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Inspiration

How to Get Back on Track in 52 Days: A Practical Reset

Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
Nov 5, 2026
9 Min. Lesezeit

Von Mel Robbins

Ansehen · 7

Dr. Eric Thomas, the motivational speaker known as "ET the Hip Hop Preacher," built a 52-day challenge out of a bad year: a stretch when he watched people he cared about, and himself, lose hope. On the Mel Robbins podcast, he lays out the story behind the number, a Bible story about a broken wall rebuilt in less time than anyone expected, and explains why he tested the program on his own body before asking anyone else to take it on. The conversation is not a call to grind harder or reinvent your life by New Year's. It is a case for picking one area that has slipped, returning to a version of yourself you already know how to be, and letting progress come in daily units small enough to keep doing.

Lesen · 7 Abschnitte

Where did the 52-day idea come from?

Thomas starts with the mood of the moment. He describes a tough year where people, particularly in blue-collar communities like the one he lives in around Michigan, felt squeezed by the economy, gas prices, and groceries, and where people "weren't where they were used to being." His concern was less about money than about what happens when hope drains out of a person. In his words, "When people start to lose hope and people start to lose faith, they become an uglier version of themselves and they start behaving in a way that's just not healthy and they can't get to their expected outcomes."

He was praying over what to say to them when a friend, Linton, who runs a prayer group, brought up Nehemiah. In the story Thomas recounts, a wall around the city had been torn down for roughly 140 years, and it was rebuilt in 52 days. For Thomas, the number landed hard. People had been struggling for what felt like 365 days a year, and he wanted a frame that made the work feel possible rather than impossible.

What struck him most was the feedback he got once he started sharing it. People told him this was the first time he had made something feel easy. Thomas is known for the grind, the early mornings, and the no-excuses message. This challenge asked for something different. As he put it, "I'm not asking you to get to a place you've never been. I'm just asking you to get back to your best self."

Why focus on getting back instead of going further?

This is the reframe that makes the whole program work, and it is worth sitting with. Most resets begin with a diagnosis of what is missing and a plan to reach something new. Thomas asks people to look backward, to the version of themselves that woke up excited about family, opportunity, and life. He names specific periods, pointing to whatever that was for you "in 1990, 2001, 2005." The bet is that a remembered baseline is easier to return to than an imagined summit is to climb.

The time frame matters too. He rejected seven days and fourteen days in favor of 52, arguing that the goal was to "take our time" and "whatever you can do, just do that." Then he gave the instruction that anchors the whole approach: "Don't focus on the 140 years where the wall's been down. Let's focus one day at a time." The past is real, but it is not the unit of work. The day is.

Thomas also draws a clear order of operations. Hope first, then direction. "Let's get our hope back. Let's get our dream back. Let's get clarity back. Let's get a sense of direction back." Only after those return does the bigger project make sense. That sequencing is the part many people skip when they try to overhaul everything at once.

How do you pick the one area that needs attention?

Thomas tested the framework on himself first, and his method for choosing a focus area is one of the most transferable ideas in the episode. He looked at his life as five pillars. In his assessment, four were strong, and one was the problem. He says he was "dominating" four of them and had lost ground on the fifth. The move was to take the discipline he already applied in the four strong areas and carry it into the weak one.

For him, the weak pillar was health. He is clear that it was not about vanity or a single number on the scale. He had a goal of losing 20-something pounds, aiming to return to roughly 215, but the stakes he named were medical: pre-diabetes, pre-hypertension, and mild sleep apnea. He describes the moment of realization, when he asked himself how he had gotten there. The book he wrote, Greatness Is Upon You, had a photo of a man in better shape, and he admits he had not been that man in four or five years, and kept telling himself he never would be again. Then one day he decided that he owed himself the return.

The lesson for a listener is to name the area that is quietly failing, the one you avoid looking at, and to ask whether you already have skills that work elsewhere in your life. Thomas's bet is that you do. The discipline that carried your career or your relationships can be aimed at the thing that has slipped.

What does a daily action look like when you are exhausted?

The 52-day structure is built around small, repeatable actions rather than heroic gestures. Thomas's framing throughout the conversation is that you do not need to change your entire life to change its direction. You need a daily action realistic enough to repeat, and enough consistency to see where you are headed.

Mel Robbins's opening exchange with Thomas gets at the emotional side of this. She asks what to say to someone who feels exhausted, discouraged, and ready for the year to end. The answer he gives in the cold open is blunt and encouraging: "You have more control than you think you have." He also offers a reframe about what success is for: "Life is not about proving they're wrong. Life is about making things right for you." That shift, from proving others wrong to making your own life right, removes a lot of the fuel that burns people out.

For the moments when the work doesn't feel like it's paying off, Thomas returns to the idea of keeping a sense of direction even while results lag. The goal is not to feel like a hero every day. It is to show up to the next day's small task, and trust that the cumulative effect is real even when you can't see it yet.

Why does a reset need to begin with honesty about the past?

Thomas does not present himself as someone who arrived at discipline by accident. He is candid about a rough beginning. In the conversation he describes trouble with the law, a stolen car, and a McDonald's run in his youth, and he describes his mother's concern. He says he eventually realized where the path he was on was leading and had to ask how he'd gotten there. That question, asked honestly, is the same one he asks about his health.

This matters for anyone trying to get back on track. The point is not to beat yourself up over the excuses you have made. It is to recognize them clearly enough to stop feeding them. Thomas frames this as an honest look at what you are telling yourself, followed by a decision to stop relying on those stories. A reset starts with that candor rather than with a fresh set of promises.

What is the question to ask when you want to quit?

Near the end of the conversation Thomas makes a point about the moments when you feel like giving up, and he treats quitting as something to examine rather than obey. His advice runs through a simple test: what can you actually control today? That question moves attention from the outcome you cannot guarantee to the action you can take. It is the same move as "one day at a time." When the full distance feels impossible, the only task on the table is the one in front of you.

He closes on the idea that a reset is a personal decision and not a performance. "I hope it helps you do that," he says, as the episode winds toward its final lines, meaning the decision to get back to your best self and start.

Where to go from here

If you want to act on this conversation, start with the framework rather than the number. Look at your life as a set of areas, and identify the one that has slipped and needs your attention. Write down the version of yourself you want to return to, and name a period when you felt that way. Choose one daily action that is small enough that you would do it on a bad day. Then commit to a window, whether that is Thomas's 52 days or a shorter cycle you can actually finish, and count days rather than years.

Watch the full episode for Thomas's own telling of the Nehemiah story, his account of testing the challenge on his health, and the exchanges with Mel Robbins that fill in the emotional arc. Pay close attention to the parts where he talks about control and about the excuses people make, since those are where the practical value sits. The 52-day idea is simple. The harder work is choosing the one thing to return to, and then showing up for it the next day.

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Transcript

[0:00] In 52 days, everything could change.

[0:04] >> Today on the Mel Robbins podcast,

[0:06] [music]

[0:07] the one, the only Dr. Eric Thomas.

[0:11] >> You have [music] more control

[0:14] than you think you have.

[0:15] >> For somebody who's feeling exhausted,

[0:17] [music] discouraged, they just want the

[0:19] year to be over, what do you want to say

[0:21] to that person?

[0:22] >> You are the greatest common denominator.

[0:26] Life is not about proving they're wrong.

[0:28] Life is about making things right for

[0:30] you. I'm daring somebody today to let

[0:33] the best version of you take over. 52

[0:35] days. Isn't it exciting? Let's go.

[0:46] >> [music]

[0:49] >> Dr. Eric Thomas, welcome to the Mel

[0:50] Robbins podcast.

[0:51] >> Thank you for having me, Mel. And how

[0:53] you feeling?

[0:54] >> I feel fantastic cuz you're here.

[0:56] >> Thank you. And I feel the same way

[0:58] because you're over there and I'm here.

[0:59] So, thank [laughter] you. Something

[1:01] magical is going to happen.

[1:02] >> Magical. Um, you know, you say that you

[1:05] can change your life in 52 days. When

[1:08] this conversation

[1:10] airs, there will be 52 days left this

[1:12] year.

[1:14] I would love to have you explain to the

[1:16] person who is listening right now how

[1:18] much could change about their life in 52

[1:20] days.

[1:20] >> Everything Everything could change. In

[1:23] 52 days, everything could change. And

[1:27] more importantly, everything you want to

[1:29] change can change in 52 days. You can

[1:33] end this year better than you've ever

[1:36] ended a year, and you could start the

[1:39] new year better than you started any

[1:41] year. It's up to you. You have the

[1:44] power. You literally have control. I'm

[1:47] telling you everything you want,

[1:49] everything you want to be, everything

[1:51] you want to do can happen in 52 days.

[1:55] So, do me a huge favor. You got to

[1:57] finish strong, all right? So, we got 52

[2:01] days to make the rest of our lives the

[2:04] best of our lives. 52 days.

[2:07] ISN'T THAT EXCITING? LET'S GO.

[2:09] >> I think it's really exciting because

[2:11] even if you're listening to this, you

[2:13] know, in the future, you can take on

[2:16] you're going to teach us how to do this

[2:18] a 52-day challenge. Now, tell me the

[2:20] origin of 52 days for you.

[2:23] >> This was a tough year for a lot of

[2:24] people.

[2:25] >> Yeah.

[2:25] >> This was a tough year. You know, this

[2:27] was one of those years where, you know,

[2:29] people just felt that they were their

[2:31] best self. They didn't feel, you know,

[2:33] their community, the gas prices, the

[2:35] groceries. Like, this was just a tough

[2:37] and you got to understand, I'm in

[2:39] Michigan. So, Michigan is like blue

[2:41] collar. You know, this is blue collar.

