Teaching on outgrowing
“You are allowed to outgrow people, places, and things.”
IV
Iyanla Vanzant

Iyanla Vanzant's poignant assertion, "You are allowed to outgrow people, places, and things," invites us to reflect on the natural evolution of our lives. This statement serves as a gentle reminder that personal growth often necessitates a shedding of old identities, relationships, and environments that no longer serve our highest selves. In a world that frequently pressures us to conform, Vanzant's words empower us to embrace change as a vital aspect of our spiritual journey.

To outgrow is to evolve, to expand beyond the confines of our previous experiences and connections. This process can be both liberating and daunting, as it challenges us to confront the discomfort of letting go. The permission embedded in Vanzant's quote encourages us to recognize that growth is not only acceptable but essential for our well-being. As we navigate the complexities of our lives, understanding that we have the right to evolve can foster a sense of freedom and authenticity.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Vanzant's quote evokes a sense of movement and transformation. The verbs "outgrow" and "allowed" suggest a dynamic process, one that is both organic and intentional. To outgrow implies a natural progression, akin to a tree shedding its leaves in autumn, making way for new growth in spring. The notion of being "allowed" introduces an element of permission, highlighting the internal struggle many face when contemplating change. It suggests that we often seek validation from external sources, yet the true authority lies within ourselves.

In the speaker's tradition

Iyanla Vanzant's teachings are deeply rooted in the New Thought movement, which emphasizes the power of thought and the importance of personal responsibility in shaping our realities. Concepts such as dharma, or one's life purpose, resonate with the idea of outgrowing, as they encourage individuals to align their lives with their true essence. The notion of kenosis, or self-emptying, also parallels Vanzant's message, suggesting that in order to grow, we must sometimes relinquish our attachments to people and situations that no longer serve us.

In her book "In the Meantime," Vanzant explores the transitional phases of life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and intentionality. This aligns with the Buddhist concept of sunyata, or emptiness, which teaches that clinging to the past can hinder our spiritual progress. By recognizing that we have the right to outgrow our circumstances, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of our own dharma and the path we are meant to follow.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching resonates: a professional who has spent years in a job that once brought them joy but has now become a source of dissatisfaction. The individual may feel torn between loyalty to colleagues and the desire for a more fulfilling career. Vanzant's message serves as a guiding light, encouraging them to acknowledge their feelings and recognize that it is permissible to seek new opportunities that align with their evolving aspirations. This process of outgrowing their current role can lead to greater fulfillment and authenticity.

In the realm of relationships, the concept of outgrowing can manifest in various ways. Imagine a friendship that has become stagnant, where conversations feel repetitive and the connection lacks depth. Acknowledging the need to move on can be challenging, yet it is a vital step toward personal growth. By embracing the idea that it is acceptable to outgrow certain relationships, individuals can create space for new connections that resonate more deeply with their current selves. This practice of discernment fosters healthier relationships and nurtures a sense of belonging.

A reflection

As we contemplate Vanzant's powerful words, we are invited to reflect on our own journeys of growth and transformation. What aspects of your life—people, places, or things—might you need to outgrow in order to embrace your true self? This question encourages introspection and invites us to consider the ways in which we can honor our evolving identities. By granting ourselves permission to change, we open the door to a more authentic and fulfilling existence.

Artist
Iyanla Vanzant

Wisdom from Iyanla Vanzant.

Got Questions?

Iyanla Vanzant's quote emphasizes the natural process of personal growth, suggesting that it is not only acceptable but necessary to move beyond relationships and environments that no longer serve our highest selves. It encourages individuals to embrace change as a vital aspect of their spiritual journey.
You can apply this teaching by regularly assessing your relationships and environments, asking yourself if they align with your current values and aspirations. When you identify aspects of your life that feel stagnant or unfulfilling, consider taking steps to let go and seek new opportunities that resonate with your evolving self.
Yes, the concept of outgrowing relationships and circumstances is prevalent in New Thought literature, which often emphasizes personal responsibility and the power of thought. Authors like Ernest Holmes and Emmet Fox discuss the importance of aligning with one's true purpose and releasing attachments that hinder spiritual growth.
Dharma refers to one's life purpose and the path one is meant to follow, while kenosis involves the act of self-emptying or relinquishing attachments. In the context of outgrowing, dharma encourages individuals to seek alignment with their true selves, while kenosis allows for the release of relationships and situations that no longer support that journey.
A practice that supports living this teaching is regular self-reflection, where you take time to assess your relationships and environments. Journaling about your feelings and aspirations can help clarify what you may need to outgrow, allowing you to consciously make choices that align with your evolving identity.

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