Transcript
[0:11] We're all trying to stand up.
[0:44] It's a little bit easier.
[1:04] Where am I?
[1:33] Okay, I got it.
[2:07] getting out of the floor.
[2:08] >> Oh yeah.
[2:23] How are you doing?
[3:00] Where is it?
[3:20] I hate you guys.
[3:28] Wait,
[3:37] you're changing.
[3:51] [music]
[3:53] Let's
[3:59] see what [music]
[4:07] [music]
[4:15] you
[4:20] [music]
[4:26] >> [music]
[4:34] [music]
[4:42] [music]
[4:49] [music]
[4:54] >> Krishna
[4:58] Krishna
[5:01] Christy.
[5:10] [music]
[5:15] >> [music]
[5:20] [music]
[5:28] >> I
[5:30] Christian.
[5:32] I
[5:34] curs
[5:39] Christmas. [music]
[5:47] [music]
[5:52] [music]
[5:59] >> [music]
[6:04] [singing]
[6:05] >> Christian. [music]
[6:16] [music]
[6:19] I
[6:22] [music]
[6:24] might
[6:26] [music]
[6:32] [music]
[6:47] >> [music]
[6:53] >> I
[6:57] >> [music]
[6:57] >> I
[7:00] want
[7:02] you to [music]
[7:08] [music]
[7:16] [singing]
[7:16] [music] Christian.
[7:19] I
[7:21] Christmas. [music]
[7:27] >> [music]
[7:28] >> I
[7:34] [music]
[7:37] might [singing]
[7:43] [music]
[7:52] Christian
[7:55] I [singing] prison. [music]
[8:04] I
[8:11] [music]
[8:13] Hallelujah.
[8:15] [music]
[8:22] I [music]
[8:26] might
[8:30] I
[8:32] cence
[8:39] I [singing]
[8:43] [music]
[8:44] Hallelujah.
[8:48] [music]
[8:54] [music]
[9:02] [music]
[9:06] I
[9:08] Christmas
[9:10] [music]
[9:12] Christmas
[9:15] [singing and music]
[9:17] I
[9:19] [music]
[9:24] might. [music]
[9:31] [music]
[9:36] [music]
[9:38] [singing]
[9:41] [music]
[9:51] [music]
[9:55] >> [music]
[9:57] >> I want
[10:05] [music and singing]
[10:08] I
[10:15] [music]
[10:19] present.
[10:23] >> [music]
[10:26] >> I
[10:28] [singing and music]
[10:30] might
[10:37] [music]
[10:42] [music]
[10:47] [music]
[10:52] I
[10:55] love [music]
[11:01] I [singing]
[11:07] [music]
[11:08] might
[11:11] [music]
[11:12] [singing]
[11:17] [music]
[11:23] I
[11:25] [singing]
[11:26] [music]
[11:28] I
[11:32] love
[11:38] I
[11:45] might [music]
[11:54] >> [music]
[11:59] [music]
[12:02] >> might [singing]
[12:03] Christmas. [music]
[12:05] Christ
[12:09] might [music]
[12:16] [music]
[12:16] [singing]
[12:20] [music]
[12:23] >> [singing]
[12:23] >> I
[12:25] [music]
[12:28] [singing]
[12:30] I am
[12:34] [singing and music]
[12:37] I
[12:41] [music] am
[12:45] I am [music]
[12:48] [singing]
[12:51] I am
[12:57] [music]
[12:58] I am
[13:06] I [singing]
[13:08] am
[13:09] [music]
[13:14] [music]
[13:16] >> [singing]
[13:21] [music]
[13:23] >> I
[13:28] [music] know.
[13:32] [music] Heat. Heat.
[13:39] [music]
[13:47] >> [music]
[13:50] >> I [singing]
[13:52] [music]
[13:53] I
[14:00] [singing]
[14:04] [music]
[14:11] >> [music and singing]
[14:17] >> I [music]
[14:22] love
[14:27] I [singing]
[14:29] am. [music]
[14:34] [music]
[14:46] Krishna [music]
[14:47] mighty. [singing]
[14:51] [music]
[14:55] [singing and music]
[15:01] >> [music]
[15:05] [singing]
[15:07] [music]
[15:11] >> I
[15:14] might
[15:17] prison.
[15:19] [music]
[15:21] [singing]
[15:26] [music]
[15:29] >> [singing]
[15:33] [music]
[15:38] [music and singing]
[15:39] >> Krishna
[15:41] might
[15:48] [singing]
[15:49] I
[15:51] Yeah. [music]
[15:56] [music]
[16:02] >> [music]
[16:04] >> I
[16:07] I
[16:09] [music]
[16:14] [music]
[16:15] am
[16:20] I am [music]
[16:24] [singing]
[16:30] I
[16:34] might
[16:37] [music]
[16:42] Hey, [music]
[16:47] [music]
[16:55] [music]
[16:57] I
[16:59] [music]
[17:01] [singing] am
[17:04] [music]
[17:07] [singing]
[17:09] Hey, [music]
[17:13] I
[17:17] [music]
[17:18] [singing]
[17:21] >> [music]
[17:25] >> Irish.
[17:30] Irish.
[17:34] Krishna.
[17:36] Krishna. [singing]
[17:48] >> [music]
[17:53] [music]
[17:54] [singing]
[18:01] [music]
[18:33] >> Now
[18:45] that be time for the band.
[18:50] So [clears throat]
[18:53] at the very least
[18:56] which is not little
[18:59] when we chant
[19:01] our attention is slowly little by little
[19:04] pulled away from the outside world and
[19:07] our thoughts. Shami you want your
[19:08] blanket use.
[19:27] Because most of the time, most of our
[19:29] life is spent
[19:31] with our attention lost in outside
[19:34] stuff,
[19:35] the external world, the supposed
[19:38] external world.
[19:40] Whether there is one or not, that's a
[19:42] whole other story. It looks like there
[19:45] is.
[19:52] And those thoughts and stories that we
[19:54] tell ourselves all lifelong, the stuff
[19:57] we believe about ourselves,
[20:00] it pretty much goes unchallenged our
[20:02] whole lives.
[20:07] The programs that were
[20:10] put into us as young kids just keep
[20:13] going on.
[20:16] And if we don't do something to change
[20:18] that,
[20:22] we don't do something to change that.
[20:27] We get born,
[20:30] go to high school,
[20:32] drink some beer,
[20:34] and die.
[20:37] That's it. And that's what it's like for
[20:39] most people in this world,
[20:42] unfortunately.
[20:43] Either
[20:45] they're born in places where there is no
[20:48] dharma, no spiritual stuff,
[20:51] or they're born in situation where they
[20:53] don't have time or
[20:56] safety to practice.
[20:59] But here we are,
[21:01] and we don't even know how we got here,
[21:03] but here we are
[21:06] trying to do something to help
[21:08] ourselves.
[21:13] I thought of a little story while we
[21:14] were singing. You know when I in 1989
[21:18] I was in Ilahabad in India
[21:21] uh at a place called the Pra
[21:24] where uh there was a kumba mea
[21:28] a kumba mea is uh every year there's a
[21:32] mea mea means a festival
[21:36] and every 3 years there's a quarter mea
[21:39] every six years there's a half me every
[21:41] 12 years there's a full mea
[21:45] It's a 12-ear cycle of astrological
[21:48] stuff. Shut up.
[21:51] Nothing. Just talking to a friend.
[21:56] Um, so this one was the 12th 12th. These
[22:01] stars, this this astrological thing
[22:03] hadn't been in that position for 144
[22:05] years. So this was big time.
[22:09] There were like maybe 30 million people.
[22:12] became the biggest city in India for
[22:14] about two weeks. Goes on for a month but
[22:18] two main weeks.
[22:20] So I was living in in a camp a little
[22:23] camp tents
[22:26] with a with a a yogi who was 163 years
[22:29] old.
[22:32] Uh really he was. You don't believe me?
[22:37] He was. I remember once he looked at us
[22:39] and said, "You're from America, huh? You
[22:42] remember when Lincoln was shot?"
[22:46] Oh, no. Yeah, we we read about it in the
[22:48] papers. He said,
[22:50] "And the guy had been living in the same
[22:52] area. Everybody knew him. He was 163."
[22:56] And one day he said he was going to
[22:59] visit his elder guru brother who was 250
[23:05] something years old and his name was
[23:08] Deorra Babala. It's a Deorra is a county
[23:11] in Uttar Pradesh and this Baba had been
[23:15] living there for hundreds of years. He
[23:19] was your grandfather's grandfather's
[23:20] grandfather's grandfather's
[23:21] grandfather's grandfather's guru.
[23:23] Everybody knew him. It was no mystery.
[23:26] And the funny thing is after
[23:28] [clears throat] two and a half years I
[23:29] came back to the states and uh I went to
[23:31] my mother's house and the morning I woke
[23:33] up and I went to the&mp to get some
[23:36] Cheerios.
[23:38] Maybe it was wedies at that time.
[23:42] And as I'm checking out, I look over the
[23:45] National Inquirer was in the rack, you
[23:47] know, and on the front page it said
[23:50] world's oldest man and a picture of this
[23:52] baba.
[23:54] Really? I went
[23:59] so the younger Baba the 163 year old guy
[24:03] goes to visit the older guy
[24:06] and he comes back and he said oh we had
[24:08] a nice time he told me that Sri Krishna
[24:11] came to him and asked him to come play
[24:13] with him in Bindaval so he's going to go
[24:17] couple of weeks later he left the
[24:26] Krishna came and asked him to come play.
[24:28] So he said okay and he left the body and
[24:31] went to bring up the play.
[24:36] India is another world
[24:39] and it still exists. The spiritual India
[24:41] is still there. It's not easy to find
[24:45] but it's still there.
[24:49] So, I just read this thing that a friend
[24:51] of mine wrote. Uh, his name is Tokco
[24:53] Sherto. He's a Tibetan lama, a
[24:58] a Canadian Tibetan llama.
[25:02] And he said, you know, he'd been doing
[25:03] these practices for so many years to
[25:06] Tara, the goddess Tara.
[25:09] And
[25:11] the quality of Tara is that she she
[25:13] loves everyone. She's here to save
[25:15] everyone from suffering.
[25:18] He said, "But I've been doing these
[25:19] practices,
[25:20] but it's been so hard for me to actually
[25:22] believe that Tara loves me."
[25:28] So, I just started thinking about that.
[25:41] I don't know. Most of us we don't
[25:43] believe there's a Krishna or a Rama
[25:46] or Hanuman or Shiva Khali. We read about
[25:51] that stuff
[25:53] but it's just stuff for us.
[25:56] What we don't know and what we have to
[25:58] know is who the we are.
[26:01] That's the first thing.
[26:04] That's what we have. When we look in the
[26:06] mirror, there's a whole story line that
[26:09] we see.
[26:12] Inside that story line is who we are.
[26:17] [clears throat]
[26:18] So, it doesn't really work for us to try
[26:20] to manipulate ourselves into one kind of
[26:22] experience or not. When we're
[26:24] practicing, when we're singing or
[26:26] meditating,
[26:28] that's not your job. Your job is to pay
[26:31] attention to what you're doing,
[26:34] not to try to have some kind of
[26:36] experience,
[26:38] not to all of a sudden manipulate to
[26:40] trick yourself into feeling good or
[26:42] feeling loved or feeling all that.
[26:46] That's not the way it works. All we have
[26:49] to do is pay attention to what we're
[26:52] doing,
[26:53] which is very hard. And you don't notice
[26:57] that until you try to do it.
[27:07] and the expectations we have about what
[27:10] we're doing. Like when we sit down to
[27:12] meditate or chant or something, that's
[27:14] that's what stops us from really
[27:17] getting it together. It never feels I've
[27:21] been meditating for three years. I still
[27:22] feel like
[27:25] That's good. It means you're paying
[27:27] attention.
[27:42] Somehow we have to loosen up this
[27:45] these habitual identifications that we
[27:48] have with our stuff.
[27:53] The problem is we it's we believe it all
[27:56] so deeply and so
[28:00] Unquestioningly,
[28:01] we wake up and you don't feel good and
[28:03] I'm depressed today.
[28:05] And we really believe that we feel bad.
[28:10] And we believe that
[28:14] when I started chanting with people, it
[28:16] was because I had this
[28:18] [clears throat] epiphany
[28:20] that if I did not sing with people, I
[28:23] would never be able to
[28:27] clean out the dark shadows in my own
[28:29] heart.
[28:32] And the the understanding was this stuff
[28:34] was pushing me around like a shadow. You
[28:36] can't see it.
[28:40] But the only way to do that for me was
[28:41] to start chanting
[28:47] and it had to be with people.
[28:52] So here we are.
[28:57] >> [clears throat and cough]
[29:08] >> I mean, do you really want to spend the
[29:09] rest of your life
[29:11] up?
[29:15] Really,
[29:18] you can if you want to. I mean, nobody's
[29:20] going to stop you.
[29:23] But why?
[29:27] Part of the reason why is we don't
[29:28] really believe there's anything we can
[29:30] really do about it.
[29:33] That's that's the unfortunate reality
[29:36] because nobody in my life growing up
[29:38] ever did anything about them their their
[29:40] states of mind,
[29:43] right?
[29:45] So where was that understanding going to
[29:47] come from
[29:50] or where does it come from for us, you
[29:52] know?
[29:53] It doesn't come easy
[29:56] because it's so sticky in there. It's
[29:58] scary, too. Who wants to deal with their
[30:01] stuff?
[30:03] Nobody.
[30:08] [clears throat]
[30:10] This is fun.
[30:13] It gets you all so depressed you run out
[30:15] of here screaming. There won't be
[30:16] anybody here tonight.
[30:20] I can go home and watch TV.
[30:29] Maharaji said through the repetition of
[30:32] the name which is the chanting we do
[30:34] name the names of what they call God in
[30:37] India there's a million names for God
[30:39] you walk down the street there's Shri
[30:41] Bhagavan insurance company
[30:44] Durga travels you know Saraswati
[30:48] cleaning service you know everywhere you
[30:50] go there's
[30:55] Through the repetition of the name,
[30:57] everything is accomplished
[31:03] and he knows what everything is.
[31:06] And that's what he said.
[31:10] So,
[31:11] wow.
[31:13] That's like, you know,
[31:15] the Good Housekeeping seal of approval.
[31:19] This stuff works. He says it does. He
[31:22] says everything will be accomplished
[31:24] through the repetition of these names.
[31:27] Do you believe it? No. Do I believe it?
[31:33] If I really believed it, I'd just be
[31:35] sitting at home going.
[31:38] I wouldn't even eat.
[31:40] Certainly wouldn't be watching TV.
[31:44] To the extent we believe that our
[31:47] actions can have a good effect on our
[31:49] lives, that's how much we'll make an
[31:51] effort. But we hardly believe it. And so
[31:54] we hardly make an effort.
[31:57] We meditate for five minutes a day, 10
[31:59] minutes a day, every other week,
[32:02] and we think we're really a yogi. Yeah.
[32:05] We do a couple of asas, and you think
[32:07] you're a king of yogis.
[32:12] But to change the way we go through our
[32:14] lives is a really big thing.
[32:17] And
[32:18] like I told you, I had that epiphany
[32:22] that the only way for me to change
[32:27] my inner reality would be to chant with
[32:31] people.
[32:38] It took me a while to get with the
[32:39] program.
[32:42] I called dharmas first but they didn't
[32:44] want me to come.
[32:46] Eva said well I'll talk to Dharma next.
[32:49] So I called Jiva Mukti and they said
[32:52] yeah come on down.
[32:54] Come on Monday. Okay. So I went on
[32:56] Monday. There were 10 people there. They
[32:58] had the teacher trainee every Monday.
[33:01] David and Sharon. They would read do
[33:03] some readings and take Q&A.
[33:08] I was singing for about 15 20 minutes.
[33:11] That went on for a few months and then I
[33:14] showed up and they weren't there. They
[33:16] went to India and they were gone like
[33:19] three months.
[33:21] So I sang for like three hours.
[33:25] Then after three months I came and their
[33:28] pillows were there. They showed up. Oh,
[33:30] hi. How you doing? Yeah, good. Okay. So
[33:32] I started singing. An hour later I went,
[33:34] "Oh they're here.
[33:38] And I looked over and I went like and
[33:41] they just went.
[33:43] So Mondays became my night.
[33:46] They stopped coming. [laughter]
[33:50] They stayed home and watched TV.
[33:54] And it just happened. Just happened.
[33:57] There was no agenda.
[34:02] [clears throat]
[34:04] Doing practice is like planting seeds.
[34:07] Every repetition of the name is a seed.
[34:10] Every time the mind comes back or your
[34:12] awareness comes back from dreamland,
[34:15] that's a seed, too.
[34:18] If we plant seeds, those seeds will
[34:20] grow. If we don't plant them, then
[34:23] nothing's going to grow. Unfortunately,
[34:25] it's very simple. It's not easy, but
[34:29] it's simple.
[34:37] You know, we're used to like 15,000
[34:39] channels on television,
[34:42] but sitting down
[34:44] and trying to pay attention, it's not
[34:46] easy.
[35:16] Each one of us has to find out what
[35:17] works for us.
[35:19] Really nobody can tell you.
[35:22] Maharaji never told me to to go forth
[35:25] and multiply.
[35:29] He never told me to go chant with
[35:30] people.
[35:32] I I wanted to do that. We had chanted
[35:35] with him, to him, for him.
[35:39] But life got in the way, and I never did
[35:42] it.
[35:44] And it wasn't until like 21 years after
[35:46] he died that I started singing with
[35:48] people.
[35:51] Stubborn.
[35:53] I was so angry and hurt, pissed off that
[35:56] he left me. I wouldn't do anything.
[36:02] I had to get over that.
[36:06] So, but he left it to me to find out
[36:08] what I wanted to do.
[36:14] Last time I saw him so far,
[36:19] I was trying I I was going to leave that
[36:21] day for for Delhi to get on a plane back
[36:24] to America after two and a half years in
[36:27] India walking around barefoot in a red
[36:29] dress.
[36:31] I this is not going to work in New York.
[36:34] What'll I do in America? Well, maybe I
[36:36] should ask him. No, don't you ask him
[36:38] what's wrong with you. You should have
[36:39] faith. Faith in my ass. I'm going back
[36:41] to America.
[36:43] So, I'm sitting there right in front of
[36:44] him arguing with myself, right?
[36:47] But finally, I blurted out, "Baba, how
[36:51] can I serve you in America?"
[36:54] He looked like he bit a pickle.
[36:58] He said, "Asky about service. It's not
[37:00] service. Just do what you want."
[37:05] Now I had been celibate for two and a
[37:08] half years
[37:11] during prime time ages of 23 to 26.
[37:16] I knew what I wanted to do and he knew
[37:19] what I wanted to do. That was the thing.
[37:23] So I just went
[37:25] my mind literally stopped and he
[37:29] laughed. He said, "Ah, so how are you
[37:31] served me? [laughter]
[37:37] Living with somebody who knows
[37:39] everything about you, you know, every
[37:41] little thing, every thought is just a
[37:44] trip.
