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Inspiration

Each One Reach One: From Overdose to a Home of Prayer

Sarah Laing
Sarah Laing
Apr 26, 2020
12 min de lectura

De FBC London

Ver · 8

In a short recording posted by First Baptist Church of London in April 2020, a woman stands before the congregation and runs through her children the way a bandleader calls off the players before a count-in. Joshua is 17. Marissa is nearly 16. Mason has just turned 13. Alex turned 12 about a week earlier. Erica is 8. Nobody in the room needs the ages explained. What they are getting is the long way round to how five children ended up under one roof: roughly ten years of active addiction, thirteen overdoses in a single summer, a jail cell, a handwritten verse found in a prayer room, and a courtroom where a judge sent the children home with her. The talk, delivered under the title "Each One Reach One," is a testimony in the older sense of the word. It is less a sermon about faith than an account of a life in which faith arrived in the worst place available and rearranged everything after it. Its real subject is surrender, and what that surrender looks like once it becomes a daily routine of reading Scripture and praying with children at the kitchen table.

Leer · 9 secciones

Why does a testimony begin with the children?

The speaker opens with the kids because they are the proof, and because the church's own history with them is part of the story. Early in the recording she says the children "came here and everybody just loved them," and that the congregation "has like really been involved in their life their entire life." That detail matters for how the rest of the talk lands. A testimony like this is never only about one person's rock bottom. It is about the people who were watching when the bottom came, and who stayed around afterward.

It also sets the stakes of the arithmetic she will return to. Five children is not an abstraction. Each name carries an age, and the ages are the clock. A reader who has never sat in a church pew for a testimony may still feel the weight of that roll call: these are kids who were old enough to remember what happened.

How does ten years of addiction look from the inside?

The speaker's account of addiction is not a catalogue of drugs or a set of cautionary scenes. It is a description of a search. "Since I was a kid," she says, "just always searching and trying to find that love." She looked for it in men and in other people's attention, and she describes the people around her as "always trying to just you know make me feel better." The insight she arrives at is the one that gives the talk its emotional center: "when you're lost in addiction it's not a real love you know you can't even love yourself let alone five little kids."

That sentence explains a great deal about how the story is built. Addiction, as she tells it, is a closed loop in which the need for love is real but the places it is sought are empty. Her children did not stop being the center of her life; the addiction simply left her unable to act on that love. She is careful about this distinction. She does not say she did not love her kids. She says she could not love them in any way that counted, because she had no ground to stand on herself.

The summer of 2018 is where the account turns hard. Social services had become involved. Her caretaker, Joanne, had been keeping the children, and the speaker is openly grateful to her: "she was there when I wasn't." Then the number: "summer of 2018 I overdosed 13 times. I was trying to die just because I don't have no help." It is the kind of detail a testimony cannot dress up. Thirteen is a number that stops a room, and she lets it sit without elaboration.

Can a hospital room hold a turning point?

After one of those overdoses, the speaker found herself alone in a hospital room with a nurse named Lisa, who came in every morning and cared for her. Lisa's own faith gave the speaker something to hold. "She said I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me," the speaker recalls, citing the verse as Philippians 4:13. Her first reaction was dismissive ("I was like lady's crazy"), but she says the words "did something to me inside. It really did."

What she describes next is a prayer that is less a performance than an admission. She tells God that she does not know what to pray, that she cannot manage this herself, and that "something has got to be how to be something more." That is the hinge of the whole account: a woman who had run out of her own strategies beginning, however awkwardly, to ask for help from outside herself. The phrase "it was just me and God there" carries the weight of that moment. There was no program or institution yet. There was a bed, a nurse, and a plea.

Why did arrest feel like freedom?

About a week after that night, she was arrested. Most people would not describe an arrest as the good part of a story, and she does not frame it entirely that way, but she does name the paradox directly. "I never thought I'd say it," she tells the congregation, "but man saved my life and it saved my soul." She had been in and out of addiction long enough to know that the chase itself was the prison. In the moment of arrest she felt something she had not felt in years: "I was truly free like there was no more no more chasing no more fear none of that. It was over."

