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Inspiration

Chanting as a Path to Seeing Yourself Clearly

Krishna Das
Krishna Das
Nov 13, 2026
9 min de lectura

De Krishna Das Music

Ver · 6

Krishna Das sits down after a long session of kirtan—the chanting of devotional names—his voice hoarse from singing, and tells the room something that cuts against almost every spiritual shortcut we've been sold. Chanting doesn't work because it makes you feel good. It doesn't work because you're trying hard enough, or visualizing the right thing, or summoning the right experience. It works, he says, because paying attention to what you're actually doing—really attending to it—is almost impossibly difficult. And that difficulty is the whole point.

This is the spine of his 2023 workshop in New York: an invitation to stop manipulating your inner world and start watching it. Most of us spend our entire lives with our attention scattered across the external world and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Those stories—the programs installed in us as children—run unchallenged from birth until death. We get born, we go to school, we live through our scripts, and we die, Das says. That's the default. But here, in this room, people have gathered to do something else: to interrupt that trance.

Leer · 7 secciones

The Real Work Beneath the Singing

Das begins by explaining what happens when attention shifts during chanting. Slowly, little by little, the mind's grip on the external world—the supposed external world, he notes with a smile—loosens. What we call "the world" is actually a construction made mostly of thought and habit. Most of us never notice that. But when you chant, something changes. The constant dialogue in the head, the running commentary about what's happening and what it means, begins to fade.

The problem, Das suggests, is that we believe our mental stories absolutely. We wake up depressed and we accept it as truth. We believe we're not good enough, or we're failing, or we're not advanced enough on the spiritual path—and we don't question it. These beliefs settle so deep that we mistake them for reality. The entire architecture of self-doubt and limitation becomes invisible. We stop seeing it as a construction at all.

This is why forcing an experience during practice doesn't work. You can't trick yourself into genuine transformation. You can sit down to meditate or chant with a demand—I will feel loved today, I will have a breakthrough—and that very expectation becomes the wall you can't get through. Your job, Das says, isn't to have any particular experience at all. Your job is to pay attention. To watch what's actually happening inside, without the overlay of what you think should be happening.

Why He Needed to Sing with People

Das tells a story about his own turning point. He realized that if he didn't sing with people—if he didn't practice in community—he would never be able to clean out the dark shadows in his own heart. The shadows were pushing him around like an invisible force. He couldn't see them, but they ran his life. And the only path out, for him, was to start chanting with others.

This insight runs counter to the isolated spirituality so common in the West: the idea that meditation or practice is something you do alone, in silence, at dawn. Das needed the heat of other people, the vibrational resonance of voices singing together, to loosen the knots that his mind couldn't untangle by itself. It had to be communal. It had to be alive.

He mentions reading something from Tokco Sherto, a Tibetan lama from Canada, who had spent decades doing practices devoted to Tara—the goddess whose quality is compassion and the liberation of all beings from suffering. Yet after all those years, Sherto confessed that he still couldn't quite believe that Tara actually loved him. Das doesn't dismiss this confession. Instead, he uses it to point to the real obstacle: we might read about Krishna, or Rama, or Hanuman, or Tara, but these aren't real to us. They're mythology, stories from another culture. What we have to discover first is who we are. That's the entry point. That's what we have.

Stories That Live Longer Than Bodies

Das weaves in a story from 1989, when he was at the Kumbh Mela in Allahabad, India—a gathering so vast it became the world's largest city for two weeks, with roughly 30 million people. He was living in a small tent with a yogi who claimed to be 163 years old. Das doesn't ask anyone to believe this; he simply states it as fact, with the matter-of-factness of someone who lived in a different India than tourists typically see. The yogi spoke of going to visit his elder guru brother, who was over 250 years old and had been living in the same area of Uttar Pradesh for centuries, known to everyone, a secret that was somehow no secret at all.

Two and a half years later, back in America, Das saw the National Inquirer in a supermarket checkout, and on the front page was a photograph of the older baba—the ancient guru. The yogi had told him the man had decided to leave his body because Krishna had asked him to come play in Brindavan. He was ready. Das's point isn't to argue for the literal truth of extreme longevity, but to suggest that spiritual India operates in a different dimension altogether—one where the sacred isn't something you find in a book or a retreat center, but a living presence that can choose when to stay and when to go. That world still exists, he says. It's not easy to find, but it's still there.