[2:43] It's like people rely on um the

[2:47] industry. It just was a tough year.

[2:49] People weren't where they were used to

[2:50] being. I said to myself, "Okay, you got

[2:53] to help them. You know, you got you got

[2:56] to give them hope." Right? Because when

[2:58] people start to lose hope and people

[2:59] start to lose faith, they become an

[3:02] uglier version of themselves and they

[3:04] start behaving in a way that's just not

[3:06] healthy and they can't get to their

[3:08] expected outcomes. And so, I was just

[3:10] sitting there and I was just praying. I

[3:11] was like, "Okay, okay, what story can I

[3:12] tell?" And I remember my boy Linton, he

[3:15] ran a prayer group and in the prayer

[3:17] group, he talked about Nehemiah and how

[3:20] in that particular time of that region,

[3:22] the the wall was torn down for like a

[3:23] hundred and something years, 140 years.

[3:26] And they rebuilt it in 52 days. And I

[3:28] was like, "Yo, I need that story right

[3:29] now." because people have been going

[3:31] through it 365 days or however many days

[3:33] they've been going through it. And I was

[3:34] like, "Yo, what can I say?" And you know

[3:37] what was so crazy? This is the first

[3:38] time and people said to me, "Eric, you

[3:40] have never done anything before where

[3:43] you made it easy for us.

[3:45] Like, you've never done that. That That

[3:46] was like, "This isn't you." Like, you're

[3:48] the grind. You're the get up, don't

[3:50] sleep guy. This is the very first time

[3:52] you ever told us

[3:54] where I'm not asking you to get to a

[3:56] place you've never been. I'm just asking

[3:58] you to get back to your best self. Like,

[4:00] whatever that was in 1990, 2001, 2005.

[4:05] Like I just want you to get back to the

[4:07] time where you woke up and you were

[4:08] excited about life. That you were

[4:10] excited about your family, you're

[4:11] excited about your your opportunity. And

[4:14] so I was like, let's just get back to

[4:15] that and and let's let's do it in 52

[4:16] days. Let's not try to do it in 7 days,

[4:18] let's not try to do it in 14 days. Let's

[4:20] do it Let's do it in 52 days. Take our

[4:22] time. Whatever you can do, just do that.

[4:24] And when I started telling people to do

[4:26] it and I started to see people light up

[4:28] and I started to hope coming back and

[4:30] the joy coming back. I was like, that's

[4:31] it. Don't focus on the 140 years where

[4:35] the wall's been down. Let's focus one

[4:37] day at a time that by the end of these

[4:39] 52 days, less than 2 months, we can feel

[4:42] good again. And then once we feel good,

[4:44] then we can go after it. What What Once

[4:46] there's hope, then we got But let's not

[4:48] try to tackle everything at one time.

[4:50] Let's just get our hope back. Let's get

[4:51] our dream back. Let's get clarity back.

[4:53] Let's get a sense of direction back.

[4:55] >> Well, you know, I'm so excited to talk

[4:57] to you because you are one of the most

[4:59] inspiring

[5:01] and empowering. You are like human

[5:05] rocket fuel.

[5:06] And it's infectious. And when I thought

[5:09] about when this episode was going to

[5:11] release,

[5:13] I looked at the calendar and I was like,

[5:15] wow, when we're dropping this episode,

[5:16] there's 52 days left in the year.

[5:19] >> Wow.

[5:20] >> And so our amazing producer Amy, who is

[5:23] working on this episode Yeah, amazing

[5:25] Amy, called you and said, okay, I want

[5:28] to get you in the mindset, Dr. Thomas,

[5:30] that there's going to be 52 days left in

[5:32] the year when this episode goes live and

[5:34] you're like, wait a minute, 52. Are you

[5:36] kidding me with the 52? But 52 has a

[5:38] personal meaning for you. So explain why

[5:41] 52 matters.

[5:42] >> Well, first of all, 52 matters because I

[5:43] just did it.

[5:44] >> What do you mean you just did it?

[5:45] >> I just went through a 52-day

[5:49] personal challenge. Now, I'll be honest,

[5:52] I did a 52-day challenge with everybody

[5:55] in my ecosystem, but before

[5:59] I asked them to do 52, I did 52. And I

[6:02] did 52 do I looked at my life and I said

[6:05] of the five pillars, four of them you're

[6:07] dominating but one you suck in. One you

[6:11] you you've lost. One is embarrassing.

[6:15] And so I said E, you got to take the

[6:17] principles from the other four and you

[6:18] got to bring that you got to bring that

[6:20] fifth one up. And so for 52 days mine

[6:23] was health. Now we'll talk about weight

[6:25] but it really wasn't about losing 30 lb.

[6:28] It was about

[6:30] pre-diabetes. It was about

[6:32] pre-hypertension. It was about mild

[6:35] sleep apnea. It was like E, where how

[6:37] could this happen to you? How did you

[6:40] get here? I woke up one day Mel was like

[6:42] E T? Like how did you get here? You

[6:45] wouldn't think Eric come on the hip hop

[6:47] preacher. And so it was an area where I

[6:50] was failing, where I was losing and I

[6:53] shouldn't be losing. And I was like you

[6:55] got to do something about it. And I

[6:56] decided before I brought the community

[6:59] in, I decided that Eric, you need to do

[7:01] it first to see if it really works.

[7:03] >> So let's go right to what happened

[7:06] because you and your wife Deidra had

[7:08] something to do with this but I want you

[7:10] to share for the person listening kind

[7:12] of that moment where you're like, oh my

[7:14] god, like this weight's embarrassing.

[7:17] >> I started with a goal that I was going

[7:19] to lose 20 something pounds and I was

[7:21] going to get well it was about 25 30 and

[7:24] I was like I got to get back to that

[7:25] like 215. And it was funny I was the

[7:28] book Greatness Is Upon You that I I

[7:30] wrote I looked at the book and I looked

[7:31] at that guy and I was like I had like

[7:33] the weight that that guy I liked the

[7:35] size of that guy but I hadn't been him

[7:37] in four or five years and I just kept

[7:39] saying to myself he's you're never going

[7:41] to get back to that. You're never going

[7:42] to get back to that. And one day I woke

[7:44] up this year and I said, you know what?

[7:46] You owe it to yourself to get back. And

[7:48] here's the cool thing about the 52 days.

[7:51] I wasn't trying to do something that I

[7:53] had never done before. I was just trying

[7:55] to get back to the best that I've ever

[7:58] been before. That and and that was

[8:00] different for me because before it was

[8:01] like, you know, I you know, work hard

[8:03] and grind and I was like no E, don't do

[8:05] that. Just get back to the best version

[8:07] you've ever been. And I was like 215

[8:09] lbs. And so I made a commitment to

[8:11] myself in 52 days I'm going to make the

[8:15] sacrifice. I'm going to make the

[8:17] commitment and I'm going to get back to

[8:18] that guy. And I remember the first 10

[8:21] days, uh my boy is like, "Get on the

[8:23] scale." I said, "I'm not." He said, "Get

[8:25] on the scale." I said, "No." He said,

[8:27] "Why won't you get on the scale?" I

[8:28] said, "Cuz I don't want to see if it's

[8:30] working or not."

[8:31] I I because if I get on the scale and

[8:33] I'm not where I want to be, I'm I'm I'm

[8:35] going to stop. I'm going to be

[8:36] discouraged. I'm going to quit. He said,

[8:37] "No, get on the scale." And I got on the

[8:40] scale and I had only lost 3 lbs and like

[8:42] 10

[8:44] days, 14 days. And it was like, "No, no,

[8:45] no, no, no, no."

[8:46] "E, you can do it, but whatever you're

[8:48] doing is not working." And I'm telling

[8:50] you, I changed my diet, I changed my

[8:51] mindset, I got on the treadmill, I was

[8:54] doing resistance, I was in the sauna.

[8:57] And in 52 days, and it was so funny,

[9:00] man. I remember the the the uh the suit

[9:03] that I wore when me and DD did our 21st

[9:06] year uh vow renewal. And I put it on,

[9:09] couldn't fit it. Couldn't put it on,

[9:10] couldn't fit it. Every day I would put

[9:11] it on. And then one day I could button

[9:13] it. And then one day I could button it

[9:15] with a shirt on. And then one day it

[9:18] fit. And then one day I had room. So I'm

[9:19] saying, in 52 days, if you make the

[9:22] commitment, you can change. And so for

[9:24] me, it wasn't about anything but getting

[9:26] back to my best self. So I did it. I

[9:29] lost the weight, I put the clothes back

[9:31] on, I started grabbing outfits that I

[9:33] couldn't wear in three or four years.

[9:35] And it just felt so good to make a

[9:37] commitment to myself and keep it. I've

[9:39] done it before. I've made a promise to

[9:41] myself before that I didn't keep. This

[9:43] was the first time that I made the

[9:45] promise and I kept the promise. I don't

[9:46] know if it was the weight or if it was

[9:49] the promise I kept to myself. But in 52

[9:51] days, I got back in that large uh when

[9:54] you want to succeed as bad as you want

[9:55] to breathe shirt, and it felt

[9:57] phenomenal. And let me tell you what was

[9:58] the most exciting thing, rewarding thing

[10:01] about the 52 days. My mother called me

[10:03] every day and was like, "Son, I'm doing

[10:05] the 52-day challenge."