When the judge handed down a 365-day sentence, she says she was happy, and that for the first time she had joy in her. The sentence was the consequence of everything she had done, and she accepts that. But she describes a change that began in the cell. She started praying for people she would never normally have prayed for. She noticed that she was different without quite knowing how. The language she uses is careful. She was "not chasing, seeking at this point," she says, but she "knew I was different." That kind of unsought change is a recurring idea in testimonies of this type: the sense that something is happening before you have the vocabulary for it.

What does surrender actually look like in a prayer room?

The turn that gives the talk its title comes at Hope City, the residential program where she was sent after her release. She did not want to go. Her plan, as she tells it, was another jail cell, "maybe a smaller one," or somewhere full of people who wanted to change. When she arrived, she told the staff that they would have to take her back. "I can't face me," she says. "I can't face all the hurt that I've done to my kids. I can't face my family." The staff pushed back. They told her God had a plan for her life and that she could do this.

What happened in the prayer room is the part of the recording most listeners will remember. She describes fighting it: rolling her eyes, sliding up and down the pews, restless and resistant. Then she found that she could not get up. Looking back, she says she understands it as "Lord keeping me still." She walked to the pulpit, picked up a white Bible, and a handwritten scripture on a piece of paper fell into her lap. The verse, she says, was the one she had framed at home, the one about doing all things through Christ. She calls it her "first real God moment."

The surrender itself is worth reading closely, because it is not a tidy act of gratitude. She prays: "Though you slay me, I'll still serve you." She asks God to help her accept that this is his will for somebody else, to use her situation for his glory. Surrender, in her telling, is not the removal of fear or doubt. It is the decision to keep serving while the fear is still present, and it is hard. "Tears just start rolling," she says. She describes the effort of trying not to doubt and not to fear as "super hard." What changed was not her feelings about the outcome. It was her direction. "The more I have him," she says, "the more that emptiness inside was filled, it was gone. I no longer ate for love."

How did a courtroom ruling become a ministry?

The legal outcome is the other half of the story. Her recommendation going into the courtroom had been supervised visits, which she describes as "the best shot at being a mommy to them kids." Instead the judge ruled that she should go live with her mother, work the case plan, and that all five children would come to Hope City with her on July 1. She reports that she dropped to her knees in the courtroom, threw her arms in the air, and praised God on the spot. "I knew it was only by his grace and mercy," she says.

From there the talk moves into what she describes as her calling. "We are called to disciple our children," she says. "That is our ministry as women. We are to teach them about Jesus and the true love of God, and to make them good godly young men and women and raise them in the Lord." The word "disciple" here is not abstract. It is a daily practice she lays out with some precision: every night the family reads the Word together, chapter by chapter, and every night they pray together.

What does a home built on nightly Scripture sound like?

The most striking passages of the talk are the children's prayers, as she recounts them. She describes each child's nightly contribution with the attention of someone who has been listening closely. Mason, whom she says "everybody thinks is gonna be a preacher," opens with gratitude for grace and mercy. Then he thanks God for something most parents would never want said aloud in a church: "thank you for letting me see my mom and dad be drug addicts," because, as she quotes him, "I know who you are." Alex prays "let this be a short life so I can see your face." Erica prays about the land of milk and honey, a phrase the speaker admits she is not sure the child fully understands, though she believes Erica does. Joshua plays guitar and sings to the Lord. Marissa, she says, seems joyful.

It is worth pausing on Mason's prayer, because it captures what the talk is doing. The gratitude is not a denial of what the children lived through. It is a reframing: the parents' addiction is included in the account of God's faithfulness rather than erased from it. A listener might find that uncomfortable, and the speaker does not smooth the edges. She simply reports what her children say.

Where does the talk leave the listener?