The Role of Expectations in Practice

Back to the practical teaching: Das circles repeatedly to the problem of expectations. When we sit down to practice—whether it's chanting, meditation, or any kind of spiritual work—we carry invisible demands. We want to feel better. We want to have a glimpse of something divine. We want proof that we're advancing. All of these expectations create a subtle resistance, a kind of internal argument with what's actually happening.

Someone in the workshop mentions that they've been meditating for three years but still feel like they're not making progress. Das's response is direct: That's good. It means you're paying attention. The fact that you notice the feeling of not progressing, that you're aware of the resistance and dissatisfaction, means you're already watching the mind. You're already out of the trance, at least partially. Most people never even notice that the disappointment is there.

This reframes the entire spiritual path. It's not about accumulating experiences or moving from level to level. It's about loosening your identification with the habitual patterns—the ways you've learned to think about yourself—until you can see them as patterns rather than as truth. We believe these patterns so deeply and so unquestioningly that they become invisible. The first step is just noticing them. The second step is not falling asleep again.

What Happens When You Stop Performing Yourself

Das speaks about the relief that comes when you finally give up the performance. He mentions a time when Ramdas—his guru, Ram Dass—gave him a book to read. Das had been on the path for years, doing practices, studying texts, trying to become a better version of himself. At some point, the trying wore him down so completely that he stopped. He gave into it. And in that surrender, something shifted. Not because he had an amazing experience, but because he stopped measuring himself against an imaginary standard of spiritual progress.

This is where the teaching touches the real nerve of practice. Everyone comes to this work carrying wounds, doubts, and deep patterns of self-rejection. The path isn't about transcending those or replacing them with something better. It's about seeing them clearly enough that they lose their absolute power over you. When you stop believing that your thoughts are commands, when you see that the voice telling you that you're not good enough or not advanced enough is just a thought—just a sound in the mind—the grip loosens.

The Guru Principle and Self-Knowledge

Das touches on the traditional teaching that you can't advance on the spiritual path without a guru—a teacher. But he suggests that the guru isn't always a person. Sometimes the guru is the truth that meets you where you are. Sometimes it's the practice itself, the chanting, the sitting with others in silence. Sometimes it's the moment when you finally see that you can't do this alone, and you stop trying to.

He mentions different kinds of relationships and different approaches. What matters isn't the form—whether you have a human teacher, or whether you're reading the teachings and allowing them to guide you—but whether something in you has cracked open enough to receive help. Most people spend their whole lives in what Das calls the "dark side" of existence, what's referred to in Hindu cosmology as the Kali Yuga, the age of darkness. But even in that darkness, the possibility of waking up remains. Even now, even here, in the midst of confusion, the work is available.

Where to Go from Here

Das's workshops aren't about leaving with answers. They're about leaving with sharper questions. Who am I when I'm not performing the role I've learned? What would happen if I paid attention to what I'm doing right now, without judgment, without demand? What's underneath the thought that tells me I'm not enough?

If you're curious about chanting practice, Krishna Das's online resources and upcoming events are listed at krishnadas.com. The Heart Space Digital Library offers recordings, webinars, and other materials. His reading list at krishnadas.com/kds-library points to texts he frequently returns to in his teaching. You can also follow along through his newsletter, social media, or by simply showing up in a room with other people and singing devotional names, allowing the practice to show you what needs to be seen.

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Transcript

[0:11] We're all trying to stand up.

[0:44] It's a little bit easier.

[1:04] Where am I?

[1:33] Okay, I got it.

[2:07] getting out of the floor.

[2:08] >> Oh yeah.

[2:23] How are you doing?

[3:00] Where is it?

[3:20] I hate you guys.

[3:28] Wait,

[3:37] you're changing.

[3:51] [music]

[3:53] Let's

[3:59] see what [music]

[4:07] [music]

[4:15] you

[4:20] [music]

[4:26] >> [music]

[4:34] [music]

[4:42] [music]

[4:49] [music]

[4:54] >> Krishna

[4:58] Krishna

[5:01] Christy.

[5:10] [music]

[5:15] >> [music]

[5:20] [music]

[5:28] >> I

[5:30] Christian.

