Transcript
[0:01] A question for me is balancing our
[0:03] guru's teachings in everyday life. For
[0:05] example, in our workplace, not to judge
[0:08] people, not to upset them. How do we
[0:11] balance that? For example, having a
[0:13] scenario where a difficult colleague
[0:15] pulling them up on something, then
[0:17] you're upsetting them. How do we b
[0:19] balance that?
[0:23] It is true that
[0:27] in
[0:29] our family lives, in our working lives,
[0:32] we often come across people who
[0:36] do act out of
[0:39] cruelty, do act out of selfishness.
[0:43] And there's this struggle that we have
[0:47] within us which is do I need to remain
[0:51] humble? Do I need to just accept it? Do
[0:53] I need to do nothing about it?
[0:57] A question that sometimes people ask is
[1:00] am I being too humble that I become
[1:04] something a doormat that people walk all
[1:06] over?
[1:10] Should I stand up and do something about
[1:12] it?
[1:14] And my way of looking at this has always
[1:18] been
[1:19] act
[1:21] when you think your actions will have an
[1:24] impact.
[1:26] Act if you will have an impact
[1:32] because there are people who you know
[1:36] before you speak to them this guy is
[1:38] never going to change.
[1:42] So then what is your reason for acting?
[1:46] It's something to ask ourself. What is
[1:48] my reason for acting when I know this
[1:50] person's never going to change? Then
[1:53] you're acting to satisfy your own
[1:55] frustration.
[1:59] And when you act to satisfy your own
[2:01] frustration, I don't know if you've
[2:02] noticed, it actually has the opposite
[2:05] impact. It actually impacts you
[2:07] negatively.
[2:10] When you don't say something and you go
[2:13] home and go to bed at night, you're
[2:15] playing in your mind around, oh, I, you
[2:17] know, I really should have said
[2:18] something. When you do say something and
[2:21] the person still doesn't take your
[2:23] advice, then you're still frustrated.
[2:26] You go home and you get frustrated. I
[2:28] should have said this. I should have
[2:30] said that. Next time I see him, I'm
[2:32] going to say that.
[2:34] What have you solved?
[2:37] You are not at peace within yourself.
[2:40] They haven't changed. What has your
[2:41] action done?
[2:44] And this is why for me my guiding
[2:46] principle has been what is going to
[2:49] bring peace to me?
[2:51] The only impact the only difference
[2:53] there and the only exception to that is
[2:56] if they're doing something to to affect
[2:58] somebody else's life. when they're
[3:00] negatively impacting somebody else's
[3:02] life, I feel like I have to step in not
[3:05] for them to change, but to help the
[3:08] other people who are being impacted,
[3:10] whether they change or not, the the the
[3:12] the perpetrator, whether they change or
[3:14] not is I I know they're not going to
[3:16] change.
[3:18] But if nothing else, you have to stand
[3:20] up and say something just so that the
[3:21] other people can be shielded or the
[3:24] other people know that at least you
[3:27] stood up for them. next time you are
[3:29] there, you're their friend, you're their
[3:31] companion.
[3:32] Where does impact lie? And I think
[3:35] that's how I've
[3:38] come to this this understanding within
[3:41] my own life of when to act and when not
[3:43] to act. I am not a believer in just
[3:46] acting for for acting sake just to
[3:48] satisfy myself that at least I did
[3:50] something when it's had no impact on
[3:52] anyone when it's not done anything.
[3:55] Whether that's right or wrong, I don't
[3:56] know.
[3:58] Maybe it's just me and my nonconlict
[4:01] personality that just says, "I don't
[4:02] want to do anything. I'm not interested.
[4:04] I'll just I'd rather go home and be at
[4:05] peace." That's that's something that
[4:08] you're going to have to work out. But I
[4:11] my guidance in this is don't judge
[4:14] whether you should act or not. Judge
[4:17] whether you can have an impact.
[4:19] >> Just following on from that, what
[4:21] happens when that conflict is in the
[4:23] home?
[4:24] How can I remain mentally unaffected
[4:28] while living with a partner who is often
[4:30] judgmental and critical?
[4:38] >> I think when it comes to the home, it's
[4:41] actually a lot harder
[4:43] because
[4:46] when it's people outside of the home,
[4:48] you have the option to at least walk
[4:50] away. When it's people at home,
[4:53] sometimes we live with people where they
[4:55] themselves are taunting you. They like
[4:59] just pushing your buttons. They like
[5:01] being the one that annoys you.
[5:04] And eventually,
[5:06] one of the things that this wisdom
[5:08] doesn't shy away from is telling you to
[5:11] walk away from negative people in your
[5:13] life.
[5:15] This wisdom doesn't shy away from that.
[5:16] In fact, it actively encourages you say
[5:19] walk away from people who are negative
[5:23] in your life. That is that's not an easy
[5:26] answer. And each person has to make
[5:28] their own mind up about what the impact
[5:30] of that walking away means.
[5:33] People have commitments, they have
[5:36] families together, they have children
[5:38] together.
[5:40] But one thing I've heard time and time
[5:42] again when people have walked away,
[5:44] what's the one thing they've said again
[5:46] and again? I should have done this years
[5:48] ago.
[5:51] So I'm not
[5:53] going to be able to give you individual
[5:55] answers to solve your personal scenarios
[5:58] around which person in your life do you
[6:01] hang around with, which person do you
[6:02] stay? A lot of the time people stay for
[6:05] the reasons that they want to stay for
[6:07] the children. They want to stay for the
[6:09] betterment of the family. Sometimes they
[6:11] stay for tolerance.
[6:14] You know, I I'm going to see if maybe
[6:16] this person can change.
[6:19] I know if you look at the generations
[6:22] before us, there are incredible people,
[6:25] incredible women that have stayed in
[6:27] abusive relationships for a very long
[6:28] time. And you ask them, why are you
[6:30] still in this relationship? And they
[6:32] made their peace with it. and they say
[6:34] this was God's will and I'm okay with
[6:37] God's will. They're okay in those
[6:39] scenarios. They've worked out a solution
[6:41] for them. And I I and I see these people
[6:44] and I and I bow down to them. I can't
[6:46] understand how they stay in those
[6:48] relationships. How they stay in those
[6:50] situations where nothing seems to be
[6:53] going their way, but they've made their
[6:55] peace with it. So, this really isn't a
[6:58] black and white answer. It really is a
[7:01] question of what is going to be right
[7:03] for you. There is no wrong answer. You
[7:06] know, sometimes we've done these
[7:07] scenarios and and and I've even had
[7:09] somebody say to me, "It says in the
[7:10] Gurransab that you're not allowed to
[7:12] have a divorce, so what are we supposed
[7:14] to do?" And I'm like, "Who told you
[7:17] that?" I know who told you that. Your
[7:20] mother-in-law told you that.
[7:24] And people often con conflate
[7:28] the wisdom with the culture.
[7:34] There are many cultures in the world
[7:36] that frown upon divorce, that frown upon
[7:38] family breakups, that would rather keep
[7:40] the the ruse
[7:42] that this family is okay and it doesn't
[7:45] matter how what's really going on.
[7:48] In fact, they want to keep up the
[7:50] perception that if you separate, then it
[7:54] will look bad on all of us. Then you're
[7:56] airing your dirty dirty laundry out into
[7:58] public. Keep it in the home. Live with
[8:02] it. Accept it. There's no right answer.
[8:04] When when your elders tell you learn to
[8:06] accept it, there's a beautiful teaching
[8:08] in that. If you can learn to accept it,
[8:11] if you can find your peace with it,
[8:13] there's a beautiful wisdom in that.
[8:14] They're not wrong.
[8:17] But I know this generation and and
[8:19] future generations to come, we're less
[8:21] tolerant than our than our elders were.
