[1:01:46] but also like the SA or the Buddha you
[1:01:50] know also again is the real relative in
[1:01:53] that sense. So it has those both ways.
[1:01:55] So that confidence trust in in here is
[1:02:00] really a incredible support for us. So
[1:02:03] to give and to receive and again
[1:02:08] contributes to the quality of our life.
[1:02:11] A lot of the time a lot of our problems
[1:02:14] come because of lack of trust precisely
[1:02:18] with the people closest to us. Somehow
[1:02:21] along the line along the time frame of
[1:02:24] time some issues have sort of affected
[1:02:28] or shaken our trust
[1:02:32] and with that it becomes very difficult
[1:02:35] to function together do anything.
[1:02:39] So it is really important
[1:02:42] rather than going your own ways which is
[1:02:45] what happens after a while uh sometimes
[1:02:47] you can't be bothered so you just do
[1:02:49] your own thing and live separately
[1:02:51] rather than that then you're without
[1:02:54] that kind of support
[1:02:56] uh to work towards how can we build this
[1:02:59] trust back again. Yeah. So so so this is
[1:03:03] really beautiful and of course the last
[1:03:05] one doesn't need much explanation.
[1:03:08] Nibbana is the highest bliss. So
[1:03:12] [laughter]
[1:03:13] that I'm not going to talk too much
[1:03:14] about because there's nothing much to
[1:03:17] say or it's everything to say. So then
[1:03:20] we can be here all day, all night
[1:03:22] talking about how nibbana is blissful
[1:03:25] but I'm sure you can comprehend that um
[1:03:29] enough. So therefore I won't say very
[1:03:32] much. So I have spoken more than half an
[1:03:35] hour. So, there's about another 20
[1:03:37] minutes, 15 minutes or something. Uh,
[1:03:40] and I would like to open up for
[1:03:42] questions, comments,
[1:03:45] feedback, anything, complaints
[1:03:49] [laughter] if you dare.
[1:03:52] All right.
[1:03:56] Yes, Richard.
[1:04:05] You're still unmuted. You're still
[1:04:07] muted.
[1:04:11] Okay. Yeah.
[1:04:13] >> Yeah. Hi. Sorry about that. It's my
[1:04:15] phone. So basically about contentment
[1:04:18] and discontentment.
[1:04:20] Um I found out during my lifetime
[1:04:23] um first 10 years I was about 18
[1:04:26] upwards. I used to go to the Buddhist
[1:04:28] society and I go to the Zen group, but I
[1:04:31] never really learned anything there
[1:04:33] other than a lot of patience and pain.
[1:04:37] And then I decided to be very naughty
[1:04:39] and leave and just be crazy in a nice
[1:04:43] sort of way, you know, obviously
[1:04:44] legally. So I did lots of naughty things
[1:04:47] like hitchhiking,
[1:04:50] you know, shopping, living in squats
[1:04:53] with girlfriends and you it was very
[1:04:57] contented. It was very um felt really
[1:04:59] liberated.
[1:05:01] But after a while, it got a bit boring
[1:05:04] as well. So like, you know, I was um I'm
[1:05:08] not was no angel, but I was no nasty
[1:05:11] person really either. And so it ended up
[1:05:13] with me having to hide in a in a
[1:05:16] junkie's friend's
[1:05:19] house in King's Cross in London because
[1:05:21] there was some people looking for me to
[1:05:23] beat me up. I been a naughty boy. So I
[1:05:26] was sitting there in their garden and I
[1:05:29] saw this book about um Buddhism again.