[5:32] I

[5:34] curs

[5:39] Christmas. [music]

[5:47] [music]

[5:52] [music]

[5:59] >> [music]

[6:04] [singing]

[6:05] >> Christian. [music]

[6:16] [music]

[6:19] I

[6:22] [music]

[6:24] might

[6:26] [music]

[6:32] [music]

[6:47] >> [music]

[6:53] >> I

[6:57] >> [music]

[6:57] >> I

[7:00] want

[7:02] you to [music]

[7:08] [music]

[7:16] [singing]

[7:16] [music] Christian.

[7:19] I

[7:21] Christmas. [music]

[7:27] >> [music]

[7:28] >> I

[7:34] [music]

[7:37] might [singing]

[7:43] [music]

[7:52] Christian

[7:55] I [singing] prison. [music]

[8:04] I

[8:11] [music]

[8:13] Hallelujah.

[8:15] [music]

[8:22] I [music]

[8:26] might

[8:30] I

[8:32] cence

[8:39] I [singing]

[8:43] [music]

[8:44] Hallelujah.

[8:48] [music]

[8:54] [music]

[9:02] [music]

[9:06] I

[9:08] Christmas

[9:10] [music]

[9:12] Christmas

[9:15] [singing and music]

[9:17] I

[9:19] [music]

[9:24] might. [music]

[9:31] [music]

[9:36] [music]

[9:38] [singing]

[9:41] [music]

[9:51] [music]

[9:55] >> [music]

[9:57] >> I want

[10:05] [music and singing]

[10:08] I

[10:15] [music]

[10:19] present.

[10:23] >> [music]

[10:26] >> I

[10:28] [singing and music]

[10:30] might

[10:37] [music]

[10:42] [music]

[10:47] [music]

[10:52] I

[10:55] love [music]

[11:01] I [singing]

[11:07] [music]

[11:08] might

[11:11] [music]

[11:12] [singing]

[11:17] [music]

[11:23] I

[11:25] [singing]

[11:26] [music]

[11:28] I

[11:32] love

[11:38] I

[11:45] might [music]

[11:54] >> [music]

[11:59] [music]

[12:02] >> might [singing]

[12:03] Christmas. [music]

[12:05] Christ

[12:09] might [music]

[12:16] [music]

[12:16] [singing]

[12:20] [music]

[12:23] >> [singing]

[12:23] >> I

[12:25] [music]

[12:28] [singing]

[12:30] I am

[12:34] [singing and music]

[12:37] I

[12:41] [music] am

[12:45] I am [music]

[12:48] [singing]

[12:51] I am

[12:57] [music]

[12:58] I am

[13:06] I [singing]

[13:08] am

[13:09] [music]

[13:14] [music]

[13:16] >> [singing]

[13:21] [music]

[13:23] >> I

[13:28] [music] know.

[13:32] [music] Heat. Heat.

[13:39] [music]

[13:47] >> [music]

[13:50] >> I [singing]

[13:52] [music]

[13:53] I

[14:00] [singing]

[14:04] [music]

[14:11] >> [music and singing]

[14:17] >> I [music]

[14:22] love

[14:27] I [singing]

[14:29] am. [music]

[14:34] [music]

[14:46] Krishna [music]

[14:47] mighty. [singing]

[14:51] [music]

[14:55] [singing and music]

[15:01] >> [music]

[15:05] [singing]

[15:07] [music]

[15:11] >> I

[15:14] might

[15:17] prison.

[15:19] [music]

[15:21] [singing]

[15:26] [music]

[15:29] >> [singing]

[15:33] [music]

[15:38] [music and singing]

[15:39] >> Krishna

[15:41] might

[15:48] [singing]

[15:49] I

[15:51] Yeah. [music]

[15:56] [music]

[16:02] >> [music]

[16:04] >> I

[16:07] I

[16:09] [music]

[16:14] [music]

[16:15] am

[16:20] I am [music]

[16:24] [singing]

[16:30] I

[16:34] might

[16:37] [music]

[16:42] Hey, [music]

[16:47] [music]

[16:55] [music]

[16:57] I

[16:59] [music]

[17:01] [singing] am

[17:04] [music]

[17:07] [singing]

[17:09] Hey, [music]

[17:13] I

[17:17] [music]

[17:18] [singing]

[17:21] >> [music]

[17:25] >> Irish.

[17:30] Irish.

[17:34] Krishna.

[17:36] Krishna. [singing]

[17:48] >> [music]

[17:53] [music]

[17:54] [singing]

[18:01] [music]

[18:33] >> Now

[18:45] that be time for the band.

