Transcript
[0:01] All right. So, this evening will be the,
[0:03] uh,
[0:03] following our hallowed Wat Nong Pa Pong
[0:06] tradition. It's one of the things that
[0:07] defines us as a Wat Nong Pa Pong
[0:10] branch monasteries that we have these
[0:13] end of vassa Dhamma talks
[0:16] given by
[0:17] all of the, uh, people who don't
[0:19] normally give Dhamma talks.
[0:21] So, yeah, I'll I'll be calling on people
[0:23] and whoever comes up, you can just, uh,
[0:25] begin by bowing to Luang Por,
[0:28] ask permission, and then
[0:30] and do your,
[0:31] uh, namo tassa three times and begin the
[0:34] talk.
[0:36] So, I'll, uh,
[0:38] I don't know who's going to go first.
[0:41] I'll try to be as random as possible.
[0:44] >> [snorts]
[0:45] >> Okay, so there's
[0:46] one in our midst, uh, so all of, uh, the
[0:50] non-ajahns are giving talks, and there's
[0:52] one in our midst who, technically, he
[0:54] becomes an ajahn tomorrow at dawn. So,
[0:57] he can he can give a talk.
[1:00] So, Ajahn Sudiko.
[1:02] >> [panting]
[1:03] [laughter]
[1:06] [snorts]
[1:10] >> Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[1:14] Sambuddhassa.
[1:16] Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[1:20] Sambuddhassa.
[1:22] Namo tassa Bhagavato
[1:25] Arahato Samma Sambuddhassa.
[1:29] Buddham Dhammam Sangham Namassami.
[1:34] >> Well, I didn't think I was going to have
[1:37] to give a talk tonight, so I didn't
[1:38] think about it,
[1:39] which,
[1:41] maybe, might make this better.
[1:43] >> [laughter]
[1:43] >> Uh,
[1:46] one of the things I appreciate about the
[1:48] Luang Por Chah tradition is that, um,
[1:51] his encouragement just to
[1:53] freestyle the Dhamma talk, if you will,
[1:56] and that's actually
[1:58] something, uh,
[2:00] I remember being very, uh, upset with,
[2:02] uh, roommate of mine telling me he
[2:04] didn't believe that it existed because
[2:07] it's a big fan [snorts] of freestyle hip
[2:09] hop and it's actually
[2:12] it's actually, uh,
[2:14] part of your brain that you can develop.
[2:16] Like, uh, it's a neurological I mean,
[2:18] they can map that onto your
[2:20] uh, cognitive ability.
[2:23] So, it's a good good, uh, skill to
[2:26] develop and what it really encourages us
[2:29] to do as practitioners is to always be,
[2:33] uh, continuously reflecting on Dhamma
[2:35] themes.
[2:37] So,
[2:38] part of that is, um,
[2:40] picking up a theme and then sticking
[2:42] with it and making, uh, like a coherent
[2:46] Dhamma discourse, which is a bit harder
[2:49] to do.
[2:50] And, uh, certainly I've thought a lot
[2:53] about this
[2:55] 10th vassa and getting this new title of
[3:00] Ajahn, which just means teacher and in
[3:03] many ways it's just, uh,
[3:05] another thing to let go of. Uh, 10 years
[3:08] is
[3:09] nothing to be sneezed at, as Luang Por
[3:11] says.
[3:12] It's [snorts] certainly a commitment,
[3:14] but in another sense it's really kind of
[3:16] just a drop in a bucket.
[3:18] And, uh, in many ways I feel like, you
[3:22] know, the practice is really just
[3:24] beginning to blossom,
[3:26] uh, for me.
[3:27] And that it continues to be dynamic,
[3:30] unfolding and a continuing
[3:33] continuing process of investigation and
[3:36] insight.
[3:38] So,
[3:39] hopefully I'll have, uh, something more
[3:41] to say. I've certainly thought about
[3:43] I think a lot about different Dhamma
[3:45] talks or different themes to talk about,
[3:48] uh,
[3:49] if I were to ever be asked to give a
[3:51] talk. Mainly
[3:53] to repay the debt of gratitude for the
[3:56] Sangha's support and, uh, this
[3:59] lifestyle. It's a very
[4:01] it's a great blessing to be able to
[4:04] ordain and
[4:06] live as a monastic in this world being
[4:08] completely dependent on
[4:11] the lay community for support and our
[4:14] monastic brothers.
[4:16] The community
[4:17] brothers and sisters, monks and nuns
[4:20] ordained and unordained.
[4:23] So
[4:25] with that, you know, as a teacher
[4:29] or or trying to teach or trying to
[4:31] become a teacher or share some of the
[4:34] knowledge that you may have may have
[4:37] developed in your own practice
[4:40] I feel like you know, it's actually the
[4:42] precepts
[4:44] and people's own dedication to keeping
[4:48] the precepts and developing their own
[4:50] practice is what's going to teach them
[4:52] the most.
[4:54] So
[4:55] not sure how much uh
[4:57] more insight I can offer at this point
[5:00] other than just express uh
[5:02] a deep appreciation for
[5:04] all the support over the years and takes
[5:07] a
[5:08] just as it takes a
[5:10] village to raise a child, it takes a
[5:12] Sangha to raise
[5:15] Ajahn. And I really hope to uh
[5:19] >> [clears throat]
[5:19] >> be able to live up to the title and also
[5:23] you know, to support everybody in their
[5:26] practice and
[5:27] continue or
[5:29] maybe in another good way of teaching is
[5:31] to be a good example.
[5:34] You know, I think that you don't
[5:35] necessarily need to get up and
[5:38] tell people about the Buddhist teachings
[5:40] but rather through living them by
[5:43] keeping Sila and
[5:44] practicing is that you become
[5:47] what you want to be in the world and
[5:50] that's an example of the Buddhist
[5:51] teachings of a deep serenity and peace
[5:55] and I think
[5:57] we can all do that. You don't have to be
[5:59] ordained.
[6:01] Uh anybody that's practicing can
[6:04] through living
[6:05] the Buddhist teachings can become a
[6:07] teacher in their own right
[6:09] just by
[6:11] their interactions the world and their
[6:14] the way they move through the world,
[6:15] their their calmness and
[6:17] being.
[6:19] I think that
[6:21] was one of the many things that really
[6:25] started this journey for me was
[6:28] meeting Luang Por [clears throat]
[6:29] Pasanno many many years ago and he
[6:32] didn't have to
[6:34] say or really
[6:36] give me any teachings like direct
[6:38] teachings about it but rather just
[6:39] seeing him
[6:41] and
[6:43] interacting with him and being around
[6:44] him and seeing this, you know, just kind
[6:47] of wise, happy
[6:49] >> [snorts]
[6:49] >> kind man that's just totally at ease in
[6:52] the world was inspiring enough to start
[6:55] the inquiry of, you know,
[6:57] uh what is he doing? You know, what is
[6:59] it cuz I'd never met somebody like him.
[7:01] I've never met anybody like the monks,
[7:04] senior monks.
[7:05] And to
[7:07] you know, see people that are living
[7:08] much more harmoniously than the people I
[7:11] knew in the world.
[7:12] And that was really the spark to start
[7:16] the practice for me.
[7:18] So,
[7:19] just encourage everybody to keep the
[7:22] precepts,
[7:23] be good Buddhist, lives up to the
[7:25] teachings and
[7:27] in that way we can help influence and
[7:30] shape the world by interacting or
[7:33] influencing people around us and uh
[7:37] yeah.
[7:38] I think I'll leave it there for this
[7:39] evening and just say thank you to
[7:41] everyone.
[7:42] >> [clears throat]
[7:45] >> It's a good first
[7:47] talk.
[7:51] Okay, I'll try to make this
[7:53] really as random as possible.
[7:56] >> [snorts]
[7:58] >> All right, one of our
[8:01] samaneras
[8:03] samanera Chandima.
[8:09] >> Namo
[8:36] >> All right.
[8:38] Last year I went first.
[8:40] This year I'm going second.
[8:44] Around next year maybe I'll go third.
[8:47] We'll see what happens.
[8:49] I think what came up for me most this
[8:51] fossil was
[8:53] be how difficult it is to just keep
[8:55] things simple.
[8:57] Yeah, even basically just
[9:00] doing the same basically the exact same
[9:02] thing every single day.
[9:04] Yeah, I'm still
[9:06] able to complicate everything.
[9:10] So yeah, I was um
[9:12] just thinking about why why is it so
[9:14] difficult
[9:15] to keep things simple and and um
[9:18] the other day I I was thinking about
[9:21] when I was a kid I would um
[9:23] I would drive by
[9:24] these fields of cows just
[9:28] doing the same thing every day. You see
[9:30] a cow, it's basically either
[9:33] sitting down or eating grass. And
[9:35] that's about the only thing a cow does.
