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Inspiration

Signs You Lack Peace of Mind: A Field Guide to Inner Calm

Dr.Charryse Johnson
Dr.Charryse Johnson
Mar 19, 2025
9 min read

From Dr. Charryse Johnson

Watch · 6

Dr. Charryse Johnson does not open her episode with a definition. She opens with two numbers. Current research, she tells listeners, suggests that about 70 percent of Americans believe they are living with stress and chaos beyond their natural ability to manage, and that one in six children aged six to 17 reports a high level of stress. For a host who spends most of her time on neuroscience, integrative health, and mindset, the numbers set up the premise of "Finding Your Inner Peace": peace of mind is the phrase everyone uses and almost nobody checks. The question she wants listeners to ask is not whether they want it, but whether it is present in their lives right now, what they are doing to cultivate it, and how they would know when it has started to slip away.

Read · 7 sections

What Does Peace of Mind Actually Mean?

Johnson is careful to separate peace of mind from the thing it is most often mistaken for. "Peace of mind is intended to be much more than just relaxation," she says. In her framing it includes emotional regulation, the capacity to be in harmony with what is happening in your life, and your capacity to manage the stressors and day-to-day responsibilities that come at you. It also includes a measure of mental clarity, which she ties to moments of indecision, or to decisions made on your behalf that you do not agree with, where a person can feel hopeless or powerless.

The most useful move in this section is her refusal to make peace conditional on circumstances. "It is not possible for peace of mind to only be contingent around everything in your life being great," she says, "because at the end of the day that's not real." Life will not offer seasons where everything is wonderful. Her claim is narrower and more practical: regardless of the chaos, the changes, and the uncertainty, it is possible to reach a degree of peace that makes daily life feel better. That reframing matters. If peace depends on a calm calendar, it will always feel like a privilege you are waiting for. If it is a capacity, it is something you can train, and something you can notice losing.

She also frames the series as a three-part arc, and she is explicit about the reason. "I really want to take my time and not give you so much information to take in," she explains. Part one, this episode, is about recognizing the signs. Part two is about the neuroscience behind inner peace, including the systems of the brain and body involved in feeling internally settled. Part three is meant to hand listeners tangible strategies for a calmer state of being. Johnson's insistence that inner peace is "not just this woo feeling that exists out there for some and not for others" is the thread that ties them together.

How Do You Know When Peace of Mind Is Missing?

The heart of the episode is a list of signs. Johnson is clear that the list is incomplete on purpose, since listeners will recognize patterns she does not name, and she asks them to add to it. The first and most physical sign is persistent anxiety and restlessness. [0:00] Johnson describes a brain that feels stuck in a hyperactive state, "constantly thinking, constantly moving," with the sense of looping that many of her clients use as their own description. Underneath that, she says, is a state of constant hypervigilance: am I taking care of everything, am I on top of it all? That state activates the amygdala, which she calls the fear center, and the goal is to step off that ledge before it becomes the default.

Her most useful caution here is about recognition. Anxiety does not always announce itself as a racing heart. She notes that she often sees anxiety in male-identifying individuals show up as irritability or anger, and she asks listeners to check the picture they carry of anxiety. "I imagine that you truly do know signs that you're kind of off kilter," she says. The signs can be subtle or very large, and they can look many different ways.

Why Does Focus Fall Apart When Peace Is Gone?

The second sign is difficulty focusing, and Johnson ties it to the nervous system. When we are in seasons of emotional dysregulation, we are too activated to stay within what she calls our window of tolerance, and our nervous system is overstimulated. She is equally clear that focus problems have many causes. Neurodiversity, a full schedule, menopause, and hormonal imbalance can all make concentration harder, which is why she recommends knowing your own baseline first.

She offers her own example. "I do have complex ADHD," she says, and she considers herself neurodiverse for multiple factors. She has a general frame of reference for how she focuses on a given day, and she has learned to notice when her peace of mind is not intact, because the brain fog she feels is heightened. For her, that looks like walking into a room and not remembering why she came, losing her train of thought mid-conversation, and finding it hard to hold onto the things she needs to do. The lesson is not that everyone with brain fog has lost their peace. It is that you need to know your own normal well enough to spot the deviation.

Why Do Irritability and Mood Swings Show Up at Home?