[18:50] So [clears throat]

[18:53] at the very least

[18:56] which is not little

[18:59] when we chant

[19:01] our attention is slowly little by little

[19:04] pulled away from the outside world and

[19:07] our thoughts. Shami you want your

[19:08] blanket use.

[19:27] Because most of the time, most of our

[19:29] life is spent

[19:31] with our attention lost in outside

[19:34] stuff,

[19:35] the external world, the supposed

[19:38] external world.

[19:40] Whether there is one or not, that's a

[19:42] whole other story. It looks like there

[19:45] is.

[19:52] And those thoughts and stories that we

[19:54] tell ourselves all lifelong, the stuff

[19:57] we believe about ourselves,

[20:00] it pretty much goes unchallenged our

[20:02] whole lives.

[20:07] The programs that were

[20:10] put into us as young kids just keep

[20:13] going on.

[20:16] And if we don't do something to change

[20:18] that,

[20:22] we don't do something to change that.

[20:27] We get born,

[20:30] go to high school,

[20:32] drink some beer,

[20:34] and die.

[20:37] That's it. And that's what it's like for

[20:39] most people in this world,

[20:42] unfortunately.

[20:43] Either

[20:45] they're born in places where there is no

[20:48] dharma, no spiritual stuff,

[20:51] or they're born in situation where they

[20:53] don't have time or

[20:56] safety to practice.

[20:59] But here we are,

[21:01] and we don't even know how we got here,

[21:03] but here we are

[21:06] trying to do something to help

[21:08] ourselves.

[21:13] I thought of a little story while we

[21:14] were singing. You know when I in 1989

[21:18] I was in Ilahabad in India

[21:21] uh at a place called the Pra

[21:24] where uh there was a kumba mea

[21:28] a kumba mea is uh every year there's a

[21:32] mea mea means a festival

[21:36] and every 3 years there's a quarter mea

[21:39] every six years there's a half me every

[21:41] 12 years there's a full mea

[21:45] It's a 12-ear cycle of astrological

[21:48] stuff. Shut up.

[21:51] Nothing. Just talking to a friend.

[21:56] Um, so this one was the 12th 12th. These

[22:01] stars, this this astrological thing

[22:03] hadn't been in that position for 144

[22:05] years. So this was big time.

[22:09] There were like maybe 30 million people.

[22:12] became the biggest city in India for

[22:14] about two weeks. Goes on for a month but

[22:18] two main weeks.

[22:20] So I was living in in a camp a little

[22:23] camp tents

[22:26] with a with a a yogi who was 163 years

[22:29] old.

[22:32] Uh really he was. You don't believe me?

[22:37] He was. I remember once he looked at us

[22:39] and said, "You're from America, huh? You

[22:42] remember when Lincoln was shot?"

[22:46] Oh, no. Yeah, we we read about it in the

[22:48] papers. He said,

[22:50] "And the guy had been living in the same

[22:52] area. Everybody knew him. He was 163."

[22:56] And one day he said he was going to

[22:59] visit his elder guru brother who was 250

[23:05] something years old and his name was

[23:08] Deorra Babala. It's a Deorra is a county

[23:11] in Uttar Pradesh and this Baba had been

[23:15] living there for hundreds of years. He

[23:19] was your grandfather's grandfather's

[23:20] grandfather's grandfather's

[23:21] grandfather's grandfather's guru.

[23:23] Everybody knew him. It was no mystery.

[23:26] And the funny thing is after

[23:28] [clears throat] two and a half years I

[23:29] came back to the states and uh I went to

[23:31] my mother's house and the morning I woke

[23:33] up and I went to the&mp to get some

[23:36] Cheerios.

[23:38] Maybe it was wedies at that time.

[23:42] And as I'm checking out, I look over the

[23:45] National Inquirer was in the rack, you

[23:47] know, and on the front page it said

[23:50] world's oldest man and a picture of this

[23:52] baba.

[23:54] Really? I went

[23:59] so the younger Baba the 163 year old guy

[24:03] goes to visit the older guy

[24:06] and he comes back and he said oh we had

[24:08] a nice time he told me that Sri Krishna

[24:11] came to him and asked him to come play

[24:13] with him in Bindaval so he's going to go

[24:17] couple of weeks later he left the

[24:26] Krishna came and asked him to come play.