[8:24] We have more options now. In previous
[8:28] generations, when your elders say stick
[8:30] with it, they knew that you had no other
[8:32] options. What are you going to do if
[8:34] where are you going to live?
[8:37] But in today's generation, we know
[8:38] actually if I leave, I might be okay. So
[8:42] there isn't a right or wrong answer. And
[8:44] unfortunately people come to
[8:48] these sessions and they they want the
[8:50] right answer.
[8:52] The right answer is what is right for
[8:54] you. You have to work it out. Nobody is
[8:57] going to judge you at the moment of
[9:00] death for walking away from an abusive
[9:02] relationship.
[9:04] There is no black and white answer here.
[9:07] In fact, if you want a black and white
[9:08] answer, the question is it's up to you.
[9:11] Do what is right. do what you think is
[9:14] right based on your circumstances.
[9:17] >> Hi, SP. Uh, thank you. I just want to
[9:19] say thank you for all the free content
[9:21] that you put online. Um, I came across
[9:23] your channel about a year ago and that
[9:25] was one of the big catalysts for me
[9:27] becoming a seek. Um, I obviously didn't
[9:29] grow up a seek as you can all tell.
[9:32] Um, I've got a question about
[9:34] relationships. You sort of touched on it
[9:36] a bit and what you were saying earlier
[9:37] about emptiness. Um, I want to know what
[9:42] I guess Gurun Nanuk and the other gurus
[9:45] spoke about when it comes to what to
[9:47] look for in a person. And I asked this
[9:49] because if you look at modern culture,
[9:51] it almost feels like we're looking for
[9:53] the divine in another person. And you
[9:57] know, all the things that we
[9:59] requires people have of relationships,
[10:01] it just seems impossible. And I I don't
[10:03] think the gurus were ever looking for
[10:04] their soulmate. Um so I want to know
[10:08] what Siki teaches about this.
[10:11] >> So the question is around what to look
[10:13] for in a partner.
[10:14] >> Yeah. For
[10:15] >> what are the qualities to look for in a
[10:16] partner?
[10:17] >> Yeah.
[10:21] >> The sik tradition is
[10:25] relatively quiet about
[10:30] marriage
[10:31] and what to look for in a life partner.
[10:37] In fact, any reference to marriage and a
[10:40] partner has been turned into your
[10:45] marriage with the divine.
[10:49] Are you married to this oneness? Do you
[10:53] know how to be in a relationship with
[10:54] this oneness?
[10:56] And if there's any advice around that,
[11:00] it is be with others who are also on the
[11:03] same journey as you.
[11:06] Sometimes I get asked a question around
[11:10] interfaith marriages. Should a sik
[11:13] always marry a sik?
[11:16] And I answer that question as a yes,
[11:21] but with using my definition of a sick,
[11:23] not the public's definition of a sick. A
[11:25] lot of people say, "Oh, a sick should
[11:27] should only marry a sick." But what they
[11:28] mean is somebody who is just born into
[11:31] that religion should always marry
[11:33] somebody else who's born into that
[11:34] religion. What I say is, if you are
[11:37] walking down a path, why would you marry
[11:39] someone who is on a different path?
[11:42] When I say different path, I don't mean
[11:44] different religion. I mean they have
[11:47] different motivations in life. They're
[11:48] not interested in what you're interested
[11:50] in.
[11:52] They're interested in pursuing
[11:54] materialism and a worldly life and they
[11:57] have no interest in spirituality. So for
[11:59] me I define a sick as someone who is
[12:01] trying to reconnect with the divine with
[12:04] the oneness in whatever religion they're
[12:06] from. It makes no difference. They have
[12:08] a genuine thirst and a desire to want to
[12:11] connect with that oneness.
[12:14] If you are going to walk down that path,
[12:16] why would you not want your partner to
[12:18] walk down that path?
[12:21] So this becomes harder when people join
[12:24] a spiritual tradition already in a in a
[12:27] relationship. Many times you meet people
[12:31] and and they're already married, they
[12:33] have children together, and then they
[12:35] found spirituality, then they found this
[12:38] wisdom and then they say, "But my
[12:39] husband's not into it. My wife's not
[12:41] into it." In fact, this is an area of
[12:43] conflict for us.
[12:46] And
[12:47] what I have begun to understand is
[12:50] conflict is only going to be if if you
[12:53] joining this path has made you just join
[12:57] a a club where you dress a certain way,
[13:00] you look a certain way, you attend
[13:01] certain programs, you do these things.
[13:03] That to me is is is of little value.
[13:09] If you joining any kind of spiritual
[13:11] tradition has genu genuinely elevated
[13:14] you as a person, I think the people
[13:16] around you should be able to see that.
[13:18] Are you more patient? Are you more
[13:21] tolerant? Are you more loving to all
[13:24] people?
[13:26] Are you kind?
[13:28] Do these values
[13:31] start to flower from within you? If they
[13:34] do, other people around you should be
[13:36] able to see, oh, I get why you joined it
[13:38] now. I get what what was missing in your
[13:42] life. And if it's in their destiny, they
[13:45] will also be attracted to that. They may
[13:47] or may not. They may or may not, but
[13:50] that is not your concern. Your concern
[13:52] is, is this genuinely in improving my
[13:55] life? Am I flowering as a person? Am I
[14:00] able to become more fragrant?
[14:05] Whether somebody else picks up that
[14:06] fragrance is up to them. But if this is
[14:09] something that is important to you, you
[14:11] would always want to find other people
[14:13] around you. And that doesn't just mean
[14:15] your life partner. That means your
[14:17] friends.
[14:20] I had to let go of friends. When this
[14:22] path became something that was so
[14:25] valuable to me in my life, I didn't want
[14:27] to hang around people who were
[14:29] criticizing others, who were making
[14:31] jokes that I didn't I no longer found
[14:33] funny because they were at the expense
[14:35] of somebody else. I didn't want to hang
[14:37] around people who wanted to be asleep
[14:40] all day but awake all night. That's not
[14:42] what I was interested in anymore. So I
[14:45] had to make the difficult decision that
[14:47] said actually these are not these are
[14:50] you know I I'm thankful to you and I
[14:52] don't judge you but this is no longer a
[14:54] place for me and I think it's that where
[14:57] you're not judging the other person
[14:59] you're just saying it our values don't
[15:02] match anymore we're no longer compatible
[15:04] in the same way maybe we were a few
[15:07] years ago we were friends we used to all
[15:08] do the same things but I found something
[15:10] new but I don't want to now disrespect
[15:13] you I'm I'm not going to look down upon
[15:15] you because that's not what my my my the
[15:18] wisdom is teaching me.
[15:20] So it is about there's a very strong
[15:25] emphasis on spending time with the other
[15:29] people who can elevate you further.
[15:32] Do that in every part of your life.
[15:35] Everyone that you hang around with.
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[16:04] >> Uh Sri Kal, uh I've been watching you
[16:07] guys since I was a teenager, so it's
[16:08] really nice to see you in person. Uh I
[16:11] have a question that is on a topic
[16:13] that's a bit taboo. And the only reason
[16:15] I feel like it would be relevant to
[16:18] bring it out in a public setting rather
[16:20] than a public rather than a private
[16:22] setting is because I think it is a topic
[16:24] that has affected most people either
[16:27] directly or indirectly where they know a
[16:29] person who's gone through something like
[16:30] this. Um you've talked a lot about
[16:33] karma. You've talked a lot about
[16:35] forgiveness, ego. Um and then you also
[16:38] made a point where um earlier on your
[16:41] question where you're like see
[16:42] everything as a gift, see everything um
[16:44] as like you know accept everything. Um
[16:47] so how should victims of sexual assault
[16:50] and domestic violence kind of like
[16:52] interpret your thoughts? Um you know
[16:55] what does Siki say that the healing
[16:57] process looks like for people who have
[17:00] gone through this sort of adversity? Um
[17:03] and how does forgiveness look like in
[17:05] that case? Thank you.