[1:05:32] So I hadn't been a interest in Buddhism
[1:05:34] for about five years at that point and
[1:05:38] it was just so nice just to see
[1:05:40] something was so peaceful so quiet so I
[1:05:44] rejoined the Buddhist society went back
[1:05:47] to the Zen group but it didn't really
[1:05:49] appeal to me so then I joined um the
[1:05:51] Amraati law you know the other Buddhist
[1:05:55] >> and um didn't go down well with some
[1:05:57] members in the Zen group but honestly I
[1:05:59] just didn't care and Um so yeah um I
[1:06:03] found that much more contented to do
[1:06:06] that. So um and then I I had a
[1:06:09] connection with Tibetan Buddhism as
[1:06:11] well. So I've always tried to cultivate
[1:06:14] or give myself to cultivating bodhicitta
[1:06:18] practices which is exchanging myself or
[1:06:20] others and you know the normal um simple
[1:06:25] meditation of being quiet. So I find
[1:06:29] those two really beneficial
[1:06:32] um and my life because that is much more
[1:06:35] um easier, much more contented because
[1:06:37] the more that I um
[1:06:40] exchange myself for others and try to do
[1:06:42] things or like for example I go to read
[1:06:45] to a friend of mine three days a week
[1:06:47] and um it's not easy to read to because
[1:06:50] he you know he's a man depressive
[1:06:52] schizophrenic
[1:06:53] so but he's very um nice guy his nature
[1:06:57] is very peaceful. for he's very highly
[1:07:00] educated and his heart is really good
[1:07:03] actually you know and like so it's nice
[1:07:06] to go to see people like that and so um
[1:07:09] yeah I find that um basically the less I
[1:07:12] seem to moan about things and the more
[1:07:16] that I just simply do nothing and just
[1:07:18] relax try to meditate or just do the
[1:07:22] other thing like exchanging myself for
[1:07:25] others then actually life is more
[1:07:27] Amazing. Whereas, you know, I've had
[1:07:30] money in the past as well. I inherited
[1:07:33] money. It felt really nice to have all
[1:07:35] this freedom, you know, to do what I
[1:07:38] wanted, go where I wanted, to buy what I
[1:07:41] wanted. But that only lasts so long, you
[1:07:45] know. It wasn't that enough money to be
[1:07:48] permanently
[1:07:50] um rich, but it was enough to appreciate
[1:07:55] money. So, yeah. So um that's my little
[1:07:59] story. So I appreciate um contentment
[1:08:02] and I appreciate gratitude.
[1:08:05] Um
[1:08:08] >> thank you for sharing. Yeah, thank you
[1:08:09] so much for sharing.
[1:08:16] >> Yeah.
[1:08:20] any Okay, Karina,
[1:08:28] you can unmute. Yeah,
[1:08:32] >> I think I'm on mute now.
[1:08:34] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:08:35] >> Yeah. Thank you very much for this
[1:08:37] beautiful talk. Um I have a little
[1:08:41] question here. So,
[1:08:45] uh I'll do a little bit of reflection,
[1:08:46] but I'll try to be very short. Uh yeah,
[1:08:49] short with it. Um
[1:08:52] so generally I always been a person who
[1:08:55] didn't want a lot and I was kind of
[1:08:59] quite content
[1:09:01] uh with having little
[1:09:04] >> but what I found uh in my life is that
[1:09:07] sometimes people are angry with me that
[1:09:11] I don't want things or that I don't have
[1:09:15] the same let's say drive to you know to
[1:09:18] get material stuff or to I don't know go
[1:09:21] and party or you know care about things
[1:09:24] that people normally have. So, for
[1:09:26] example, once I had someone bump into my
[1:09:29] car and I said, "Okay, you know, it's
[1:09:31] just a little dent."
[1:09:33] >> But then people around me were like, you
[1:09:37] know, that I don't care that what kind
[1:09:39] of person I am. And I think that
[1:09:41] sometimes I struggle with this as in
[1:09:44] with people not understanding,
[1:09:48] you know, the level content I have. So,
[1:09:51] I'm just wondering if you could give me
[1:09:53] some tips of actually how do I deal with
[1:09:56] people who are angry with me or not
[1:09:59] happy that I'm happy with a little.
[1:10:02] Thank you.
[1:10:04] >> Right. Yeah. It's trying to maybe
[1:10:08] understand because very many people
[1:10:10] don't understand
[1:10:12] what contentment is.
[1:10:15] Very many people. Now I just saw
[1:10:18] Magdalina who's from Poland.
[1:10:22] They we had a discussion group and we
[1:10:25] were talking about you know it's really
[1:10:27] hard Polish words translated English
[1:10:31] words you know translating into Polish
[1:10:33] and things like that and the word when
[1:10:36] they translated contentment when they
[1:10:40] described what it was it sounded exactly
[1:10:43] what we call in English complacency.
