Transcript
[0:00] Many people these days, Henry,
[0:03] feel lost and lacking in purpose.
[0:08] How do you see meditation as a practice
[0:12] that can help people find meaning?
[0:14] >> Yeah, that's a great question.
[0:17] Here's my initial take on that. It's
[0:19] like
[0:21] the first thing we try to do with
[0:23] meaning is try to find it out in the
[0:24] world. It's out there somewhere. And
[0:26] actually, I don't know that that's the
[0:29] right place to look for it. I think it's
[0:31] within.
[0:32] And meditation
[0:34] is
[0:36] you know, it's lots of things and people
[0:38] understand it in lots of different ways,
[0:39] but fundamentally, it's always coming
[0:42] back to to what's already here within
[0:45] us. I think, you know, the the deepest
[0:48] meaning
[0:50] of our lives is within. And when we when
[0:53] we connect with that,
[0:55] we also see it out in the world. It's
[0:58] like it comes from within. We find it
[1:01] within, and it reorients
[1:03] how we then live our outward lives.
[1:06] >> Mhm.
[1:07] >> So, that I think that's the first thing.
[1:09] To to be still with ourselves, to come
[1:11] home
[1:13] to ourselves.
[1:15] >> You're saying that many of us look
[1:17] outside for meaning,
[1:19] outside for purpose.
[1:22] And I guess many people have
[1:24] bought the myth that happiness also
[1:27] exists on the outside. I mean, these are
[1:30] just terms, right? You know, they could
[1:32] For some of us, they could be
[1:33] interchangeable. Meaning, purpose,
[1:35] happiness. But I think the truth within
[1:37] all of them is that they're really not
[1:40] found on the outside.
[1:43] They're all, I guess to me, games that
[1:45] are played on the inside.
[1:48] >> Yes, I think that's that's right. I I've
[1:51] heard the
[1:52] I've heard some someone say or say I
[1:54] think it's a common saying, maybe it's
[1:55] like happiness is an inside job.
[1:58] You know, I I think it's it's really
[2:00] true. There's a
[2:01] I remember there was a time that the
[2:04] Dalai Lama came to visit Santa Fe. I'd
[2:08] actually
[2:09] I happened not to be there at the time,
[2:10] but it was actually after I moved there.
[2:12] Some 30 odd years ago.
[2:14] And he was he was fascinated by skiing.
[2:18] You know,
[2:19] never done it and he wanted to see what
[2:21] it was like. And there's a ski there's a
[2:23] ski mountain half an hour
[2:25] outside Santa Fe and he went up there
[2:26] and and after after I mean he didn't
[2:29] actually get put on a pair of skis, but
[2:30] he was just watching people doing it.
[2:32] And afterwards he went in he wanted to
[2:34] go into the cafeteria have a have a hot
[2:36] drink.
[2:37] And he was sitting there and one of the
[2:40] servers, you know, working in the
[2:41] cafeteria she sort of nervously came up
[2:44] to him um
[2:46] and asked him
[2:47] you know, you're on you you you want to
[2:49] they call you holiness.
[2:50] >> Holiness, yeah.
[2:51] >> Um I know you're a very wise man. I want
[2:54] to know what's the meaning of life?
[2:57] And and he just burst out laughing.
[2:59] >> [laughter]
[3:01] >> How he often does. Says the meaning of
[3:03] life?
[3:05] Meaning of life is very simple.
[3:08] It's to be happy.
[3:10] It's to be happy.
[3:12] But not so simple is how to be happy.
[3:15] Not so simple.
[3:17] >> [laughter]
[3:19] >> Yeah.
[3:20] >> And um
[3:21] you know, I think it's such a good
[3:23] reminder for all of us that when we're
[3:26] driven to
[3:28] so much by our culture to try to live up
[3:30] to things.
[3:31] Outward measures and we're driven to to
[3:35] how do I measure up? How do I earn my
[3:38] place? How do I feel worthy?
[3:41] Um and there's a totally different path
[3:45] of non
[3:47] non-accomplishment, non-achievement.
[3:49] It's the opposite.
[3:50] >> Yeah.
[3:50] >> But your meaning, your deepest meaning
[3:53] and your deepest purpose and your
[3:54] happiness
[3:56] are never going to be earned.
[3:58] You know, that that's it's so radical.
[4:00] We we mean, still have that conditioning
[4:03] strongly that I've got to I've got to
[4:05] I've got to do my projects, do them
[4:07] well, they've got to be helpful. I want
[4:09] to serve the best I can and somehow my
[4:13] my my right to exist
[4:17] you know, I I can fall into this
[4:18] thinking. My right to exist, you know,
[4:21] is earned by
[4:22] how well I act and sort of perform.
[4:27] But that's that's the wrong path for
[4:30] true meaning and true happiness.
[4:32] >> It's interesting and I guess for many
[4:34] people perhaps reassuring that you
[4:39] as someone who is a certified Zen master
[4:42] and someone who I think has meditated
[4:44] for how many years now?
[4:46] >> I'm a little embarrassed. I ought to be
[4:48] better by now.
[4:49] >> [laughter]
[4:49] >> It's like it's getting on for 40 years.
[4:51] Yeah.
[4:51] >> Yeah. So let's say 40 years of
[4:52] meditation.
[4:53] >> Yeah.
[4:55] >> You're still susceptible
[4:57] to this external conditioning that many
[5:01] of us fall prey to in the modern world.
[5:03] And as you were talking just then, I
[5:04] thought back to the retreat that I came
[5:08] on that you were sort of co-hosting in
[5:11] Santa Fe earlier on this year.
[5:13] And this morning I was going through my
[5:16] journal actually of some of the notes I
[5:18] made afterwards.
[5:20] And I remember very clearly on the first
[5:23] day because there was only about 10 of
[5:25] us there.
[5:26] And
[5:28] you know, some of the people who were
[5:29] there were I guess would be relatively
[5:31] well-known people, not everyone, but
[5:34] some were.
[5:35] And I think you said something like
[5:40] sitting in this room, many of you are
[5:43] overachievers.
[5:47] And none of you ever needed to achieve
[5:51] anything.
[5:53] Or something to that effect. And it
[5:55] stopped me in my tracks. I thought,
[5:57] yeah, there's there's a lot of us in
[5:58] here who by modern
[6:01] standards would be considered
[6:03] successful. And just that kind of
[6:06] almost contradiction. Like, "Hey, you
[6:09] you guys are all overachievers and
[6:11] none of you ever needed to achieve
[6:13] anything."
[6:14] >> Uh yeah, I
[6:15] >> I mean, what are we meant to do with
[6:16] that? Does that mean we're not meant to
[6:18] go out there in the world and do things?
[6:20] Or
[6:21] is it something different?
[6:23] >> Yes, it's it's it's a it's a bit of both
[6:26] and, I think, because it's great, for
[6:29] example, you offering this incredible
[6:30] podcast that is helping just millions
[6:32] and millions of people. There's no
[6:34] question in my mind. It's a really good
[6:36] thing.
[6:37] Um and, you know, you've done deep
[6:39] training in medicine and you're you're
[6:41] very, very effective and and beautiful
[6:44] skill as a healer and a and a doctor.
[6:47] That's all fantastic.
[6:49] >> [sighs]
[6:50] >> But, there's still another path. There's
[6:53] still another reality about our lives
[6:56] that we can only find by being a kind of
[7:00] underachiever.
[7:02] It's like it's really counterintuitive.
[7:04] But, there's a way that even while we
[7:07] may be, you know, you're called to do
[7:09] the kinds of you know, sort of big
[7:11] things that you're doing and it's
[7:12] fantastic. Others are called to do
[7:14] smaller things, but they're still called
[7:15] to do stuff.
[7:17] Um
[7:18] but either way
[7:21] the most beautiful thing of all
[7:24] is letting go of all of that
[7:27] and finding
[7:29] I think it's like finding our true
[7:30] heart. Our true heart knows
[7:33] that it
[7:34] it never needed to
[7:37] to prove itself. And there's something
[7:40] about connecting with that in ourselves
[7:42] for ourselves to really coming back to
[7:44] this
[7:45] totally natural, spontaneous, sort of
[7:49] innocent, open heart that we all have. I
[7:53] think living
[7:55] with that and from that will will be
[7:58] helpful
[8:00] just by our interactions and
[8:03] in a not in big ways. It might be in big
[8:05] ways it if if if we're
[8:08] if we have a a large reach or something
[8:10] like as you do, but but everybody, you
[8:13] know, it's something about the human
[8:15] race when we come back into this sort of
[8:18] tender open heart
[8:20] that we all have.
[8:22] Um
[8:24] I think that if that spreads
[8:28] the whole human race gets this little
[8:31] magic sort of
[8:32] ripple of kindness and openness and you
[8:36] know, our compassionate nature comes
[8:38] forth.
[8:39] >> Yeah. I completely agree.
[8:41] The The way I see it is it's to do with
[8:45] the energy behind what you're doing.
[8:49] Right? So
[8:50] let's take this podcast for a moment.
[8:54] If I'm doing it
[8:56] in order to say something about who I am
[8:59] as a human being and I judge my worth as
[9:02] a human
[9:03] on how many people
[9:05] have listened or not listened to an
[9:08] episode
[9:10] I think that's very different from
[9:13] doing it
[9:15] with an open heart.
[9:16] >> Yes.
[9:16] >> Doing it because you're interested in
[9:18] this topic and you want to explore it
[9:20] and express it and
[9:23] >> whether people listen or not
[9:25] >> Yeah.
[9:25] >> it was still worth having that
[9:27] conversation because I did it for me.
[9:30] >> Exactly.
[9:30] >> It's it's a subtle It's like It's like a
[9:32] subtly different flavor, isn't it?
[9:34] >> That's right. It's like I mean, I see it
[9:36] as a kind of um
[9:39] gratitude for having this experience at
[9:43] all.
[9:44] >> Mhm.
[9:44] >> That we're we're able to sit here
[9:48] feasting on on the visuals of that are
[9:51] appearing before our eyes
[9:53] hearing the soft quiet in the room
[9:56] hearing our voices sharing, you know,
[9:59] just just to be doing this
[10:01] um is already such a gift.
[10:04] >> Mhm.
[10:05] >> And to feel to be touched by that gift
[10:08] of being alive, you know, it's it's
[10:10] available to us in every moment. And if
[10:13] we if we do get it, then if we do sense
[10:17] that,
[10:19] it's like we we sort of don't need
[10:20] anything else.
[10:22] >> Mhm.
[10:22] >> You see what I mean? It's like we're not
[10:24] doing it for some ulterior later
[10:26] purpose. It's just for serving
[10:28] the very gift of life. And I think when
[10:32] when we've got that vibe going on, when
[10:34] we're feeling that ourselves, I think
[10:37] everybody
[10:38] recognizes it. Or everybody knows that
[10:41] they too
[10:42] do sometimes feel like that. And and our
[10:45] society, our culture, contemporary
[10:47] culture,
[10:48] so
[10:50] doesn't recognize the value of that. And
[10:52] it's such a relief when it is called out
[10:55] and recognized. And when we sense
[10:57] somebody else is just free. And I think
[11:00] it's it's a natural human thing to have
[11:02] that spontaneous
[11:04] warmth in our hearts. And
[11:07] you know, when when we when we're
[11:08] feeling it,
[11:10] it's its own reward. It's its own
[11:11] reason.
[11:13] >> I think what meditation does for many of
[11:16] us
[11:17] is provides
[11:19] the kind of structure and container for
[11:22] us to experience these things.
[11:25] Because I think if you are left to
[11:29] the prevailing wind
[11:31] of society
[11:33] >> Yeah.
[11:34] >> in the modern world,
[11:36] you're going to end up being swept up in
[11:37] busyness, and emails, and things you
[11:40] have to do, and you never quite feel
[11:42] you're doing enough, and there's always
[11:44] something else you could be doing, and
[11:45] that to-do list just keeps growing even
[11:47] though you've made so many efforts to
[11:49] actually
[11:50] you know, get through it.
[11:53] And
[11:54] I guess that that the sort of common
[11:56] tendency is to think that we need more
[11:58] productivity hacks. You know, how do I
[11:59] get through my to-do list faster?
[12:02] You know, many people, and people maybe
[12:04] right now are listening to this episode
[12:06] on 1.5 the speed, twice the speed,
[12:10] right? I love podcasts. I have never
[12:13] ever listened to a podcast at anything
[12:17] but the actual speed.
[12:19] Okay? And that's not to judge anyone who
[12:21] does it differently, right? Many people
[12:23] say, "Yeah, I listen to things double
[12:25] the speed. And actually, I really enjoy
[12:27] it and I get more
[12:28] information in quickly."
[12:30] I just realized I actually want to
[12:32] experience it as it was. Like, I don't
[12:34] want it sped up.
[12:36] >> [laughter]
[12:36] >> I
[12:37] you know, and I think busyness is
[12:41] such
[12:43] an epidemic these days
[12:46] that any practice of solitude or
[12:49] silence, whether that be meditation
[12:51] or whether it be something else,
[12:55] I think has incredible hidden power,
[12:57] basically.
[12:59] >> Yes, exactly. And it's it's not by it's
[13:02] not on the same register as like the
[13:05] metrics of getting more done. It's not
[13:07] at all. It's like
[13:08] I actually there's this I'm trying to
[13:10] remember there's a really funny song
[13:11] called the the sickest Buddhist, I think
[13:13] it's called. I'm the best Buddhist, or
[13:15] something like that. I forget who the
[13:17] comedian is doing it. And he says in
[13:19] there's a line in it like, "That
[13:20] 25-minute meditation, I killed it in
[13:23] 10."
[13:24] >> [laughter]
[13:26] >> You know, it's like it's exactly like
[13:28] that. Could you possibly speed up a
[13:30] meditation? You know, it's like it's
[13:32] it's insane. The whole point is like
[13:35] we're just joining the unfolding
[13:38] of the universe. We're just being still
[13:41] and joining what's actually happening.
[13:43] And you know, it's such a different
[13:45] mindset from what can I get done.
[13:46] >> Yeah,
[13:47] it brings me back to that retreat. Okay,
[13:49] so it was something like a 3-day retreat
[13:51] that I did with you earlier on in the
[13:52] year.
[13:54] And one of the things I wrote down in my
[13:55] journal that I saw today, cuz I hadn't
[13:58] looked at it for a while,
[13:59] was that I felt as if my internal
[14:01] momentum had changed.
[14:06] Which is really beautiful because I
[14:08] think when we're in this sort of
[14:11] routine of daily life,
[14:15] that kind of internal pacemaker, as it
[14:18] were, runs at a certain speed. Right? We
[14:21] don't realize it that we're sort of
[14:23] being uh it's like a thermostat in the
[14:25] house. Like, it's always bringing us
[14:26] back to that speed.
[14:29] And I felt because of the container you
[14:32] provided during that retreat,
[14:35] everything within me started to slow
[14:37] down.
[14:38] There's something about internal
[14:39] momentum that I think many of us don't
[14:41] realize
[14:43] until we slow down.
[14:46] Until we have that practice of solitude,
[14:48] we just don't know how fast we're moving
[14:50] through life.
[14:51] >> I totally agree.
[14:53] Very often, as we start to settle
[14:56] through doing regular daily meditation,
[14:59] we start to feel, "Oh my gosh, there's a
[15:01] kind of flywheel constantly turning
[15:04] inside me. It's got this momentum. Even
[15:06] though I've I'm still now, um this thing
[15:09] is still spinning that's trying to make
[15:11] me do stuff."
[15:13] And so it takes a while for that
[15:15] momentum to sort of bleed off, as it
[15:18] were. It just gradually slows down, and
[15:20] we get into the pace of actual living.