[17:12] The sick wisdom
[17:15] speaks almost nothing of forgiveness.
[17:20] And people are surprised when I say that
[17:25] in fact the one or two quotes from the
[17:28] guru's tradition where they bring up
[17:31] around forgiveness is actually not
[17:33] forgiveness. There's one word within the
[17:36] sik tradition called kima.
[17:40] Within
[17:42] the tradition that word actually means
[17:45] tolerance rather than forgiveness. In
[17:48] today's day and age that word is used
[17:50] more as forgiveness but in the context
[17:53] of the teachings of the wisdom it is
[17:54] about tolerance.
[17:57] So the sik wisdom
[17:59] is
[18:01] surprisingly silent about forgiveness.
[18:04] And I've had to wonder about this. Why
[18:06] is that? It's such an important subject.
[18:08] What about the people who have been
[18:10] abused or victimized in some way?
[18:14] And when I understood that the reason it
[18:16] is silent about forgiveness is because
[18:19] forgiveness the underlying
[18:23] assumption is that I am different to
[18:26] you.
[18:28] Duality
[18:30] separateness
[18:33] is fundamental to the idea of
[18:36] forgiveness.
[18:38] And this sounds very strange. I
[18:40] understand it as I'm even saying it. how
[18:42] different it sounds to what everybody
[18:44] will teach you. Oh, it's good to
[18:45] forgive. You must forgive.
[18:48] What the wisdom teaches is not
[18:52] I forgive you.
[18:55] Because when you say I forgive you, what
[18:57] you really mean is I don't like what you
[19:00] did. You did wrong to me, but I have
[19:04] made my peace with it.
[19:08] That is not what this wisdom teaches.
[19:11] This wisdom teaches people are who they
[19:13] are. You have to learn to let go.
[19:18] Have you learned to let go?
[19:21] Because whether you forgive the other
[19:24] person is irrelevant. What does it mean
[19:26] to forgive the other person? It just
[19:29] means I no longer feel pain when I see
[19:32] you, but I still feel pain. I'm still
[19:36] carrying some pain, but I am no longer
[19:38] directing my pain at you.
[19:41] The wisdom wants you to deal with the
[19:43] pain, not with the other person, not
[19:45] with the person who caused the pain.
[19:48] Pain itself is something you have to
[19:50] deal with. Are you okay with everything
[19:52] that has happened to you? Can you let go
[19:55] of that?
[19:58] That becomes a much harder thing to deal
[20:00] with regardless of of the other people
[20:03] because there are other things that can
[20:05] happen in your life where you've got
[20:06] nobody directly to blame.
[20:10] Who are you going to forgive then? You
[20:12] can experience loss and tragedy where
[20:14] there is no other person that caused it.
[20:17] Then who will you forgive?
[20:20] But you will still experience pain.
[20:23] So this is why I say you don't offer
[20:28] swimming lessons to somebody who's
[20:29] drowning.
[20:31] If somebody is drowning, I'm not going
[20:33] to start lecturing them on on the the
[20:36] nuance of the ego and and and and the
[20:38] psychology of of forgiveness.
[20:42] For those people, you have to be there
[20:44] for them. You have to help them.
[20:47] Whatever whatever that means. If you
[20:50] yourself are the person who is the
[20:52] victim of that, if you yourself are the
[20:55] one that is traumatized, if you're the
[20:57] one that has been abused,
[20:59] forgiving the other person is a a it's
[21:03] fine. It's it's it's it's nothing that
[21:06] significant. Go ahead, forgive them. Not
[21:08] a problem.
[21:10] But deal with yourself. Deal with your
[21:14] pain.
[21:15] There are people who blame God when they
[21:18] can't blame anyone else. There are
[21:20] people who blame their past lives when
[21:22] they can't blame anyone else. There are
[21:24] people who don't know who to blame
[21:25] because they don't believe in a God, but
[21:27] they're still walking around with pain.
[21:31] So, Gurunanak and the teachings say, "Do
[21:35] not focus on blame. If you're going to
[21:38] blame anyone, blame your confused mind."
[21:44] What that is doing is bringing the the
[21:46] the thing back to you. It is not about
[21:48] the person. It is not about the things
[21:50] that they've done.
[21:53] Can you come to a a place of peace? Can
[21:56] you be in a place of of serenity, of
[21:59] tranquility?
[22:01] Can you experience joy despite the ups
[22:05] and downs of life? despite the the the
[22:09] horrific things that that that that may
[22:11] have happened to you.
[22:13] And the way I've understood it
[22:17] is
[22:19] you caused me pain that one time,
[22:23] but I cause myself pain every day when I
[22:26] carry it.
[22:29] I am not interested in forgiving you.
[22:32] I'm interested in learning how to not
[22:34] carry the pain every day.
[22:37] Does that make sense?
[22:40] But
[22:41] >> I wish I could say more than these words
[22:43] that how thankful
[22:45] that you came into this world and
[22:51] touched so many lives.
[22:54] My question is
[22:57] that I know we talk about that this is
[23:00] this is universal story and this is
[23:04] hookum. You have to believe you not
[23:07] believe sorry but everything is hookum.
[23:10] So I'm just trying to understand now
[23:12] when we talk about living in a detached
[23:15] way playing this game of life.
[23:20] How do you how do you have that
[23:23] detachment when your own child is
[23:25] suffering and
[23:28] you're you're telling yourself this is
[23:31] hookum this is universal story but do in
[23:34] in your heart you deeply love your child
[23:37] but you cannot live with the pain the
[23:40] fear the control that so I I'm just
[23:43] trying to understand please help me that
[23:45] how I can live in that situation thank
[23:49] Thank you.
[23:50] >> Thank you.
[23:51] >> Sorry. Can I just add very similar
[23:53] question that we did have on that
[23:55] subject? How can I truly accept my
[23:58] hookum while struggling to cope with a
[24:00] loved one's dementia and support
[24:03] family's emotional well-being through
[24:06] spiritual wisdom?
[24:26] There is so much pain.
[24:29] There are so many things in life
[24:33] where we understand the theory of it.
[24:36] But the reality, the real experience
[24:39] is so much
[24:41] more overwhelming
[24:44] than we had
[24:46] anticipated.
[24:50] When
[24:52] real struggles come in our life,
[24:55] I always question
[24:57] that I can give all these theories and I
[24:59] can say all these things
[25:03] but I haven't gone through these.
[25:06] I haven't experienced any real traumas
[25:08] and pains in my life. And who am I to
[25:11] sit on stages and tell people that oh
[25:14] it's okay and let go and accept the
[25:17] reality of life.
[25:23] I feel like a fraud many times when I
[25:27] speak these things knowing that at the
[25:29] back of my mind I've actually had a very
[25:31] comfortable life.
[25:35] The only thing
[25:38] that changes that is when I meet people
[25:43] time and time again that say you helped
[25:46] me. These teachings actually helped me.
[25:49] I went through something really
[25:51] difficult and what you say is actually
[25:53] true. It works.
[25:58] You made a mistake
[26:01] when you thanked me for coming into this
[26:04] world.
[26:07] The reality is if somebody writes a
[26:10] really good book and I stand here on
[26:13] stage and I read the book,
[26:15] you can't give me the praise for how
[26:17] good the story is.
[26:20] I didn't write it.
[26:22] These teachings genuinely come from
[26:24] spiritual masters. They don't come from
[26:26] frauds like me. I'm a fake.
[26:30] I tell you why I'm a fake is because
[26:32] I've never really been tested in life.