[1:10:47] And there wasn't uh they haven't picked
[1:10:50] up an accurate word for contentment.
[1:10:55] The thing is even whether the
[1:10:57] contentment the English word we use is
[1:11:00] actually sani in parali because the
[1:11:03] language and word concepts don't some
[1:11:06] necessarily go across cultures right so
[1:11:10] we just try and understand and so this
[1:11:13] word contentment even though it is there
[1:11:17] whether people really understand
[1:11:20] uh what contentment at least what the
[1:11:22] Buddha mentioned as suti which
[1:11:24] translated as contentment and very often
[1:11:27] people uh mix it up with complacency. So
[1:11:32] complacency is grounded in delusion in
[1:11:36] the sense you don't really care even if
[1:11:40] your life is at danger. If your other
[1:11:44] people are
[1:11:46] struggling because you are like you're
[1:11:48] not doing anything that's complacency
[1:11:51] that's being irresponsible. This is
[1:11:53] being because you're really overwhelmed.
[1:11:56] Some people are really overwhelmed with
[1:11:58] life. They can't be bothered. They're
[1:12:01] like, "It's good enough." But it's not
[1:12:03] coming from a place of wisdom. So
[1:12:07] contentment is coming from a place of
[1:12:10] wisdom, a place where you know how much
[1:12:14] is enough, why is it enough? Um what is
[1:12:18] good, you know, and you do the thing and
[1:12:21] and and you know when to say no. But we
[1:12:24] have to have compassion for people who
[1:12:27] may not understand this because for very
[1:12:30] many people the moment they hear this
[1:12:32] word they actually relate to complacency
[1:12:36] and that is where they get angry. So it
[1:12:40] is not an easy term sometimes to really
[1:12:43] fully understand. So then what you do is
[1:12:46] it's no point trying to really talk and
[1:12:49] argue and all that. So we have to
[1:12:52] develop
[1:12:54] another thing that goes very close with
[1:12:56] contentment is equinomity.
[1:12:59] Yeah. So you allow these things. Okay.
[1:13:02] It's also somebody's perspective.
[1:13:04] Doesn't matter what you do. Like like
[1:13:07] Aam Ram say sometimes people praise you
[1:13:10] for things you didn't do. Sometimes they
[1:13:14] complain to you for things you didn't
[1:13:16] do. Sometimes they praise you for things
[1:13:19] you did do. Sometimes they blame you for
[1:13:22] things you did do. But the thing is it's
[1:13:24] people's projection, their
[1:13:25] understanding. And we can't make
[1:13:28] everybody happy. As long as we know
[1:13:32] where we are coming from and why. Well,
[1:13:35] that's the most important thing. It's
[1:13:37] not like about we're trying to live to
[1:13:40] make everybody happy and according to
[1:13:43] everybody's expectations,
[1:13:46] but it is how you do it. I mean when
[1:13:48] somebody gives you advice and say where
[1:13:50] your car got accident you must do
[1:13:52] something about it acknowledge their
[1:13:54] concern for you or whatever I appreciate
[1:13:56] you caring for me I appreciate your
[1:13:59] advice let's see what I can do you know
[1:14:02] you have to like find very truthful yet
[1:14:06] skillful ways to deal with it and in
[1:14:09] your own mind you develop compassion
[1:14:12] because you understand I mean they're
[1:14:14] not happy because they are getting the
[1:14:15] wrong because nobody they understood the
[1:14:17] true contentment will be upset. Yeah. So
[1:14:21] anyway that's what I will say and yes
[1:14:24] Buana.
[1:14:30] Hi and thank you so much for this
[1:14:32] wonderful talk and meditation. Venerable
[1:14:34] I'm really grateful.