[10:07] And my mother was having this like

[10:09] overthinking thing. You know, my mother

[10:11] was in a funk, you know, my mother

[10:14] wasn't like her best self, like the

[10:15] mother that I knew growing up working at

[10:18] Ford and you know, doing her thing and

[10:20] and my mom called me and was like, "Son,

[10:22] I got it, son." She like had a aha

[10:24] moment. So, for me it was like, "Yo, I

[10:25] changed in the 52 days, but my mom like

[10:28] my mom knows me inside and out." Like

[10:30] it's nothing I can say to my mom that's

[10:31] going to be like, "Oh, that's

[10:32] inspirational. Oh, that's I've never

[10:34] heard you say that before." But the 52

[10:35] days she said, "Son, you gave me a North

[10:37] Star."

[10:39] Like I I for whatever reason I retired

[10:41] and I didn't have a North Star. I I

[10:43] wasn't waking up with a sense of

[10:45] purpose. I I did My mom said I lost my

[10:47] identity and these 52 days gave me

[10:50] something to wake up for, something to

[10:53] go get, something to go to bed at night

[10:56] for. And not only can we end strong, we

[10:58] can actually start 2027

[11:01] in a way that we've never started a year

[11:02] before.

[11:03] >> That's so true and there are seven

[11:05] >> Yeah.

[11:05] >> 52-day blocks in a year.

[11:08] >> Now, stop and think about how crazy that

[11:09] is because there's seven days in a week.

[11:11] >> Yes.

[11:12] >> There's 52 weeks in a year.

[11:14] >> Yes.

[11:14] >> And there's seven of those blocks

[11:17] in the year.

[11:18] >> So, no matter when you're hearing this,

[11:21] there is an opportunity for you to

[11:24] experience a whole different version of

[11:26] you

[11:27] >> in a matter of 52 days.

[11:30] >> And so, I'm giving you something that I

[11:31] physically did, that my mother did and I

[11:34] know if you do the 52 days, you're going

[11:36] to end this year off feeling so good

[11:38] about yourself. And when you feel good

[11:40] ending a year, you're going to go into

[11:42] the next year in a way you've never gone

[11:44] into a year before.

[11:45] >> We are going to unpack

[11:46] >> Yeah.

[11:46] >> specifically

[11:48] how to set up the 52 days

[11:51] >> for sure. But where I really want to

[11:54] hover for just a minute with you because

[11:56] you said something that struck me. So,

[11:58] for the person that's feeling

[11:59] overwhelmed and exhausted because how

[12:01] could you not with the state of the

[12:02] world? How could you not with the what's

[12:05] going on in your neighborhood? How could

[12:07] you not given that you probably have a

[12:09] family member that's struggling, you

[12:10] might be struggling financially

[12:12] or maybe you're just worried about

[12:13] things. There's so much out of people's

[12:15] control. For somebody who's feeling

[12:17] exhausted, discouraged, they just want

[12:18] the year to be over.

[12:20] What do you want to say to that person

[12:23] about how they're going to feel by the

[12:24] time we end this conversation?

[12:26] >> You know, I I want to say to them

[12:30] you have more control

[12:32] than you think you have.

[12:34] And here here's Okay, so Mel, here's the

[12:36] crazy part about the 52.

[12:38] The crazy part part about the 52 is for

[12:40] the first time in my life I saw

[12:43] while you've lost control in this area.

[12:46] >> Okay.

[12:46] >> There other areas you have control in.

[12:49] Borrow from the areas that you are in

[12:51] control. There were areas in my life

[12:54] that I had not lost control and I needed

[12:56] to borrow

[12:58] >> Mhm.

[12:58] >> from the strategies and the techniques

[13:00] and the skills I was using in areas that

[13:02] was working and bring it over. I'm going

[13:05] to tell you one thing, Mel, that that

[13:06] changed everything for me in terms of

[13:08] like you said, it wasn't about health.

[13:09] It was

[13:10] How did I lose control? When I was in my

[13:12] 20s, I I wasn't going to the doctor and

[13:14] they were saying that. In my 30s, this

[13:16] is new to me. I've never been to the

[13:17] doctor before and the doctor told me

[13:19] that, you know, I I had blood high blood

[13:21] pressure and that I could stroke out.

[13:23] Like I'd never heard I'd never heard

[13:24] that language before. And so at first it

[13:26] was overwhelming until I said to myself

[13:30] from a speaking standpoint, Eric

[13:33] you have control. You're traveling the

[13:35] world. You I was outside the hotel and

[13:37] people was driving around stopping. ET,

[13:39] what are you doing on the street? Says

[13:41] I'm here TO SEE MEL.

[13:42] >> [laughter]

[13:42] >> I I GOT I GOT A PODCAST. AND SO but what

[13:46] I realized was in my health

[13:48] I was not intentional deliberate.

[13:50] >> Mhm.

[13:50] >> I did not have Diddy's on my schedule. I

[13:53] know exactly what time Diddy and I going

[13:54] to meet every day. I know for how long

[13:56] we're going to meet. I know how to get

[13:57] an A from Diddy. I know what a B is. I

[13:59] know what failing is like like I I I

[14:01] know. But in my health I never had

[14:04] working out on the schedule.

[14:06] I never had what are you eating? I never

[14:08] measured what I would eat when I would I

[14:10] I I didn't

[14:11] So so so for me it was no, this is going

[14:14] to be easy. Borrow from an area where

[14:16] you're already great, where you're

[14:18] already conquering, and just bring those

[14:21] same skill sets into a place where

[14:23] you've lost control. And when I start

[14:25] scheduling, when I stop compromising,

[14:27] when I stop negotiating, I said, "Look,

[14:28] you're going to work out every single

[14:29] day. It's not a It's not It's not

[14:31] optional. Like, you're going to get up

[14:33] and you're going to get up at 3:00, 4:00

[14:35] in the morning, and you're going to go

[14:36] get on the treadmill, and you're going

[14:37] to do resistance

[14:38] >> That sounds terrible.

[14:39] >> and you're going to sit in the sauna.

[14:41] Like, you're going to do that. And it's

[14:42] not It's non-negotiable. The same way

[14:44] you watch football every Sunday, the

[14:46] same way you sit down and watch Monday

[14:47] night football, you're going to take

[14:49] your health and you're going to put it

[14:51] in a category, and and you're going to

[14:53] watch it, and you're going to measure

[14:55] it, and then you're going to call your

[14:56] best friends, and you're going to tell

[14:58] them, "Hey, I'm working out today at

[14:59] this time. Call me to see if I really

[15:01] worked out. I'm going to send you

[15:02] pictures." And once I Once I start doing

[15:04] it, I got control back. And no, it

[15:07] wasn't visible until maybe the 48th day,

[15:11] but I got control back, man. As soon as

[15:13] I said, "This is what I'm going to do.

[15:15] I'm not taking no for an answer, and I'm

[15:17] going to conquer in this way." And I'm

[15:19] so excited because I use the same skills

[15:21] that I was using to win over here, I put

[15:24] them where I was losing, and guess what?

[15:26] 52 days later, I start winning again.

[15:28] >> Well, and you can use the skills of

[15:30] getting your kids to daycare on time in

[15:33] order to be on time for yourself. You

[15:35] can, you know, use the skills of taking

[15:37] care of everybody else to start learning

[15:39] how to take care of yourself. And we're

[15:41] going to get to that, but I because the

[15:43] person who's listening may not know the

[15:45] gift

[15:46] >> Yes.

[15:46] >> that is Dr. Eric Thomas.

[15:49] >> Yes.

[15:50] >> When you talk about the fact that you

[15:52] can change your life with a decision,

[15:54] that you can change who you are, you

[15:58] really mean it. And one of the reasons

[16:01] why you mean it is because you yourself

[16:05] have been homeless. You yourself have

[16:07] been discouraged. You yourself have been

[16:10] in a place in life where there's every

[16:12] reason in the world to either quit

[16:15] >> Yeah.

[16:15] >> or to say, "I have screwed this up so

[16:17] much there's no turning back."

[16:18] >> Yeah. Can you put us at the moment that

[16:20] changed your life?

[16:21] >> So I'm going to sound like a weirdo when

[16:23] I say homelessness [snorts]

[16:24] was the best thing that ever happened to

[16:25] me.

[16:26] >> What do you mean by that?

[16:27] >> What I mean by that is before homeless,

[16:30] everybody else was the reason why my

[16:33] life was messed up. Like so I have I had

[16:36] mom like mom was like number one. It's

[16:38] like ma, I can't read, I can't write.

[16:41] Mom, uh um you know, I'm getting in

[16:43] trouble with the law. Mom, everything

[16:45] that's going wrong in my life is because

[16:47] you got pregnant as a teenager.