[9:38] Um
[9:40] and um but yeah, they don't they don't
[9:42] really seem to mind.
[9:44] They can just basically do that every
[9:46] day.
[9:47] So yeah, I was kind of thinking about
[9:50] why
[9:51] can't I do that or or how how could I
[9:54] actually apply that to practice and
[9:57] I was kind of thinking about how like um
[9:59] like the field that a cow is in is like
[10:02] whatever theme
[10:04] that you want to contemplate. So
[10:06] last winter retreat we did the four
[10:08] foundations of mindfulness, but you
[10:09] could
[10:10] I guess really do whatever you want. You
[10:12] can contemplate sila.
[10:15] But yeah, so you just find the field
[10:18] that you want to walk around.
[10:20] And then
[10:21] just once a cow knows that it's in a
[10:24] field, it just starts eating the grass.
[10:27] So,
[10:29] yeah, that I found that pretty helpful
[10:30] because even even something as simple as
[10:33] watching air go into my nose and leave
[10:37] my nose, I can still somehow contemplate
[10:39] that.
[10:40] Or somehow make that complicated.
[10:44] Like I make that complicated. I'm I'm
[10:45] just breathing. But yeah, so this
[10:49] this happens, but I was I was thinking
[10:51] like, "Oh, okay. Well, you just Okay,
[10:53] well, this is what I'm going to do for
[10:54] the next like 20 minutes.
[10:56] I'm just going to do this and um
[10:59] and then so the cow just starts eating
[11:00] the grass and you can just
[11:02] either think about the theme you want to
[11:04] think about
[11:06] or
[11:07] you know, just watch the object you want
[11:09] to watch, but
[11:10] yeah, I don't know. I just found
[11:12] that sort of
[11:14] simplified everything because
[11:17] most of my environment seemed to be
[11:19] complicated by default.
[11:21] So, random random things will happen and
[11:24] kind of stir me up.
[11:26] It's like, "Oh, it's just thinking about
[11:28] this, thinking about that.
[11:30] What do I do?" And then
[11:32] yeah, just complicating everything. So,
[11:34] just started thinking um
[11:36] thinking about that. So, this is the
[11:38] field I want to
[11:39] graze and just start eating the grass
[11:42] and then
[11:43] I guess when a cow
[11:44] is full, then it just is like, "I'm just
[11:46] not going to eat any grass anymore." and
[11:48] it like lays down.
[11:51] And so,
[11:53] made me think about Luang Por basically
[11:55] always encouraging us to check in
[11:58] check in with myself. He's more okay,
[12:00] well, was is what you're doing like
[12:02] working?
[12:03] You get really confused. And well, is
[12:05] this the problem? Is that the problem?
[12:06] Is
[12:07] It's like, "Oh, yeah, well, you're
[12:08] you're suffering." So,
[12:10] there you go. You're You're still
[12:11] suffering.
[12:13] And so, then I just asked myself, "Okay,
[12:15] well,
[12:16] is this like working at all?
[12:18] I'm still suffering. Okay, I'm still
[12:20] suffering. What is
[12:22] What is the reason? And what's what's
[12:24] making me suffer? And so,
[12:27] just kind of thinking about three
[12:28] things. I can I can count to three.
[12:31] I can count to three. Three's Three's
[12:32] not that big of a number.
[12:33] >> [laughter]
[12:35] >> And um
[12:36] yeah, I don't know. That That's kind of
[12:37] the only thing
[12:39] that was coming up for me is
[12:41] how to make something that
[12:42] seems really
[12:44] complicated a lot a lot simpler. So,
[12:47] yeah, just appreciating this the support
[12:50] this Vasa and
[12:51] appreciating being able to even do this,
[12:54] to even live here and practice.
[12:57] So, yeah, just appreciating the lay
[12:58] community and
[13:00] the Sangha for their support and
[13:02] that's all I have tonight.
[13:06] >> Thank you, Tan Geno.
[13:08] And they uh
[13:10] we're quite compassionate tutor
[13:12] community here. They only have to sit on
[13:14] these uh mats.
[13:16] At Wat Pah Pong, you have to get up on
[13:18] the Dhamma seat
[13:19] in front of every
[13:20] hundreds of people.
[13:23] Speak in Thai.
[13:24] >> [laughter]
[13:26] >> Try to speak in Thai.
[13:28] Okay, really trying to make this random.
[13:33] Okay, Tan Gino.
[13:36] At first I thought, "Wait, is he even
[13:38] here?"
[13:39] >> [laughter]
[13:39] >> Okay, yes, he's here. Yeah.
[13:46] >> Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[13:50] Sambuddhassa.
[13:51] Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[13:55] Sambuddhassa.
[13:56] Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[14:00] Sambuddhassa.
[14:02] Buddham Dhammam Sangham Namassami.
[14:07] >> I think my talk will be a bit briefer
[14:09] this evening. I don't
[14:11] have too much to say, I don't think. I'm
[14:14] feeling a bit cloudy-minded
[14:17] past week or so, but
[14:20] I guess one thing I've been reflecting
[14:22] on that is
[14:24] you know, it's just that would just be
[14:25] feeling cloudy-minded.
[14:27] So, kind of just whatever is coming up
[14:31] using that rather than judging it as
[14:33] good or bad or I [clears throat] got to
[14:35] get away from this. I got to get
[14:37] out of this.
[14:39] So, that's something that really
[14:40] interests me about Dharma practice
[14:42] because
[14:44] that means you can use anything for
[14:45] practice.
[14:47] You know, the good or the bad or you're
[14:49] feeling
[14:50] a lot of doubt or
[14:52] not sure how to proceed in that you
[14:54] know, in that very moment you can use
[14:57] [clears throat] that for
[14:59] a moment to be present and aware of just
[15:01] what's happening.
[15:03] So,
[15:05] just enjoying that lately in a way
[15:06] because sometimes you know, things can
[15:09] be going good and then that's great. We
[15:11] like it, but also
[15:13] we can learn to like and appreciate when
[15:15] things are going not so good because cuz
[15:18] that's an also a different opportunity
[15:20] that we
[15:21] might sometimes avoid uh
[15:24] just witness and pay attention to.
[15:28] So, uh
[15:30] yeah, and another I guess one other
[15:33] thing I've been
[15:34] >> [clears throat]
[15:34] >> working with practicing with it is um
[15:38] kind of the not sure quality of uh
[15:42] sometimes things just start out and
[15:45] you think it's bad, but then it ends up
[15:47] being good. You know, you at the first
[15:50] you might judge it this is bad.
[15:52] And then you would you proceed with it
[15:54] and then maybe just in the next moment
[15:56] next breath you see,
[15:58] "Oh, that was just a perception, you
[16:00] know, this this can be good." And then
[16:01] the same thing too, "Oh, this is really
[16:04] good. This is good." And then you
[16:06] you act on that and oh, that wasn't so
[16:08] good.
[16:10] So, uh
[16:12] those are just a couple contemplations
[16:14] I'll
[16:14] share with you tonight. Thank you.
[16:19] >> Okay, we're blowing through these Dhamma
[16:21] talks.
[16:23] >> [laughter]
[16:24] >> We'll need a graduated discourse before
[16:27] long.
[16:28] Let's see. Okay, randomizer.
[16:32] Samana Hirindo.
[16:35] Doesn't have to be a graduated
[16:36] if you can be if you want.
[17:08] It's a really disembodied experience to
[17:10] hear my voice amplified all around me.
[17:14] So, I'm kind of like catching up with
[17:15] myself even as I speak. So, it's
[17:18] Yeah, this is kind of crazy, kind of
[17:19] freaky.
[17:21] Uh last year I pretty much cried my way
[17:24] through my entire Dhamma talks. So, uh
[17:26] this year let's hope to do a little bit
[17:28] better with that.
[17:29] Maybe [clears throat] not. Maybe we'll
[17:30] just cry our way through this one, too.
[17:32] Maybe some of you have noticed that uh
[17:35] as we've gone up that uh
[17:38] another another monastic will come and
[17:41] grab that sitting cloth and uh put it
[17:43] down while the other monastic is paying
[17:45] respects.
[17:47] This is really really really lovely
[17:49] seeing this happen. Even Ajahn Sudhiro
[17:51] came from all the way across the entire
[17:52] Dhamma hall to make sure that Tan Jino
[17:55] was supported there.
