Transcript
[0:41] My heart's going quite quick.
[0:56] So, um
[1:02] thank you for asking me to do a
[1:04] reflection, Luang Poo.
[1:06] So,
[1:08] hopefully uh
[1:10] I can
[1:12] offer a few reflections
[1:15] on Dhamma.
[1:19] Although most of it will probably just
[1:20] be a kind of travel log of my
[1:23] time in Spain.
[1:26] So, I got back yesterday from Spain.
[1:29] Spent the vassa in Panyagiri,
[1:33] which is
[1:34] about an hour's drive from Barcelona.
[1:45] So, I had a very good vassa. It was
[1:49] um
[1:50] enjoyable.
[1:52] Uh
[1:53] obviously it had its ups and downs,
[1:55] lots of emotions.
[2:04] >> Like this very beneficial time.
[2:10] So it's uh
[2:13] it's a very beautiful um
[2:17] kind of country house
[2:19] quite old.
[2:21] Um
[2:23] it's on the side of a valley
[2:26] and um
[2:29] in the forest.
[2:31] So it's quite very secluded.
[2:34] So they call it a massia.
[2:37] It's a big old country house.
[2:40] It's got three floors
[2:43] and
[2:45] it was original like the original part
[2:47] of the building was built in
[2:50] 1600 and something and you could you
[2:52] know that because above the front door
[2:55] there's a stone and it's carved into it.
[2:57] You can see 160 something.
[3:02] And then there have been bits added. I
[3:05] think it was um renovated in the 1960s.
[3:11] Or there were bits added and it was kind
[3:13] of updated but it still looks very very
[3:15] old.
[3:16] Made of kind of big stones.
[3:19] Big you know big chunky stones.
[3:26] So it's it's kind of built for the hot
[3:28] weather.
[3:46] And uh
[3:48] they've got I think about
[3:50] 60 acres of land forest
[3:53] around it
[3:55] and they're going to get a bit more
[3:57] land. So I think it'll end up about 80
[4:00] acres.
[4:02] So it's quite a big piece of piece of
[4:03] land and it
[4:05] borders onto a national park behind.
[4:09] So the mountain carries on going up.
[4:12] And you can kind of walk out of the back
[4:15] of the monastery
[4:16] onto a onto a kind of dirt track
[4:20] wide enough for a car to drive up and
[4:22] then you can just walk
[4:24] and
[4:25] you just end up walking out of the
[4:27] monastery, but you don't know you
[4:29] wouldn't really know where the border
[4:31] was, you know, it's not
[4:32] there's no marking, no demarcation of
[4:35] the border.
[4:36] So you just walk into the national park
[4:39] and it just carries on going up and up
[4:42] and the views get better and better.
[4:53] So I did quite a lot of walking.
[5:12] I went when I got there I was
[5:16] well over the past few years I've been
[5:18] maybe kind of
[5:25] I've been doing a lot of walking
[5:26] meditation and maybe doing
[5:29] taking it too seriously, doing too much
[5:32] maybe.
[5:34] And so it was nice to actually not do
[5:37] walking backwards and forwards, but just
[5:39] to walk
[5:41] and just enjoy the scenery,
[5:43] let my mind expand with the views.
[5:47] That was very helpful.
[5:55] So in Buddhism or in I think it's in one
[5:58] of the
[6:00] I think it's
[6:02] in the main commentary
[6:04] then there are kind of three types of
[6:06] minds.
[6:08] There's the the greed type,
[6:10] the anger type, and the delusion type.
[6:16] And obviously we're not all exclusively
[6:18] one and we all have all three, but
[6:21] different minds are inclined towards
[6:23] different things.
[6:25] And uh
[6:27] I'm pretty sure my mind is of the
[6:29] delusion type.
[6:32] And so one of the things it recommends
[6:34] in the commentary
[6:36] um
[6:38] is a delusion type. It's good to spend
[6:40] time in in beautiful places.
[6:44] And uh
[6:46] I like that idea. So I
[6:51] So I justified being there. Oh, I'm a
[6:53] delusion type. So I I I can definitely
[6:58] I deserve to be here.
[7:07] But yeah, just the the the the effect on
[7:10] my mind of being in a
[7:14] in a high place with a lot of sky,
[7:18] but then the mountains
[7:20] just really had a very very calming
[7:22] effect.
