Transcript
[0:00] Stop trying to be present. Okay, that
[0:04] and I know that's that's going to sound
[0:05] crazy coming from me because I've spent
[0:07] the last 15 20 of years of my life
[0:11] teaching
[0:12] people how to be present essentially
[0:14] teaching them what presence is. Uh
[0:17] inviting people back into the present
[0:18] moment. But the the truth of the matter
[0:20] is, and again this is going to sound so
[0:24] crazy, you you can't do it. You can't be
[0:27] present. You can't be in the now. And
[0:29] the more you try, the more you strive,
[0:32] the more you try and force yourself into
[0:34] presence or force yourself into the now
[0:36] or force yourself to be in the present
[0:38] moment, the more you're going to suffer
[0:41] and the more you're actually going to
[0:42] feel further and further away from the
[0:45] present moment. That's that's what the
[0:47] mind does, isn't it? It makes everything
[0:49] into a goal. Bless it. Bless the mind.
[0:52] It's like a goal seeking mechanism. It
[0:55] it's like it needs a future.
[0:58] So the mind the mind my mind your mind
[1:01] the mind it's all the same mind
[1:03] ultimately I mean different content but
[1:05] the same mechanism the same dualistic
[1:09] mind it's like it needs a future it
[1:12] operates in time it's it's a dualistic
[1:14] mechanism so it's it will even take
[1:19] enlightenment and turn it into a thing
[1:22] and turn it into something that I can
[1:26] get or achieve or some state that I'll
[1:29] enter one day. That's the
[1:31] illusion. It will take peace. It will
[1:34] take rest. It will take relaxation. It
[1:37] will take anything. It will even take
[1:40] presence. So ironic really, you know, in
[1:43] its innocence as well. And and make it
[1:46] into a future goal, an attainment, a
[1:51] place to strive for some other place,
[1:54] some other moment. And isn't that the
[1:56] ultimate
[1:57] irony? It takes the concept of the
[2:00] present
[2:01] moment. I'm even talking about it right
[2:04] now. Like your mind gets some kind of
[2:06] idea, concept, image of what the present
[2:08] moment
[2:09] is. And that's separate
[2:12] from it's in the future from right here,
[2:16] right now. The the thing is right here,
[2:20] right now is is utterly utterly utterly
[2:23] unknowable and it's and it's mysterious
[2:25] and it's prior to words. It's like the
[2:27] moment we even talk about the present
[2:31] moment, the present, presence itself,
[2:34] consciousness, awareness, the
[2:37] now. Inevitably, the mind is going to
[2:40] make that into a thing. How do how do I
[2:43] get there? How do I obtain that? How do
[2:46] I achieve that? It's just what the mind
[2:49] does. I mean, even even talking about it
[2:52] right
[2:54] now is you could say it's part of the
[2:57] problem. That's one of the biggest uh
[3:00] criticisms or pieces of feedback that
[3:02] I've heard over the years, you know,
[3:05] around my work um is that well, aren't
[3:09] you just um setting up these false goals
[3:12] for people? Aren't you just giving them
[3:14] like a carrot on a stick to chase?
[3:17] They're never going to get there. The
[3:19] present moment, presence, enlightenment,
[3:21] the now. You know, I've I've used all of
[3:24] these words over the years, all these
[3:26] concepts, these
[3:27] ideas. Um, in Zen Buddhism, they talk
[3:31] about the finger pointing to the moon. I
[3:34] I love this image. And they say
[3:37] that the problem is that we we can so
[3:40] easily end up
[3:42] focusing on the
[3:44] finger. You just imagine someone
[3:46] someone's over there pointing to the
[3:48] moon and you're like focusing on their
[3:50] finger. You you you think the finger is
[3:51] the most important thing, the thing
[3:53] that's pointing. And of course that that
[3:55] represents language, words, concepts,
[3:59] even the word the moon or the word
[4:03] presence or the or the word now or the
[4:06] word awareness, what whatever word it
[4:08] is, it's it's a finger.