[37:48] [clears throat]
[37:52] So then I had to go. He said, "Just do
[37:55] what you want." Then it was time for me
[37:57] to go. So I bowed down. And I walked
[37:59] across the courtyard
[38:02] and I I did a dundapernam fool down on
[38:06] the ground. And as I was there on the
[38:09] ground there, I heard
[38:12] my voice in my mind, but it wasn't me
[38:17] talking and said, "I'll sing to you in
[38:20] America."
[38:22] Oh, okay.
[38:25] And I got up and left.
[38:28] But it took me 21 years to start singing
[38:32] with people.
[38:34] So when I tell you when I say to you you
[38:38] got to plant some seeds, I know how hard
[38:40] it is to overcome
[38:46] to overcome the delusion and and and the
[38:49] the the
[38:51] inertia of of the mind and the emotions
[38:55] engaged
[38:57] all lifelong with this stuff. It's
[39:00] really hard.
[39:03] really hard.
[39:05] We have so many reasons why we don't pay
[39:07] attention, why we don't do what's in our
[39:09] own best interests.
[39:15] What are you going to do?
[39:18] It's up to you.
[39:22] Okay, let's change the channel
[39:25] before everybody commits suicide.
[39:35] So, we have a a microphone. We'll take
[39:39] some questions.
[39:42] I'll ask the questions. [laughter]
[39:48] Okay.
[39:50] If you want to say something, just raise
[39:51] your hand.
[40:00] >> Hi.
[40:01] >> Hi. Can you hear me?
[40:02] >> I can.
[40:03] >> Okay.
[40:04] >> Hold on one second. Kev, can you put me
[40:05] in here in this mic?
[40:08] >> Go ahead.
[40:09] >> So, my name's Ra Ali and I came up to
[40:12] you at um the Ramdas retreat.
[40:14] >> Okay.
[40:15] >> And um we were [clears throat]
[40:16] discussing the names of God and um I
[40:20] grew up Orthodox,
[40:22] Jewish Orthodox.
[40:23] >> Jewish or there's a lot of different
[40:24] Orthodox. Thank you.
[40:26] >> Yes. Yes. That one.
[40:27] >> Yeah. And um I've been doing the Hanuman
[40:31] Shalisa.
[40:32] >> That's a good Jewish prayer.
[40:33] >> It's a good one.
[40:35] So then I was home on Roshashana at my
[40:38] parents and suddenly like I couldn't do
[40:40] it. The names of um of Ram and Haniman
[40:46] and all of that. I felt this resistance
[40:49] >> and I'm just curious if you have any
[40:50] thoughts because I do believe it is all
[40:52] one. We're talking about that book with
[40:54] the ball stem toe.
[40:56] >> Um, but yeah, if you have any thoughts
[40:58] for me on that
[41:00] >> thoughts, let me think about that.
[41:04] >> Yeah, I remember one time I was doing a
[41:06] retreat and a woman raised her hand
[41:08] said, "I was at a Jewish retreat last
[41:10] weekend and they say you can't say the
[41:12] name of God." And I said, "You're right.
[41:15] We're just lying."
[41:17] [laughter]
[41:18] And Maharaj used to say go on sing your
[41:20] lying fake Ram Ram. One of these days
[41:23] you'll really call out and the real
[41:25] Quran will come
[41:29] whatever that is. It's beyond
[41:31] conceptions, thoughts, names, labels.
[41:36] Reality is beyond all that. So the true
[41:39] name of God can never be spoken.
[41:43] On the other hand,
[41:48] because we live in the world of thought
[41:50] and emotions and words and concepts,
[41:54] what we try to do is gather ourselves up
[41:57] and eventually offer ourselves to that
[42:00] place within us that is real love. And
[42:04] we use these names
[42:07] as uh a method to do that for ourselves
[42:12] to accomplish that.
[42:15] But the names themselves
[42:18] are the
[42:21] you know uh St. John the cross wrote
[42:23] that in the beginning the father uttered
[42:25] one word.
[42:27] That word is his son and he utters him
[42:31] forever in everlasting silence.
[42:36] Silence
[42:38] is not just the not the absence of
[42:41] sound. It's the ab it's the absence of
[42:43] stuff
[42:45] of of
[42:47] concepts.
[42:49] So silence is reality but it's beyond
[42:53] words.
[42:55] The only way for us to recognize that is
[42:57] to see it ourselves within
[43:02] these names. They say these names are
[43:05] the the sound form
[43:08] of what's beyond form.
[43:12] Maharaji used to say you you can get to
[43:14] the formless through the only way to he
[43:17] used to say the only way to get to the
[43:18] formless is through the form because we
[43:21] identify with form with our own form
[43:24] with the body thoughts the emotions we
[43:27] identify with that. So inside of that
[43:30] delusion
[43:33] these other
[43:35] this method of chanting the names
[43:39] I mean if you chant Frank all day long
[43:43] you'll get a headache people named Frank
[43:46] will start knocking on your door
[43:48] you know you'll wake up in in bed
[43:51] instead of your husband there'll be a
[43:53] Frank [laughter]
[43:54] it's dangerous you know this stuff works
[43:57] so it's better seeing the names of
[43:59] what's real and all these other names
[44:02] that we're chanting are the names of
[44:05] this place within us that is beyond
[44:07] form.
[44:11] It's hard to talk about things beyond
[44:12] form because we don't know. What was I
[44:15] just reading something?
[44:23] A brain is a terrible thing to lose.
[44:27] But anyhow um
[44:31] yeah we we're in form. We live in form.
[44:33] Everything our thoughts our emotions our
[44:36] feelings it's all form.
[44:39] So but inside of that form that it's
[44:42] like clouds in the sky. The sky is vast.
[44:47] The space is vast and endless and it
[44:50] envelops everything. It includes
[44:52] everything within it. So all these
[44:55] concepts, all these forms actually are
[44:59] held in this vast presence, this vast
[45:02] being, this vast silence.
[45:06] But to get to the silence, we have to
[45:08] use techniques in form.
[45:15] So that's what the names are about. And
[45:18] like I said when you say because if you
[45:22] if you were 100% there and you said the
[45:25] ram you would have that experience of
[45:27] what really ram is
[45:31] and like Kabir the poet says my ram is
[45:33] not that that prince you know my ram is
[45:37] is reality the inner dwell the
[45:39] indwelling presence in everyone reality.
[45:43] So yeah, you know, it's just um
[45:48] I was just at the wailing wall like a
[45:51] month ago, two months ago. It was uh
[45:56] intense.
[45:58] I sang a chalisa,
[46:00] >> banging my head against the wall like
[46:02] everybody else. My god, this is so
[46:04] horrible.
[46:05] [laughter]
[46:13] But um
[46:17] yeah, so you know you but all that being
[46:20] said, you you have to honor your own
[46:23] feelings. What feels right to you is
[46:26] what you should follow, what you could
[46:28] listen to. I don't want to say should
[46:30] but could.
[46:32] Because if you don't follow your own
[46:33] heart, then what? Right? So don't don't
[46:37] doubt that.
[46:38] That would be my what I would you know
[46:41] you should
[46:43] you could examine your feelings. Well,
[46:45] why do I feel this way? Is this really
[46:47] me or is it my programming that's making
[46:49] it uncomfortable? You know, so whatever
[46:52] it is, you should go with it. You could
[46:54] go with it. See? Shh.
[46:58] Because if you don't if the whole path
[47:00] is learning how to trust yourself. The
[47:02] whole path is nothing but learning how
[47:06] to trust oneself
[47:10] because that's where it is
[47:12] always.
[47:27] Kev, I can't hear me in here. A little
[47:28] louder.
[47:31] >> Hi.
[47:32] >> Hi.
[47:33] >> So, I've recently uh been blessed to
[47:37] have Kran enter my life in the last like
[47:40] probably 18 months, so like year and a
[47:42] half. And um
[47:45] coming from like a music background,
[47:48] I've like invested in a harmonium and I
[47:51] sing and chant in my home and I like
[47:53] sing my heart out. And then whenever I
[47:57] get into a group of people and am
[48:00] chanting the same chants that I've
[48:02] practiced at home or have developed at
[48:04] home, it sort of flips from being a
[48:08] genuine expression of love for divinity
[48:11] into
[48:13] almost like a leadership role, I guess.
[48:15] And so I guess I'm wondering if you have
[48:18] any perspective or advice on how to keep
[48:20] the main thing the main thing in a group
[48:23] when you're leading a chant or a melody,
[48:26] you know, cuz for me it sort of flips
[48:28] into this almost performance instead of
[48:31] a community expression of love for
[48:34] divinity. So I'd love your perspective
[48:36] on that if you have any to offer. Well,
[48:39] first of all, don't quit your day job.
[48:41] [laughter]
[48:44] And it's good that you see that. That's
[48:46] very that's it's useful that you see
[48:48] that. Um,
[48:51] but you you only had two options. You
[48:54] gave me two options. Neither one is good
[48:56] enough.
[48:59] If this isn't your spiritual practice,
[49:02] you're doing it wrong.
[49:05] So, and spiritual practice you say
[49:09] chanting to divinity and all this. I
[49:11] mean, I don't even know what that means.
[49:14] Do you?
[49:16] Right. So, just chant and pay attention
[49:20] and when you're gone, come back. Think
[49:24] focus on the sound of what you're
[49:26] singing. All this other stuff's going to
[49:28] come and go. Sometimes you'll feel good.
[49:30] Sometimes you'll feel bad. Sometimes
[49:32] this will happen. Sometimes that'll
[49:34] happen. What won't change is the sound
[49:35] of the name. That'll always be there for
[49:38] you to come back to. And that's the
[49:41] deal. So ultimately it should be no
[49:43] different at home or in a group. But
[49:49] you're seeing your stuff. So that's
[49:51] good. Just keep letting go and be
[49:56] sincere and open and honest. And don't
[49:59] try to fool anybody
[50:01] because you're only fooling yourself.
[50:12] When we started singing, when Maharaji
[50:14] would ask us to sing, we would just
[50:16] stand there and go
[50:19] very Ramdas like
[50:26] >> [laughter]
[50:28] >> So one day one of the guys in who
[50:31] hanging out with us
[50:33] [clears throat]
[50:34] knew the the Harri Krishna guys they got
[50:37] they came to Bindaban for the first time
[50:39] in 1971 maybe they were there before but
[50:42] they started coming in numbers and one
[50:44] group came from Hawaii.
[50:47] So this guy was from Hawaii and he knew
[50:49] the leader of this group so he invited
[50:51] them to come to this to the temple to
[50:53] sing. So like 20 they they all came and
[50:56] they had their drums and their bangers
[50:58] and their clangers and they were dancing
[51:00] and everything. Maharaji loved it. He
[51:03] looks over me and goes Hari Krishna ma
[51:06] mantra like it was a big secret you
[51:07] know.
[51:10] So then they left he reaches in his doti
[51:13] you know and he pulls out a 50 rupee
[51:15] note and he gives it to me. He said go
[51:17] buy a drum
[51:19] from that 50 rupees.
[51:22] Here we are.
[51:28] So
[51:34] you know uh [clears throat]
[51:37] there was a great saint in the 1800s
[51:40] named Sri Ramak Krishna
[51:43] and uh
[51:46] he he he talked about the way chanting
[51:49] works. So he said every repetition of
[51:53] the name is a seed. Okay?
[51:58] Just like a seed, a little tiny seed
[52:01] could have a huge tree inside it. Right?
[52:04] These seeds of the name have even a
[52:06] greater potential. They have reality
[52:09] inside, real love inside, truth.
[52:13] And he said, "So you you're chanting
[52:15] these names and the seeds
[52:17] [clears throat] of the name get caught
[52:18] by the wind and blown around and some of
[52:23] the seeds get land on the roof of an old
[52:26] house in the middle of the jungle
[52:30] and they get stuck between the tiles on
[52:32] the roof of the house. Okay? The seeds
[52:36] of the repetition of the name get stuck
[52:38] between the tiles on the roof of this
[52:40] house. And over time and seasons and
[52:44] wind and rain and whatever sun, the
[52:46] tiles start to break down and get soft.
[52:51] At that point, the seeds start to
[52:55] take root. They start to grow and the
[52:59] seeds of the roots grow and they grow
[53:01] and they grow
[53:05] and they destroy the roof of the house
[53:08] and they keep growing and they destroy
[53:10] the walls of the house.
[53:13] Ramach Krishna said the house is who we
[53:16] think we are.
[53:19] Our version of ourselves, our so-called
[53:22] egos, who we think we are. That's the
[53:25] house which is destroyed
[53:28] by the repetition of the name.
[53:31] And you know what he doesn't talk about?
[53:33] He doesn't talk about how it feels when
[53:36] you're planting the seeds. Why? Because
[53:39] it's irrelevant.
[53:41] People ask me, "What do you feel when
[53:43] you uh when you chant?" I say, "How do I
[53:46] know?"
[53:48] If I if I think some if there's a
[53:51] thought comes through, I just let it go.
[53:53] I don't write it down.
[53:56] I come back to the sound of the name.
[53:58] But the thing is this house with the
[54:02] walls and the roof.
[54:05] Then there's an inside and an outside,
[54:07] right? Which is all the little houses in
[54:10] the room here.
[54:12] Every one of these houses in the room
[54:13] has an inside and outside. That's the
[54:16] rest of us. My outside is all of you.
[54:19] Your outside is everybody else.
[54:22] The repetition of the name dissolves
[54:25] those walls and then there's open space.
[54:29] Nothing is lost. Everything is gained.
[54:33] The whole universe.
[54:36] You recognize yourself as the whole
[54:38] universe. Not just that what was in that
[54:40] little house.
[54:47] So you sing, you do your practice and
[54:49] you live your life.
[54:52] That's it.
[54:54] And you try to treat people the way you
[54:56] would like to be treated.
[54:58] More than that, it's not necessary.
[55:03] That's enough of a job.
[55:06] I mean, think of how you go through the
[55:08] day. How many people do you treat the
[55:10] way you would like to be treated?
[55:14] No. We label everything and everyone.
[55:17] This one's good. This one's bad. This
[55:19] one's a friend. This one's an enemy.
[55:21] This one's bigger, smaller. This one's
[55:23] higher on the chain of command at work.
[55:27] Everything's labeled. Everything so we
[55:29] can navigate our egoistic way through
[55:32] that through our lives.
[55:34] And we never notice it because
[55:36] everybody's doing it.
[55:39] So
[55:41] a little bit of practice and a lot of
[55:44] caring for other people and oneself and
[55:48] a lot of good things can happen.
[55:50] Okay.
[55:53] >> Ram same to you.
[55:57] >> Uh in covid I talked to you and uh I
[56:02] meditating. I live in you know and I I
[56:05] was meditating
[56:07] and u I found myself standing in the
[56:10] Hanuman temple in India daily I don't
[56:14] know you remember or not so
[56:19] then I I thought what I'm doing in
[56:22] Hanuman temple so I had dashan gi my dad
[56:25] was devotey of hanuman gi then when I
[56:28] talked to you and I found about you
[56:32] you told me read Ramcharit Manas
[56:36] and miracle of love and I'm reading
[56:39] Ramcharit Manas last year I did now I'm
[56:42] reading I'm crying a lot
[56:45] because I didn't know my is the is God's
[56:49] dity is Ram
[56:51] >> the what what was that
[56:53] >> the you know the dity some of the you
[56:56] know the the family by family come you
[56:58] know in India
[57:00] >> like my grandparents
[57:03] because I was devotey of the dura the
[57:06] way I you know the raise in my you know
[57:09] have some of the your personal favorite
[57:11] god in India right.
[57:12] >> Mhm. So because I have dash of dura as
[57:16] well I have so much spiritual you know
[57:18] experience through but when you told me
[57:21] read Ramchit manas it totally changed my
[57:24] life and uh
[57:27] now and every day you know because when
[57:30] I'm crying a lot when I read that uh
[57:32] Ramcharitud manas so they say in India
[57:36] and some of the guru are are here only
[57:39] your guru can uh take you to your dity
[57:43] the viga. So through you I met Ram and
[57:48] Dah Maharaji you know Hanumanji is a
[57:50] leela you can say you know so I will be
[57:53] thankful rest of my life to you and
[57:56] Ramdas and the journey how I come from
[58:01] India and end up here in New York and uh
[58:05] doing kiran and my wife was worried
[58:08] because what's going on what's going on
[58:10] you know and what happened see I bring
[58:14] my father-in-law here to [laughter] do
[58:17] some kitan here. You know,
[58:19] >> he'll keep you straight.
[58:21] >> Yeah. So, thank you so much. You know,
[58:24] he's a blessing and uh and Maraji too.
[58:29] He gave me dan and my wife came last
[58:32] last year too. Me and my wife and he
[58:35] said she said who who's sitting behind
[58:38] there? I said nobody's sitting there.
[58:40] She has a dion as well. So
[58:43] >> we really bless and I'm so emotional
[58:46] right now.
[58:47] >> So thank you.
[58:48] >> Thank you.
[58:49] >> And uh as a guru I I really
[58:53] >> Dan Pam. Thank you.
[58:55] >> Yeah. Thank you.
[58:57] >> Yeah. Ram Cho Manas is a wonderful book.
[59:00] Ramdas gave me his copy to read
[59:03] before I went to India when I first met
[59:05] him. It's so beautiful. You know,
[59:10] westerners, we're only programmed for
[59:12] one kind of love,
[59:15] emotional love. There's other kinds of
[59:18] love. And this book, which is the story
[59:21] of Brahma told in a very devotional way,
[59:26] very open, loving way. It's
[59:27] extraordinary. It really reprograms your
[59:31] your heart and opens us to a a different
[59:35] way of loving, a different kind of love.
[59:38] It's very amazing.
[59:41] Yeah. Really beautiful book.
[59:46] Ram chit manas. The the manuslike lake.
[59:50] The mindlike lake of the stories of Ram.
[59:53] And every chapter is a descent deeper
[59:55] into the lake. It's very beautiful.
[59:59] Very beautiful. Tulsias wrote that. He's
[1:00:02] the one who wrote the hanaman chalisa
[1:00:04] also.
[1:00:11] Yeah. Who has the mic? Okay. You got to
[1:00:15] give a five.
[1:00:16] >> I have Hello. I have the mic.
[1:00:18] >> Hold on one second. Roll off some more
[1:00:21] lows if you can. It's a little bit
[1:00:24] difficult to hear. Okay. Yeah. Hey, my
[1:00:29] name is Koko and my question is when I'm
[1:00:34] chanting I'm usually mumbling and I
[1:00:37] hardly know what the hell I'm saying but
[1:00:39] I put a lot of love behind it.
[1:00:41] >> So if I'm never know exactly what I'm
[1:00:44] saying, how do I keep going forward? Cuz
[1:00:47] I do love it. I pretty much chant every
[1:00:49] day to you in my car, you know, driving
[1:00:52] around. So,
[1:00:53] >> but a lot of time I feel like I'm faking
[1:00:55] the funk.
