Bessel van der Kolk's poignant assertion that "trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself" speaks to a profound truth about the human experience. Trauma, whether acute or chronic, can create a disconnection between our sense of self and our ability to navigate our lives with agency. This loss of control can manifest in various ways, from anxiety and depression to a pervasive sense of helplessness. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for anyone seeking to heal from trauma and reclaim their autonomy.
In a world that often prioritizes productivity and control, the implications of van der Kolk's words resonate deeply. The feeling of being in charge of oneself is not merely a psychological state; it is a fundamental aspect of our humanity. When trauma disrupts this sense of agency, it can lead to a cascade of emotional and physical symptoms that hinder our ability to engage fully with life. Recognizing the impact of trauma on our sense of self is the first step toward healing, allowing us to explore the pathways back to agency and empowerment.
The image / the metaphor
The imagery in van der Kolk's quote evokes a powerful sense of loss. The verb "robs" suggests an act of violence, an intrusion that strips away something essential to our being. This loss is not just about the absence of control; it is about the profound disorientation that follows. When we feel disconnected from ourselves, we may experience life as a series of reactions rather than choices, leading to a sense of being adrift in our own existence.
Diving deeper into the metaphor, we can see that the feeling of being "in charge" encompasses more than just decision-making; it includes the ability to respond to our emotions, to set boundaries, and to pursue our desires. Trauma can create a landscape where these capacities are diminished, leaving us feeling like spectators in our own lives. The journey of healing, then, is one of reclaiming this sense of charge, of re-establishing our connection to our inner selves and the world around us.
In the speaker's tradition
Bessel van der Kolk's work is situated within the broader tradition of trauma healing, which emphasizes the importance of integrating mind and body. Concepts such as "kenosis," the self-emptying of one's will, resonate with the experience of trauma, where individuals may feel compelled to surrender their agency. In this context, the journey toward healing involves not only reclaiming control but also understanding the nature of selfhood and the interconnectedness of our experiences.
In "The Body Keeps the Score," van der Kolk draws upon various therapeutic modalities, including mindfulness and somatic practices, to illustrate how trauma affects the body and mind. This aligns with the Buddhist concept of "sunyata," or emptiness, which invites us to explore the nature of self and identity. By recognizing the fluidity of our experiences and the potential for transformation, we can begin to navigate the complexities of trauma and reclaim our sense of agency.
Living the teaching
Consider a modern scenario where this teaching resonates: an individual who has experienced a traumatic event, such as a car accident, finds themselves overwhelmed by anxiety whenever they are in a vehicle. This anxiety can feel like a loss of control, as the person may avoid driving altogether, limiting their freedom and autonomy. By acknowledging the trauma and its impact on their sense of agency, they can begin to explore therapeutic avenues that help them reclaim their ability to drive without fear.
In a different context, imagine a relationship where one partner has experienced emotional trauma. This trauma may lead to difficulties in communication and trust, causing the partner to feel as though they are not in charge of their emotional responses. By engaging in open dialogue and seeking support, both partners can work toward understanding the roots of these feelings, fostering a sense of agency within the relationship. This process not only aids in healing but also strengthens the bond between them.
A reflection
As we contemplate van der Kolk's insight, we are invited to reflect on our own experiences of agency and control. What aspects of your life feel governed by external circumstances rather than your own choices? In what ways can you begin to reclaim your sense of self and agency? These questions serve as a starting point for deeper exploration, guiding us toward a more empowered existence.