[15:23] You know, I mean, I I totally relate to
[15:24] it myself. You know, I I've I've done it
[15:27] a lot in my life, just trying to drive
[15:29] myself faster. Um
[15:31] Actually, I'm wondering I've got a poem
[15:33] about this, about this very problem.
[15:34] Yeah. Shall I Shall I
[15:35] >> I I'd love you to. Yeah.
[15:36] >> Okay. Well, it's called
[15:38] it's called the slow one. And um I'm
[15:41] going to I just need to give a little
[15:42] bit of a setup
[15:44] >> What's going on in it?
[15:44] >> Yeah. Amazing. It's um
[15:46] it's a time in my life, relatively
[15:48] recently actually, when
[15:50] we had had to move to California,
[15:52] Southern California, to support a loved
[15:55] one who was having a very hard time. And
[15:57] we were living in, you know, the
[15:58] suburban spread of of Southern
[16:01] California,
[16:03] which was not somewhere I'd ever really
[16:05] wanted to live, to be honest. I, you
[16:07] know, LA area, you know, I I I I I'm
[16:10] blessed to live in a beautiful city,
[16:12] Santa Fe, where where you came from in
[16:13] earlier this year.
[16:15] And I grew up in a beautiful city,
[16:16] Oxford, and so on.
[16:18] And um I was I was really not really
[16:20] comfortable like going there, but we had
[16:22] to and but the good thing I discovered
[16:25] soon was we were only 10 minutes from
[16:27] the ocean. It's like a drive down to the
[16:29] ocean and I started going every morning
[16:31] at dawn
[16:32] >> Mhm.
[16:32] >> or just before and I'd see the sun
[16:34] coming up and I'd get in it. It was It's
[16:36] quite chilly actually down there the
[16:38] ocean, but really really really
[16:40] beautiful.
[16:41] And I started to notice that
[16:44] I'd get this expansive beautiful
[16:46] experience at dawn and then
[16:49] I'd already before I knew it I'd be
[16:51] wanting to get back to get onto my
[16:52] computer to get to get to working. And I
[16:55] suddenly realized how sad that was and
[16:56] this poem is
[16:58] is about that. It's called The Slow One.
[17:01] The real me
[17:03] moves slowly.
[17:05] The real me moves slowly. He looks at
[17:08] things a long time
[17:11] until he understands
[17:13] what he's looking at.
[17:15] Like this morning in the sea down by the
[17:18] broad beach early when the sun had just
[17:21] risen
[17:22] and was bright like oil on the water
[17:26] and the water itself was dark purple
[17:29] almost black
[17:31] and it was the sea's surface, the
[17:34] seeming thickness of it
[17:37] like animal hide
[17:39] but moving breathing in its big slow
[17:43] rhythm that caught his attention. It
[17:45] seemed heavy like a blanket being shaken
[17:48] in slow motion, its colors and folds lit
[17:51] by the morning sun. He was studying it.
[17:53] He was studying it, enjoying it,
[17:56] learning about it.
[17:59] When already we were showering off the
[18:02] salt at the public speaker, toweling dry
[18:05] getting in the car into the traffic and
[18:07] he was still staring back trying to see
[18:10] the sea with the great light risen
[18:12] across it which wanted to show him his
[18:14] true place in the world. Something he
[18:16] was happy to learn again and again, but
[18:19] someone else, someone thoughtless,
[18:22] heedless,
[18:23] busy
[18:24] had already taken him away.
[18:30] >> I mean how many people are going to
[18:31] resonate with that straight away, Henry?
[18:34] >> It's like, you know,
[18:36] there's something so beautiful inside us
[18:38] that that loves this world and loves
[18:41] being alive.
[18:43] And how often
[18:45] am I really connected with it? You know,
[18:47] my practice is to be connected with it.
[18:50] And I have long spells when I'm really
[18:52] lucky, I just I just do feel more
[18:55] connected with it. And I but it's not
[18:57] constant. I can get taken out.
[18:59] >> What what would you say to someone who
[19:02] resonated with that beautiful poem
[19:05] but doesn't feel it's relevant for them.
[19:08] They're like, "Okay, yeah, Henry, you're
[19:10] a meditation teacher. You live in the
[19:11] mountains of Santa Fe. I live in
[19:14] inner-city London. My life is busy. I've
[19:16] got a job to go to. I've got errands to
[19:19] run."
[19:19] >> Yes.
[19:20] >> "What's the relevance of that for me?"
[19:23] What would you say to that person?
[19:24] >> Yeah, there's there's there's beauty all
[19:26] around us, even in inner-cities. I I
[19:28] spent a lot of time in New York and then
[19:30] in London, actually, as well. And it's
[19:33] there's beauty sort of everywhere, you
[19:36] know? And and I would say, "Just see
[19:39] what it's like to allow yourself 5
[19:42] minutes
[19:44] of um sitting on a bench and just
[19:47] watching the world go by."
[19:49] The the shift from being caught by the
[19:53] our own inner momentum that society kind
[19:56] of approves of us having and has
[19:58] conditioned us to have, the switch
[19:59] between that and just disengaging from
[20:02] it for even a little bit.
[20:06] Just watching, people watching, watching
[20:08] the world go by. Just a moment of it.
[20:12] You'll we get the flavor. We can all all
[20:15] of us can get the flavor. And the
[20:17] question then is, when you get the
[20:19] flavor of slower,
[20:22] of
[20:23] coming back to a slower version of you
[20:27] that you've always had, that you had as
[20:29] a kid, and you still have today. When we
[20:32] get that flavor,
[20:34] you know, how do you feel?
[20:36] How when you really when we really get
[20:38] it,
[20:39] do we sense
[20:40] there's another way
[20:42] of being alive. It doesn't mean you have
[20:44] to abandon the other one.
[20:46] >> No.
[20:47] >> It's the balance.
[20:50] >> What I've experienced myself is that
[20:55] if you can taste slowness
[20:59] in the morning,
[21:01] okay?
[21:01] >> Yeah.
[21:02] >> [snorts]
[21:03] >> It's not just about
[21:06] that luxurious feeling that you have.
[21:10] You almost remind yourself
[21:13] what slowness feels like.
[21:15] And so this is why I personally am a fan
[21:17] of
[21:18] uh morning routines or rituals, just
[21:21] some sort of morning practice of
[21:23] stillness.
[21:24] >> Yeah.
[21:24] >> Because I think it just grounds you a
[21:27] little bit, it reminds you what it can
[21:30] feel like, and even if you then get
[21:32] caught up Yeah. in [clears throat] the
[21:34] busyness of the day,
[21:36] I think you're much more likely to slow
[21:39] down at some point if you've tasted it,
[21:42] right? And I think unfortunately
[21:46] so many of us don't feel we've got time
[21:48] for even 5 or 10 minutes of slowness or
[21:52] stillness or meditation,
[21:54] and therefore we've forgotten what it
[21:56] feels like. We're just used to our
[21:58] thermometer or our internal momentum
[22:00] running at a fast speed, and we think
[22:02] that's our natural speed, but it isn't.
[22:04] >> I know.
[22:05] >> It's your conditioned speed.
[22:07] >> It is.
[22:07] >> And you can actually uncondition it
[22:10] >> Yeah.
[22:10] >> without needing to go to, you know, a
[22:13] wonderful retreat. You can start to do
[22:15] that with 5 or 10 minutes a day, can't
[22:17] you?
[22:17] >> You totally can. And I would say the
[22:19] thing is it's it's actually it's not
[22:21] just about momentum and speed. It's like
[22:24] if we get that little space, yes,
[22:28] in time we'll learn to disengage. And
[22:30] we'll It's like unplugging,
[22:32] disconnecting, and you suddenly feel
[22:35] alive in a different way. And
[22:38] I feel that once we got that sense more
[22:42] consistently touching into it more
[22:45] consistently each day,
[22:46] um we can then throw ourselves into the
[22:49] busyness of life. It's fine. But there's
[22:51] a bit of another dimension that we start
[22:54] to sense. That's with us all the time.
[22:55] And we you know, we'll remember it,
[22:57] we'll forget it, we'll remember it,
[22:58] we'll taste it, we'll forget it again.
[23:00] But we're starting to get the sense of
[23:02] slightly larger life that's with us all
[23:04] the time. It's not only when we slow
[23:07] down is that we start to get the sense
[23:09] and it it doesn't it doesn't mean we we
[23:11] shouldn't you know, have our busy lives.
[23:13] It it doesn't mean that. We're It's just
[23:16] that there's a larger life with us even
[23:19] while we're doing our busy thing. And
[23:22] that's that's just such a treasure to
[23:24] discover that.
[23:25] >> Yeah. That topic of another dimension, I
[23:28] want to get to very shortly.
[23:30] Before I do that though, I just wanted
[23:32] to if I may read a section from I think
[23:35] my favorite book of yours, Original
[23:36] Love, entitled An Invitation at the
[23:39] start.
[23:39] >> Yeah, please. Of course.
[23:41] >> speaks to what we're talking about.
[23:45] Imagine you're alone in a quiet room.
[23:48] No one can disturb you.
[23:50] You're comfortable, you're still, and
[23:53] gradually you're getting the sense that
[23:55] a greater quiet surrounds you and holds
[23:58] you.
[24:00] The more you feel this quiet,
[24:03] the more you know in your bones that you
[24:04] can trust it.
[24:06] It's beautiful and precious,
[24:09] and you find yourself letting go of your
[24:12] plans.
[24:13] >> [snorts]
[24:13] >> Your to-do list evaporates.
[24:16] Your agenda disappears like vanishing
[24:18] ink.
[24:19] Now there's only the quiet, which feels
[24:21] almost like a presence,
[24:24] and it brings on a deep sense of
[24:26] well-being.
[24:28] And then Henry, you continue with
[24:30] another paragraph, but then I'm just
[24:31] going to pick it up one paragraph
[24:33] [clears throat] later.
[24:35] In a while,
[24:37] you take a deeper breath and end the
[24:39] period of meditation.
[24:42] You go downstairs, make coffee, and
[24:45] enter your day feeling not just
[24:47] replenished,
[24:49] but as if you have just touched
[24:51] something wider,
[24:52] an unnameable mystery,
[24:55] a secret side to your life
[24:58] that has reset your priorities.
[25:02] >> Yeah, I'm glad I wrote that, actually.
[25:05] >> [laughter]
[25:05] >> It's beautiful.
[25:06] >> I don't always I'm not always that keen
[25:07] on what I wrote before, but actually
[25:09] that that Yeah, I sort of
[25:11] I think that's right.
[25:12] >> it.
[25:13] >> I stand by it. I think that's that's the
[25:15] big point. That we Once we do Once we do
[25:18] the disconnecting, the slowing down a
[25:21] little bit, it it's not just that we go
[25:23] slower and we're more appreciative. We
[25:25] touch the mystery, the mystery of being.
[25:28] And that's the big That's the big
[25:30] kahuna. That's the thing that really
[25:32] matters.
[25:32] >> That's what I want to focus on in
[25:33] today's conversation, because you've
[25:35] been on the show twice before, and you
[25:37] know, we've covered all kinds of
[25:39] practical things to do with meditation
[25:41] and some of its benefits, and it would
[25:42] be very easy
[25:45] to talk about the science of how
[25:47] meditation can help us with depression,
[25:50] anxiety,
[25:51] burnout, increase or change the
[25:54] structure of your brain, improve focus,
[25:56] all these things, which it does.
[25:59] But I think there's something much
[26:00] deeper that it does that probably
[26:03] underpins all of that. And again, you
[26:05] touch on it there, you know, a secret
[26:07] side to your life that has reset your
[26:09] priorities.
[26:11] That's what's happened to me. Maybe 6
[26:13] weeks ago?
[26:15] Something like that.
[26:16] >> I I think we need to hear about it, cuz
[26:17] it's really important. And it cuz it you
[26:19] know,
[26:20] this is the This is what really matters
[26:22] is that we we think we sort of know
[26:25] what life is. We know it in a certain
[26:27] way. We have a consensus about it, you
[26:29] know, and we're conditioned to to go
[26:31] with that consensus.
[26:33] But, there's a totally different way of
[26:34] knowing this life where we
[26:36] >> Yeah.
[26:36] >> where it's about it's more about not
[26:38] knowing.
[26:39] >> Yeah.
[26:39] >> We sense in a different way. We
[26:41] experience in a different way. And it
[26:43] and we we actually get closer to the
[26:45] mystery of being. So, please share what
[26:47] you shared with me and I and we'll
[26:50] we'll unpack it. Yeah. Yeah.
[26:52] >> Okay. So,
[26:56] a friend of mine
[26:58] was having a birthday celebration. This
[27:01] friend
[27:02] has been doing a lot of what would be
[27:03] called men's work for the past few
[27:05] years. Okay? So,
[27:08] you know, he's found that incredibly
[27:09] helpful to help him understand himself,
[27:11] to become a better man, a better father,
[27:14] a better husband.
[27:16] He He's just found it incredible.
[27:18] So, my friend invited a few people
[27:22] for this weekend away.
[27:24] I was the only one who was invited
[27:27] who had not done, you know, men's work
[27:30] before. Okay? But, my friend thought
[27:33] that because of the things I'm
[27:35] interested in and the sort of things
[27:36] that I have done that I would fit right
[27:39] in.
[27:40] Now, I didn't know much about what was
[27:43] going to happen.
[27:45] And on the first day, on the Friday,
[27:47] they have something from their men's
[27:50] work
[27:52] I think called a circle.
[27:53] >> Mhm.
[27:54] >> [clears throat]
[27:54] >> And basically,
[27:56] you know, a fire is lit and we are
[27:58] sitting around the circle and they have
[28:00] a process
[28:02] for everyone to go and share something
[28:05] about themselves. It was incredible
[28:07] because I tell you at the end of that
[28:08] hour, I felt I knew all of these guys
[28:12] really well.
[28:13] Right? Because there was real honesty
[28:15] and vulnerability. And you realize we've
[28:18] all got a narrative and a story behind
[28:21] us actually being there, right?
[28:23] >> Yeah.
[28:23] >> And just to be clear, this is very
[28:25] different from the sort of birthday
[28:27] celebrations that I used to do with this
[28:29] guy maybe 20 years ago, okay? So,
[28:32] there's been some evolution, let's put
[28:34] it like that. [laughter]
[28:36] >> But on the Saturday,
[28:37] we sat rounds,
[28:39] and
[28:42] this is something one of his his friends
[28:45] uh and his wife had actually set up
[28:46] where we were going to go around and
[28:47] express gratitude
[28:49] for who this friend of ours was,
[28:54] what he's meant to us, what we're
[28:56] grateful for
[28:57] about who he has been and the person
[29:01] he is about to become.
[29:03] And it was just so beautiful, just
[29:05] hearing all these people
[29:08] express from their hearts in a way that
[29:10] men often don't.
[29:13] It was so powerful,
[29:15] right? People were tearing up. It it was
[29:17] just absolutely beautiful. They're we're
[29:18] out in nature, there's a fire there.
[29:21] >> Yeah.
[29:21] >> It was just incredible.
[29:24] I'm just sitting there and feeling
[29:25] amazing. I close my eyes,
[29:30] and at some point,
[29:35] it just feels different. Like at some
[29:37] point, Henry,
[29:40] I no longer could feel
[29:43] where
[29:44] I ended
[29:46] and the world began.
[29:49] I think I could feel my bum on my seat
[29:53] and my bare foot on the grass, I think.
[29:57] But I couldn't feel anything else. Like
[29:59] I I almost
[30:00] lost my sense of
[30:03] who I was and where my body ended.
[30:06] It felt amazing.
[30:08] It felt like bliss.
[30:12] And just to be clear, I hadn't meditated
[30:14] beforehand. Um, I wasn't expecting
[30:17] anything. I was just sitting there. I
[30:19] was just down to see my buddy. And I I
[30:22] didn't know what to expect that weekend.