The third sign is irritability and mood swings, and Johnson's observation about where they appear is the most recognizable part of the episode. Many people keep it together at work because they understand the consequences of losing composure there. They get through the day. Then they get home, or get around people they trust and love, and the swings get bigger. She names the types who are most at risk: the strong friend, the type A high achiever, the person who masks constantly and shows one face outwardly while feeling something different inside.

Johnson also points to a quieter version, where irritability and mood swings stay internal. You feel them, you know they are there, and you can manage them in ways other people never see. She describes the internal sequence most of us recognize: one minute okay, a few minutes later anxious, then sad and tearful, then numb. "Pay attention to what's happening inside," she urges. She calls this an internal weather report, and her instruction is to read it rather than override it. A pattern of internal weather that never gets noticed is exactly how peace of mind slips without anyone deciding it should.

"You cannot constantly go through each day a million miles per hour, not check in with yourself, and then believe that you're going to know when your peace of mind has fallen off."

— Dr. Charryse Johnson, Dear Dr. Charryse, "Finding Your Inner Peace" (March 2025)

What About Sleep, Avoidance, and Self-Soothing?

The episode extends the list beyond mood and focus. Johnson names fatigue and sleep disruption as signs, describing the difference between falling asleep easily and feeling like you have to wake up already tired, or lying awake to feel all the day's tension as you try to rest. She asks listeners to look at where their sleep patterns are off, because that is often where peace of mind is missing.

The most consequential sign may be avoidance, which she frames as self-soothing that can quietly become a habit. She lists the common tools: binge-watching a streaming series for hours, shopping, drinking, constant sleeping or napping, and what she calls self-talk that keeps you from facing what is going on. The trouble with avoidance, in her telling, is that it works in the short term, which is exactly why it persists. Each rewarding escape makes the next one more likely. The episode's description also lists emotional eating among the coping mechanisms to notice, which fits the same pattern of soothing a state you have not yet named.

Johnson's broader point is that self-awareness is not a judgment. Recognizing your coping mechanisms is the first step toward choosing something different, and she repeatedly invites listeners to notice rather than condemn. She is also honest about how hard the honest version can be. "We have to be willing to look at what is hurting us and harming us," she suggests, and that willingness is where the work starts.

What Should You Do With This Right Now?

Johnson closes the episode by asking listeners to take some time and really write down what they notice. The exercise is not a test. It is a way to build the awareness she keeps returning to: you cannot notice peace leaving if you never pause long enough to check whether it is there. Her three signs, looping anxiety, focus that falls apart, and irritability that surfaces in close relationships, give you a starting checklist. Add the ones she could not name for you. Then watch how sleep, avoidance, and self-soothing respond when your internal weather shifts.

The episode's real contribution is a shift in question. Instead of asking how to become calm, it asks how you would know you have lost calm, and what you have been doing to cover the loss. Johnson's answer is that peace of mind is a capacity that depends on awareness, and awareness starts with paying attention to the small, repeated signals most people have learned to ignore.

Where to go from here

If this episode resonated, start with the practice Johnson actually asks for: a written check-in. Note where anxiety shows up in your body and your schedule, when focus slips and whether it is your baseline or a deviation, where your irritability lands (at work, at home, or both), how your sleep is going, and which self-soothing habits you reach for most. Then wait for part two of the series, which she says will cover the neuroscience of inner peace, and part three, which she promises will offer tangible strategies. Watch for the next episodes on the Dear Dr. Charryse channel, and treat this first one as a map of what to look for rather than a verdict on where you stand.

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Transcript

[0:00] [Music]