[1:14:36] Um, I recently found myself in a
[1:14:40] situation because of living in a new
[1:14:43] country and attending a language course
[1:14:46] and there is a person there who um
[1:14:50] speaks the same native language as me
[1:14:53] and she somehow um
[1:14:58] found herself very attached to me which
[1:15:01] I wouldn't mind but she um has proven to
[1:15:05] be an extremely dissatisfied and
[1:15:07] negative person. And I have to see her
[1:15:11] daily um for about 4 hours a day and
[1:15:16] then she tries to walk home with me as
[1:15:20] well. And um I realized that I am um
[1:15:26] starting to struggle between um well
[1:15:30] finding the balance between u being
[1:15:34] kind, which is so important to me, and
[1:15:36] and actually not allowing her to
[1:15:38] influence me with uh just even the
[1:15:41] language that she uses. And almost every
[1:15:45] word is an opportunity to say something
[1:15:47] bad about someone. And I find that it
[1:15:52] started to really affect me and that I
[1:15:54] arrive home and I um
[1:15:59] I almost feel like I don't have any
[1:16:02] kindness for her.
[1:16:05] >> Um
[1:16:06] >> yeah, tricky.
[1:16:08] >> Yeah, it's very tricky. I would like to
[1:16:10] be able to to be kind um to her
[1:16:14] included, but um
[1:16:18] >> yeah. Yeah, she's really challenging me
[1:16:20] right now,
[1:16:21] >> right? Yeah. Yeah. So, the thing is
[1:16:24] kindness
[1:16:26] with wisdom is what works, but kindness
[1:16:30] without wisdom [clears throat] is
[1:16:32] counterproductive.
[1:16:34] So, yeah, it is also a kind thing to say
[1:16:40] no to these things. Why? Well, she might
[1:16:43] feel a little hurt because you say no to
[1:16:46] certain things like not having hanging
[1:16:49] around too much or whatever. But because
[1:16:52] when she's having a hanging around,
[1:16:54] she's getting that opportunity to you
[1:16:57] know make bad karma for herself with all
[1:16:59] this uh uh unskillful speech and also it
[1:17:03] is affecting somebody else quality of
[1:17:06] mind.
[1:17:07] So by saying no at least you know it's
[1:17:10] it's a good thing for her that that
[1:17:13] opportunity to not make that. So so
[1:17:16] therefore there are times because the
[1:17:19] Buddha really emphasized in the mangala
[1:17:21] the sutan blessings one of the most
[1:17:23] important things which is why it's the
[1:17:25] first blessing he talks about.
[1:17:30] Do not associate the unwise. Associate
[1:17:35] wise people, right? Do I I I like to say
[1:17:37] it like in a in a funny way because then
[1:17:40] you I'm not saying your friend is like
[1:17:42] this or this person, but when you say it
[1:17:45] like don't associate the idiots kind of
[1:17:48] thing. Not idiot, I'm saying it just
[1:17:50] because it's kind of funny. But but to
[1:17:52] say like not to associate people who are
[1:17:56] leading you towards defilements towards
[1:18:00] un unskillful states. So it doesn't mean
[1:18:02] that they are idiots and in the sense
[1:18:04] they're not intelligent or or anything
[1:18:06] like this. So somebody could be
[1:18:08] intelligent and smart and everything but
[1:18:11] anybody who leads you towards unskllful
[1:18:16] and wholesome is considered unwise.
[1:18:19] Yeah. or or a fool. The Buddha actually
[1:18:21] used the word fool. So, uh bala means
[1:18:25] fool. So, so it is important who we
[1:18:28] associate and how we associate them. So,
[1:18:31] if you have like it's a stuck situation
[1:18:34] where you can't really avoid being with
[1:18:37] this person because of work or whatever,
[1:18:40] then try and see the good qualities they
[1:18:45] have. Like I'm sure their speech may be
[1:18:48] not so good or whatever. There may be
[1:18:51] other things. Maybe they're very
[1:18:52] generous. Maybe they're very kind. They
[1:18:55] don't maybe steal. Maybe they don't do
[1:18:57] something or the other. There might be
[1:18:59] might be hard but there might be at
[1:19:01] least one thing or another thing. So if
[1:19:04] you must stay with these people then
[1:19:06] just direct your focus onto anything uh
[1:19:11] that is good about this person
[1:19:14] and and and learning skillful ways to
[1:19:19] say no is really important for all of
[1:19:21] us. Yeah, it is really important that we
[1:19:24] know and learn and to be assertive in
[1:19:28] the right kind of way is important for
[1:19:31] your well-being, their well-being and
[1:19:33] for many other people like it affects
[1:19:34] your family or whoever else that you
[1:19:36] have to live with as well. So therefore
[1:19:39] um finding a very kind when it comes
[1:19:42] from kindness in a good place people
[1:19:45] feel it. So even if you your answer is a
[1:19:48] no they will get it. So we have to work
[1:19:51] with things so that you also don't
[1:19:53] develop so much negativity towards this
[1:19:56] person is also very helpful. So anyway
[1:19:58] these are not easy things easily said
[1:20:00] than done but
[1:20:03] yeah so try and see. Yeah. Okay. All
[1:20:08] right.
