Transcript
[0:00] Okay, so here I am back in Sydney with
[0:03] Venerable Nirodha who you might may or
[0:06] may not know who's uh
[0:08] >> Who's still alive?
[0:09] >> Who's still alive.
[0:11] >> [gasps]
[0:11] >> Who's one of the most senior bhikkhunis
[0:14] in Australia and she we are very very
[0:16] very blessed and fortunate and I'm to
[0:19] live with her and be with her.
[0:20] >> very very looked after and
[0:23] Thank you Lord Buddha.
[0:24] >> Yeah, so
[0:26] going to give her two cents worth on
[0:28] this talk and the topic is death. She
[0:30] loves talking about death so she's got
[0:32] to be here. It's
[0:34] >> [laughter]
[0:35] [gasps]
[0:35] >> the thing that we have the most number
[0:37] of conversations about daily.
[0:39] >> Sure, it's very important how to prepare
[0:41] for death, how to live and have it in
[0:43] mind. We think we live forever, we
[0:45] don't. Anything can happen anytime. I
[0:48] can live till 100 and she can die
[0:49] tomorrow, you know, or the other way
[0:51] around.
[0:52] Anyway, it's a good topic.
[0:54] >> It's a good topic.
[0:55] >> Yes.
[0:56] >> Okay, so let's begin with some
[0:58] meditation and I hope you're already
[1:01] in a nice quiet place
[1:04] >> [sighs]
[1:04] >> and ready to just Oh, it's yes, it's
[1:06] 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday so I presume you
[1:09] are fresh.
[1:13] >> [laughter]
[1:14] >> Let's hope the whole world is listening
[1:16] including our politicians.
[1:20] >> Okay, so
[1:22] settling back for a
[1:25] short time of letting go, a short time
[1:28] of
[1:29] allowing yourself to enjoy your own
[1:33] company.
[1:40] Okay, so
[1:42] closing your eyes.
[1:52] Just drawing inwards.
[2:04] >> Allowing yourself to
[2:08] turn off
[2:12] Turn off
[2:13] all your duties and
[2:18] things that need to be done.
[2:30] And off the mobile phone of your mind.
[2:37] And rest.
[2:42] Rest in your
[2:44] own body.
[2:47] Rest in the space that you're in.
[3:20] Oh.
[3:23] Taking a couple of deep breaths.
[3:26] In and out.
[3:33] And letting all the stale air that is at
[3:37] the bottom of our lungs right out.
[3:46] Three times. In and right out.
[4:17] >> And allowing your body to relax.
[4:46] I hope everyone can still hear me all
[4:48] right.
[4:52] Yeah, cool.
[5:00] Yeah, so just
[5:02] let's just do a simple body sleeping.
[5:08] We'll start with our our legs and our
[5:11] feet.
[5:15] And just becoming grounded in our body,
[5:18] grounding ourselves starting with our
[5:21] feet.
[5:25] Noticing that we have feet.
[5:29] And just
[5:34] seeing how they feel.
[5:41] Seeing if they need anything.
[5:48] Saying hello to them.
[5:57] Just
[5:58] getting in touch with our bodies.
[6:14] And then we're going to come to our
[6:15] legs.
[6:17] Our legs.
[6:22] See if we can feel them.
[6:31] Are they hot? Are they cold? Are they
[6:33] tingly? Are they
[6:38] Are they
[6:39] Do they exist?
[6:47] Just letting it relax.
[6:52] Being grateful to our bodies.
[6:56] Being grateful that we have legs that
[6:59] walk.
[7:06] Legs that work.
[7:16] We're not lame.
[7:32] Grateful that all our limbs
[7:37] are
[7:39] fully functional.
[7:51] >> And then moving upwards to the abdomen.
[8:07] Breathing in and out.
[8:17] Knowing that there are organs inside our
[8:20] stomach, our
[8:21] intestines that are constantly working
[8:25] for our benefit.
[8:29] May they be well and happy.
[8:39] Thank you, body.
[8:46] Thank you for keeping me alive.
[9:02] And moving upwards to our chest.
[9:05] Our heart, our lungs.
[9:11] Ah.
[9:15] And again,
[9:17] a body that
[9:19] serves us
[9:21] and so taken for granted.
[9:30] May I be well.
[9:55] >> And down our hands.
[10:01] All the way down to our fingertips.
[10:12] As much as our head does all the
[10:14] thinking
[10:16] and the what we think is all the work,
[10:18] we can't do we can't type without our
[10:21] fingers.
[10:24] We can't eat without our hands.
[10:31] So I'm so grateful.
[10:37] So grateful.
[11:18] And up our shoulders
[11:22] and our neck.
[11:26] Allowing it to release.
[11:32] Letting any
[11:34] tension that we might hold there.
[11:39] Again, just seeing how
[11:43] our body feels. Does it need anything?
[12:01] Then up to our head
[12:03] where we spend so much time.
[12:08] And just saying, "Thank you.
[12:11] Thank you, little brain, for chugging
[12:13] away.
[12:20] Thank you to my eyes that I can see.
[12:25] Without which life would be very
[12:27] difficult.
[12:36] Ears that I can hear.
[12:48] Mouth
[12:50] that I can eat. Tongue that I can
[12:53] speak.
[12:56] Nose that I can breathe.
[13:15] Thank you, dear body.
[13:20] Thank you, me.
[13:34] >> And wishing ourselves well
[13:39] from top to toe.
[14:04] And allowing yourself to breathe and
[14:06] relax.
[14:16] And turning your attention to
[14:19] whatever is your usual object of
[14:22] meditation.
[14:25] Perhaps it's loving kindness.
[14:29] Perhaps it's just
[14:31] being present.
[14:42] I tell
[14:44] trying to have
[14:45] some appreciation
[14:48] towards ourselves.
[14:57] Appreciation towards
[15:01] our breathing.
[15:03] Appreciation towards our thinking even.
[15:15] Accepting ourselves the way we are.
[15:33] >> all our flaws and idiosyncrasies.
[15:54] It's okay to be me.
[19:15] >> Mhm.
[19:39] >> Bring your mind back
[19:42] to the present moment.
[19:45] And starting again.
[20:45] Sense of goodwill towards ourselves.
[20:55] Accepting ourselves
[20:57] the way we are.
[23:05] >> Mhm.
[24:39] >> Mhm.
[24:40] Unfortunately, we have to come to end of
[24:43] the meditation.
[24:47] Just 3 minutes left to go. And so,
[24:51] making the most of the last few minutes.
[25:57] >> We end the meditation.
[26:02] I'm reflecting back and seeing where
[26:05] your mind went in the last half an hour.
[26:12] And what you have uh
[26:14] learned.
[26:17] Do you know what helps your mind to calm
[26:19] down?
[26:21] And what doesn't help your mind mind to
[26:23] calm down.
[26:50] And for me, and we share the merits of
[26:53] our
[26:54] lives, any peace we have found in our
[26:57] lives
[27:02] with
[27:03] those around us
[27:09] and ultimately all beings everywhere.
[27:20] May there be peace
[27:23] and ease in the world.
[27:32] When you're ready, you can slowly open
[27:35] your eyes.
[28:46] It was
[28:47] so uh uh
[28:50] For those who came in late,
[28:53] I have with me here Ayan Nirodha,
[28:56] who is who I live with and who is just
[28:59] one of the most lovely people to live
[29:01] with.
[29:02] >> Thank you.
[29:03] >> And the topic of today's talk is the
[29:06] topic that we talk about every day, and
[29:08] one of Ayan Nirodha's catchphrases is
[29:12] "Get your life in order."
[29:14] >> Yes.
[29:15] >> "Get your life in order. There's no time
[29:18] to lose."
[29:19] So, I was talking to her when I said,
[29:22] "What should I talk about?" And then she
[29:23] said,
[29:23] >> "Life in order in the mundane way and
[29:26] also in the spiritual way."
[29:27] >> In the mundane way and the spiritual
[29:29] way, yes.
[29:30] Yeah, that's right, cuz you never know
[29:33] when death comes.
[29:34] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[29:35] >> So, I thought it Yeah, I thought I
[29:37] >> not to think everything is good enough.
[29:39] Try to do better. Otherwise, we sit back
[29:42] and not
[29:43] not do much about it, you know? Yes.
[29:46] Mhm.
[29:48] Mhm. Okay, so
[29:51] why this topic? I'm sure we've talked
[29:53] about this topic before, but it's such a
[29:55] good one. Uh Buddhists are a bit morbid,
[29:58] it seems,
[29:59] >> [gasps]
[30:00] >> but the Buddha one of the one of the
[30:03] four protective meditations, protective
[30:07] meditations that he recommended was
[30:10] reflecting on our death.