[1:00:56] >> That's called a thought. Yeah.
[1:00:58] [laughter]
[1:00:59] >> So, but I'm a big time mumbo.
[1:01:01] >> Yeah. Let it go. I don't know what these
[1:01:02] names mean.
[1:01:04] >> Great answer, brother.
[1:01:05] >> Yeah. [laughter]
[1:01:07] >> The real the real meaning of these names
[1:01:09] is your own true nature, you know. Yeah.
[1:01:12] There's a story line with all the names.
[1:01:14] They all come from out of these the
[1:01:17] stories from India. Most of these names
[1:01:19] that we say, but um that's not the real
[1:01:23] meaning. The real meaning is your own
[1:01:27] soul, your own heart. And if you're
[1:01:30] feeling love, that's good. That's a nice
[1:01:32] feeling to have. Just keep chanting. You
[1:01:36] know, you want to spend the next 30
[1:01:38] years studying about what Ram means, you
[1:01:40] can do that, too. Then next life you can
[1:01:43] start chanting again.
[1:01:47] But it's up to you.
[1:01:49] And when you think, what am I doing? I
[1:01:51] don't know what I'm that's called a
[1:01:52] thought. You let go and you come back to
[1:01:54] the sound of the name. That's the only
[1:01:56] thing. The name itself will will reveal
[1:02:00] much to you what's inside of us. We
[1:02:04] don't have to create it. All we have to
[1:02:06] do is pay attention. And as we pay
[1:02:09] attention and get closer to the sound
[1:02:12] and the feeling of the sound, things
[1:02:15] start to happen inside. You don't have
[1:02:18] to, nobody needs to tell you
[1:02:20] You'll find from inside what the truth
[1:02:22] is.
[1:02:25] But don't you're feeling good right now.
[1:02:26] Don't stop if you all of a sudden you
[1:02:28] don't feel good. You got to keep going.
[1:02:31] You have to get through that. Right now
[1:02:34] you might be in a nice little uh what do
[1:02:36] they call it? A
[1:02:38] in the desert where there's a
[1:02:42] >> what?
[1:02:44] >> Oasis. Oh yeah. That's a rock group.
[1:02:46] Yeah. Yeah. You know, but then there
[1:02:49] might be some desert between now and the
[1:02:51] next oasis. So, but if you don't keep
[1:02:53] chanting, you just get stuck in the
[1:02:55] desert. So, you keep going. You can
[1:02:57] always let go.
[1:03:00] That's the amazing thing. Whatever it
[1:03:02] is, you can let go.
[1:03:05] But you have to remember, oh, I can let
[1:03:07] go and come back. But we get so stuck in
[1:03:10] stuff. We believe it. like you're
[1:03:13] practicing and then something happens in
[1:03:15] your life that's very difficult and then
[1:03:17] you just stop practicing and you get
[1:03:19] stuck in that stuff for x amount of time
[1:03:23] and then it passes and you remember oh
[1:03:25] wait a minute I used to do this and you
[1:03:28] start again but you could have kept
[1:03:30] going all through that but it's our
[1:03:33] expectations we're so if we don't feel
[1:03:35] what I want to feel then I'm not going
[1:03:37] to do this well good luck you know So
[1:03:42] you just keep going. Always let go. But
[1:03:45] it's not easy. We're not trained to let
[1:03:47] go. We're trained not to
[1:03:51] know.
[1:03:57] Okay.
[1:04:00] Jes Krishna Das, it's so great to be
[1:04:04] here with you. Uh a little bit about me.
[1:04:07] I grew up in a household where we
[1:04:11] worshiped Lord Ram Hanuman. So grew up
[1:04:15] in a household with Bhajan and Kiran. Uh
[1:04:18] and it came from my grandmom. And today
[1:04:21] I'm here to celebrate her birthday as
[1:04:23] well with you. Her birthday was on
[1:04:25] October 2nd and you're here. So what
[1:04:28] other good way to celebrate her
[1:04:30] birthday?
[1:04:31] >> Yeah.
[1:04:31] >> Um Yeah. in I I came to USA 7 years ago
[1:04:37] and you know my grandmom she did not
[1:04:39] want me to come all this way and uh the
[1:04:43] last time I saw her she was like crying
[1:04:47] and asking me hey don't leave me don't
[1:04:49] leave me and we shared a very very
[1:04:52] beautiful relationship when you describe
[1:04:54] of your relationship with Maharaj gi I'm
[1:04:57] just reminded of my relationship with my
[1:05:00] grandma so yeah I I mean uh she told me
[1:05:04] don't don't leave me and then I came to
[1:05:06] USA. I'm like no granny I have to go I
[1:05:09] have this you know there's so many
[1:05:11] things I want to do and I thought I
[1:05:12] would be coming here
[1:05:14] >> and uh you know time just years flew by
[1:05:19] one year two year three year just used
[1:05:21] to talk to her over the phone and then
[1:05:23] eventually she lost this ability of like
[1:05:26] recognizing me listening to me over the
[1:05:28] phone I was watching I was with her
[1:05:30] through the video calls every day and
[1:05:33] then yeah I mean you know I thought I
[1:05:35] would be able to go back to meet her.
[1:05:38] And then years flew by. One day all of a
[1:05:40] sudden I was woken up in the middle of
[1:05:42] night with the news that she's not with
[1:05:45] us anymore.
[1:05:46] And the other beautiful like you know
[1:05:49] the other thing which happened was that
[1:05:50] the day I lost her just one night prior
[1:05:53] to that I had this dream where I saw my
[1:05:57] grandmom on her deathbed and she had
[1:06:01] this photo. She had held this photo in
[1:06:03] her hand and she was saying that Maraji
[1:06:06] is here to come take me. Maraji is here
[1:06:08] to come take me.
[1:06:10] >> And I was just like woken up and I knew
[1:06:14] that you know my grandmom is not well. I
[1:06:16] just could not comprehend what was
[1:06:18] happening at that time and I had this
[1:06:20] very bad feeling that I'm going to lose
[1:06:22] her. And just the next day uh you know
[1:06:26] after 12 14 hours I got this news. I was
[1:06:29] woken up in the middle of the night with
[1:06:31] the news that she has left us. So yeah,
[1:06:34] I mean you know you helped me to get
[1:06:37] through the pain of losing her but at
[1:06:40] the same time like you know I'm just
[1:06:42] kind of very curious about this
[1:06:43] experience you know coming here finding
[1:06:46] you being reminded of BI and how can I
[1:06:52] just like you know uh keep following it.
[1:06:58] You can sit.
[1:07:01] That's how
[1:07:04] you just have to live your life. All the
[1:07:06] seeds are in there. You just have to
[1:07:08] follow your heart.
[1:07:10] There's no
[1:07:13] there's nothing to join. There's no
[1:07:15] rules and regulations.
[1:07:18] Just be you. Find out what that is.
[1:07:21] That's the best thing. The only thing it
[1:07:25] sounds like your grandmother very
[1:07:26] beautiful and that love will always be
[1:07:29] with you. The love never goes away.
[1:07:33] Bodies come and go. That's what they do.
[1:07:36] But love never goes.
[1:07:46] We can miss the bodies and we do for a
[1:07:49] while, but the love is really what's
[1:07:52] always here.
[1:07:54] It's okay to miss bodies. That's what
[1:07:57] they're for, to be missed.
[1:08:02] Yeah,
[1:08:10] you don't have to. I
[1:08:13] Hi,
[1:08:14] >> thank you for the opportunity. I have a
[1:08:16] my question is about your book.
[1:08:20] >> First I
[1:08:21] >> the Bible.
[1:08:25] >> Oh
[1:08:27] >> yeah. No, that's okay. I I know what
[1:08:29] book. Yeah. Which one is that? Wait. No.
[1:08:31] No. That's not my book.
[1:08:33] >> Yes.
[1:08:33] >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's in what?
[1:08:35] Spanish or Portuguese?
[1:08:36] >> Portuguese.
[1:08:37] >> Ah, but
[1:08:39] Portuguese. Yes. Very good.
[1:08:43] My question is about
[1:08:46] in your book you explain your
[1:08:51] love with your guru. Okay.
[1:08:55] And
[1:08:57] I don't understood
[1:09:00] who teach you be a musician.
[1:09:05] Um
[1:09:07] I saw the I I read the book. I
[1:09:10] understand my but
[1:09:14] you stud musician
[1:09:16] where
[1:09:19] um I love first about your music
[1:09:23] musician.
[1:09:24] >> Mhm.
[1:09:25] >> And the book you don't tell where the
[1:09:29] musician
[1:09:31] your musician is so complex who teach
[1:09:34] you this?
[1:09:38] who teach taught me what uh
[1:09:41] >> be a good musician.
[1:09:42] >> I I don't know if I am a good musician.
[1:09:44] >> No, you are.
[1:09:45] >> Oh, thank you.
[1:09:49] >> Now I know.
[1:09:50] >> No, about this. Use the drums. Use the
[1:09:52] guitar. Bass. Who?
[1:09:57] >> I mean, I've always loved music. Uh
[1:10:01] I took trumpet lessons when I was a kid.
[1:10:05] [laughter]
[1:10:06] I took piano lessons for a few months
[1:10:10] and other than that I just listened to
[1:10:11] music and played I taught myself guitar
[1:10:15] you know I don't know you just absorbed
[1:10:18] it nobody taught me I mean
[1:10:23] you know like when we were asked to come
[1:10:25] to the Grammys
[1:10:27] >> Yes. and we were asked to perform at the
[1:10:31] the smaller Grammys thing which was folk
[1:10:35] music, jazz, blues, world music. It
[1:10:38] wasn't the pop music thing. So
[1:10:42] they set us up on this rolling cart,
[1:10:47] right, off stage and every we were all
[1:10:52] sitting, me, Nina, Steve, who was Mark
[1:10:55] was there, right? uh Arjun I think was
[1:10:58] there. So they set us up on this
[1:11:02] platform
[1:11:04] with the with the speakers, the monitors
[1:11:06] and everything, you know, mixer
[1:11:09] and then we were the first performers
[1:11:12] for this. So they open it and the guy
[1:11:15] intro says hello and then and they roll
[1:11:17] us out on stage [laughter]
[1:11:21] and I looked in the front row and Herby
[1:11:26] Hancock, Pat Matheni, Chick Korea
[1:11:31] and me and my little squeeze box.
[1:11:35] I thought am I really going to squeeze
[1:11:37] this little thing in front of those
[1:11:38] people? [laughter]
[1:11:41] I
[1:11:43] w
[1:11:45] but once I sing everything was okay. So
[1:11:48] but it was a funny moment [laughter]
[1:11:52] and I never prayed so hard
[1:11:57] as I prayed later that day to lose
[1:12:02] not to be not to win the award because
[1:12:05] you had to go up and make a speech in
[1:12:08] front of these people. What was I going
[1:12:10] to say? you know, uh, I learned how to
[1:12:13] squeeze this thing in India and now I do
[1:12:16] it in America. Thank you.
[1:12:20] Anyway,
[1:12:23] uh,
[1:12:26] music is very good.
[1:12:29] It pacifies the beast,
[1:12:33] but it's not enough to free you from
[1:12:35] suffering.
[1:12:37] The name is the medicine. The music is
[1:12:41] the sweet syrup that the medicine is
[1:12:43] hidden in. So we're very spoiled little
[1:12:47] babies. We don't want to take the
[1:12:48] medicine. So with the sweet syrup, we
[1:12:50] take it. And that's what it's for.
[1:12:57] Thank you.
[1:13:03] Mike's over there. Yeah, you have to
[1:13:04] talk to him.
[1:13:07] Yeah, namaskar. Namaskar.
[1:13:10] Um,
[1:13:11] >> how important is to have a guru in your
[1:13:14] life in order to get to the next level?
[1:13:17] Um, because I'm very skeptical. So, I
[1:13:20] also read a lot or watch a lot and what
[1:13:24] I've learned is detachment is the key
[1:13:26] thing. So,
[1:13:27] >> what does that mean to you? means no you
[1:13:29] don't really depend on anything in
[1:13:33] people, family, life, money, anything.
[1:13:36] So
[1:13:36] >> that's absolutely wrong. 100% wrong.
[1:13:39] >> Yeah. Yes. So of course I'm wrong.
[1:13:41] That's why I'm here.
[1:13:42] >> Well,
[1:13:43] another
[1:13:44] >> Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
[1:13:47] [clears throat]
[1:13:47] >> I'm not sure what that mean. No.
[1:13:49] >> So the point is
[1:13:50] >> Yeah.
[1:13:51] >> The being having a guru and then being
[1:13:54] attached to that form, right? Either
[1:13:57] >> that's also a problem. Yeah,
[1:13:58] >> that's a problem. So, how do we kind of
[1:14:01] is it really important to have guru or
[1:14:04] just the chanting and then maybe doing
[1:14:07] what you said four things you know
[1:14:09] >> treating people with love and doing
[1:14:10] whatever you have to do is all really
[1:14:13] can help you uh grow.
[1:14:16] >> Thank you.
[1:14:16] >> You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you. Well,
[1:14:18] first of all, detachment is love.
[1:14:22] Love for everyone equally. That's
[1:14:25] detachment. Attachment makes one person
[1:14:28] closer, another person further away,
[1:14:31] makes some foods more pleasant, some
[1:14:34] things unpleasant. That's attachment
[1:14:36] likes. And the in in the third patriarch
[1:14:40] of Zen Buddhism said, "The great way is
[1:14:43] not difficult for those with no
[1:14:45] preferences."
[1:14:48] So that disqualifies all of us.
[1:14:52] So, but don't think about detachment as
[1:14:55] something cold and that all of a sudden
[1:14:57] you can't care about people and you
[1:15:00] you're the people you you love you don't
[1:15:02] love them anymore and this is wrong.
[1:15:05] Detachment means loving all everyone
[1:15:09] including yourself.
[1:15:11] Okay. When you look in the mirror, you
[1:15:13] don't doubt that you see you right?
[1:15:16] Yeah. You're looking at your guru
[1:15:20] because
[1:15:23] Oh, thought it was a bird.
[1:15:26] You never know.
[1:15:28] Um or a monkey.
[1:15:32] Uh
[1:15:33] yeah.
[1:15:36] Uh guru is ultimately important. Yes.
[1:15:38] Nobody can make any contact any you
[1:15:41] can't advance on the path without guru.
[1:15:44] But guru doesn't mean physical body.
[1:15:47] absolutely does not mean that
[1:15:50] if you if any of us have any desire or
[1:15:53] any longing or any capacity for this for
[1:15:58] spiritual practice or this kind of we
[1:16:01] already have a guru but the guru is
[1:16:03] inside
[1:16:04] guru god and self are not different
[1:16:08] the body that I got attached to that
[1:16:10] wasn't the guru that was the body of the
[1:16:12] guru it's like when when You drive a car
[1:16:16] and it breaks down, you don't cry. You
[1:16:19] just go get a new car. Well, that's what
[1:16:21] a guru does because guru's never
[1:16:24] identified with the body.
[1:16:27] They know who they are. They know what
[1:16:29] they are.
[1:16:31] And they know that they are one with us
[1:16:35] and they know that they're not the body.
[1:16:37] The body is nothing to them. It's a
[1:16:40] vehicle.
[1:16:42] So you don't sit around and wait for a
[1:16:44] guru because that's you because
[1:16:49] everything you do, every thought we have
[1:16:51] is karma is creating karma. Every
[1:16:54] thought. So if you sit around waiting
[1:16:57] for a guru, you're just waiting and not
[1:16:59] doing anything to help yourself. So
[1:17:03] knowing that the guru lives within
[1:17:06] not just me but everybody or God lives
[1:17:10] within everybody. Then you start
[1:17:12] treating people that way and then you
[1:17:16] see your attachments. You like this one
[1:17:18] better than that one. You treat this one
[1:17:20] differently than that one. Right? All
[1:17:22] kinds of things. So you start working
[1:17:24] with that and you start trying to let go
[1:17:28] of those kind of judgments.
[1:17:31] But it's very hard to let go of thoughts
[1:17:33] unless you have
[1:17:36] something to come back to which is what
[1:17:39] we call a practice. So you either have a
[1:17:42] mantra or of the name or whatever mantra
[1:17:45] or or the breath which is always there.
[1:17:48] You don't have to remember it's always
[1:17:49] there even when you're not paying
[1:17:51] attention. So you can always come back
[1:17:53] to the breath. The idea is to come back
[1:17:55] to you again and again and again and
[1:17:58] again and again and again and again and
[1:18:00] again. And little by little we get more
[1:18:04] comfortable and familiar
[1:18:06] what it means what it feels like to be
[1:18:09] at home in ourselves just to be here. It
[1:18:12] expands. It deepens. It gets richer. It
[1:18:16] it juicier thing. It changes. It's not
[1:18:19] just like okay I'm here. No I'm not
[1:18:22] here. It's not like that. Here is
[1:18:24] everywhere but we don't know that. So
[1:18:27] here is where the guru is also
[1:18:33] but we don't we we identify with our
[1:18:36] bodies. So we can't imagine what's
[1:18:39] beyond the body. We can't it's not
[1:18:42] possible because that's where thoughts
[1:18:44] don't go.
[1:18:46] So what are you going to do?
[1:18:49] you're just going to sit around and wait
[1:18:50] you to trip and fall into somebody's lap
[1:18:52] and then you're going to call that
[1:18:54] person a guru. No, you have to start
[1:18:56] right now taking care of yourself,
[1:18:58] honoring your your your karmas, who you
[1:19:00] are, where you are, what people you have
[1:19:02] to take care of, what people you you
[1:19:05] need to to cherish and take care of and
[1:19:07] what you need in your life that you
[1:19:09] don't have and what you have that you
[1:19:11] don't need. You just start cleaning up
[1:19:13] cleaning your room like my mother used
[1:19:14] to tell me. I never did it.
[1:19:18] And now I don't do it either.
[1:19:24] But yeah, no, you don't sit around
[1:19:26] waiting for a guru. But on the other
[1:19:28] hand, without guru, we a guru
[1:19:34] keeps transmitting. It's like a homing
[1:19:36] beacon. You know what a homing beacon?
[1:19:38] It's like you you go up this way. Oh no,
[1:19:39] it's here. And you go there, oh no, it's
[1:19:41] this way. It's like that, but it's
[1:19:43] inside.
[1:19:44] You know what you like and what you
[1:19:47] don't like. You know what you want. And
[1:19:50] if you really examine what you want,
[1:19:53] you'll start letting go of the external
[1:19:55] things and recognize what you really
[1:19:58] want
[1:19:59] is what you really want. We don't have
[1:20:01] to name it right now. And that's where
[1:20:04] you find that's where you connect more
[1:20:06] deeply with the inner guru.
[1:20:09] And
[1:20:11] that's the deal, you know.