[4:11] We're not meant to obsess over the words
[4:14] and go deeper into the words and and you
[4:16] know
[4:17] fight over the words. I've met so many
[4:20] people over the years who who fighting
[4:22] each
[4:23] other over spiritual concepts,
[4:26] definitions, words. It's like fighting
[4:28] over fingers or fingers fighting each
[4:30] other, something like
[4:31] that. So the point isn't to, as they say
[4:35] in Zen, the point isn't to suck the
[4:36] finger. The point is to look, look over
[4:40] there, look, observe, pay attention,
[4:44] look at that primal
[4:49] mystery, that majestic,
[4:51] unknowable phenomenon that we that we
[4:55] call the moon that we point at and say
[4:59] moon just like I'm doing, you know, and
[5:01] it's it's, you know, there's nothing
[5:03] nothing wrong with that. Like we have
[5:04] to, you know, I'm learn language. I'm
[5:06] teaching we we are teaching our well
[5:10] she's two now our 2-year-old daughter
[5:11] language. What's that? Well, we call it
[5:14] the moon. But of course, what it is is
[5:18] not the finger. It's not the word. It's
[5:20] not the concept. It's not the idea. You
[5:22] could read a hundred books about the
[5:25] moon, but ultimately you have to put all
[5:28] that knowledge to one side and and look
[5:30] in the same way you can read a hundred a
[5:32] thousand books as I've probably done in
[5:34] my
[5:35] life
[5:36] about presence, about awareness, about
[5:39] consciousness, about enlightenment,
[5:40] about being in the now, about being in
[5:42] the present moment. But
[5:44] ultimately the answer is not there in
[5:47] the words. The present moment is not
[5:49] there in all the books about the present
[5:51] moment. Consciousness is not there in
[5:54] all the fingers in all the books about
[5:57] consciousness. They're all beautiful.
[5:59] You know, I'm I'm a writer myself. I
[6:00] love language. I love words. But what I
[6:03] know at the very core of my being is
[6:06] that the the language, the words are not
[6:08] the thing. They're just fingers pointing
[6:11] to the
[6:13] moon. And in this case, what is the
[6:16] moon? It's it's the the majestic
[6:18] unknowable mysterious fact of your
[6:23] being. And again, call it being, call it
[6:26] presence, call it consciousness, call it
[6:28] awareness, call it who you really are.
[6:30] We we have to at some point realize that
[6:33] it really doesn't matter which words we
[6:36] use. Let's not fight over fingers. Let's
[6:38] not obsess over the fingers or spend our
[6:40] time sucking the fingers.
[6:43] So that's why I say
[6:45] ultimately presence is
[6:48] not a place you can get
[6:52] to. The present moment is not a place
[6:54] you can get to. I'll never forget years
[6:57] ago on a retreat that I was leading um
[6:59] in the break one of the participants
[7:00] came up to me and he was really really
[7:02] really struggling. Bless him. He's like
[7:04] his it felt his whole body was so tight.
[7:07] It was so tight. And he told me he'd
[7:09] been studying non-duality for many many
[7:11] years. Advite all the spiritual
[7:13] teachings. He'd read all the spiritual
[7:15] books and followed all the spiritual
[7:16] teachers and the gurus. And he gone to
[7:18] India and he was ultimately searching
[7:20] for this thing called
[7:22] presence
[7:24] awareness. Um and bless him, you know,
[7:27] bless his heart. He was and this is what
[7:30] I I resonate with him because this is
[7:33] what I used to do. He was trying so hard
[7:36] to be present. Bless him. He was trying
[7:38] so hard to be present. Like, like I
[7:40] said, his whole trying to be present.
[7:43] I'm trying to be present because that's
[7:46] what he thought he had to do. That's
[7:47] what he thought the teaching was saying
[7:48] is be
[7:50] present. His mind was making it into a
[7:52] goal. And so, because I I recognized his
[7:56] situation and his suffering and the
[7:58] futility of it, he was never going to
[8:00] get there through trying. So I just I
[8:03] just kind of invited
[8:05] him to not to not be present. Sometimes
[8:09] you have to go that other direction.
[8:12] It's like you have to meet people where
[8:14] they are, you know. So So I just invited
[8:16] him to give up trying to be present,
[8:19] trying to be present and give himself
[8:20] full permission to to not be present. I
[8:22] said, "Try try not being present."