[16:49] Everything number two was my biological

[16:52] father. I had him right under mom. He

[16:54] probably was number one, but because he

[16:55] wasn't around, I didn't get to blame him

[16:57] as much, but I got to just mom throw

[16:59] darts at mom, make every excuse,

[17:01] everything that ever gone wrong, mom,

[17:03] mom, mom, dad, dad, dad. And and and

[17:06] Mel, this is crazy. I was probably 16,

[17:09] maybe I could have been 17 cuz I was

[17:11] working at McDonald's on Fenkell and

[17:12] Wyoming in Detroit. And uh we got pulled

[17:15] over by the police. It was probably

[17:16] about

[17:18] 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning. My boy had

[17:21] stolen Well, I don't know if you want to

[17:22] call it steal, but he was into some

[17:24] activities where the person didn't pay,

[17:26] and so he kept their vehicle. And so I'm

[17:28] in the car with him, and um we got

[17:30] pulled over by the police. I tried to

[17:32] explain to police I had nothing to do

[17:33] with any of this, nothing to do with the

[17:34] stuff in the car, nothing to do with the

[17:36] stolen car. Like I got on a McDonald's

[17:37] outfit. What do you

[17:39] He didn't believe me, so we went to

[17:40] jail. And it was in jail. I was by

[17:43] myself, and it hit me, Mel, your mom's

[17:46] not in prison

[17:48] or in jail. Your dad's not in jail. Your

[17:50] mom's somewhere going to work. Your

[17:51] dad's somewhere in Chicago going to

[17:53] work. You're You're homeless and you're

[17:56] in jail. And that was the day I realized

[17:59] my mom doesn't know the police officer

[18:01] who pulled me over. The police officer

[18:03] doesn't know my counselor who kicked me

[18:04] out of school. The counselor doesn't

[18:06] know my

[18:07] I I could go And I was like, Eric, who's

[18:09] the common denominator? And I said, Eric

[18:12] Thomas is And so that was the first time

[18:14] I was by myself, and I couldn't point at

[18:17] my mom, and I couldn't point at my dad,

[18:19] and I couldn't point at where I was

[18:20] born. And I couldn't point and it was

[18:22] like, Eric, you know everybody in the

[18:24] story, but everybody in the story

[18:26] doesn't know each other like you are the

[18:28] greatest common denominator. And it was

[18:31] at that point that I realized where your

[18:33] focus goes, your energy flows. Your

[18:35] focus has been on your mom. That's why

[18:37] your life hasn't changed. Your focus has

[18:39] been on your dad. That's why your life

[18:40] hasn't changed. Eric, your focus not

[18:43] needs to be on you. What are your

[18:44] strengths

[18:45] and what are your limitations and how do

[18:48] you fix them? Because again, now you can

[18:51] easily say I'm homeless because it is.

[18:53] You can say every reason why you're in

[18:55] the state you're in. It's not going to

[18:57] get you out of the state. And I was

[18:58] like, Eric, I don't want to be homeless

[19:00] for the rest of my life. I don't want to

[19:01] be 30 homeless. I don't want to be 30

[19:03] broke. I don't want to be 30 in this

[19:05] environment where somebody's putting me

[19:07] and like you know what it feels like

[19:08] that somebody put handcuffs on you. You

[19:10] know what it's like for somebody to put

[19:11] you in the back of a car. You know what

[19:13] it's like to put some put you in jail

[19:15] and you got to eat the food and there's

[19:16] a toilet in the middle. This is the

[19:18] first time in my life. I was like, what

[19:19] did you do? How did you get yourself in

[19:21] this mess? And I heard something say,

[19:24] the same guy that got you in it can get

[19:25] you out of it. He's the same dude.

[19:28] You're okay. Don't it's don't be

[19:30] alarmed. Don't don't don't fear. The guy

[19:33] that got you in this, if his focus

[19:35] changes from mom, dad, the teacher, the

[19:37] school system, if his focus changes to

[19:39] Eric Thomas,

[19:41] you can get yourself out of this. And

[19:43] that was the day that I said, there's

[19:45] nothing I can do about

[19:47] where I am,

[19:48] but if they let me go

[19:50] and I don't know what happened, but my

[19:52] boy said he had nothing to do with the

[19:53] car. He had nothing to do with the

[19:55] substance in here. I just picked him up

[19:57] from and they let me go. And I love my

[19:59] mom cuz they called my mom and my mom

[20:01] said, I'm I'm definitely not bailing him

[20:02] out. I don't go to work every day to

[20:04] bail him out of jail. He's not He

[20:05] shouldn't even be in the situation. He

[20:07] comes from a good home. He shouldn't

[20:08] even be in it.

[20:09] I I don't know what he's going to do,

[20:10] but he's going to have to figure it out.

[20:12] And they let me go two and a half three

[20:13] days later and I walked out of there

[20:16] with no cab fare, no bus fare, but I

[20:19] walked out that day and I said, Eric,

[20:21] you owe you.

[20:22] You owe you to get yourself together and

[20:24] stop making these crazy decisions and

[20:26] stop blaming and being a victim and

[20:29] become a victor.

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[21:31] So let's unpack the blaming thing. So

[21:33] where your focus goes, your energy flows

[21:37] and a lot of people

[21:39] are spending a lot of time blaming,

[21:41] blaming the government, blaming the

[21:43] their past, blaming this, blaming that

[21:45] and look, there's lots of moments in

[21:48] life where someone else or something

[21:50] else is to blame and it's not fair and

[21:53] your point when you say you owe you is

[21:57] what?

[21:57] >> So so

[22:00] and I'm just saying this cuz I know

[22:01] somebody's listening you're like, "Eric,

[22:03] you don't know."

[22:04] And I don't. You're like, "You don't

[22:06] know what they did to me." And I don't.

[22:08] I know what they did to me.

[22:10] But here's the deal.

[22:12] If they were intentionally and

[22:14] deliberately trying to destroy me, I'm

[22:16] not going to give them fuel.

[22:19] So like if that was their whole point

[22:21] like we going to destroy you. Like we

[22:22] going to make sure you're not happy.

[22:24] We're going to make sure you're not

[22:25] successful. If that's what they were

[22:27] attempting to do, I'm not going to aid

[22:29] you in that. So, you're absolutely

[22:31] right. There are certain things that

[22:33] happened to me that should not have

[22:35] happened to me.

[22:36] But, at the end of the day, I've got to

[22:39] do what I need to do to make sure the

[22:41] story doesn't end with me going to jail.

[22:44] The story doesn't end with me being a

[22:45] high school dropout. Yes, you're right.

[22:48] They were wrong. But, life is not about

[22:51] proving they're wrong. Life is about

[22:53] making things right for you. And so, I

[22:55] could go on and on about who's wrong and

[22:57] how I got in the predicament I get in

[22:59] and whose fault it was. But, at the end

[23:01] of the day, I want to hold the power. I

[23:05] want to control my own life. And by

[23:08] making better decisions, I went from GED

[23:10] to PhD, from homeless to to owning real

[23:13] estate. And so, I'm saying to everybody

[23:14] that's out there, you're right. Which

[23:16] side do you want to look at? Do you want

[23:17] to look at the side that they were

[23:18] wrong? And guess what? You would be

[23:21] totally right to say they were wrong.

[23:23] You have every right to say what they

[23:24] did to you. You're right. I'm just

[23:26] saying you're giving them the control

[23:28] when you do that. And I want the power.

[23:30] I want to control. I made up in my mind

[23:33] that is not going to be my reality. So,

[23:34] do me a favor. You're right. You can

[23:36] talk about everything they did wrong, or

[23:38] you can look at your strengths, and you

[23:39] can look at your

[23:40] opportunities, and you can put all your

[23:42] energy in that, and you can sit

[23:44] somewhere different 52 days from now uh

[23:47] 52 weeks from now 52 years from now. You

[23:50] could be in a better state. So, for me,

[23:52] absolutely, they're wrong, but I'm not

[23:54] going to focus on their wrong. I'm going

[23:55] to focus on my right.

[23:56] >> Well, you said something I want to make

[23:58] sure we take a giant highlighter.

[24:00] >> Because you said, "Even if

[24:03] somebody is treating you wrong,

[24:05] >> Yeah.

[24:06] >> I am not going to aid you

[24:08] in that."

[24:09] >> I'm not going to aid you.

[24:09] >> And it sent just a chill down my spine

[24:13] because I think about how much time I

[24:16] wasted

[24:19] being all upset and spending lots of

[24:21] time yep yep yep yep yep talking about

[24:24] how they wronged me and this that and

[24:26] the other. And when you do that,

[24:29] you are aiding them

[24:31] in the power that they have over you.

[24:33] And when you instead just start where

[24:36] you are and you say, you owe you.

[24:39] From this point forward, I can take

[24:41] responsibility and make a decision that

[24:43] where I'm at right now does not define

[24:46] where I'm going.

[24:48] When when you're in a moment in your

[24:50] life where there's so much out of your

[24:51] control,

[24:52] what can you actually control and where

[24:55] do you want the person who feels out of

[24:57] control right now to focus?

[24:59] >> Yeah, I say perspective and decisions.

[25:02] I feel like those two. So so I'm going

[25:03] to be honest.

[25:05] Before I made the change, mail to be to

[25:08] be totally transparent,

[25:11] I didn't want to do the work.

[25:14] >> [laughter]

[25:14] >> I'm

[25:15] Guys, I

[25:16] I'm I owe my mother such an apology. And

[25:18] you know, we talked. My mom said to me,

[25:20] um it's it's it's probably last year.

[25:22] Which you know, you know how it is, man.

[25:24] You open up and you start, you know, you

[25:25] do the therapy and just stuff comes out.

[25:27] My mom was like, "Yo, I was so hurt

[25:30] how how you framed me. Like the picture

[25:34] that you painted of me with everybody."

[25:36] And you know what? I did not want

[25:39] opportunities. I wanted attention. I

[25:41] wanted an audience.

[25:43] >> want opportunities. I wanted attention.

[25:45] >> I I didn't want to change. I didn't want

[25:47] better. I just wanted an audience. I

[25:49] just I just wanted a group of people to

[25:52] understand how much she hurt me.

[25:55] I don't even know if she hurt me the way

[25:56] I thought she hurt me. That's why I say

[25:57] you got to change your perspective. But

[25:59] I felt like she hurt me by not telling

[26:01] me who my biological father was. And I

[26:04] just wanted everybody to be on my side.