[7:54] And in in the forest there are
[7:57] things called dolmens,
[7:59] which are
[8:01] very very ancient um
[8:05] rock
[8:06] structures
[8:08] like very small Stonehenges.
[8:12] I think they about 5,000 years old.
[8:16] And there's one in walking distance of
[8:19] of Pan Giri.
[8:20] You can get there in about
[8:23] 45 minutes just walking up.
[8:26] And um
[8:28] there are are a number spread throughout
[8:32] um the national park. I only saw the
[8:34] nearest one.
[8:36] And unfortunately the main plinth on top
[8:39] has actually come down
[8:42] um
[8:44] by
[8:50] I haven't really done much reading on
[8:52] them,
[8:53] but just the idea of people living there
[8:57] in a forest and then I guess for
[8:59] religious purposes or spiritual
[9:02] purposes
[9:04] um
[9:05] you know they've got these huge rocks
[9:07] and
[9:08] somehow got them on top of other rocks
[9:11] into a particular kind of
[9:13] table form.
[9:19] It's so easy for us to
[9:26] to think that we're so important as a as
[9:28] a um in this in this time.
[9:33] You know it's easy for us to
[9:38] forget that there have been not just a
[9:40] few generations before, but
[9:42] hundreds and hundreds of generations
[9:45] before us.
[9:47] And when you contemplate on that you
[9:49] realize
[9:50] helps you to realize how insignificant
[9:53] we are really.
[9:57] And it helps us to see our problems
[9:59] maybe not quite as so important.
[10:21] >> So the um
[10:23] the Spanish seem to really like having
[10:25] their dogs. They they quite a lot of
[10:27] them have dogs. I mean British people do
[10:29] as well, but Spanish people seem to like
[10:32] big dangerous dogs.
[10:42] And they they don't really seem to have
[10:44] well, sometimes they have them on leads,
[10:46] but
[10:48] not always.
[10:50] So I had one incident where I'd just
[10:52] come out of our out of the front gate of
[10:55] the monastery.
[10:57] I thought I'd go for a nice walk. Lovely
[10:59] sunny day, blue skies. This is going to
[11:01] be great. So I walked
[11:03] I'd walked about 10 paces
[11:06] and then all of a sudden this huge great
[11:08] Dane
[11:09] rounds the corner and
[11:12] runs at me.
[11:14] And I was like
[11:16] swearing in my head
[11:19] and it's barking and it's kind of
[11:21] lunging at me.
[11:24] And um
[11:27] and then another one came around behind
[11:30] it slightly bigger.
[11:32] Another great Dane
[11:33] and joined in and and they're kind of
[11:36] lunging at me and barking.
[11:39] And uh
[11:42] unfortunately I didn't do
[11:45] the whole reflection on fear at all. I
[11:47] just kind of turned into this half
[11:49] human, half dog and I found myself kind
[11:52] of
[11:53] barking in a kind of human voice back at
[11:56] them and trying to like back away.
[12:03] It was completely just
[12:06] instinctual.
[12:07] I'll become a kind of half dog.
[12:25] >> And then the owners came round behind.
[12:32] And they didn't really sort of offer any
[12:34] kind of sympathy at all. They just kind
[12:36] of
[12:37] They said they're only they're only um
[12:40] puppies.
[12:46] They were right up to my chest. These
[12:49] these were puppy like
[12:52] puppies.
[13:02] So I said
[13:03] grande
[13:05] that means big in in Spanish. And he
[13:08] said grandes
[13:11] because there were two of them.
[13:21] They were on our property.
[13:23] And he was just like
[13:26] who's this weirdo in a skirt?
[13:49] So um
[13:52] it's up a steep hill to get to the
[13:54] property.
[13:56] And um
[13:59] it's it's a dirt track basically, but
[14:01] it's been kind of gravelled over.
[14:05] Um I think it was done about a year ago.
[14:11] But
[14:13] because they have a lot of rain during
[14:15] the winter, then it washes away. And so
[14:18] you've got these big kind of
[14:20] um troughs or gullies that
[14:24] they've got they've got kind of
[14:27] gutters, you know, just
[14:30] ditches either side
[14:32] that's meant to help with the drainage,
[14:34] but then the water just goes the
[14:36] quickest way, so you'll get these kind
[14:38] of
[14:39] um
[14:42] troughs across the actual
[14:45] track.