[30:24] And that
[30:25] when I was feeling this, Henry,
[30:28] at one point I became aware
[30:32] that I was
[30:34] this was just an incredible feeling that
[30:35] I never experienced before.
[30:41] And I was tempted
[30:43] and I and I stopped myself from opening
[30:46] my eyes because what I thought and maybe
[30:49] I'd come out of this. I don't really
[30:50] know Henry but
[30:52] as I think back
[30:54] it felt so good.
[30:57] I thought wrong if you open your eyes
[31:00] you may never feel this again.
[31:03] So I didn't want to open my eyes.
[31:05] All right? And so I didn't. I just kept
[31:07] them shut and I and I sort of bathed in
[31:09] the luxurious bliss that I was feeling.
[31:15] So that's kind of what happened, right?
[31:17] >> Yeah.
[31:17] >> All I know
[31:19] is that when I finally came out of it
[31:21] and when this whole kind of ritual had
[31:23] finished
[31:30] I just felt different.
[31:33] I felt I'd experienced something I'd
[31:35] never ever experienced before and I
[31:37] loved it.
[31:37] >> Yeah.
[31:38] Yeah.
[31:39] >> So I could say more Henry but I'll just
[31:40] stop [clears throat] there for a moment.
[31:41] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[31:42] >> If you have any questions.
[31:43] >> Yeah, no that's fantastic.
[31:45] Just to just to just to recap a tiny bit
[31:47] on a couple of points.
[31:50] So there's a moment and then it extends
[31:52] when you you suddenly cannot tell where
[31:55] you end and the world begins.
[31:57] >> Yeah. The clocks are about to change,
[32:00] the mornings are darker, everyone around
[32:02] you seems to be coming down with
[32:04] something.
[32:05] And suddenly that well-being you felt in
[32:07] the summer seems a long time ago. I
[32:10] certainly know that feeling and that's
[32:12] why at this time of year I remind myself
[32:14] to lean into the fundamentals and for me
[32:18] one of those fundamentals is AG1.
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[32:23] been in my own life for over eight years
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[32:29] nutrients it contains, vitamin C,
[32:32] vitamin A, zinc and selenium supports a
[32:35] healthy immune system. I also like the
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[32:40] improvement and updating its formula as
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[33:25] /livemore livemore where there's just
[33:27] one
[33:28] space or sensation or something that
[33:32] includes both you and the world in
[33:34] itself. It's just one. That's That's,
[33:37] you know, that is that's one of the
[33:38] central
[33:40] aspects of our deeper spiritual nature
[33:43] of our as you know, in Buddhism it's
[33:45] called Buddha nature. It means that we
[33:49] we we're we're we've habitually
[33:53] in a condition where we believe that
[33:54] we're separate.
[33:56] That's the foundation of our egoic
[33:58] identity is that it's separate. That we
[34:01] are
[34:04] alone in being ourself. You know, that
[34:07] basically that's our fundamental nature
[34:09] is a separate entity.
[34:12] And
[34:13] what I would you know, humbly offer that
[34:16] you got a taste of
[34:17] is when somehow
[34:20] a door opens
[34:22] and that separateness is swept away or
[34:26] is invaded by something larger that is
[34:30] not separate. Where we discover we're
[34:32] part we are one with you could say we're
[34:35] part of but there's it is neither of
[34:37] those phrases are quite right. It's like
[34:40] the true nature of things
[34:43] steps in. Somehow something in us opens.
[34:47] And nobody nobody has I don't
[34:51] I have to say this with a little bit of
[34:53] trepidation but I believe nobody knows
[34:56] how to control that.
[34:59] When and how and why something in us can
[35:02] open and we just receive this true
[35:06] nature of things that's not separate.
[35:09] And when we when it happens it's it it's
[35:12] it's it's a it's a dimensional shift.
[35:15] It's like we we didn't know before
[35:19] that there's something about us that is
[35:21] very real
[35:23] that is not about separateness that it's
[35:27] it's it's a wholeness of with
[35:29] everything.
[35:31] World and us
[35:33] as one.
[35:34] >> Yeah.
[35:34] >> And you you to taste that I mean I want
[35:36] to say congratulations cuz you know it's
[35:39] it's people seek it. You know people
[35:41] seek it for years.
[35:43] >> Well,
[35:43] >> [laughter]
[35:44] >> there's so much I want to say like first
[35:45] thing I want to make clear
[35:47] is that there were no substances
[35:51] involved.
[35:52] I mean literally it was just a well I
[35:55] say a normal Saturday night. It it was I
[35:57] was at this thing with my mates.
[35:59] But
[36:01] I wasn't trying to get anything. Right?
[36:03] And I've read that before where you've
[36:05] spoken about that on on the way up which
[36:07] you know I use regularly which I love.
[36:09] You know we we you talk a lot about this
[36:11] idea that and and many teachers do that
[36:13] if you're seeking it
[36:16] like you can't really get it through
[36:17] seeking. But of course to a western mind
[36:20] that's conditioned [clears throat] to
[36:21] saying if you work harder you know you
[36:23] keep doing the reps keep putting it in
[36:26] and then at some point you'll be
[36:27] rewarded. The great thing for me Henry
[36:30] cuz I've reflected a lot on this over
[36:31] the last few weeks
[36:33] is that
[36:34] it's a it's as you say in original love
[36:36] right?
[36:37] It and it happens to you. You spoke
[36:39] about your experience when you were 19 I
[36:41] think on our first conversation on this
[36:42] podcast.
[36:44] It just happened.
[36:45] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[36:47] >> Straight after it happened,
[36:52] I shared with the group.
[36:56] I basically said that
[37:01] something incredible just happened to
[37:02] me.
[37:03] I explained a few more things, but I
[37:04] said, "I think
[37:07] I think I've just had what people call
[37:10] my first non-dual experience."
[37:14] And then I left you a message. I think I
[37:15] left you a voice message to say, "Hey
[37:17] Henry, listen,
[37:18] this is what happened." And you said,
[37:20] you know, are you are you up for jumping
[37:22] on a call? So, we had a call about it.
[37:26] And one of the things I said to you
[37:29] was that does it really matter
[37:32] what we call it?
[37:33] >> Right.
[37:34] >> Right? Is that not sometimes are we not
[37:37] at risk when we try and
[37:39] identify I mean, we'll talk about this
[37:41] cuz I think people are very interested
[37:42] in what's called awakening.
[37:44] >> Yeah.
[37:44] >> But
[37:47] it feels to me as though
[37:49] you can read about it as much as you
[37:51] want.
[37:54] It's just not the same as it
[37:55] experiencing something.
[37:57] >> Yeah.
[37:57] >> And and then when you try and explain
[37:59] your experience,
[38:01] sometimes I think words are limiting.
[38:03] I'm trying to explain to you in words
[38:04] what happened, but it doesn't in any way
[38:07] capture
[38:08] what actually It's a bit like I don't
[38:11] know. If you go and see a beautiful
[38:12] sunset,
[38:13] >> Yeah.
[38:14] >> right? And then you pull out your phone
[38:16] and you try and take a picture of it.
[38:17] You look at it and you're like,
[38:18] "Oh,
[38:19] well,
[38:20] >> [laughter]
[38:21] >> I know what I experienced and what I
[38:22] saw, and I know what I'm looking at on
[38:24] my phone screen, and it ain't the same
[38:25] thing." And what do you [clears throat]
[38:27] make of that?
[38:28] >> Well, I think it's absolutely right. I
[38:29] mean, the to me it's very beautiful that
[38:33] there's a whole side of our life that we
[38:35] cannot get in words.
[38:38] That we cannot even get through
[38:40] thinking.
[38:42] That we can get through no amount of
[38:43] calculation, no amount of understanding.
[38:47] It just has to be experienced
[38:50] in order if we're going to know it.
[38:52] We kind of know it
[38:54] when it happens, but it's a only a kind
[38:57] of knowing. It's not knowing the same
[38:59] way that other kinds of knowledge are.
[39:01] It's not like I know the train leaves at
[39:03] 14:18, you know, it's not that kind of
[39:06] knowledge. It's a It's I think it's
[39:09] deeper.
[39:10] Uh it's I I believe it's a it's a
[39:12] discovery about something
[39:17] of our real nature. It's because it's
[39:20] you know, it it has that authority about
[39:23] it that this is
[39:25] somehow more real.
[39:28] And but we could not get to it through
[39:32] words and language. Language doesn't
[39:34] know how to contain it. And what a
[39:37] mercy, what a wonderful thing that
[39:39] there's this whole other side to us, to
[39:42] each of us. And we could say to our
[39:43] life, but the important thing is it's
[39:45] about each of us. It's about what we
[39:47] actually are. There's this whole side to
[39:50] what we are
[39:51] that um is
[39:54] a mystery.
[39:57] And we can encounter that mystery. We
[40:00] can meet it. It can come to us. We can
[40:03] receive it. And when we do we're we're
[40:07] we're sort of
[40:09] you know, you you must have we're we're
[40:10] sort of invaded by this well-being.
[40:13] By peace, by love. Sometimes it's a
[40:16] quiet joy.
[40:18] You know, and we just know our life in a
[40:20] different way. So actually I wanted to
[40:21] ask you
[40:22] like when you're talking about it now
[40:25] and when you're sort of casting your
[40:27] mind back to it
[40:29] how do you feel?
[40:32] >> One of the things that has evolved with
[40:35] me in the last few weeks
[40:39] is my definition of success.
[40:43] I would say now my definition of success
[40:47] is literally how much of my life am I
[40:51] living with an open heart?
[40:53] >> Right.
[40:54] >> It's it's literally can you
[40:57] can you act with love
[40:59] in every situation?
[41:00] >> Yeah.
[41:01] >> Even when people perhaps are not being
[41:03] nice to you, can you still act with
[41:04] love?
[41:05] >> Yeah.
[41:05] >> [gasps]
[41:09] >> One of the other things I've noticed is
[41:17] my sense of my periphery
[41:19] has changed, right? So, when I'm walking
[41:23] I'm seeing more. I I I I kind of feel
[41:26] there's an extra 10 or 20 degrees on
[41:28] each eye outwards has now come into my
[41:33] awareness.
[41:34] >> Yeah.
[41:34] >> Now, what's interesting, of course, it
[41:36] was always there.
[41:37] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[41:38] >> But, I was probably not seeing it.
[41:39] >> Yeah.
[41:40] >> Right? I wasn't aware of it. So, I would
[41:42] say that's another thing that I've
[41:44] noticed over the last few weeks is that
[41:48] I've just got a greater
[41:51] awareness field, I guess is how I would
[41:53] put it.
[41:54] >> Yeah. Yeah, kind of capacity or sort of
[41:56] expansion expanded awareness, we might
[41:59] call it. Yeah. Yeah, and how do how does
[42:02] it feel? What's the emotional tone of
[42:04] that, if there is one? Is there is it
[42:07] peaceful? Is it exciting exciting in
[42:09] some quiet way, or joyful? Is there a
[42:12] well-being that comes with that of some
[42:14] kind?
[42:15] >> I would say it's joyful.
[42:16] >> Ah.
[42:17] >> Yeah, it it it's joyful
[42:21] I think partially because
[42:25] I'm able to recognize that
[42:28] that was always there. I was just never
[42:31] looking at it.
[42:32] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[42:33] >> Right?
[42:33] >> Yeah.
[42:34] >> And then you can extend that even
[42:36] further. I know at the end of Original
[42:38] Love there's a there's a beautiful uh
[42:40] meditation you write about where you're
[42:43] imagining you're in a theater
[42:45] and the stage is illuminated, right? So,
[42:48] maybe you you might be on the stage. I
[42:49] can't remember how you wrote it, but
[42:50] essentially then you sort of
[42:52] move back,
[42:54] right? And you're you're sort of
[42:56] furthest You can see the stage still
[42:58] with the lights on it, but you can you
[42:59] can see the darkness around it.
[43:01] >> Oh, yeah.
[43:02] >> Right?
[43:02] >> Yes.
[43:03] >> And to me, I take
[43:07] it it's just like life. That that you
[43:09] know, I'm looking at you.
[43:10] >> Yeah.
[43:12] >> If I really broaden out, I can see
[43:14] Gareth in the corner, she's saying. I
[43:17] can see the cameras. But, of course,
[43:19] there's stuff behind me.
[43:20] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[43:21] >> Right? Just cuz I'm not seeing it
[43:22] doesn't mean it's not there.
[43:23] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[43:25] >> I know I know this sounds so obvious,
[43:27] right?
[43:27] >> Yeah. No, but
[43:27] >> At the same time, it it doesn't feel
[43:29] obvious. It feels
[43:32] It feels really quite profound. That
[43:33] it's like that's all going on.
[43:35] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[43:36] >> But, I'm just focused on this.
[43:37] >> Yes.
[43:38] >> But, it doesn't mean that isn't
[43:39] happening because it is.
[43:41] >> Exactly. And I think you're describing I
[43:43] think that we can get this bigger
[43:45] awareness where we're we're Although
[43:48] we're not seeing
[43:50] the objects behind us, we have a sense
[43:52] of space
[43:53] >> Mhm.
[43:53] >> behind us, to the side, around the field
[43:58] of known experience. There's a larger
[44:02] presence, a larger space, a larger
[44:04] awareness that's wrapping around
[44:06] everything. So, maybe you're getting
[44:08] some sense of that.
[44:09] >> Yeah.
[44:09] >> And and it brings a bit of peace because
[44:12] I mean, it brings a large dose of peace
[44:14] because it's like a bigger context
[44:18] in which life itself, as we know it, is
[44:21] happening. There's like there is a
[44:22] larger context.
[44:24] If you see what I mean. Like And that
[44:26] that's a that's a lovely thing to sense.
[44:29] >> If a student goes to an experience like
[44:32] this,
[44:33] are they meant to or are they
[44:35] recommended to talk about it with one of
[44:37] their teachers? Is that how it works in
[44:39] your tradition?
[44:39] >> Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It can be It can
[44:42] be very sort of um
[44:44] helpful and affirming, you know, to have
[44:46] a conversation about it because
[44:49] nobody you know, nobody really
[44:51] you don't get it's it's not easy to
[44:53] access a lot of information on this or
[44:55] or to be met with. You know, when as you
[44:57] mentioned, I I had a random awakening
[44:59] experience of this sort of nature when I
[45:01] was 19 years old. And it took me about
[45:04] 10 years
[45:05] before I even began to know, or think,
[45:10] or recognize that that that it might
[45:11] have been something that other people
[45:13] had had some experience of. I just I
[45:16] just didn't know what category of
[45:18] experience it had been. I just knew that
[45:20] it was the truth of my life.
[45:23] Um
[45:24] but once I did get to meet with somebody
[45:27] and talk about it who understood it, it
[45:30] was it was an immense relief
[45:32] to know that this this was
[45:35] a real thing that other human beings
[45:38] were valued and were in a sense devoted
[45:42] to and could see the extraordinary value
[45:45] of it because it it's a it's a real
[45:47] shift in the whole structure of how we
[45:51] understand life and self.
[45:54] And um now you in your case, you know, I
[45:57] would think it's very likely that your
[46:00] heart is more open as a result because
[46:03] you've you clearly have expressed how
[46:06] the boundary between me and the world
[46:09] just wasn't there.
[46:11] And that is an open heart in in a in a
[46:14] deep way. You know, we can be
[46:16] open-hearted on different levels.
[46:19] But that's a level where, you know,
[46:21] there's there's just this whole border
[46:24] between me and the world has gone. Now,
[46:27] usually it will come back. It'll
[46:30] reconstitute sooner or later, and that's
[46:32] okay. But we've seen a reality without
[46:35] it. Where we're just not separate from
[46:38] this world. And just to see that and to
[46:40] feel it and to be
[46:42] to have let it in, to have let it
[46:44] happen.