[30:15] It's not so kind of popular, I guess, as
[30:18] a meditation, but you know, when you do
[30:21] when you do get into it,
[30:23] um you realize, "Oh my goodness, why am
[30:26] I wasting my time?"
[30:29] So,
[30:30] >> It brings balance into your life.
[30:32] >> It brings balance into your life.
[30:35] So, so why is it why is it that we find
[30:40] it Why is it that's it Why
[30:42] Why is it that we find it so hard to do?
[30:46] I mean there's something inside of us
[30:48] that somehow feels that
[30:51] I'm going to
[30:54] live forever, which is very strange, and
[30:57] I'm in charge of when I am going to die.
[30:59] Just I am in like in in charge of when
[31:02] I'm going to go out and do my shopping,
[31:04] I'm also in charge of when I'm going to
[31:06] die.
[31:07] Strange belief that we have. And we also
[31:11] believe that we have
[31:13] um you know
[31:14] >> unlimited time
[31:15] >> unlimited time. We think we have
[31:18] unlimited time to do what we want, when
[31:20] we want, how we want. But the fact of it
[31:23] is that
[31:25] um just like we can't see the sun
[31:29] going over the sky towards the horizon,
[31:33] so also our life is going across every
[31:38] moment towards the west, towards our
[31:41] passing away. We don't notice it and
[31:43] therefore we think it's not happening.
[31:46] And um and so we
[31:49] uh forget, we forget. We think we're
[31:51] going to we we think we're going to be
[31:54] there forever, and we
[31:58] um
[31:59] prioritize
[32:03] What do we prioritize? If we are going
[32:06] to die tomorrow, what will we
[32:07] prioritize? If we are going to
[32:10] uh die in 75 years, what do we
[32:12] prioritize? So
[32:14] >> even if you have illness coming, yes?
[32:16] >> Yeah, even if you have illness coming.
[32:18] So death contemplation is just a amazing
[32:22] practice that helps us to sudden to just
[32:25] bring to the forefront of our mind
[32:28] what
[32:30] what
[32:32] will happen if I go tomorrow?
[32:35] And also the fact that I may go
[32:37] tomorrow. So, um
[32:40] uh
[32:41] uh yeah.
[32:44] What do we prioritize?
[32:46] When we uh when we are in our normal
[32:49] frame of mind, we seek security
[32:53] in all sorts of things that, you know,
[32:57] um
[32:59] the Buddha said,
[33:00] "Why do I, being subject to birth,
[33:05] seek what is likewise subject to birth?
[33:09] Why, being subject to
[33:12] aging, illness, and death,
[33:15] why do I seek likewise
[33:18] what is subject to aging, illness, and
[33:22] death?"
[33:23] So, when we are alive, we
[33:26] put our put our security in things that
[33:30] actually don't really last. We put our
[33:33] security in relationships, we put our
[33:35] security in our job, we put our security
[33:37] in our partner.
[33:39] >> Temporary pleasure.
[33:40] >> Temporary. We put our We put our
[33:43] happiness, we find security in things
[33:46] that are very temporary. And so,
[33:49] we tend to um
[33:52] do things that try and try and maximize
[33:55] that. So, we we we
[33:59] search for
[34:01] we search for a job that is secure, a
[34:04] relationship that is secure, we look for
[34:07] wealth that is secure, um status that is
[34:10] secure, beauty that is secure.
[34:11] >> slave to our desires.
[34:13] >> We are slave to being
[34:15] >> As a house.
[34:16] >> being alive.
[34:18] >> We are slave to our desires.
[34:20] >> We becoming slaves to our desires.
[34:23] So, when we um
[34:25] when we when we kind of use this
[34:28] contemplation of death, we kind of
[34:31] think, "Now, what are my priorities?
[34:34] What is it that uh if I were to die
[34:38] tomorrow,
[34:39] >> What do they need to bring in order?
[34:40] >> What would I need to bring in order?
[34:42] What would I need to bring in order?
[34:44] >> To to apologize to your husband or to
[34:46] your wife.
[34:47] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[34:50] Yeah. So, and and um
[34:53] and so this practice of of uh thinking
[34:56] about death, it also it also prepares
[34:59] ourselves. Doesn't it? It prepares us
[35:02] for um
[35:04] for death.
[35:05] >> What do you find? Not sure.
[35:06] >> It prepares us for the fine bone because
[35:08] if we think everything's going to last
[35:10] forever, then when death actually does
[35:13] come,
[35:13] >> It's not a bit of a shock. Not not no
[35:15] longer a surprise when you
[35:16] >> Yeah, yeah, like like you'd be kind of
[35:18] why why you know,
[35:20] why is it happening to me? Why am I in
[35:22] hospital? I'm only 45 years old. This is
[35:25] not meant This is not meant to be. I'm
[35:26] supposed to be living for another, I
[35:29] don't know, 40, 50 years. So, first of
[35:31] all, we we are not um in in shock when
[35:35] it does happen. And also we're not um
[35:38] in
[35:39] uh shall we say, we're not we won't
[35:42] fight it when it happens.
[35:43] >> Bring your mundane and your super
[35:46] mundane your spiritual life in order.
[35:48] >> In order. We bring it in order and then
[35:50] we're not we're not going to be
[35:52] regretting anything
[35:53] >> reasonable to your reasonable best, you
[35:56] know.
[35:56] >> Yeah, yes. Do your reasonable best.
[35:58] >> two steps forward, one step back back
[36:00] back. What have we learned from our
[36:01] state? And make sure what are your
[36:03] priorities. Where you want to be at the
[36:05] end of your life. Not to be
[36:07] Can you look back with a certain
[36:09] satisfaction and you know, not to regret
[36:12] too much. Bring your life in order.
[36:14] >> Yeah.
[36:15] Yeah. Bring your life in order.
[36:18] >> And be harmless. Remem- you know, be
[36:20] more and more harmless. Yes.
[36:21] >> Yeah, right, right.
[36:23] >> No gossip, no, you know, all these kind
[36:24] of things. Just let it be.
[36:26] >> Yes.
[36:27] Yes. And also when you um
[36:30] uh
[36:31] bring your life in when you are aware of
[36:34] that, you no longer prioritizing
[36:37] prioritizing prioritizing what happens
[36:39] in this life. You're also thinking of
[36:41] what is my next life and also thinking
[36:45] of what is important for my next life.
[36:47] So what is important now, for example,
[36:50] that you know,
[36:51] perfect job or that perfect haircut
[36:54] might not be important what is important
[36:56] for my next life because the Buddha says
[36:58] what you take from this life to the next
[37:01] is your karma, isn't it? It's not It's
[37:05] not your haircut. It's not a
[37:08] dishwasher that has been emptied. It's
[37:10] actually what are the attitudes in your
[37:13] life? What
[37:15] What are the qualities of your mind?
[37:18] That is what you're going to be taking
[37:20] on from this life to the next. Don't you
[37:22] think, venerable?
[37:23] >> Yes.
[37:24] >> Yes. So
[37:26] what we
[37:27] what we work what we work on is
[37:31] different if you knew what you were
[37:33] going that, you know, I'm going to be
[37:34] gone soon. Would I be worried so
[37:37] so much about my job? Would I be worried
[37:39] so much about what some meaningless
[37:42] little little argument that we had?
[37:46] Is that important or is the qualities of
[37:49] my heart that I'm going to carry into my
[37:51] next life?
[37:52] >> peaceful mind.
[37:53] >> A peaceful mind. Peaceful mind. We'd be
[37:57] wanting to have a peaceful mind as
[37:59] opposed to
[38:01] a tidy house.
[38:02] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[38:03] >> Yeah?
[38:03] >> Yeah.
[38:03] >> Yes.
[38:05] Yes.
[38:07] I was watching with venerable Nirodha
[38:09] she I don't know what to do. Anyway,
[38:11] these virtuosos of violinists, these
[38:14] little six or seven year olds but I
[38:16] thought it was me watching virtuosos of
[38:18] violinists. But anyway, these little six
[38:20] or seven year olds who are
[38:22] prodigies,
[38:24] prodigies. And how much of our life
[38:27] their lives is are spent just
[38:31] you know, becoming more and more
[38:32] skilled, more and more
[38:36] talented at playing the violin.
[38:39] Is that something that you could carry
[38:41] on to your next life if you if you if
[38:44] you did believe that you know, you were
[38:46] going to be born again? Is that what you
[38:48] would spend your life doing? Practicing
[38:50] the violin?