[26:35] And
[26:36] I worry
[26:38] all the things that you sit so proudly
[26:40] on stage teaching. Are you going to be
[26:42] able to apply it when difficulty hits
[26:44] your life? And I don't know. I'm honest
[26:48] about it. I have quite a comfortable
[26:50] life.
[26:53] But the wisdom is nothing to do with me.
[26:56] The wisdom genuinely works time and time
[26:59] again. And I cannot tell you the number
[27:01] of people who are in your situation that
[27:04] say this wisdom works.
[27:07] I don't know how it works. I don't know
[27:09] why it works, but I know it works.
[27:12] There is nothing more
[27:15] for me to show to you
[27:18] than to just tell you this works.
[27:24] Whatever you're practicing,
[27:27] you said that I understand hookum. I
[27:30] understand the state of acceptance. I
[27:34] understand all these things, but I'm
[27:36] still struggling.
[27:38] My question to you is, how much more
[27:40] would you struggle if you didn't have
[27:42] this wisdom in your life?
[27:48] Even more,
[27:50] you would suffer. so much more if you
[27:53] didn't have this wisdom in your life. So
[27:56] the fact that you struggle when real
[27:58] difficulties are hitting your life is
[28:01] not
[28:03] a proof that this that you're not doing
[28:06] something right. It's not a proof that
[28:07] you're doing something wrong. It's a
[28:09] proof of how huge your heart is and how
[28:11] much love you have for your loved ones
[28:14] and how much it genuinely hurts to see
[28:18] your loved ones struggle. Feeling
[28:21] helpless,
[28:22] feeling lost, feeling confused. Why is
[28:25] this happening?
[28:28] Feeling completely useless. Seeing your
[28:30] loved one experience pain and not
[28:32] knowing what you can do to take that
[28:34] pain away.
[28:36] This is when this wisdom works. It is in
[28:40] moments like this that these teachings
[28:41] work. There is no new secret for you to
[28:44] unlock.
[28:46] This is it. Keep going. Ups and downs
[28:50] are inevitable.
[28:53] We will all go through this at some
[28:55] point. If you experience nothing else,
[28:57] we're all going to experience losing our
[28:59] bodies, our own health deteriorating.
[29:02] That's going to that's coming for every
[29:04] single one of us
[29:06] every day. Can you practice a little bit
[29:09] of gratitude towards the divine love for
[29:12] the divine acceptance for the divine
[29:14] will?
[29:16] This is this is the teaching. It doesn't
[29:18] get more complicated than that.
[29:21] And the fact that you are experiencing
[29:23] pain is not that this teaching isn't
[29:25] working. It is that you just have to
[29:27] keep going. Apply it more and more and
[29:29] more. There is nothing new. This is it.
[29:33] This is the wisdom that works. And maybe
[29:36] you will only realize when you come out
[29:38] of it and you realize actually this was
[29:41] a wisdom that was saving me from
[29:43] drowning.
[29:45] The guru uses a beautiful analogy. This
[29:47] wisdom is the boat that stops you from
[29:49] drowning.
[29:52] There are millions of people out there
[29:53] that are drowning right now that don't
[29:55] have access to these teachings.
[29:59] This wisdom is a boat. So it is not that
[30:03] you are in the water. It is the fact
[30:06] that you are on a boat and you are
[30:08] riding the wave. Yes, there there are
[30:10] storms to come. Yes, there are waves to
[30:12] come. They're coming for all of us. But
[30:15] I would much rather be on a boat
[30:18] tackling these storms than drowning in
[30:20] the water trying to trying to swim
[30:22] through it on my own. Let the wisdom let
[30:24] the wisdom take you.
[30:27] stay connected to this wisdom more than
[30:30] anything else I can advise you is every
[30:32] day read this wisdom every day listen to
[30:35] this wisdom it is genuinely a lifesaving
[30:38] boat that will stop you from drowning
[30:41] again and again
[30:43] thank you
[30:45] following from that maybe it's just a
[30:48] little add-on maybe you've already
[30:49] answered it but how does detachment fit
[30:52] in with loving your family and Verag fit
[30:57] with deep grief. For example, using
[31:00] losing a a young child.
[31:14] Detachment
[31:17] is knowing
[31:19] that everybody's time is coming
[31:24] and loving them anyway.
[31:27] Loving life anyway.
[31:30] Living life anyway.
[31:33] Everyone's time is coming.
[31:37] What I love about this wisdom is it
[31:40] doesn't shy away from these difficult
[31:42] truths.
[31:44] The subject of death comes up again and
[31:46] again and again. It is not afraid to
[31:50] wake you up and say, "Don't you know
[31:52] this is coming? Didn't you know that
[31:55] this was coming?
[31:58] Don't you know that your husband and
[32:00] your wife and your parents and your
[32:01] children and your brothers and sisters
[32:03] are all going to die?
[32:06] We live in a society that does not want
[32:08] to talk about these things. Like somehow
[32:11] it is bad to talk about these things.
[32:14] The spiritual masters are saying
[32:17] why wouldn't you talk about something
[32:19] that is an absolute truth that is an
[32:22] inevitable truth that is going to come
[32:24] for all of us. Why wouldn't you talk
[32:26] about it? Why would you just bury your
[32:29] head in the sand and hope that it's
[32:30] going to go away? This is what society
[32:32] teaches us to do. Don't talk about it
[32:36] somehow as though talking about it is
[32:38] going to invite it into your house.
[32:41] No, death is not waiting for your
[32:44] invitation.
[32:46] Death is coming.
[32:48] And for some of us, it has come. It has
[32:50] come for our loved ones.
[32:53] That is what detachment is. Knowing how
[32:56] to live life
[32:59] fully acknowledging that death is
[33:01] looming over all of us
[33:04] and being okay with that.
[33:06] It is there. It is circling above and it
[33:10] is going to swoop down one day and get
[33:12] every single one of us. And that's okay
[33:14] too. I had no say in being born and I
[33:20] had no issue with being born. So why
[33:22] should I have a say in death?
[33:26] Why do I have an issue with one thing
[33:29] but not an issue with another thing?
[33:31] Society has warped our thinking. Society
[33:35] says celebrate
[33:36] birth
[33:39] and be miserable when death comes. But
[33:43] the masters are saying be neutral to
[33:45] both.
[33:48] One of the best mantras that has worked
[33:50] for me is if it comes let it come. If it
[33:55] goes let it go.
[33:59] Be neutral to life.
[34:03] Be in a state of joy no matter what life
[34:06] throws at you. Society teaches you two
[34:09] emotions.
[34:11] Suffering or happiness.
[34:15] Sadness or happiness. Pain or pleasure.
[34:18] The masters say there is a third one.
[34:22] Stillness.
[34:23] Contentment.
[34:25] It is rising above.
[34:29] Pain and pleasure is like being on an
[34:32] emotional roller coaster. Sometimes
[34:34] you're up, sometimes you're down. If
[34:36] you're down, an up is coming. And if
[34:38] you're up, a down is coming. And society
[34:41] teaches you to ride the emotional roller
[34:43] coaster.
[34:44] Any mental health professional sitting
[34:46] here will tell you good mental health is
[34:50] experiencing a range of all emotions and
[34:53] still being able to function in in
[34:54] society.
[34:57] Spiritual masters will tell you, "No,
[34:59] good mental health is being at peace no
[35:02] matter what happens. It is not about if
[35:05] you're angry, be angry. If you're sad,
[35:07] be sad." That's what some people teach
[35:09] you. Oh, you should experience all the
[35:11] emotions. They're all good.
[35:14] But just don't have extremes of any of
[35:16] them.
[35:18] If you're frustrated, allow your
[35:19] frustration. If you're happy, be happy.
[35:23] Why would you want to ride the emotional
[35:25] roller coaster? We've tried that.
[35:28] We've tried experiencing great joy and
[35:31] then the next moment suffering comes.