[14:47] And so we had to sometimes go and fill
[14:50] in
[14:53] these divots or kind of um
[14:57] areas where it'd been washed away.
[15:03] And sometimes the people who deliver
[15:07] refuse to drive up the hill because it's
[15:11] too steep. You know, they just
[15:15] turn round.
[15:16] So it's not like here where you always
[15:18] get your Amazon delivery, but sometimes
[15:22] they don't come. They you have to go and
[15:24] collect it from
[15:26] from the depot.
[15:43] So
[15:44] is doing a great job. He's really
[15:47] um
[15:50] helping to establish it and um
[15:54] update it and renovate things.
[15:57] He's he he really loves building. So
[16:02] he's got a few projects going. So one
[16:05] project is
[16:06] um
[16:07] renovating a caravan. At the moment
[16:10] they've got two caravans out the back.
[16:13] And so that allows more people to stay.
[16:18] and he's
[16:19] making them more making one of them more
[16:22] livable.
[16:39] I really enjoyed living with him.
[16:41] He's um
[16:43] very straightforward.
[16:45] You know, he doesn't
[16:47] he just says what he wants, what he
[16:49] needs, and um it makes it very easy to
[16:52] live with somebody like that. It's
[16:55] there's no kind of hidden agenda.
[17:04] Eleonora is there at the moment.
[17:11] And she she's really settling in. She's
[17:14] enjoying it.
[17:35] So I I was trying to learn some Spanish
[17:41] and um
[17:47] I kind of went through phases.
[17:49] You know, I'd go a few days learning it.
[17:52] I'd use apps. I've got a a tablet, so I
[17:55] had some apps on it and generally used
[17:57] those
[17:58] and then also Google Translate
[18:03] and um watched a few YouTube
[18:06] learning videos
[18:09] and uh
[18:15] Yeah, it was interesting to see how the
[18:16] mind
[18:21] is so influenced by its moods.
[18:26] You know, one of the hardest things I
[18:28] think for me is
[18:31] if I'm feeling low in confidence,
[18:34] then to go and
[18:36] put myself in a position of talking to
[18:39] somebody in Spanish,
[18:42] somebody who is Spanish, and then
[18:45] just trying to say anything becomes a
[18:47] challenge because of the fear of making
[18:49] a mistake.
[18:53] If I'm feeling confident, then
[18:56] it's easy to do.
[19:02] But then if if if
[19:04] if one is feeling
[19:06] insecure,
[19:08] um
[19:11] self-conscious,
[19:14] then all of a sudden going and
[19:17] putting yourself in the position where
[19:19] the ego might look like a bit of a
[19:22] a fool
[19:23] becomes a real challenge.
[20:18] But it is a lovely language,
[20:21] and there's quite a lot of words which
[20:24] you can
[20:26] kind of guess what they mean from
[20:29] the fact that they're from the same
[20:30] Latin root as as an English word or a
[20:33] French word.
[20:36] So
[21:02] so we went so I was there with Tenzin
[21:05] Dhargye. He was there with me for the
[21:08] for the whole time
[21:10] and
[21:12] he enjoyed it as well.
[21:16] And we went on Bindebart
[21:20] pretty much every one pra and quiet day.
[21:24] So we went to Agrafreda, which is a the
[21:28] town at the bottom of the valley.
[21:30] So it takes about 25 minutes to walk
[21:33] there.
[21:34] So you walk down the hill
[21:36] and walk into the town
[21:40] and
[21:43] we would stand in a few different
[21:44] places,
[21:46] sometimes outside the bakery,
[21:49] sometimes in the main plaza area.
[21:54] And normally we got something,
[21:56] a loaf of bread or some milk
[22:00] or vegetables.
[22:05] So the the the lottery man, he always
[22:07] gave us some lentils.
[22:10] So if we went there on a weekday,
[22:14] then the lottery man would be there.
[22:17] He would be selling lottery tickets.
[22:20] Really nice guy.
[22:24] Very very friendly.
[22:40] And then quite often if
[22:42] any of the supporters of Panyagiri found
[22:45] out that we were on Bindabat then they
[22:46] would
[22:47] they would come and and give us some
[22:49] food.