[38:52] I I wonder. Or becoming a better and
[38:54] better
[38:56] I don't know, scientist? I mean, maybe
[38:59] it is good to be a good scientist, but
[39:00] is that what would carry what is worth
[39:03] carrying on to your next life? Or is it
[39:07] the qualities of your heart? The peace
[39:10] of mind, the kindness, the
[39:13] forgiveness?
[39:15] What is worth carrying on?
[39:17] >> Do you want to end suffering?
[39:20] Do you want to end suffering?
[39:22] >> Do you want to end suffering? Right.
[39:25] Right.
[39:25] >> And even wanting is suffering because we
[39:27] don't always get what we you know, what
[39:29] we want and so on and so on.
[39:31] Yeah.
[39:33] Okay.
[39:34] >> Okay.
[39:35] >> What from the from the audience? Any
[39:36] questions from the audience?
[39:38] >> They're all silently listening. They're
[39:40] all soaking it in.
[39:42] Oh, Richard, there you are. Dear
[39:44] Richard, please unmute.
[39:51] >> No.
[39:52] He has to say something.
[39:53] >> Yeah. No, he has to he has to be asked
[39:55] to unmute and he has to unmute.
[39:58] Yeah, I have an announcement. See you.
[40:00] Hope you're enjoying your stay.
[40:03] Um basically, um so last December, you
[40:07] know,
[40:09] I must I I had to I had to see the
[40:12] Kahora and the band to have
[40:14] choose band to suggest that you actually
[40:16] put on your wall
[40:18] the five subjects for recollection.
[40:21] >> Mhm.
[40:22] >> It's really good, actually.
[40:24] So,
[40:25] um
[40:26] it's really nice to sort of see it every
[40:29] day. Doesn't mean to say that I take any
[40:31] notice,
[40:32] but as well, most times,
[40:35] but it's still um nice to reflect on my
[40:39] own nature to age, and not going to be
[40:42] in a aging, and my nature to get in, you
[40:44] know,
[40:45] and my nature to die,
[40:48] um blah, blah, blah.
[40:50] And like I say, sometimes really
[40:53] um hits me when the Buddha said that
[40:55] everybody has
[40:57] had so many tears,
[40:59] shed so many tears that it could fill
[41:02] the ocean right up to the top.
[41:05] So, what's the point of um
[41:08] you know, being so attached
[41:10] like to your family, for example? Cuz
[41:13] how many families have you had?
[41:16] How many people have you How many nieces
[41:19] and nephews and sisters and brothers
[41:21] that you loved very much, and your
[41:24] father and mother you might not like in
[41:26] this life, but previous lives you might
[41:28] have loved. And then you think, "Well,
[41:31] you know,
[41:32] it it it really does
[41:33] >> know, there there there's a difference
[41:35] between attachment and responsibility.
[41:38] >> Yeah, as well. Yeah.
[41:40] >> True, true, true. Isn't it? Yeah.
[41:41] >> Yeah, it helps. Yeah.
[41:43] >> There there's responsibility, but not
[41:45] that sort of desperate needing for them
[41:47] to be happy.
[41:48] >> Yes. Yes.
[41:49] >> Yeah.
[41:50] >> Yeah.
[41:52] >> So, that's what that's what um I find
[41:54] very helpful sometimes.
[41:56] >> Right, right.
[41:57] >> that it was very common, yeah.
[41:58] >> This for everybody, the five reflections
[42:01] are and really I mean, you think of it
[42:03] in a silly I remember my grandfather
[42:06] used to make little He was a sort of
[42:08] devout Buddhist. He made little
[42:10] um
[42:11] uh cards with these five reflections,
[42:14] and he used to hand them out to his
[42:15] friends. I kind of thought
[42:18] Um, but the five reflections are
[42:20] I am subject to aging, I have not gone
[42:25] beyond aging. I am subject to illness, I
[42:28] have not gone beyond illness. I am
[42:31] subject to death, I have not gone beyond
[42:34] death.
[42:35] All that is mine, beloved and pleasing
[42:39] will become otherwise, will become
[42:42] separated from me.
[42:44] And the last one, all that I do for good
[42:48] or ill, of that I will be the heir. That
[42:51] means I am the
[42:53] all that I do, karma good and bad karma,
[42:57] of that I will be the heir.
[43:00] The heir. So, those are the five
[43:02] reflections.
[43:03] See,
[43:04] really, uh, powerful because, um,
[43:09] uh,
[43:10] >> It makes you responsible.
[43:12] >> It makes you responsible for your
[43:13] actions.
[43:15] Yeah. Yeah.
[43:18] Yeah.
[43:19] >> And you can't blame anybody else. Don't
[43:21] be Don't stop blaming, but she's Yes.
[43:24] >> Yes.
[43:25] >> Own up to your own karma and try not to
[43:27] repeat your mistakes. Just to try to
[43:29] improve
[43:30] every little way.
[43:33] >> Okay.
[43:34] Anyone Anyone else?
[43:36] Yes.
[43:37] Anyone else has has said something to
[43:40] say right now or I will carry on?
[43:43] >> Say or criticize. I mean, even if
[43:45] somebody wants to criticize, please do.
[43:48] We're here to discuss it.
[43:50] >> Uh, Benjamin, yes.
[43:55] >> Hello. I was just thinking about the
[43:57] prodigy violinists.
[44:00] >> Yeah.
[44:00] >> Um,
[44:01] I wouldn't call myself a prodigy and I
[44:03] didn't play the violin, but I became a
[44:05] professional musician at age 14.
[44:08] >> Oh, wow.
[44:09] >> And um
[44:10] I became a Buddhist.
[44:13] So, I started getting interested around
[44:15] age 10 or so in meditation and Buddhism.
[44:17] >> Oh, right.
[44:19] >> So, I came to I started studying music
[44:22] first.
[44:24] And actually, I found that studying
[44:25] music was a very good preparation for
[44:28] studying meditation.
[44:30] Uh
[44:31] >> Yeah.
[44:31] I can see that.
[44:32] >> requires
[44:33] >> Yes.
[44:34] >> It requires a certain quality of
[44:36] attention
[44:38] and an understanding of how
[44:42] how your attention and what you do with
[44:45] it will develop over time.
[44:47] >> Mhm.
[44:47] >> And uh
[44:49] there are subtleties in music which of
[44:52] course, it's not as subtle as the mind,
[44:54] but it's heading in that direction
[44:56] relative to most of what we experience
[44:58] day-to-day.
[45:00] So, yes, it was just uh something I
[45:02] thought of just now that
[45:03] >> Interesting. Interesting.
[45:04] >> Music seems very compatible with at
[45:06] least the early stages of spiritual
[45:08] practice.
[45:09] >> Yeah, right. But also but you were also
[45:12] a meditator at the age of 10. So, I
[45:14] don't think that the little virtuoso
[45:16] violinist is necessarily as wise as you
[45:19] are.
[45:19] Um anything that you do, I guess if you
[45:22] take the dharma take it as a ex- a
[45:25] practice of of um focusing your mind, I
[45:28] guess what if so many things can be
[45:30] useful. But of course, if you don't have
[45:32] that and you simply just want to be
[45:33] clever at it, um then it is not so much
[45:38] a dharma practice. But you're right,
[45:39] when if you get your fingers running up
[45:42] and down like that, you have to be you
[45:44] have to be attentive and you have to be
[45:46] noticing your your um the state of your
[45:48] mind as well, not just just the sort of
[45:52] skill of it.
[45:54] >> Is it spiritual exercise?
[45:56] >> Yes, from Hannah.
[45:58] Um she goes, "How do you look back and
[46:01] be satisfied with the life when you've
[46:04] lived a life of heavy trauma since
[46:06] birth?
[46:08] Wow. Okay.
[46:10] Okay.
[46:12] Wow, that is a very difficult question.
[46:14] Right.
[46:16] Um
[46:19] Mhm.
[46:22] Perhaps it is
[46:25] Oh, let's see. Where Where is Hannah?
[46:27] Where is Hannah?
[46:28] >> [clears throat]
[46:28] >> Listen to appreciate that you have done
[46:31] that you have dealt reasonably well with
[46:32] your traumas, you know?
[46:33] >> Yeah, I know.
[46:35] >> That you are sitting here, that you
[46:36] haven't become a criminal, that you have
[46:38] somehow
[46:39] >> Yes. Yes. Yes.
[46:41] >> You have a take back, but you can look
[46:43] towards a good future.
[46:46] >> Mhm. That's
[46:47] But can you find some space place where
[46:50] you can appreciate all the effort that
[46:53] you have made?