[24:28] So he said okay and he left the body and

[24:31] went to bring up the play.

[24:36] India is another world

[24:39] and it still exists. The spiritual India

[24:41] is still there. It's not easy to find

[24:45] but it's still there.

[24:49] So, I just read this thing that a friend

[24:51] of mine wrote. Uh, his name is Tokco

[24:53] Sherto. He's a Tibetan lama, a

[24:58] a Canadian Tibetan llama.

[25:02] And he said, you know, he'd been doing

[25:03] these practices for so many years to

[25:06] Tara, the goddess Tara.

[25:09] And

[25:11] the quality of Tara is that she she

[25:13] loves everyone. She's here to save

[25:15] everyone from suffering.

[25:18] He said, "But I've been doing these

[25:19] practices,

[25:20] but it's been so hard for me to actually

[25:22] believe that Tara loves me."

[25:28] So, I just started thinking about that.

[25:41] I don't know. Most of us we don't

[25:43] believe there's a Krishna or a Rama

[25:46] or Hanuman or Shiva Khali. We read about

[25:51] that stuff

[25:53] but it's just stuff for us.

[25:56] What we don't know and what we have to

[25:58] know is who the we are.

[26:01] That's the first thing.

[26:04] That's what we have. When we look in the

[26:06] mirror, there's a whole story line that

[26:09] we see.

[26:12] Inside that story line is who we are.

[26:17] [clears throat]

[26:18] So, it doesn't really work for us to try

[26:20] to manipulate ourselves into one kind of

[26:22] experience or not. When we're

[26:24] practicing, when we're singing or

[26:26] meditating,

[26:28] that's not your job. Your job is to pay

[26:31] attention to what you're doing,

[26:34] not to try to have some kind of

[26:36] experience,

[26:38] not to all of a sudden manipulate to

[26:40] trick yourself into feeling good or

[26:42] feeling loved or feeling all that.

[26:46] That's not the way it works. All we have

[26:49] to do is pay attention to what we're

[26:52] doing,

[26:53] which is very hard. And you don't notice

[26:57] that until you try to do it.

[27:07] and the expectations we have about what

[27:10] we're doing. Like when we sit down to

[27:12] meditate or chant or something, that's

[27:14] that's what stops us from really

[27:17] getting it together. It never feels I've

[27:21] been meditating for three years. I still

[27:22] feel like

[27:25] That's good. It means you're paying

[27:27] attention.

[27:42] Somehow we have to loosen up this

[27:45] these habitual identifications that we

[27:48] have with our stuff.

[27:53] The problem is we it's we believe it all

[27:56] so deeply and so

[28:00] Unquestioningly,

[28:01] we wake up and you don't feel good and

[28:03] I'm depressed today.

[28:05] And we really believe that we feel bad.

[28:10] And we believe that

[28:14] when I started chanting with people, it

[28:16] was because I had this

[28:18] [clears throat] epiphany

[28:20] that if I did not sing with people, I

[28:23] would never be able to

[28:27] clean out the dark shadows in my own

[28:29] heart.

[28:32] And the the understanding was this stuff

[28:34] was pushing me around like a shadow. You

[28:36] can't see it.

[28:40] But the only way to do that for me was

[28:41] to start chanting

[28:47] and it had to be with people.

[28:52] So here we are.

[28:57] >> [clears throat and cough]

[29:08] >> I mean, do you really want to spend the

[29:09] rest of your life

[29:11] up?

[29:15] Really,

[29:18] you can if you want to. I mean, nobody's

[29:20] going to stop you.

[29:23] But why?

[29:27] Part of the reason why is we don't

[29:28] really believe there's anything we can

[29:30] really do about it.

[29:33] That's that's the unfortunate reality

[29:36] because nobody in my life growing up

[29:38] ever did anything about them their their

[29:40] states of mind,

[29:43] right?

[29:45] So where was that understanding going to

[29:47] come from

[29:50] or where does it come from for us, you

[29:52] know?

[29:53] It doesn't come easy

[29:56] because it's so sticky in there. It's

[29:58] scary, too. Who wants to deal with their

[30:01] stuff?

[30:03] Nobody.

[30:08] [clears throat]

[30:10] This is fun.

[30:13] It gets you all so depressed you run out

[30:15] of here screaming. There won't be

[30:16] anybody here tonight.