[1:20:12] So there are all kinds of things in the
[1:20:16] chat.
[1:20:18] Okay. Kim says, "Isn't kinder to help
[1:20:21] her by telling her how you feel rather
[1:20:25] than just avoiding her?" Yeah, it is
[1:20:29] kinder to say how you feel, but it is
[1:20:31] how you say it. These are very
[1:20:33] complicated. So, we have to have good
[1:20:36] education on nonviolent communication.
[1:20:40] It's not so easy. It is important if you
[1:20:44] can get across that but at the same time
[1:20:48] it's really tricky
[1:20:50] at least this is somebody who speaks the
[1:20:53] native language it becomes slightly
[1:20:55] easier but when we don't speak the same
[1:20:58] language and when we have to use a
[1:21:00] foreign language to communicate oh we
[1:21:03] really unintentionally get into a lot of
[1:21:05] trouble.
[1:21:07] [sighs and gasps] Yeah. Anyway, so yes,
[1:21:10] this is also important. Not not avoiding
[1:21:14] but really saying no and maybe it's how
[1:21:17] you say might have a thing to add. Why?
[1:21:20] Yeah.
[1:21:22] Okay. Uh Jera says, "Dear A, thank you
[1:21:27] so much for this wonderful dharma talk.
[1:21:30] As we know, everything is conditioned
[1:21:33] and that includes contentment. But
[1:21:35] somehow it sometimes seems difficult for
[1:21:38] me to grasp uh this conceptually.
[1:21:43] Or rather do I have to do something to
[1:21:46] walk the noble eightful path and
[1:21:49] therefore be
[1:21:51] dissatisfied
[1:21:53] in a certain way with where I am right
[1:21:57] now or at least be patient with that
[1:22:01] dissatisfaction.
[1:22:03] Okay. So yeah this is interesting
[1:22:05] because this is sometimes um very
[1:22:08] closely related to complacency. So
[1:22:12] sometimes some people uh uh wherever
[1:22:15] they are on the part
[1:22:18] uh they become quite complacent about
[1:22:20] that even though they know there are
[1:22:22] maybe things they don't make do anything
[1:22:25] about it and then you don't progress. So
[1:22:29] you don't become contented. There is
[1:22:31] actually a suta
[1:22:33] say because you have achieved this don't
[1:22:36] be just contented because you still have
[1:22:39] things to do. So because you have done
[1:22:42] the next level also don't be just
[1:22:44] contented you have to keep moving on the
[1:22:47] path until full enlightenment.
[1:22:49] But uh so dissatisfaction isn't helpful
[1:22:53] when you recognize the problems or not
[1:22:56] making progress or any kind of hurdle
[1:22:58] that you can have come to even there is
[1:23:01] dissatisfaction that comes initially.
[1:23:04] Uh you your dissatisfaction isn't going
[1:23:07] to be in your mind all the time. So
[1:23:10] whenever the mind has a little bit more
[1:23:12] clarity, a bit more calm, a little bit
[1:23:14] more peace, then find out what can I do?
[1:23:18] how can I make a move again? How can I
[1:23:22] start progressing? What's causing this
[1:23:24] issue? And um that's why we do have um
[1:23:29] spiritual friends to discuss, to talk,
[1:23:32] ask, read and uh slowly go through that.
[1:23:37] Yeah. So
[1:23:39] what now says once we once when I was
[1:23:44] very depressed and negative a woman said
[1:23:47] to me do you enjoy going through all
[1:23:50] that negative stuff that pulled me up
[1:23:54] and made me think and I appreciated it.