[23:11] So
[23:12] I I would
[23:14] do quite a lot of contemplation on death
[23:17] when I was on my walks,
[23:20] generally when I was walking in the
[23:21] countryside.
[23:26] Just contemplating my own mortality and
[23:29] the fact that I could die
[23:31] at any time.
[23:37] So I'd just be walking along and I just
[23:39] think
[23:40] this could be my last step.
[23:56] And it's a very effective contemplation.
[23:58] It's really
[23:59] for me it just brings me to the here and
[24:02] now straight away.
[24:10] It is literally like any any of us could
[24:12] die right now. We could just keel over
[24:16] and uh
[24:18] that's it.
[24:24] And it's not something most humans
[24:27] think about
[24:28] but the Buddha said
[24:31] that we should think we should think
[24:32] about that.
[24:34] It's not like you go around thinking it
[24:35] over and over again, but just to drop
[24:37] that into the mind when you're feeling
[24:39] quite peaceful
[24:41] and see what what the outcome is.
[25:08] I find that it really makes me want to
[25:09] practice more.
[25:32] But it's so easy to take for granted
[25:38] the life that we have
[25:40] and just assume that we're going to live
[25:42] to a ripe old age and then
[25:46] die
[25:47] when we're in our 80s. But that just
[25:52] isn't a guarantee at all.
[26:59] >> So that there's a
[27:02] steady
[27:04] um flow, steady turnover of guests at
[27:07] Panagiri.
[27:09] So they tended to be
[27:12] between
[27:14] four and eight guests
[27:17] I guess, sometimes more.
[27:20] So there are three bedrooms
[27:23] for monks
[27:24] and then three more bedrooms which are
[27:26] used for
[27:28] lay men.
[27:31] Um
[27:33] so they can have a maximum of
[27:35] about eight
[27:37] lay men.
[27:39] And then there's
[27:42] extra room downstairs which is generally
[27:44] used as an office but that can also
[27:46] accommodate
[27:48] uh lay people.
[27:51] And so sometimes maybe an elderly man or
[27:55] woman would stay downstairs.
[27:58] And then next to the main house there's
[28:00] another building
[28:03] which is
[28:04] used
[28:06] uh for the lay women so that it's a
[28:08] different building to the monks.
[28:11] That needs
[28:13] renovation and that's it's livable but
[28:17] there isn't um
[28:20] running water so they have to have um
[28:24] like tubs of water
[28:27] which need to be replenished.
[28:31] Um and then the women shower in the main
[28:36] But it's a priority to get that
[28:38] renovated and
[28:40] um
[28:42] made up to date and uh
[28:45] with with running water. It's got
[28:47] electricity, but also the the windows
[28:50] need need improving and
[28:56] so yeah, there was a steady flow
[28:58] turnover of guests
[29:00] and they were from all around the world,
[29:01] a bit like here.
[29:03] Um
[29:11] generally from Spanish speaking
[29:13] countries, so there were quite quite
[29:15] often people from from South America,
[29:19] from quite quite often from Argentina.
[29:22] Um
[29:27] obviously some from Spain.
[29:36] But it's kind of cuz it it there's a
[29:38] certain energy about the place because
[29:40] it's in its early days, so
[29:43] there's quite a kind of feeling of
[29:45] um
[29:49] anticipation and energy and
[29:53] um
[29:54] you know, a a lot lot of the guests seem
[29:56] to have not not necessarily been to any
[29:59] of our other monasteries
[30:01] and they've just seen it on the on the
[30:02] internet.
[30:06] And um
[30:08] they've got regular regular
[30:11] visitors now who just visit for the day
[30:14] or or just for a night or so. So there's
[30:17] a couple of women I'm thinking of who
[30:19] live in Barcelona and then they love to
[30:22] come on one pra and so they'll maybe
[30:24] turn up
[30:26] on one pra or the day before
[30:28] and then stay overnight for one or two
[30:30] nights.
[30:32] And
[30:34] you know, they're very very
[30:36] grateful that the monastery has has
[30:40] has come into being and
[30:44] you know it's really become a kind of
[30:49] the main part of their life. That's what
[30:51] they kind of
[30:52] cherish and and and like to come
[30:56] come there so
[31:02] I suspect it's just going to go from
[31:03] strength to strength and will become
[31:06] more and more
[31:08] um
[31:08] widely known.