[17:57] And um
[17:58] yeah, there's it's just such a beautiful
[18:00] quality this this kind of attending to
[18:03] one another. And uh
[18:05] I remember back in 2018 during winter
[18:08] retreat
[18:10] Bhikku Bodhi showed up and uh I saw
[18:12] Luang Por like literally pouring pouring
[18:16] drinks and making sure that uh Bhikku
[18:19] Bodhi was was taken care of. And I've
[18:21] seen Luang Por Sucitto fall to his knees
[18:24] and offer three bundles of lavender to
[18:27] Luang Por and I've [clears throat] seen
[18:29] Tan Ajahn Yanakayo just absolutely be
[18:33] just flawless ubattaking Kruba Ajahns
[18:36] coming from Thailand and so it's not
[18:38] just these junior monastics that you see
[18:41] attending to you know, other monastics.
[18:44] It's It's like we get excited to support
[18:48] each other. We get like really really
[18:50] excited and
[18:52] this might sound really weird. This is
[18:54] not very worldly thought, but when I
[18:56] woke up this morning, I was so excited
[18:59] cuz I knew that it was the Uposatha and
[19:02] that uh
[19:03] today I would get to uh
[19:05] unburden Tan Ajahn Yanakayo by lifting
[19:09] up his Sanghati off of his shoulder and
[19:12] uh this is one of my first thoughts I
[19:14] had today. I was just like I was like
[19:16] beside myself with excitement. I just
[19:19] like shot out of bed. I was like, "Oh,
[19:20] yes. Yes." And so maybe that's not every
[19:23] ubattak, but I really really like
[19:26] ubattaking and I remember the first time
[19:29] I ever saw this. I was a a freshly
[19:32] minted anagarika and you know, we had
[19:34] our our chanting. It was the end of
[19:36] Patimokkha and all of a sudden I saw Tan
[19:39] Hemako just go
[19:41] shooting across the mud and he was just
[19:44] bam, like right there. Right there
[19:47] behind Tan Ajahn Yanakayo and then bam,
[19:50] oh, Sanghati. And I was like, "What was
[19:52] that? That was crazy." And for me that
[19:55] was just like, "Oh, my god. I've got
[19:57] [clears throat] to be an ubattak, man."
[19:59] You know, I was just like, "I want to be
[20:00] an ubattak so bad."
[20:03] And uh I remember
[20:05] uh Samanera Virindo he got to ubattak
[20:08] someone and then remember Samanera
[20:11] Jinanno got to ubattak someone and I was
[20:13] just like 6 months in. I was just like,
[20:15] "I don't get to ubattak anybody."
[20:17] You know, and so I'm flipping shoes left
[20:19] and right around the monastery and I'm
[20:21] sure that, you know, a lot of you have
[20:23] been victims of my upatakin before I got
[20:26] to upatak Ajahn Yanakorn was kind of
[20:28] foreseeing my upatakin on everybody. I
[20:31] still do a little bit, mhm. And uh
[20:34] yeah, especially when Ajahn Yanakorn is
[20:35] out of town. But uh
[20:37] I remember then I was
[20:40] given this opportunity and I did kind of
[20:42] ask for it to be Ajahn Yanakorn's
[20:44] upatak.
[20:45] And uh yeah, it was very exciting. I
[20:48] remember my first patty mugga.
[20:51] I was going to get [clears throat] to
[20:53] get that sanghati. Oh my god, I was so
[20:56] excited. And so we got this we got this
[20:58] chanting, you know, we do at the end and
[21:01] you know, I was like, "Oh, I was locked
[21:03] into the chanting." But, you know,
[21:04] really I was thinking about the you
[21:06] know, getting that sanghati.
[21:09] And so uh yeah, we get through the
[21:11] chanting, we bow once, and I'm just kind
[21:14] of like creeping forward a little bit
[21:17] off of my off of my my mat, you know.
[21:20] We bow twice,
[21:22] creeping a little bit forward, you know.
[21:24] We bow three times and I'm like Usain
[21:26] Bolt, you know, like right off the
[21:28] starting blocks, like just ready to
[21:30] shoot across that room. And then boom,
[21:33] I go flying across the room and
[21:36] [clears throat] it's just like I'm so
[21:37] locked in on that sanghati and I'm just
[21:40] so excited and it's just like, you know,
[21:43] >> [snorts]
[21:43] >> yeah, it's just
[21:44] just an absolute blur and somewhere in
[21:48] the recesses of my mind I I hear voices.
[21:51] And this is kind of an uncommon
[21:52] occurrence during the end of patty
[21:54] mugga. Like, why would people be
[21:55] talking? I hear like, "Woah, woah, woah,
[21:56] woah, woah, woah, woah." You know, and
[21:58] just like I'm up at the front of the
[22:00] room and I and I look to the right and
[22:02] Ajahn Chunda is like, "We've got to pay
[22:05] respects to Luang Por first."
[22:07] And I remember looking up
[22:10] and seeing Ajahn Guy towering over the
[22:13] top of me.
[22:14] >> [laughter]
[22:15] >> And he looks down at me and he says,
[22:17] "Keep your shirt on, Sparky."
[22:20] >> [laughter]
[22:25] >> Yeah,
[22:27] >> [cough]
[22:27] [laughter]
[22:29] >> I was fairly aptly named Harindo because
[22:33] I felt an immense amount of shame in
[22:35] that moment.
[22:36] And I received a bit of feedback around
[22:38] it and most everybody said that was
[22:41] pretty amazing.
[22:43] But don't ever do that again.
[22:46] >> [laughter]
[22:47] >> And uh
[22:49] yeah, ubha taking is one of the
[22:50] hallmarks of the Luang Por Chah
[22:52] tradition, but
[22:53] it goes back all the way to the time of
[22:55] the Buddha.
[22:57] And when when we think about it, you
[22:59] know, it's
[23:00] the Buddha even after receiving this
[23:02] this enlightenment
[23:04] chose to teach.
[23:06] And this act of teaching is like one of
[23:08] the greatest acts of service and ubha
[23:10] taking that that one could ever possibly
[23:12] imagine and it's just so hard to do.
[23:15] And it just passed all the way down, all
[23:17] the way down, all the way down, you
[23:18] know.
[23:19] And it's not just the ubha tak
[23:22] that's attending to the to the sasana
[23:25] and to the monastics and to the lay
[23:28] audience. We were all supporting each
[23:30] other through these acts of generosity.
[23:33] These acts of service. The robes I'm
[23:35] wearing right now,
[23:37] I'm actually wearing Tan Hemako's G1 and
[23:39] he was
[23:41] Ajahn Yaniko's ubha tak before me.
[23:44] And I'm wearing a sabong that was
[23:48] [clears throat] sewed by Ajahn Kantiko
[23:50] and I'm wearing a jacket that was given
[23:53] to me by Ajahn Yaniko and my belly is
[23:56] filled with the food that the lay
[23:58] audience gave me. It's this There's
[24:00] nothing
[24:02] currently kind of
[24:04] on my body or really in my body that
[24:08] that I just gave myself, you know.
[24:11] And
[24:12] these acts of service are just are just
[24:14] so beautiful. They're just so beautiful.
[24:17] And we come here, we come to this place
[24:20] just unique
[24:22] among the entire world
[24:24] where
[24:25] everything everything is built upon
[24:27] generosity.
[24:29] Everything everything we have,
[24:30] everything we do. And I just see all the
[24:33] faces of the laity and they're just
[24:35] filled with so much joy to just come
[24:38] here and and and and have these these
[24:40] beautiful fearless acts of generosity.
[24:43] They just come here just to just to just
[24:45] to support. And no one's asking them to
[24:48] do that. There's no like secret kind of
[24:50] like, you know,
[24:51] I don't know, person that's going to
[24:53] like give you a ticket or tell you, "Oh,
[24:54] you didn't you know, meet your quota
[24:56] for, you know, being generous." It's
[24:58] just you wake up and you're like, "Oh
[25:01] man, you know, I'm going to I'm going to
[25:03] go and, you know, I'm [clears throat]
[25:04] going to get that sanghati off of, you
[25:06] know, Ajahn Ñāṇiko's shoulder today, you
[25:08] know. I'm going to go to the monastery
[25:09] and cook this beautiful dish." It's just
[25:11] like it's all enmeshed and we're all
[25:13] serving each other in this whole thing.
[25:16] And I remember
[25:17] one of the first times I ever had a
[25:19] conversation with Luang Por, this was
[25:22] about 2 months of me living in here uh
[25:24] living here in 2018.
[25:27] I had uh
[25:28] decided that I wanted to just be the one
[25:31] to do tea time for Luang Por and uh
[25:34] Ajahn Ṭhānayano and Ajahn Dhammadharo
[25:35] very compassionately gave up the tea
[25:37] times for me and so I did tea time for 2
[25:40] months straight just so I could be with
[25:42] Luang Por and uh
[25:44] I watched him just tirelessly tirelessly
[25:48] just answer people's questions and be
[25:50] there for people day after day after day
[25:52] after day.