[46:54] >> Yes, you have paid your debt.
[46:56] >> Yeah.
[46:57] >> You have paid your debt. Finish.
[46:58] >> Yeah.
[46:59] Yeah.
[47:02] Yeah.
[47:05] Mhm.
[47:08] Yes.
[47:09] I'm not really sure
[47:11] what to say. It's uh
[47:14] It's a
[47:15] >> Don't dwell too much in it. Go into some
[47:18] positive way, into some spiritual thing
[47:20] or some classical music. Just get out of
[47:23] that raft of the same thing playing all
[47:26] over again. Yes. Yes.
[47:28] Learn from it, but then move on if you
[47:30] can possibly need some help.
[47:32] Ask yourself or with other people.
[47:36] You know, yes. Yes.
[47:37] >> Counseling, we have to learn. We have to
[47:40] We have to focus on all the good
[47:42] qualities of ourselves.
[47:45] Yes, Manori.
[47:47] Uh
[47:49] I was thinking about Hannah's question.
[47:52] I mean, this is
[47:54] This is not the day-to-day normal
[47:57] thinking like it might come as like not
[48:00] at all emotional but if you think about
[48:03] the cause and effect of Buddha Dharma
[48:05] like you know
[48:07] do
[48:08] in a long long samsara um we would have
[48:12] all done all kind of things. We would
[48:14] have been the perpetrators so many times
[48:17] and then we would have been the victim
[48:20] so many times. So
[48:22] um it's a bit of a hard thing to think
[48:25] for a person who is like who has
[48:28] got become the victim in this life. So
[48:31] how do you be gentle to yourself and um
[48:35] thinking that way as well.
[48:38] >> Mhm.
[48:39] Yeah.
[48:40] Yeah.
[48:42] Well if we are in a reasonably good
[48:43] circumstances we are human beings you
[48:46] know if you have need medical attention
[48:48] we have it there but just move forward.
[48:51] Don't drown in the past but move forward
[48:54] and let it go. The matter of it is as I
[48:57] said and done is two steps forward one
[48:59] step backwards but keep on going. And
[49:02] seek help if you necessary need some
[49:04] help. There are friends or social things
[49:06] but never give up.
[49:08] >> Mhm.
[49:09] >> Cuz at the end of the day
[49:11] you can say I have tried. That I want to
[49:13] die at least I have tried. I may not
[49:16] have come to the top but at least I have
[49:18] tried. And as I said you know if we
[49:20] someone make mistakes we we do charge at
[49:23] the point
[49:24] everything can have many different
[49:26] angles. You can look at it in many
[49:28] angles yeah.
[49:30] So just appreciate your goodness and um
[49:33] moving forward you know moving forward.
[49:35] >> Mhm.
[49:35] >> And see everything as a confirmation of
[49:37] the Buddha's teaching.
[49:39] >> Yeah.
[49:40] >> Try to prove the Buddha wrong.
[49:42] >> [laughter]
[49:42] [gasps]
[49:43] >> Okay yeah thank you very well. Thank
[49:46] [clears throat] you.
[49:48] >> Okay so um
[49:50] loving kindness there you
[49:52] Julie says loving kindness.
[49:55] May you be able to have that for
[49:57] yourself.
[49:59] Okay, so now how do we
[50:02] um
[50:03] how do we get our minds to get around
[50:05] this business of practicing
[50:08] uh
[50:09] uh practicing
[50:10] um reflecting on death. So, um
[50:14] you know
[50:15] um it's something you can do every day.
[50:18] The Buddha actually does recommend doing
[50:20] it every day, possibly in the morning
[50:22] when you wake up, but um
[50:25] some ways of reflecting that you're
[50:27] going to die is, for example, thinking
[50:31] everyone
[50:33] I know, everyone in everyone ever
[50:37] existed, whether were Caesars, whether
[50:40] were emperors, whether they were, you
[50:42] know, presidents, everyone
[50:46] has died.
[50:48] And there is no way you can you can
[50:51] bargain with it. You can't uh slip a few
[50:54] dollars and you know say, you know, I'll
[50:57] I'll
[50:57] uh
[50:58] put it for another day. You can't use
[51:00] any clever advertising and um that as
[51:03] the Buddha says, death may come who
[51:06] knows no bargaining with mortality can
[51:09] keep him and and his hordes away. So,
[51:14] uh
[51:15] it comes
[51:17] as
[51:19] like the Buddha says, an assassin
[51:23] with his sword drawn. Death can come to
[51:27] you at any moment. So, can we um
[51:31] use different reflections to to to sort
[51:35] of make it real in our minds that this
[51:38] is not going to last forever?
[51:41] Um
[51:43] also the time and place of our death is
[51:46] never known. We never know we could die
[51:48] the
[51:49] we could die in a car accident tomorrow
[51:52] and it could be
[51:54] um in the in a hospital we might get
[51:57] cancer. So
[51:59] >> Try to bring your life in order and live
[52:01] harmless.
[52:02] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[52:03] >> Yeah. Live harmless and be
[52:04] compassionate. All the good qualities we
[52:07] have still time to practice for a little
[52:08] bit.
[52:09] >> But how venerable can you make your mind
[52:11] more
[52:12] um
[52:13] alive to the fact that you might die?
[52:15] How can you How can you make it real in
[52:18] your mind?
[52:22] >> First look out there and nights are
[52:24] passing. Everything is passing. You know
[52:26] of course we don't want we we refuse to
[52:29] think that we will die one day, you
[52:31] know? But look all around the death is
[52:33] all around us. So it's not something to
[52:36] be afraid or scared of but just
[52:38] to live with the
[52:40] everything is coming and going,
[52:42] you know?
[52:44] So we live that accordingly, we make do
[52:45] our best and we do try not to as little
[52:48] harm as possible as we live.
[52:50] And
[52:52] enjoy life. It's not saying not to enjoy
[52:54] life.
[52:55] But know that it's part part and parcel.
[52:57] It will not You know, you cannot buy
[52:59] happiness.
[53:00] You cannot buy everlasting thing we you
[53:03] know.
[53:03] >> Yeah.
[53:05] Um I I I do little things to remind
[53:08] myself like I notice my hair is growing
[53:10] gray.
[53:11] I notice things I notice when I'm when
[53:14] when things don't go right.
[53:17] Um reminds me reminds me okay, I'm
[53:20] actually growing old.
[53:22] Um
[53:23] yeah.
[53:24] >> But then you can see the whole world or
[53:26] the people around it is growing old.
[53:28] >> Yeah.
[53:28] >> Constantly we are in a
[53:30] in a in a
[53:32] situation of moving. You know the the
[53:34] the four seasons come everything day and
[53:36] night comes. All these things just
[53:38] constantly movement.
[53:40] >> Right.
[53:40] >> And of course we want things permanent
[53:42] because we want permanent happiness,
[53:44] don't we? That which is very natural.
[53:46] Yeah. We don't want to be sick.
[53:48] But um so not to be morbid, but
[53:51] look at the realities of life and do
[53:53] your best under any given circumstances,
[53:56] you know?
[53:58] >> Okay, we have a nice few nice
[54:00] >> Any questions from the audience? Yeah,
[54:02] yeah.
[54:03] >> We have a few nice little comments here.
[54:05] Um Guru Richard says, "Guru Rinpoche was
[54:08] once asked, what will our next birth and
[54:11] life be like?" He answered that how you
[54:14] live your life now will condition how
[54:17] your life will become in uh your next
[54:22] life.
[54:23] Also, our last life
[54:26] became our life now. So, what you're
[54:28] doing now is what you're going to be in
[54:31] your next life. So, what you're putting
[54:32] into your mind now is what's going to be
[54:34] coming out in your next life.
[54:38] Thank you. Uh
[54:39] and then
[54:41] uh
[54:42] the Tennessee says, "The thing with life
[54:44] is no one makes it out alive." Yes, no
[54:48] one makes it out alive.
[54:50] >> Yeah.
[54:51] >> And Vasantha aunt says, "The Buddha
[54:55] Ratana Sutta says, let go of the dead
[54:58] past and the unborn future. Watch the
[55:01] present state of mind."
[55:04] >> a very good one. That's a very good
[55:06] thing. Yeah. Thank you. I haven't heard
[55:07] it before.
[55:08] >> Yes, that's the Buddha Ratana Sutta.
[55:09] Yeah.
[55:10] Yes.
[55:12] Okay.
[55:14] So, um the Buddha also has a few suttas
[55:18] on how to reflect on um the
[55:23] how to reflect on death.
[55:26] And uh there's a it's called the
[55:28] Maranasati Sutta.