[31:51] So we hear all about how the internet is
[31:56] corrupting young people and
[31:58] being
[32:00] you know having negative effects on the
[32:02] world but
[32:04] this is a
[32:06] an example of how it's
[32:10] helping Buddhism to spread in a really
[32:13] good way.
[32:43] >> So Ajahn Ñāṇadassano would do a Dhamma
[32:45] talk every week on one pra.
[32:49] And I found his reflections very
[32:53] helpful.
[32:59] So one thing he
[33:01] um
[33:04] was particularly pertinent to me was
[33:07] he was talking about
[33:11] examining the taṇhā or the craving in
[33:15] your heart
[33:17] and
[33:20] really
[33:23] investigating it,
[33:26] contemplating it.
[33:33] So my mind
[33:37] can has a habit of going into aversion
[33:39] quite easily.
[33:42] So
[33:43] just employing his technique of
[33:47] examining the aversion and looking for
[33:50] it,
[33:51] you know, with my mind's eye,
[33:54] what shape does it have? Does it have a
[33:56] shape?
[33:58] Does it have a border?
[34:02] Does it have any substance to it?
[34:10] Does it have a form?
[34:28] And realizing that how much of this
[34:30] aversion is
[34:32] fueled by me tensing up all the muscles
[34:35] in the chest
[34:37] and in the abdomen.
[34:39] Because that's what happens when I when
[34:41] I have aversion, then all my stomach
[34:44] tenses and
[34:47] contracts.
[35:12] So I find asking questions
[35:17] very helpful.
[35:21] It helps to bring the mindfulness to the
[35:22] area that I want to
[35:26] to look at.
[35:36] And then it's tempting to try to force
[35:38] myself to relax the muscles, but that
[35:40] doesn't work if I
[35:42] try to just with willpower
[35:45] relax the muscles, but more like just
[35:48] bring mindfulness to the area
[35:51] and then allow the mindfulness to do the
[35:53] work.
[35:54] Just allow nature to take the course
[35:57] take its course
[35:59] because ultimately tense muscles don't
[36:02] feel good.
[36:50] >> So
[36:55] in the in the mornings we would we would
[36:57] work
[36:58] and um
[37:02] generally it was the same work every
[37:04] every morning
[37:06] and it involved
[37:07] sawing wood
[37:09] into
[37:11] into pieces about a foot long
[37:14] because they had a log burning
[37:16] stove
[37:17] big new
[37:20] which will heat the hot water and then
[37:22] that hot water will be used to heat all
[37:24] the radiators.
[37:26] So Ajahn Ñāṇadassano
[37:28] wanted
[37:29] a very big supply of firewood for this
[37:32] winter because I think they ran out last
[37:34] year or at least they didn't have enough
[37:36] to feel comfortable. So
[37:38] he he he wanted to have a good supply.
[37:42] So um
[37:44] the first day I was like yeah this is
[37:46] fun. I know it's yeah
[37:49] sawing away this is better than
[37:50] Amaravati. I like this yeah
[37:53] you know this is great.
[37:55] Second day
[37:57] yeah still fun yeah yeah yeah this is
[38:00] good yeah.
[38:02] After about day five
[38:05] this is really boring.
[38:13] Day seven
[38:16] I'm exhausted. My arm is going to fall
[38:18] off. It's like I can't even grip the saw
[38:20] anymore.
[38:47] And And whenever Ajahn Dasno wants to
[38:49] cut something, he just grabs his
[38:50] chainsaw,
[38:53] gets the chainsaw going and just does it
[38:55] in like
[38:56] five minutes.
[38:58] And then you say, oh, could I use the
[39:00] chainsaw?
[39:02] No, it's not
[39:06] Just take your bow saw and strengthen
[39:09] your arm up.
[39:23] He never looks quite as happy as when
[39:25] he's carrying and when he's using his
[39:27] chainsaw.
[39:30] There's something about his whole
[39:34] body language when he gets a chainsaw in
[39:36] his and he's like
[39:41] You can see there's a there's a skill to
[39:42] it, you know. It's not just like chop it
[39:44] like a piece of bread. It's like
[39:46] you kind of have to
[39:48] angle it and uh
[39:50] there's a definite skill to it.