[8:25] and he kind of I'll never forget he kind
[8:28] of took it in for a few moments and then
[8:30] I just saw his his whole system just
[8:33] kind of relaxed. There was just this
[8:35] wave of like
[8:38] relief because being present was not
[8:40] something he could do. But but not being
[8:44] present, not being in the now was
[8:46] something that he was doing really well.
[8:48] I mean in his own mind, right? And then
[8:50] of course so here's the paradox. Here's
[8:52] the wonderful paradox. Maybe the
[8:54] ultimate paradox is in that seeming lack
[8:58] of presence in giving himself full
[9:01] permission to not be in the now. He was
[9:05] fully in the now. Why? Because now is
[9:08] all there is. Because in the now I am
[9:11] fully not in the now. In presence I am
[9:15] so not presence. But but even that
[9:19] seeming experience of not being present.
[9:21] Even if that that seeming experience of
[9:24] not being in the now is happening in the
[9:27] only place it could possibly be
[9:28] happening which is
[9:30] now. That experience of not being
[9:32] present. Oh my god, I'm so not present.
[9:35] I am so far from presence. I am so far
[9:38] from the now. That
[9:41] very experience which is a valid
[9:43] experience by the way that that that
[9:45] very experience is happening in absolute
[9:49] presence.
[9:51] It's happening now because now is all
[9:53] there is. Like it can't not be
[9:58] now. Even if it was not now, even if
[10:01] your experience right now is that you're
[10:03] not in the present moment or it's you're
[10:05] not in the
[10:06] now, you have to admit that your
[10:09] experience, that experience, that very
[10:12] experience, that precise experience is
[10:14] happening now. is happening in presence
[10:19] which is
[10:20] really all there is because time is
[10:23] ultimately an illusion in in the sense
[10:25] that
[10:26] time clock time exists in the mind. Past
[10:30] future thoughts about the past thoughts
[10:32] about the future memories fantasies
[10:34] about what's going to happen
[10:36] next. All of those thoughts all of those
[10:41] images are arising
[10:44] in presence.
[10:47] So presence is not in time in that
[10:49] sense. Time arises in presence, but
[10:51] presence is not in time. Anyway, that's
[10:52] getting really technical, but the the
[10:54] point was the the relief for this for
[10:57] this lovely guy was was was found
[11:00] through um love, through deep allowing,
[11:04] through through deep permission.
[11:07] It's not like I can it's not like I gave
[11:09] him permission, but I kind of I think I
[11:11] reminded him he could give himself full
[11:14] permission to be exactly as he was. Like
[11:17] just stop stop fighting your experience.
[11:19] It's only going to lead to
[11:21] suffering. So I'll never forget that
[11:23] that sense of relief he felt when he
[11:26] allowed himself to fully allowed himself
[11:28] to not be present. And of course,
[11:30] paradoxically, that was absolute
[11:32] presence. And his body knew it. His body
[11:36] knew it. that that deep relaxation, that
[11:38] relief, that was like, oh, like a
[11:42] remembering, like a knowing. Oh, it's
[11:45] here. It's here. It's
[11:48] here. It's always
[11:50] here. It's always here. It's It's the
[11:53] ocean, ever present.
[11:56] No matter what the waves are doing,
[11:58] thoughts, sensations, feelings in your
[12:00] experience, states, altered states,
[12:03] spiritual states, all come and go.
[12:06] There's those are all the waves. But the
[12:08] ocean of presence, again, call it what
[12:10] you want. The ocean of the ocean of
[12:13] you never comes and goes.
[12:16] So that's why I say and I hope you can
[12:18] understand this now if you know um if
[12:21] you thank you for watching up to this
[12:23] point by the
[12:25] way is that that's why I say you can't
[12:28] you can't do presence that's why I say
[12:31] stop trying to be
[12:33] present stop making presence into a
[12:35] future attainment or a goal or stop
[12:37] making enlightenment or awakening or
[12:39] conscious awareness any of these things
[12:43] into a future goal.
[12:45] Not that there's anything wrong with
[12:46] that. That's just what the mind does.
[12:49] But this is an invitation to to just be
[12:51] aware of this whole mechanism. And
[12:55] that's what that's what meditation
[12:57] really is, is this momentby-moment
[13:00] invitation
[13:02] to to notice. Oh wow, my mind is
[13:07] so off in the past, off in the future.