[35:35] Hermit's grandmother used to say, "Don't
[35:37] laugh too much otherwise you'll end up
[35:39] crying."
[35:41] And there was a truth in that.
[35:44] There's a truth in that.
[35:47] If you get too happy, sadness is just
[35:49] around the corner. But those are your
[35:51] not your only two choices.
[35:54] There is a third option. It's called
[35:56] sque [cough and clears throat]
[35:58] contentment.
[36:00] Being neutral, being joyful, not
[36:04] excited,
[36:06] not elated, but just at peace.
[36:10] That is where the masters reside. That's
[36:13] where the spiritual masters are at a
[36:16] very fine line between the two.
[36:21] peace no matter what.
[36:25] If you enjoy learning spiritual
[36:27] teachings [music] and you're looking to
[36:29] deepen your understanding, the most
[36:31] effective way is to learn with a group
[36:33] of friends. Right now, you can set up
[36:36] your very own Nanakna Meetup group
[36:38] [music] from the comfort of your own
[36:40] homes. Gather your friends, family
[36:43] members, or colleagues and start your
[36:45] very own wisdom group by visiting
[36:47] livingwithwisdom.org.
[36:49] or there you'll find a range of Nanakdam
[36:52] courses [music]
[36:53] designed specifically for groups that
[36:55] you can watch together and discuss. A
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[37:04] impact on their lives. Find out how easy
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[37:10] visiting livingwithwisdom.org.
[37:14] >> Hi Satbell. It's so good to be here
[37:16] amongst everybody sharing such lovely
[37:20] lovely thoughts and I wanted to get you
[37:23] to clarify about free will. I know
[37:27] everything is in hookum but when it
[37:31] comes to free will do we have any free
[37:33] will at all? Like for example now all of
[37:37] a sudden if I turn around and smack my
[37:39] sister was she supposed to feel that
[37:42] pain? Was it in a karma to feel that
[37:44] pain or at that point did I have a
[37:46] choice? So just wanted clarification on
[37:49] that.
[37:51] >> Thank you. That's a really important
[37:53] question and I know that we've had a
[37:54] number of questions around free will.
[37:57] [snorts]
[38:01] It's a difficult question to answer
[38:04] because
[38:06] it's really dependent on who is
[38:08] listening.
[38:11] Some people are not wired in a way that
[38:14] they will be able to understand when I
[38:17] say that you don't have any free will
[38:20] and other people will understand it and
[38:22] it'll make sense to them. And
[38:26] I used to spend all of my trying time
[38:28] trying to convince you that you don't
[38:30] have free will until I realized that
[38:31] there are just most people who just
[38:33] don't understand that.
[38:35] So
[38:39] the way that I've made my peace with
[38:42] that is to try to help people. Please
[38:44] understand, don't be hitting your
[38:47] siblings. [laughter]
[38:51] Whatever free will you have, choose it
[38:53] to do something good.
[38:56] Use your choices
[39:00] in a way that is not always
[39:02] self-serving.
[39:04] Use your choices in a way to benefit
[39:08] the lives of all the people that are
[39:10] around you.
[39:12] We all have a limited amount of time on
[39:15] this earth. What do you want to do with
[39:18] your time?
[39:20] Where do you want to focus your time and
[39:22] energy?
[39:25] Now, the more intellectual side of my
[39:29] brain wants to go into the nuance of
[39:31] free will. Do we have free will or not?
[39:34] And a simple answer that I have to that
[39:37] is when we talk about do I have free
[39:40] will?
[39:42] Free from what would be my response.
[39:47] Free from what?
[39:50] Because the word free will implies that
[39:53] I am free to make my own choices
[39:57] and I am independent and I can make my
[40:00] own choices. So using your analogy, I
[40:03] choose whether to hit my sister or not
[40:06] or I choose not to hit them. I am free
[40:09] to make that choice. But I always want
[40:13] you to refocus. It's not about do I have
[40:15] a choice. Who are you trying to be free
[40:18] from?
[40:21] And
[40:23] when you understand that the wisdom is
[40:26] trying to teach you oneness,
[40:30] you cannot be free from oneness.
[40:33] Oneness
[40:34] is flowing through you.
[40:38] It is happening to you. It is happening
[40:40] through you.
[40:43] So whether you choose to act on your
[40:46] impulses or not is not your choice.
[40:50] We all have impulses and we all like to
[40:52] think I can choose whether to do this or
[40:55] not. I can choose whether to make a cup
[40:57] of tea or a cup of coffee. The feeling
[41:00] that you have is I have a choice. But
[41:03] the reality is that life is flowing
[41:05] through you. You're not free from life.
[41:07] So it's now becomes semantics. Am I
[41:10] doing it or is life doing it?
[41:14] When you understand that what we're
[41:15] talking about is not a god in the sky,
[41:18] but it is a god in the in the air
[41:22] that is a a source that is within you.
[41:27] It is flowing through you. It is flowing
[41:29] through everyone. You cannot be free
[41:32] from that.
[41:34] What choices you make is now irrelevant.
[41:38] Do you understand that it is here?
[41:42] And there's a beautiful analogy that I
[41:44] think that works very well is in the
[41:47] ancient
[41:49] wisdom
[41:51] they used the analogy of Krishna playing
[41:56] a flute.
[41:58] You see these beautiful paintings of
[42:00] Lord Krishna and he's playing a flute.
[42:04] What that is an analogy to
[42:07] is that you are the flute.
[42:11] And God is playing through you.
[42:14] Now if the flute asks the question, am I
[42:16] making this music? What would you say?
[42:20] You have no capacity to make this music.
[42:23] The music is flowing through you. We are
[42:27] the flute and Krishna is playing the
[42:29] music through us.
[42:32] So you cannot be free from life. You
[42:35] cannot be free from oneness.
[42:38] But what you do with your choices is
[42:41] something that you have to live with. Do
[42:44] you choose to do good in the world or do
[42:46] you choose to be selfish in the world?
[42:51] Thank you for that question.
[42:58] Hi. So I've came from Delhi to attend
[43:02] the session and you know we blessed with
[43:04] so many guruas there and so many um
[43:08] places to learn there as well. But all
[43:10] my life um you know since childhood
[43:13] we've been taught in a way that you go
[43:16] to gurudara this way.
[43:21] So all my life I didn't learn anything
[43:24] since childhood because it was kind of a
[43:26] fear. Instead of learning we had affair
[43:29] that gara
[43:32] so the same thing now I have a
[43:34] three-year-old boy and I take him to
[43:36] gard and I really want to learn and for
[43:38] that if I'm surrounded with so many
[43:41] places of wisdom so instead of thinking
[43:43] of that we just you know have that kind
[43:45] of a fear that there are a lot of things
[43:47] so what does siki really teach about
[43:50] that it teaches that
[43:53] we should not fear anything in that ways
[43:57] But all these places at times you know
[44:00] now I'm trying to understand what does
[44:03] it really teach whether I should think
[44:05] of it in that way what what should I
[44:07] teach my kid my three-year-old boy
[44:10] regarding that
[44:13] there is no better way
[44:15] for you to really question what you know
[44:18] than when there's a child staring at you
[44:22] and you have to now answer for all the
[44:25] great philosophies that you have to a
[44:27] simple three-year-old,
[44:31] your child
[44:35] becomes your greatest asset
[44:39] because for the first time rather than
[44:42] learning, you become the teacher.
[44:46] You become responsible for what they
[44:48] learn, you become responsible for
[44:50] molding and shaping them.
[44:53] And that's where
[44:55] it forces you to question, do I actually
[44:59] know anything? Have I learned anything?
[45:04] So rather than it becoming a problem
[45:06] that you have a child to teach,
[45:08] recognize that that is your greatest
[45:09] strength.