[25:54] And I remember maybe like 3 or 4 weeks
[25:56] in, there was no one there and I was
[25:59] just kind of sitting in the back of the
[26:01] the room and I hadn't really talked to
[26:02] Luang Por up until that time and
[26:05] he says in his, you know, his normal
[26:07] way, you know, "So, Theo, you know,
[26:10] how's it going? How are you settling
[26:12] in?" And I said,
[26:14] "Well, Luang Por,
[26:16] I'm filled with doubt and I just I the
[26:19] suffering is crazy." And he looked at me
[26:22] and he laughed at me and he said,
[26:25] "Well, that's because you're
[26:25] delusional."
[26:27] >> [laughter]
[26:31] [snorts]
[26:31] >> And I was like, "Oh, okay, you know."
[26:34] >> [laughter]
[26:36] >> But then he followed that up with,
[26:38] "And you're in need of training." And
[26:40] then you're in need of training.
[26:42] And I think [clears throat] that what
[26:43] makes all this training possible
[26:46] is this generosity. Without generosity,
[26:48] there is no training.
[26:50] There [clears throat] is no training.
[26:51] Without these acts of service, there is
[26:52] no training.
[26:54] And I didn't really get that at the
[26:55] time. I knew that I wanted to be here
[26:57] and to be a part of this thing and to
[27:00] serve, but to like truly train in this,
[27:03] to truly be a part of this, and to
[27:05] receive the generosity of my brothers
[27:08] and the holy life that generously and
[27:10] entirely trained me.
[27:13] And and and are patient with me each and
[27:16] every single day as I as I learn and
[27:18] grow and make a lot of the same mistakes
[27:20] that they themselves made and they
[27:22] patiently patiently teach and
[27:25] and and and stand beside me in this.
[27:28] It just blows me away. It just blows me
[27:30] away. And so,
[27:32] today I just I feel an overwhelming
[27:35] sense of generosity for how much I I am
[27:38] indebted by this community. This
[27:41] community that that cares for me and
[27:43] there's nothing that I've ever
[27:45] experienced like this. And so, I just
[27:48] want to say thank you to all of my my
[27:50] brothers in the holy life and my my
[27:52] fathers and my uncles and my sons and
[27:56] yeah, it's just it's absolutely crazy
[27:58] that I get to live this life and uh
[28:01] Also, Debbie, thank you so much as well.
[28:03] Yeah.
[28:03] >> [laughter]
[28:05] >> Uh so, thank you all for being here
[28:06] tonight and thank you to the Bhikkhu
[28:08] Saṅgha for for taking me on. Yeah.
[28:13] >> 1/3 of the way through.
[28:15] >> [sighs]
[28:15] >> That's our fourth speaker. Thank you.
[28:19] Okay.
[28:21] Trying to
[28:22] make it random here.
[28:24] Anagarika Kyle is next.
[28:29] >> Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato
[28:32] Sammāsambuddhassa.
[28:35] Namo tassa Bhagavato
[28:50] >> Okay, so
[28:52] it's a
[28:54] full moon day. It's a full moon
[28:57] of October
[28:59] 8:40 p.m.
[29:01] I just got off my two-week solitary
[29:05] retreat.
[29:07] So, here we are.
[29:09] So, I'm I'm really grateful for that
[29:11] opportunity to
[29:13] to be up in the forest and just come
[29:16] down if I want to eat.
[29:18] And that just
[29:20] have quiet time to really lean into the
[29:23] practice.
[29:25] The um
[29:27] something that I
[29:30] thought maybe I'd talk about is just
[29:32] give some encouragement to
[29:35] follow the advice
[29:37] that we get.
[29:38] We get a lot of really really good
[29:40] teachings.
[29:42] And
[29:43] it's kind of
[29:45] like a recurring theme in my practice
[29:47] that I'll
[29:49] go down some
[29:50] rabbit hole of
[29:52] doubt or speculation or you know, trying
[29:55] to
[29:56] figure my way around something and then
[29:59] I think well, well, okay, well,
[30:02] okay, I've tried what I think. Now, I'll
[30:06] you know, I'll hear it hear it down the
[30:08] talk from Luang Por Ajahn Yana okay,
[30:10] I'll
[30:10] I'll give that a try and usually that
[30:12] works a lot better.
[30:14] So,
[30:15] and and it's
[30:16] a lot about finding the right um
[30:19] you know, the skillful means for the
[30:21] moment. It's not like you can just pick
[30:23] up uh
[30:24] there's a big
[30:26] there's a lot of advice like the Dhamma
[30:28] is kind of all
[30:30] the Buddha figured out the way to
[30:32] get to this
[30:34] goal worth getting to.
[30:36] And then he spent the next 45 years of
[30:40] his life just giving really good advice
[30:42] to people.
[30:43] And then
[30:44] people who followed that advice for the
[30:47] have carried it on and they've kept
[30:49] giving it and
[30:51] and it's here for us now to if we if we
[30:53] actually want to
[30:54] try it. You know, you just have to
[30:57] think
[30:58] you know, we think of where you're at
[31:00] and look around at what's around you and
[31:02] think about what you can actually do.
[31:03] It's not about
[31:05] you know, you can read these
[31:07] a lot of these suttas and okay, I need
[31:09] the advice I'm getting right now is to
[31:11] uh cultivate all four jhanas and then
[31:14] with uh I'll direct my mind toward the
[31:17] recollection of past lives and then with
[31:19] the divine eye I'll
[31:21] s- you know, [laughter and snorts]
[31:21] surpass I'll I'll I'll sur- purify and
[31:24] surpass this the human I'll see beings
[31:27] passing away and reappearing and
[31:29] I'll understand karma and then I'll
[31:30] understand the asavas and then I'll
[31:33] attain unsurpassed perfect enlightenment
[31:36] here and now.
[31:37] That advice is pretty simple.
[31:41] >> [laughter]
[31:44] >> So, but then there's other suttas that
[31:47] maybe you could read from those ones,
[31:48] too. And it and and it's more
[31:51] it's monks say it it's good to
[31:54] resort to a solitary dwelling. It's good
[31:56] to keep your dwelling clean. It's good
[31:58] to It's good [laughter] It's good to
[32:01] It's good to have good friends in the
[32:02] holy life and to like the Buddha's
[32:04] advice to Venerable Mahakassapa
[32:07] where he says when Mahakassapa's
[32:10] ordained and I I read the Kassapa Sutta
[32:14] on the good advice of Venerable Hirindo
[32:17] and it's
[32:18] really good advice the Buddha gives. He
[32:20] says you should do three things. You
[32:22] should
[32:23] when the Dhamma's being spoken, you
[32:25] should listen with a keen ear
[32:27] and you should never
[32:29] give up mindfulness of the body
[32:31] connected with joy
[32:33] and you should abide with a
[32:36] with a sense of hiri, with a sense of
[32:39] shame, with the sense of
[32:41] understanding that
[32:43] you know, if you
[32:44] there are certain things that are are
[32:46] not worthy of the kind of person that
[32:48] you're trying to be and you shouldn't do
[32:49] those things.
[32:51] And
[32:52] you know, that's advice that's very
[32:54] universal and it's advice that we get in
[32:56] all in all in some way, shape or form
[32:59] from
[33:00] you know, all the teachers of this
[33:01] tradition.
[33:03] Luang Por Mun, Luang Por Chah
[33:05] they're telling you
[33:07] come back to mindfulness of the body.
[33:08] Luang Por Pasanno, come back to
[33:10] mindfulness of the body, come back to
[33:11] the breathing.
[33:13] You know, you'll try to go off in all
[33:14] these different directions, but there's
[33:15] a there's this really good
[33:17] steady, simple advice that's here for
[33:19] you.
[33:21] Come back to goodwill towards yourself,
[33:23] come back to
[33:24] these foundational teachings
[33:26] and understand that there are things
[33:28] that that
[33:29] you are above, that
[33:31] >> [snorts]
[33:31] >> you you can go above
[33:34] and have a comfortable just way of
[33:36] being.
[33:38] Like you can be above having living in
[33:40] [clears throat] a dirty place. You can
[33:42] have a nice clean space.
[33:44] And if that's all that you can handle,
[33:46] you're not cultivate you're not
[33:48] surveying the world with the divine eye,
[33:50] but you're sweeping your floor
[33:53] then you're following the advice of the
[33:54] Buddha and all the guru bhajans.