[55:30] And uh so he asks
[55:33] asks his monks,
[55:36] um how would you develop mindfulness of
[55:40] death?
[55:41] And the the first monk answers,
[55:44] "As long as it takes to eat a meal.
[55:49] I'd focus on the Buddha's instructions
[55:52] and I could achieve a lot."
[55:56] And the second monk answers, "As long as
[55:59] it takes to eat four or five mouthfuls.
[56:04] I'll focus on the Buddha's instructions
[56:07] and I could achieve a lot."
[56:10] And the third monk says, "As long as it
[56:13] takes to chew and swallow one mouthful
[56:16] of food, I'll focus on the Buddha's
[56:18] instructions and I could achieve a lot."
[56:24] And the and so, but the Buddha says,
[56:30] "The last monk says,
[56:34] I'd on if only I
[56:37] I'd live as long as it takes to breathe
[56:40] out after breathing in, then I'd focus
[56:44] on the Buddha's instructions and I could
[56:47] achieve a lot."
[56:50] So, the moment that it takes for to just
[56:53] breathe in and out, that is
[56:57] as long as you're going to be alive.
[56:59] That is
[57:01] that is the real practice of reflecting
[57:04] on death. That's according to the
[57:05] Buddha.
[57:07] What do you think, venerable?
[57:08] >> Yes, also because you see impermanence
[57:10] in you know, you you you experience
[57:12] impermanence.
[57:13] >> Yeah.
[57:14] >> Isn't our life constantly movement? Yes,
[57:17] isn't it? Yes.
[57:18] >> And we we we're ready to go. We're ready
[57:21] to go with the next breath.
[57:23] >> Well, that's the thing.
[57:24] Are you are you ready to go with the
[57:26] next breath?
[57:28] >> Yeah.
[57:31] And uh
[57:33] >> But that doesn't mean not to enjoy life
[57:35] while life is there, but make the best
[57:37] of the situation, but no, it doesn't
[57:38] last forever, you know? It can change
[57:41] anytime. And above all, be harmless. Be
[57:44] harmless to yourself and to the people
[57:46] around you.
[57:47] >> That's right.
[57:52] Okay.
[57:53] >> from the audience anymore.
[57:54] >> Okay, yes, there's there's Plenty of
[57:57] here.
[57:57] >> There's, uh
[57:59] >> Okay, Richard says, "When you look at a
[58:01] clock, you you can notice the minute
[58:04] hand is moving all the time. Therefore,
[58:07] it shows the change in time and also
[58:10] your life is also changing." Yeah, yeah,
[58:14] yeah, yeah.
[58:15] Thank you.
[58:17] >> So, look at the inner there's staying
[58:18] there. There's nothing constant really,
[58:20] is there? Yes.
[58:25] What does it mean to get things in
[58:26] order? That's a very good question. Look
[58:28] the next one.
[58:29] >> Yes, very well. What does it mean to get
[58:31] things in order?
[58:34] >> First of all,
[58:36] get things in order, make sure that you
[58:37] have, um
[58:39] that your family, that everything is
[58:40] around, that you have done your best.
[58:42] Getting things in order also, look at
[58:44] your faults and try not to repeat them.
[58:47] And be ready for death. That means
[58:49] getting things in order.
[58:50] >> What about your What about, um,
[58:53] relationships you've had? Relationships?
[58:56] Perhaps you're upset with someone.
[58:58] >> Well,
[59:00] you're upset today, tomorrow you're not
[59:02] upset. And the other way around, how
[59:03] much they upset with us. So, try to have
[59:07] a generous and forgiving heart. Yes?
[59:09] Generous and forgiving heart. And if you
[59:12] can't change anybody, let them be and
[59:14] just move on. Make sure that that you
[59:17] are going in the right direction towards
[59:19] liberation.
[59:21] You can't take everybody with you. I
[59:22] mean, if the Buddha could have liberated
[59:24] everybody, he would have done so. So,
[59:26] you give the teaching, you do your best,
[59:28] and then you move on. But by the same
[59:30] token, you also have to protect
[59:32] yourself. You're not there to be kind of
[59:35] be a mat a doormat to be trod on. Make
[59:38] sure that you have some quality time and
[59:41] some respect for your own actions and
[59:43] respect for others.
[59:45] >> True. We just spend so much time on on
[59:49] your work if you would
[59:51] >> You have to work because you have to
[59:52] make a living, you know, all that. But
[59:54] try to be as harmless as possible
[59:58] and try to focus more on important
[59:59] things and others. Don't dance at every
[1:00:02] party.
[1:00:03] >> [laughter]
[1:00:05] >> That's a good one.
[1:00:06] That's a good one. But ask yourself what
[1:00:09] do ask yourself what does it mean to get
[1:00:12] things in order? What would you put in
[1:00:14] order?
[1:00:17] Does Karma have something to say?
[1:00:20] >> Putting things in order first of all, if
[1:00:23] you need to apologize you've done
[1:00:24] something wrong which we all have, try
[1:00:26] to apologize, try to make up for it if
[1:00:28] you can and just be generous all around,
[1:00:32] you know? You can see the suffering of
[1:00:33] everybody. If people are doing bad
[1:00:36] things to you,
[1:00:37] then
[1:00:39] as I had I think it was Ajahn Brahm or
[1:00:41] somebody said there was a woman who was
[1:00:43] very badly treated by her husband or
[1:00:45] whatever or could be any could be the
[1:00:47] man also treated badly.
[1:00:49] And so the monk said,
[1:00:52] "I really I can see your trouble and I
[1:00:54] can't but I can't help you but I can
[1:00:57] tell you Karma will get the bastard."
[1:01:00] >> [laughter]
[1:01:01] >> So, we don't wish it upon anybody but
[1:01:04] there is such a thing. Why are some
[1:01:06] people fortunate people are not?
[1:01:08] We are the the owners of our Karma. We
[1:01:11] are the owners of our Karma but we don't
[1:01:14] know how much Karma we've done in the
[1:01:15] past. So, our future is uncertain, you
[1:01:19] know? So, we make the we I to try to
[1:01:21] make the best long as the going is good.
[1:01:24] You know? At least we try. I'm not
[1:01:26] saying we're making it. Try to make the
[1:01:28] best. Okay, enough. Over to the young
[1:01:30] man.
[1:01:30] >> Okay, come in. Come in. What do you have
[1:01:32] to say?
[1:01:35] >> But you have already a lot of
[1:01:38] valuable tips.
[1:01:40] Um [clears throat] I can take me um
[1:01:43] because um
[1:01:44] um with this topic, my automatic
[1:01:48] response is always oh my god, I'm not
[1:01:50] doing enough.
[1:01:52] I have to do a lot more.
[1:01:54] And so um
[1:01:57] I need to approach that topic with I
[1:02:00] guess a lot of gentleness
[1:02:03] because um
[1:02:05] I'm an overdoer. I overdo everything,
[1:02:09] which led me to a to a state of chronic
[1:02:11] fatigue in my life now.
[1:02:13] But
[1:02:14] the moment that the automatic response
[1:02:16] is like nearly panic, oh my god, okay, I
[1:02:20] should sit 3 hours today or I should
[1:02:23] volunteer for hospice work or what else
[1:02:26] should I do? And then I
[1:02:29] come back to the simple things like when
[1:02:33] we were both said, be harmless, be
[1:02:37] things like that. But um
[1:02:39] that is more my problem that I always
[1:02:41] have a feeling I'm not doing enough. Oh
[1:02:45] my god, uh I hope I get out of this life
[1:02:48] and into the next in a good way because
[1:02:51] I could do much more, but I'm restricted
[1:02:54] in
[1:02:56] in my doing.
[1:02:58] >> Right, right, right. All these
[1:03:00] practices, they have to be
[1:03:02] used in moderation and in the right way.
[1:03:05] So, if you're using the practice and it
[1:03:07] makes you more agitated and more sort of
[1:03:10] overdoes your
[1:03:12] solidifies your already overdoing
[1:03:15] tendencies, then you know, you have to
[1:03:17] sort of moderate the practice and say,
[1:03:19] "Okay, it's not very helpful for me to
[1:03:21] think this way right now."
[1:03:23] So, yeah. The The point is that any
[1:03:26] practice should lead to a to the mind
[1:03:28] becoming more letting go, more at ease,
[1:03:31] more at um
[1:03:33] uh something that uh
[1:03:35] is uh content and is not so much
[1:03:39] creating. So, yes. So, you have to be
[1:03:42] careful with any practice.
[1:03:45] Yes.