[45:13] And don't be afraid
[45:15] to say to your child, I don't know the
[45:17] answer to this. Let's go and find out.
[45:22] Let the child be the catalyst for you to
[45:25] genuinely learn
[45:28] rather than just
[45:31] teaching your children the same habits
[45:33] that you were taught, the same
[45:34] tradition, the same practices. And
[45:36] again, I always say it's not about that.
[45:40] I'm not saying don't go to the gura.
[45:42] That's not what I'm saying. I've sat
[45:44] here times and done events and then I've
[45:46] had people call in later and complain
[45:48] and say so Pal Singh said don't do Sava.
[45:52] It's like no that's not what I'm saying.
[45:55] I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying
[45:58] understand the meaning behind it. If you
[46:02] don't understand the meaning behind it,
[46:03] then what are you doing?
[46:06] If you don't understand the meaning
[46:07] behind it, there's a danger that it can
[46:09] grow your ego where you think you're
[46:11] someone special because you're
[46:13] successful in in in the business and
[46:15] you're also spiritual. You say, "Oh, I'm
[46:17] I'm I'm a great combination of both."
[46:21] You know, you can only go to the Golden
[46:24] Temple in India and all these these
[46:25] these religious centers and you see the
[46:27] number of people who are there for their
[46:29] selfies. You know you have to take the
[46:31] standard picture standing there with the
[46:33] side angle and the the gurara there is
[46:35] it catching the light and all those
[46:36] things. How many people are doing that?
[46:40] You know I I was
[46:43] really blown away the last time I went
[46:44] to uh Dilli and we were lucky enough to
[46:48] visit um a mandonder akaram.
[46:52] And what surprised me and delighted me
[46:55] was before you enter the temple, there
[46:58] is a queue where you have to all go and
[47:01] submit your phones and your bags and
[47:03] everything in. There was not a single
[47:05] person in that entire temple that had
[47:07] access to their phone. No selfies. And I
[47:10] thought this is a good template.
[47:13] How many thousands of tourists are
[47:15] pouring into the guras
[47:17] and they're there for the selfies
[47:21] and the gurudara committees? They know
[47:23] this. They know that they're turning
[47:26] their spiritual learning centers into
[47:28] tourist attractions, but they allow it
[47:30] anyway because it keeps money coming in.
[47:35] When you go to the golden temple,
[47:38] it is not uncommon now to stand in a
[47:41] queue for four, five or six hours in
[47:45] order to just go to the central gurug
[47:49] granab gi in the middle and matic.
[47:52] When we did that recently, we we had an
[47:54] opportunity to take our children. We
[47:56] stood in that queue for 4 hours
[47:59] and what I was surprised by was when you
[48:02] get to the front I thought that there's
[48:04] not going to be any space to sit down.
[48:07] It's going to be packed inside. To my
[48:10] surprise
[48:12] the 4 hours queue of people coming in
[48:15] that many people also left. There was
[48:17] plenty of space to sit down inside.
[48:20] Why are people standing in a queue for
[48:22] four hours
[48:25] to matic? What?
[48:27] Like there's some special gurug grans in
[48:29] the middle. When you're standing in the
[48:32] queue, you have to go past 10 other
[48:34] gurrans which are in the the the
[48:37] perimeter of the golden temple. Do you
[48:40] think that there's some special one
[48:41] inside that's going to give you
[48:42] something extra? This has become idol
[48:45] worship. going and mataking to gurug
[48:48] granite gi has become idol worship and
[48:50] you see that in the heart of the sik
[48:53] tradition where the golden temple is
[48:55] people are going to matate in front of
[48:58] the gurug grans that's inside the golden
[49:00] building like that is the place that's
[49:02] another place that's going to
[49:05] solve their problems
[49:08] the problem doesn't come doesn't get
[49:10] solved in your life because you go and
[49:12] you you bow down to this idol the
[49:14] problem is solved by you learning what
[49:16] was there by you reading the wisdom.
[49:20] The reason we started the work that we
[49:23] do was because we noticed that people
[49:25] weren't able to access the teachings. So
[49:29] the gur became another place of idol
[49:32] worship.
[49:34] I've often thought that you could run a
[49:37] gur dora without a guru gransab and
[49:39] still 90% of people would just turn up
[49:41] and matic and go have lunger and leave
[49:43] because they're not there for the
[49:45] wisdom. They're there for the the good
[49:48] luck charm. If I go and matic there and
[49:51] I go to this mandr and I go to this
[49:53] mosque and I go pray in the church then
[49:55] one of them is going to work.
[49:58] They're just
[50:00] covering all of their bases.
[50:04] But this is not what Gurun Nanaki came
[50:07] to teach. In fact, he was actively
[50:10] teaching you against this idol worship
[50:12] of just coming here and thinking of this
[50:15] as some sort of sacred place that is
[50:16] going to solve your problems. This is
[50:18] not another yatra for you. This is not
[50:20] another tat for you.
[50:23] If you want to go on a spiritual
[50:24] journey, it happens within your mind.
[50:26] That is the where you have to go.
[50:30] A recent study has shown that over 75%
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[51:14] Following on from that question,
[51:16] somebody did already ask about idol and
[51:18] idol worship. Uh how it seems that we
[51:21] bow down to gurug grans gi similar to
[51:23] how idols are woripped. Uh they also
[51:25] asked I've heard that it is written in
[51:28] sirugur grans gi that we should not have
[51:30] photos of any guru images. If this is
[51:32] true why are why are they in most
[51:34] guruas?
[51:37] >> I don't believe there's anywhere in gur
[51:38] grans gi that it is written that you're
[51:40] not supposed to have photos of the
[51:41] gurus. But that has become a very strong
[51:44] tradition within the Sikhs.
[51:47] But it is a new tradition.
[51:50] It is a borrowed tradition.
[51:54] One thing that we do is sometimes we
[51:56] look at other traditions and we just
[51:57] borrow things from them. It's very well
[52:00] known that within the Islamic tradition
[52:02] they say don't have images of the
[52:04] prophet Muhammad. Again that is a new
[52:06] thing. If you go back historically there
[52:08] were also images of the prophet
[52:09] Muhammad. But it's become a tradition
[52:11] now that don't have a picture of the
[52:13] prophet Muhammad because people are
[52:15] going to bow down to it and they're not
[52:16] going to learn anything. It becomes an
[52:18] idol. So the sik saw that and then we've
[52:21] started to do the same thing.
[52:22] Historically if you go there were
[52:23] paintings of the gurus.
[52:26] In fact you go to certain historical
[52:28] guras and there are paintings all over
[52:29] the walls. But it's not for you to go
[52:32] and bow down to those paintings. Even
[52:34] those paintings are depicting scenes in
[52:37] the guru's lives. what you can learn
[52:39] from those things.
[52:41] So it's not written in the guru grans
[52:43] but it is a very strong sort of
[52:45] tradition that has come about which is
[52:47] it is not about the picture of the
[52:49] gurus. There is no photo that is going
[52:51] to solve your problems. The guru is the
[52:54] teachings the guru is the wisdom.
[52:58] The prophet of the sick tradition if you
[53:00] want to call it that is the words
[53:06] that is the teaching that is the guru
[53:07] that is the transformer that is the
[53:09] thing that is going to change your mind
[53:11] and that is for everyone
[53:15] for all people. These teachings are for
[53:18] all people. It is not a teaching to join
[53:21] our club. It is a teaching to change
[53:24] your mind.
[53:26] You use it however you want to use it,
[53:29] learn from it, take it in. So there's a
[53:32] reason why the Sikhs have developed and
[53:35] adopted this tradition of not having any
[53:38] value to to towards paintings is because
[53:42] the real juice is in is in the wisdom.
[53:45] But having said that the guras are full
[53:47] of them. The person asking the question
[53:48] is correct. The gura is full of these
[53:50] paintings.
