Teaching on identity
“You are not what they say you are.”
IV
Iyanla Vanzant

In her poignant assertion, "You are not what they say you are," Iyanla Vanzant invites us to peel back the layers of external judgment and societal labels that often define our identities. This statement serves as a powerful reminder that our self-worth and essence are not dictated by the perceptions of others. In a world rife with opinions and expectations, understanding this truth becomes essential for cultivating a genuine sense of self and inner peace.

Vanzant's words resonate deeply in a culture that frequently equates identity with external validation. The challenge lies in discerning our authentic selves from the myriad voices that seek to define us. By embracing the notion that we are not confined to others' perceptions, we embark on a transformative journey toward self-discovery and empowerment. This exploration is not merely an act of rebellion against societal norms; it is a sacred quest to reclaim our truth and live in alignment with our innermost being.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Vanzant's quote evokes a sense of liberation and self-assertion. The phrase "you are not" serves as a powerful negation, a declaration that challenges the validity of external labels. It suggests a journey inward, where the self is not merely a reflection of others' opinions but a unique expression of one's own essence. The verbs chosen here—"are" and "say"—imply a dynamic interplay between perception and reality, urging us to consider the weight of words and the narratives we allow to shape our identities.

Diving deeper into the metaphor, we can see that Vanzant's statement speaks to the fluidity of identity. Just as water takes the shape of its container but remains unchanged in essence, our true selves can be obscured by the molds that others attempt to impose upon us. This metaphor invites us to examine the sources of our self-concept and to recognize that the labels we carry are often not our own but rather the echoes of others' beliefs and judgments. In this light, the journey toward self-realization becomes an act of shedding these imposed identities to reveal the authentic self that lies beneath.

In the speaker's tradition

Iyanla Vanzant's teachings are deeply rooted in the New Thought movement, which emphasizes the power of thought and the importance of self-awareness in shaping our realities. Central to this tradition is the concept of "mind over matter," which aligns with Vanzant's assertion that our identities are not determined by external circumstances but rather by our inner beliefs and perceptions. This idea resonates with the notion of dharma, where one's true path is discovered through self-inquiry and alignment with one's authentic purpose.

Furthermore, Vanzant's perspective echoes the Buddhist concept of sunyata, or emptiness, which teaches that our identities are not fixed but rather fluid and interconnected. Just as sunyata invites us to release attachment to the self, Vanzant encourages us to let go of the labels that others impose upon us. In her book "Yesterday, I Cried," she emphasizes the importance of self-love and acceptance, urging readers to cultivate a relationship with themselves that transcends societal expectations. This alignment with one's true nature is a recurring theme in the New Thought tradition, where the journey toward self-discovery is seen as a pathway to spiritual awakening.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a workplace environment where colleagues frequently offer unsolicited opinions about one's performance. In such a setting, it is easy to internalize these judgments and allow them to shape one's self-image. However, by embracing Vanzant's wisdom, one can recognize that these opinions do not define their worth or capabilities. Instead, they can choose to focus on their own values and strengths, cultivating a sense of self that is rooted in personal truth rather than external validation.

Another application of this teaching may arise in personal relationships, where partners may project their insecurities or expectations onto one another. In moments of conflict, it is vital to remember that the labels and judgments exchanged do not encapsulate the entirety of one's being. By engaging in open communication and self-reflection, individuals can navigate these challenges with grace, reaffirming their identities beyond the perceptions of their partners. This practice of self-awareness and compassion allows for deeper connections and a more authentic expression of love.

A reflection

As we contemplate Vanzant's profound statement, we are invited to reflect on the ways in which we allow others' perceptions to shape our identities. What labels have we internalized that do not resonate with our true selves? In what areas of our lives can we reclaim our authenticity and embrace the freedom that comes from self-acceptance? These contemplative questions serve as a guiding light on our journey toward self-discovery, encouraging us to explore the depths of our being beyond the echoes of others.

Artist
Iyanla Vanzant

Wisdom from Iyanla Vanzant.

Got Questions?

Iyanla Vanzant's quote emphasizes that our identities should not be defined by the opinions or judgments of others. It encourages individuals to look inward and recognize their true selves, independent of external labels and societal expectations.
You can apply this teaching by practicing self-awareness and questioning the labels you accept from others. Focus on your values, strengths, and personal truths, allowing them to guide your self-perception rather than the opinions of those around you.
Yes, the idea that our thoughts and beliefs shape our reality is a central tenet in many New Thought texts. Authors like Ernest Holmes and Charles Fillmore also emphasize the importance of self-identity and the power of positive thinking in defining who we are.
Self-identity refers to how we perceive ourselves based on our values and beliefs, while external identity is shaped by how others view us. Vanzant's teaching encourages us to prioritize self-identity over external identity to live authentically.
Journaling can be a powerful practice to support living this teaching. By writing about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, you can clarify your self-identity and challenge any negative labels imposed by others.
In relationships, it's important to communicate openly and assert your true self. By expressing your feelings and boundaries, you can foster deeper connections while remaining true to your identity, free from the influence of external judgments.

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