[0:22] hello and welcome back to another

[0:24] episode of dear Dr Sharice a mental

[0:27] health podcast where we discuss life

[0:30] through the lens of Neuroscience

[0:33] Integrative Health and mindset so that

[0:35] you can learn grow and honor the space

[0:38] you were designed to occupy today I want

[0:42] us to focus on the dynamic of what does

[0:44] it mean to truly cultivate and maintain

[0:49] some level of a peace of mind I feel

[0:52] like peace of mind can be this cliche

[0:55] statement that we make about life but we

[0:58] don't really consider is it really

[1:01] present in my life what am I doing to

[1:03] help cultivate it and how do I know when

[1:06] that level of peace of mind is starting

[1:08] to get away from me so I want you to

[1:10] think about a couple of things as we go

[1:12] along first know that current research

[1:16] tells us that about

[1:18] 70% of Americans believe that they are

[1:23] experiencing a level of stress and Chaos

[1:26] beyond their natural ability to manage

[1:28] and then if we even look a little bit

[1:30] lower

[1:31] um children who are six to 17 years old

[1:34] one in six of them are also reporting a

[1:38] high level of stress and I do that

[1:39] because I also know that quite a few of

[1:41] you are parents or you might work with

[1:43] students and it's helpful for us to

[1:45] recognize this is something that is

[1:46] being experienced as early as six years

[1:49] old all the way up for various reasons I

[1:54] want you to also think about for

[1:56] yourself I think this can be such a

[1:58] powerful exercise what is peace of mind

[2:03] what does that look like for you and

[2:05] know that peace of mind is intended to

[2:07] be much more than just relaxation it

[2:10] means emotion regulation being able to

[2:13] be in harmony with what's happening in

[2:15] your life it also speaks to Your

[2:17] Capacity Your Capacity to manage the

[2:20] stressors that are coming at you or even

[2:22] your day-to-day responsibilities and it

[2:25] also is meant to include some level of

[2:28] mental Clarity when we are in a place of

[2:32] indecision or we feel like decisions are

[2:34] being made that we don't know that we

[2:37] ascribe to or we agree with or we feel

[2:40] hopeless or powerless around those

[2:42] decisions it can impact our mental

[2:44] Clarity here's another thing that I want

[2:47] you to recognize as you're creating that

[2:49] definition for peace of mind for you it

[2:51] is not possible for peace of mind to

[2:54] only be contingent around everything in

[2:57] your life being great because at the end

[2:59] of the day that's not real we're not

[3:02] going to be in Seasons where everything

[3:04] in life is going to be wonderful but

[3:07] regardless of what is happening in life

[3:10] regardless of the chaos that you feel

[3:13] like is constantly coming your way the

[3:15] changes and the uncertainty that you may

[3:18] be experiencing it is possible to tap

[3:22] into an aspect an element a degree of

[3:27] peace of mind that will make your daily

[3:29] life feel better so over the next three

[3:33] episodes because I really want to take

[3:34] my time and not give you so much

[3:36] information to take in we're going to

[3:38] focus on these three things signs that

[3:40] peace of mind is missing I'm going to go

[3:43] through a few signs I always want you to

[3:45] add to the list because there may be

[3:47] something that you recognize for

[3:49] yourself that I don't come up with

[3:52] because we don't have enough time then

[3:54] in part two we're going to talk about

[3:56] the Neuroscience behind inner peace

[3:59] inner peace is not just this woo feeling

[4:03] that exists out there for some and not

[4:05] for others and it means that you have to

[4:06] totally go away from your own life but

[4:08] we'll talk about all the systems of the

[4:10] brain and the body that are involved in

[4:13] feeling a level of internal peace and

[4:16] then of course I will leave you with

[4:17] some tangible strategies to cultivate a

[4:21] calmer state of being so I'm inviting

[4:24] you on this journey of exploring what

[4:28] Peace of Mind looks like in your life

[4:31] and how you know it is or isn't present

[4:35] so signs that you may lack Peace of Mind

[4:39] number one if you feel like you have a

[4:41] persistent level of anxiety and

[4:45] restlessness so the brain might feel

[4:48] like it's stuck in this hyperactive

[4:50] state where you're constantly thinking

[4:53] constantly moving you feel like you're

[4:56] looping I often will hear some of my

[4:58] clients mention it as that and what's

[5:01] happening during that time is when we're

[5:03] in that constant hypervigilance state

[5:06] always aware what's going on am I taking

[5:08] care of all the things that activates

[5:11] the area of the amydala that is your

[5:14] fear Center so we definitely want to

[5:17] work our way from that ledge and know

[5:22] the signs which can be subtle or very

[5:25] large and present that you're feeling