The recording closes in the language of the two great commandments, to love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself, and then turns to the idea of breath in the lungs as the reason for gratitude. That is a fitting end for a testimony built around a single question: what is a life for once the search is over? For the speaker, the answer is not a return to some earlier version of herself. It is a set of daily obligations, a house full of children, and a discipline of reading and praying together that she describes not as heroism but as obedience.

The title, "Each One Reach One," points to the same logic. A testimony is a way of reaching one person. Her story reaches the congregation, the children who pray at night, and anyone in the room who has ever felt that the search for love was pointed at the wrong places.

Where to go from here

If this testimony has you thinking about your own version of the turning point, start with the passages the speaker names: the verse she found framed at home and the verse in the prayer room, both about doing all things through Christ. Read them in their full context rather than as slogans. If you are working through addiction in your own household or family, consider looking for a faith community or recovery support near you, the kind of place where people will stay around after the crisis, as this congregation did for these children. And if you want to hear the recording in full, the video is posted by First Baptist Church of London under the title "Each One Reach One" from April 2020. Listen for the rhythm of the family's nightly prayers, the pauses where the speaker lets a number or a name land, and the moment she describes the paper that fell into her lap at the pulpit. That detail, more than any sermon line, is the part of the story most worth carrying with you.

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Transcript

[0:00] [Music]

[0:03] so I have Joshua who's 17 Marissa she's

[0:07] going to be 16 in July

[0:09] Mason has just turned 13 in February

[0:12] alex is just turned 12 about a week ago

[0:14] and Erica is 8 years old the kids just

[0:17] they came here and everybody just loved

[0:20] them and they just kept coming and this

[0:22] church has like really been involved in

[0:23] their life their entire life before you

[0:27] know I was even around that's for sure

[0:30] [Music]