[1:23:57] Okay, great. Thanks. Sometimes it's just
[1:24:00] sometimes how somebody says at a time,
[1:24:02] right, is so very helpful.
[1:24:06] Uh
[1:24:09] let me just see whether there were some
[1:24:11] other comments. [clears throat]
[1:24:15] Uh
[1:24:19] okay, there's a big question or
[1:24:21] something here from Magdalina.
[1:24:24] Recently I went to a friend's concert
[1:24:28] with another friend of mine.
[1:24:33] For some reason, I started making
[1:24:37] snide comments about the way the
[1:24:39] musicians were playing. Suddenly, the
[1:24:42] friend I was sitting with me turned to
[1:24:46] me and said, "Mdalina, if you don't
[1:24:49] mind, I think I'll stay out of your
[1:24:52] heckless gallery today. It was such a
[1:24:56] good thing for me to hear." It was a
[1:24:59] wakeup call for me. Yeah, great.
[1:25:01] Sometimes you can I'm great I'm glad you
[1:25:05] t took it in a good way right because
[1:25:07] when you get a comment like that from a
[1:25:09] friend you can get really offended and
[1:25:12] really upset and they are not your
[1:25:14] friend any more but if you have a good
[1:25:17] mind you see it as a treasure yeah they
[1:25:21] caught me and that's good that's I'm
[1:25:24] grateful that's good so I'm happy to
[1:25:27] hear thanks for sharing that
[1:25:30] and Madu says Thank you for the great
[1:25:33] talk. I really enjoyed it. Okay. The
[1:25:35] story about living with Alzheimer's was
[1:25:38] inspiring and insightful. Great. Thanks.
[1:25:40] Thanks, M.
[1:25:43] All right. There are a few other
[1:25:44] comments as well. Thank you for all the
[1:25:46] nice comments
[1:25:48] and okay, Karina is also followed. Okay,
[1:25:53] good. Wonderful. Thank you all for being
[1:25:57] here. I think um Manori has something to
[1:26:00] say.
[1:26:02] >> Yeah, thank you so much vulnerable. It
[1:26:04] was such a wonderful talk and um thank
[1:26:07] you for all of the others uh the
[1:26:11] community as well for being part of the
[1:26:13] Anuka community and for coming today for
[1:26:16] the fragrance of Dharma program. So as
[1:26:19] usual I like to say a few words about
[1:26:21] dhana that is generosity because giving
[1:26:25] develop the wholesome qualities that
[1:26:27] form the foundation of our dharma
[1:26:29] practice
[1:26:31] and I'd like also to mention about anuka
[1:26:35] that anuka offer several ways to
[1:26:38] cultivate this beautiful quality of uh
[1:26:41] giving.
[1:26:43] Um the easiest way is the the financial
[1:26:47] donations where you can uh go to our
[1:26:50] website the link is in the chat. Um go
[1:26:54] to our website and um donate via bank
[1:26:58] transfers, PayPal or sum up. Um always
[1:27:02] if you are financially able you can do
[1:27:04] the standing orders and um uh if you are
[1:27:09] able and uh if you have any specialities
[1:27:11] you can volunteer with us. Uh please uh
[1:27:15] talk to email to teamarpro.org
[1:27:19] for that
[1:27:21] and the meal calendar is going to be
[1:27:24] open by uh end of October. Uh keep an
[1:27:28] eye on that. Uh so you can do um the
[1:27:32] dana you can go to the uh monastery or
[1:27:35] else you can do it remotely as well
[1:27:39] and uh you can do the sending groceries
[1:27:42] and other household items when the
[1:27:45] needed items list is open as well. And
[1:27:49] thank you so much and we'll see you next
[1:27:51] week and thank you again ya. Um it is
[1:27:55] wonderful to see you and we look forward
[1:27:57] for seeing your teachings in the
[1:28:00] Santiponas monastery.
[1:28:03] Thank you.
[1:28:05] All right, take care everybody. See you
[1:28:08] another time. Hopefully you'll all come
[1:28:10] and visit us here in Sydney in the
[1:28:12] Southern Highlands.