[46:46] It can be the start of a reorientation
[46:49] in our in our values, you know.
[46:52] >> It's kind of interesting. If I if I
[46:53] think back over the last year,
[46:56] one of the things I I was thinking about
[46:57] is that
[46:59] there comes a stage, right? Or that
[47:01] that's certainly with me, where you
[47:03] know, you can talk about gratitude,
[47:05] right? And you can
[47:06] look at the science of it literature and
[47:08] what it says about a practice of
[47:09] gratitude, right?
[47:12] But at some point
[47:17] you stop practicing gratitude
[47:21] and you become gratitude.
[47:24] Like I really feel like over the last
[47:25] year like I I just feel naturally
[47:27] appreciative and grateful for
[47:32] everything.
[47:33] >> [laughter]
[47:34] >> Like even the most mundane, right? Or as
[47:36] you say, you know, beauty is around us
[47:38] everywhere.
[47:39] >> Yeah.
[47:40] >> If you look for it. So I mean one of the
[47:42] most incredible things on our on the
[47:44] retreat that you hosted was a walking
[47:46] meditation.
[47:47] Right? I never really done a walking
[47:49] meditation before.
[47:51] And you notice, or one of the things I
[47:55] noticed is is how much
[47:58] surrounds us at all times that we miss.
[48:01] >> Yeah.
[48:02] >> You can actually find the extraordinary
[48:05] in the ordinary.
[48:06] >> That's that's exactly right. Cuz really
[48:09] the extra- the ordinary is extraordinary
[48:11] if only we could see it, you know?
[48:12] >> Yeah.
[48:13] >> Yeah. So I think, you know, I would say
[48:16] another point wrong in here probably is
[48:18] that you've been meditating more, you
[48:21] know, over the last months. And um
[48:25] when we're meditating it's like we're
[48:27] more or when we have meditation in our
[48:29] life
[48:30] we're more exposed to reality.
[48:33] >> Mhm.
[48:33] >> The reality that we cannot know in our
[48:36] linear through the linear mind, you
[48:38] know, the linear calculating plotting,
[48:41] scheming, planning mind. We can't The
[48:43] reality that we can't know that way
[48:46] is has more we're more available to it.
[48:50] And um so that's another reason I'm not
[48:52] surprised that you would have an
[48:55] experience like that. When you had more
[48:57] meditation in your life. You know, it's
[48:59] not it's I wouldn't I'm not saying it's
[49:01] the only factor, but when we have all of
[49:04] us when we have more of a practice
[49:07] stillness and quiet and receptivity
[49:10] and noticing
[49:11] mindful noticing, you know, in our in
[49:13] our lives
[49:15] we can you know, the walls of the self
[49:18] get a little bit thinner
[49:20] and they get a little bit more porous.
[49:22] >> Yeah.
[49:23] >> And it's easier for them to have a
[49:25] little tear.
[49:27] So the the the outside what we think of
[49:30] outside us and inside us
[49:33] they pour in together and we discover
[49:35] that they've always actually been one.
[49:37] Cuz the the thing about this is it's not
[49:39] it's not that we're making something
[49:41] unusual happen. It's that we're becoming
[49:44] unusually more available to the way
[49:47] things really are. That's how I would
[49:49] view it and I think most spiritual
[49:51] traditions would as well. That it's not
[49:54] that through spiritual practices of some
[49:56] kind like meditation we're making
[49:58] straight strange things happen. So I I
[50:00] don't even agree with the term altered
[50:02] states. You know, when somebody has an
[50:04] awakening experience I think it's the
[50:06] opposite of an altered state. It's the
[50:08] the protective state of of
[50:10] >> Well, we're living in an altered state.
[50:12] >> Exactly.
[50:13] >> Hence the unhappiness, the lack of
[50:16] meaning, the purposelessness, the
[50:18] feeling of lostness, whatever it might
[50:19] be.
[50:20] >> Exactly. And all the stress and the
[50:21] chasing and yeah.
[50:23] >> Cuz we're disconnected.
[50:25] >> Exactly.
[50:26] >> Yeah.
[50:26] >> And and when we're
[50:28] reconnected
[50:30] to what was what's always been here
[50:33] yeah, it's not like we suddenly stop
[50:35] living. You know, there's there's a
[50:37] story I share about the Buddha. When the
[50:39] Buddha had his great awakening. It's a
[50:42] It's a beautiful story. I mean
[50:44] the nuts and bolts the bare bones of it
[50:45] are
[50:46] he'd been he'd been doing incredibly
[50:48] difficult ascetic practice mortifying
[50:50] himself and not eating and not drinking
[50:53] having a grain of rice a day and stuff.
[50:55] And he was almost dead. He was
[50:56] completely emaciated and
[50:59] and he suddenly thought this isn't
[51:00] working and I'm about to die. So, he
[51:02] took nourishment. This This milkmaid
[51:05] brought him some lovely thick rice
[51:07] pudding and he was nourished by it. And
[51:09] he said, "Okay, I'm better. You know,
[51:11] now I'm going to just sit down under a
[51:13] tree
[51:14] and just let my heart show me what it
[51:18] wants to." And he sat down under the
[51:20] tree and as the story is on the
[51:22] after a week
[51:24] um
[51:25] he would he at dawn he saw the Venus,
[51:28] the morning star twinkling in the sky
[51:30] and he had his great awakening. And and
[51:33] then he just sat there in total bliss
[51:37] for 3 weeks, apparently. You know, just
[51:40] everything was resolved. He discovered
[51:42] the truth. And and in the in the story,
[51:45] the legend, you know, the god comes,
[51:47] Vishnu, and taps him on the shoulder and
[51:49] says, "What are you doing?"
[51:51] He said, "I've What needed to be done
[51:53] has been done.
[51:54] I've found the truth. I've awakened."
[51:57] And Vishnu said, "That's all very well,
[51:59] but look at the world. It's burning up
[52:02] with suffering."
[52:03] And the Buddha says,
[52:05] "Well, I can't do anything about that.
[52:07] They'd never get this. It'll be like
[52:09] trying to swim against the stream."
[52:12] And Vishnu said, "You've got to try
[52:15] anyway."
[52:16] So, that expression, swimming against
[52:19] the stream, is exactly what we've been
[52:21] talking about with this conditioned
[52:23] mind, the conditioned way we live. To go
[52:26] against that is is really
[52:28] hard, but totally possible.
[52:31] And so, he got up and he spent the next
[52:34] 49 years teaching. And, you know, we're
[52:37] still benefiting all these years 2,500
[52:40] years later. I mean, I was he's only one
[52:42] of dozens of spiritual teachers. But,
[52:44] the point being
[52:47] actually
[52:48] awakening in this kind of way to
[52:50] non-duality, non-separateness,
[52:54] it doesn't mean um
[52:56] we become a useless blob.
[52:59] You know, you you can we
[53:01] you still live a life.
[53:02] >> I think you can exist
[53:05] in the world with more love.
[53:07] >> Exactly.
[53:08] >> Right? You can exist in this
[53:09] I guess more conditioned
[53:11] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[53:12] >> but enjoying it more,
[53:14] >> Yes.
[53:15] >> uh understanding it more, with more of
[53:17] an open heart.
[53:18] >> Yes.
[53:20] >> I guess what's reassuring with
[53:24] various traditions,
[53:26] like the Zen tradition
[53:29] or the Vedic traditions,
[53:30] >> Yeah.
[53:31] >> is that
[53:33] there's many, many human beings who've
[53:35] experienced things like this in the
[53:37] past, right?
[53:38] >> That's right.
[53:39] >> And and they have
[53:41] I guess created frameworks of
[53:42] understanding, so we can sort of try
[53:45] with our minds to make sense of what
[53:46] just happened. If that's in
[53:48] >> Yeah.
[53:48] >> in original love, Henry, I think you
[53:51] you talked about some research where
[53:52] they say maybe 30% of humans have had
[53:54] some kind of
[53:56] you know, trans- transcendent
[53:58] experience. I don't think all of them
[54:00] are necessarily non-dual, but something
[54:02] like that.
[54:03] >> Yeah.
[54:04] >> But I I just want to make sure we keep
[54:05] the skeptic in mind here, right? So
[54:08] >> Yeah.
[54:08] >> for someone
[54:10] who's never experienced this,
[54:13] they might literally be thinking,
[54:15] "What on earth are you two banging on
[54:16] about?"
[54:17] Right? Genuinely.
[54:19] >> Yes. Yes.
[54:20] >> They they might only be thinking, "What
[54:21] you mean the true nature of reality?
[54:23] What you mean like
[54:24] >> Yeah.
[54:25] >> I know my reality.
[54:26] >> Yeah.
[54:26] >> I've got to provide for my family. I've
[54:28] got to pay the bills.
[54:30] >> Yeah.
[54:30] >> I've got to take the bins out every
[54:32] Friday. You know,
[54:33] >> Yeah.
[54:33] >> right? But that is their current
[54:36] reality.
[54:37] >> Yes.
[54:38] >> So they may have trouble understanding.
[54:40] Like
[54:42] for for that skeptic,
[54:47] how do you help them make sense of this?
[54:48] Why should they be even interested in
[54:50] this? Why Why shouldn't they just turn
[54:52] it off and go, "This is complete
[54:54] nonsense.
[54:55] >> Yes.
[54:55] >> Let me just get on with my life rather
[54:56] than hearing about some sort of altered
[54:58] state."
[54:59] >> Yes. Well, look, I would say first of
[55:01] all, you don't have to be interested in
[55:02] this. It's actually okay not to be.
[55:05] Number one.
[55:06] Number two, None of this denies our
[55:10] ordinary reality. It actually doesn't
[55:12] mean that we don't go to work, we don't
[55:15] drive on the left-hand side of the road
[55:16] in the UK, on the right-hand side in the
[55:18] US. It doesn't mean that. It's like
[55:21] it's more like all of this world is
[55:23] functioning the way we see and believe
[55:25] it to be.
[55:27] It's just that there's a whole other
[55:28] side to it
[55:30] that we don't normally experience and
[55:32] that we can experience.
[55:34] And when we do, it's it's a it's like a
[55:36] great
[55:38] blasting open.
[55:39] >> Yeah.
[55:39] >> And it's and life is so much richer and
[55:41] so much more beautiful and our hearts
[55:43] fill with love. So, you can you know,
[55:45] you can take that or leave it as a
[55:47] possibility, but it's not denying uh you
[55:51] know, when I need to go to the shops, I
[55:52] need to go to the shops. When I need to
[55:53] go to work, I go to work. It's not
[55:55] denying that at all. It's more like
[55:58] there's another dimension that we can
[56:01] also see.
[56:02] >> Mhm.
[56:02] >> And so, it's not a denial of that.
[56:05] Now, in terms of when it comes to
[56:07] meditation, I'm a firm believer that
[56:10] this is actually not the only reason to
[56:12] meditate. I'd say the vast majority of
[56:15] people who who come to use our app, for
[56:17] example,
[56:18] they're not doing it for this.
[56:20] >> Mhm.
[56:20] >> They're doing it cuz they want more
[56:21] peace
[56:22] >> Mhm.
[56:22] >> in their lives. And that's a that's an
[56:24] absolutely valid reason to do it. I
[56:26] mean, by and large,
[56:28] people are either doing meditation for
[56:31] peace or for we might say truth, you
[56:35] know, the quest for reality, a sort of
[56:38] deeper
[56:39] aspect of reality.
[56:41] But, the huge majority is for peace.
[56:44] And of course, um
[56:46] that's just great. So, I would say to
[56:49] the skeptic,
[56:52] I mean, you can put all of this stuff
[56:54] about, you know, the ultimate nature of
[56:56] reality, whatever, you can just put it
[56:57] on the shelf.
[56:59] You don't need to you don't need to go
[57:01] there.
[57:01] But, I'd be hesitant to say the same
[57:04] about the beneficial effects of
[57:06] meditation on a nervous system.
[57:09] >> Mhm.
[57:09] >> That can help you with all aspects of
[57:11] your life. It's not like um
[57:14] uh
[57:15] you know, you're you're going to have to
[57:16] abandon your work or be a less good
[57:20] mother or father or parent, whatever.
[57:22] Not at all. I think it will help with
[57:25] pretty much every aspect of life.
[57:27] Relationally, personally,
[57:30] um in the career, in in our in our power
[57:33] to of concentration, all will be helped.
[57:37] Cuz it's such a deeply human practice to
[57:40] be still and quiet. I assume that for
[57:44] tens of thousands of years and
[57:47] Paleolithic humans would have done this.
[57:50] It would just have been part and parcel
[57:51] of an ordinary life that you get lots of
[57:54] hours in the day when you're not doing
[57:56] very much or at least some. And it and
[57:58] it would be natural to be still.
[58:01] You know, and may I mean, if you're a
[58:03] hunter,
[58:04] you'll spend a lot of time still cuz
[58:06] they're more likely to not scare off
[58:09] prey if they're still. And then when
[58:10] they move, move very quietly and slowly.
[58:14] Far more observant. That's all in our
[58:16] history.
[58:17] And you know, ever since farming or you
[58:19] know, 10,000 years ago, whatever,
[58:21] we've been losing that. We've been more
[58:24] and more caught up in
[58:25] in in the world of civilization that
[58:28] puts pressures on us that are completely
[58:30] different.
[58:31] >> Mhm.
[58:31] >> And actually, it's still in our makeup
[58:34] to to benefit from stillness,
[58:38] quiet,
[58:39] and the peace is like it's like we get
[58:42] quiet and still and we find a bigger
[58:45] quiet
[58:46] and a bigger stillness
[58:47] >> Yeah.
[58:48] >> and a bigger peace. And you don't You
[58:50] can do all that without any question
[58:52] about awakening. You can just, you know,
[58:54] >> Have you tried to meditate before?
[58:57] Perhaps you've heard about some of the
[58:58] benefits like reducing stress and
[59:00] increased focus. And you've given it a
[59:03] go and thought it's not the practice for
[59:05] you.
[59:06] Well, I believe that may well be because
[59:08] you have not tried the right approach.
[59:11] The Way is the only meditation app with
[59:14] a single long-term pathway. You're not
[59:17] forced to make loads of choices each
[59:19] day. Instead, you're guided on an
[59:22] enjoyable and progressive journey that
[59:24] deepens your practice step-by-step.
[59:27] Since I partnered with The Way, I have
[59:30] had so much positive feedback. One
[59:32] listener said, "Dr. Chatterjee, I came
[59:35] to The Way through your podcast. I have
[59:37] tried other meditation apps in the past
[59:40] with limited success and like the idea
[59:43] of following a single guided path. I'm
[59:46] nearly 2 months in now and loving it.
[59:48] Henry's gentle and concise approach is
[59:51] very calming and The Way is now a part
[59:54] of my morning routine." You see, that's
[59:56] the sentiment that so many people report
[59:59] when they start meditating with The Way.
[1:00:02] For listeners of my podcast, The Way is
[1:00:04] offering 30 free days to establish your
[1:00:08] own meditation practice. All you have to
[1:00:10] do is click on the QR code on screen or
[1:00:14] go to the wayapp.com/livmore
[1:00:18] to get started.
[1:00:20] Yeah, and I think that's a really great
[1:00:21] reminder because I think there's there
[1:00:23] will have been many humans who have
[1:00:24] existed and and and led happy and
[1:00:26] contented meaningful lives
[1:00:29] and perhaps never had an awakening
[1:00:30] experience.
[1:00:32] And I I'm I think back to the the cart
[1:00:35] path analogy you write about in Original
[1:00:37] Love that we've spoken about on I think
[1:00:39] both of our previous conversations where
[1:00:42] there's these two cart paths. Yeah, cart
[1:00:45] path one, there's mindfulness, support,
[1:00:49] absorption. These are things that
[1:00:50] meditation can really help you with,
[1:00:52] right?