[1:03:47] Um
[1:03:52] And any
[1:03:53] I I have a a really nice little
[1:03:56] uh reflection that was it's a it was
[1:04:00] when my grandmother was living, you
[1:04:03] know, I had moved to the nursing home.
[1:04:04] There was only one little painting that
[1:04:08] was left on her wall. And it went
[1:04:11] something like this.
[1:04:13] Um
[1:04:15] In the end, what matters most is
[1:04:21] how well did you live?
[1:04:25] How well did you love?
[1:04:29] How well did you learn to let go?
[1:04:33] >> To forgive.
[1:04:34] To forgive. Yes, yes.
[1:04:37] >> How well did you live?
[1:04:41] How well did you love?
[1:04:45] How well did you learn to let go?
[1:04:50] I really like those three. It actually
[1:04:52] is a
[1:04:53] um
[1:04:54] very nice summary of uh
[1:04:57] the
[1:04:58] sort of basics of Buddhist teaching.
[1:05:00] >> go of negativity.
[1:05:01] >> Let go of negativity. So, the first one,
[1:05:04] how well did you live, is how well were
[1:05:08] you How was your How were your ethics?
[1:05:11] You know, were you harmless person? Did
[1:05:14] you keep your precepts? Did you hurt
[1:05:16] people by words? Were your actions um
[1:05:20] beneficial? So, how well did you live
[1:05:23] all your sort of ethical actions?
[1:05:27] And then the second one, how well did
[1:05:29] you love, is you know, that that um
[1:05:33] heart of meta, that heart of kindness,
[1:05:36] developing the the um
[1:05:39] Brahma viharas,
[1:05:41] um
[1:05:42] developing that soft mind, that caring
[1:05:45] mind, a mind that is just um
[1:05:48] yeah,
[1:05:49] um
[1:05:50] looks after others.
[1:05:52] So, how well did you live? How well did
[1:05:54] you love? And the third one, I think, is
[1:05:57] the one that we don't really think
[1:05:58] about, how well did you learn to let go?
[1:06:02] How well did you learn to let go is what
[1:06:04] we don't do, isn't it? Let go of any
[1:06:06] bless as said, to forgive, to
[1:06:10] um let go of those things that actually
[1:06:12] never belonged to you in the first
[1:06:14] place.
[1:06:15] Your children, your um
[1:06:17] >> And don't make big things out of small
[1:06:19] things.
[1:06:20] >> Don't make big things out of small
[1:06:21] things, yeah. How well did you learn to
[1:06:24] let go of that which never belonged to
[1:06:26] you in the first place?
[1:06:29] So, I really like that as a sort of um
[1:06:32] bring in terms of bringing your life in
[1:06:34] order.
[1:06:35] >> Mhm.
[1:06:35] >> How well did you live? How well did you
[1:06:38] love? And how well did you learn to let
[1:06:40] go?
[1:06:42] What do you think, venerable?
[1:06:43] >> Yes, and also at the end of the day, try
[1:06:45] to live your life or try to live your
[1:06:47] day that you don't have regrets or not
[1:06:49] too many regrets. And if you can, try
[1:06:51] [clears throat] to undo them, yes.
[1:06:52] >> Right, right, right.
[1:06:54] >> That is peace of mind which you can't
[1:06:56] buy at the supermarket.
[1:06:57] >> Right, right. And how much did you care
[1:06:59] for the people around you?
[1:07:01] >> Care with wisdom, you know, because we
[1:07:03] are
[1:07:04] >> Yeah.
[1:07:05] >> Yeah. Okay, enough.
[1:07:07] >> [laughter]
[1:07:10] >> Okay, here we go. We have some nice
[1:07:12] comments here. Um
[1:07:16] Uh
[1:07:17] Jerica says, "I feel for you, Carmen.
[1:07:19] That reminds me of the saying, 'Grant me
[1:07:21] the serenity to accept the things I
[1:07:24] cannot change,
[1:07:27] the courage to change the things I can,
[1:07:31] and the wisdom to know the difference.'"
[1:07:34] >> That was That was That was very famous
[1:07:36] quote.
[1:07:37] Yeah.
[1:07:37] >> it's the last part, the wisdom to to
[1:07:40] tell the diff- to tell the difference. I
[1:07:43] guess I still have a lot to learn there.
[1:07:46] >> We all have. We all have, Philip. We try
[1:07:48] to do our best under the given
[1:07:50] circumstances. Not try to be more what
[1:07:52] we are, but realize that we do make
[1:07:55] mistakes and our misjudgments. You know,
[1:07:57] this is part of our human existence.
[1:08:00] But try to move on and try to move
[1:08:01] forward.
[1:08:03] >> Okay.
[1:08:04] >> Okay.
[1:08:05] >> And David has something nice to say.
[1:08:07] "When I am experiencing difficulties, I
[1:08:10] use AI for help. For example, I just
[1:08:13] checked it typed into Chat GPT, 'What
[1:08:16] sutras help with trauma?' And it came up
[1:08:18] with Sal the Sutta is in 36.6 and a list
[1:08:23] of others. Okay, so I knew psychologist
[1:08:26] and Dharma teacher, Chat GPT is also
[1:08:29] very helpful."
[1:08:33] >> [laughter and gasps]
[1:08:33] >> Oh, I don't know what to say to that. I
[1:08:35] do the same thing.
[1:08:38] >> [laughter]
[1:08:39] [gasps]
[1:08:39] >> Yes. Who needs friends when you can have
[1:08:42] a robot?
[1:08:43] >> So, can the can the robot get
[1:08:45] enlightened?
[1:08:46] >> I don't know, but it seems to help
[1:08:47] others to get enlightened.
[1:08:50] It's a weird world, but yes,
[1:08:53] heck, if it's working, why not?
[1:08:58] Okay, and let's see. Does anyone else
[1:09:01] have anything to say?
[1:09:04] Um
[1:09:05] Yeah.
[1:09:07] Yeah, so I really like that. How well
[1:09:09] did you live? How well did you love? How
[1:09:12] well did you learn to let go? That's a
[1:09:15] really nice three to remember.
[1:09:18] Barbara, yeah.
[1:09:27] Barbara, do go ahead and unmute
[1:09:29] yourself.
[1:09:30] >> I'm now on [clears throat] mute. So,
[1:09:32] it's interesting the whole letting go
[1:09:33] piece. So,
[1:09:36] I was in London for a few days
[1:09:39] um last weekend.
[1:09:41] And since I've been back, I've been
[1:09:43] carrying It's like the letting go like
[1:09:46] what Why am I holding on to all of this
[1:09:48] nonsense?
[1:09:49] I'm like holding on to
[1:09:52] >> [clears throat]
[1:09:52] >> interactions that I was having with
[1:09:54] people that I've known since I went to
[1:09:56] college university in London back in the
[1:10:00] day.
[1:10:01] And um
[1:10:02] so, there are people that I've known for
[1:10:04] many, many years. And at the same time,
[1:10:07] I'm like I see the you know, we all grow
[1:10:10] and change over time.
[1:10:12] And hopefully
[1:10:14] um
[1:10:15] and I'm I was uh holding on to these
[1:10:17] these interactions for the past four or
[1:10:20] five days and I've kept saying to
[1:10:22] myself, what is happening here? And then
[1:10:24] I tried to make meaning from it.
[1:10:26] So, any words of wisdom around how to
[1:10:29] let go of carrying
[1:10:33] conversations and or interactions that
[1:10:36] maybe felt unsettling for myself.
[1:10:39] >> Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.
[1:10:41] Right.
[1:10:42] Um sometimes I find, you know, it's the
[1:10:45] story that is keeping the interact It's
[1:10:49] keeping the whole drama alive. And um
[1:10:53] to go back to just
[1:10:56] letting [clears throat] that story go,
[1:10:58] You know, just going
[1:10:59] not going back to the feeling,
[1:11:03] going back to the the the sensation of
[1:11:06] some kind of agitation or some kind of
[1:11:09] like just unsettleness
[1:11:12] and just allowing yourself to be with
[1:11:15] that unpleasant sensation, that sense of
[1:11:18] being unsafe maybe, the sense of being
[1:11:21] incomplete and saying it's okay to feel
[1:11:25] not all right.
[1:11:27] And letting being with the feeling as
[1:11:30] opposed to being with the the the
[1:11:32] conversation that goes around and
[1:11:34] around. And after a while you realize
[1:11:36] you you you get um
[1:11:39] um
[1:11:40] believing the story is what the problem
[1:11:44] is.