[33:57] And that's something that
[33:58] in my in my practice at least like if
[34:00] I'm having a
[34:02] a time where I'm
[34:03] you know, getting down on myself or I
[34:05] feel like my practice isn't going well
[34:06] or you can I can
[34:07] go I know I can go back to my kuti and I
[34:09] can read The Way Forward
[34:11] and I can read Luang Por Ban talking
[34:13] about oh, it's
[34:15] it's not that hard. You can just sweep
[34:16] around your kuti and take care of your
[34:18] belongings and
[34:20] really be with this perception that
[34:22] you're you're above being someone who
[34:24] lives in filth.
[34:26] And you can have a
[34:28] a clean way of being and a and a and an
[34:30] easeful way of being.
[34:32] And then I can sweep my floor and I can
[34:34] it's not just sweeping my floor, it's
[34:35] following the advice of all the guru
[34:37] bhajans and it's
[34:38] following in the footsteps of something
[34:40] [snorts] really great.
[34:42] And you're really doing it. You're
[34:44] really following the advice.
[34:46] So, just
[34:48] just finding advice that's
[34:50] timely, advice that's
[34:53] fitting for your character type.
[34:55] And there's
[34:57] you know, advice that's
[34:58] universal. Like if you want to
[35:02] attain happiness here and in the future,
[35:04] then
[35:05] generosity and keeping precepts and and
[35:08] mindfulness, these are things that are
[35:09] just going to bring good fruit. They
[35:12] can't not bring good fruit. You can't
[35:15] by not
[35:17] killing and stealing and and engaging in
[35:20] sexual misconduct and and wrong speech
[35:24] and taking intoxicants. By By By not
[35:27] taking intoxicants, you'll never
[35:29] be sitting there and I just you know,
[35:31] you'll never be beset by those kinds of
[35:33] feelings. It just can't happen. The kind
[35:36] of feelings of regret and feelings of
[35:37] dullness and
[35:39] feelings of
[35:40] not being so sure of of what your
[35:42] intentions were.
[35:44] And then the
[35:46] going from the five precepts to the
[35:47] eight precepts, you can
[35:49] with that sense of hiri,
[35:52] you can feel, oh, like there's
[35:55] there is this way of just
[35:58] living a life that is happy, but there's
[36:00] also this way of
[36:02] kind of going beyond the ways of
[36:04] this push and pull with the world that
[36:07] comes from things like
[36:09] like indulging in the food that we want
[36:10] to get or
[36:12] or sleeping on, you know, big luxurious
[36:14] furniture or entertainment or
[36:17] the singing and dancing and it can sound
[36:19] harsh if you're looking at it from them
[36:21] like a moral perspective on
[36:23] like kind of a
[36:25] you know, the way we're we're brought up
[36:26] in the West. It's like
[36:28] the the good and evil.
[36:30] Well, what's the evil in
[36:32] in singing and dancing?
[36:35] But
[36:36] if you're
[36:37] I mean, and there's suttas where the
[36:39] Buddha is you know, an actor will go to
[36:41] the Buddha
[36:42] and say, you know,
[36:44] "Lord, in our In our tradition, we say
[36:46] that when
[36:48] when an actor passes away, they go to
[36:50] the heaven of the laughing angels."
[36:53] And what do you think about that? And
[36:54] and the
[36:56] >> [clears throat]
[36:57] [laughter]
[36:57] >> the blessed one
[36:58] was silent, which is a
[37:01] a sure sign that you shouldn't go do the
[37:03] umpitatiumpi.
[37:05] Cuz you're not going to like the answer,
[37:07] but he goes do the umpi.
[37:10] He says the second time, "Blessed one,
[37:12] you know,
[37:13] we say this about actors, they go to the
[37:15] heaven of the laughing angels." And a
[37:16] third time,
[37:18] and the blessed one says,
[37:19] you know,
[37:20] "I don't [clears throat] even want to
[37:21] tell you this, but you asked three
[37:23] times, so
[37:24] >> [laughter]
[37:25] >> they actually go to the hell of the
[37:28] laughing demons."
[37:30] >> [laughter]
[37:31] >> It's tough.
[37:33] But it's not, you know, this isn't
[37:36] you can It's Oh, this is really harsh
[37:38] towards the actors. [laughter]
[37:41] But
[37:42] but uh
[37:44] but it's not because it's acting is like
[37:46] killing somebody, but it is this kind of
[37:49] when you're engaging in
[37:51] artistic expression, like I was a
[37:52] musician for a long time, or a lot of my
[37:54] life I've been really involved in music
[37:56] and playing music and writing music, and
[37:59] you do get into this state
[38:01] where you want
[38:03] what like when a great music when a
[38:05] musician is really
[38:07] great
[38:08] and respected, and people, you know, you
[38:10] go to a a show, and wow, that's really
[38:12] amazing, it's cuz they made you feel
[38:14] something, and you could see that they
[38:15] felt it.
[38:17] But
[38:18] is that the kind of thing we want to be
[38:19] cultivating in our lives where we have
[38:21] these pre-recorded You go to the book
[38:24] of, you know, songs you've written, "Oh,
[38:25] this is the sad song."
[38:27] And you want to go up on stage, you want
[38:29] to play your sad song.
[38:31] And if you go to a show and someone's
[38:33] singing a song about how sad they are,
[38:35] but they're smiling and laughing, and
[38:37] they're clearly really happy, you'd be
[38:39] like, "This guy's like totally faking.
[38:40] Like he's totally
[38:42] He's trying to Who does he think he is?"
[38:45] He's not a good
[38:46] You're not moved by it.
[38:48] But, this isn't a teaching for being
[38:50] moved
[38:52] in in these really entertaining and
[38:55] powerful emotional ways. This is a
[38:57] teaching for not being moved when really
[39:00] powerful emotions and powerful
[39:02] experiences come up and you can be
[39:04] steady and you can
[39:06] not go along with the flow of these
[39:07] things.
[39:09] So, there's a
[39:11] plug for not um
[39:14] being a
[39:15] a musician.
[39:17] >> [laughter]
[39:23] >> But,
[39:25] a a real plug for just um
[39:28] following things that, you know, someone
[39:31] appears really steady and
[39:33] if someone appears like they can, you
[39:35] know, go through all the
[39:37] great highs and lows and like they can
[39:39] take you through these great stories
[39:41] where they suffered, but then they,
[39:43] you know, it's like, do I want to follow
[39:45] through this whole story or do I want to
[39:46] follow the people who they
[39:48] have a story where they saw suffering
[39:50] and they they saw it for what it was and
[39:51] then they got the end of it.
[39:54] And
[39:55] I'm really grateful just to add to this
[39:58] add to the
[39:59] songs of gratitude
[40:01] that have been shared up here tonight.
[40:03] I'm really grateful for everybody
[40:05] and for
[40:07] yeah, taking me in as as an anagarika.
[40:10] I'm really grateful for Tristan who's
[40:12] been my
[40:13] anagarika
[40:15] compatriot for the last 5 months and I'm
[40:17] really grateful to anagarika Mike for
[40:19] being our new little brother.
[40:23] And then just, yeah, so grateful for all
[40:26] everyone who's
[40:27] guided me here.
[40:30] I think I'll
[40:32] leave it at that.
[40:35] >> Okay.
[40:36] Next up
[40:40] anagarika Tristan.
[40:43] >> Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[40:46] Sambuddhassa.
[40:48] Namo tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma
[40:51] Sambuddhassa.
[40:57] >> [snorts]
[41:03] >> And the the hell of the the laughing
[41:05] demons
[41:07] it's
[41:09] it's where the the tortures of hell in
[41:12] that hell
[41:13] it's like they're they're kind of actors
[41:16] in a play
[41:17] where they torture the people that are
[41:19] in that hell.
[41:21] They put on costumes and stuff and
[41:23] torture [clears throat] the
[41:25] people that went there.
[41:27] Some
[41:28] and it's a subject of debate whether the
[41:30] people that torture the people that are
[41:32] in hell
[41:34] are actual beings.
[41:36] Supposedly a way you could be reborn as
[41:38] a torturer is uh
[41:41] if you're a teacher that leads other
[41:44] people into hell
[41:45] >> [snorts]
[41:46] >> and you'd be the people the person that
[41:48] tortures them.
[41:50] One thing when we did the
[41:52] 108 TV shows
[41:55] we had a 10-minute break in between each
[41:58] 36.
[42:00] I'm not even sure if it was 9 minutes.
[42:03] It's a factor of 108.
[42:07] Something I like to think about is
[42:11] if you want to talk the talk, you have
[42:13] to have walked the walk.
[42:16] Yeah, if you're talking about
[42:18] mindfulness, but
[42:20] don't have [clears throat] any and
[42:22] it's probably best you just be mindful.
[42:25] You know, like [clears throat]
[42:26] just spray all the all the stuff off of
[42:28] the dishes
[42:29] instead
[42:30] talking about mindfulness.