[5:29] anxious and Restless I also want to say

[5:31] this in particular we see that a lot of

[5:35] male identifying individuals that their

[5:37] anxiety often comes off as IR ability or

[5:42] anger so if you have a picture in your

[5:44] mind that anxiety just means you have a

[5:47] fast heart rate and you feel a little

[5:50] overwhelmed and chaotic internally it

[5:52] can look a number of different ways so

[5:54] really kind of check yourself because I

[5:57] imagine that you truly do know signs

[6:01] that you're kind of off kilter and

[6:02] you're feeling anxious a second sign

[6:05] number two that you may lack peace of

[6:07] mind is difficulty focusing when we are

[6:11] in seasons of emotional disregulation

[6:15] which means we're too activated we don't

[6:19] feel like we can stay within our window

[6:21] of tolerance as a result of that that

[6:24] means that our nervous system is over

[6:26] stimulated now of course I'll always say

[6:29] that there could be a number number of

[6:31] reasons that you're struggling to focus

[6:33] if you are

[6:35] neurodiverse that means that on a

[6:37] general basis that focusing will be

[6:40] challenging for you if you have too much

[6:42] going on in your life if you are going

[6:45] through menopause or if your hormones

[6:47] are off as male or female those are all

[6:50] examples however we have a baseline for

[6:54] most of us that we know like here's your

[6:56] general area of focus and then you have

[6:58] the moments that you know okay okay this

[7:01] is even beyond your typical I'll I'll

[7:04] use myself for an example I do have

[7:07] complex ADHD I am definitely for

[7:09] multiple factors considered

[7:11] neurodiverse I have a general frame of

[7:15] reference for the way that I focus

[7:18] during a given day and I also recognize

[7:22] that when I'm in a place that my peace

[7:25] of mind is not intact that the level of

[7:29] brain fog that I feel is heightened so

[7:32] that might look like for me I am walking

[7:35] around and not really able to focus on

[7:39] what am I doing in this room why did I

[7:41] come here I may have a thought I'm

[7:43] speaking with someone and lose my train

[7:47] of thought memory and remembering the

[7:50] things that I need to do feels extremely

[7:53] difficult so those are three different

[7:55] ways that I know for me okay something

[7:59] is shaking

[8:00] the general peace of mind that I have

[8:03] and know that all of the signs and

[8:05] symptoms that I'm mentioning require us

[8:07] to have some level of awareness so you

[8:10] cannot constantly go through each day a

[8:14] million miles per hour not check in with

[8:18] yourself and then believe that you're

[8:20] going to know when your peace of mind

[8:24] has fallen off number three irritability

[8:28] and mood swings so when you're

[8:30] emotionally disregulated your nervous

[8:32] system is going to be overstimulated and

[8:35] can even feel like it's stuck the

[8:39] dynamic of irritability and mood swings

[8:41] is you may also notice that you keep it

[8:44] together in certain areas of your life

[8:46] because you know that there are

[8:47] different consequences and then when you

[8:49] get with people that you trust and that

[8:51] you love you see it come up more so

[8:54] we'll go to work or be in a work

[8:57] environment or professional environment

[8:59] and we keep it together right we get

[9:01] through the day but the moment we get

[9:03] home and we're in connection with our

[9:05] friends or our family you might see that

[9:08] those swings go a little higher some of

[9:11] you my strong friends sometimes my type

[9:15] A individuals or people who mask

[9:18] constantly show one thing on the outside

[9:20] and feel something differently inside

[9:23] you may also notice that your

[9:27] irritability and mood swings are in

[9:30] Eternal you feel them you recognize that

[9:34] they're there but you do have the

[9:37] ability to mitigate them or to manage

[9:39] them in a way that other people won't

[9:41] see but you know it you know that one

[9:45] minute you felt okay the next few

[9:48] minutes you felt anxious the next few

[9:50] minutes you felt sad and tearful the

[9:52] next few minutes or hours you felt numb

[9:55] so pay attention whether or not those

[9:57] are seen to what's happening to your

[10:00] internal State here's one thing that you

[10:04] can do that is a sematic intervention

[10:06] Soma meaning body that helps you check

[10:08] in on what's Happening I call it well I

[10:12] don't call it it is called the internal

[10:15] weather report so you take a moment and

[10:17] you go okay here's what everyone else is

[10:20] seeing out of me I look sunny and bright

[10:23] like the skies are blue but if we took a

[10:27] look at your internal weather behind

[10:29] behind the mask and when inside of your

[10:33] mind and your body what would the

[10:36] weather look like I often do this with

[10:39] individuals and groups and it's such an