[1:00:53] And alongside it, not at the end of
[1:00:56] those three, but alongside it is
[1:00:58] awakening. Awakening is always there.
[1:01:01] You had it at 19 without a meditation
[1:01:03] practice. So, it's not as if you
[1:01:04] meditate to get it. It can just happen.
[1:01:09] And you can have it and still exist in
[1:01:11] the world. I certainly my limited
[1:01:14] experience, because it's just been a few
[1:01:16] weeks, is
[1:01:18] I can still
[1:01:20] I think I can just exist in the world
[1:01:22] with I felt I was already pretty
[1:01:23] peaceful and
[1:01:26] um and chilled.
[1:01:27] I think even more so.
[1:01:29] >> [laughter]
[1:01:29] >> Like you can exist you can exist in the
[1:01:31] world with a much bigger heart.
[1:01:33] >> Yes.
[1:01:34] >> An even bigger heart.
[1:01:35] >> Yes, I think it is.
[1:01:36] >> And when I think about perspectives, I
[1:01:39] I'm drawn to
[1:01:42] you know, the sun.
[1:01:43] Right, so your reality, if you're just
[1:01:45] looking at the end of the ocean in the
[1:01:47] morning,
[1:01:49] you just see the sun rise. Like it
[1:01:51] literally looks like it's rising really
[1:01:53] really fast, right? Or at night, the sun
[1:01:56] is setting.
[1:01:58] Okay, that's one view. The other view,
[1:02:00] which I guess the scientific consensus
[1:02:02] today is that actually no, the sun is
[1:02:04] still and we and the world are revolving
[1:02:07] and we're the ones spinning, right?
[1:02:10] >> Yeah.
[1:02:10] >> Both things are happening. I can I can
[1:02:12] perceive it
[1:02:13] >> Yeah.
[1:02:13] >> as a sunrise and a sunset.
[1:02:15] >> Yeah.
[1:02:16] >> And there can be a deeper knowing that
[1:02:18] actually no, no, no.
[1:02:19] This is sort of an illusion.
[1:02:20] >> Yeah.
[1:02:21] >> Right? Because it's the world that's
[1:02:23] spinning around the sun.
[1:02:24] >> Yeah.
[1:02:25] >> Both things are true. I can still exist
[1:02:26] in the world. I can still enjoy a
[1:02:28] sunrise and a sunset.
[1:02:30] >> Yeah.
[1:02:31] >> And know
[1:02:32] the true nature. Is it Is that a good
[1:02:34] analogy?
[1:02:35] >> actually It's a very good analogy, yeah.
[1:02:37] Because we you know, we it's with with
[1:02:39] the experience of awakening,
[1:02:41] um you know, it can get deeper and
[1:02:43] deeper and and there can be the point
[1:02:46] where everything falls away and you
[1:02:47] know, there's just one nameless
[1:02:51] indeterminate
[1:02:53] >> Mhm.
[1:02:54] >> or they call it emptiness sometimes, but
[1:02:56] and so you can experience that. It's
[1:02:58] possible and
[1:03:01] and then having seen that, in a way you
[1:03:04] you sort of know everything from a
[1:03:05] different perspective.
[1:03:08] But you still have to treat it in
[1:03:11] exactly the same way. You know, you the
[1:03:13] cup of the cup of coffee still has to be
[1:03:15] brewed. It still has to be picked up,
[1:03:17] brought to the lips, drunk into the
[1:03:19] body. Even if you're seeing
[1:03:22] all of this as one single field that's
[1:03:26] actually in the end empty. You know, but
[1:03:28] nevertheless
[1:03:30] it's all appearing as it is. So,
[1:03:33] it's a very good analogy for being able
[1:03:35] to navigate this world
[1:03:39] even while awake to its fundamental
[1:03:43] non-separateness and emptiness.
[1:03:46] Is that I don't know if that makes
[1:03:47] sense, but but it's like
[1:03:49] it is it is like
[1:03:51] um you just see it all from a different
[1:03:53] perspective, but you still see the same
[1:03:56] stuff. Yeah.
[1:03:58] And it's it's so beautiful. I mean,
[1:04:01] that's really the point that See, what I
[1:04:02] love I love the fact that you need we
[1:04:05] need so little. We're given so much, and
[1:04:07] we need so little to to be really deeply
[1:04:11] happy and at peace and filled with a
[1:04:13] love that we want to share.
[1:04:15] And it it just comes from a perspective
[1:04:17] shift.
[1:04:19] >> Yeah, it
[1:04:20] Something you said at the retreat. I
[1:04:23] don't know if this is a koan or not. We
[1:04:25] shouldn't want even the best of things.
[1:04:28] >> Oh, yes, that is a line from a koan. It
[1:04:30] is actually. Yeah, it's it's is it's
[1:04:33] it's really interesting that, isn't it?
[1:04:34] It's like by
[1:04:36] the pursuit of what we think is best,
[1:04:39] we're missing
[1:04:41] all the beauty right here with the
[1:04:43] humble humble little things that we
[1:04:46] don't think are the best.
[1:04:47] You know, we think You know what I
[1:04:49] think? I want some great awakening.
[1:04:51] But what about the cup, the beautiful
[1:04:53] cup that's in your hand, you know, the
[1:04:55] beautiful tabletop?
[1:04:57] >> Yeah, we're always seeking, aren't we?
[1:04:58] We think it's out there. When this
[1:05:00] happens, when I buy that, when that
[1:05:02] happens to me at work,
[1:05:04] >> Yes, then it'll be okay.
[1:05:06] >> But it it it really isn't that.
[1:05:08] >> Cuz that
[1:05:09] >> And that's the con.
[1:05:10] >> Exactly.
[1:05:11] >> It really is.
[1:05:12] >> It is a con.
[1:05:12] >> But you is you only realize it's a con
[1:05:14] when you've seen through it.
[1:05:15] >> That's right.
[1:05:16] >> But until then you you actually believe
[1:05:18] that is what's going to happen.
[1:05:19] >> Exactly. It's like we're in a little
[1:05:21] capsule of wanting and seeking at one
[1:05:23] end, fearing and trying to get away from
[1:05:26] what the other end. And we think that if
[1:05:28] we get to that next destination, I've
[1:05:30] got that thing, we'll be out of the
[1:05:32] capsule, but we won't. We're in the same
[1:05:34] capsule.
[1:05:35] The capsule hasn't been challenged. Do
[1:05:37] you see what I mean? Whereas we can
[1:05:38] actually challenge that
[1:05:40] framework. I'm calling it a capsule that
[1:05:42] we're living in it of wanting X and
[1:05:44] seeking Y
[1:05:46] and fleeing A and B and then trying to
[1:05:49] avoid them.
[1:05:50] That model will just carry on being our
[1:05:53] model until we slow down and get to see
[1:05:58] it more clearly and then it can
[1:05:59] dissolve. And we find, "Oh my gosh, I'm
[1:06:02] This is a vast life already here before
[1:06:06] I've got anything." You know, and that
[1:06:08] There's I remember the first time I did
[1:06:09] a retreat with my with my current Zen
[1:06:12] master, Yamada Roshi, a Japanese guy.
[1:06:15] You know, he's He He He gave this
[1:06:17] powerful little bit in his talk, the the
[1:06:19] first retreat I did, where he was
[1:06:20] saying,
[1:06:21] "You know, we humans have got this
[1:06:22] problem. We We want certain things. We
[1:06:24] want to avoid certain things. We want We
[1:06:27] want, you know, objects and possessions
[1:06:29] and wealth or whatever and or at least
[1:06:32] security and relationships.
[1:06:35] We don't want to lose them, but we also
[1:06:37] know that we we are going to lose them
[1:06:38] when we die. You know, eventually we're
[1:06:40] going to lose them and we probably will
[1:06:42] lose many of them before then anyway."
[1:06:45] And he said, "But Zen's solution is not
[1:06:49] um
[1:06:50] how to get them and keep them.
[1:06:53] It's to discover that we never really
[1:06:55] had them anyway.
[1:06:57] We never had stuff the way we thought we
[1:06:59] did."
[1:07:01] And that's, you know, what what does
[1:07:02] that mean? But it's to do with this
[1:07:04] awakening thing of inside and outside
[1:07:07] being one.
[1:07:11] >> In terms of
[1:07:13] reimagining reality or questioning
[1:07:16] what we think and what we know to be
[1:07:18] true,
[1:07:20] one thing I've been thinking a lot about
[1:07:21] in the last years is
[1:07:25] I guess the true nature of what it means
[1:07:28] to live a happy and contented life.
[1:07:31] And what I'm specifically talking about
[1:07:34] is this idea that we need to be mobile
[1:07:36] and independent in order to enjoy life.
[1:07:40] That's the conventional view. That's the
[1:07:41] view
[1:07:42] I hold stroke held, right? And and even
[1:07:46] on this podcast and in many health and
[1:07:48] well-being podcasts, we talk about how
[1:07:51] do you stay mobile? How do you stay so
[1:07:53] you can be independent in your 80s and
[1:07:55] 90s? And I want that.
[1:07:58] And at the same time,
[1:08:00] I do believe it's possible to be
[1:08:02] perfectly happy without being able to do
[1:08:05] any of those things.
[1:08:06] And why I think that
[1:08:10] or or the or the kind of situations in
[1:08:12] life that have
[1:08:14] resulted in me questioning my
[1:08:16] pre-existing assumptions
[1:08:19] are I mean, there's two or three
[1:08:20] examples. One is my parents, right? So,
[1:08:24] my dad died in 2013. Dad,
[1:08:27] you know, when he was working was a very
[1:08:29] hard-working doctor who was an immigrant
[1:08:31] to the UK in the 1960s, worked
[1:08:32] incredibly hard to give us a better
[1:08:34] life.
[1:08:35] But Dad got really, really sick suddenly
[1:08:38] in his late 50s.
[1:08:40] So, he gets the autoimmune disease
[1:08:41] lupus.
[1:08:42] His kidneys fail and he's on dialysis
[1:08:45] for 15 years.
[1:08:46] >> Gosh, yeah.
[1:08:47] >> Right?
[1:08:48] I've been reflecting on this recently.
[1:08:50] I don't think my dad ever complained
[1:08:52] about his condition.
[1:08:54] >> Huh.
[1:08:55] >> And my dad was a very active person up
[1:08:57] until that point. He was always working
[1:08:59] or when he was back home, he was in the
[1:09:00] garden. He was do do do do do.
[1:09:03] And for 15 years, he couldn't do
[1:09:04] anymore. He had to let other people do
[1:09:08] for him.
[1:09:10] And I never really appreciated when Dad
[1:09:11] was alive. But now I think
[1:09:14] Hmm.
[1:09:15] Dad, this seems to be quite peaceful in
[1:09:17] his last few years.
[1:09:19] But he couldn't do all the things that
[1:09:21] he could have in the past. My mom has
[1:09:22] lost some ability in the last years. And
[1:09:26] I've never seen her more peaceful.
[1:09:28] >> Haha.
[1:09:28] >> [laughter]
[1:09:29] >> Yeah.
[1:09:29] >> Right?
[1:09:30] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:09:30] >> So, if I'm to buy into the belief that
[1:09:32] you need independence and mobility to be
[1:09:35] happy, I'm like, well,
[1:09:37] yeah, and there are people I know,
[1:09:41] namely my parents, who seem to have
[1:09:43] gained inner peace by not being able to
[1:09:45] move and do things.
[1:09:47] So, in terms of understanding the
[1:09:49] fundamental nature of reality,
[1:09:51] yeah, we can talk about awakening, but I
[1:09:53] can also talk about
[1:09:56] these people and their experiences and
[1:09:57] go,
[1:09:59] they just make me question what I
[1:10:01] thought I knew to be true.
[1:10:03] >> Right. Right.
[1:10:04] >> Does that make sense, Hamish?
[1:10:04] >> It totally does. I mean, I think there's
[1:10:07] this there's this switch that we've
[1:10:09] really been talking about, which is like
[1:10:11] from pursuing
[1:10:14] identified goals and activities and
[1:10:17] projects and things we think we want
[1:10:19] to suddenly not doing that
[1:10:22] or not being able to do that
[1:10:24] and finding that there can be deep peace
[1:10:27] and joy
[1:10:30] anyway.
[1:10:31] Uh I think it's it's very real that, you
[1:10:34] know, um
[1:10:36] I'm thinking of my
[1:10:38] I mean, my mom has been very, very busy.
[1:10:41] Very, you know, she's she's now 95. I
[1:10:43] was just with her in Scotland for a
[1:10:44] week. And she's got she's very, you
[1:10:46] know, she's very very smart and she's
[1:10:49] she's you know, she's been an academic
[1:10:50] actually in as well as a priest and a
[1:10:53] very busy person.
[1:10:55] And now
[1:10:58] she's still she's quiet. She listens to
[1:11:01] the wind.
[1:11:02] She looks at the trees. Her mind's still
[1:11:05] clear as a bell.
[1:11:07] But she's at peace doing so little.
[1:11:10] >> Yeah, to to me it almost feels
[1:11:14] especially these days,
[1:11:17] right? Because it's so easy to to stay
[1:11:19] occupied.
[1:11:20] >> Yeah.
[1:11:20] >> Right?
[1:11:22] >> [snorts]
[1:11:22] >> Phones.
[1:11:23] >> Yeah.
[1:11:23] >> Netflix. Whatever it might be. Yeah,
[1:11:25] there's always something that can take
[1:11:26] you away from yourself.
[1:11:28] >> Yes. Yes.
[1:11:28] >> And it can be very enjoyable and
[1:11:30] entertaining to do so.
[1:11:33] But I think in some of these examples
[1:11:34] that I've mentioned,
[1:11:37] when that is, I guess, taken away from
[1:11:40] you,
[1:11:41] right? Maybe you didn't choose it.
[1:11:44] And almost
[1:11:46] and I can't speak for someone else,
[1:11:47] right? If Dad was here, I'd love to chat
[1:11:49] about this with him.
[1:11:52] But it's almost as if when,
[1:11:54] you know, staying busy and constantly
[1:11:57] doing things
[1:11:59] has been removed from you,
[1:12:02] you're left with no choice but to see
[1:12:03] what exists underneath.
[1:12:06] >> Yeah, it's like what's already here
[1:12:09] before all those activities.
[1:12:11] >> Yeah, at the same time, I am not at all
[1:12:13] saying, and I'd love your take on this,
[1:12:15] right?
[1:12:17] Even despite knowing that,
[1:12:20] I think I'd still rather be active and
[1:12:22] independent in my 90s,
[1:12:23] >> [laughter]
[1:12:24] >> right?
[1:12:25] You know, I I I believe I can do the
[1:12:28] things and practices that I enjoy doing
[1:12:32] that will hopefully keep me mobile and
[1:12:34] independent for years.
[1:12:36] And at the same time, I can also
[1:12:38] acknowledge that
[1:12:41] should things go
[1:12:43] in a different direction,
[1:12:46] I still think it's possible for me to
[1:12:47] find peace and happiness.
[1:12:49] >> Yes, I I think that's exactly right. I
[1:12:50] mean, we may as well pursue that or hope
[1:12:53] to hope do what will be more likely to
[1:12:56] allow you to stay active, mobile,
[1:12:59] independent as long as possible,
[1:13:00] but know that you're going to be
[1:13:02] perfectly fine actually even if even if
[1:13:05] that doesn't work out. It's It's like we
[1:13:08] It's It's It's again, it's a little bit
[1:13:10] like discovering the inside us and
[1:13:13] outside us are one.