[13:11] Wow. My mind has made presence into a
[13:15] goal. Oh my god. Look, I'm
[13:18] chasing I'm chasing
[13:22] consciousness. It's everything is right
[13:24] here. It's right here. It's right here.
[13:28] It's like the eyeball. And these are
[13:30] all, you know, overused metaphors, but
[13:32] it's like the eyeball trying to see
[13:34] itself. It's like a wave in the ocean
[13:37] trying to find the ocean. the wave will
[13:39] exhaust itself as we do, bless our
[13:42] hearts, trying to find the ocean. And
[13:46] maybe that's all part of the process.
[13:48] Maybe we all have to go through that
[13:49] that that
[13:51] seeking experience trying to find or
[13:54] desperately trying to find trying to
[13:55] find. But then at some point there is
[13:59] this
[14:00] remembering
[14:02] oh it's already here. I am already
[14:06] that. It's like that famous book by
[14:09] Nisagata Maharaj. I am that. It's like
[14:12] oh I am already the ocean. I have always
[14:15] been that. Call it call it whatever you
[14:20] you want. It's all fingers pointing to
[14:22] the moon. It's all fingers pointing to
[14:25] the moon.
[14:27] Um it's here and that's where the relief
[14:31] can come. That's where the relaxation
[14:33] can come. That's where the nervous
[14:34] system can just can just
[14:36] rest. There's there's nowhere to get to.
[14:40] Presence is not a goal. So that's why I
[14:43] say to people actually the truth is you
[14:45] you cannot not be present. You cannot
[14:48] not be in the now. And at that point
[14:50] even the phrase in the now kind of
[14:53] collapses. It disintegrates. Falls back
[14:55] into the
[14:56] ocean. In the now. Out of the now. In
[14:59] the now. Out of the now. In presence.
[15:01] outer presence, present, not present.
[15:04] All of those waves kind
[15:06] of just relax back into the into the
[15:11] ocean. So, I hope that was helpful to to
[15:15] some of you. Um, I know that this stuff
[15:19] used to just drive me up the wall quite
[15:21] literally. And when one day I've just
[15:25] finally realized that, oh my
[15:28] god, it's the wave seeking
[15:32] the ocean. It's the way of seeking
[15:34] itself. There's no
[15:36] separation. It was there. It was it was
[15:38] so it brought such a deep sense of
[15:41] relief. Such a a deep sense of
[15:45] relief
[15:48] that the sacredness is is in the
[15:52] ordinary. The extraordinary is in the
[15:53] ordinary. Just sitting
[15:55] here
[15:57] breathing, wearing clothes or not
[15:59] wearing clothes, hearing these words,
[16:01] understanding them, not understanding
[16:04] understanding them, trying to be present
[16:06] or not trying to be present, trying to
[16:08] escape the now or being in the now or
[16:11] not being in in the now or, you know,
[16:15] feeling grief or feeling joy or feeling
[16:17] everything in between. It it's all um
[16:20] it's all
[16:21] divine. Doesn't mean it's always
[16:23] comfortable. doesn't mean it's always
[16:24] easy. Doesn't mean it doesn't mean we
[16:26] don't forget this sometimes because we
[16:28] do. And yet even that forgetting yeah of
[16:32] course sometimes the wave forgets that
[16:36] it is the ocean and it starts seeking
[16:39] again. But this is the beauty of
[16:40] meditation because every every
[16:43] moment is a new invitation to
[16:48] remember. It's kind of built into the
[16:51] moment is is this this invitation
[16:53] to
[16:58] remember. And that's why everything can
[17:00] help you. You know, a bird singing in
[17:02] the tree over there or a car beeping its
[17:04] horn or the the sound of kids playing or
[17:08] a sensation in your body or a piece of
[17:12] music or anything. Any anything can be a
[17:15] meditation bell.
[17:17] anything can remind
[17:19] you. Oh, it's
[17:22] here. It's
[17:26] here. Thank you so much for watching
[17:28] this video if if you made it this far.
[17:31] Uh please subscribe to my channel if if
[17:34] you know if you like these videos. I'll
[17:36] be making more more of these free videos
[17:38] um as time goes on, even though time is
[17:41] an
[17:42] illusion. Lots of love to you all. Take
[17:44] care. Bye-bye.