[10:41] interesting dynamic because they go I

[10:42] know I'm showing that it's sunny

[10:46] outwardly but then we stop and recognize

[10:50] inside there's a storm and things feel

[10:53] cloudy or gray so if you're looking for

[10:56] a very tangible way to really consider

[10:58] what's the difference between what I'm

[10:59] showing other people and what's

[11:01] happening inside internal weather report

[11:04] is a great skill so signs you lack Peace

[11:06] of Mind number one was persistent in

[11:08] anxiety and restlessness number two

[11:11] difficulty focusing number three

[11:12] irritability and mood swings number four

[11:16] fatigue and sleep disruptions so an

[11:19] overactive stress response when we're

[11:21] feeling chaotic when we don't feel like

[11:23] we have peace of mind that will

[11:26] interfere with your melatonin production

[11:29] and your deep sleep cycles so it might

[11:32] look like if you're able to go to sleep

[11:35] you have a difficult time staying asleep

[11:38] or it could be the reverse you have a

[11:39] very difficult time getting to sleep and

[11:42] then by the time that you do it's still

[11:45] kind of light and then it isn't long

[11:48] before you feel like you have to wake up

[11:50] when people are in this state of being

[11:53] they will often say I feel like I didn't

[11:55] slept sleep or even when their mind is

[12:00] going a million miles per hour they feel

[12:03] like they can still hear all of that and

[12:06] feel all of that as they're sleeping so

[12:09] if you can kind of hear yourself

[12:11] thinking or you wake up and you

[12:13] immediately know that you're to-do list

[12:16] is at top of Mind we've got some D

[12:19] disruption right there's a level of your

[12:21] peace of mind that isn't there because

[12:24] here's the thing when you have

[12:29] an appropriate level of peace in your

[12:34] life you can rest you can rest well you

[12:40] can rest without fear that it's not okay

[12:43] because you need to be doing something

[12:45] and you can rest whether that's wakeful

[12:47] rest during the day or in the evening

[12:50] without guilt so as a action step I

[12:54] really want you to consider what are you

[12:57] noticing about your sleep patterns

[13:00] now always take inventory if you

[13:02] recognize where your sleep patterns are

[13:04] being thrown off because of your work

[13:06] schedule or because you're staying up

[13:08] late and numbing which can also be a

[13:10] sign not on my list but definitely can

[13:12] be a sign that you're in a situation

[13:15] where piece of mind isn't there so

[13:16] you're trying to fill the mind with

[13:17] other things number five emotional

[13:21] eating and avoidance behavior so we

[13:24] actually could put the Doom

[13:27] scrolling and getting l lost in a

[13:31] Netflix or Amazon Prime series for hours

[13:33] and hours and hours at a time as a sign

[13:37] of emotional avoidance so when you're

[13:40] going through this cycle or you notice

[13:42] yourself here you are in a place where

[13:45] your brain is looking for dopamine based

[13:48] rewards to try to self soothe that can

[13:51] mean that we are eating outside of our

[13:54] typical patterns it can also mean that

[13:58] you are sleep ing outside of your

[14:00] typical pattern so on one hand you may

[14:02] not be sleeping well on the other hand

[14:05] you are constantly sleeping or having a

[14:07] desire to sleep because for you sleep is

[14:09] the only time that it seems like

[14:11] everything may go away other unhealthy

[14:14] coping mechanisms can look like the

[14:18] scrolling the comparison negative

[14:21] self-talk shopping drinking or

[14:27] overindulging in levels of intimacy to

[14:31] the point where it's not like oh it's

[14:33] this really beautiful thing between you

[14:35] and another person but it's literally a

[14:37] dopamine hit that isn't sustainable long

[14:40] term and the thing about avoidance

[14:43] behaviors and we can also rationalize

[14:45] our avoidance behaviors let me say this

[14:48] overworking is an avoidance behavior

[14:51] it's one that is rational people think

[14:53] oh my goodness you're amazing how do you

[14:55] find time to do all the things that you

[14:56] do and oh I'm just an achiever but also

[14:59] being being able to ask yourself are you

[15:01] working to the point that you're using

[15:03] that to avoid something at home or

[15:06] something in your life that feels out of

[15:09] your control and then you're looking at

[15:12] work or achievement as a means to gain

[15:16] the control that isn't really there so

[15:19] let me go through all five of those one

[15:21] more time in case you miss one number

[15:22] one persistant anxiety and restlessness

[15:25] number two difficulty focusing number

[15:28] three irritability and mood swings

[15:30] number four fatigue and sleep

[15:32] disruptions and number five emotional

[15:35] eating or avoidance behaviors I

[15:39] encourage you if you are comfortable to