[1:20:14] Yes, I suffered terribly because I was
[1:20:16] feeling Maharaji everywhere until I met
[1:20:19] him. Once I met him, I got totally
[1:20:24] when I met him. I fell in love with that
[1:20:25] body. But I was already in love with him
[1:20:28] before I met him. I felt him everywhere.
[1:20:30] After I met Ramdas, I felt him
[1:20:31] everywhere. And then I met him
[1:20:34] physically and I was like, "Wait a
[1:20:36] minute. How does all that fit inside
[1:20:38] that little body?" I couldn't figure it
[1:20:41] out. It was like a whoosh, you know. But
[1:20:45] that passed and I fell in love with the
[1:20:47] body and then I suffered when the body
[1:20:49] disappeared.
[1:20:51] But that was my calmness because that's
[1:20:53] my emotional makeup. Other people have
[1:20:56] different relations. One time Ramdas was
[1:20:59] sitting there
[1:21:01] and Maharaji told Dada who was one of
[1:21:05] his great devote he says go tell Ramdas
[1:21:09] he understands me perfectly.
[1:21:11] because Ramdas was sitting towards the
[1:21:13] back and he was thinking I never have to
[1:21:15] see him again.
[1:21:17] That's the thought he was having and of
[1:21:19] course Maharaji knew that and so he had
[1:21:21] that go tell him he understands me
[1:21:24] perfectly.
[1:21:26] So it's like that we have this romantic
[1:21:30] thing we want to find a guru we want to
[1:21:32] fall in love but that's just
[1:21:34] That's us one once again looking for
[1:21:36] something outside of ourselves. Guru is
[1:21:39] not outside. never has been outside,
[1:21:42] couldn't be outside
[1:21:44] within your life, within your heart,
[1:21:47] within your being is guru.
[1:21:51] So
[1:21:54] there's nothing to wait for. Go ahead.
[1:21:58] Right.
[1:22:20] Where's the mic? Anybody?
[1:22:26] >> Hello.
[1:22:26] >> Hi.
[1:22:27] >> I'm Diana.
[1:22:28] >> Hello, Diana.
[1:22:30] >> First, I want to say thank you.
[1:22:33] >> I want to say you're welcome.
[1:22:36] Um,
[1:22:38] and so Spotify did this really fun thing
[1:22:42] last year at the end of the year where
[1:22:44] it gave you all your, you know, your
[1:22:46] most played song and all that stuff and
[1:22:51] you took the big win for 542
[1:22:55] hours of listening to Christian Boss.
[1:22:58] >> You did. You did
[1:23:00] >> last year. Give her a hand. Come on.
[1:23:01] >> 542 hours.
[1:23:05] >> [applause]
[1:23:05] >> I don't even listen to me that much.
[1:23:07] >> Yeah, it's a it's a lot. I I it was a it
[1:23:10] was a tough year. So, every morning I I
[1:23:12] had made a whole playlist of your chance
[1:23:15] and you have talks just like these from
[1:23:18] 2012 2013
[1:23:21] and I would just listen to them every
[1:23:23] morning and listening to all the stories
[1:23:25] over and and every time I mean I heard
[1:23:28] the story so many times.
[1:23:30] >> Well, think about how many times I heard
[1:23:32] [laughter]
[1:23:34] And um so I just you know thank thank
[1:23:37] you for for being who you are and and
[1:23:39] through that time I realized that right
[1:23:42] because you're always you say a lot in
[1:23:44] the talks how it's it's not you you know
[1:23:47] it's not you're not doing anything
[1:23:50] >> don't believe me [laughter]
[1:23:52] >> but you're this conduit right like
[1:23:54] you're the cond and I and I finally
[1:23:56] awoken to the to the awareness of the
[1:23:59] presence of oh it's Maharaji like that's
[1:24:02] what um that's what I'm feeling like
[1:24:04] that's what I'm connecting to by by
[1:24:07] listening to this. So I I came to that
[1:24:10] awareness. So
[1:24:11] >> cool.
[1:24:12] >> Last year I came and I got here late and
[1:24:18] I walked in and you were telling one of
[1:24:20] my favorite stories of this time that
[1:24:23] you were traveling to go and see
[1:24:25] Maharaji. I think it was in Bindavin. I
[1:24:27] think he said something like, "Well,
[1:24:28] I'll see you in Bindavin." And you and
[1:24:31] you get you finally get there. You got
[1:24:33] detourred and then you finally get there
[1:24:35] and you go in and you're like, "Oh, has
[1:24:37] Maz Maharaji been here?" And you're
[1:24:39] like, "No, he hasn't been here in
[1:24:40] months." And it was, "Oh, this is bad."
[1:24:42] >> You're going to tell the whole story.
[1:24:44] >> No. No.
[1:24:45] >> And then you're going to ask me to tell
[1:24:46] the story after you TOLD IT.
[1:24:48] >> NO. NO. IT LEADS it leads to something
[1:24:50] very good. So, you know, then he
[1:24:52] >> surprise me.
[1:24:55] [laughter]
[1:24:57] >> I was there. I was there. But surprising
[1:25:00] >> I know but the story is about how he
[1:25:02] arrives at your most the moment of
[1:25:05] despair right like the timing [laughter]
[1:25:09] >> and how he would do that all the time
[1:25:11] like how it was play all the time you
[1:25:14] know like he would tell Ramdas you know
[1:25:16] like get rid of anger and I'll help you
[1:25:18] but then orchestrate all these things to
[1:25:20] get Ramdas to be angry
[1:25:22] >> yeah it didn't take much
[1:25:25] >> so the next day
[1:25:27] I have you on in the morning again and
[1:25:29] I'm cleaning my apartment and I'm I'm
[1:25:31] going through trying to give up
[1:25:33] >> clean I'm cleaning music now. Okay,
[1:25:35] [laughter] very good. Thank you.
[1:25:37] >> I'm trying to give up sweets, right? I
[1:25:39] have a a thing with cookies and I like
[1:25:42] >> So do I. How are you going to give up
[1:25:43] sweets if I can't give up sweets?
[1:25:45] >> Well, so you're talking about willpower
[1:25:48] in the talk that was on.
[1:25:50] >> Oh, okay.
[1:25:51] >> And I'm like, you know what? And I have
[1:25:53] this cookie and I'm just in my mind the
[1:25:55] whole time I'm cleaning. And I'm like, I
[1:25:57] really want to eat this cookie,
[1:25:59] you know?
[1:26:00] And finally, I give into it. And the
[1:26:04] moment the cookie hits my mouth, you say
[1:26:08] on the the the the talk, "No more
[1:26:12] sugar." At that exact
[1:26:15] moment as I'm about to eat the cookie
[1:26:18] and I look up and I go, "Maharaji,
[1:26:21] I I know that you're here and you're
[1:26:24] playing with me right now. But I'm still
[1:26:26] gonna eat this cookie. [laughter]
[1:26:30] >> Very good.
[1:26:31] >> So, I just wanted to share that because
[1:26:34] I'm so grateful for the stories, right?
[1:26:37] I'm so grateful for the stories and for
[1:26:39] it to
[1:26:40] >> again awaken in me this play, this
[1:26:43] Leela, and that he's always here
[1:26:47] >> orchestrating
[1:26:48] and in those moments. And that was my
[1:26:50] first direct moment of understanding of,
[1:26:53] oh, right, timing.
[1:26:54] >> Cool. So thank you. I just really want
[1:26:56] to share that story with you.
[1:26:58] >> Do you you know that story that she's
[1:27:00] talking about?
[1:27:01] >> Yeah.
[1:27:02] >> I'll tell you. So [laughter]
[1:27:06] we were in Alahabad and uh at Dada's
[1:27:09] house and uh Ramdas had arrived
[1:27:13] recently. U he'd come to Bodgaya first
[1:27:17] and then we went later. He had been on
[1:27:20] tour with Swami Muktananda
[1:27:22] and he had come to India for his second
[1:27:25] visit with Swami Mktanandanda and then
[1:27:28] he came up to find Maharaji.
[1:27:31] While he was with Swami Muktananda
[1:27:35] he was invite had been invited to do
[1:27:37] this pilgrimage with him in South India
[1:27:39] and he agreed to do that.
[1:27:43] So now he he said to Maharaji he said
[1:27:46] you know I I told Swami Muktananda that
[1:27:48] I I would do this pilgrimage with him
[1:27:50] but I really don't want to go. Do I have
[1:27:52] to go? Mahari said you said you would go
[1:27:55] you have to go. So we me and Romesh and
[1:28:01] Dwara and somebody I think just and
[1:28:04] Ramdas we all took off
[1:28:07] and um Maharaj as we leaving Maharaj
[1:28:10] says I'll meet you in Bindavan.
[1:28:12] So we left Alahabad and on the way south
[1:28:16] we stopped in Bindavan but he wasn't
[1:28:18] there. So we continued on to the south
[1:28:22] for about I don't know three weeks maybe
[1:28:25] maybe a month I don't know traveling
[1:28:27] around it was fun
[1:28:29] and um so now we're heading up north
[1:28:33] [clears throat] and we're we decided we
[1:28:36] will go to Bindavin because that's where
[1:28:37] Maharaji said he would meet us. So we
[1:28:40] drive up north and we finally get close
[1:28:43] to Bindavan but it's nighttime
[1:28:46] and so we stayed just outside of town in
[1:28:49] Krishna's birthplace there was a little
[1:28:51] darn salah
[1:28:53] and in the morning we got up and we
[1:28:56] drove to Bindavan on the way to the to
[1:28:59] the temple I was driving [clears throat]
[1:29:03] and I missed the turn it was a right
[1:29:05] turn on the the road that goes around
[1:29:08] Bindavan it's called the party mark it
[1:29:10] that goes around.
[1:29:12] And as a result of missing that turn, we
[1:29:15] got stuck in the bazaar in the morning
[1:29:18] with cows and carts and people and every
[1:29:22] was so crazy a narrow little road like
[1:29:24] this and we like, you know, so it took
[1:29:27] 15 minutes to get back to the spot where
[1:29:32] I missed the turn and then the temple
[1:29:34] was right there.
[1:29:36] So we get to the temple, we go inside
[1:29:39] and we ask the the pujari, you know,
[1:29:41] Maharaji here? No, we haven't heard from
[1:29:45] him in months. We have no idea where he
[1:29:47] is. Oh, really? This was bad news. You
[1:29:51] know, there were no phones, no cell
[1:29:52] phones. There was even the the landlines
[1:29:55] never worked. What? You had telegrams.
[1:29:58] That's how people communicated important
[1:30:00] things. So somebody would know where
[1:30:03] Maharaji is. We'd people and everybody
[1:30:05] would start showing up, you know.
[1:30:09] So, what are we going to do? Well, let's
[1:30:11] go to Delhi. Maybe they know where he is
[1:30:12] there. We'll ask we'll go to this guy's
[1:30:14] house. And so, we go back to the car and
[1:30:17] I was suicidal. I mean, I was like so
[1:30:20] depressed. I just couldn't believe we
[1:30:22] don't know where he is. We'll never find
[1:30:24] him. And I put the key in the ignition
[1:30:26] and I'm just about to turn the key and
[1:30:30] this little Fiat screeches to a halt
[1:30:32] right next to the car.
[1:30:34] And I look and in the passenger seat
[1:30:37] it's Maharaji.
[1:30:39] And he gets he's right here. He gets out
[1:30:41] of the car and he doesn't even look at
[1:30:44] us and he goes right into the temple. He
[1:30:47] didn't even look at us. We're we're just
[1:30:50] like
[1:30:52] [laughter] and he goes into the temple.
[1:30:53] It was a
[1:30:55] So we go in and we had three beautiful
[1:31:00] days with him. It was nobody else was
[1:31:02] there.
[1:31:03] They hadn't found out he was there yet.
[1:31:05] So we had a couple of three days. Really
[1:31:07] great.
[1:31:10] Many years later, like
[1:31:13] 20 years later, I was with this guy, one
[1:31:17] of his great devotees named Gurak
[1:31:19] Sharma.
[1:31:21] And he says to me, "You remember that
[1:31:23] day that the car we arrived with my I
[1:31:26] was also in that car." I said, "Yeah,
[1:31:29] yeah, that's yeah, I forgot." Yeah. He
[1:31:31] said,
[1:31:32] He said, "I'll tell you the story." He
[1:31:35] said, "So the night before they were in
[1:31:37] Kpur or Lucknau, some town that's quite
[1:31:40] far away,
[1:31:41] and all the devotees were asleep in this
[1:31:44] big room, big living room.
[1:31:48] And in the middle of the night, Maharaji
[1:31:51] tiptoed around everybody and he tried to
[1:31:53] wake Gurudat up, but he couldn't wake
[1:31:55] him up. So he picked him up and he threw
[1:31:58] him over his shoulder and he carried him
[1:32:00] out to the car and put him in the back
[1:32:02] of the car and then they took off in the
[1:32:05] middle of the night and Gurud wakes up
[1:32:08] at some point and like what you know
[1:32:10] where am I? So he gurat said Maharaji
[1:32:14] kept telling the driver go faster go
[1:32:16] faster all night long faster faster and
[1:32:19] the guy's driving in night you know the
[1:32:21] roads you can't see there's no lights
[1:32:22] you can't see anything you know faster
[1:32:25] faster just outside of bindam he said
[1:32:28] stop and he pulls over and gurat said I
[1:32:32] thought it was a peace stop but he just
[1:32:35] sat there for 15 minutes
[1:32:39] and then he goes
[1:32:41] Jello. Let's go. Faster, faster. Go like
[1:32:44] this. And he arrived
[1:32:47] just as I'm about to turn the key.
[1:32:52] Now, I don't know
[1:32:56] if
[1:32:57] if that's not enough to crack your mind,
[1:33:01] nothing will ever be enough. So, we
[1:33:03] might as well give up. Good night.
[1:33:05] [laughter]
[1:33:08] I mean, come on. He did that on purpose.
[1:33:12] Okay. So, he did it on purpose. He could
[1:33:16] do anything. But why would he do that?
[1:33:20] Just to kill us.
[1:33:23] We were in our m moment of such despair.
[1:33:26] I can't describe it to you. We've been
[1:33:28] rolling around this, you know, with
[1:33:29] Maktan Nanda and just dreaming of
[1:33:32] getting back to Maharaji
[1:33:34] and then he's not there. We'll never
[1:33:36] find him. He could be anywhere. And
[1:33:38] sometimes he just disappeared for
[1:33:40] months. He go out of the temple said,
[1:33:42] "I'll be back later." Three months
[1:33:43] later, you know.
[1:33:48] So that's the story
[1:33:51] that she's talking about.
[1:33:54] And that was the time that Ramdas took
[1:33:56] that Maharaja took the acid for the
[1:33:58] second time.
[1:34:00] That's a good story,
[1:34:02] but you don't want to hear that.
[1:34:08] Okay, twist my arm. Go ahead. So, we're
[1:34:12] sitting there with Maharaji
[1:34:15] and he looks at Ramdas and he said,
[1:34:17] "When you were in India last time, did
[1:34:19] you give me medicine?"
[1:34:21] Ramdas said, "Yes."
[1:34:24] Did I take it?
[1:34:26] I think so. Now you see the backstory is
[1:34:31] the first time you know Mahamdas met
[1:34:33] Maharaji the second day he asked him for
[1:34:36] the medicine and he took enough acid to
[1:34:38] put a horse on the moon and nothing
[1:34:41] happened. So that was really big for
[1:34:43] Ramdas.
[1:34:46] But when and when he came back to
[1:34:47] America after that he told everybody the
[1:34:50] story and some people would say come on
[1:34:52] he's he scammed you. He threw it over
[1:34:54] his shoulders and nobody could take that
[1:34:56] much. Now Ramdas didn't think so but
[1:35:00] there really was a little bit of doubt
[1:35:03] in his mind. So Maharaji says did I take
[1:35:07] it
[1:35:09] said yes I think so. Oh, got any more?
[1:35:14] Yes, give it to me. So, Ramdas holds out
[1:35:19] four hits of Sandos or acid, the best
[1:35:22] acid you could ever get. Maharaji goes
[1:35:25] like this. He takes a pill. He goes,
[1:35:38] four times.
[1:35:40] And then he sits there for a minute. He
[1:35:41] says, "Can I drink water? Hot water?
[1:35:44] Cold water? Bring me water." So he drank
[1:35:46] some water. Then after a couple of
[1:35:49] minutes, he takes his blanket and he
[1:35:51] pulls it up over his head. And then he
[1:35:54] goes, he opens it up and he goes like,
[1:35:57] [laughter]
[1:35:57] "Like
[1:36:00] this." I have never seen a purple human
[1:36:04] being before. Ramdas actually turned
[1:36:07] purple right next to me.
[1:36:10] And he thought, "Oh my god, he didn't
[1:36:13] take it the first time." He knew he was
[1:36:16] trying to prove he could do it and now
[1:36:18] I've killed my guru, you know. And he
[1:36:20] was like, he totally lost his mind. The
[1:36:22] minute he thought it, my heart, he just
[1:36:23] laughed and said, "Ah, you know,
[1:36:26] this is nothing for a yogi. Poisons
[1:36:29] can't affect him. This used to grow up
[1:36:31] in the Kula Valley, you know." He said,
[1:36:33] "No problem like that." It was just like
[1:36:37] he said yogis would go they would calm
[1:36:40] their minds down and their bodies and
[1:36:43] bring their mind to one point then they
[1:36:45] would take the soma and go through the
[1:36:48] door.
[1:36:51] You see
[1:36:54] if the mind is all over the place and
[1:36:56] you take these chemicals you you just
[1:36:59] like it's like a crapshoot. Anything
[1:37:01] could happen you go everywhere all these
[1:37:03] things. But when your mind is at one
[1:37:04] point,
[1:37:06] to bring the mind to one point is not
[1:37:08] easy.
[1:37:10] You can't just put your mind somewhere
[1:37:12] and it'll stay there. Our own desires,
[1:37:16] the habits of thinking, the way we treat
[1:37:19] ourselves, our storylines, our whole
[1:37:21] lives are in that moment. And if it's
[1:37:23] not harmonized, you can't do it. It
[1:37:26] doesn't happen. And when your whole life
[1:37:29] is in harmony and your energy and prana
[1:37:32] is in harmony and you place your mind
[1:37:34] there and take the soma, you go through
[1:37:37] the door, but it's a very narrow door.
[1:37:42] So essentially, ashtanga yoga is a
[1:37:46] manual for taking the soma.
[1:37:49] That'll get me in a lot of trouble.
[1:37:55] But that's what he said. Yama yama yama
[1:37:58] nyama asana pranayyama pratihara
[1:38:02] whatever it is I don't know all that
[1:38:04] but you bring you calm the body the
[1:38:07] mind the body the breath then you bring
[1:38:09] the mind to one point and then you go
[1:38:12] through the door and you have samati
[1:38:15] and that's all those things
[1:38:20] so
[1:38:22] anybody got any acid
[1:38:27] I think if I took acid now, my arms and
[1:38:29] legs would fall off. I'm just like
[1:38:33] weird. Ramdas was thinking about taking
[1:38:36] a hit. He got out of the hospital. He
[1:38:38] almost died in the hospital. He
[1:38:40] comes home and he said, "I think I'll
[1:38:41] take some mushrooms." What?