[0:31] I've been an active addiction for about

[0:34] 10 years so of course you know I was

[0:36] just always my life just trying to seek

[0:38] to find something to feel inside here

[0:40] you know since I was a kid you know just

[0:42] always searching and trying to find that

[0:43] love and of course I searched in all the

[0:46] wrong places I found you know try to

[0:47] find it men and I'm just different

[0:49] people are just always trying to just

[0:51] you know make me feel better you know so

[0:54] the worst of it though was about the

[0:56] summer of 2018 so that may you know

[1:00] social services had got involved we all

[1:02] lived with Joanne and and think I hit so

[1:06] emotional I'm so grateful for her she

[1:09] was she was there when I wasn't you know

[1:11] and she's wonderful

[1:15] it's just crazy because you would think

[1:17] like having so many kids and stuff that

[1:19] you would feel that but when you're lost

[1:21] in addiction it's not a real love you

[1:23] know you can't even love yourself let

[1:26] alone five little kids you know you just

[1:27] can't so summer of 2018 I overdosed 13

[1:31] times I was trying to die just because I

[1:35] don't have no help I thought last

[1:39] overdose and I looked up and Joann had

[1:42] brought the kids to see me just the

[1:43] three of them now but I remember in that

[1:46] moment like

[1:47] even in my craziness I was like pen you

[1:50] know they're broken just like I was you

[1:52] know and like everything that I feared

[1:55] I'm doing to them so after they had left

[1:57] it was just me and this nurse you know

[2:00] she's so wonderful her name's Lisa and

[2:02] she came in every morning she took care

[2:05] of me and she said I can do all things

[2:07] through Christ which strengtheneth it it

[2:09] you know I was like lady's crazy you

[2:11] know but it did something to me inside

[2:14] you know it really did and so I said to

[2:16] Laura it was just me and God there you

[2:18] know and I was like god you're gonna

[2:20] have to help me

[2:21] cuz I can't you know I don't even know

[2:23] what to pray you know I said but son has

[2:26] got to be how to be something more you

[2:28] know this cannot be it you know so about

[2:32] a week after this I got arrested and

[2:34] it's just cried I never thought I'd say

[2:36] it but man saved my life and it saved my

[2:39] soul and I remember one of the cops

[2:43] arrested me for the first time in my

[2:45] life I was free I was truly free like

[2:48] there was no more no more chasing no

[2:51] more fear none of that it was over when

[2:55] the judge gave me my 365 day sentence

[2:57] you know it's crazy but I was happy you

[3:01] know I was for the first time I had joy

[3:03] in me you know I went back to my cell

[3:05] and you know when the girl says you know

[3:07] for you getting here you sure are happy

[3:08] I said I am I said because it's over

[3:11] and I started to change you know inside

[3:14] I started to randomly you know and I

[3:17] wasn't chasing seeking at this point but

[3:19] I knew I was different I knew I was free

[3:22] you know so I started to randomly pray

[3:24] for people I wouldn't normally pray for

[3:26] you now I'm thought this is crazy this

[3:28] right here is crazy you know and then I

[3:31] then I start my prayers just started

[3:34] getting a little bit bigger and although

[3:35] I'm like lord I need to be in a

[3:36] different place surrounded by people who

[3:38] want to serve you and I'm not thinking a

[3:40] rehab or nothing like that I'm taking

[3:42] another jail cell you know maybe a

[3:44] smaller one or something you know maybe

[3:46] around people who wanted to change you

[3:48] know that's what I really thought a

[3:49] couple weeks after that is when you know

[3:52] they told me they said you know pack

[3:54] your stuff you're going home you know

[3:56] and I'm like oh no you know I got fear

[3:58] in me of course and his at that point

[4:01] it's free will so when I got down to the

[4:03] booking with the chair they said you're

[4:04] going to Hope City so I get to Hope City

[4:07] and I'm telling the staff there you're

[4:09] gonna take me back to jail I cannot do

[4:10] this this is crazy like I can't face me

[4:13] I can't face all the hurt that I've done

[4:15] to my kids I can't face my family I came

[4:17] face-to myself and they're like you're

[4:19] gonna do this we're not taking you back

[4:21] to jail there is something more for you

[4:23] God has a plan for your life and yet

[4:25] you're just not doing it you know you're

[4:27] gonna do this you can do this so I got

[4:29] up to the prayer room and I'm fighting

[4:32] it and I'm rolling my eyes I'm sliding

[4:34] up and down and the pews and I'm just

[4:36] you know but I couldn't move

[4:38] you know I'm looking back I know that

[4:40] was Lord keeping me still so I go up to

[4:42] the pulpit and I grab a white Bible and

[4:44] in my lap fell a handwritten scripture

[4:47] on a piece of paper about like this long

[4:49] I'm having a frame in my house that says

[4:51] I can do all things through Christ what

[4:52] started me hell I was my first real God

[4:55] moment you know and I was like that was

[4:58] the Lord and he spoke to me through that

[5:00] is so dear to me you know like so that's

[5:06] like hey Lord I surrender you know I

[5:09] remember I cried out to you Lord changed

[5:11] this

[5:12] and that nurse you know I believe that

[5:15] man she loved the Lord you know that's