[40:20] And then I was laughing with Ajahn Janna
[40:22] Santi just before we came in. He said to
[40:24] me
[40:26] He said to me, are you still washing
[40:27] your bowls in the bath?
[40:30] I said
[40:31] said yeah.
[40:33] So it's the bath where you have a
[40:34] shower.
[40:37] And then you wash your bowls
[40:39] after the meal in the bath.
[40:42] So you go
[40:45] So you're kneeling
[40:47] you're kneeling on the
[40:49] on the foot mat, on the shower mat
[40:51] outside the bath.
[41:12] I'm not sure whether health and safety
[41:14] in the UK would allow you to wash your
[41:17] wash your cutlery in the bath.
[41:51] Juan does an amazing job. He
[41:58] I think he visited about
[42:00] three times during the
[42:06] So he's
[42:11] you know, I don't think if it wasn't for
[42:12] him it would be
[42:15] be functioning. He just seems to do so
[42:17] much.
[42:19] Juan's the librarian here.
[42:53] And then they have um
[42:57] have wild boar.
[43:00] So they they live in the in the forest
[43:03] most of the day, so you don't see them.
[43:06] But then in the at the nighttime they
[43:08] come down and they seem to like to sleep
[43:11] um on one of the terraces a little bit
[43:13] lower down, so it's quite close to the
[43:16] house.
[43:18] And and they like to kind of forage on
[43:20] the lawn just outside the house. They
[43:23] don't come every night, but they come
[43:25] quite a lot of nights.
[43:27] And so if you stay up late,
[43:30] then you can see them and they're
[43:33] just
[43:35] digging just below the surface of the
[43:38] of the um
[43:39] lawn.
[43:41] And some of them are pretty big.
[43:45] And apparently they've become a bit of a
[43:46] pest because
[43:48] it sound Agni and Adasna were saying
[43:50] that
[43:51] they've crossbred with pigs
[43:55] like domestic pigs. And so their litters
[43:58] have gone from four to 12.
[44:02] And so now these wild boar are giving
[44:04] birth to 12 little piglets. And so
[44:08] they're becoming a bit of a a pest and
[44:11] they've started to kind of come into
[44:13] Barcelona on into the edge of Barcelona
[44:15] because Barcelona
[44:17] borders onto another national park, not
[44:19] the same one, but a different national
[44:21] park.
[44:32] So one guest told me last week she it
[44:35] was one prior last week and so
[44:39] she just went
[44:40] out of the gate and she thought I'll do
[44:42] some standing meditation.
[44:45] And she went down onto the lawn and and
[44:47] just started to get prepared for her
[44:49] standing meditation.
[44:51] And then there was this great big loud
[44:53] snort right next her.
[44:56] And she woke and saw this massive wild
[44:59] boar standing
[45:01] looking at her.
[45:03] And so she said she screamed at the top
[45:05] of her voice and
[45:07] ran as fast as she could back into the
[45:09] compound, back into the
[45:14] into the house.
[45:20] So I the closest I got cuz I slept I
[45:23] spent a week
[45:25] about a week altogether
[45:27] sleeping under a gazebo
[45:30] um
[45:31] about
[45:33] five minutes walk away from the house.
[45:36] And so there was a bed
[45:38] and a gazebo.
[45:40] And so in in the hot nights it was it
[45:42] was nice to be outside.
[45:46] And so
[45:48] the first night I was a bit worried
[45:49] about the wild boar cuz they it was in
[45:51] their area.
[45:54] And so we have a chant in we have a
[45:56] chant in Pali we do to try to protect
[45:59] ourselves from wild animals.
[46:01] So I did that.
[46:04] Um
[46:09] but then they never came close and I
[46:11] thought it'd be nice if they came close.
[46:14] So then I stopped doing the chant.
[46:26] And so I woke up in the middle of so I I
[46:28] was it was like probably about 3:00 in
[46:30] the morning or something.
[46:32] And then I heard this grunt. I'm quite a
[46:34] light sleeper so I get woken up by
[46:36] noises quite easily and I heard this
[46:38] grunt and I knew it wasn't on my level.
[46:40] So there were these like terraces
[46:42] and the terrace
[46:45] the one below was about
[46:48] say three feet lower so quite a big
[46:50] steep.
