Teaching on prayer
“Mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends.”
St. Teresa of Ávila
St. Teresa of Ávila

St. Teresa of Ávila's assertion that "mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends" invites us to reconsider the nature of prayer itself. Rather than a mere ritual or obligation, she frames prayer as a profound dialogue, a sacred exchange that mirrors the closeness of true friendship. This perspective elevates our understanding of prayer, suggesting that it is not only a means of communication with the divine but also a pathway to deepening our relationship with God. In a world often marked by isolation and superficial connections, Teresa's words remind us of the transformative power of intimacy in our spiritual lives.

Delving deeper into this notion of prayer as friendship, we uncover layers of meaning that resonate with our human experience. The idea of sharing implies vulnerability, trust, and mutual understanding—qualities that are essential in any meaningful relationship. When we approach prayer in this light, we are encouraged to engage with God not as a distant deity but as a close companion who knows us intimately. This shift in perspective can profoundly affect how we practice prayer, inviting us to cultivate a space where we can be our authentic selves, free from pretense or fear of judgment.

The image / the metaphor

At the heart of Teresa's quote lies a rich imagery that evokes warmth and familiarity. The term "intimate sharing" suggests a dialogue that transcends the formalities often associated with prayer. It conjures the image of two friends sitting together, perhaps over a cup of tea, engaged in heartfelt conversation. The verbs "sharing" and "friends" imply a reciprocal relationship, where both parties are open and present to one another. This imagery invites us to envision prayer not as a monologue filled with requests and supplications, but as a dynamic exchange characterized by love, honesty, and presence.

Going deeper into this metaphor, we can see how it challenges the conventional understanding of prayer as a one-sided act. In a friendship, there is a flow of thoughts, feelings, and experiences that enrich both individuals. Similarly, in mental prayer, we are called to bring our whole selves—our joys, sorrows, doubts, and hopes—into the conversation with God. This mutual engagement fosters a deeper connection, allowing us to experience the divine presence in a way that feels personal and transformative. It is an invitation to cultivate a relationship where we are not merely seeking answers but are open to being changed by the encounter.

In the speaker's tradition

St. Teresa of Ávila's insights are deeply rooted in the Christian mystical tradition, which emphasizes the importance of personal experience and relationship with the divine. Concepts such as kenosis, or self-emptying, resonate with her understanding of prayer as friendship. In this context, prayer becomes a space where we let go of our ego and open ourselves to the transformative love of God. This aligns with the teachings of other mystics, such as John of the Cross, who also emphasized the necessity of surrendering oneself to experience divine union.

In her seminal work, "The Book of Her Life," Teresa articulates the stages of prayer, culminating in a profound union with God that mirrors the intimacy of friendship. She writes about the importance of mental prayer as a means to cultivate this relationship, highlighting that true prayer is not merely about asking for favors but about being present to God and allowing oneself to be transformed by that presence. This understanding echoes the sentiments found in the writings of other spiritual traditions, where the essence of prayer is seen as a deepening of love and connection rather than a transactional exchange.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can take root: a busy professional feeling overwhelmed by the demands of work and life. In the midst of this chaos, they might find themselves turning to prayer not as a last resort but as a vital source of strength and solace. By approaching prayer as an intimate conversation with a friend, they can express their frustrations, fears, and aspirations openly. This practice transforms their experience of prayer from a mere obligation into a lifeline, fostering a sense of companionship that alleviates their burdens and nurtures their spirit.

Another application of this teaching might arise in the context of a strained relationship. When faced with conflict, one might feel tempted to withdraw or engage in defensive posturing. However, if we approach the situation as we would in prayer—seeking genuine connection and understanding—we can foster a dialogue that reflects the intimacy Teresa describes. By sharing our feelings honestly and listening deeply, we create a space for healing and reconciliation, embodying the essence of friendship that Teresa so beautifully articulates. This practice not only enriches our relationships with others but also deepens our connection with the divine.

A reflection

As we contemplate St. Teresa's profound insight into the nature of prayer, we are invited to reflect on our own experiences of intimacy with the divine. How do we approach our moments of prayer? Are we open to sharing our true selves, or do we hold back, fearing vulnerability? In what ways can we cultivate a deeper sense of friendship with God in our daily lives? These questions invite us to explore the richness of our spiritual practice and to embrace the transformative power of intimate sharing.

St. Teresa of Ávila
ArtistSt. Teresa of Ávila

Spanish Carmelite nun and mystic, reformer and writer. Her Interior Castle describes seven mansions of the soul's journey to God.

Got Questions?

St. Teresa refers to mental prayer as a form of contemplative engagement with God, where one shares thoughts and feelings as one would with a close friend. It emphasizes a personal and intimate relationship with the divine, moving beyond formal prayers to a heartfelt dialogue.
You can apply this teaching by approaching your moments of prayer as opportunities for genuine conversation with God. Rather than reciting memorized prayers, take time to express your true feelings, thoughts, and experiences, fostering a sense of intimacy and connection.
Yes, the concept of prayer as a personal relationship with the divine is echoed in the works of other Christian mystics, such as John of the Cross and Julian of Norwich, who also emphasize the importance of love, intimacy, and personal experience in one's spiritual journey.
Mental prayer is characterized by internal dialogue and contemplation, focusing on personal connection with God, while vocal prayer involves spoken or written prayers, often structured and communal. Mental prayer allows for deeper intimacy and personal expression.
A practice that supports this teaching is the use of contemplative silence, where one sits in stillness, allowing thoughts and feelings to arise naturally. This creates a space for genuine sharing with God, fostering a deeper sense of friendship and connection.

Continue Reading

View All