[5:17] what we're called to do is to tell the

[5:19] goodness of God and who he is and that

[5:22] his love covers a multitude of sins so I

[5:26] surrendered and man I really dove into

[5:29] my Bible you know and I really took

[5:31] refuge in the Lord just wanted more of

[5:33] him because the more I have him the more

[5:35] that emptiness inside was filled it was

[5:38] gone

[5:39] I no longer ate for love because when

[5:42] Christ meets you where you're at he

[5:44] brings love I'm trusting everything's

[5:47] gonna be okay you know so I was trying

[5:48] to in that moment like not doubt and not

[5:51] fear which was super hard you know tears

[5:53] just start rolling and I remember saying

[5:54] in that moment I said I said though Lord

[5:57] though you slay me you get I'll still

[5:58] serve you it's not gonna change my faith

[6:01] it's not gonna make me leave host City

[6:03] you know help me be okay you know help

[6:06] me accept that this is your will for

[6:07] somebody else you know for that you're

[6:10] gonna use this to your glory so the

[6:12] judge is like this is how we're gonna

[6:14] settle this he goes mr. Roberts you get

[6:16] out go live with your mom work the case

[6:18] plan he said all five kids to Hope City

[6:20] with mom July the first I was like it

[6:24] was a holy the Lord I'm telling you

[6:26] because when I went in there my

[6:27] recommendation was some supervised

[6:29] visits that was the best shot at being a

[6:32] mommy to them kids you know and I just

[6:35] so immediately in the courtroom I

[6:37] dropped to my knees I throw my arms in

[6:39] the air and I'm praising God right there

[6:41] because man I knew it was only by His

[6:43] grace and mercy you know so it's been

[6:46] almost a year

[6:46] they'll come to live with me in July the

[6:48] first now may I tell you what we're

[6:52] called it is women we are called you

[6:54] know to disciple our children that is

[6:55] our ministry as women we are to teach

[6:57] them about Jesus and the true love of

[7:00] God and and to make them good godly

[7:03] young men and women and raise them in

[7:05] the Lord you know that's what we are

[7:08] called to do so every night because

[7:10] God's given me this wonderful

[7:11] opportunity and every night we read the

[7:14] word together chapter by chapter and

[7:17] we pray together every night that is the

[7:19] thing that we do my kids know and we do

[7:21] grateful every single night Mason so

[7:24] everybody thinks he's gonna be a

[7:26] preacher I believe that you know and

[7:28] every night he'll say I'm so grateful

[7:30] Lord for your grace and mercy and he

[7:32] says Laura thank you for letting me see

[7:34] my mom and dad be drug addicts he goes

[7:36] because I know who you are you know and

[7:38] then Alex will say because Lord let this

[7:41] be a short life so I can see your face

[7:43] you know an Erica cause at the land of

[7:45] milk and honey and I don't think she

[7:46] even knows what that means but I know

[7:48] what that means you know and her her

[7:50] prayers and she's just growing in the

[7:52] Lord and Joshua he's playing the guitar

[7:54] and he's singing unto the Lord you know

[7:56] and Marissa she seems like and they're

[7:59] joyful you know and I look back on every

[8:02] bit of this and it's all because God

[8:04] loves he loves so much that he just

[8:07] wants us to love you know those are the

[8:09] two greatest Commandments love the Lord

[8:11] thy God with all your mind heart and

[8:12] soul and then you love your neighbor as

[8:14] yourself

[8:15] His grace and mercy never ceases you

[8:17] know and if there's breath in your lungs

[8:18] there's hope and the help is in Jesus

[8:20] you know it really truly is and I'm so

[8:23] grateful for it

[8:24] [Music]

Sarah Laing
ArtistSarah Laing

New Zealand author and cartoonist

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Preguntas Frecuentes

It is a April 2020 recording from First Baptist Church of London in which a mother describes roughly ten years of addiction, thirteen overdoses in one summer, an arrest, and a surrender at a faith-based residential program called Hope City. She then describes her life afterward, raising five children with nightly Bible reading and prayer.
The speaker describes a hospital room where a nurse named Lisa cared for her and quoted Philippians 4:13, followed by an arrest that she experienced as freedom. The decisive moment came in the prayer room at Hope City, where a handwritten scripture fell into her lap while she was at the pulpit.
In the recording, surrender is not the removal of fear or doubt. The speaker describes praying, "Though you slay me, I'll still serve you," and asking God to help her accept his will even while she was still afraid.
The speaker says she had asked for supervised visits, but the judge instead ruled that she should live with her mother, work a case plan, and bring all five children to Hope City on July 1. She describes dropping to her knees in the courtroom in gratitude.
The speaker says women are called to disciple their children and that this is her ministry. In practice she describes reading the Word together chapter by chapter every night and praying together, with each child offering a prayer.
The speaker quotes her son Mason thanking God for letting him see his parents be drug addicts, because it showed him who God is. The prayer reframes the family's hardship inside an account of God's faithfulness rather than erasing it.

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