[1:13:16] It's It's analogous to finding the
[1:13:19] the pursuit of things
[1:13:21] um
[1:13:22] we we can do it. It's fine and good that
[1:13:25] we do it,
[1:13:26] but actually
[1:13:28] if we can't do it,
[1:13:30] we're more likely to discover Yeah. this
[1:13:33] way.
[1:13:34] >> That's the irony.
[1:13:35] >> It is. It is.
[1:13:35] >> can't distract, you're much more likely
[1:13:37] to find it.
[1:13:38] >> Yeah.
[1:13:39] >> Henry, listen.
[1:13:40] >> [clears throat]
[1:13:40] >> I I could go
[1:13:42] so deep into awakening with you.
[1:13:45] >> Yeah.
[1:13:45] >> I guess primarily because
[1:13:47] of what has happened in my life
[1:13:48] recently.
[1:13:49] >> Yeah.
[1:13:50] >> But it was okay. Let's just shift the
[1:13:53] focus.
[1:13:55] I know a lot of people love listening to
[1:13:57] you, and they love meditating on the
[1:13:59] way, right? Since you started coming on
[1:14:01] my show, there's many thousands of my
[1:14:04] listeners who use the way app each day,
[1:14:08] like myself, like many of my team. So
[1:14:10] many of them will say it's the best
[1:14:11] meditation app out there. But I think
[1:14:13] what makes it different
[1:14:17] is that there's no choice,
[1:14:19] which sounds like a restriction, but
[1:14:20] actually is freedom, really, because you
[1:14:23] just go on and you do the next
[1:14:25] meditation. You don't have to choose
[1:14:27] between hundreds of different ones, you
[1:14:29] just do the next one. And it and it it
[1:14:32] feels like you're on a journey that you
[1:14:34] are guiding us on. It's not about
[1:14:36] awakening. Having said that, if you do
[1:14:39] have an awakening experience,
[1:14:42] the teachings will probably help ground
[1:14:44] it within you.
[1:14:45] >> That's right.
[1:14:45] >> So you know what to do with it, right?
[1:14:47] >> Yeah.
[1:14:49] >> But I thought we could maybe go to some
[1:14:51] of the common questions people have
[1:14:53] about meditation at large, because as
[1:14:55] you've already said,
[1:14:57] most people aren't really meditating in
[1:14:59] order to experience awakening. They do
[1:15:01] it because they want their lives to be a
[1:15:03] little bit better, to feel a bit more
[1:15:05] peace. So I've got a few questions for
[1:15:07] my audience that I thought I could put
[1:15:10] to you, and I think these are common
[1:15:12] things that people struggle with.
[1:15:13] >> Yeah.
[1:15:13] >> Okay, in terms of the practice of
[1:15:14] meditation,
[1:15:16] how do I make sure I sit consistently?
[1:15:20] It's so difficult for me to get into a
[1:15:22] routine, which makes meditation a
[1:15:25] practice that can easily slip away.
[1:15:27] >> Yeah.
[1:15:28] >> I mean, he says
[1:15:30] This is really common, right?
[1:15:31] >> Yeah, it is. I mean, the traditional
[1:15:34] view is like the easiest thing is to do
[1:15:36] it first thing.
[1:15:37] If you do it first thing,
[1:15:39] um there's a little window before the
[1:15:42] current of the day has picked you up.
[1:15:45] And and it's generally like get it out
[1:15:47] of the way as it were. Just do it very
[1:15:49] first thing. That's one solution that
[1:15:52] many like.
[1:15:53] And um
[1:15:54] another would be like
[1:15:56] make sure there's something you decide
[1:15:58] you won't you won't do this without
[1:16:01] having meditated first. For example,
[1:16:03] have lunch. If you got a lunch break,
[1:16:05] you're going to spend the first 10
[1:16:06] minutes meditating. Something like that.
[1:16:07] You just make it a decision that you've
[1:16:10] already taken upstream. So, you don't
[1:16:12] have to keep remaking the decision every
[1:16:14] time. See what I mean? Like So, if it if
[1:16:16] it's going to be first thing or it's
[1:16:17] going to be lunchtime or when it
[1:16:18] whatever you decide,
[1:16:19] you've already decided that.
[1:16:21] And you know, and I think it's people
[1:16:23] find that easier to do if it's time
[1:16:25] limited. Say, "Well, for the next month,
[1:16:27] I'm doing it every morning first thing."
[1:16:29] And and then
[1:16:30] >> before my coffee, for example.
[1:16:32] >> It could be literally first thing. And
[1:16:34] I'm maybe you go to the you have a quick
[1:16:36] pee first. You're allowed to do that.
[1:16:38] Then you're going to sit. You know, and
[1:16:40] I know somebody who put that they like
[1:16:41] sitting on a cushion to meditate and
[1:16:43] they put it next to their bed. So, they
[1:16:45] would literally sort of spill out of bed
[1:16:47] onto the cushion.
[1:16:48] >> Mhm.
[1:16:48] >> First thing. And that would that would
[1:16:50] make her do it every morning.
[1:16:51] >> So, interestingly, if you if we think
[1:16:53] about the sort of research on habit
[1:16:55] formation,
[1:16:56] >> Yeah.
[1:16:58] >> having a reward,
[1:17:00] >> [snorts]
[1:17:00] >> some sort of reward straight after
[1:17:04] you've engaged in the behavior helps to
[1:17:06] lock that behavior in and help turn it
[1:17:08] into a habit. And so, in the morning,
[1:17:10] for example,
[1:17:12] many people, myself included, enjoy a
[1:17:15] cup of coffee.
[1:17:16] >> Yeah.
[1:17:17] >> And there there's something quite
[1:17:18] powerful, isn't there, about okay, I'm
[1:17:19] not going to have it until I meditate.
[1:17:21] And so, you wake up, you do your 5
[1:17:23] minutes or your 10 minutes or even 20
[1:17:25] minutes, depending on on what where
[1:17:27] you're at in your practice,
[1:17:29] and then you get the rewards
[1:17:32] of your coffee.
[1:17:33] >> Yeah, and I I there was a period when I
[1:17:35] was always doing it before lunch and I
[1:17:37] really like that because I would be
[1:17:39] hungry and I'd find while I was
[1:17:42] meditating I could I was I was enjoying
[1:17:45] looking forward to lunch. I was enjoying
[1:17:48] being hungry. Which was really
[1:17:50] interesting.
[1:17:51] And then I got to lunch.
[1:17:53] >> Yeah. [laughter]
[1:17:54] Yeah. Well, well, the the second
[1:17:56] question I guess kind of relates to that
[1:17:58] first one.
[1:18:00] Since becoming a parent, I find it hard
[1:18:03] to make time to sit.
[1:18:05] How can I find balance between my life
[1:18:08] and my practice?
[1:18:10] >> Yeah.
[1:18:11] >> the answers are quite similar, but
[1:18:12] anything specific for parents?
[1:18:14] >> Well, look, I mean, I think a lot of
[1:18:15] sympathy. You know, I've been I'm a I'm
[1:18:17] a dad too and I remember those early
[1:18:20] years when our our two lads were really
[1:18:22] young,
[1:18:24] it was it was definitely harder. And um
[1:18:28] it's [clears throat] a it's a little bit
[1:18:29] more unpredictable. They usually up
[1:18:30] really early. It's hard to get up,
[1:18:33] you know, significantly before the
[1:18:34] before the youngsters. Um if you can do,
[1:18:39] you know, or I would do often late in
[1:18:42] the day and back in those days with
[1:18:44] young kids. And once they're sleeping
[1:18:45] more regularly, it's all a little bit
[1:18:47] more predictable. And again, you just
[1:18:49] have to lock it in as a decision. That's
[1:18:51] the thing. The key thing is making the
[1:18:53] decision. You know, so that is again,
[1:18:55] it's not like a decision you're making
[1:18:57] daily. You've done it upstream. I'm
[1:18:59] meditating every day.
[1:19:01] You know, and it's going to be at time
[1:19:03] X.
[1:19:04] >> can't be then on a particular day, it'll
[1:19:05] be time Y.
[1:19:07] So, yeah. Once they're sleeping
[1:19:08] regularly, you you can do that, you
[1:19:10] know.
[1:19:10] >> I wonder if I might add something there
[1:19:11] and get your perspective.
[1:19:14] One of the things that I changed when I
[1:19:17] was meditating
[1:19:18] when I had young kids
[1:19:20] is
[1:19:22] I let go of the attachment to silence.
[1:19:24] And what I mean by that is I used to
[1:19:26] have an expectation that I can only
[1:19:28] meditate in silence.
[1:19:29] >> Yeah.
[1:19:30] >> And then
[1:19:31] when my kids were little and if they'd
[1:19:32] come or they'd you know, come into the
[1:19:35] room while I was meditating,
[1:19:37] it used to frustrate me.
[1:19:39] Right? And I thought
[1:19:41] it's ridiculous.
[1:19:42] >> Yeah.
[1:19:43] >> What a nice thing that they want to come
[1:19:44] and see their dad when they've woken up.
[1:19:46] They they want to come down. They're
[1:19:47] excited to see you. Why should that
[1:19:50] frustrate me? And I I instantly said,
[1:19:53] "Let go of my need for silence." I
[1:19:54] thought, "Well, why can't I just
[1:19:55] meditate when they're here as well?"
[1:19:57] >> Yeah.
[1:19:57] >> And I would do that often with my
[1:19:58] daughter. I'd meditate
[1:20:00] and I I'd open my eyes. I'd sit I'd
[1:20:02] smile at her and, you know, tap the
[1:20:04] carpet next to me. She'd come sometimes
[1:20:05] to sit next to me while I did it or
[1:20:07] she'd go off and read and then come back
[1:20:09] and
[1:20:09] >> Yeah.
[1:20:10] >> Yeah, so I just wanted to add that
[1:20:11] because many parents think, "Oh, I can't
[1:20:14] meditate now because the kids are making
[1:20:16] noise in the next room."
[1:20:18] I would say you still can.
[1:20:19] >> I couldn't agree more. Yeah, I mean I I
[1:20:21] actually I got a bit of a schooling in
[1:20:23] it when and in the early in my earliest
[1:20:25] days of meditating, I was a graduate
[1:20:27] student in London and I was often taking
[1:20:28] the tube and I'd do it on the tube.
[1:20:31] >> Mhm.
[1:20:31] >> I would, you know, I'd sit I'd have a
[1:20:33] 20-minute ride and it's it's long enough
[1:20:36] and I just listen to the conversation,
[1:20:38] the clacking of the tube, the noise of
[1:20:39] tube. It's it's absolutely valid.
[1:20:42] >> Yeah.
[1:20:43] >> You know, and right it's actually I
[1:20:44] started to really enjoy doing it in the
[1:20:46] thick of things. You're still the
[1:20:49] world's doing all its stuff around you.
[1:20:50] Beautiful.
[1:20:51] >> Yeah. And actually, you could argue if
[1:20:53] you want to if you want to use the sort
[1:20:54] of um
[1:20:56] strength or gym analogy, you you kind of
[1:21:00] you know, if you can do it there,
[1:21:02] >> Yeah.
[1:21:03] >> you can do it anywhere.
[1:21:04] >> Yeah.
[1:21:04] >> Right? If you do it when there's people
[1:21:05] around you or kids it's playing and
[1:21:08] shouting in the room next door,
[1:21:09] >> Yeah.
[1:21:10] >> you can it's pretty easy to do it in
[1:21:12] silence, you know? So, I think there's
[1:21:13] something about that side as well.
[1:21:15] >> You know, that I'll just say there's
[1:21:16] actually an old Zen saying that, you
[1:21:19] know, it's one thing to be able to
[1:21:20] meditate in a hermitage up in the
[1:21:22] mountains, but you haven't really got it
[1:21:25] till you can do it in the middle of a
[1:21:26] busy city street.
[1:21:27] >> Yeah.
[1:21:28] >> Yeah.
[1:21:28] >> There you go.
[1:21:29] >> [snorts]
[1:21:30] >> Okay, I quite like this question.
[1:21:32] Henry, I struggle with addiction and
[1:21:34] shame.
[1:21:35] >> Yeah.
[1:21:35] >> Can meditation help?
[1:21:37] >> Oh my gosh, yeah, it totally can. I
[1:21:40] mean, I I'm mercifully, I haven't had
[1:21:43] addiction issues myself, but shame I had
[1:21:45] I grew up with tons of shame from this
[1:21:47] disfiguring
[1:21:49] eczema I had as a as a kid and
[1:21:52] very difficult parental divorce and
[1:21:55] remarriage situation. I just lots and
[1:21:56] lots of shame.
[1:21:58] Um
[1:22:00] I believe stillness and quiet is
[1:22:05] healing.
[1:22:07] >> Mhm.
[1:22:08] >> I think there's a healing power,
[1:22:10] you know, that we can tap into
[1:22:13] when we're when we're still, when we
[1:22:15] come home to ourselves. Shame is almost
[1:22:18] the opposite of being at home with
[1:22:19] ourselves. It's like, I'm not good
[1:22:21] enough. I'm never good enough.
[1:22:23] And I and you know, I'm there's
[1:22:25] something wrong with me.
[1:22:26] You know, it's a it's a very painful
[1:22:28] thing.
[1:22:29] And I think I I want to say on the
[1:22:31] subject of addiction,
[1:22:33] you know, it's it's such a it's such an
[1:22:35] epidemic at the moment. There's there's
[1:22:38] so many of us
[1:22:40] have different kinds of addiction. You
[1:22:41] know, it's not all about substances,
[1:22:44] but many many many people have substance
[1:22:46] abuse issues.
[1:22:48] And it's so it's
[1:22:49] it's so easy to feel shame around it and
[1:22:53] stigmatized. And um
[1:22:56] you know, and unfortunately, society is
[1:22:59] not very wise about it still. They don't
[1:23:01] really understand the power of addiction
[1:23:03] and how it works.
[1:23:05] Um
[1:23:06] but many do, you know, and the there's
[1:23:10] there's a lot of communities as of
[1:23:12] support, of course, around addiction.
[1:23:14] >> Mhm.
[1:23:14] >> Um so I think one of the
[1:23:17] I would say
[1:23:19] um um we do have quite a few people on
[1:23:21] on on the app actually who are in
[1:23:22] recovery for addiction, which I'm really
[1:23:25] happy about personally. Um I would say
[1:23:29] just keep doing it. Keep doing it on a
[1:23:31] daily basis.
[1:23:33] And let it be
[1:23:36] part of your process of recovery
[1:23:39] to be recognizing your own shame
[1:23:42] and knowing that it's just
[1:23:45] a point of view,
[1:23:47] it's just a it's actually in a certain
[1:23:49] way it's just a a habit, an emotional
[1:23:51] habit.
[1:23:52] Um
[1:23:54] and that there is something larger that
[1:23:58] can hold it.
[1:23:59] That can hold our sense of shame.
[1:24:01] And and as we discover that more and
[1:24:04] more, that we ourselves have a greater
[1:24:06] capacity than we think we do to hold
[1:24:10] what ails us, including our shame. And
[1:24:12] it will it will gradually dissipate.
[1:24:15] We'll gradually you know, get freer of
[1:24:18] it. I I I speak from experience, you
[1:24:20] know, about that.
[1:24:23] >> I think the incredible power of
[1:24:26] solitude, one of the things that gives
[1:24:29] us is
[1:24:31] the ability to
[1:24:33] really experience what we're feeling.
[1:24:35] Yeah. When we don't distract with noise,
[1:24:37] we have to feel it. And you know, if you
[1:24:39] do that enough, you can process it and
[1:24:41] let it pass through you and go
[1:24:44] you know, that's not me. Yes, I know I'm
[1:24:46] feeling that, but I am something much
[1:24:48] bigger.
[1:24:49] >> Yes.