[42:34] All right, [laughter] that's 5 minutes.
[42:38] Okay.
[42:39] >> [sighs]
[42:42] >> Next is Ton Obasi.
[42:46] >> Namo tassa Bhagavato arahato samma
[42:51] sambuddhassa
[42:53] Namo tassa Bhagavato
[43:11] >> So, it seemed like something that I
[43:14] heard about being talked about already
[43:16] in a number of talks and something I
[43:19] wanted to
[43:20] reflect upon is is
[43:22] is Sila.
[43:24] Because I think it's underrated.
[43:27] I think it's the cornerstone of kind of
[43:28] everything that we do and
[43:30] reflecting upon it again and again is
[43:32] just kind of like a
[43:34] I get really happy about it. It's like
[43:36] um
[43:37] how wonderful it is. You think like,
[43:40] "Oh, today
[43:42] I didn't do this. I didn't do that. I
[43:43] did this. I did that." But, I didn't
[43:45] kill anybody.
[43:46] That's pretty good.
[43:48] And then it goes even further. It's like
[43:50] I
[43:51] I didn't kill anybody. I didn't kill any
[43:53] animal. I didn't even swat a fly.
[43:57] I didn't steal.
[43:59] I didn't do anything sexual today and I
[44:02] didn't lie. I didn't take any
[44:04] intoxicants and
[44:06] I think the reason it's underrated is
[44:08] because it sounds so simple.
[44:10] It's like, "Well, yeah, of course." But,
[44:13] it's one thing to keep
[44:15] these things and it's another thing to
[44:17] bring it to mind again and again and
[44:19] again because
[44:21] it feels like the fertile soil
[44:24] for any kind of mind cultivation.
[44:27] Cuz it it seems to me a more subtle kind
[44:30] of
[44:31] contentment or joy than say the
[44:33] exhilaration you get from watching a
[44:35] movie or from having a conversation.
[44:37] Rather, it's the contentment that comes
[44:39] from not doing things based out of
[44:42] greed, hatred, and delusion.
[44:44] And I find the Buddha describes it
[44:46] masterfully
[44:48] when he talks about how
[44:50] just as a king who has defeated his
[44:52] enemies in all directions,
[44:55] He just has nothing to fear. There's
[44:57] no chance of the enemies coming back and
[44:59] attacking him. He can rest completely at
[45:02] ease. He feels completely safe.
[45:05] In the same way, a practitioner endowed
[45:07] with virtue,
[45:09] he
[45:11] senses no danger from any direction.
[45:14] He experiences a blameless
[45:17] kind of contentment internally.
[45:20] And so, I get really curious about this.
[45:22] It's like
[45:24] saying when I'm when I'm with myself and
[45:25] I'm just looking at my mind and what's
[45:27] going on today? What's running through
[45:28] the mind?
[45:30] There's always something to look at.
[45:31] It's like
[45:32] how can I improve my conduct so that I'm
[45:35] not harming anyone
[45:38] but others not myself?
[45:41] And these really simple ways and uh
[45:44] yeah, I just found the
[45:46] a lot of stability and and enjoy just
[45:49] reflecting upon these things again and
[45:50] again.
[45:51] Because it's just so simple. It's not
[45:53] like what did I accomplish today or what
[45:55] did I do? What did I obtain? It's like
[45:58] what did I not do?
[46:01] And so, I I
[46:02] I like to use curiosity as one of the
[46:04] driving factors for investigating the
[46:06] mind in terms of this blameless conduct,
[46:09] the the attempt at
[46:10] blameless conduct and going throughout
[46:13] the day and wondering well, like
[46:15] how can I be more harmless today? And
[46:18] how can I feel more at ease in the mind
[46:20] and the body throughout the day? And
[46:21] then
[46:22] sitting in quiet, sitting in solitude,
[46:24] something comes up
[46:26] and it's like it's like a moment for
[46:28] investigation. It's like I'm in a moment
[46:30] to purify.
[46:31] To make that baseline, that sort of
[46:34] home that Thanissaro is talking about,
[46:36] that mansion, trying to make it
[46:39] as comfortable
[46:40] as possible.
[46:43] And like I mentioned, the enemy goes in
[46:44] the exact opposite direction of all the
[46:46] pleasure that we're conditioned by and
[46:47] that we're so used to going for the easy
[46:49] stuff, the
[46:51] the food, the sex, the music, the
[46:53] movies.
[46:55] It's all in the exact opposite direction
[46:57] of
[46:58] I kind of feel happy just doing nothing,
[47:00] just being with my own mind.
[47:03] And I just I I want to
[47:06] I really want to give a shout-out for
[47:07] the joy that can come from that and for
[47:08] the energy and kind of curiosity that
[47:10] can come along with that because I think
[47:12] it can be presented in a rather dry
[47:14] manner. It's like you keep these
[47:15] precepts, you shall not do this, you
[47:16] shall do this and
[47:18] it sounds kind of dry and abstract and
[47:20] rigid.
[47:22] But I found it much more interesting and
[47:24] cyclical.
[47:25] Why am I doing this? Why do I choose not
[47:27] to kill things? Why do I choose not to
[47:29] steal?
[47:30] Why do I choose to limit entertainments?
[47:34] And I think that kind of questioning is
[47:37] endless and endlessly fruitful,
[47:39] honestly. Just getting very clear about
[47:40] that. Why are you living the way that
[47:42] you are? What are your intentions behind
[47:45] these things? And so, I find that as I
[47:47] question this personally, I get really
[47:48] curious about it. It's like
[47:50] So, I think that the precepts act as a
[47:52] scaffolding to look at your intentions.
[47:55] Look at well, am I doing anything? Am I
[47:57] acting out of the hindrances? Am I
[47:59] acting out of any way out of out of
[48:01] greed, hatred, or delusion in any way?
[48:03] And how can I
[48:04] how can I not do that?
[48:06] >> [clears throat]
[48:07] >> And so, I think it's it's difficult. It
[48:09] goes against the grain, but I uh
[48:12] also think it's really interesting and
[48:14] curious and it I think it leads to
[48:17] actual contentment rather than momentary
[48:21] gratification.
[48:24] And yeah, I I get kind of excited when I
[48:26] think about it. I get to keep the
[48:28] precepts for the rest of this life. I
[48:29] have that opportunity. There's like I
[48:31] get to not do unwholesome things to my
[48:34] best of my abilities as long as I live.
[48:37] And that's like such a such a wonderful
[48:38] thing. It's very rare to be able to do
[48:40] that. And so, having the choice to live
[48:42] that way, cultivate it continuously,
[48:45] bring it to mind again and again, and
[48:47] let that feed the practice in terms of
[48:48] joy, energy, curiosity. It feeds upon
[48:51] itself.
[48:52] And I found creates a stable platform
[48:55] for the mind to rest on.
[48:57] Yeah, so I find a lot of joy in
[49:01] purifying intention and searching for
[49:03] the intentions that aren't quite pure
[49:05] yet and questioning well, why is this so
[49:07] and
[49:08] how can it how can be more peaceful?
[49:11] How can be better?
[49:13] So yeah, just wanted to give a a shout
[49:16] out for the for the precepts and for
[49:18] Sila in general for being more of a
[49:19] playground than a laboratory rather than
[49:22] a a dry
[49:24] kind of jail cell.
[49:25] A dry prison.
[49:28] And yeah, I do I think that
[49:30] being able to live this way as a
[49:32] monastic or just by the Buddhist
[49:33] standards I've I've found
[49:36] this community and this place, this way
[49:38] of life to be extremely conducive for
[49:40] that.
[49:41] And they the energy of the Sangha here
[49:43] and the lay practitioners, everyone that
[49:44] comes to this place that I found so far,
[49:47] it is
[49:49] flooded with good intention. And so
[49:51] regardless of what happens externally, I
[49:54] have faith that the people here are
[49:55] acting with good hearts and there's a
[49:58] sense of safety that comes with that a
[49:59] sense of energy and helping each other
[50:02] out and so
[50:03] for that I have much gratitude for
[50:06] people that are
[50:08] putting forward their best effort to
[50:09] practice well
[50:11] every moment, every day and that
[50:13] cumulative energy is a beautiful and
[50:16] rare thing.
[50:18] So I wanted to thank the extended
[50:20] Sangha, both all the monastics and the
[50:22] and the Ajahns that lead the way
[50:25] as well as the lay community for yeah,
[50:28] coming together and putting forth good
[50:29] intentions every day and making
[50:31] both this monastery and the world a
[50:34] better place. So
[50:35] I'll leave that for reflection.
[50:39] >> All right. Well,
[50:41] he was probably dreading this, but
[50:43] Anagarika Mike.