[26:06] I didn't want to change. I didn't want

[26:08] to grow. I just wanted everybody to say,

[26:11] "She was wrong and you're right." And as

[26:13] long as I was in that mental state, as

[26:15] long as that was my aim, that was my

[26:17] focus. Again, where your focus goes,

[26:20] your energy flows. So my focus was, she

[26:22] wronged me. My biological father, he

[26:24] wronged me. So nothing changed in my

[26:25] life. Nothing happened for me. No,

[26:27] actually it did. I got what I I

[26:29] I got attention. I didn't want growth. I

[26:31] didn't want change. I didn't want to be

[26:33] better. I just wanted to say, she did

[26:35] it, he did it, and if she didn't do it

[26:37] and he didn't do it, I wouldn't be where

[26:38] I am. And then what when I was in in in

[26:41] in jail and in homeless, homeless was

[26:43] beautiful cuz homeless I got to spend

[26:45] time alone.

[26:46] >> Huh.

[26:46] >> Here's the beautiful thing about

[26:47] homeless. I couldn't say it was my

[26:49] mother's fault anymore. Like I finally

[26:51] had my life in my hands and I kept

[26:54] messing up. I had my I got I got fired

[26:56] from McDonald's. It was the best job I

[26:59] ever had in my life. Now listen to me,

[27:00] McDonald's was great because I worked

[27:02] from 5:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. so I didn't

[27:04] have to have a hotel. I didn't have to

[27:05] have a place to stay. I was one of the

[27:07] best there. It was more than a job. It

[27:10] It was the to stay off the streets, to

[27:12] say I lost my job telling an elderly

[27:15] lady, I'll spit in your food.

[27:17] My manager said to me, Eric, you're the

[27:19] best that I have. I wouldn't I would let

[27:22] it go. I would just tell you don't ever

[27:24] do that again. But the owner told me I

[27:27] had to And when I when he I gave him my

[27:29] my ribbon and I turned in all my stuff

[27:32] and I walked away and I said, your mom

[27:33] didn't do this.

[27:34] Your biological father didn't tell

[27:36] nobody was going to spit in their food.

[27:37] You said you was going to spit in their

[27:38] food. You lost your job cuz of your

[27:40] mouth. You lost your job because you're

[27:42] hurt and you're taking that hurt

[27:44] everywhere you go and it doesn't matter

[27:46] if you go to college, it doesn't matter

[27:48] if you get another job. That hurt shows

[27:50] up everywhere you go and it destroys

[27:52] everything you do and that hurt is not

[27:54] your mother's hurt, it's not your That's

[27:56] your hurt. And so forget the audience.

[27:58] Forget if everybody claps and if

[28:00] everybody affirms you. So first of all,

[28:01] why do you want to be affirmed? Cuz my

[28:02] biological father wasn't in my life.

[28:04] Okay, deal with that. Say it out loud.

[28:06] Talk to your therapist. Your mom got you

[28:08] a therapist. You don't even want to talk

[28:09] to the therapist. Open your mouth and

[28:11] tell the therapist, I'm hurt. It It It

[28:13] It It pains me to see other kids

[28:16] at sporting events with their fathers.

[28:19] It hurts me to go to the parent-teacher

[28:20] conference and they have their

[28:22] biological father. It hurts to see the

[28:24] older males pictures of three

[28:25] generations and you don't have pictures

[28:27] with your biological father. You don't

[28:29] know who your grandpa Just say it hurts.

[28:31] But stop walking around masquerading

[28:33] like you're this tough guy. You're not

[28:34] fighting because you're tough, you're

[28:36] fighting because you're hurt. You're not

[28:38] hard because you you're hard? You're not

[28:41] hard, you're hurt. And so I had to say,

[28:43] "Eric, this has nothing to do with your

[28:46] mom. This pain has nothing to do with

[28:48] your dad. This is you. And you owe you

[28:52] to fix it, to be honest and transparent

[28:55] and fix it." And so 1,000% mail, that

[28:59] that was the thing that that I would say

[29:01] to somebody who's sitting here, you have

[29:03] control. Everything that is ailing you,

[29:06] you can deal with it, you could be

[29:07] transparent, you can get help. Or you

[29:10] can continue to blame. I'm telling you I

[29:12] blamed and it didn't bring me to it I

[29:15] didn't attract the male Robins in the

[29:17] world when I attracted the police

[29:19] officers and other people who weren't

[29:21] who didn't have a north star, who had no

[29:23] clarity, who were hurt.

[29:24] >> You're right. If you're focused on all

[29:26] the excuses, if you're focused on all

[29:28] the reasons, if you're focused on all

[29:29] the hurt in the past, if you're focused

[29:31] on the people that did you wrong,

[29:33] >> you literally attract more of that.

[29:36] >> Absolutely.

[29:36] >> When you focus on making a decision

[29:39] to change yourself because that's the

[29:41] only thing you can control,

[29:44] now your energy is moving in a forward

[29:47] positive direction and it starts to

[29:49] build. Was there a moment when you

[29:53] remember making a decision like this is

[29:56] the turning point? This is I am

[29:59] changing.

[29:59] >> Yeah. I I I remember

[30:02] it has nothing to do with church, but it

[30:04] has everything to do with an individual

[30:07] at church or individuals.

[30:09] And I was fortunate enough to at that

[30:11] time

[30:13] um

[30:14] be in the proximity of Didi who's now

[30:17] was my girlfriend, became my wife. And

[30:19] there were others

[30:20] there who were going to college. And

[30:23] Didi pulled me to the side. This is why

[30:25] proximity is so important.

[30:26] >> Huh.

[30:27] >> And I remember Didi saying, "Hey, I'm

[30:28] going to college. I would love to have

[30:31] you go with me, but if you don't, I'm

[30:34] leaving and I'm never coming back." And

[30:35] so it was the one positive place or

[30:39] thing in my life and I said, "Eric,

[30:41] you've messed everything up. You can't

[30:43] mess this up. Like you have one good

[30:45] thing going for you." And so for me it

[30:47] was just a moment of

[30:49] "Eric, this is the defining moment. You

[30:51] can keep going down the path you're

[30:52] going

[30:53] or you can take the help." And often

[30:56] times, Mel, the first greatest decision

[30:59] we can make is to say, "Help." It's not

[31:01] us doing anything. And that's why people

[31:03] get overwhelmed because they feel like

[31:05] the change that needs to be made, I have

[31:07] to make it. Mel, I didn't get here

[31:10] because I made all the right decisions

[31:11] and make I was with people who made good

[31:14] decisions. I was with people who had

[31:16] hope, who had clarity, who said, "Let us

[31:19] help you." And that was the first

[31:21] decision I made. I said, "Pastor, you

[31:23] know what? You've been talking about

[31:24] GED. You've been talking about night

[31:26] school. How do I sign up? Didi, you've

[31:29] been talking about me going to college

[31:30] and following you. I'm about to go to

[31:31] night school.

[31:32] Uh Bob, you've been talking about

[31:34] getting in this youth program and coming

[31:36] here regularly. You know what? I'm going

[31:38] to take advantage of these three great

[31:40] opportunities and those three turned

[31:41] into six and those six turned into 12

[31:43] and those 12 turned into 24 and then one

[31:46] day I woke up I was on the Mel Robbins

[31:47] podcast. [laughter]

[31:50] Come on, y'all. Come on.

[31:51] >> Well, well, you know what I love about

[31:53] you is first of all you're very lovable.

[31:55] Second, you're extremely smart. Third,

[31:58] you have just a gift with words.

[32:01] And

[32:03] because you've lived it.

[32:04] >> Yes.

[32:05] >> This is not something you've read in a

[32:07] book and you're just like spitting it

[32:09] back. This is the lessons and the truths

[32:12] that you have learned the hard way.

[32:15] And

[32:16] what's interesting is that you know how

[32:19] much work it takes to resist the

[32:22] positive. You know how much work it

[32:24] takes to

[32:26] make excuses and to blame everybody

[32:30] else. And it's kind of surprising when

[32:33] you make a decision that you want your

[32:35] life to feel better

[32:37] how when you're finally ready for that

[32:39] to happen

[32:41] it happens pretty quickly. You know, you

[32:44] say [clears throat] excuses soften the

[32:46] pain.

[32:46] >> Yeah.

[32:48] >> What does that mean?

[32:49] >> Excuses just make you feel so good, but

[32:51] here's the challenge. You still got to

[32:53] get up the next day with the

[32:54] consequences.

[32:56] You still got to get up the next day

[32:57] knowing that you blew it. You know, you

[33:00] still got to get up the next day knowing

[33:02] that nothing changes for you. And so,

[33:05] that's when I started realizing while

[33:07] excuses may feel good,

[33:09] they don't help. And and Mel, I want

[33:12] people to hear me. You got to hear this.

[33:14] The greatest error I've ever made in my

[33:17] life is me deciding to take the hand

[33:20] that was dealt to me

[33:22] and come up with all the negativity in

[33:24] the hand. I never saw the big Joker that

[33:27] was there. I have a gift I've been God

[33:29] gave me a gift. Like I've been speaking

[33:31] before I even knew what I had, I had it.

[33:33] I've always been a people person. I've

[33:36] always loved on people and took care of

[33:37] people. I've always been that person.