[46:52] You know and it's a steep slope and
[46:54] there's all like
[46:55] bushes and stuff on the slope.
[46:58] And so I had it sounded quite close, but
[47:00] it was down on the lower one, so I
[47:02] thought,
[47:03] that's fine.
[47:05] She won't come up here, you know, it's
[47:07] too steep.
[47:10] And then gradually I heard these noises
[47:12] getting closer and closer and
[47:14] you know, I forget that they're you
[47:16] know, they're much more
[47:18] strong than than me and so it's just
[47:22] gradually coming up this really steep
[47:24] slope,
[47:25] you know, like eating and
[47:29] and then it came right up behind
[47:33] and walked right behind the gazebo.
[47:38] I just kept quiet.
[47:39] I
[47:42] It wouldn't attack a human. They they
[47:44] are they are a lot more
[47:45] scared of humans than we are of them.
[47:48] They'd only attack you if you got in
[47:49] between them and their
[47:51] their baby.
[47:54] But I'm sure it you know, it would have
[47:55] smelled me.
[47:58] You know, they knew it would have known
[48:00] I was there.
[48:01] So I just pretended I was asleep.
[49:03] >> So another reflection I was doing quite
[49:05] a lot.
[49:07] Um I had re-read Lampaul Ambrose book um
[49:11] For the Love of the World.
[49:14] And I remember reading it
[49:17] quite a long time ago and I really
[49:18] enjoyed it.
[49:20] And so I re-read that
[49:22] and
[49:25] I found it very
[49:28] helpful again.
[49:31] So I was just using the contemplation of
[49:33] the elements.
[49:37] Again quite often when I was just out
[49:39] walking just contemplating
[49:43] how this body is just
[49:45] um
[49:47] earth
[49:48] water
[49:50] fire and wind.
[50:04] For my mind
[50:06] it inclines quite often towards the
[50:08] solid element. I quite liked
[50:10] contemplating that.
[50:15] You know we
[50:19] we just assume that we are this body.
[50:22] You know we look in the mirror and we
[50:24] just
[50:26] immediately assume that is me.
[50:28] And I've always been like that.
[50:34] I'm solid.
[50:38] I'm individual.
[50:40] I'm separate from
[50:42] the surroundings.
[50:48] I'm separate from other people.
[50:58] But then
[51:00] you realise that
[51:03] all of this body is just is made of
[51:06] food.
[51:15] It's all just consumed
[51:18] and then it turns into me.
[51:28] And science
[51:30] has shown that every cell in our body is
[51:33] replaced every seven years.
[51:36] So seven years ago
[51:39] this was a completely different body.
[52:14] So I'm 48.
[52:17] So if my body has replaced itself seven
[52:19] times that means I've had
[52:22] six different bodies.
[52:26] Six like all my cells have been replaced
[52:28] six times.
[52:34] So actually it's just a flow. It's just
[52:36] a
[52:38] process.
[52:40] But because it happens so slowly we
[52:42] don't
[52:43] realize that. We
[52:46] we assume that it's just the same thing
[52:48] all the time.
[53:03] And then I was walking and I was
[53:04] thinking about how we assume that the
[53:06] rocks are completely solid
[53:09] and that they're always
[53:11] going to be there.
[53:14] You know, we assume that they're
[53:16] unmoving and unchanging.
[53:26] But then, you know, I was thinking if if
[53:28] a nuclear bomb landed here right now,
[53:32] that rock wouldn't exist anymore. That
[53:34] would just
[53:36] that would just disappear.
[53:51] And then we were walking the other day
[53:53] up on
[53:55] um
[53:59] up on a mountain and there was this rock
[54:02] which was all
[54:04] made up of smaller round
[54:08] rocks all joined together a bit like an
[54:11] enormous pudding stone.
[54:13] And so it was an old
[54:16] river.
[54:18] You know, it was an old riverbed, but
[54:21] over
[54:23] the millennia,
[54:25] it's
[54:26] become it's it's everything else has
[54:28] eroded and left
[54:30] a mountain.
[55:19] >> Okay.
[55:25] I think I've finished now.
[55:38] >> Sadhu
[55:41] sadhu
[55:43] sadhu
[55:46] anudana.