[1:11:45] Buying into the story time and time
[1:11:47] again. But if we can sort of drop the
[1:11:50] story and just be with that sort of like
[1:11:52] just vulnerability,
[1:11:54] then we're more willing to sort of um
[1:11:57] let it go. I don't know if that's
[1:11:59] helpful.
[1:12:00] >> When you said complete
[1:12:02] something really resonated for me. I was
[1:12:04] like, "Aha." If things feel incomplete,
[1:12:07] that's okay. Just let that be there.
[1:12:10] >> Right. Right. Right. Right.
[1:12:13] >> need to take it on as though
[1:12:15] excuse me, I have to figure it out or
[1:12:17] just like, "Okay, it's okay. Need to
[1:12:19] move move on. Let go."
[1:12:21] >> Yeah, it's okay to be not okay.
[1:12:25] >> That's right.
[1:12:26] >> Yeah. Yes.
[1:12:29] Yes.
[1:12:34] And anybody else
[1:12:38] has any comments on this
[1:12:40] with this topic of of reflecting on
[1:12:42] death?
[1:12:46] Mhm.
[1:12:50] Mhm.
[1:12:55] So, um the Buddha has another sutta,
[1:12:57] marana another marana sutta. And this is
[1:13:01] Anguttara Nikaya 6.20.
[1:13:04] The one right after, and it goes,
[1:13:07] "Suppose your clothes or head were on
[1:13:11] fire.
[1:13:12] In order to extinguish it, you'd apply
[1:13:15] extraordinary enthusiasm, effort, zeal,
[1:13:19] vigor, perseverance, mindfulness, and um
[1:13:22] awareness."
[1:13:25] So, in the same way, in order to give up
[1:13:28] those bad, unskillful qualities, the
[1:13:32] mendicant should apply extraordinary
[1:13:34] effort, zeal, vigor, perseverance,
[1:13:37] mindfulness, and awareness.
[1:13:40] That is how you
[1:13:43] uh
[1:13:44] practice reflecting on death.
[1:13:47] Just as though your head were on fire.
[1:13:51] If your head were on fire, that is um
[1:13:54] you would a- apply extraordinary effort,
[1:13:59] enthusiasm, zeal, vigor, and
[1:14:01] perseverance. Would you do the same um
[1:14:05] with your life, with your this the state
[1:14:08] of your mind?
[1:14:11] Yeah. So, that is another reflection on
[1:14:15] on death that the Buddha asked us to
[1:14:18] use.
[1:14:23] Yes.
[1:14:26] Okay. So, um there's there's uh
[1:14:30] I don't know.
[1:14:32] Yeah, anything anyone
[1:14:35] has anything um anything to reflect on?
[1:14:41] Um has there anything been especially
[1:14:43] useful or something to share.
[1:14:48] Manori.
[1:14:51] >> Um can you
[1:14:55] explain a little bit on how the
[1:14:57] maranasati helps in
[1:15:01] the quality of your day-to-day
[1:15:03] meditation if you are a daily meditator
[1:15:07] um who is
[1:15:09] you know, not just to have a
[1:15:11] nice
[1:15:13] wholesome life, but who want to kind of
[1:15:15] you know, in the samsara kind of a
[1:15:17] person.
[1:15:18] >> Right.
[1:15:19] >> the death contemplation helps in your
[1:15:22] daily meditation?
[1:15:25] >> Right. So,
[1:15:27] um
[1:15:31] I think it helps. I mean, it helps in
[1:15:33] different ways, but it helps to let go
[1:15:37] of the
[1:15:39] trivialities of life. The things that we
[1:15:42] would hang on to like Barbara said,
[1:15:43] those conversations that are going
[1:15:45] around and around and around. Um when
[1:15:47] you reflect on death, you kind of go, is
[1:15:50] that is that what I would spend my day
[1:15:54] thinking about? Um would I worry about
[1:15:59] uh a particular person, what they said,
[1:16:03] or a
[1:16:04] situation at work. Um it helps you to
[1:16:07] sort of let go of
[1:16:09] of
[1:16:11] um
[1:16:12] things that are not particularly
[1:16:15] worth holding on to.
[1:16:17] >> It's called generosity of the mind.
[1:16:20] >> Generosity of the mind, yeah.
[1:16:22] Yeah.
[1:16:23] It uh it helps you to let go basically.
[1:16:26] It helps you to let go and see your life
[1:16:29] in in sort of a bigger perspective.
[1:16:34] Yes.
[1:16:35] Is that helpful, Manori?
[1:16:38] >> Yes, it is.
[1:16:44] >> Okay.
[1:16:46] So,
[1:16:48] the
[1:16:50] The Elena says, "Thank you, venerables
[1:16:51] and others. Reflecting on death and
[1:16:53] future rebirth makes me feel despair
[1:16:57] because I think I've been through many
[1:16:59] times already."
[1:17:02] >> I'm sorry.
[1:17:03] I'm venerable
[1:17:09] Sorry. I'm [laughter] venerable
[1:17:10] >> What to do?
[1:17:13] >> Okay, so when Elena says, "Thank you,
[1:17:15] venerables and reflecting on death and
[1:17:17] future rebirth makes me feel despair
[1:17:19] because I think I've been through this
[1:17:21] many times already. I think the only
[1:17:24] answer is to keep practicing and letting
[1:17:26] go, but it's not comfortable It's not a
[1:17:29] comfortable thought. Do you have any
[1:17:32] comments?" Yeah.
[1:17:35] We've
[1:17:36] done this many times before and it
[1:17:39] doesn't make you comfortable that you're
[1:17:41] still doing this. Um Again, all these
[1:17:44] reflections, they have to be used
[1:17:46] wisely. They have to be used so that it
[1:17:49] doesn't um
[1:17:51] >> in moderation.
[1:17:52] >> Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't uh put your
[1:17:54] mind in a more negative space. But
[1:17:56] sometimes maybe you do need to be in a
[1:17:58] negative space to realize, "Oh my god,
[1:18:00] to truly let go. I've done this again
[1:18:02] and again and again." But if it's
[1:18:03] getting you overly depressed,
[1:18:06] uh maybe you can use another reflection
[1:18:08] like metta or gratitude
[1:18:12] or, you know, um the four Brahma
[1:18:13] viharas. So, don't let yourself get
[1:18:16] depressed over it. Use it wisely and um
[1:18:20] use it uh
[1:18:21] um
[1:18:22] Yeah, use use it for your benefit.
[1:18:26] Yes.
[1:18:27] Yes. Don't let yourself drown in it.
[1:18:32] >> Put your life in order, then you're
[1:18:33] ready to face anything that comes.
[1:18:36] >> Yes. yes.
[1:18:38] Okay. Oh, okay. One last question.
[1:18:41] Hannah says, "How do you let go of fear
[1:18:44] of death?"
[1:18:46] How do you let go of fear of death? Any
[1:18:48] Any Any points, Venerable?
[1:18:50] >> Well, I think there's underlying there's
[1:18:52] the
[1:18:53] we all have a little bit of fear because
[1:18:54] we don't know what's going to happen
[1:18:56] after death.
[1:18:56] >> Yeah, yeah.
[1:18:57] >> So, what if you have lived a reasonably
[1:18:59] good life and
[1:19:01] then you have a good chance of a good
[1:19:02] rebirth.
[1:19:03] >> Yeah.
[1:19:04] >> So, bring your life bring your life in
[1:19:05] order. You know, bring your life as much
[1:19:07] as possible.
[1:19:08] >> That's right. I think you let go of the
[1:19:09] fear of death when I feel that you've
[1:19:11] you're doing you've done your best.
[1:19:13] >> And also apologize, bring your life in
[1:19:15] order, apologize, and the fear of death
[1:19:17] is natural because everybody wants to
[1:19:19] live, you know, we all want to live so
[1:19:21] to say forever even
[1:19:22] somebody is very sick wants to live a
[1:19:24] little bit longer, you know?
[1:19:25] >> I guess if your life has been blameless
[1:19:28] and you feel that you have
[1:19:30] done
[1:19:32] as much as possible to not hurt other
[1:19:34] people, then you feel good about
[1:19:37] yourself.
[1:19:37] >> And also we are relatively lucky we are
[1:19:39] in the west we even if we have pain, we
[1:19:42] have good doctors. We don't have to pay,
[1:19:44] you know, die screaming in pain like in
[1:19:46] some
[1:19:47] some parts of the world, you don't. So,
[1:19:50] we have a good chance of actually having
[1:19:52] a good a good death, you know, normally.
[1:19:55] >> So, maybe it's also good to think of why
[1:19:58] are you afraid of dying?