[1:38:43] We didn't let him do it.
[1:38:50] And that wasn't that wasn't too long
[1:38:52] before he left.
[1:38:56] He loved the hospital.
[1:38:59] He loved the hospital. He was so happy
[1:39:00] in the hospital. Lying in bed getting
[1:39:03] taken care of. All the nurses and
[1:39:05] doctors were coming to see him. It was
[1:39:07] just great. He was giving darion in the
[1:39:08] hospital bed. So happy. He didn't want
[1:39:12] to leave.
[1:39:21] Hi, Katie.
[1:39:22] >> Where are you?
[1:39:23] >> I'm all the way over here. Nice to see
[1:39:25] you.
[1:39:26] >> Fancy meeting you here. Um,
[1:39:28] >> thanks for waking me up. [laughter]
[1:39:31] >> So, I became a member of the Cure Tempi
[1:39:33] in January, so maybe everybody else
[1:39:35] knows this. It's more of a curiosity
[1:39:37] than a philosophy question. I've noticed
[1:39:40] you put something in your mouth before
[1:39:41] you start singing, and I'd love to know
[1:39:44] what it is.
[1:39:45] >> Yeah. LSD.
[1:39:46] >> [laughter]
[1:39:49] >> I got a bet with my husband here. So,
[1:39:52] >> uhhuh. It's called ricola.
[1:39:54] >> It's good for your throat.
[1:39:56] >> Awesome.
[1:39:57] >> But it'll ratch your teeth. So, brush
[1:39:58] your teeth if you use it.
[1:40:00] >> Cool. Thanks.
[1:40:01] >> Yeah,
[1:40:01] >> now I know. Maybe I should have never
[1:40:03] asked.
[1:40:03] >> Maybe not.
[1:40:10] >> Oh, what a day. [laughter]
[1:40:14] Anybody else?
[1:40:17] Where are you?
[1:40:18] >> I don't know. Oh, hi. Who's got the mic?
[1:40:22] Somebody have the mic?
[1:40:23] >> Yes.
[1:40:24] >> Where are you? Oh, back there. Okay,
[1:40:25] we'll get
[1:40:26] >> Hello. kind of a followup on the young
[1:40:28] Orthodox Jewish lady's question.
[1:40:30] >> Okay.
[1:40:31] >> Um, why do you think Maharaji and I know
[1:40:34] you he didn't proitize, but why do you
[1:40:37] think he encouraged you to follow his
[1:40:41] cultural way?
[1:40:43] >> He didn't. I I know I know you'll say
[1:40:45] that but somehow it happened that you're
[1:40:48] you're in his way and not and you know I
[1:40:51] know you know his love for Jesus.
[1:40:54] >> Yeah.
[1:40:54] >> And for and your appreciation of the
[1:40:57] balshim to or roomie and it could have
[1:41:01] been any of those cultural paths but it
[1:41:04] but it wasn't
[1:41:06] >> could have been but it wasn't.
[1:41:07] >> Why? Why?
[1:41:08] >> I don't know. And
[1:41:10] have you ever had any you 50 years that
[1:41:13] any struggle not that maybe you weren't
[1:41:16] on the right cultural spiritual path
[1:41:20] >> is my question.
[1:41:21] >> Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. But I don't see it
[1:41:23] as a cultural path at all. It's totally
[1:41:25] personal. My relationship with Maharaji
[1:41:28] is just me and him.
[1:41:30] Uh we were in India so we wanted Indian
[1:41:33] names. So he was kind enough to to be,
[1:41:35] you know, to give us names. But he
[1:41:38] didn't make us Hindus. We're not Hindus.
[1:41:40] He didn't initiate me. I don't have a
[1:41:41] thread. I didn't never did any ceremony
[1:41:44] making me a Hindu. I don't I'm not a
[1:41:46] Hindu. I'm a human being. Hopefully.
[1:41:50] I'm working on it. Let's put it that
[1:41:52] way. So as far as the cultural thing,
[1:41:54] that's not relevant to me. Since you're
[1:41:56] asking me, I'm telling you how I feel
[1:41:58] about it.
[1:41:59] Um,
[1:42:01] I see all the different religions and
[1:42:03] paths as as useful and and leading to
[1:42:06] the same goal. It's just a question of
[1:42:08] your what you what you like. Sometimes
[1:42:12] you feel like a nut, sometimes you
[1:42:14] don't. You know, it's not a big thing.
[1:42:17] It's natural. I was always attracted to
[1:42:19] India right from day one. I always
[1:42:21] wanted to go there and um from a very
[1:42:25] early age
[1:42:27] I I felt very pulled to that and just
[1:42:33] must have been some kind of memory or
[1:42:34] something but I don't know why other
[1:42:36] than that
[1:42:38] it's not exclusive of anything you know
[1:42:41] it's not ma maharaji had devotees from
[1:42:44] all different religions Christians come
[1:42:47] to see him Muslims who come to see him
[1:42:49] siks who come to see him
[1:42:52] people who didn't believe anything would
[1:42:53] come to see him. I mean he was open to
[1:42:55] everybody. There was no
[1:42:58] uh there was no uh requirements you know
[1:43:04] and like somebody was saying with
[1:43:05] grandmother before he used to say when
[1:43:08] you come here to the temple you should
[1:43:10] feel like you're coming to your
[1:43:11] grandfather's house. Everything is
[1:43:13] given. You don't have to do save it to
[1:43:15] eat. You just come everything whatever
[1:43:17] you want. And that's the way it felt. It
[1:43:20] wasn't a Hindu temple for us. It was his
[1:43:22] house,
[1:43:25] you know. It was where he lived. And so
[1:43:27] we that's why we were there. Yeah. There
[1:43:30] was cere there were rituals that were
[1:43:31] going on, but they were nice, but they
[1:43:34] weren't they weren't our main thing. You
[1:43:37] know, our main thing was hanging out
[1:43:38] with him.
[1:43:40] So, okay. Is that okay?
[1:43:44] I mean, you know, there's just not there
[1:43:46] isn't more to it than that. It's not
[1:43:47] like there's some secret meaning in
[1:43:50] anything. It's just
[1:43:52] me and him. It was a personal
[1:43:55] relationship.
[1:43:59] Is personal relationship.
[1:44:01] I remember once I was watching TV late
[1:44:03] at night and one of those infomercials
[1:44:07] came on. You know, you know who Tom
[1:44:09] Landry was? He was the first big coach
[1:44:12] of the Dallas Cowboys. big football
[1:44:15] coach, big well-known guy. So, he comes
[1:44:18] on this infomercial and he asked me
[1:44:21] through the television if I wanted a
[1:44:24] personal relationship with God.
[1:44:28] Yeah.
[1:44:30] He said, "Just call this number 1 800
[1:44:33] God."
[1:44:35] So, I called the number
[1:44:37] and I gave him my credit card number and
[1:44:41] I never got the book.
[1:44:46] Can you believe it? I believe it.
[1:44:50] Personal relationship with the credit
[1:44:52] card company.
[1:44:55] But yeah, Maharaji didn't program us
[1:44:58] like that. It wasn't it was all open and
[1:45:00] free.
[1:45:02] He didn't
[1:45:04] force us to be anything. We didn't wear
[1:45:06] the same clothes. We didn't even like
[1:45:07] each other, you know.
[1:45:10] Really little clicks in the group, you
[1:45:12] know. We don't like those people.
[1:45:16] So,
[1:45:21] yeah.
[1:45:24] Where's the mic? Okay.
[1:45:26] >> Uh, hello. My name is Arsh and I would
[1:45:28] like to thank you first for
[1:45:30] >> Hold the mic a little closer.
[1:45:31] >> Uh, for introducing me to the love uh of
[1:45:35] God and Maharaji. Uh my question is uh
[1:45:38] what should one follow? Should one
[1:45:40] follow the mind which is a little bit
[1:45:43] more practical but uh always fills us
[1:45:46] with regret of not following our heart
[1:45:49] or follow the heart that is more
[1:45:50] rebellious and more it's it's a little
[1:45:52] impractical.
[1:45:57] >> There's not two things going on inside
[1:45:59] of you. There's just you. Figure out who
[1:46:01] you are and figure out what you want and
[1:46:03] go for it.
[1:46:06] It's it's not are you two different
[1:46:08] things? You you talk to yourself in
[1:46:10] different languages every day. Today
[1:46:11] I'll be Indian. Tomorrow I'll be
[1:46:13] American and I'll do this. It's just
[1:46:15] you.
[1:46:17] So
[1:46:21] don't panic.
[1:46:23] Calm your ass down.
[1:46:25] Relax. Life is going to happen whether
[1:46:28] you like it or not. So just be with it
[1:46:30] and see where it takes you and follow
[1:46:32] your heart. Which means not not as
[1:46:35] opposed to the mind.
[1:46:38] The mind is where that interprets the
[1:46:40] feelings that arise but you your
[1:46:42] intuition what what makes you happy and
[1:46:46] combination of what makes you happy and
[1:46:47] what you have to do your
[1:46:48] responsibilities. You have to find some
[1:46:51] way to live inside of both of those
[1:46:53] things at the same time.
[1:47:01] There's people up here in front have
[1:47:03] questions.
[1:47:06] Where's the mic? Oh, he's over there
[1:47:09] already. All right.
[1:47:14] Uh, Prrenam Krishna Das, thank you for
[1:47:17] just having us all here and I just want
[1:47:19] to thank everybody who is here.
[1:47:22] Yesterday evening when everybody was
[1:47:24] singing and you were singing, I felt
[1:47:27] that everybody is singing uh for me to
[1:47:31] get deeper inside me and it was just
[1:47:35] magical and I cannot express in words.
[1:47:38] Uh so just want to thank you. Um the
[1:47:42] question I have is that I always feel
[1:47:46] scared of death all the time and
[1:47:50] >> I'm sorry you missed that. What's that?
[1:47:51] that you always
[1:47:52] >> feel scared of death.
[1:47:54] >> Scared of death.
[1:47:56] >> Death.
[1:47:56] >> Uh-huh.
[1:47:57] >> And when I the more I sit with myself,
[1:48:00] the more I realize death is the only
[1:48:03] reality and it will come to me, my dear
[1:48:06] ones whom I love. And I just don't know
[1:48:09] how to deal with that emotion and
[1:48:13] constant fear of death.
[1:48:32] Wait till you get old. Then you really
[1:48:35] get scared.
[1:48:40] I don't know.
[1:48:43] It sounds like you're more afraid of
[1:48:44] life than death, actually.
[1:48:48] And you're using that to just kind of
[1:48:50] shut yourself down.
[1:48:53] >> I don't know.
[1:48:54] >> I don't know either. How will I know?
[1:48:56] It's you.
[1:48:58] But um
[1:49:02] I mean,
[1:49:05] you know, it's inevitable, right, for
[1:49:08] everybody. Everybody in this room's
[1:49:10] going to die
[1:49:12] probably.
[1:49:14] Yeah. You see, everybody's going to go.
[1:49:17] So there's no sense even thinking about
[1:49:19] it. Just live every day.
[1:49:22] Make every day the best day of your life
[1:49:25] though
[1:49:26] because
[1:49:28] sometime come you won't be able to tell
[1:49:30] the people you love that you love them
[1:49:32] anymore.
[1:49:33] So take the opportunity now to live
[1:49:36] fully.
[1:49:38] You know that's this is the shot you
[1:49:41] have.
[1:49:42] >> Yeah.
[1:49:43] >> So you might as well take it,
[1:49:45] right?
[1:49:47] Amen.
[1:50:03] Death is of the physical body
[1:50:07] that we identify with that. So it seems
[1:50:10] like a big thing to us because we
[1:50:13] identify we think we are our bodies, our
[1:50:16] minds, our emotions that so the body's
[1:50:19] gone then we're gone. What a surprise
[1:50:22] it's going to be
[1:50:25] that when the body goes we still be here
[1:50:28] at night when you're sleeping
[1:50:30] your body you're not aware of your body
[1:50:33] but you're quite
[1:50:36] aware in dream you're living in dreams
[1:50:39] and that seems totally real to you right
[1:50:42] if you die in a dream you weep and cry
[1:50:45] if somebody dies in a dream and then you
[1:50:47] wake up oh it's just a dream
[1:50:49] Well,
[1:50:52] they say this is a dream, too.
[1:50:55] The one we're stuck in, just like at
[1:50:57] night, you that's totally real to you
[1:50:59] when you dream,
[1:51:01] right?
[1:51:03] If we wake up from this, we say, "Oh, I
[1:51:06] really thought that was real. It was
[1:51:07] just a dream. It doesn't make it
[1:51:10] unimportant.
[1:51:12] It doesn't mean we don't do the best we
[1:51:14] can. It doesn't mean we don't live the
[1:51:16] best way we can. It doesn't mean we
[1:51:18] don't treat people well, don't treat
[1:51:20] ourselves well, but
[1:51:27] there's a quality about it.
[1:51:30] It's always changing.
[1:51:35] But inside of all that change, there's a
[1:51:38] thing in in us that's very real. Our own
[1:51:41] true nature,
[1:51:44] who you really are is never is not the
[1:51:47] dream. It's not the experiences we have
[1:51:50] in our daily lives.
[1:51:53] But in order to u
[1:51:57] become more aware of that, one has to do
[1:52:00] something. One has to look you know it's
[1:52:04] not
[1:52:28] like I told you the story at the very
[1:52:29] beginning about that old baba
[1:52:31] The old yogi
[1:52:33] Krishna came to him and said come play
[1:52:34] with me in Bindavan. So he dropped the
[1:52:37] body and went to bind went to play with
[1:52:38] Krishna. The body is nothing for him.
[1:52:41] These great beings they don't they're
[1:52:43] not like us. We think this is real.
[1:52:47] You know we really do.
[1:52:51] So if this is real, if this is our shot,
[1:52:55] if this is what we have, then maybe we
[1:52:58] should do the best we can.
[1:53:00] right right now. Maybe we should try to
[1:53:04] overcome those kind of fears and really
[1:53:06] live and really give ourselves to life
[1:53:09] and really
[1:53:11] open up and and be with the people we
[1:53:14] love and share that love with them and
[1:53:17] don't have so we won't have regrets when
[1:53:19] we take our last breath.
[1:53:21] Right? When you take your last breath,
[1:53:23] you're going to know, "Oh, I was
[1:53:25] so scared of this. I didn't do all
[1:53:26] that time and I wanted to watch
[1:53:28] television and I never did. I was too
[1:53:31] afraid. But you didn't want that. You
[1:53:34] want to live now.
[1:53:37] And
[1:53:40] that's how you go through the day.
[1:53:42] That's important.
[1:53:54] Yeah. I mean there's a lot to say about
[1:53:56] that but main thing is the quality of
[1:53:59] your life you're responsible for that.
[1:54:05] So if you allow if we allow ourselves to
[1:54:08] be
[1:54:10] paralyzed by fear of one thing or
[1:54:13] another, it could be death, it could be
[1:54:15] life, it could be you might be afraid
[1:54:17] across the street, all kinds of things.
[1:54:23] It behooves us to work with that stuff,
[1:54:26] you know, because we can we can you
[1:54:30] don't have to be a victim of that stuff.
[1:54:33] That's some
[1:54:35] program that's running in there, you
[1:54:37] know, some some some storyline that we
[1:54:41] get caught in. It it doesn't have to be
[1:54:44] like that. We have the power within
[1:54:48] to overcome those kind of things and
[1:54:51] learn to let go of them and
[1:54:54] live good lives despite the fact that
[1:54:57] it's true everybody's going to die. But
[1:54:59] what do you do? You just like stop
[1:55:01] eating now? No, you can't.
[1:55:05] There's a We're impelled by our life
[1:55:10] situation to keep going on. So, we
[1:55:13] should try to go on the best way we can.
[1:55:16] Whatever that means to you because
[1:55:17] that's what you have to find. What does
[1:55:18] that mean? Yeah. You might live to be 3
[1:55:22] million years old. You go like, "Shit,
[1:55:23] when I was 40, I was so scared. Now I'm
[1:55:26] 3 million. I'm still here. I wasted so
[1:55:28] much time."
[1:55:31] Right?
[1:55:37] It depends you know on on the other hand
[1:55:39] there's there's meditation practices
[1:55:41] where you meditate on the dissolution of
[1:55:43] the body
[1:55:46] you you visualize the blood and the pus
[1:55:49] and the goo and the the grime and the
[1:55:52] slime as it disintegrates and gets eaten
[1:55:55] by bacteria and worms and just this is
[1:55:59] what
[1:56:00] brings real love to your
[1:56:05] But that's that's the advanced practice.
[1:56:13] So yeah,
[1:56:19] you can get a vote as to how you go
[1:56:21] through the day,
[1:56:23] but you have to
[1:56:26] don't try to push the fear away. Be with
[1:56:29] it.
[1:56:31] See where it is. See where it comes
[1:56:32] from. Be with it. It'll go away.
[1:56:36] It's just it's a trip. Your karmas are
[1:56:39] running on you. But you can you don't
[1:56:41] have to be tricked by that.
[1:56:45] Good luck.
[1:56:51] [clears throat]
[1:56:54] >> Pranam Krishna Das. Thank you for your
[1:56:56] grace.
[1:56:56] >> You're related to her.
[1:56:58] >> Yes.
[1:56:58] >> No. two questions from one family
[1:57:00] [laughter]
[1:57:03] >> but as you said uh spirituality is in
[1:57:06] personal it's not a family relationship
[1:57:10] [laughter]
[1:57:11] >> okay
[1:57:12] >> uh I've started meditating and questions
[1:57:16] are dropping uh from inside
[1:57:20] but uh still I have uh I would like to
[1:57:22] know the more I read about Ramdas and
[1:57:25] you I feel that you both are very
[1:57:28] different personalities and uh your
[1:57:32] journeys have been very different
[1:57:33] through in spirituality.
[1:57:36] Uh he seems to be more of a meditative
[1:57:38] kind of a person and you more of have a
[1:57:40] surrender and love. Uh just want to know
[1:57:44] your uh your your views on it like how
[1:57:48] do you see your journey
[1:57:51] and Ramdas's journey?
[1:57:54] any interesting stories that in the way
[1:57:58] in the difference between your journey
[1:57:59] and his journey would be also like I
[1:58:01] would love to hear.
[1:58:02] >> He was a lot smarter than I am that's
[1:58:04] all that's for sure. But the journey was
[1:58:07] the same. It's a journey of surrender
[1:58:09] into Maharaji.
[1:58:11] No different. He talked a lot. I sing a
[1:58:14] lot.
[1:58:16] That's the only difference. We're both
[1:58:18] devotees of Maharaji and both of us
[1:58:23] we want to be in that love all the time.
[1:58:27] same thing.