[15:42] take some time and really write down

[15:46] your avoidance behaviors I gave a very

[15:49] brief overview of some of the avoidance

[15:52] behaviors that can be seen but you have

[15:56] some that are going to be specific to

[15:59] you and we repeat what we don't repair

[16:04] so if we are unwilling to look at our

[16:08] true state of stress and chaos and where

[16:11] peace of mind is lacking then we're

[16:14] going to be in a cycle of repeating the

[16:20] same non- coping

[16:22] mechanisms and recognizing that is part

[16:26] of what's hurting us and harming us

[16:30] in the long term I also want to remind

[16:33] you just as a neuroscience Insight that

[16:36] when you're in chronic stress your

[16:38] cortisol levels are constantly

[16:41] increasing that's going to weaken your

[16:43] neural Connections in the hippocampus

[16:46] which is that area of memory and

[16:49] learning and then it's going to

[16:51] strengthen the areas of your amydala

[16:53] that are centered around fear and then

[16:56] that creates a loop of anxiety and

[16:59] stress and that is absolutely not what

[17:04] we want for you I was having a

[17:07] conversation with a friend a few days

[17:10] ago and they said something that really

[17:14] was the Catalyst to me coming to you

[17:16] about this topic and I thought man

[17:19] that's a whole

[17:21] word their

[17:23] thought true peace of mind does not

[17:28] depreciate

[17:30] and I was

[17:32] like that is a whole word when we

[17:37] cultivate a

[17:40] Life

[17:42] Connections purpose and passions that

[17:46] align with what gives us peace then we

[17:49] will find that peace of mind is a

[17:53] constant and does not depreciate that is

[17:57] absolutely my desire for you as always

[18:02] thank you for spending time here with me

[18:04] in this space I hope that you heard at

[18:06] least one thing that can help support

[18:08] you through anything that you're

[18:10] experiencing continue to stay connected

[18:12] with me whether that's on codre the

[18:16] mental Wellness app that I'm on twice a

[18:18] week on Wednesdays and Sundays you can

[18:20] find me on Instagram and Facebook and

[18:23] YouTube some of you may even be watching

[18:25] this podcast there and it's also of

[18:28] course available on Spotify iTunes and

[18:31] your favorite podcast streaming

[18:35] Center I want you to believe in what's

[18:38] possible for your life I want you to

[18:41] know that you are not subject to chaos

[18:45] but peace of mind is available to you

[18:48] but you have to do the work I'll see you

[18:51] soon

Dr.Charryse Johnson
ArtistDr.Charryse Johnson

Dr.Charryse Johnson is a Charlotte-based psychotherapist, author, speaker and yoga practitioner whose work joins trauma, somatic integration, spirituality, social justice and inclu…

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Peace-of-mindEmotional-regulationStress-awarenessWindow-of-toleranceInternal-weather

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

Dr. Charryse Johnson names persistent anxiety and restlessness, difficulty focusing, and irritability with mood swings as the first three signs. She also points to sleep disruption, fatigue, and avoidance or self-soothing through streaming, shopping, drinking, or emotional eating. She invites listeners to add signs she does not name.
No, according to Dr. Charryse Johnson, peace of mind is intended to be much more than relaxation. She describes it as including emotional regulation, being in harmony with what is happening in your life, your capacity to manage stressors, and mental clarity when facing decisions.
Johnson says peace of mind cannot depend on everything in life being great, because seasons of perfect ease are not real. She argues that regardless of chaos, change, or uncertainty, it is possible to access a degree of peace that makes daily life feel better.
Johnson notes that she often sees anxiety in male-identifying individuals show up as irritability or anger rather than the classic racing heart. She encourages people to check their picture of what anxiety looks like, since its signs can be subtle or very large.
In Johnson's framing, the window of tolerance is the range of activation you can stay within. When emotional dysregulation pushes you outside it, your nervous system becomes overstimulated, which can make focusing difficult. She also notes neurodiversity, a heavy workload, menopause, and hormonal shifts can affect focus.
Johnson explains that many people keep composure at work because of the consequences of losing it there, then let their guard down with trusted friends and family. Strong, type A, or constantly masking people may show one face outwardly while feeling something different inside.
Johnson asks listeners to take time and write down what they notice, building self-awareness of their internal state and coping mechanisms. Track anxiety, focus, irritability, sleep, and avoidance habits, and note your personal baseline so you can recognize when something shifts.

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