[33:39] I'm the oldest in my family. I've always

[33:42] took taken care of my sister. I've

[33:43] already taken care of everybody on the

[33:44] block, but I always looked at what I

[33:46] didn't have. And the day I started

[33:49] looking at that same hand, but seeing

[33:51] what I had and started playing what I

[33:54] had, oh, my whole life changed. I'm

[33:57] sorry, Mel. I said the same mother, the

[33:59] same father. I I didn't grow any taller

[34:02] as you could see.

[34:04] There was a lot like nothing like

[34:05] happened, but I changed what I was

[34:08] looking at and where my focus went.

[34:12] My energy started to go in there. Next

[34:13] thing I know, I'm with Didi. I got my

[34:15] GED. I'm with Didi in college. I married

[34:17] after our freshman year. We have a

[34:19] beautiful family. I started speaking. I

[34:21] become known in the city. I leave, go

[34:23] back to Michigan, get a master's, a PhD.

[34:27] >> [laughter]

[34:27] >> I become ET the Hip Hop Preacher. I just

[34:29] everything changed when one thing

[34:31] changed. I looked at my hand different

[34:33] than I looked at it before.

[34:35] >> Oh, so

[34:38] insanely powerful and true.

[34:40] Cuz if all you do is complain about the

[34:42] hand you've been dealt,

[34:44] >> Yeah.

[34:44] >> you will lose.

[34:45] >> You will lose.

[34:46] >> You will lose. But you can win with any

[34:48] hand.

[34:49] It's all how you play it.

[34:50] >> It's how [laughter] you play it, man.

[34:51] >> It's how you play it.

[34:52] >> Yeah, if you haven't played cards, you

[34:53] know what she's saying.

[34:54] >> if you're from Michigan, you play a lot

[34:55] of [laughter] cards.

[34:56] Yes. And so, that is a huge takeaway. I

[35:01] want you to grab that and stick that in

[35:03] your pocket and start doing that today.

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[36:08] You know,

[36:09] I knew you would convince us that you

[36:12] can change.

[36:14] And I want you to coach me and the

[36:17] person

[36:18] who is listening

[36:20] who is saying to themselves, "All right,

[36:24] Dr. Thomas, you convinced me.

[36:26] I do not want to stay where I am. I do

[36:28] not want to be this version of myself.

[36:30] There are things about my life I've been

[36:32] making excuses around, whether it's the

[36:34] job or the weight or the relationship or

[36:37] whatever it may be.

[36:39] What do we How do we apply this 52-day

[36:41] thing? Like, how do you How do you like

[36:44] pick something that you're going to

[36:45] shift for the positive

[36:47] and actually stick to it?

[36:49] >> So, I would say this first. I would just

[36:50] say, "Whatever you pick, we're going to

[36:52] walk through it."

[36:53] >> Walk me through it. Yes.

[36:54] >> Yeah, but but I I do want you to pick

[36:55] something that you're going to get the

[36:57] greatest return on your investment. So,

[36:59] I don't want you to pick something that,

[37:01] you know, it's going to change, but it's

[37:02] not going to do a lot for you.

[37:04] >> Mhm.

[37:04] >> So, so me

[37:08] changing high blood pressure, that's

[37:10] that's a great return on investment. Me

[37:12] losing 25 lb, great return on

[37:15] investment. Um not snoring, and so Diddy

[37:18] can get some sleep at night, right? Um

[37:20] not eating after 6:00 anymore. I was

[37:22] doing some intermittent fasting, and

[37:24] that was helping the body, right? So,

[37:26] blood pressure down, everything's going

[37:28] to be down. So, I want you to pick

[37:30] something that you can get a return on

[37:32] your investment. But, here's the first

[37:34] step I want you to take.

[37:35] And and nobody this Listen to me. Don't

[37:38] ask anybody because when you start

[37:40] getting people's opinions, it Don't do

[37:41] that. Don't ask anybody for permission.

[37:43] You don't need permission. But, let me

[37:45] tell you what the first thing I did. I

[37:47] took a picture of where I wanted to be,

[37:49] and I put it up.

[37:51] It's the first thing I want you to do.

[37:52] And do me a huge favor. I did not pick,

[37:55] you know, that picture the Michael B.

[37:57] Jordan in Creed 3.

[37:59] >> [laughter]

[38:00] >> Shout out to my boy Michael B. Jordan. I

[38:02] did not pick that picture and put that

[38:03] picture on the wall. I That's not I I

[38:06] just wanted a better uh dad bod.

[38:09] I literally picked the picture that I

[38:11] felt when I spoke

[38:13] in that season was the best version of

[38:16] Eric Thomas at that time. I didn't pick

[38:18] anything that would be overwhelming,

[38:20] that's out of reach. I didn't want to

[38:21] start in the deficit. Don't do that.

[38:23] Don't put $6 million. Don't don't do

[38:26] that.

[38:27] Put, "I don't want to be in debt." 52

[38:29] days later, I want my credit score to go

[38:31] from 559

[38:33] to 600, whatever. First thing I want you

[38:36] to do,

[38:37] where your focus goes, your energy

[38:39] flows. Most of you need a North Star.

[38:41] You just need some clarity in your life.

[38:43] You just need something to go to to to

[38:45] and wake up to. And so, for me it was

[38:47] like, Eric, this is actually

[38:48] embarrassing. To be 242 is actually

[38:51] embarrassing. Like, come on, Eric. To to

[38:53] to be the number one motivational

[38:55] speaker in the world, you know what I'm

[38:56] saying? To write a New York Times

[38:57] best-seller, to be in a blissful

[38:59] marriage, to do Eric, this does not even

[39:02] reflect you. This is embarrassing. Like,

[39:04] the one area in your life So, I would

[39:06] just say to you, pick that area where

[39:08] it's like, you know better than this.

[39:10] It's not bringing you a return. It's It

[39:12] doesn't make you look good. It's not

[39:14] attractive on you. It doesn't feel good.

[39:16] And I'm telling you, putting the shirt

[39:18] on and

[39:19] There would be times I would do a video

[39:21] and I was like, do me a favor. Don't I

[39:23] wouldn't tell them, but I wanted to tell

[39:24] them, don't get a side angle. Like, the

[39:27] gut, you know what I'm saying? Don't

[39:28] just keep straight in front. Like, we

[39:29] just want to say I'm only wearing black

[39:31] all black shirts, right? And I got to a

[39:34] point where it was like, Eric, it's

[39:35] embarrassing at this point. So, I'm

[39:36] saying to you, yes, you know, but I just

[39:39] want you to turn that camera. Just do me

[39:40] a favor. Take the camera, flip it, turn

[39:42] it on you, look at you in the mirror and

[39:44] say, this is embarrassing.

[39:46] I I should be doing better. I know

[39:48] better. This has nothing to do with the

[39:49] the reward on the other side. Let's just

[39:51] start with this not even me. This is not

[39:54] Like, I don't even know how I got I

[39:55] don't know how I got Well, I do know how

[39:57] I got to 242. But, you know what I mean?

[39:59] Like, I don't know how I got to 242.

[40:02] Like, I don't even feel com- Like, I

[40:03] don't like wearing double X. I'm I'm not

[40:05] 6'6. I shouldn't be wearing a double X

[40:07] shirt, right? And so, that's what I

[40:09] would say to you. Look at the area in

[40:11] your life where you're like, I know this

[40:13] is not reflective of me. I know this is

[40:15] not who I am. I know this is not the

[40:17] best of me. Turn that camera on that

[40:19] person

[40:21] and look at that person and say,

[40:24] I'm firing you.

[40:26] You're no longer needed. You're no

[40:27] longer healthy. You're no longer

[40:29] productive. You're no longer needed in

[40:32] my life. You are a menace to where I'm

[40:34] trying to go.

[40:36] No more pink slips. You're out of here.

[40:39] So, that's what I would say. And then,

[40:40] do me a favor. Let's just take Don't

[40:42] even do 24 hours at a time. Don't do

[40:44] that. That's overwhelming. I don't work

[40:46] out 24 hours. I say, Eric, do me a

[40:49] favor. When I first started, I said,

[40:50] "Bro, give me 30 minutes." If you can

[40:52] give me 30 minutes on the treadmill

[40:54] at two speed, two incline, three

[40:57] incline, just give me 15 minutes. Just

[40:59] do enough for your body to like, "Okay,

[41:00] I like this." And put your body in a

[41:03] situation where it's muscle memory.

[41:05] That the first week you do it every day,

[41:07] you do something light, that the second

[41:09] week the body is like, "Are we doing

[41:11] that again?" So, just do me a favor. Put

[41:13] the picture up. I want the picture in

[41:16] your bathroom. I want the picture in

[41:18] your living room. I want the picture on

[41:20] your car. If you If you have a ceiling

[41:22] that you can get to, put the picture on

[41:24] your ceiling, so when you go to sleep at

[41:25] night and wake up, you see it. Like, I

[41:27] want a picture of what you want to be

[41:29] everywhere. I want you to see it

[41:32] everywhere you go. And then, do me a

[41:33] favor. Every day, we're just going to do

[41:35] a little bit, not too much, and then

[41:37] we're going to keep adding to that till

[41:38] 52 days later, you're going to look up

[41:40] and go, "Did I do that?

[41:43] Did I become that?"

[41:44] >> You really believe you can change in 52

[41:46] days?

[41:46] >> do believe you can change your mindset.

[41:49] And once you change your mindset, the

[41:50] results may not all come in 52 days, but

[41:53] the mindset will come in 52 days, and

[41:56] the results always follow the mindset.

[41:58] >> Here's one other thing that struck me as

[42:00] you were talking.