[1:58:36] He's older,
[1:58:38] not just physically. I mean, you feel
[1:58:40] he's more
[1:58:45] expansive in a way. Maharaji looked at
[1:58:48] him one day said, "Ramas, you're the
[1:58:51] commander-in-chief.
[1:58:52] Krishna, you're the general."
[1:58:55] Okay. So he's the commander-in-chief.
[1:59:01] So there's but when it came to loving
[1:59:04] Maharaj, he was very he really
[1:59:07] especially in those last years.
[1:59:24] He really melted into him beautifully.
[1:59:26] Really.
[1:59:30] One time uh
[1:59:33] every once in a while he gets stuck in
[1:59:34] his head. You know, one time on Monday
[1:59:37] mornings they went to the beach
[1:59:40] where he was able to get in the water
[1:59:41] and be free of the weight of the body.
[1:59:43] You know, 20 years in a wheelchair,
[1:59:47] very difficult. So he would get in the
[1:59:49] water with these tubes and floats and be
[1:59:53] free from the body weight. So I would I
[1:59:56] would catch up with him later in the day
[1:59:57] because I sleep late.
[2:00:01] And I So I get to the beach and I'm
[2:00:03] walking towards the beach and I see he's
[2:00:05] sitting in a car in the other the edge
[2:00:06] of the parking lot.
[2:00:09] So I walked over and the door was open
[2:00:13] by his seat and he was just stewing. He
[2:00:17] was just like
[2:00:23] just sitting there like that. So I stood
[2:00:24] there and for a minute and
[2:00:27] he looked over at me. He goes, "I'm a
[2:00:29] fake
[2:00:32] and you're a fake, too."
[2:00:35] So I just looked him. I said, "Yeah, but
[2:00:38] we're real fakes." He just he just lost
[2:00:42] it. It was great.
[2:00:50] you know
[2:00:52] Dr. around us who because he's American
[2:00:57] and western.
[2:00:59] We don't
[2:01:02] He was a saint. He really was. He was
[2:01:06] really
[2:01:08] uh he was a lotus that grew out of the
[2:01:10] mud. And yeah, there was a lot of mud,
[2:01:14] but he grew out of that mud. It was very
[2:01:17] beautiful.
[2:01:20] But we have a
[2:01:22] I I remember when my friends were going
[2:01:25] up to see him for the first time and
[2:01:27] they asked me did I want to see this guy
[2:01:29] you know Richard Albert who's now Ramda
[2:01:31] said no you know American yogis what do
[2:01:34] I care about that
[2:01:37] once an always an
[2:01:40] so there you go
[2:01:47] anybody
[2:01:50] Where's the mic? Oh, okay.
[2:01:53] >> Um,
[2:01:57] how would you
[2:02:00] describe your um
[2:02:03] experience
[2:02:05] of
[2:02:08] this stuff?
[2:02:09] >> Of what?
[2:02:11] >> This stuff. Maharaji, your time in
[2:02:14] India.
[2:02:15] um between coming back from India
[2:02:20] and um
[2:02:23] having the the experience the idea that
[2:02:26] you wanted to sing with people. I've
[2:02:29] always been curious about how these
[2:02:32] teachings felt to you in that time in
[2:02:36] between.
[2:02:38] I was suicidal a lot of the time, very
[2:02:42] depressed, very unhappy
[2:02:46] because being with Maharaji, I I I
[2:02:49] experienced love in a way I had never
[2:02:52] experienced it before.
[2:02:54] And I got attached to his body. So when
[2:02:57] the body wasn't there, where was I going
[2:02:59] to find that love?
[2:03:01] It wasn't I wasn't going to find it
[2:03:02] anywhere.
[2:03:04] I had lost it and it was gone.
[2:03:08] ultimately gone. There was no second
[2:03:11] coming. It was over.
[2:03:14] It was brutal for me. It took me a long
[2:03:17] time.
[2:03:20] And then they saved me. I didn't I
[2:03:22] couldn't save myself. They saved me. He
[2:03:25] came back to me and opened me up again.
[2:03:31] I I was helpless. I'm still helpless. I
[2:03:34] just look like I'm not.
[2:03:36] I can't do It's all them. I don't
[2:03:40] have I mean, I can sing a little bit.
[2:03:43] That's it.
[2:03:45] They They saved me. And 1984,
[2:03:50] was it four? 1984. Yeah, 1995. No, 90
[2:03:58] something. Some year around there.
[2:04:02] It's in my book.
[2:04:06] the whole story.
[2:04:08] He came back and he opened me up and
[2:04:10] that was like being born again. He's
[2:04:12] like, "Okay, let the kid live."
[2:04:16] But I was helpless.
[2:04:21] I really was. I couldn't do it. There
[2:04:23] was nobody in my my family, my wife.
[2:04:27] There was nobody doing anything. I had
[2:04:30] no
[2:04:32] examples of anybody taking care of
[2:04:33] themselves.
[2:04:36] It was really
[2:04:38] bleak for a lot of years.
[2:04:42] And the suffering that I caused other
[2:04:44] people because I was so unhappy was also
[2:04:48] terrible.
[2:04:50] But I couldn't help myself.
[2:04:55] What can I say? Then they just they just
[2:04:58] boom. And then it all changed.
[2:05:05] And it's not like I'm not saying I
[2:05:06] deserve that. That would be ridiculous.
[2:05:11] Grace is grace. Nobody deserves grace or
[2:05:14] it wouldn't be grace.
[2:05:16] It would be something you earned. But
[2:05:18] grace is causeless. It just happens.
[2:05:23] And it happened. And I happened to be
[2:05:26] there. But here we are.
[2:05:30] That's the deal.
[2:05:35] So when I say it's difficult
[2:05:39] to get this together and do something
[2:05:41] that's actually good for ourselves, I
[2:05:44] mean it.
[2:05:46] It's difficult. It's very hard to
[2:05:49] overcome the flow of stupidity that we
[2:05:51] call life.
[2:05:53] you know, bouncing off of this, bouncing
[2:05:57] off of that day after day, never waking
[2:06:00] up, never taking care of ourselves,
[2:06:02] never going after the things we want.
[2:06:07] That's what we do.
[2:06:09] Oh, this is terrible.
[2:06:12] I apologize.
[2:06:15] What to do? You push a button, you get
[2:06:17] what you get. Nothing I can do about it.
[2:06:20] Yeah.
[2:06:24] Oh, wait, wait. You don't have the
[2:06:25] microphone. You can't talk.
[2:06:26] >> The mic happens to be here.
[2:06:29] >> You'll get it. Okay, just wait your
[2:06:31] turn.
[2:06:32] >> Okay.
[2:06:33] >> Where's the mic? Ah, hello.
[2:06:35] >> Hi. Um, could you speak a bit more about
[2:06:40] the context when Mahar Raji shared
[2:06:43] courage is a real big thing?
[2:06:45] >> Let me just say one thing about that
[2:06:46] whole rant I just did.
[2:06:49] Even all through that,
[2:06:53] the longing to be in his presence
[2:06:57] was fiercely, deeply intense. It never
[2:07:03] went away for a second.
[2:07:05] So,
[2:07:08] I'm just saying it's not like I was just
[2:07:10] sitting around off. I was
[2:07:13] burning with longing
[2:07:16] and they came.
[2:07:19] Okay.
[2:07:22] Yeah.
[2:07:24] Um you have been sharing Maharaji saying
[2:07:29] courage is a real big thing.
[2:07:33] Can you talk a bit more about that?
[2:07:35] >> What don't you understand?
[2:07:39] What what's what's I mean if there was a
[2:07:41] simple statement that's it
[2:07:44] you know when he said that to me the
[2:07:46] Indian guy said oh baba god takes care
[2:07:48] of his devotees
[2:07:51] courage it's a really big thing
[2:07:53] sometimes it's all you you just have to
[2:07:55] go for it
[2:07:56] >> okay how did you collect it and
[2:08:01] just
[2:08:05] how did you take the leap
[2:08:07] >> I didn't you You know, every time I was
[2:08:10] just about to step off the cliff, he
[2:08:11] he'd moved the cliff.
[2:08:14] You But I was What could I do? I was
[2:08:16] just up day after day after day.
[2:08:18] Every time I up, he unfuck it.
[2:08:22] But you just got to go up. You
[2:08:24] can't do anything else.
[2:08:27] You want it, go for it. That's the
[2:08:29] thing. One of the things that happened
[2:08:31] was the uh the when I was with that
[2:08:34] young baba the 163 year old guy
[2:08:39] one day he looked at me and he said he
[2:08:42] made this face and he goes
[2:08:45] you have to develop willpower and I
[2:08:48] thought to myself willpower what do I
[2:08:50] need that for? Then he made a bigger
[2:08:52] face because he heard he knew my
[2:08:55] thought. He heard and then he did
[2:08:57] something and he showed me what he was
[2:09:01] seeing in me and then I made a face
[2:09:04] because I saw me and I wasn't doing
[2:09:07] anything. I wasn't going after the
[2:09:08] things I wanted in life.
[2:09:14] I was just floating.
[2:09:16] And then I saw this just my life, you
[2:09:19] know? This is not like worldly life and
[2:09:21] spiritual life. This just me and I'm not
[2:09:23] doing How do I expect something to
[2:09:26] happen in this world if it's not
[2:09:27] happening if I'm not going after this
[2:09:29] stuff? And I thought, you know,
[2:09:33] willpower. You want something. You want
[2:09:35] the ice cream in the freezer. So your
[2:09:37] hand, your arm, your will picks up your
[2:09:40] arm, you open the door, you take the ice
[2:09:42] cream, and you throw in your face, you
[2:09:44] know.
[2:09:46] your desire and the will. The word for
[2:09:49] which willpower is it the the power to
[2:09:53] re realize your desires.
[2:09:55] So why wouldn't you do that?
[2:10:00] Courage. You need courage. That's what
[2:10:02] he was telling me. I wasn't doing it.
[2:10:06] And that's what he said. You need
[2:10:07] courage to go after the things you want.
[2:10:11] Nobody can do it for you.
[2:10:14] That's the good news and the bad news.
[2:10:21] Get that guy in the back before he has a
[2:10:23] coniption.
[2:10:27] Can What a word is conipion, right?
[2:10:29] That's a great word. I haven't heard
[2:10:31] that since I said it last time 40 years
[2:10:33] ago.
[2:10:35] Hi.
[2:10:40] >> Hello. My name is
[2:10:42] >> Yeah,
[2:10:43] >> my name is Yani L. And
[2:10:47] >> just a little closer. That's
[2:10:50] >> And I want to ask for a moment of
[2:10:54] silence
[2:10:56] for 250 people who just got killed in
[2:11:00] Israel in the last day.
[2:11:03] 1,500
[2:11:05] wounded from the attacks of the Hamas.
[2:11:09] Not only in Israel, all over the world,
[2:11:12] people get wounded, people get killed.
[2:11:16] So I would ask for a moment of silence
[2:11:20] for the memory. Thank you.
[2:11:23] >> Okay.
[2:12:32] >> [clears throat and cough]
[2:12:51] >> Hi Katie. Um, I've been uh listening to
[2:12:56] you since co and you've brought me a lot
[2:12:59] of comfort, particularly your personal
[2:13:03] stories as I feel like I really relate
[2:13:06] to some of the despair and u
[2:13:11] difficulty that you've had um bringing
[2:13:15] yourself into a space of more peace and
[2:13:18] awareness and um yeah, I think I was
[2:13:22] just
[2:13:24] wanted to ask if you other than chanting
[2:13:27] the name if you have any other
[2:13:30] suggestions for someone who's working as
[2:13:34] actively as possible to develop more of
[2:13:36] that kind of awareness.
[2:13:38] Thanks.
[2:14:06] You just follow your heart as best you
[2:14:08] can
[2:14:09] to lead you back to yourself.
[2:14:15] Maharaji never encouraged us to do
[2:14:17] practice for our own sake.
[2:14:21] He never encourages the practice at all.
[2:14:24] He said, we asked him, "How do you find
[2:14:27] God?" He said, "Serve people." What?
[2:14:31] How do you raise condolini? Feed people.
[2:14:34] What?
[2:14:37] He never encouraged us to think about
[2:14:39] ourselves,
[2:14:40] but all we do is think about ourselves.
[2:14:46] So don't
[2:14:50] How not? Well, that's where practice
[2:14:52] comes in.
[2:14:56] All we do is think about ourselves all
[2:14:58] lifelong.
[2:15:00] And then we dream about ourselves.
[2:15:03] Then we take another body and do it
[2:15:04] again.
[2:15:08] So now we're here. We have some idea of
[2:15:12] what we're doing to ourselves.
[2:15:15] So let's do something else.
[2:15:18] Let's look into this a little bit.
[2:15:23] How do you want to go through your life?
[2:15:24] How do what do you want to feel?
[2:15:28] And how to overcome all the things that
[2:15:30] prevent us from having that love and
[2:15:32] living in that love?
[2:15:35] If we don't do it, it's not going to
[2:15:36] happen.
[2:15:38] It's not like you have to manufacture
[2:15:40] the love. The love is always here. We
[2:15:42] just have to stop turning away from it.
[2:15:47] We have to look towards it and it's
[2:15:50] inside already
[2:15:54] but it's all the stories
[2:15:56] all that stuff we cover it up with which
[2:15:59] we believe totally much more than we
[2:16:01] believe the love is there we believe all
[2:16:04] the stories which is why we never get
[2:16:06] underneath them why we can't let go. So
[2:16:09] when you're chanting you're asked to do
[2:16:11] one thing chant.
[2:16:14] You can't. You're thinking about this.
[2:16:16] You're thinking about that. Okay. Then
[2:16:18] you come back for a millisecond. Then
[2:16:20] you're gone again. Then you come back
[2:16:22] for a millisecond. Then you're gone
[2:16:23] again. Then a week later, you come back
[2:16:26] for a millisecond. Then you're gone
[2:16:27] again. Every time you come back, the
[2:16:30] neural pathways in the brain get a
[2:16:31] little deeper. And theoretically, it
[2:16:34] gets a little easier.
[2:16:36] You just keep coming back again and
[2:16:38] again. And little by little we get more
[2:16:41] familiar with what it means to be here.
[2:16:44] And then we look out at the world and we
[2:16:47] see other people
[2:16:50] and um
[2:16:52] we see how hard it is for me to get this
[2:16:55] together, how hard it must be for them.
[2:16:58] And then you start to feel some kindness
[2:17:00] and compassion for others. And then
[2:17:02] you're thinking about yourself less so
[2:17:04] you feel better.
[2:17:06] And it's a cycle.
[2:17:09] And then it becomes easier to help other
[2:17:11] people because you're thinking about
[2:17:13] them and not yourself.
[2:17:18] And you see what people do to
[2:17:19] themselves.
[2:17:21] You don't see that until you see what
[2:17:22] you do to yourself.
[2:17:26] So
[2:17:29] little by little
[2:17:43] >> [snorts]
[2:17:48] >> Ramas used to say how the stroke saved
[2:17:50] him.
[2:17:52] You know, very hard.
[2:17:55] He suffered terribly. He never
[2:17:56] complained.
[2:17:58] But he used to say how the stroke saved
[2:18:00] him. And he had this core
[2:18:03] of stuff he just could not get to. And
[2:18:06] it was pushing him around
[2:18:09] and keeping him
[2:18:14] in not the best place. But when he had
[2:18:17] the stroke,
[2:18:19] he had no option. There was no escape.
[2:18:23] It was over. The door was closed. He He
[2:18:27] was He couldn't do anything for himself.
[2:18:30] He couldn't eat. He couldn't
[2:18:33] he he couldn't turn himself in bed
[2:18:35] anymore. He couldn't get from the chair
[2:18:36] to the wheelchair. Couldn't wipe his own
[2:18:39] ass. He couldn't do anything. He had to
[2:18:41] surrender again and again, more and
[2:18:44] more. And he kept surrendering and he
[2:18:48] found Maharaji.
[2:18:52] Without the stroke, that wouldn't have
[2:18:53] happened for him. And he knew it.
[2:18:57] And at first he used to say it was
[2:18:59] fierce grace. Maharaji stroked him. But
[2:19:03] when he went to India the only time he
[2:19:05] went after the stroke Siddima
[2:19:08] immediately said to him Ramdas Maharaji
[2:19:11] didn't give you the stroke. He would
[2:19:13] never do anything like that. The stroke
[2:19:16] is your karmas.
[2:19:19] What he gives you is the grace and the
[2:19:22] strength to overcome the effects of
[2:19:25] those karmas.
[2:19:28] and
[2:19:30] really enter into a deeper space. And he
[2:19:32] did.
[2:19:34] He was a real hero.
[2:19:55] >> [snorts]
[2:20:00] >> I don't have the mic. Don't look at me.
[2:20:04] >> Hello.
[2:20:05] >> Where are you? Ah,
[2:20:07] >> I have a question um to you about
[2:20:10] psychedelics.
[2:20:13] >> Do you believe this is an eligible tool
[2:20:16] for spiritual growth?
[2:20:20] >> I believe I wouldn't be here if it
[2:20:22] wasn't for psychedelics.
[2:20:24] I took peyote after my junior year in
[2:20:26] high school
[2:20:28] and it totally ruined my life
[2:20:31] [laughter] because I couldn't get
[2:20:32] anymore.
[2:20:34] Uh it showed me, you know, I had this I
[2:20:37] I had no doubt what I was experiencing
[2:20:40] was infinitely more real than Long
[2:20:43] Island.
[2:20:47] So it wasn't that big a jump you know
[2:20:51] but um there's no doubt that
[2:20:53] psychedelics can uh give you a glimpse
[2:20:56] into different dimensions
[2:20:59] but do they destroy the karmas that
[2:21:03] create your own suffering? I don't think
[2:21:06] so.
[2:21:08] Maharaji himself said the yogi medicine
[2:21:12] LSD brings you into the room with Christ
[2:21:16] but you can't stay.
[2:21:21] If you don't mind keep getting thrown
[2:21:23] out of on your ass then keep doing it
[2:21:26] but eventually you'll want to stay in
[2:21:27] the room and the way to do it he said is
[2:21:30] love.
[2:21:32] So he's very clear about that. He wasn't
[2:21:36] judgmental about it. In fact, he told
[2:21:37] Rau to give it to his father when he was
[2:21:40] there.
[2:21:42] Give him a dose of the yogi medicine
[2:21:45] and it changed his life.
[2:21:47] And
[2:21:49] you know that's all I can say. I mean I
[2:21:52] think it's it can be useful. It can show
[2:21:56] those of us who are totally locked into
[2:21:58] the physical, emotional, mental reality
[2:22:00] that there's other realities. But can
[2:22:04] you stay there?
[2:22:07] I don't think so. Even if you dose
[2:22:09] yourself every day, sooner or later
[2:22:12] you'll get your body will fall apart and
[2:22:14] that'll be that. You have to start again
[2:22:15] somewhere.
