Teaching on love
“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be.”
CB
Coleman Barks

In the quote, "Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be," Coleman Barks invites us to embrace the wild, unrestrained nature of love. This call to abandon the constraints of rationality and societal expectations speaks to the heart of human experience. In a world often dominated by caution and fear of failure, Barks reminds us that true love flourishes in the fertile ground of abandon and spontaneity. The stakes are high; to love fully is to risk vulnerability, to step into the unknown, and to allow ourselves to be seen in our most authentic, albeit chaotic, form.

Delving deeper, Barks' words resonate with the essence of Sufi mysticism, where love is not merely an emotion but a transformative force that transcends the mundane. The lover's "disgracefulness" and "craziness" are not flaws but rather expressions of a profound connection to the divine and to others. This perspective challenges us to reconsider our definitions of success and propriety, urging us to prioritize the depth of our emotional experiences over societal norms. In this light, the quote becomes a manifesto for living authentically, where the heart's desires take precedence over the mind's fears.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Barks' quote is vivid and evocative, conjuring a picture of a lover who is unrestrained by societal expectations. The words "disgraceful," "crazy," and "absentminded" paint a portrait of someone who is deeply immersed in the experience of love, willing to abandon the safety of rational thought. This lover is not concerned with the consequences of their actions; instead, they are fully present in the moment, allowing passion to guide them. The choice of verbs here—"let"—implies a gentle permission, an invitation to embrace this state of being without judgment or fear.

On a metaphorical level, Barks' words suggest that love is a force that defies logic and reason. The "sober" individual represents the voice of caution, the part of us that clings to control and predictability. In contrast, the lover embodies a state of surrender, a willingness to embrace the chaos that often accompanies deep emotional connections. This dichotomy invites us to explore the tension between safety and vulnerability, urging us to recognize that true love often requires us to step outside our comfort zones and embrace the unpredictable nature of human relationships.

In the speaker's tradition

Coleman Barks, as a translator and interpreter of Rumi's poetry, draws from the rich tradition of Sufism, where love is seen as a pathway to the divine. In Sufi thought, concepts such as "fana" (the annihilation of the self) and "bhakti" (devotional love) resonate deeply with Barks' message. The lover's willingness to be "disgraceful" reflects the Sufi understanding that true love often involves a surrendering of the ego, allowing oneself to be consumed by the beloved, whether that be another person or the divine. This surrender is not seen as a loss but rather as a profound transformation, leading to a deeper understanding of oneself and the universe.

Rumi's poetry often emphasizes the ecstatic nature of love, where the lover's journey is one of both joy and suffering. In his poem "The Guest House," Rumi invites us to welcome all emotions, likening them to visitors who come to teach us. This aligns beautifully with Barks' quote, as both highlight the importance of embracing the full spectrum of human experience. The lover's "craziness" can be seen as an acceptance of all that love entails, including the pain and joy that accompany it.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a young artist grappling with the fear of failure as they prepare for their first gallery show. The pressure to conform to expectations and present a polished image can stifle creativity, leading to self-doubt and anxiety. In this context, Barks' invitation to "let the lover be" serves as a powerful reminder to embrace the messy, unpredictable nature of artistic expression. By allowing themselves to be vulnerable and authentic, the artist can create work that resonates deeply with others, transcending the superficiality of perfection.

In the realm of relationships, this teaching can manifest in moments of conflict or misunderstanding. Imagine a couple navigating a challenging conversation, where one partner feels the urge to maintain composure and rationality while the other is overwhelmed by emotion. Barks' words encourage both individuals to honor their feelings, allowing the "crazy" and "disgraceful" aspects of love to surface. By embracing vulnerability and authenticity, they create space for deeper connection and understanding, transforming a potentially divisive moment into an opportunity for growth and intimacy.

A reflection

As we contemplate Barks' invitation to let the lover be, we might ask ourselves: What parts of my life are constrained by fear or societal expectations? In what ways can I embrace the "disgraceful" and "crazy" aspects of love, allowing myself to be fully present in my relationships and creative endeavors? This question invites us to explore the boundaries we impose on ourselves and to consider how we might step into a more liberated, authentic expression of love and connection.

Artist
Coleman Barks

Wisdom from Coleman Barks.

¿Tienes Preguntas?

Barks suggests that true love often defies societal norms and expectations, allowing individuals to embrace their authentic selves. The term 'disgraceful' reflects a willingness to be vulnerable and unrestrained in the pursuit of love, highlighting the transformative power of emotional connection.
You can apply this teaching by allowing yourself to express your emotions freely, whether in creative pursuits or personal relationships. Embrace moments of vulnerability and spontaneity, recognizing that these experiences can lead to deeper connections and a more authentic life.
Yes, the themes of love and surrender are prevalent in Sufi literature, particularly in the works of Rumi and Hafiz. These poets often explore the ecstatic nature of love and the importance of surrendering the ego to experience a deeper connection with the divine and others.
In this context, love is seen as a liberating force that encourages authenticity and vulnerability, while attachment often involves clinging to expectations and outcomes. Love allows for freedom and spontaneity, whereas attachment can lead to fear and control.
Practices such as mindfulness and meditation can support living this teaching by helping you cultivate awareness of your emotions and thoughts. Engaging in creative expression or open-hearted communication can also foster an environment where love can flourish without fear.

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