[42:02] When you have the courage

[42:05] to admit that you're embarrassed,

[42:07] you're embarrassed by how you're showing

[42:09] up at work. You're embarrassed by how

[42:11] you're eating. You're embarrassed by how

[42:14] you've let your health go. You're

[42:15] embarrassed. I'll I'll give you the one

[42:16] that I have. I have been so overwhelmed

[42:19] that I feel at times like my stress

[42:24] and feeling frustrated, it feels very

[42:27] similar right now to how I used to feel

[42:30] when I was a young mom.

[42:32] And

[42:33] it is embarrassing to me

[42:35] that my work stress has gotten to me the

[42:39] way that it has. And I can say that

[42:42] because I don't like that. And when you

[42:45] can admit to yourself that there are

[42:46] parts of you, whether it's your

[42:48] jealousy, or maybe your spending is

[42:50] embarrassing. Maybe it's embarrassing

[42:52] that you work really hard and you spend

[42:54] all your money buying stuff or leasing a

[42:56] car cuz you want people to think a

[42:58] certain thing about you, but you're

[43:00] embarrassed that you don't have any

[43:02] savings cuz you're so busy spending it

[43:04] all to prove something to people you

[43:05] don't even care about. When you can

[43:07] admit that,

[43:10] I want you to understand something

[43:11] powerful.

[43:12] The new version of you, the true version

[43:15] of you, actually showed up.

[43:17] That version of you is already in there.

[43:20] That's why you're embarrassed.

[43:22] And now it's about taking on this 52-day

[43:25] challenge

[43:27] of acting like the new version of you,

[43:30] even if it's just for 30 minutes a day.

[43:33] >> Yeah. You

[43:33] >> Yeah, I started a transcendental

[43:35] meditation practice because I had to

[43:36] look into what do I need to learn as a

[43:39] skill

[43:40] to help me manage the very real stress

[43:44] of building a company like this cuz I

[43:47] don't want to take it out of my family.

[43:48] It's embarrassing. I don't want to be

[43:49] upset about stupid things. It's

[43:51] embarrassing.

[43:52] >> Yeah. He he said something powerful.

[43:55] I didn't add that as a part of the

[43:58] steps.

[43:58] >> Yeah.

[43:59] >> But maybe that that maybe that

[44:00] embarrassing inventory is kind of where

[44:03] you start before you even get the

[44:05] picture. It's like, let's do an

[44:06] embarrassing inventory and let's audit

[44:08] all the areas where either I'm

[44:11] embarrassed or I should be embarrassed.

[44:13] [laughter]

[44:14] Cuz maybe maybe like maybe some of the

[44:16] areas you you you're not taking

[44:18] ownership that you actually should be

[44:20] embarrassed.

[44:21] >> It's that simple. Can you give another

[44:23] simple example of a 52-day get-it-done

[44:27] plan? Like, what are some of the daily

[44:29] non-negotiables for you? Like, how

[44:31] you're coaching people through this?

[44:33] >> number one, schedule it.

[44:34] >> Okay.

[44:35] >> Like it for real. If it's not if you

[44:36] don't write it down and you don't give

[44:38] it a time,

[44:39] it's just not going to happen. So, that

[44:41] that's [clears throat] number one. Like

[44:43] actually schedule it. And and okay. Now,

[44:45] Diddy's going to kill me for this one.

[44:47] Diddy's going to kill me for this

[44:48] >> want to get in trouble with Diddy.

[44:49] >> Yeah. Yeah. Diddy's going to kill me for

[44:49] this one.

[44:51] Not only do you need to schedule it, you

[44:53] need to make you a priority. So, here's

[44:56] Diddy's thing, right? And I don't know

[44:57] where Diddy got it from, but she watched

[44:59] too much TV. So, so when we would go on

[45:02] a trip and we would be in the hotel, I

[45:04] wouldn't exercise, Mel, until she got

[45:07] up.

[45:08] Because Diddy felt like, I don't want to

[45:10] be in the room.

[45:11] >> Mhm.

[45:12] >> Like, you're working out, you know, if

[45:14] if people here with keys, anybody could

[45:16] come into the room. And so for a long

[45:17] time, Mel, I wasn't working out. And

[45:20] Diddy would get up, but by the time she

[45:21] got up, but it's like we're retired. So,

[45:23] we're doing worship together, we're

[45:25] going out to eat, she's going shopping.

[45:27] I never got to it. It's like, Eric, your

[45:30] non-negotiables are not Diddy's

[45:32] non-negotiables. For years, I would not

[45:36] get up and go work out because of her

[45:38] fears. They weren't even my fears, and

[45:40] it wasn't even true. So, number one,

[45:42] schedule it. Number two, non-negotiable.

[45:45] Once you make up in your mind you're

[45:46] going to work out or do whatever you're

[45:47] going to do, your wife, your husband,

[45:49] your kids, you can't let somebody else's

[45:52] fear or somebody else's reality consume

[45:55] you to the point that you're not doing

[45:57] what you're supposed to be doing. Number

[45:58] three, take it light. Don't do anything

[46:02] that's going to overwhelm you and make

[46:04] you stop and make you quit. Number four,

[46:07] tell somebody else you're doing it.

[46:09] Be held accountable. I don't know what

[46:11] it is, Mel, it might just be me and I

[46:13] feel uh silly saying it, but sometimes I

[46:17] would rather work out because I told you

[46:19] than work out because I because I said I

[46:21] was going to work

[46:22] >> There's nothing silly about that at all.

[46:23] I will meet you

[46:25] at 5:30 in the morning because I

[46:28] promised you I would be at that class

[46:31] and I will not meet myself.

[46:32] >> I'm just I I don't know what it is, Mel,

[46:34] but there's times where I just won't

[46:36] meet myself. But if I tell you I'm going

[46:38] to do it and you say, "AE, where is the"

[46:41] And some Oh, Mel, it feels so good when

[46:44] I do the hour, you know, uh treadmill

[46:47] and I do the 30-minute weight and I do

[46:49] the sauna and I send the whole thing.

[46:50] And my boy CJ go, "Go, E, let's go." I'm

[46:53] like, "Was it the workout?"

[46:55] >> [laughter]

[46:55] >> OR WAS IT HIM SAYING, "GO"? That was You

[46:58] know, and so I think that's important

[47:01] too because

[47:02] you can let yourself down sometimes

[47:04] quicker than you can somebody else.

[47:06] >> You know what I think you should do is

[47:07] you should take this episode and copy

[47:10] the link and text it to your best friend

[47:12] or to your sister or to your brother or

[47:14] someone and say, "I am so inspired to

[47:17] take on a 52-day challenge. Let's do it

[47:20] together. Let's each pick something."

[47:21] And I want to share with you, Dr.

[47:23] Thomas, and with you as you're listening

[47:26] the team that's producing this episode

[47:28] is listening to our conversation and

[47:30] they're feeling so inspired and here

[47:32] things that they're going to be taking

[47:33] on for the next 52 days. "State of my

[47:36] home embarrasses me.

[47:38] >> [laughter]

[47:39] >> I need to organize it. I'm embarrassed

[47:42] that I don't work out. I'm going to take

[47:44] on a 52-day challenge to start working

[47:47] out again. I'm embarrassed by how much I

[47:49] complain. So, I'm going to take on a

[47:51] challenge around that. I'm embarrassed

[47:53] by my lack of knowledge. So, I'm going

[47:55] to take on a challenge around reading.

[47:57] Um here's a note. I'm embarrassed by my

[47:58] posture. And so, I'm going to take on a

[48:00] 52-day challenge to start stretching

[48:02] more.

[48:03] I'm embarrassed by not knowing how to

[48:07] cook. Multiple people on our team are

[48:09] saying this and so I am going to spend

[48:11] 52 days learning the skill of cooking.

[48:14] I'm embarrassed by the amount of debt

[48:15] I'm in and so I'm going to spend 52 days

[48:18] making and sticking to a plan.

[48:21] And so, you can see that we like you

[48:23] need to take that embarrassment part

[48:25] because I think there's a lot out there

[48:27] about hitting rock bottom. Right? Like

[48:30] it's got to be really horrible in order

[48:32] for you to muster up the motivation

[48:35] intrinsically to say I'm so sick of

[48:37] myself that staying here is worse than

[48:41] actually doing the thing that I'm

[48:43] avoiding. But embarrassment

[48:46] is a way for you to access the truth

[48:49] that you're living in a way that's not

[48:51] aligned with your true

[48:53] values and who you truly know yourself

[48:57] and know your know you want to be.

[49:00] >> Yeah.

[49:00] >> For somebody that's really

[49:02] in it with us and it is

[49:05] has has has admitted this thing that's

[49:07] embarrassing. They're having their own

[49:08] personal reckoning. What what do you

[49:10] want them to know the good news?

[49:12] >> want to say congratulations.

[49:14] Like no for real, congratulations. And I

[49:15] say congratulations because I deal with

[49:18] so many people every day

[49:21] who know that they're not their best

[49:24] self and they quit. And they give up and

[49:27] they surrender. So I just I I honestly

[49:28] want to say to you, congratulations.

[49:30] Like I don't know if you know how big it

[49:32] is to say, "I'm embarrassed by this or

[49:36] that." Most people hide. Like most

[49:38] people aren't transparent. And you'd be

[49:40] shocked that the actual secret to

[49:42] success is really transparency. It's

[49:44] really owning up to it and saying, "Yo,

[49:47] I'm I'm not happy." And guess what?