[2:22:17] So the question is does it destroy the
[2:22:20] root of suffering? And I don't think the
[2:22:22] answer is yes. I think it's no. I don't
[2:22:25] think it does. But that's what I know. I
[2:22:29] don't Ram does
[2:22:33] I'm pretty sure he would agree with me.
[2:22:39] He took he was on acid when he had the
[2:22:41] stroke.
[2:22:43] And because he was on acid, he didn't
[2:22:45] realize he had a stroke.
[2:22:47] He had taken the acid and he said,
[2:22:49] "Okay, now I have to write a book on
[2:22:50] aging. Let me let me imagine that I'm
[2:22:55] I'm old." And he took the stroke and he
[2:22:58] was he took the acid and he was you know
[2:23:00] and then while he was on the acid he he
[2:23:02] had a stroke
[2:23:04] but he had stopped taking his blood
[2:23:07] pressure medicine
[2:23:09] before that. So his blood pressure went
[2:23:11] through the roof and he had a stroke.
[2:23:15] That's karma.
[2:23:18] He stopped taking the medicine. He was
[2:23:20] going to start Chinese medicine but he
[2:23:22] never did. And the days went by. Boom.
[2:23:26] Boom. Boom.
[2:23:30] So
[2:23:39] sometimes karmas just make us do things
[2:23:41] that
[2:23:43] we don't even realize what we're doing.
[2:23:48] We
[2:23:53] we think we know what we're doing.
[2:23:56] But we don't we don't realize the
[2:24:00] results of our actions, what they could
[2:24:01] be. Of course, how do we
[2:24:05] but
[2:24:12] like Maharaji said for a yogi no poison
[2:24:14] can affect him. He was beyond those
[2:24:17] things. He's beyond those states.
[2:24:21] Maharaji was.
[2:24:24] So he knew what he was talking about
[2:24:27] and that's what he said. He can bring
[2:24:29] you into the room with Christ.
[2:24:31] That sounds good, but you can't stay.
[2:24:35] That sounds bad.
[2:24:37] If you want to stay the way it is love,
[2:24:40] that sounds good.
[2:24:42] So that's the deal as far as I can tell.
[2:24:52] But I think you know this micro doing
[2:24:54] thing I think it's it's probable that it
[2:24:56] can be helpful
[2:24:58] uh
[2:25:00] disentangling some of the uh the
[2:25:03] knee-jerk emotional issues that we have.
[2:25:07] Maybe it gives it can give insight into
[2:25:09] some of those things which would free
[2:25:11] you from some of that stuff.
[2:25:14] But
[2:25:17] but who knows in the long run what it
[2:25:21] does.
[2:25:24] I found that it crippled my will
[2:25:29] without realizing it. I mean of course I
[2:25:31] was dosing myself every day.
[2:25:35] I would take peyote all week and then at
[2:25:37] the in the weekends I would hit myself
[2:25:39] with a thousand mics of sandos acid.
[2:25:43] and just be 36 hours in bliss.
[2:25:49] And I was lying on my bed one day kind
[2:25:52] of coming back and just gazing out the
[2:25:55] window.
[2:25:59] I felt something coming towards me.
[2:26:03] What is this
[2:26:05] coming closer and closer? What is this?
[2:26:09] What? What? What? Oh no. a thought
[2:26:13] and then I was thinking
[2:26:16] and then it it was leaving don't go
[2:26:19] don't go don't
[2:26:23] and then some time later
[2:26:28] no you know slowly more quickly uh and
[2:26:33] then all there was was a flow of thought
[2:26:34] again I was back
[2:26:38] I was sound.
[2:26:41] It was amazing.
[2:26:55] >> Yeah.
[2:26:57] >> Hi, Katie.
[2:26:58] >> Hi.
[2:26:58] >> I'm wearing my foreigner shirt for you.
[2:27:01] I want to know what love is. It was my
[2:27:02] mom's favorite song. So, when you were
[2:27:04] singing that, I love it. And I'll make
[2:27:07] this really quick. When I found it, I
[2:27:09] went into this like music store in Nyak
[2:27:13] and I had seen it somewhere else and
[2:27:15] then I saw a guitar that was named where
[2:27:18] I lived in Laurel Canyon and I had
[2:27:20] recently lost my home in Laurel Canyon
[2:27:22] to mold, which is part of where my
[2:27:24] question is going to go. Um,
[2:27:27] and then the guy in the store, we
[2:27:29] somehow wound up talking and he's like
[2:27:31] did all these paintings of rock stars
[2:27:34] and then he had like a painting of me
[2:27:35] and Cruy Baba.
[2:27:38] >> So I had to go back and get the shirt
[2:27:40] >> of foreigner because it all linked to me
[2:27:42] that day. But I had recently lost my
[2:27:44] home from mold, like my dream home
[2:27:48] >> and I left. I came back um here, my
[2:27:51] dad's here, he's having health issues.
[2:27:53] Basically my question is um I what do
[2:27:57] you do when you feel like you lost
[2:27:59] everything? Like I've heard you describe
[2:28:01] it as it's all like burning away. It
[2:28:04] feels like that and you're in just like
[2:28:07] an anxiety of like so much anxiety with
[2:28:10] a transition. And I do my practice. I've
[2:28:12] been chanting with you for for years
[2:28:14] every Thursday. I've studied yoga. I a
[2:28:17] martial artist. I I have tools but the
[2:28:20] anxiety is like so strong.
[2:28:24] That's if you have any advice.
[2:28:27] >> Yeah,
[2:28:33] there's a really interesting book by a
[2:28:35] Tibetan llama. His name is Mingur
[2:28:37] Rimpache and the book is called the joy
[2:28:40] of
[2:28:42] what is it? Living. Joy of living. Yeah.
[2:28:47] Joy of living. And he he describes how
[2:28:50] as a child he was having these
[2:28:53] incredible panic attacks,
[2:28:56] paralyzing attacks, and he was
[2:28:59] recognized as a reincarnated llama like
[2:29:02] a three and treated like a prince his
[2:29:05] whole life. And but he was having these
[2:29:07] panic attacks. And he writes very
[2:29:10] beautifully about how he worked with it,
[2:29:13] how he overcame them. And maybe I think
[2:29:15] that'll help you. Um
[2:29:21] this these there's a lot of the these
[2:29:24] those kind of
[2:29:27] those issues very deep very hard to deal
[2:29:31] with because they're so
[2:29:33] knee-jerk they don't you don't think
[2:29:35] about they hit you you know and how to
[2:29:37] deal with that underlying anxiety that
[2:29:40] fear
[2:29:42] but um sometimes chanting and practice
[2:29:45] is not enough. You know, sometimes you
[2:29:47] have to go talk to somebody who has a
[2:29:50] way of helping you through getting a
[2:29:53] relationship with it, getting learning
[2:29:55] about it,
[2:29:57] finding space with it is very big thing.
[2:30:01] The llama talks about that very good.
[2:30:05] There's no quick button to push.
[2:30:08] This is this is this moment.
[2:30:11] And um
[2:30:14] one of the things he says is that it
[2:30:16] wasn't so much the the panic attack
[2:30:18] itself, it was the fear about the panic
[2:30:21] attack
[2:30:23] that was more paralyzing in a way.
[2:30:27] So there's a lot to be said about this,
[2:30:29] but and there are people who really deal
[2:30:31] with these things. So I would whatever
[2:30:33] is going to help you, go for it. You
[2:30:35] know, don't don't just say I'm a yogi. I
[2:30:37] don't do that You know the
[2:30:39] therapist can be a yogi who does that
[2:30:41] So it might be good.
[2:30:46] So you can't meditate yourself away.
[2:30:50] You know, you want to get here and on
[2:30:54] the way here there's all kinds of
[2:30:56] obstacles and one of these obstacles is
[2:30:58] your anxiety. So there's so many ways to
[2:31:02] deal with these things. But
[2:31:06] one of the llamas I studied with talks
[2:31:08] about the handshake practice.
[2:31:10] So when you feel that anxiety coming on,
[2:31:14] you go, "Oh, hi.
[2:31:18] How you doing? I I know you don't you
[2:31:21] were here just yesterday, right?" Yeah.
[2:31:24] Well, you want some tea? Come on in. You
[2:31:26] know, have a seat. What's up? you know,
[2:31:29] and the minute you you see it,
[2:31:33] you're already, you know, not in it the
[2:31:37] same way.
[2:31:39] But it's
[2:31:42] that kind of practice, you have to be
[2:31:44] right on it. You know, once it hits you,
[2:31:46] like anger or fear or shame, one of
[2:31:49] those when those things hits you and
[2:31:51] you're in it, there's very little you
[2:31:52] can do except suffer until it decides to
[2:31:55] go. But if you can catch it early
[2:31:58] enough.
[2:32:00] Oh, hi. Yeah, that's you. Okay. Yeah, I
[2:32:04] know you. Yeah, you were just here.
[2:32:06] you. Come back. You know, here have a
[2:32:08] seat.
[2:32:09] And then you lose some of your fear
[2:32:11] about it, you know, because that's
[2:32:13] because not only are you you have the
[2:32:15] anxiety, but you have anxiety about
[2:32:17] anxiety and that just like, you know,
[2:32:20] that's a double whammy.
[2:32:22] So,
[2:32:29] How when are we supposed to stop this
[2:32:32] torture?
[2:32:35] This has been a very unusual afternoon,
[2:32:37] I have to tell you. I'm not cranky, but
[2:32:40] I don't know what I am today. Anyhow,
[2:32:42] where's the mic?
[2:32:45] And there's another way to deal with
[2:32:47] this. Sitting in the back of the room is
[2:32:48] David Nickton
[2:32:50] who has a uh Dharmamoon
[2:32:54] meditation
[2:32:56] organization and they teach and train in
[2:32:59] mindfulness and meditation. Very good
[2:33:02] organization, good practice, good
[2:33:04] teaching and you can look that up
[2:33:06] dharmoon.com
[2:33:09] and uh they know how to how to share
[2:33:12] that practice and how to open it up for
[2:33:15] you. And uh
[2:33:21] the mindfulness practice is a very
[2:33:23] powerful practice
[2:33:25] and they they're very good at teaching
[2:33:27] that and sharing that. So if you're
[2:33:29] interested in that, you can go to
[2:33:30] dharmamoon.com.
[2:33:41] >> Hello.
[2:33:42] >> Where are you?
[2:33:42] >> Hi.
[2:33:43] >> Ah, you got the mic. How'd [laughter]
[2:33:44] you do that?
[2:33:46] Um, I have to write this down because
[2:33:48] I'm really nervous.
[2:33:49] >> You are.
[2:33:50] >> Um, sometime sometimes people have come
[2:33:54] into my life if I'm doing hobbies or I'm
[2:33:58] doing my volunteer work and I start
[2:34:02] getting a feeling of insecurity
[2:34:05] um like this feeling that I'm going to
[2:34:07] be replaced
[2:34:09] um for whatever the reason. Um, and it's
[2:34:13] a very overwhelming feeling in real time
[2:34:16] even though I have a practice and um,
[2:34:19] but it feels like I'm sinking in
[2:34:21] quicksand. It gets over overwhelming.
[2:34:25] Um, and my question was when you were in
[2:34:28] the presence of Maharaji and his
[2:34:30] devotees and probably a lot of people
[2:34:33] coming and going
[2:34:36] um, and searching for his attention.
[2:34:39] Did you ever have a sec insecurity like
[2:34:41] that or know of people who had
[2:34:44] insecurities like that? And if you did,
[2:34:48] what were some tools you did to overcome
[2:34:51] them?
[2:34:57] Why do you think I tell people not to
[2:34:59] quit their day jobs?
[2:35:01] I don't want any competition.
[2:35:04] I might take my job.
[2:35:08] Uh I don't know. I I mean I don't know
[2:35:11] how to apply that what you one part of
[2:35:14] your question to the Maharaji thing. I
[2:35:15] mean that was
[2:35:17] we we weren't insecure. We would kill
[2:35:19] anybody who got between us and his feet.
[2:35:22] I mean you know
[2:35:24] fighting you know to get there. But that
[2:35:27] wasn't insecurity. It was just lust.
[2:35:31] Lust for the feet
[2:35:35] of the guru.
[2:35:38] And he would just laugh. He would say,
[2:35:40] he'd say, I have the keys to the mind. I
[2:35:43] could turn your minds against me. Ah,
[2:35:46] no, don't do that. You know, he'd say,
[2:35:49] I'll transfer you. Transfer. No, Bob,
[2:35:52] don't do that. And he would laugh. Ah,
[2:35:54] but he did. He transferred every single
[2:35:56] one of us back to America, wherever we
[2:35:59] came from.
[2:36:02] What to do? Um,
[2:36:06] I I don't know what that has to do with
[2:36:08] job security, you know. I'm not quite
[2:36:10] getting that com that connection.
[2:36:14] You want to help me with that?
[2:36:18] It's just a feeling that somebody
[2:36:21] might be better than me,
[2:36:23] >> smarter than me,
[2:36:26] >> um, in my hot, it happens in things that
[2:36:30] I like to do.
[2:36:32] >> Like I like to go scuba diving. If there
[2:36:34] are other people that come along,
[2:36:37] >> there's not enough water.
[2:36:38] >> There's not enough water. [laughter]
[2:36:40] Exactly.
[2:36:42] Um or it's in my I do a lot of volunteer
[2:36:46] work that is
[2:36:47] >> there's always somebody to help. Don't
[2:36:48] worry about it.
[2:36:51] >> You can help me. I need help.
[2:36:53] >> Yeah.
[2:36:55] I just I feel
[2:36:58] I feel replaced. I feel like somebody
[2:37:01] comes along and that spotlight is on
[2:37:05] them
[2:37:07] and I don't find where I fit anymore
[2:37:14] and
[2:37:15] it makes me avoid doing the things that
[2:37:19] I love to do. It makes me avoid doing
[2:37:21] service work because I certainly don't
[2:37:23] want to do service work if it brings
[2:37:27] harm or bring if I bring such a
[2:37:31] a thing to serving people. I don't want
[2:37:34] to do that.
[2:37:37] >> Um
[2:37:41] and I don't I I don't know how to
[2:37:44] overcome it.
[2:38:11] You know, I I really don't know what to
[2:38:13] tell you. I mean, I other than the usual
[2:38:17] thing, you got to have courage. If you
[2:38:20] don't do what you don't want, if you
[2:38:21] don't do what you want to do, then what?
[2:38:22] you know, but there's something in in
[2:38:25] you that's giving you a hard time. It's
[2:38:27] not from the outside. It's, you know,
[2:38:30] some version of yourself that you don't
[2:38:32] like. Um,
[2:38:45] you know, maybe when you get fed up
[2:38:48] enough with yourself, you'll just go out
[2:38:50] and say, "Fuck it. I'm going to do what
[2:38:51] I want.
[2:38:54] just get more fed up. Don't do anything
[2:38:56] for a long time until you're just
[2:38:58] burning with getting out there to help
[2:39:00] somebody.
[2:39:01] >> Well, I started doing my own outreach.
[2:39:04] >> Uhhuh.
[2:39:04] >> Because I couldn't
[2:39:06] >> Mhm.
[2:39:07] >> I couldn't feel like I was in
[2:39:08] competition anymore.
[2:39:10] >> So, I did my own thing because I
[2:39:12] couldn't go a week without doing
[2:39:16] something and serving and connecting
[2:39:18] with people.
[2:39:20] >> Yeah.
[2:39:23] When I first started singing, I mean
[2:39:24] years ago, we would have
[2:39:28] what we call the keran walls.
[2:39:31] You know, everybody was trying to shine
[2:39:35] brighter than the next the person behind
[2:39:37] them. It was terrible. But you just keep
[2:39:39] singing. It all goes away, you know.
[2:39:43] Um
[2:39:52] yeah,
[2:39:56] we all do so much damage to ourselves.
[2:39:59] All of us. None of us really
[2:40:04] are shining as much as we really could
[2:40:06] shine.
[2:40:07] There's so many reasons. Everybody has
[2:40:09] reasons not to shine in a good way.
[2:40:12] shine, you know, for our own self.
[2:40:14] Really, our own doubts about ourselves,
[2:40:16] our own fears
[2:40:20] makes us human. A big deal,
[2:40:24] you know, but you know,
[2:40:31] just really try to listen to yourself
[2:40:34] underneath all that stuff, what you what
[2:40:36] you need to do.
[2:40:38] You know, nobody can tell you what's in
[2:40:41] your heart, but you have to kind of find
[2:40:44] that
[2:40:46] place where it's just you and then you
[2:40:49] don't care about what anybody says or
[2:40:51] how they are. You're doing what you have
[2:40:53] to do, whatever that is. If it means you
[2:40:56] have to go do your own thing, then do
[2:40:58] your own thing.
[2:41:00] But
[2:41:02] at the same time, do we want to be
[2:41:03] pushed around by our stuff all the time,
[2:41:05] you know, and never
[2:41:08] get free of that. So it's
[2:41:12] just keep calming yourself down if you
[2:41:14] can, you know, just you don't have to do
[2:41:16] like practice. Just like chill. Just let
[2:41:20] everything just go.
[2:41:23] Just see [snorts] who you are. See what
[2:41:24] you want.
[2:41:28] you writing your life now. No, but it's
[2:41:30] not every day is new. Every moment is
[2:41:33] new. You're free to do what you want.
[2:41:36] So, you got to find out what that is and
[2:41:39] how you want it to do.
[2:41:52] Of course, on the other hand, it's all
[2:41:54] written already.
[2:41:57] So it just depends how you look at it.
[2:42:09] >> There are people who don't like me.
[2:42:10] Believe it or not,
[2:42:13] can you believe it?
[2:42:16] [laughter]
[2:42:18] I don't give a
[2:42:20] So them,
[2:42:22] you know. So good. Knock yourself out.
[2:42:27] You know who cares.
[2:42:43] >> Hello.
[2:42:45] >> Where are you? How are you?
[2:42:48] >> Uh I I have
[2:42:50] >> It's okay.
[2:42:51] >> So So I think you said three things. You
[2:42:54] said you have to have courage to go
[2:42:56] after what you want.
[2:42:58] >> Mhm.
[2:42:59] >> Don't think about yourself and serve
[2:43:01] others.
[2:43:03] >> And also, you don't do anything. God
[2:43:05] does everything.
[2:43:06] >> Every one of those things is true.
[2:43:09] Good luck. H
[2:43:10] >> how do you how do you reconcile those
[2:43:13] three things?
[2:43:14] >> You don't. You just go ahead.
[2:43:20] >> Yeah. I mean
[2:43:27] those are different levels. They don't
[2:43:29] reconcile on this level.
[2:43:32] On one level there's no one. Nothing
[2:43:36] ever happened. Nothing ever will happen.
[2:43:37] It's all one. Period. There's nobody,
[2:43:40] nothing. And that's true. Then there's
[2:43:43] other levels where you think you are who
[2:43:45] you think you are. And that person has a
[2:43:47] lot to do.
