Teaching on patience
“Patience is a willingness to be with what is, even if it is uncomfortable.”
Jack Kornfield
Jack Kornfield

The Art of Embracing Discomfort

Jack Kornfield's assertion that "patience is a willingness to be with what is, even if it is uncomfortable" invites us to explore the profound depths of our experience. In a world that often prioritizes immediate gratification and the avoidance of discomfort, this quote serves as a gentle reminder of the transformative power of patience. It challenges us to confront our unease and to cultivate a presence that allows us to fully engage with life as it unfolds, rather than retreating into distraction or denial.

At its core, this teaching speaks to the heart of human existence, where discomfort is an inevitable companion. By embracing patience, we learn to sit with our feelings, thoughts, and circumstances, even when they are challenging. This willingness to be present with discomfort not only fosters resilience but also opens the door to deeper understanding and compassion, both for ourselves and others. In this way, Kornfield's words resonate with the essence of spiritual growth, urging us to cultivate a mindful acceptance of our reality.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Kornfield's quote evokes a sense of stillness amidst the chaos of life. The verb "willingness" suggests an active choice, a conscious decision to remain present even when faced with discomfort. This is not a passive resignation but rather an engaged acceptance, where we allow ourselves to feel the full spectrum of our experiences without rushing to escape them. The phrase "be with what is" emphasizes the importance of presence, inviting us to inhabit our current reality rather than wishing it were different.

Diving deeper into the metaphor, we can envision patience as a vast, open space where discomfort can exist without judgment. It is akin to a calm lake that reflects the tumultuous sky above, allowing storms to pass without disturbance. This metaphor illustrates that patience does not eliminate discomfort; instead, it provides a nurturing environment where we can explore our feelings and thoughts without the pressure to change them immediately. In this space, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and our experiences.

In the speaker's tradition

Jack Kornfield, a prominent figure in the Buddhist tradition, draws upon the rich tapestry of teachings that emphasize the importance of patience and presence. Concepts such as dharma, which refers to the natural order of the universe, and sunyata, or emptiness, resonate deeply with his message. In Buddhism, patience is often linked to the practice of mindfulness, where one learns to observe thoughts and feelings without attachment or aversion. This practice cultivates a sense of equanimity, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with grace.

In his seminal work, "A Path with Heart," Kornfield references the Buddha's teachings on the Four Noble Truths, which highlight the reality of suffering and the path to its cessation. By acknowledging discomfort as an inherent part of life, we can begin to cultivate the patience necessary to transform our relationship with suffering. This aligns with the Buddhist notion of prajna, or wisdom, which arises from a deep understanding of our experiences and the impermanence of all things.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: imagine a person facing a challenging work environment, filled with stress and uncertainty. Instead of seeking immediate escape through distractions or avoidance, they choose to practice patience by acknowledging their discomfort. By sitting with their feelings of anxiety and frustration, they create space for reflection and insight, ultimately leading to a more thoughtful response to their situation. This practice of patience allows them to engage more fully with their work and relationships, fostering a sense of empowerment and clarity.

In the realm of relationships, Kornfield's teaching can also find fertile ground. Picture a couple navigating a difficult conversation, where emotions run high and misunderstandings abound. By embracing patience, each partner can choose to listen deeply and remain present with the discomfort of vulnerability. This willingness to be with what is—rather than rushing to resolve the tension—can lead to a more profound connection and understanding between them. In this way, patience becomes a bridge that fosters intimacy and healing.

A reflection

As we contemplate Kornfield's words, we are invited to reflect on our own relationship with discomfort. How often do we find ourselves seeking to escape or numb our feelings rather than embracing them? In what areas of our lives could we cultivate a greater willingness to be present with what is, even when it feels uncomfortable? This inquiry invites us to explore the transformative potential of patience, encouraging us to engage with our experiences fully and authentically.

Jack Kornfield
ArtistJack Kornfield

American Buddhist teacher trained as a monk in Thailand, Burma, and India. Co-founder of Spirit Rock and Insight Meditation Society.

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

Kornfield's quote emphasizes the importance of accepting our current reality, including discomfort, without rushing to change it. It suggests that true patience involves an active engagement with our experiences, allowing us to explore our feelings and thoughts deeply.
You can apply this teaching by consciously choosing to sit with your discomfort in various situations, whether at work, in relationships, or during personal challenges. Instead of seeking immediate relief, practice mindfulness and reflection to understand your feelings better.
Yes, the concept of patience and acceptance is prevalent in many Buddhist texts, particularly in the teachings surrounding the Four Noble Truths and the practice of mindfulness. These teachings encourage practitioners to acknowledge suffering and cultivate patience as a means to transcend it.
Patience involves an active choice to remain present and engaged with discomfort, while resignation implies a passive acceptance without the intention to understand or grow from the experience. Patience fosters growth, whereas resignation can lead to stagnation.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By regularly engaging in mindfulness, you can develop the ability to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, cultivating a deeper sense of patience and presence.
To cultivate patience in relationships, practice active listening and remain present during difficult conversations. Allow yourself and your partner to express discomfort without rushing to resolve the situation, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.

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