[53:52] Now I am not so against those paintings.
[53:55] Anyone brought up within the sick
[53:57] tradition I want you to ask yourself
[53:59] this question when you close your eyes
[54:02] and if I say gurun nanak what image
[54:04] comes in your mind? some image comes in
[54:07] your mind. It might not be an accurate
[54:10] image. It might not be a
[54:13] true depiction of what Gurun Nanak
[54:15] looked like. But in reality, when I ask
[54:17] myself this question, I'm like, what if
[54:20] I had no image of what he looked like?
[54:23] What image would come into my mind? I'm
[54:25] okay with that. I'm okay that the image
[54:28] that comes into my mind is just some
[54:29] artist impression. At least some image
[54:32] comes in my mind. I think, oh, at least
[54:33] there was that guru Nanaki. He was, you
[54:36] know, it it's it gives you this warm
[54:38] fuzzy feeling. He's like this kind of
[54:40] cozy, cuddly granddad picture that we've
[54:42] created of him, you know,
[54:45] but I am of the opinion that if somebody
[54:49] were to come to me today and say, "We
[54:51] have found historical, accurate,
[54:55] scientifically proven proof that
[54:58] Gurunanak never existed." It would make
[55:01] no difference to me because I'm not
[55:03] bowing down to a person.
[55:06] Even if you prove to me that Gurunanak
[55:08] never existed, this wisdom is still
[55:10] here. Somebody wrote this. I bow down to
[55:13] the teachings.
[55:17] So for me, if you can
[55:21] change your focus
[55:24] away from the gurus just being this
[55:26] magic person that you stand in front of
[55:28] and pray to and hope that he's going to
[55:29] just solve all your problems. It's like
[55:32] going to a classroom and hoping that
[55:36] just standing in front of the teacher is
[55:38] going to be enough.
[55:40] And the teacher says, "No, don't just
[55:41] stand in front of me. Don't bow to me.
[55:43] Sit down. Learn learn what I have to
[55:46] teach you. The only thing that makes you
[55:49] a teacher is the fact that you are
[55:50] sitting there learning what I have to
[55:51] say. If you just bow to the teacher, if
[55:54] you just give the teacher an apple every
[55:56] day, if you have a picture of the
[55:57] teacher in your home, none of that is
[55:59] going to do anything for you.
[56:03] The the teachings is what the teacher
[56:05] wants you to learn.
[56:08] And I think that to me has become my my
[56:12] most treasured possession within this
[56:15] spiritual tradition is we have access to
[56:17] the teachings and these teachings are
[56:21] sublime.
[56:22] These teachings genuinely are what they
[56:25] say they are. In the UK we have a phrase
[56:28] that it it it does exactly what it says
[56:30] on the tin.
[56:33] The teachings are called the
[56:35] enlightener. The thing that t is takes
[56:38] you from darkness to light. The guru
[56:42] g meaning darkness, ru meaning light.
[56:45] This genuinely is the transformer. It
[56:48] transforms your mind from your own
[56:50] ignorance to your own enlightenment. It
[56:53] it does what it says it's going to do.
[56:55] It transforms.
[56:57] The wisdom when it goes into you
[57:00] genuinely changes your life. Do that. No
[57:04] other photo, no other idol, nothing else
[57:07] is going to do that for you.
[57:10] >> There is a beautiful shepherd that says
[57:13] guri murat man.
[57:17] Now listening to that you would think oh
[57:19] the guru's mur the guru's morti the
[57:21] guru's root the guru's form
[57:24] I should meditate on that in my mind
[57:27] and so that implies oh should I be
[57:30] worshiping the form of the guru but the
[57:32] next line is shabam
[57:37] what is the guru it's the shabud it's
[57:40] the wisdom and the mantra of that is
[57:42] what you need to embed in your mind it's
[57:45] not the form of the guru. So we don't
[57:47] worship the guru as an idol. Even when
[57:50] guradi is passed in bani, it's mahala
[57:53] bella, mahala, mahala banja. It's the
[57:56] same j the same form that's being passed
[57:58] on. It's not about their body and their
[58:00] individual form.
[58:08] Sorry just I was going to add to that
[58:09] and just say
[58:11] when we go to the gurara and we bow down
[58:14] to Gurug gran gi we are only bowing down
[58:18] to the wisdom in there. If you had the
[58:20] identical volume the identical
[58:24] book and it didn't have the words in
[58:26] there it means nothing to us. So it's
[58:29] different to an idol where it's been
[58:32] carved into the shape of something in
[58:34] particular. We're not worshiping the
[58:37] physical form of what's there. What
[58:39] we're worshiping is the wisdom, the bi
[58:41] that's in there.
[58:43] >> Hi. Um firstly I just want to say thank
[58:46] you so much for giving us access to our
[58:48] guru's teachings in a way that we can
[58:51] understand and really relate. It's
[58:53] really really appreciated from all of
[58:55] us. Um, I know we've touched upon free
[58:58] will and hookum already, but maybe it's
[59:00] just me and I don't understand it, but
[59:03] um, it's a big topic that we're always
[59:06] discussing amongst our family and
[59:07] there's always differing opinions. Um,
[59:10] so I've heard other scholars that say if
[59:13] you take one step towards the guru, the
[59:16] guru will take millions towards you. So
[59:19] what does that really mean? are we
[59:20] genuinely choosing to move towards the
[59:24] guru and or is that also um even the
[59:29] part of hookum as well so I just want to
[59:31] understand like do we have a choice to
[59:34] go towards guru or is that by guru's
[59:36] grace as well thank you
[59:42] see when when we get this question time
[59:44] and time again
[59:47] it's very difficult to know Which answer
[59:51] will satisfy you?
[59:54] Which one do you want to hear?
[59:59] Some of you do not want to hear that you
[1:00:04] have zero choice.
[1:00:09] So unless I know you personally,
[1:00:14] it will be very difficult for me to
[1:00:16] answer that question. And that's why no
[1:00:17] matter what I say, it hasn't resonated.
[1:00:22] So the guru uses whatever words it takes
[1:00:28] for you to actually take that step.
[1:00:32] Your question is Guru G, you've told me
[1:00:34] to take this step, but I don't know if
[1:00:36] I'm taking the step or whether the step
[1:00:40] is being taken for me. The guru is
[1:00:43] saying take the step.
[1:00:47] worry about it later. Who took that
[1:00:48] step? Take that step. Go closer. Go
[1:00:53] closer to this teaching. Go more and
[1:00:55] more and more into this teaching. The
[1:00:57] ones who have taken the steps and come
[1:00:59] out the other side, they look back and
[1:01:01] they say, "I realize that I wasn't
[1:01:03] taking any of those steps."
[1:01:07] There's a really beautiful poster. I
[1:01:09] remember when posters were a thing.
[1:01:14] There was a poster of a prayer that
[1:01:17] somebody gave
[1:01:19] and it showed an image of
[1:01:23] footsteps walking in the stand in the
[1:01:26] sand and the words were something to the
[1:01:29] effect of God you have always stood by
[1:01:33] me throughout my life
[1:01:36] but I noticed in the hardest times there
[1:01:39] was only one set of footsteps. Why did
[1:01:42] you abandon me in my hardest times? And
[1:01:45] God replies, when you see one set of
[1:01:48] footsteps in the hardest times of your
[1:01:49] life, that was when I was carrying you.
[1:01:56] So
[1:01:58] that to me was something that really
[1:02:00] stuck with me that even in the hardest
[1:02:03] times you think you're being abandoned,
[1:02:06] but in reality that divine has never
[1:02:08] abandoned you. It's always there.
[1:02:13] I would not wrestle with this question
[1:02:15] of do we have free will or not. It is
[1:02:18] one of those questions which is
[1:02:23] if you if you
[1:02:26] it the question itself can start to
[1:02:29] become a stumbling block.