[49:49] People who hide, they they they're

[49:52] they're never discovered. They never

[49:54] discover They never explore. They never

[49:56] Once you hide, that's it. But the person

[49:59] that says, "I got on the scale, y'all."

[50:01] That No, I'm being honest with you. That

[50:03] was the reason why I never lost.

[50:06] Now I know Mel would say, "You know you

[50:07] were big." I did, but I didn't know how

[50:09] big. And I didn't want to know how.

[50:12] Okay? I didn't want to know how big I

[50:13] was. Why? Because I knew once I got on

[50:16] the scale, guess what's going to have to

[50:17] happen? I was going to have to do

[50:18] something about it. So most of us are

[50:20] running from our scale. We're running

[50:23] from the real number, the real truth.

[50:27] Right? And so Mel was like, "You just

[50:28] get on the scale." And I got on the

[50:30] scale and I said, "Whoa, you in the

[50:33] You're in the 240." Now I got to be

[50:35] honest, it was 242 like a week or two

[50:38] when I was like, "You got to get on the

[50:39] scale." So I think I kind of pulled

[50:40] back. I might have been bigger. If I

[50:42] would have got on the scale and then

[50:43] that was in the morning too and like dry

[50:45] weight. That wasn't like in the middle

[50:46] of the day when I had, you know,

[50:48] something to eat. So but when I saw the

[50:49] 242, guess what? While it was

[50:52] embarrassing,

[50:54] it was the beginning of 219. It was the

[50:58] beginning of 219. Like cuz 215 Didi

[51:00] like, "You too small. I don't like you

[51:02] at 215, 219, 220. She like I still feel

[51:05] I you know, I got something to hold,

[51:07] right? And so I was like E, 219. But

[51:10] listen to me, the day you see 242 is the

[51:14] day 219 comes alive. It's the day it

[51:17] comes alive. The day you see your worst

[51:19] self is the day your new self was

[51:21] peeking in saying, I told you.

[51:24] I told you. And just I all I need you to

[51:27] do is just tag me in. And then and the

[51:29] 219 dude said, just tag me in. Just turn

[51:32] on the treadmill. Just give me a shot at

[51:34] the treadmill. I just dare you to go in

[51:36] there and be by yourself and listen to

[51:38] your own thoughts, Eric. I dare you. And

[51:40] I did it for a week and then my body was

[51:42] like, I dare you to do it 2 weeks in a

[51:44] row.

[51:44] I dare you. Just give me a shot. And I'm

[51:47] telling you that 219, which is you know,

[51:50] figuratively. I'm not I don't know what

[51:51] we're not talking about weight. But that

[51:53] person is daring you to tag them in.

[51:56] They're daring you to give them control.

[51:58] Give me the keys. I just told a group of

[52:00] kids in school. I was at a high school

[52:02] in Flushing, Michigan, which is right

[52:05] next door to Flint. And the kids was

[52:06] like, I hate my teachers. I hate the

[52:08] counselors. I hate school. I said, do me

[52:10] a favor. Take the keys then. Go make

[52:13] your own curriculum. Go study yourself.

[52:16] I dare you to take the keys. Go talk to

[52:17] your counselor. I dare you to go to

[52:19] college. Like I dare you if you don't

[52:20] like what your teacher's doing, you

[52:22] don't like the way the school is, take

[52:23] the keys and go start writing your own

[52:25] paper. Start doing your own research. Go

[52:27] meet with your teachers and find out

[52:28] what books they read when they were in

[52:30] college. I dare you to take the keys.

[52:32] And so I'm daring somebody today to let

[52:34] the best version of you take over cuz

[52:36] the worst one has.

[52:38] And I'm telling you, don't wait another

[52:40] day. Start the 52 right now.

[52:42] I don't know if you're at optimal, below

[52:44] I I don't know. But let's start right

[52:45] now and for the next 52 days, let's just

[52:48] operate at optimal and let's give our

[52:50] best self a chance. And then I'll see

[52:52] you January 1st. I I promise you if if

[52:54] you don't like it,

[52:56] call Mail. If you don't like [laughter]

[52:57] it, call Mail. And you don't have my

[52:59] contact, but call me Mail. And uh yeah,

[53:01] that's that's how I feel about the

[53:03] 52-day transformation.

[53:05] >> You know, we're not going to end I'm

[53:06] going to have you send this.

[53:07] >> Okay.

[53:07] >> Send this, meaning send the person into

[53:11] the next version of themselves. Dr. Eric

[53:14] Thomas, what are your parting words?

[53:16] >> You owe you. You owe you to do what? You

[53:19] owe you to look at the hand that you've

[53:21] been dealt and play it. And so, study

[53:24] your hand. That's all I would tell you.

[53:25] Study it, and then when you study it and

[53:27] you learn it, play it to the best of

[53:28] your ability. So, you owe you. Nobody

[53:31] else owes you. If they help you, that

[53:33] would be great. But, I promise you if

[53:35] you help yourself

[53:37] and you get rid of that victim's

[53:39] mentality and you become a victor, I I

[53:41] guarantee you you too can be sitting

[53:43] next to whoever you want to sit next to.

[53:45] You could be on whatever podcast you

[53:47] want to be on, whatever stage you want

[53:48] to be on, whatever magazine you want to

[53:50] be on, whatever you want to do. I

[53:51] guarantee if you handle you,

[53:54] people will see how valuable you are and

[53:56] they'll start to bless you the way you

[53:57] bless yourself.

[53:58] >> Well, Dr. Thomas, you are a blessing.

[54:01] >> Thank you.

[54:01] >> And this structure of 52 days

[54:04] >> Yeah.

[54:05] >> and the invitation to get embarrassed

[54:08] >> Mhm.

[54:09] >> by

[54:10] uh where you're at

[54:11] >> get around the right person?

[54:12] >> You know what I'm saying? Like, it do

[54:14] you do not have to have your whole life

[54:16] fall apart to change. You can just be

[54:18] honest about what you're embarrassed

[54:20] about and you can [clears throat] make a

[54:21] decision

[54:22] >> Absolutely.

[54:22] >> going to spend the next 52 days doing

[54:24] something about it.

[54:26] Yes, that's how you roll, Dr. Thomas.

[54:29] So, Dr. Thomas, thank you. Thank you.

[54:31] Thank you. Thank you. And thank you.

[54:33] Thank you for making time and spending

[54:35] it with me and Dr. Thomas. Now, stop

[54:37] listening and do something about it. You

[54:38] take the link, you send it to a friend,

[54:41] you create a 52-day plan just like I've

[54:44] done, you challenge yourself to make

[54:47] your life better, to feel better about

[54:49] yourself, and I promise you, just like

[54:50] Dr. Thomas did, January 1 rolls around

[54:53] or 52 days from now, you are going to be

[54:55] a different you because you're the one

[54:57] who made that change happen. And in case

[54:59] no one else tells you as your friend,

[55:01] I'm going to tell you that I love you.

[55:03] I bet

[55:04] Dr. Thomas wants to say that, too.

[55:05] >> Absolutely. Love you. Love you. Love

[55:08] you. And I pray that you would learn to

[55:10] love yourself.

[55:12] >> Oh. And this conversation

[55:15] it is my hope that it helps you do that

[55:17] because you can create a better life but

[55:20] learning how to love yourself, you

[55:21] better follow everything Dr. Thomas said

[55:24] because that's how you do it. And you

[55:25] owe you. I'll see you in the next

[55:27] episode. I'm going to welcome you in the

[55:28] moment you hit play.

[55:30] And thank you for watching all the way

[55:32] to the end. I really love being here

[55:34] with you. Wasn't that extraordinary?

[55:36] Thanks for being so generous with that,

[55:37] [music] for being a subscriber. All

[55:39] right, I know because he just lit you

[55:41] up, you want to watch another episode

[55:43] [music] of the Mel Robbins podcast.

[55:44] You're going to love this one next and

[55:45] I'm going to welcome you in the moment

[55:47] you hit play.

Mel Robbins
ArtistMel Robbins

Mel Robbins is an American author and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast, known for The 5 Second Rule, The High 5 Habit and The Let Them Theory, and for practical, science-backed tool…

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52-day-challengeEric-thomasGetting-back-on-trackHope-and-purposeDaily-habits

Hast du Fragen?

Häufig gestellte Fragen

Eric Thomas built the 52-day challenge after watching people around him lose hope during a tough year. He based it on the Nehemiah story, in which a broken wall was rebuilt in 52 days, and he asks people to return to their best self one day at a time rather than chase a dramatic reinvention. He tested it on his own health first before inviting others to take it on.
Thomas suggests looking at your life as a set of pillars, noticing which ones you are handling well, and identifying the one that has slipped. For him, four pillars were strong and health was the weak one, and he used the discipline from the strong areas to repair it. Start by naming the area you tend to avoid looking at.
Thomas argues that a reset works better when it focuses on one area and a realistic daily action rather than an overhaul. He frames the goal as getting back to a version of yourself you already know, which is easier to return to than an imagined new life. Small, repeatable actions create momentum that a sweeping change often cannot sustain.
Thomas's advice centers on focusing on what you can control today instead of the full distance to your goal. He tells listeners that they have more control than they think, and that the aim is to keep showing up for the next small task. Trust that the cumulative effect is real even when it isn't yet visible.
Thomas's core instruction is to stop focusing on the years of decline and to work one day at a time. Break the goal into the single action available today. Measuring in days rather than years keeps the work manageable.
Thomas's approach to quitting is to ask what you can actually control right now. That question moves attention from outcomes you cannot guarantee to the action in front of you. It turns a feeling of defeat into a concrete next step.

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