[1:24:50] >> I am so much deeper than that feeling.
[1:24:52] That feeling will go.
[1:24:54] >> Yes. Yes. Exactly.
[1:24:55] >> It will. They all go.
[1:24:56] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:24:57] >> But can you sit with it long enough to
[1:24:59] to allow it to go?
[1:25:00] >> Yes.
[1:25:01] >> Because a lot of our, you know, yes, you
[1:25:03] can have some quite serious addictions,
[1:25:05] but many people in
[1:25:08] the modern world have
[1:25:10] low-grade addictions, don't they?
[1:25:12] >> Totally.
[1:25:13] >> Don't we, I should say. You know, sugar,
[1:25:15] uh social media,
[1:25:17] um
[1:25:18] shopping on Amazon, whatever it might
[1:25:19] be, something to distract us
[1:25:21] >> Yes.
[1:25:21] >> away from our uncomfortable feelings.
[1:25:25] And I've certainly experienced in my own
[1:25:26] life, the more I can I'm able to sit in
[1:25:28] silence with nothing and be okay with
[1:25:31] that,
[1:25:32] the easier I find it to resist what
[1:25:36] might be considered temptations.
[1:25:38] >> Yes.
[1:25:39] >> And so so one of the one of the things I
[1:25:40] was
[1:25:41] hoping to ask you, Henry,
[1:25:43] is
[1:25:45] is about human behavior.
[1:25:49] So, I'm fascinated by human behavior.
[1:25:51] Why is it, despite knowing
[1:25:55] the right things, all the things that we
[1:25:57] want to do for ourselves,
[1:25:59] we end up self-sabotaging so much, you
[1:26:02] know?
[1:26:03] Uh Anyone, for example, to to make it
[1:26:05] really practical, who
[1:26:07] is trying to improve their health and
[1:26:09] well-being probably knows that excessive
[1:26:12] sugar consumption
[1:26:13] is probably not helping them.
[1:26:16] Yet, many are still engaging with it,
[1:26:18] right? So, there's a There's a gap
[1:26:19] between knowledge and doing.
[1:26:21] >> Right.
[1:26:22] >> Right?
[1:26:22] >> Yeah.
[1:26:24] >> Well, let me put it to you. Like, you
[1:26:26] you've been meditating for, as you said
[1:26:28] before, almost 40 years.
[1:26:32] Since I've met you, you strike me as
[1:26:34] someone who is
[1:26:37] very calm, serene, balanced. Now, of
[1:26:40] course, that could just be when you're
[1:26:41] showing up with me or running a
[1:26:42] meditation retreat. I don't know what
[1:26:44] you're like at other times, right?
[1:26:47] But, I guess question one to you is
[1:26:51] in terms of these sorts of uh low-grade
[1:26:54] addictions that many of us have,
[1:26:57] let's let's say sugar and social media,
[1:26:59] for example, okay?
[1:27:02] Have you found that as you've gone
[1:27:03] deeper into meditation,
[1:27:07] your behaviors have changed?
[1:27:10] >> Yes, I would say it does get much easier
[1:27:14] to see
[1:27:16] urges towards doing things and to not
[1:27:19] need to obey them.
[1:27:22] I want to just put it this way. It's not
[1:27:24] that
[1:27:25] the urges don't arise, and
[1:27:30] and it's also not that I need to get rid
[1:27:32] of them. It's that I can allow them.
[1:27:34] Cuz when we can allow it,
[1:27:37] um we can just watch it go by itself.
[1:27:40] That we don't have to push it away. We
[1:27:42] just let that impulse be towards
[1:27:47] something that isn't going to be good
[1:27:48] us.
[1:27:49] We just let it arise
[1:27:52] and allow it. It's as simple as that
[1:27:54] because to allow it
[1:27:56] is to let it be itself and then it just
[1:28:00] evaporates.
[1:28:01] And it doesn't even matter if it doesn't
[1:28:03] evaporate cuz we're allowing it. You see
[1:28:05] what I mean? I'm not meaning that we
[1:28:07] allow ourselves to do it. We allow the
[1:28:09] urge to do something that wouldn't be
[1:28:11] good for us
[1:28:12] to to just manifest.
[1:28:15] And actually it's very I find it's very
[1:28:17] beautiful to watch them.
[1:28:20] Cuz they're actually
[1:28:22] it's an amazing thing. Oh, this this
[1:28:25] thing is this system is doing this thing
[1:28:27] and I can just watch it.
[1:28:29] >> Well, that's kind of a theme throughout
[1:28:31] today's conversation. Isn't it? It's
[1:28:33] about how do we change our relationship
[1:28:35] to things?
[1:28:36] >> Exactly.
[1:28:37] >> Not Not necessarily changing the thing,
[1:28:39] but our relationship to it.
[1:28:41] >> Yeah, that's right.
[1:28:42] >> Our relationship to life, our
[1:28:43] relationship to reality, our
[1:28:45] relationship to the urge to pick up our
[1:28:47] phone.
[1:28:48] >> Yes. Yes. Yes.
[1:28:49] >> And and a lot of people who never
[1:28:51] created space between the urge and the
[1:28:53] action
[1:28:54] >> Yeah.
[1:28:56] >> don't know yet just how powerful it is
[1:28:58] to even pop in 2 minutes in between.
[1:29:01] >> That's right. 2 minutes. Yes, right.
[1:29:03] >> Even 5 minutes.
[1:29:04] >> Yes.
[1:29:04] >> You just start to separate the urge and
[1:29:06] the action.
[1:29:07] >> Exactly.
[1:29:08] >> I personally believe that's 80 90% of
[1:29:13] the change that you you might be
[1:29:14] seeking.
[1:29:15] >> You know, that there's some research in
[1:29:16] the world of addiction actually that
[1:29:18] says
[1:29:19] typically cravings, which is a big issue
[1:29:22] for people with, you know, substance
[1:29:23] abuse issues,
[1:29:24] last 15 seconds.
[1:29:27] The I don't know where that research
[1:29:28] came from, but I know that is a that's a
[1:29:30] that's
[1:29:31] that's not very long.
[1:29:33] >> No.
[1:29:33] >> Three slow breaths or not particularly
[1:29:35] slow breaths,
[1:29:37] but when they come they're so powerful
[1:29:39] and they're loaded with so much
[1:29:42] um associated emotional, you know,
[1:29:45] material that's very difficult to just
[1:29:48] let them be, but for for people with
[1:29:50] substance abuse issues, but if they if
[1:29:52] we can if they can [clears throat]
[1:29:55] 15 seconds
[1:29:56] they'll start to tail off.
[1:29:58] >> Yeah.
[1:29:58] >> And again, bringing up another theme
[1:29:59] from this conversation, if you're not
[1:30:01] regularly engaging in
[1:30:04] stillness
[1:30:05] >> Mhm.
[1:30:07] >> that internal speedometer
[1:30:09] >> That's right.
[1:30:10] >> is running at a different pace.
[1:30:12] >> Oh, yeah.
[1:30:13] >> And therefore
[1:30:15] you know
[1:30:16] the the space between your urge and your
[1:30:18] behavior isn't very much at all.
[1:30:20] >> No.
[1:30:20] >> But if you can train yourself to just to
[1:30:23] slow down even 5 10 minutes a day
[1:30:26] >> Yeah.
[1:30:26] >> you know, you're you're much more likely
[1:30:28] to be able to put some space in between
[1:30:30] that urge and the behavior later on.
[1:30:32] >> I couldn't agree more.
[1:30:33] >> think people really get that. It's like
[1:30:35] it's not just about that urge. It's you
[1:30:38] know, how are you running outside that
[1:30:40] urge which then will impact your your
[1:30:43] you know, your ability to resist or not
[1:30:45] act on it.
[1:30:46] >> That's exactly right. It's like getting
[1:30:48] upstream.
[1:30:49] >> Yeah.
[1:30:49] >> A little bit of work upstream.
[1:30:51] >> Yeah.
[1:30:51] >> Okay, a few more questions. I mean,
[1:30:53] there's so many. I don't know if we'll
[1:30:54] get through them all, Henry.
[1:30:56] Can meditation help me realize
[1:30:59] I'm worthy of love?
[1:31:02] >> That's beautiful. Um
[1:31:04] I can say in my own life
[1:31:07] it has been absolutely pivotal for me to
[1:31:11] to discover
[1:31:13] not just being worthy of love, but
[1:31:16] there's a love already here.
[1:31:19] I mean, I don't want to get too woo-woo,
[1:31:20] you know.
[1:31:21] >> [laughter]
[1:31:22] >> There's a loving presence.
[1:31:24] There's a presence
[1:31:26] in our experience right now.
[1:31:29] And it's I don't mean a presence of
[1:31:31] something divine or something like that,
[1:31:33] but there's a
[1:31:35] I don't know what else to call it. A
[1:31:36] presence here.
[1:31:38] And it's it's awake. It's alive. In some
[1:31:42] way, it's who we really are.
[1:31:44] And it has a it has a loving
[1:31:47] quality to it.
[1:31:49] We just sense it more and more that
[1:31:51] that's it's sort of love is in the air.
[1:31:54] You know, it's sort of it's here.
[1:31:57] And it is is I in in a way I feel
[1:32:00] Oh my gosh, maybe that's the real reason
[1:32:04] to meditate is cuz we get to know
[1:32:09] a loving quality in the fabric of
[1:32:12] existence.
[1:32:13] >> Yeah.
[1:32:14] >> More and more.
[1:32:17] >> I love that.
[1:32:19] I I can't imagine someone will go
[1:32:21] through the pathway on the way and not
[1:32:25] at some point start to realize that they
[1:32:27] are worthy of love.
[1:32:28] I think that will be a natural
[1:32:30] byproduct.
[1:32:31] >> Yeah.
[1:32:32] >> If you show up and do the sets.
[1:32:35] >> Yes. Yes. Yes.
[1:32:36] >> Right.
[1:32:36] >> I really hope so. You know, I mean I was
[1:32:39] going to say that
[1:32:41] I've met many people over the years who
[1:32:45] what really opened that up for them, a
[1:32:49] sense of being loved or having love as
[1:32:53] part of their life experience was was
[1:32:56] something really difficult. They went
[1:32:58] through something, you know, tragic loss
[1:33:01] or a a really you know, very difficult
[1:33:03] situation, maybe a
[1:33:05] a very grave diagnosis or something like
[1:33:08] that, you know, either for them or
[1:33:09] someone they loved. And in that sort of
[1:33:12] extremity of human experience and
[1:33:15] suffering
[1:33:18] a shift happened.
[1:33:20] Where something gave way.
[1:33:23] That they might not have wanted to give
[1:33:24] way.
[1:33:25] They thought they needed it. Whatever it
[1:33:28] might have been, but it did. And instead
[1:33:31] of finding um that they were um
[1:33:35] unable to cope
[1:33:37] they found
[1:33:39] that they were met and held by another
[1:33:41] dimension of of their own experience
[1:33:44] that that was loving. And so there's a
[1:33:48] there's a strange
[1:33:50] phenomenon whereby
[1:33:53] the giving up of our coping
[1:33:57] strategies
[1:33:59] with difficult things
[1:34:02] can actually be the thing that opens us
[1:34:04] up
[1:34:06] to a discovery that we didn't need those
[1:34:08] coping strategies to begin with. Yeah.
[1:34:10] We surrender.
[1:34:12] And and actually it's okay.
[1:34:14] >> [clears throat]
[1:34:14] >> In fact, it's a blessing.
[1:34:16] You know, we we discover something that
[1:34:19] we hadn't known about our very life.
[1:34:22] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:34:25] I really like this question
[1:34:27] because I think it will be a very common
[1:34:29] sentiment with people who
[1:34:32] have tried meditation, have heard about
[1:34:34] the benefits of meditation.
[1:34:36] And it's this, Henry.
[1:34:38] I enjoy my sets, but I have a hard time
[1:34:41] carrying anything from them
[1:34:43] into the rest of my day.
[1:34:46] Often when I start meditating
[1:34:49] I realize I haven't really been aware
[1:34:52] since my last set the previous morning.
[1:34:56] How do we apply what we do in meditation
[1:35:00] to the rest of our lives?
[1:35:02] >> I can so relate to this.
[1:35:04] >> The $64,000 question.
[1:35:06] >> I know. I mean I'm I'm I totally
[1:35:08] remember. It's very well described. I
[1:35:09] mean, I remember this at early days of
[1:35:11] meditating. Exactly that. It's like
[1:35:14] Oh my gosh, where have I been the last
[1:35:15] 24 hours? I'm now sitting again.
[1:35:18] Suddenly I'm aware again. It's like
[1:35:20] literally, what what where where has
[1:35:23] this awareness been since I was last
[1:35:25] meditating? So, here's my take on this.
[1:35:28] Number one,
[1:35:31] you cannot overstate the value of
[1:35:34] patience.
[1:35:35] >> [laughter]
[1:35:36] >> It just comes.
[1:35:38] >> In the 21st century, we're not patient
[1:35:39] anymore, Henry, are we?
[1:35:41] >> That's old fashioned.
[1:35:42] >> That's old fashioned. You know, if we
[1:35:43] want something now, we go online, we get
[1:35:45] it delivered that evening. I mean, I
[1:35:47] joke, but
[1:35:49] I I
[1:35:50] that that joke is tinged with
[1:35:52] seriousness. I I kind of feel people
[1:35:54] >> [sighs and gasps]
[1:35:55] >> have become
[1:35:56] so impatient. We even Oh, meditation's
[1:35:59] good, is it? All right, let me try it.
[1:36:00] Yeah, I tried it for 3 days. It's no
[1:36:02] good. I can't meditate. It's like, okay,
[1:36:04] wait a minute. Wait a minute. Like, you
[1:36:07] would not apply that to anything else,
[1:36:10] right?
[1:36:10] >> You You know, if you want
[1:36:11] >> if you if you want to learn get a far
[1:36:13] get get athletic training. You know it's
[1:36:15] going to take time.
[1:36:16] >> You want to be a good snooker player?
[1:36:17] >> Yeah.
[1:36:18] >> You know you're not going to just try
[1:36:19] three times and suddenly be doing 50
[1:36:21] plus breaks. Right. You have to put in
[1:36:23] the work. But somehow we we think it's
[1:36:26] different. But But [laughter] anyway, so
[1:36:28] you're saying patience is important.
[1:36:30] >> I think that's sort of number one. I
[1:36:31] mean, actually
[1:36:34] the reason I think that's so important
[1:36:35] is that if we get that
[1:36:39] this this is a long path.
[1:36:42] It's going to take time.
[1:36:43] You'll already probably start finding
[1:36:46] more awareness coming up just with that
[1:36:48] attitude and all shift.
[1:36:51] But secondly, we can do little things.
[1:36:53] There are little, if you like, hacks.
[1:36:55] You can do a thing where where I found
[1:36:57] this helpful.
[1:36:59] Um
[1:37:01] anytime there's a sort of transition
[1:37:03] in your day, meaning you've been sitting
[1:37:06] down and you're about to stand up or
[1:37:08] you're about to open a door.
[1:37:10] Uh you know,
[1:37:11] the most basic sort of transitions or
[1:37:14] you're moving, yeah, from one room to
[1:37:15] another. You're going from inside to
[1:37:17] outside.
[1:37:18] Every time see if you can notice every
[1:37:20] time there's a transition, however
[1:37:21] small,
[1:37:23] notice that there is one.
[1:37:25] And then that's enough.
[1:37:27] That can be enough right there. Just to
[1:37:29] notice I'm going from sitting to
[1:37:32] standing.
[1:37:33] If you want a little bit extra, it would
[1:37:35] be
[1:37:36] be aware of an in breath and an out
[1:37:38] breath and then stand up. Be aware of an
[1:37:41] in breath and out breath and then go
[1:37:43] through the door.