[1:02:31] The reality you have to ask yourself is
[1:02:34] what do I need to do today? What step do
[1:02:37] I need to take today? Who do I want to
[1:02:40] be?
[1:02:42] and allow whatever answer comes to keep
[1:02:47] pushing you further and further. You
[1:02:50] know deep within you, have I taken all
[1:02:52] the steps that I need to take?
[1:02:55] And that's not a difficult question.
[1:02:57] That's not even a logical question. You
[1:02:58] just ask that question within yourself.
[1:03:00] Have I taken all the steps? What step
[1:03:03] can I take today? And there's always
[1:03:04] going to be another step.
[1:03:06] What I love about that that Shabbad
[1:03:13] take one step towards the guru's
[1:03:15] shelter.
[1:03:17] Go even deeper into the guru's shelter.
[1:03:23] If you take one, the true guru takes
[1:03:26] millions of of steps towards you. What's
[1:03:29] interesting about that is it starts with
[1:03:31] your step.
[1:03:34] Don't worry about the guru steps.
[1:03:37] Take your step. What is your step? And
[1:03:39] every day there should be a step
[1:03:41] forward. Because if you if you don't
[1:03:44] look at that Shabbat correctly, you
[1:03:45] might say, "Oh, I took my one step.
[1:03:47] Guru, I leave the rest to you."
[1:03:50] But I like to see that as what step do I
[1:03:52] need to take today? In fact, right now,
[1:03:56] what step do I need to take? There's
[1:03:58] always one step that you can take
[1:04:00] further knowing that the guru's wisdom
[1:04:03] is there constantly guiding you, pushing
[1:04:05] you, keeping you going further.
[1:04:07] >> Si Pal, I'm so lucky that I've attended
[1:04:11] your session today. I was looking for
[1:04:13] for so long. Thanks goes to my niece
[1:04:16] Suki who sent me your video first time.
[1:04:19] Since then I'm seeing your videos and my
[1:04:22] question is about Ardas. You know in
[1:04:25] gwani it says
[1:04:30] but on the other side they said you
[1:04:32] shouldn't be asking things when you when
[1:04:35] you do her das. So can you explain it
[1:04:37] please?
[1:04:39] >> Thank you.
[1:04:41] >> Whenever we look at gurbani we must
[1:04:44] understand the whole context.
[1:04:47] This line
[1:04:49] that
[1:04:51] no genuine
[1:04:54] Ardas will ever go unanswered has
[1:04:57] nothing to do with the kind of Ardas
[1:04:59] that you and me tend to do.
[1:05:03] It says janaki ardas the servant of whom
[1:05:08] the guru's servant
[1:05:12] if you were to translate it to everyday
[1:05:14] meaning
[1:05:16] the teacher will never turn away the
[1:05:19] student
[1:05:21] but if the student goes and asks for a
[1:05:23] Ferrari what can the teacher do
[1:05:27] the line is correct the teacher will
[1:05:29] never turn away the student any genuine
[1:05:32] human request from the student, the
[1:05:34] teacher will have to answer it. But not
[1:05:36] if the student is asking for something
[1:05:38] that the teacher doesn't do. The kinds
[1:05:40] of prayers that we do are all for
[1:05:43] material worldly things.
[1:05:46] I want good health for my family. I want
[1:05:49] my child to pass their exams. I want my
[1:05:52] my my
[1:05:54] son to get a promotion. I want them to
[1:05:57] be married. I want my my my my my my my
[1:06:00] children to have grandchildren.
[1:06:03] What are we asking for? And then we
[1:06:05] think that when we go to the temple and
[1:06:07] we ask with a real honest heart and
[1:06:09] we're really pure and we're really
[1:06:10] genuine, mahaj, please give this to us.
[1:06:13] The guru is saying you haven't listened
[1:06:15] to a word I said. I told you happiness
[1:06:18] doesn't come from these things. I told
[1:06:20] you that these things are immaterial.
[1:06:24] If the guru spends the whole time and
[1:06:28] effort, if the teacher is teaching you
[1:06:30] about how to detach yourself from maya,
[1:06:32] from materialism and then you go and
[1:06:35] pray and ask for materialism, what can
[1:06:36] the teacher do?
[1:06:40] The only ardas is to learn the wisdom
[1:06:44] and to accept the wisdom.
[1:06:47] Gurbani also says
[1:06:57] All beings are under your control.
[1:07:00] My only prayer is that I accept your
[1:07:04] divine will.
[1:07:06] It says
[1:07:09] Gurbani says Gurunanak only has one
[1:07:11] ardas is to remember your divine will.
[1:07:16] So, whatever you do, I want to be okay
[1:07:20] with whatever life does. This is my
[1:07:22] prayer.
[1:07:24] His prayer is to accept the divine will
[1:07:27] is to accept the reality of this moment.
[1:07:30] If you learn to accept the reality of
[1:07:31] this moment, you would not dare to go
[1:07:33] and do ardas for anything.
[1:07:36] But we haven't learned those lessons.
[1:07:39] Even though the teacher is saying it day
[1:07:40] in day out, day in day out, except
[1:07:42] reality, accept the will.
[1:07:47] Every time you pray, what you're really
[1:07:49] saying is, "I don't want the reality.
[1:07:52] I've got my own idea. Let me tell you
[1:07:54] what I want you to give me."
[1:07:57] We've turned prayer into Aladdin and his
[1:08:02] magic genie.
[1:08:05] You know, Aladdin has a magic lamp and
[1:08:07] he rubs the lamp and the genie says,
[1:08:08] "Your wish is my command."
[1:08:12] That's what we're doing when we're
[1:08:13] doing. We think God is standing there
[1:08:15] waiting to hear what we want.
[1:08:19] There is no genie in the cloud that's
[1:08:21] here to give you anything. Life is going
[1:08:23] to give you what life is going to give
[1:08:25] you. The only prayer should be can I
[1:08:28] accept whatever life throws at me. That
[1:08:30] is that is the wisdom. That is the
[1:08:32] teaching. Stop asking for worldly
[1:08:35] things. Your prayers are going
[1:08:36] unanswered.
[1:08:39] You know, if you go and you pray and and
[1:08:41] the problem is that we we have a a
[1:08:43] society where you have so-called ss and
[1:08:46] babas who are not teaching you this
[1:08:48] wisdom. They're coming up to you and
[1:08:50] they're saying, "Oh, you want a son?
[1:08:52] Come to me. Pay me a certain amount and
[1:08:55] I'll do some special prayers and I'll
[1:08:57] give you a son."
[1:08:59] Guess what? They have a 5050% chance of
[1:09:01] of being right.
[1:09:04] If you get a son, they tell you, "Yes, I
[1:09:06] did that."
[1:09:08] And if you don't get a son, they say,
[1:09:09] "Come back next time. [laughter]
[1:09:11] Try again."
[1:09:14] You have people who are fooling you
[1:09:17] because it keeps money flowing.
[1:09:20] The guru is not here to fool you. The
[1:09:22] guru is not here to sugarcoat things.
[1:09:24] The guru is here to give you truth. This
[1:09:26] wisdom here is about truth. True for all
[1:09:29] human beings. And the truth is life has
[1:09:32] its ups and its downs. There are things
[1:09:34] that are going to come into our lives
[1:09:36] and there are things that are going to
[1:09:37] be taken away from our lives. You can't
[1:09:39] pray away any of this stuff. This is the
[1:09:41] reality of life. The only prayer should
[1:09:44] be can I be in alignment with this? Can
[1:09:47] I be okay no matter what life throws at
[1:09:50] me. I think that should be the ardas. I
[1:09:53] think that is what Gurbani is trying to
[1:09:54] teach us.
[1:09:58] [music]