[50:48] >> [laughter]
[50:50] [snorts]
[50:51] >> Namo tassa Bhagavato
[50:56] Arahato
[50:57] Samma Sambuddhassa.
[51:00] Namo tassa Bhagavato
[51:24] >> So, one random thought that popped into
[51:27] my head as I was listening to people
[51:29] talk was
[51:30] I remember
[51:32] my introduction
[51:33] to the Thai Forest tradition was reading
[51:36] Stillness Flowing and then I got into a
[51:38] bunch of the
[51:39] biographies of the greats.
[51:42] And I would lament to myself
[51:45] that there weren't any tigers in the
[51:46] world because it seemed like practice
[51:48] progressed a lot when people
[51:51] faced their fear and
[51:52] sat with tigers and I'm pretty sure this
[51:55] is the next best thing.
[51:57] >> [laughter]
[51:59] >> A microphone in a room full of people,
[52:01] so I'm going to give it a shot though.
[52:06] I guess one of the things that has
[52:08] sort of been rolling around for me was
[52:11] um
[52:12] after our
[52:14] exiting faster patimokkha today
[52:16] [clears throat]
[52:17] Luang Por gave a short talk and he
[52:20] talked about the importance of
[52:23] chanda or interest, desire
[52:26] for the wholesome, desire for practice
[52:29] and um
[52:30] And uh recently Ajahn Yana and I were
[52:33] driving out to Three Jewels and he was
[52:35] asking me how my time was going and I
[52:37] told him
[52:38] that uh one of the things I've really
[52:39] been appreciating is the differences
[52:41] that I'm actually seeing, the diversity
[52:43] of the monastic community.
[52:46] It can sometimes seem like a unified
[52:48] face.
[52:49] There's a lot of you know, commonality
[52:51] with just like the form.
[52:53] But during Pavarana you get to encounter
[52:55] the substance or when entering the
[52:57] monastic community you get to know
[52:58] people on a one-on-one
[53:00] basis and you get to see all these
[53:02] differences and um it's really valuable.
[53:05] It's like
[53:07] just to reflect that um
[53:09] perhaps
[53:10] there's that it's pointing to the
[53:12] universality of the truth of these
[53:14] teachings that such a diverse array of
[53:16] people are
[53:17] drawn to it and people you would find
[53:19] yourself
[53:20] maybe not interacting with as often on a
[53:22] day-to-day basis.
[53:24] You sit right next to them or
[53:26] you know, you get their perspective and
[53:28] so that's been
[53:29] really interesting for me.
[53:31] And I think
[53:33] from a desire perspective
[53:35] we have to find our voice.
[53:38] We have to
[53:39] figure out what works for us as you've
[53:41] heard Tenzin Palmo
[53:43] and Anyasa talk about.
[53:45] And
[53:46] I sort of see it as this flywheel
[53:49] that if you can get it up and running
[53:52] yeah, it's going to lead
[53:54] lead onward, lead to good things.
[53:56] And uh it
[53:58] in a lot of ways interest, generating
[54:00] interest is uh particularly important
[54:03] because
[54:04] interest leads to the mind engaging with
[54:07] the object.
[54:09] And when the mind engages with the
[54:10] object it absorbs into the object.
[54:13] And then at some point along the way
[54:15] it becomes more
[54:17] workable and um
[54:20] and then in you can
[54:22] you know, you can start to really
[54:23] investigate and generate insights and
[54:26] that's when your heart is sort of
[54:28] open to actually seeing or
[54:31] knowing with a capital K. You know, you
[54:34] know things with your mind but uh
[54:37] this is a process of knowing things with
[54:40] your heart.
[54:41] And it can be
[54:42] challenging
[54:44] because that interest has to be there
[54:46] for um
[54:48] yeah, for your heart to be sort of
[54:51] ready and willing and um
[54:54] so that was one thing that was coming up
[54:55] for me.
[54:56] And um
[54:58] when I used to uh I was also a musician
[55:01] and when I used to teach music I taught
[55:03] middle schoolers who were just starting
[55:05] on their instrument just like I'm sort
[55:07] of starting now.
[55:10] And um
[55:11] >> [clears throat]
[55:11] >> we would sort of split things into two
[55:13] pieces during the lesson.
[55:15] The first part would be
[55:17] we're going to work on
[55:19] what are called rudiments or sort of the
[55:20] building blocks of the instrument. How
[55:23] do you hold your sticks?
[55:24] You know, how do you play the drum just
[55:26] from
[55:27] a mechanical perspective.
[55:29] And that's really important, you know,
[55:31] that's some of the form that we pick up
[55:33] as monastics, the bowing,
[55:35] the chanting together,
[55:37] the way that the reflections are
[55:39] written.
[55:40] >> [clears throat]
[55:40] >> Those are sort of
[55:42] the mechanics or the the nuts and bolts
[55:44] of the practice.
[55:46] And then
[55:47] for the second half of the lesson, I
[55:48] mostly just focused on
[55:51] creating a sense of passion or love for
[55:54] the instrument, interest, if you will.
[55:57] And that's all about allowing the person
[55:59] to express himself, to be playful, to be
[56:01] creative,
[56:02] to pick their favorite song and play it.
[56:05] And then you would just sort of gently
[56:07] guide them and observe. And
[56:10] for myself,
[56:11] I found that that's really important in
[56:12] the practice.
[56:14] So, just to give a concrete example,
[56:17] metta or metta
[56:20] didn't really resonate with me for a
[56:21] long, long time.
[56:23] And um
[56:24] >> [clears throat]
[56:25] >> my interest was much more
[56:27] leaning toward the aesthetic and uh
[56:30] sort of the warrior ethos, if you will.
[56:34] And um
[56:35] but as my discernment
[56:38] grew about my own
[56:40] temperament and what worked and what
[56:42] didn't and trying things and
[56:44] them not working and having teachers
[56:45] point me
[56:47] in the right direction,
[56:48] >> [clears throat]
[56:48] >> I mean, I had an interest, but I didn't
[56:50] necessarily
[56:52] close the loop uh with my
[56:55] seeing, well, is this is this actually
[56:57] working?
[56:58] And for me, it was coming from
[57:00] you know, it was coming from the wrong
[57:02] place or the wrong attitude. I was
[57:03] holding it in the wrong way.
[57:05] And um so, I begrudgingly
[57:09] moved into metta.
[57:10] And part of the sticking point for me
[57:12] was I had no interest.
[57:14] The the language
[57:16] may all beings be at ease, it felt very
[57:19] dry.
[57:21] And uh then at some point along the way,
[57:24] I frustratedly started to find my voice.
[57:27] So as an example of my voice,
[57:29] there are millions of
[57:33] animals living on this property.
[57:36] And every single one of those animals
[57:37] has a heart.
[57:39] And every single one of those hearts is
[57:41] beating right now.
[57:43] And it's beating
[57:45] with
[57:46] fear, desire,
[57:48] just whatever living beings experience.
[57:52] And
[57:53] when I think about that,
[57:55] I can connect with a sense of warmth,
[57:58] tenderness,
[58:00] basically, yeah, metta.
[58:03] And um
[58:05] then I can watch that
[58:07] and feed that, and we're off to the
[58:08] races.
[58:10] And um so part of finding your voice is
[58:13] being willing to
[58:15] listen to what teachers tell you
[58:17] and give it a try.
[58:20] And when you start, it's going to be
[58:21] awkward, it's going to be weird, it's
[58:23] not going to quite
[58:25] Yeah, it you won't know how to do it.
[58:27] And then you'll find your voice.
[58:29] And
[58:31] I think part of that is allowing
[58:32] yourself to
[58:34] play, explore,
[58:35] you know, maybe you don't quite have it
[58:37] right,
[58:38] but you can kind of trust that
[58:40] it's in the right direction.
[58:43] So another example would be the triple
[58:45] gem.
[58:46] >> [clears throat]
[58:46] >> Like what does it mean to bow to the
[58:48] Buddha, the Dharma, the Sangha?
[58:51] To like actually take that into your
[58:52] heart.
[58:54] And I had to find my own voice with
[58:56] that. And so for me,
[58:59] the Buddha represents this capacity.
[59:02] And given my temperament, it's basically
[59:05] I can do this.
[59:08] I can do this.
[59:10] And the Dharma, his teachings,
[59:13] the way is known and available,
[59:17] and the Sangha.
[59:18] There are wise beings who want to help
[59:21] me
[59:22] if I make myself available for it.
[59:25] And then all of a sudden bowing becomes
[59:27] very powerful for me.
[59:29] It's no longer mechanistic.
[59:32] The mechanism of bowing is still there,
[59:33] but now it's in your heart.