[1:20:00] Perhaps, yeah, to to ask yourself what
[1:20:03] are you afraid of? Are you afraid of the
[1:20:06] pain? Are you afraid of
[1:20:08] the remorse that might come up? And if
[1:20:11] you can sort of get to the bottom of it,
[1:20:14] why why why why, then you might actually
[1:20:17] uncover something quite profound there.
[1:20:20] >> Because the the will to live is the last
[1:20:23] one to go with our our our our heart,
[1:20:24] you know?
[1:20:25] >> Yes, we are actually all afraid to die.
[1:20:27] >> Not that we have to live we want to
[1:20:29] exist. Wanting to exist one way or
[1:20:32] another even if it's painful. We still
[1:20:34] want to exist.
[1:20:35] >> Yeah.
[1:20:35] >> It's only the Buddha with his unique
[1:20:37] teaching
[1:20:38] showed us the way to end of this endless
[1:20:41] repetition of existence, sometimes ups,
[1:20:43] sometimes downs, sometimes here,
[1:20:45] sometimes there.
[1:20:46] But if you don't have enough, then you
[1:20:48] just keep on going until you have
[1:20:50] enough.
[1:20:50] >> Yeah.
[1:20:51] >> But look at the Look at your life. Look
[1:20:53] at the situation with open eyes, you
[1:20:55] know?
[1:20:56] >> Right.
[1:20:56] >> What's going on around you?
[1:20:57] >> Yeah.
[1:20:58] >> Walking can Illnesses can come. Things
[1:21:00] can change any time.
[1:21:01] >> Yeah.
[1:21:02] >> Mhm.
[1:21:03] >> Okay, Richard has at the end it's a good
[1:21:06] practice when you go to bed in the end
[1:21:08] at the end of the day to reflect on how
[1:21:10] skillful you were
[1:21:12] >> And be careful of Yeah.
[1:21:13] >> at any goodness that you did that day.
[1:21:16] And when you wake up the next day,
[1:21:17] wonderful.
[1:21:19] >> Yes.
[1:21:19] >> That I am still a human being and
[1:21:21] reflect on the great opportunity to be
[1:21:23] able to help and serve others in a good
[1:21:26] way. Thank you, Richard. As always, a
[1:21:29] beautiful comment.
[1:21:30] >> Yeah.
[1:21:30] >> Yes. Grateful for every day.
[1:21:33] >> And also say sorry if you did something
[1:21:36] wrong. It's always good to say sorry You
[1:21:38] know, we've done something intentionally
[1:21:40] or even unintentionally.
[1:21:42] >> Right.
[1:21:42] >> All right.
[1:21:43] >> And Seminary U Vijaya has a nice one.
[1:21:45] There's a lovely Sri Lankan tradition I
[1:21:47] heard about where parents keep a little
[1:21:49] booklet of the good deeds that child has
[1:21:51] done. The person can continue to make
[1:21:53] notes in their book throughout their
[1:21:54] life and this is eventually read
[1:21:57] to the person on their death bed.
[1:21:59] >> it's a very idea.
[1:22:01] >> A little A little book of good deeds. We
[1:22:03] call it pink book. A book of merit. Yes.
[1:22:07] It's a nice thing to keep account of the
[1:22:09] good things you've done. We are so
[1:22:12] absolutely good at forgetting them.
[1:22:14] >> That's right, especially on deathbed
[1:22:16] where everybody
[1:22:17] You know, you are overcome with your own
[1:22:19] sorrow, but you don't really think of
[1:22:21] the well-being of the person dying.
[1:22:23] >> Yeah. And and the good they have done.
[1:22:26] >> Mhm.
[1:22:27] >> Okay, so think that was all very useful.
[1:22:34] Yes, thank you everyone and thank you
[1:22:36] everyone for sharing and thank you
[1:22:37] Venerable Nirodha also for sharing.
[1:22:40] And uh I hope somewhere along that sort
[1:22:44] of conversation everybody has picked
[1:22:46] something up.
[1:22:48] Yes.
[1:22:50] >> Yeah. Can I have a ask a quick question,
[1:22:54] um Venerable? What kind of um
[1:22:56] what kind of um mindfulness practice
[1:22:59] says you recommend? There's a one
[1:23:01] wonderful thing that Ajahn Amaro did um
[1:23:04] is like you're you're you're sick, you
[1:23:07] know, you're in this hospital bed and
[1:23:09] then there's nobody there, you know,
[1:23:12] that nobody's going to come until you
[1:23:14] die and then what happens to your legs,
[1:23:16] what happens to your hands, that kind of
[1:23:18] a thing. And then there are some other
[1:23:21] different ones as well. What do you
[1:23:23] practice?
[1:23:25] >> Um I guess I just imagine
[1:23:30] I I I just try and convince myself
[1:23:33] somehow. I don't sort of think of it's a
[1:23:35] feeling that arises, it's not so much a
[1:23:37] process.
[1:23:38] Uh the thought that comes, but I do all
[1:23:40] kinds of things that makes me kind of
[1:23:42] get that
[1:23:44] okay, this is going to happen. So,
[1:23:45] whatever is going to convince me. It
[1:23:48] could be just um
[1:23:50] uh
[1:23:50] remembering I've done this a thousand
[1:23:52] times before, you know, and here I'm
[1:23:54] going doing it all over again.
[1:23:56] Uh
[1:23:57] yeah, what it
[1:23:59] I guess we all have our tricks, but it's
[1:24:01] the result, the result of that okay,
[1:24:04] take this day seriously.
[1:24:07] Um yeah.
[1:24:09] We we we all have to come to it our own
[1:24:13] way.
[1:24:15] Okay, wonderful. I'm glad that was
[1:24:17] helpful, Madhu. Thank you, Venerable,
[1:24:19] for a beautiful session. It was a a
[1:24:20] random, but that's how it worked out. I
[1:24:24] had all these nice notes, but thank you
[1:24:26] everyone for contributing.
[1:24:27] >> For the class, thank you for your
[1:24:28] contribution, yes.
[1:24:30] >> Yes, yes, yes.
[1:24:31] >> You want to stay connected.
[1:24:32] >> Yes, and we all stay connected. Thank
[1:24:35] you so much.
[1:24:36] >> Okay.
[1:24:37] >> [laughter]
[1:24:39] >> All right.
[1:24:39] >> And both venerable, thank you for the,
[1:24:43] you know, coming and giving this
[1:24:45] wonderful
[1:24:47] It's not a talk, it was a discussion and
[1:24:48] a gentle human flow.
[1:24:51] A gentle guidance from both of you. I
[1:24:53] think that was really practical and
[1:24:56] wonderful.
[1:24:57] And thank you for all of you as well for
[1:25:00] being part of the Anukampa Anukampa
[1:25:03] community and um
[1:25:05] uh
[1:25:05] being involved in this. Um
[1:25:09] and today as
[1:25:11] as usual as the other days, I want to
[1:25:14] say a few words about the dana, that is
[1:25:17] a generosity. Because giving develops
[1:25:19] wholesome qualities that form the
[1:25:21] foundation of our dhamma practice.
[1:25:24] So, at Anukampa, we
[1:25:26] we provide few ways of developing our
[1:25:29] generosity. The easiest way is the the
[1:25:33] financial donation.
[1:25:35] There you have the
[1:25:37] We have a link in the
[1:25:39] website and in the chat as well.
[1:25:42] Where you can
[1:25:43] uh you know, donate through your bank
[1:25:45] transfer, PayPal, or SumUp. If you're
[1:25:48] financially able, you can do a
[1:25:51] um
[1:25:52] kind of a standing order, regular
[1:25:54] donation.
[1:25:55] Um or you can do the other other
[1:25:58] donations, other danas. Like you can do
[1:26:01] a hot meal if you are able to
[1:26:05] come to the monastery. So, you'll have
[1:26:07] to book it through a calendar.
[1:26:09] And uh so, if you are if you are far
[1:26:12] away, you can do a remote ordering as
[1:26:15] well. So, you can email team at
[1:26:18] anukampaproject.org
[1:26:20] and organize that. And you can send
[1:26:23] groceries and other household items.
[1:26:24] There is a thing called needed items.
[1:26:26] So, have a look at that as well. And
[1:26:29] thank you so much for being part of the
[1:26:31] community.
[1:26:33] >> Thank you also for being such beautiful
[1:26:35] people.
[1:26:37] So, see you again, yeah? See you again.
[1:26:40] See you
[1:26:41] if I'm still alive, I'll see you again.
[1:26:43] >> [laughter]
[1:26:44] >> Okay.
[1:26:46] All right. Thank you, everyone.
[1:26:49] Good night.