[2:43:49] Then there's another level where
[2:43:50] everything's already done and you're
[2:43:53] just following the script blindly, but
[2:43:55] you think you're doing it. Each level
[2:43:57] has its own relative reality
[2:44:00] and they're true, but you can't uplevel
[2:44:04] in your mind. You think you are who you
[2:44:08] think you are right now. That's who you
[2:44:11] think you are.
[2:44:13] And that's the level of reality we're
[2:44:16] stuck in. On that level we make
[2:44:18] decisions. We need courage. We know all
[2:44:21] kinds of things. We need food. We need
[2:44:23] sleep. We need shelter. We need all
[2:44:25] kinds of things. On that level
[2:44:27] definitely need without those things we
[2:44:28] die. So that's true.
[2:44:32] But on another level which is also
[2:44:36] a a different level of reality. You are
[2:44:39] not who you think you are.
[2:44:42] Not even close. There's no thought
[2:44:44] whatsoever. You are soul.
[2:44:47] You're a being.
[2:44:49] You
[2:44:51] you know there it's a whole other level
[2:44:52] of reality but that's not where we live.
[2:44:54] So on the level you live on level we
[2:44:56] live on we have
[2:44:59] things we need to do. Things need to be
[2:45:01] taken care of. You need to breathe for
[2:45:04] instance. Try living without breathing.
[2:45:07] Very difficult.
[2:45:10] or eating or sleeping or doing various
[2:45:13] other bodily functions with or without
[2:45:15] other people
[2:45:17] difficult. So according to this world,
[2:45:20] the world that we live in, who we think
[2:45:22] we are, there's things we need to do.
[2:45:25] One of those things is to have courage
[2:45:27] and go for what we want in our hearts
[2:45:30] because no one else will give it to us
[2:45:31] if we don't go for it.
[2:45:35] That's the basics of our daily life.
[2:45:41] and
[2:45:42] based but did Maharaji who seemed to be
[2:45:46] living on the same world as us. He was
[2:45:49] in a physical body. I saw him eat
[2:45:54] etc.
[2:45:55] But was he living in the same world as I
[2:45:57] was living? No,
[2:45:59] not even close. But he could be here.
[2:46:03] But his reality was completely
[2:46:05] different. Also true for that reality.
[2:46:08] In a sense, it's more true than this
[2:46:10] one. But this is the one we're stuck in.
[2:46:13] This is the bandwidth we're stuck in. In
[2:46:15] this bandwidth, we have to act a certain
[2:46:17] way. You have to stop at the red and go
[2:46:19] with the green or your history.
[2:46:22] So you have to learn the rules of of
[2:46:25] engagement here. How to do it the best
[2:46:28] way.
[2:46:29] So,
[2:46:32] but you can't sit here and say it's all
[2:46:34] done. There's nothing to do. Then you
[2:46:36] starve to death, right? You you you you
[2:46:40] could say that to yourself, but your
[2:46:42] body will tell you that you better go
[2:46:43] eat something. So, you're forced to
[2:46:45] action. We're impelled to do certain
[2:46:48] things by our hormones, by our bodies,
[2:46:50] by our emotions, and our thoughts.
[2:46:53] That's this world.
[2:46:55] There's nothing wrong with it. It's not
[2:46:57] ultimate reality, but it's where we are.
[2:47:00] So, we have to learn how to navigate
[2:47:01] this in the best way possible,
[2:47:04] which will ultimately lead us
[2:47:08] to real love and real truth.
[2:47:12] So,
[2:47:22] yeah. You don't tell people, oh, your
[2:47:25] suffering is not real. You know, you
[2:47:27] know that's no that's not it's real. It
[2:47:30] may not be
[2:47:34] true. Like one teacher of mine who said
[2:47:38] he was in a plane on the way to
[2:47:39] Kathmandu from Delhi and it flies in
[2:47:41] these valleys right you know like seems
[2:47:44] to be inches away from the mountains of
[2:47:46] the wing t and he was paralyzed with
[2:47:48] fear and he realized wait a minute the
[2:47:50] fear is real I'm feeling it but is it
[2:47:54] true? I mean, did we are we going to hit
[2:47:57] the thing? No. So, there's two things.
[2:48:00] There's real, that's who you think you
[2:48:02] are, and then there's true, which is who
[2:48:04] you really are, which we don't know.
[2:48:07] But we have to honor the feeling of the
[2:48:10] real feelings we have is in this moment.
[2:48:13] That's who we are.
[2:48:25] Hi. Um,
[2:48:28] >> where?
[2:48:30] >> Going back to this idea of attachment.
[2:48:32] >> Wait, jump up and down. I don't know
[2:48:34] where you are. Oh, back there. Okay. Hi.
[2:48:36] >> Hi.
[2:48:37] >> Okay, you can sit now.
[2:48:39] >> Uh, going back to this idea of
[2:48:41] attachment when we fall in love with
[2:48:44] like one person and not another and like
[2:48:46] that's very real experience. So, what is
[2:48:49] that?
[2:48:50] >> Good question. You know, one time I was
[2:48:55] I don't know if I was there or if I
[2:48:56] heard it. Maharaji was sitting with some
[2:48:58] of his old devotees and there was one
[2:49:01] guy there who was absolutely the
[2:49:03] sweetest man that I ever met in my life.
[2:49:06] Just
[2:49:07] extraordinary. And he turned to him and
[2:49:09] he pointed to him. He said, "He was my
[2:49:11] enemy in our last life."
[2:49:15] So we're attracted to people. We don't
[2:49:18] know why.
[2:49:20] One time this this um
[2:49:25] this Buddhist master came out of the
[2:49:27] jungle with some of his disciples
[2:49:30] to beg for food. That's what they did
[2:49:33] once a day. And they're approaching this
[2:49:36] village
[2:49:37] and they they stop and the master smiles
[2:49:41] and his disciple says, "Oh great one, a
[2:49:44] master doesn't smile without a cause.
[2:49:47] What is the cause of that smile?" That's
[2:49:48] the way Buddhists talk.
[2:49:51] thousands of years ago.
[2:49:55] What is the cause of this smile? And so
[2:49:57] the master points to this, he says, "See
[2:50:00] there? What do you see?"
[2:50:02] And the guy says, "Well, I see this hut
[2:50:05] and there's this young woman sitting out
[2:50:07] in front of the hut nursing her baby and
[2:50:10] she's holding a piece of meat and she's
[2:50:13] kicking the dog to keep him away from
[2:50:14] the meat." And he said, "Just so. Just
[2:50:17] so." She's nursing her enemy, eating her
[2:50:21] ex-husband, and kicking her former child
[2:50:23] to keep him away from the meat,
[2:50:27] right?
[2:50:29] The person you attract to could have
[2:50:31] been somebody that you wanted to
[2:50:33] kill last life, you know, and then you
[2:50:35] tripped over him in this life. Oh, hi.
[2:50:38] Yeah, you.
[2:50:41] And that's what we call love. Terrific.
[2:50:47] You never know. You just never know. So,
[2:50:50] you have to pay some attention.
[2:50:53] But it's beyond our pay grade. We just
[2:50:56] do the best we can.
[2:51:01] Well, it's 5:36.
[2:51:04] We were supposed to stop at 5:30.
[2:51:08] So, any more questions?
[2:51:13] No more Indian people.
[2:51:17] They ask all these long questions.
[2:51:24] Okay. Wait, wait, hold the mic. Where's
[2:51:26] the mic? Okay, we're coming there. Go
[2:51:30] ahead.
[2:51:31] >> Yes. So, I had this experience two years
[2:51:34] ago where I was like at my lowest point
[2:51:37] in life and I felt like I was the only
[2:51:39] way I can describe is I was saved by God
[2:51:41] and I felt and I'm not really religious
[2:51:43] but I felt this
[2:51:45] >> God isn't religious either don't worry.
[2:51:47] >> Yeah. I felt that truth where for the
[2:51:49] first time I just truly realized I am
[2:51:51] God and God is love and I am that love
[2:51:54] and it's it was like I was in another
[2:51:57] dimension. And I know knew that so truly
[2:51:59] even though before that I was associated
[2:52:00] with God with religion and I like didn't
[2:52:02] want to touch that
[2:52:04] >> and that led me on a spiritual journey
[2:52:06] over the last two years and really
[2:52:08] opened my heart and my mind um and but I
[2:52:13] I've never felt to that same level of
[2:52:14] depth I felt in that moment. You know I
[2:52:17] can talk about it. I can share this
[2:52:19] experience.
[2:52:20] >> It's a memory now.
[2:52:21] >> Yeah. Exactly.
[2:52:22] >> That's the way it works.
[2:52:23] >> But the question I have is like how do I
[2:52:25] stay there? And
[2:52:26] >> you don't you didn't do it in the first
[2:52:28] place. You think now you're going to do
[2:52:29] it again.
[2:52:31] >> It was a gift. Enjoy it. Do the best you
[2:52:35] can to live according to them. But those
[2:52:38] those hits we get we get for a reason,
[2:52:40] but they don't stay. They don't stay.
[2:52:44] You can't. You didn't do it in the first
[2:52:46] place. Now what are you going to How you
[2:52:48] going to How you going to do it now?
[2:52:50] Surrender. That's what it's called. Give
[2:52:53] up. Just be with it. enjoy.
[2:52:57] Try to
[2:53:01] stay in contact with it as much as you
[2:53:03] can. But you, you know, don't try too
[2:53:06] hard. That'll just it up.
[2:53:09] Just be you live.
[2:53:11] Already your path is different because
[2:53:13] of that. Your life changed because of
[2:53:16] that. So what what do you want to do?
[2:53:18] You're going to micro micro this and
[2:53:20] that. I'm okay. And then 338 and 42
[2:53:23] seconds that happened. And now there's
[2:53:24] 43 seconds of that happen. I'm going to
[2:53:25] do it. I'm going to do it. Just chill,
[2:53:28] relax, breathe, live, be happy or not.
[2:53:34] There's nothing to do. You didn't do
[2:53:37] anything to make it happen the first
[2:53:38] time. What do you think you can do now?
[2:53:42] Right. Except take it easy.
[2:53:46] Is that hard? Yes.
[2:53:49] But good luck.
[2:53:55] Give the mic to somebody else, please.
[2:53:58] [laughter]
[2:54:03] >> Those Indian people over there.
[2:54:04] >> Those Indian people.
[2:54:14] >> Um, I have a request, not a question. Uh
[2:54:17] I'm here with my husband and my
[2:54:19] four-year-old son who has been very well
[2:54:21] behaved throughout this session. Very
[2:54:22] good. Hello.
[2:54:23] >> That's because I promised him that
[2:54:25] there's he's going to see Hanuman Dada
[2:54:27] here and you're going to sing.
[2:54:28] >> But he was turning impatient. He came
[2:54:30] all the way here that why is he not
[2:54:32] singing?
[2:54:33] >> So could you please tell him that you're
[2:54:35] going to sing and that I was not lying
[2:54:38] to him.
[2:54:40] [laughter]
[2:54:42] >> Hi
[2:54:44] somewhere.
[2:54:46] over the rainbow. I just sank. Um,
[2:54:51] boy, what pressure.
[2:54:54] You're not coming tonight. He's He's too
[2:54:57] late. Oh, poor baby. It's too late for
[2:54:59] him tonight, huh?
[2:55:02] >> Okay. He doesn't like attention. So, if
[2:55:05] I got that feeling, please don't look at
[2:55:06] me. [laughter]
[2:55:08] >> But, uh, no, you
[2:55:11] >> go take care of yourself, son.
[2:55:12] >> Yeah. Thank you.
[2:55:22] Oh,
[2:55:25] >> don't you feel it? It's brutal.
[2:55:30] Oh,
[2:55:32] if we could only cry like that for for
[2:55:34] love, we'd be enlightened.
[2:55:41] But we're too cool what to do.
[2:55:45] Okay, just a couple of more.
[2:55:49] >> Okay.
[2:55:52] >> Hi Katie.
[2:55:54] >> Um,
[2:55:57] you said today that it took you 21 years
[2:56:00] from you had that thought of I'll see
[2:56:03] you with people. Um
[2:56:08] and you have shared several times that
[2:56:11] in those 21 years you passed through a
[2:56:13] sort of dark night of the soul with
[2:56:16] addictions and hard stuff. I was
[2:56:19] wondering um I was I grew up in a
[2:56:22] Catholic very conservative macho Latino
[2:56:26] culture where
[2:56:29] um guilt and shame and these sort of
[2:56:33] things were the daily kind of thing that
[2:56:36] we heard when we went to church things
[2:56:38] like that
[2:56:39] >> and in through the years after
[2:56:42] practicing I keep coming back to a sort
[2:56:44] of wall into these things in daily way
[2:56:48] of living with relations, family,
[2:56:50] friends, and kind of um would you say
[2:56:54] like self-sabotaging myself and going
[2:56:56] into this back loop loops of guilt and
[2:57:01] shame. Um can you tell us a little bit
[2:57:04] about your experience with these kind of
[2:57:06] situations when they are longlasting and
[2:57:09] they just feel so hard?
[2:57:12] I I the thing is those are programs that
[2:57:16] are running and you know they're still
[2:57:17] running in you but you're aware of it.
[2:57:20] If you're aware of it it's not the same
[2:57:21] as being completely stuck already. So
[2:57:24] you just stay aware of of that and you
[2:57:27] just keep letting go of it and trying to
[2:57:30] see how you're programmed, you know, and
[2:57:33] just noticing it. You can't stop the
[2:57:35] programs from running. You can just let
[2:57:37] them run. But once you notice them,
[2:57:40] they're very different.
[2:57:42] So you you the will doesn't there's
[2:57:45] nowhere to stop a thought. How do you
[2:57:46] stop it? Where do you you shoot it?
[2:57:48] Where is it? You know, but you can let
[2:57:50] go.
[2:57:52] But you have to there's have to be some
[2:57:54] intention there, you know. You don't
[2:57:56] don't,
[2:57:57] oh, it's just a program that's running
[2:57:59] blah blah blah. No, you have to sit with
[2:58:00] it, really see it clearly,
[2:58:04] and just give it some love. Let it go.
[2:58:07] Release it. And then see the suffering
[2:58:10] of the people who are stuck in that in
[2:58:12] your family that they have no freedom
[2:58:16] from that stuff. It runs their lives
[2:58:18] completely. And then have some gratitude
[2:58:20] that it doesn't run your life
[2:58:22] completely. And that's a good thing to
[2:58:24] do.
[2:58:26] So
[2:58:27] >> thanks.
[2:58:32] Oh,
[2:58:35] >> do we have time for one more?
[2:58:38] >> Yeah. Okay, I'm not picking. Somebody
[2:58:40] pick. I can't tell.
[2:58:45] >> Tell me when.
[2:58:46] >> No.
[2:58:47] >> Okay. Who is it?
[2:58:49] >> KD.
[2:58:50] >> Where are you?
[2:58:51] >> Over here.
[2:58:52] >> Oh, your camera.
[2:58:53] >> Hi. Um, just a question maybe for
[2:58:56] another time. you could just want to ask
[2:58:58] it since I'm here and you could just
[2:59:00] ruminate on it and any Thursday night
[2:59:03] let it come out. Um [clears throat]
[2:59:08] there's a lot of breakdown from CO as
[2:59:12] far as hospital care and people wanting
[2:59:15] to go to work and entitlements and all
[2:59:18] kinds of
[2:59:20] things like that. But one in Washington
[2:59:22] and all in the financial markets is AI
[2:59:25] and deep learning.
[2:59:27] where it seems like the value is let's
[2:59:29] do it quicker, faster, better.
[2:59:32] Artificial intelligence is 8 billion
[2:59:35] times. We can do it faster. We can do
[2:59:37] our homework better. It's a it's a real
[2:59:40] um
[2:59:43] just I feel it everywhere and I hear it
[2:59:44] all the time like more money faster. And
[2:59:48] I think when I heard uh 60 minutes for
[2:59:50] Frontline said that the deep learning
[2:59:52] machines now are capable of not only
[2:59:56] inventing eight eight chess games that
[2:59:59] have never been played or won, but they
[3:00:04] actually can
[3:00:06] figure out what computer parts they need
[3:00:08] to make them even faster and stronger.
[3:00:11] It's and powerful and it scares the
[3:00:15] I mean, it's just it's really
[3:00:16] scary that that now we'll have like
[3:00:20] ionic parts and up. And so just as a
[3:00:24] future
[3:00:25] question not even to be answered now I
[3:00:28] actually prefer you not to just to sit
[3:00:30] on it because you you are wise when you
[3:00:32] when you ruminate on things it really is
[3:00:35] there not that you have an answer but
[3:00:38] the only thing I can do is go to temple
[3:00:40] and in temple
[3:00:42] it's not as important to me AI and how
[3:00:45] the world's going to be changing
[3:00:48] with machines and then they can make
[3:00:50] their own parts and then become deep
[3:00:52] learning. become self
[3:00:54] maintaining like u I forget the
[3:00:57] terminate whatever very scary and and
[3:01:00] I'm wondering
[3:01:02] and kaluga it's like cali really bad
[3:01:04] kali yoga ai kali yoga and deep learning
[3:01:06] kali yoga for the dark side it's very
[3:01:10] it's very scary because I've already
[3:01:11] seen at the hospitals the breakdown
[3:01:14] if they [snorts] can't okay sorry
[3:01:19] Um,
[3:01:30] it's not my world to run.
[3:01:34] All I can do is do the best I can every
[3:01:36] day
[3:01:38] with everything that I come in contact
[3:01:40] with.
[3:01:42] Uh, if the world's going to go to hell,
[3:01:44] what am I going to do about it?
[3:01:47] practice too.
[3:01:49] >> I can't hear you.
[3:01:52] >> Yes. Okay. The question is it's not my I
[3:01:56] don't want to be part of that world. I I
[3:01:58] just rather stay home, watch TV.
[3:01:59] >> Mhm.
[3:02:00] >> Yeah. Be by myself, which is not good
[3:02:02] either. So, is there a practice we can
[3:02:05] do just to help? I don't know. Is I go
[3:02:08] to temple and I take refuge in the
[3:02:10] temple and I go home and we face it
[3:02:12] again back and forth.
[3:02:13] >> That's good. It's good. You get some
[3:02:15] time off from your head.
[3:02:16] >> Exactly. So it just just food for
[3:02:19] thought just to ruminate on it.
[3:02:22] >> Yeah. No, that's we just we're all doing
[3:02:25] the best we can. There's a lot of people
[3:02:28] who for whom that means uh taking
[3:02:31] advantage of everything, you know, and
[3:02:34] hurting many people they can. What are
[3:02:36] we going to do? just do the best we can
[3:02:39] and hopefully that spreads from one
[3:02:42] person to another best we can.
[3:02:49] Where the world's going is above my pay
[3:02:51] grade.
[3:02:53] I'm trying to figure out how I can get
[3:02:55] to the bathroom now before I pee in my
[3:02:56] pants. [laughter]
[3:03:00] >> Can we say good night?
[3:03:03] [applause]
[3:03:10] >> [applause]
[3:03:20] >> That was fun.