[1:37:45] You'll find just those little micro
[1:37:47] moments. [clears throat] They make a big
[1:37:48] difference.
[1:37:49] >> Yeah, I I mean, I I've experienced it
[1:37:51] myself, you know. They They feel
[1:37:54] they feel almost insignificant, but
[1:37:57] you're bringing yourself back to your
[1:37:58] body, to your breath, to here and now.
[1:38:01] >> And even that question, if you think
[1:38:02] about it, often when I start meditating
[1:38:05] I realize I haven't really been aware
[1:38:08] since my last sit the previous morning.
[1:38:10] >> Yeah.
[1:38:11] >> Well, you know what? That is awareness.
[1:38:13] >> Yeah, of course it is. Exactly.
[1:38:14] >> That is literally what we're talking
[1:38:16] about.
[1:38:16] >> I know. That's progress.
[1:38:17] >> That is progress. And And
[1:38:19] >> That's really good. That's really good.
[1:38:21] >> and I I I
[1:38:22] I I would see this in practice all the
[1:38:23] time anyway. I think the principle
[1:38:25] applies here.
[1:38:26] I I I would for many years see
[1:38:29] people who'd been ill for years
[1:38:31] and they were looking for someone to
[1:38:34] really take an alternative root cause
[1:38:36] approach with them. Okay? And I'd see
[1:38:37] them for about an hour, hour and a half.
[1:38:40] So, we try to understand what is driving
[1:38:41] this and how can we help it?
[1:38:44] And one thing I noticed very early on is
[1:38:48] even if this patient is significantly
[1:38:50] better in 2 months' time,
[1:38:53] they've forgotten the things that are
[1:38:54] better. They're focused on the things
[1:38:56] that are still not going well.
[1:38:59] Right?
[1:38:59] >> Right. Right. Yeah.
[1:39:01] >> And that's not a criticism. That's just
[1:39:02] I think the human condition.
[1:39:04] And so, we have these things in in
[1:39:06] medicine called symptom questionnaires,
[1:39:09] right?
[1:39:10] And so, the practice would be when they
[1:39:14] first came in and I took their full
[1:39:16] history, but I okay, I'd like to fill
[1:39:18] this in as well. It's a lot of questions
[1:39:20] and they'd have a score. So, it could be
[1:39:23] that their score was 67 out of 100 in
[1:39:25] terms of symptoms.
[1:39:27] And that meant if in 2 or 3 months' time
[1:39:29] if I'd managed to, you know, help them
[1:39:31] make some improvements
[1:39:34] and they were saying, "Oh, you know,
[1:39:35] things aren't getting better. You know,
[1:39:37] I've still you know, I'm struggling with
[1:39:39] this this and this." I'd get them to
[1:39:40] redo the the questionnaire. And it is
[1:39:43] amazing how many times they'd start at
[1:39:45] 67, they're now only scoring 17. Right?
[1:39:49] >> Right.
[1:39:50] >> Which is great improvement and
[1:39:52] and I guess it's a shift in perspective.
[1:39:54] They're like,
[1:39:55] "Oh, yeah.
[1:39:57] I didn't realize that all these other
[1:39:58] things that I was struggling with have
[1:40:00] gone." Right? So, it was a beautiful way
[1:40:02] of demonstrating improvement.
[1:40:05] >> Yeah.
[1:40:06] >> And I guess that relates to that
[1:40:07] question. I think the question in and of
[1:40:09] itself shows that that person is
[1:40:11] becoming more aware.
[1:40:12] >> Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah.
[1:40:14] >> Yeah.
[1:40:14] >> [laughter]
[1:40:15] >> Okay, let's go to this as a last
[1:40:16] question. I think it's quite an
[1:40:18] interesting one.
[1:40:20] Henry, I live with someone who is often
[1:40:23] anxious, pessimistic, and controlling,
[1:40:27] which can trigger reactivity in me.
[1:40:31] How can I remain calm and less reactive
[1:40:35] in the moment
[1:40:36] without getting pulled into that energy,
[1:40:39] so this pattern doesn't keep repeating?
[1:40:43] >> Yes, that's beautiful.
[1:40:44] >> It's a great question.
[1:40:45] >> Yeah, it really is. I mean, I would I
[1:40:47] would want to ask, you know, for this
[1:40:49] person first of all, actually, have they
[1:40:51] been meditating for a while and they've
[1:40:53] come to see more clearly how this
[1:40:55] pattern is working, which they might not
[1:40:57] have seen before, because I it's a good
[1:41:00] analysis of it. They're actually
[1:41:02] realizing
[1:41:04] that when they're in the thick of it
[1:41:06] with with their partner or loved one or
[1:41:08] whoever it is that they're living with,
[1:41:10] um that's
[1:41:12] anxious and controlling,
[1:41:14] they tank. Their awareness gets sucked
[1:41:16] into that, and they they no longer
[1:41:17] aware, and they get reactive. So,
[1:41:20] to be able to state that again is a
[1:41:23] level of awareness.
[1:41:24] >> Yeah.
[1:41:24] >> You know. Now, I think this is this is
[1:41:26] probably more common than we'd like to
[1:41:28] think, actually. Um because, you know,
[1:41:32] we're complex beings, and our
[1:41:33] relationships are complex, especially
[1:41:35] when they're close, and it's very easy
[1:41:38] for us to get
[1:41:40] caught in relationship dynamics that can
[1:41:43] get very habitual, and and they can get
[1:41:45] very set in their ways.
[1:41:47] Here's the meditative sort of formula
[1:41:51] and um prescription, as it were, is that
[1:41:54] rather than first off trying to get them
[1:41:58] to behave differently or trying to make
[1:42:00] the relationship dynamic different,
[1:42:03] the first step is actually
[1:42:06] that you do the
[1:42:08] you need
[1:42:09] to stay more with yourself, to stay more
[1:42:12] balanced and grounded in yourself. The
[1:42:14] daily practice, obviously, as it as
[1:42:16] we've been saying, is going to be key to
[1:42:18] that.
[1:42:20] As that gets stronger and as you get
[1:42:23] more grounded and sort of know yourself
[1:42:26] better,
[1:42:27] so that you understand your own dynamics
[1:42:30] and how they get switched on, how you
[1:42:33] get triggered and caught up in the
[1:42:35] relationship dynamic. As you get clearer
[1:42:38] about that,
[1:42:40] you'll be able to navigate,
[1:42:43] interact in the moment in a different
[1:42:45] way.
[1:42:46] >> Mhm.
[1:42:47] >> But it's it's really going to It sort of
[1:42:49] comes down to you can't
[1:42:52] It's It's not The wise course is not to
[1:42:54] be trying to change them.
[1:42:57] It's to be working on yourself. You
[1:43:00] know, there's a in in some
[1:43:02] in some schools, there's a there's a
[1:43:03] there's a saying, let it begin with me.
[1:43:06] That if I take on my responsibility
[1:43:09] for for myself in this dynamic,
[1:43:13] we actually may be very surprised by how
[1:43:17] different
[1:43:18] >> Yeah.
[1:43:18] >> the relationship becomes.
[1:43:19] >> Yeah.
[1:43:20] >> Because we've taken responsibility for
[1:43:22] our part.
[1:43:23] And that means I'm going to stay
[1:43:25] grounded in myself
[1:43:27] >> Yeah.
[1:43:27] >> the best I can. And I know that I'll get
[1:43:29] pulled out at times, but I know that my
[1:43:31] intention is to be more,
[1:43:33] you know, with myself,
[1:43:35] balanced, grounded, centered, knowing,
[1:43:38] sensing, you know, my own
[1:43:41] place in the world here.
[1:43:44] Yeah.
[1:43:45] >> You mentioned the word intention there,
[1:43:47] and I think
[1:43:50] again, that's a very much
[1:43:53] under-emphasized
[1:43:55] sentiment.
[1:43:59] This question, which I think many people
[1:44:01] who are listening right now will will
[1:44:02] probably have experienced themselves. I
[1:44:04] mean,
[1:44:05] you know, often it's our loved ones who
[1:44:06] get the worst of us, right? That the the
[1:44:09] irony there, right?
[1:44:10] >> It is. It is. Yeah.
[1:44:12] >> But what of the things I love about my
[1:44:14] morning solitude practice, which
[1:44:16] includes meditation,
[1:44:19] is the intention behind it. And one of
[1:44:21] the intentions I set, and and very much
[1:44:23] so over the past few weeks, has been
[1:44:27] an intention to live the day with a
[1:44:29] fully open heart.
[1:44:33] And if you keep reminding yourself of
[1:44:35] that every morning,
[1:44:38] the chances are that you're going to do
[1:44:39] it more often than before. Yeah.
[1:44:42] You know, you may react at one point,
[1:44:44] but then the following morning in your
[1:44:45] practice,
[1:44:47] you can acknowledge that and be truthful
[1:44:48] and go, "Hey, you know." And and and
[1:44:50] also try and figure out "Why did I yes
[1:44:53] Ah, you know what? I didn't meditate. I
[1:44:56] I was rushing around. I didn't go for my
[1:44:58] walk." Whatever it might be, you start
[1:44:59] to understand [clears throat] yourself
[1:45:00] better. And and I completely agree. You
[1:45:03] know,
[1:45:04] trying to get the other person to change
[1:45:06] is one of the most futile endeavors in
[1:45:09] life. And you keep trying and trying We
[1:45:13] all do it.
[1:45:14] >> [laughter]
[1:45:14] >> Until you realize
[1:45:15] this is a freaking waste of time, right?
[1:45:18] Cuz you've got no control over that. But
[1:45:20] as you say, you know, when you change
[1:45:22] yourself,
[1:45:24] you change the relationship.
[1:45:26] The dynamic changes. Like the
[1:45:29] the kind of alchemy within it, the sort
[1:45:31] of the balance, it's different.
[1:45:34] Right? So you stay grounded, that thing
[1:45:37] is not going to blow up as much as if
[1:45:39] you had reacted.
[1:45:41] And you're not perfect, you're not going
[1:45:43] to be perfect, but if you keep reminding
[1:45:45] yourself every day, little by little,
[1:45:47] things start to change.
[1:45:54] Anyway, I love chatting to you. I think
[1:45:56] we went into quite a different direction
[1:45:58] today compared to our last two
[1:46:00] conversations, which were perhaps a bit
[1:46:02] more practical about meditation, but I
[1:46:04] think
[1:46:05] the conversation we had about awakening,
[1:46:07] I think it's really important cuz there
[1:46:09] will almost certainly be people who have
[1:46:11] experienced that themselves. But
[1:46:13] honestly, the thing that I really really
[1:46:16] have I'm on a mission in a way to
[1:46:18] because when I was a young man and this
[1:46:20] thing happened to me where I discovered
[1:46:22] something about the nature of being
[1:46:24] alive that was so different from
[1:46:26] anything I'd ever been taught or heard
[1:46:28] about or knew about and yet was
[1:46:30] undeniably somehow true. Um
[1:46:34] I wish it had been more available in
[1:46:37] from to understanding of it, you know?
[1:46:39] So, and I do think it happens. I think,
[1:46:42] you know, many people get a little
[1:46:44] glimpse of something another order of
[1:46:46] things and I think I think it's really
[1:46:48] um because it's part of our makeup and
[1:46:51] it but it isn't something that has been
[1:46:52] taught about in the West very much at
[1:46:54] all. So, I think it's really important
[1:46:56] that
[1:46:57] we get uh some sense of this
[1:46:59] possibility, human possibility, kind of
[1:47:02] out there more.
[1:47:03] I don't want people to have the hard
[1:47:06] time that I had
[1:47:07] for a number of years sort of flailing
[1:47:10] about trying to understand what on earth
[1:47:11] had happened to me.
[1:47:12] It's, you know, it's I I I I really
[1:47:15] think it's I want people to know, you
[1:47:18] know, that if in case it happens it's
[1:47:20] already happened to them and they
[1:47:21] wondered what that was or or if they're
[1:47:23] curious about it or if they feel some
[1:47:25] sort of calling, you know, to pursue
[1:47:27] this
[1:47:28] mystery of our being alive at all.
[1:47:31] It's great to know there is a path,
[1:47:33] yeah, you know. Thank you for uh letting
[1:47:35] us go in this in this wild direction.
[1:47:38] >> I wonder if we could finish off, Henry,
[1:47:41] thinking about the individual who
[1:47:45] is struggling at the moment.
[1:47:47] So, they've heard what we've had to say,
[1:47:50] but they still feel, you know what, life
[1:47:51] is difficult. They're caught up in the
[1:47:53] stress of life. Maybe a relationship has
[1:47:56] ended
[1:47:57] and they don't know what to do about it.
[1:48:00] They think their well-being is dependent
[1:48:02] on things in their external world
[1:48:04] changing
[1:48:06] and they're feeling a bit lost.
[1:48:07] >> Yeah.
[1:48:08] >> You've got a lot of experience helping
[1:48:10] people through situations like this.
[1:48:13] You've been in similar situations
[1:48:15] yourself,
[1:48:17] what
[1:48:17] >> would your final words of wisdom be for
[1:48:19] that individual?
[1:48:20] >> Yeah.
[1:48:21] Rowan, I'm wondering I've got a not very
[1:48:24] long poem
[1:48:26] >> [clears throat]
[1:48:26] >> that I could share.
[1:48:26] >> I'd love to hear it.
[1:48:27] >> Yeah.
[1:48:28] >> Yeah.
[1:48:28] >> It's called Frozen Lake. And it's it's
[1:48:31] about going through really hard times,
[1:48:34] you know, and I think I'll just I'll
[1:48:36] just I'll just recite it and just see
[1:48:38] how it lands it lands with you.
[1:48:42] Frozen Lake.
[1:48:44] When I think of friends who have been
[1:48:47] through the worst,
[1:48:49] through the dread love lives with,
[1:48:52] through the terrible fear anxiety can
[1:48:55] only dream of,
[1:48:57] I feel sorry for the rest.
[1:49:00] For those who had it all as they had
[1:49:02] hoped,
[1:49:04] who crossed the frozen lake from one
[1:49:06] side to the other never guessing the
[1:49:09] great dark beneath.
[1:49:13] But those for whom the lake cracked and
[1:49:17] opened,
[1:49:19] who fell into its unspeakable night
[1:49:23] while still walking upright in the light
[1:49:26] of this world,
[1:49:28] whose hearts burst and met
[1:49:31] its waters,
[1:49:33] for them
[1:49:34] there is no consolation
[1:49:37] nor is any
[1:49:40] needed.
[1:49:46] Yeah.
[1:49:48] That poem came out of personal
[1:49:50] experience
[1:49:52] and as well as
[1:49:54] many
[1:49:55] difficult times people have have shared
[1:49:57] with me.
[1:49:58] And the discovery that, you know, in the
[1:50:01] depths
[1:50:03] of desperation and and extremity of
[1:50:06] catastrophic loss,
[1:50:09] that's where we can find
[1:50:11] that we're we're held
[1:50:14] by something that's already here, by
[1:50:16] what we already are,
[1:50:18] and where our sense of separateness
[1:50:21] can dissolve.
[1:50:23] And we find we're not alone.
[1:50:27] >> What a beautiful way
[1:50:29] to
[1:50:30] end this podcast, Henry,
[1:50:32] with a with a poem.
[1:50:34] I don't think there's much more
[1:50:36] for me to say
[1:50:38] beyond thank you.
[1:50:39] >> Thank you so much for
[1:50:41] having me on again.
[1:50:43] It's it's a such a joy to be with you.
[1:50:45] >> If you enjoyed this video, do stick
[1:50:47] around. I've picked out this one, which
[1:50:50] I think you're really going to enjoy, as
[1:50:51] well.
[1:50:53] >> [music]