[59:37] So,
[59:38] just a couple of thoughts.
[59:39] I think I'll leave it there.
[59:43] >> Well, there's only one more.
[59:46] So,
[59:48] Tan Rakkhita.
[59:52] >> Namo Tassa Bhagavato
[59:56] Arahato
[59:57] Samma Sambuddhassa. Namo Tassa Bhagavato
[1:00:04] Arahato Samma Sambuddhassa. Namo Tassa
[1:00:10] Bhagavato
[1:00:12] Arahato
[1:00:13] Samma Sambuddhassa.
[1:00:16] Buddham Dhammam Sangham Namassami.
[1:00:23] >> The handful of
[1:00:25] chocolate-covered espresso beans I ate a
[1:00:28] while ago is
[1:00:29] pretty much worn off.
[1:00:32] So,
[1:00:33] >> [laughter]
[1:00:36] >> bear with me. Uh um
[1:00:39] it's uh
[1:00:41] um um this is the last talk and uh yeah,
[1:00:45] don't don't confuse this with like uh
[1:00:48] maybe back, you know, like in the day
[1:00:50] going to a music festival and
[1:00:53] you sit through a string of
[1:00:56] other bands waiting to get to that final
[1:00:58] band and
[1:01:00] um
[1:01:01] it's it's nothing like that.
[1:01:05] It's more like uh some old man pushing a
[1:01:08] broom after a ticker-tape parade
[1:01:11] is what you're getting here.
[1:01:13] Um which suits me better anyway. Um,
[1:01:17] yeah, we've we've already had a lot of a
[1:01:19] lot of good talks already.
[1:01:21] And I'll I'll try to say a few words. Uh
[1:01:26] This last Vasa, it's been uh
[1:01:29] definitely one of the most pleasant,
[1:01:30] peaceful,
[1:01:32] calm, and um
[1:01:34] drama-free kind of time periods uh
[1:01:38] that that I can remember and uh
[1:01:41] kind of hearkens to a a stock phrase
[1:01:44] that's frequently mentioned in the
[1:01:47] in the Sutta regarding um
[1:01:49] like harmonious communities, which is uh
[1:01:53] they blend it like milk and water.
[1:01:56] And it really kind of had that feel.
[1:01:58] Except maybe it also had a little bit of
[1:02:01] sweet cocoa mixed in, too.
[1:02:03] It just There was a kind of a sweetness
[1:02:06] and a lot of kindness in the
[1:02:09] in the community through this period, a
[1:02:11] lot of generosity.
[1:02:13] And uh yeah, it was I feel very
[1:02:15] fortunate to have
[1:02:17] been here during this time.
[1:02:20] Couple of random reflections. Uh
[1:02:23] Earlier today I had Mudita for Ajahn
[1:02:26] Sudhiko, thinking that he dodged a
[1:02:28] bullet this year with not having to give
[1:02:31] a talk, but
[1:02:33] but the the abbot he's a sharpshooter
[1:02:37] and uh
[1:02:39] and so I had to change my Mudita to
[1:02:42] it was
[1:02:44] hearing a nice talk from our new Ajahn.
[1:02:47] Appreciation to him.
[1:02:49] And then the
[1:02:51] earlier
[1:02:52] Jinananda was talking about cows in the
[1:02:55] pasture and
[1:02:57] I just sounded so yeah, it just sounded
[1:02:59] so uh yeah, tranquil. I was kind of
[1:03:01] settling into that uh
[1:03:03] that image, but then I started thinking
[1:03:05] about how my cows work sometimes and
[1:03:09] and they start seeing the grass on the
[1:03:10] other side of the fence.
[1:03:12] It's like my that's yeah, green grass on
[1:03:15] the other side of the fence and they're
[1:03:16] trying to walk through the electric
[1:03:18] fence and
[1:03:19] so um um
[1:03:21] and uh
[1:03:22] I have to work with that one a little
[1:03:24] better.
[1:03:25] But I guess um
[1:03:27] mostly what I wanted to talk about was
[1:03:29] uh uh gratitude and uh
[1:03:32] indebtedness that that quality that uh
[1:03:36] helps me quite a bit through um you
[1:03:40] know, supports my practice, underpins
[1:03:43] my practice, kind of keeps me in
[1:03:45] wholesome [clears throat] places uh
[1:03:48] more often.
[1:03:49] And uh
[1:03:51] there's a you know, there's a couple
[1:03:52] ways of
[1:03:53] I guess of indebtedness uh you know,
[1:03:56] when I was a
[1:03:57] a layman and
[1:03:59] you know, I
[1:04:00] bought a house and took out a mortgage
[1:04:02] and
[1:04:04] you know, I was grateful that I was able
[1:04:05] to do that and have a house and
[1:04:08] not be renting and
[1:04:10] >> [clears throat]
[1:04:11] >> but then you know, I inherited this you
[1:04:13] know, 30-year mortgage
[1:04:16] and uh quite a bit of indebtedness
[1:04:18] there, you know, if you've ever had a
[1:04:19] mortgage and
[1:04:20] if you pay [clears throat] the thing off
[1:04:22] it
[1:04:23] for 30 years by the end of it you've you
[1:04:25] know, how many times over did you
[1:04:28] pay the principal, you know, and uh so I
[1:04:30] was very motivated to
[1:04:32] pay that thing off as quickly as I
[1:04:34] could, paying more
[1:04:37] just trying to get that burden off my
[1:04:38] back and
[1:04:40] and that's you know, that's that's one
[1:04:41] kind of uh indebtedness and uh and one
[1:04:44] and kind of gratitude but
[1:04:46] since coming to the monastery that I've
[1:04:48] discovered kind of a more a cleaner
[1:04:51] maybe uh yeah, kind of more pure, more
[1:04:53] wholesome kind of a indebtedness and uh
[1:04:56] gratitude just uh
[1:04:59] being able to live this life here, being
[1:05:02] allowed to come to the monastery uh
[1:05:04] especially as an old man
[1:05:06] and uh live this life and have the
[1:05:09] opportunity to um
[1:05:10] >> [clears throat]
[1:05:11] >> you know, be in a community with uh Kru
[1:05:13] Ba Chan, uh
[1:05:15] our very own Kru Ba Chan here, Luang Por
[1:05:17] Pasanno and
[1:05:19] the opportunity to you know, meet all
[1:05:21] kinds of uh different monks from around
[1:05:23] the world, great teachers, and
[1:05:26] all these great opportunities, and the
[1:05:28] um
[1:05:29] the amazing support from the lay people.
[1:05:33] And I think about the uh you know, like
[1:05:35] the 30 years now, over 30 years now
[1:05:40] and all the hands and all the effort and
[1:05:42] all the work that went into making
[1:05:45] what this place is today, which you
[1:05:48] know, there's and we see pictures of
[1:05:51] what it used to be like, how rugged and
[1:05:54] and austere it was, and uh and all of
[1:05:56] this had to be developed and
[1:05:59] and it took a lot of hands, lot of, you
[1:06:01] know, hundreds and hundreds of different
[1:06:03] people contributing, working at this,
[1:06:05] and planning, and
[1:06:07] and today we have the fruits of all that
[1:06:09] effort, and uh
[1:06:11] the you know, we glean the the benefit
[1:06:13] of all that good work, and uh
[1:06:16] and it just radiates out from there. And
[1:06:19] it And for me, it's just
[1:06:21] to be in this time and this place with
[1:06:23] these people, and
[1:06:25] just uh yeah, breeds a lot of gratitude
[1:06:27] and
[1:06:28] a different kind of indebtedness,
[1:06:30] though, uh
[1:06:31] different than the mortgage. It's uh
[1:06:33] it's an indebtedness that uh
[1:06:36] I I don't want to, you know, I I I want
[1:06:38] to pay I want to pay on it, but I
[1:06:41] I'm never going to be able to pay it
[1:06:42] off.
[1:06:43] And that's not a glum state.
[1:06:46] It's actually a very bright, kind of
[1:06:48] joy-inspiring [clears throat]
[1:06:49] state to just uh be able to uh serve and
[1:06:52] contribute to this,
[1:06:54] you know, the just all the uh
[1:06:57] you know, the the heritage
[1:06:59] of this tradition going back.
[1:07:02] And just, you know, being able to do
[1:07:04] something good, and uh yeah, I don't I
[1:07:07] don't ever want to pay I'm never going
[1:07:08] to be able to pay this off.
[1:07:10] This is uh I'm, you know, a mortgage I
[1:07:13] want to keep until I die, and uh
[1:07:15] yeah, it's just a different way of
[1:07:17] looking at it, and uh
[1:07:19] yeah, maybe I'll just call it a night
[1:07:21] there.