[30:20] I can go home and watch TV.

[30:29] Maharaji said through the repetition of

[30:32] the name which is the chanting we do

[30:34] name the names of what they call God in

[30:37] India there's a million names for God

[30:39] you walk down the street there's Shri

[30:41] Bhagavan insurance company

[30:44] Durga travels you know Saraswati

[30:48] cleaning service you know everywhere you

[30:50] go there's

[30:55] Through the repetition of the name,

[30:57] everything is accomplished

[31:03] and he knows what everything is.

[31:06] And that's what he said.

[31:10] So,

[31:11] wow.

[31:13] That's like, you know,

[31:15] the Good Housekeeping seal of approval.

[31:19] This stuff works. He says it does. He

[31:22] says everything will be accomplished

[31:24] through the repetition of these names.

[31:27] Do you believe it? No. Do I believe it?

[31:33] If I really believed it, I'd just be

[31:35] sitting at home going.

[31:38] I wouldn't even eat.

[31:40] Certainly wouldn't be watching TV.

[31:44] To the extent we believe that our

[31:47] actions can have a good effect on our

[31:49] lives, that's how much we'll make an

[31:51] effort. But we hardly believe it. And so

[31:54] we hardly make an effort.

[31:57] We meditate for five minutes a day, 10

[31:59] minutes a day, every other week,

[32:02] and we think we're really a yogi. Yeah.

[32:05] We do a couple of asas, and you think

[32:07] you're a king of yogis.

[32:12] But to change the way we go through our

[32:14] lives is a really big thing.

[32:17] And

[32:18] like I told you, I had that epiphany

[32:22] that the only way for me to change

[32:27] my inner reality would be to chant with

[32:31] people.

[32:38] It took me a while to get with the

[32:39] program.

[32:42] I called dharmas first but they didn't

[32:44] want me to come.

[32:46] Eva said well I'll talk to Dharma next.

[32:49] So I called Jiva Mukti and they said

[32:52] yeah come on down.

[32:54] Come on Monday. Okay. So I went on

[32:56] Monday. There were 10 people there. They

[32:58] had the teacher trainee every Monday.

[33:01] David and Sharon. They would read do

[33:03] some readings and take Q&A.

[33:08] I was singing for about 15 20 minutes.

[33:11] That went on for a few months and then I

[33:14] showed up and they weren't there. They

[33:16] went to India and they were gone like

[33:19] three months.

[33:21] So I sang for like three hours.

[33:25] Then after three months I came and their

[33:28] pillows were there. They showed up. Oh,

[33:30] hi. How you doing? Yeah, good. Okay. So

[33:32] I started singing. An hour later I went,

[33:34] "Oh they're here.

[33:38] And I looked over and I went like and

[33:41] they just went.

[33:43] So Mondays became my night.

[33:46] They stopped coming. [laughter]

[33:50] They stayed home and watched TV.

[33:54] And it just happened. Just happened.

[33:57] There was no agenda.

[34:02] [clears throat]

[34:04] Doing practice is like planting seeds.

[34:07] Every repetition of the name is a seed.

[34:10] Every time the mind comes back or your

[34:12] awareness comes back from dreamland,

[34:15] that's a seed, too.

[34:18] If we plant seeds, those seeds will

[34:20] grow. If we don't plant them, then

[34:23] nothing's going to grow. Unfortunately,

[34:25] it's very simple. It's not easy, but

[34:29] it's simple.

[34:37] You know, we're used to like 15,000

[34:39] channels on television,

[34:42] but sitting down

[34:44] and trying to pay attention, it's not

[34:46] easy.

[35:16] Each one of us has to find out what

[35:17] works for us.

[35:19] Really nobody can tell you.

[35:22] Maharaji never told me to to go forth

[35:25] and multiply.

[35:29] He never told me to go chant with

[35:30] people.

[35:32] I I wanted to do that. We had chanted

[35:35] with him, to him, for him.

[35:39] But life got in the way, and I never did

[35:42] it.

[35:44] And it wasn't until like 21 years after

[35:46] he died that I started singing with

[35:48] people.

[35:51] Stubborn.

[35:53] I was so angry and hurt, pissed off that

[35:56] he left me. I wouldn't do anything.

[36:02] I had to get over that.

[36:06] So, but he left it to me to find out

[36:08] what I wanted to do.

[36:14] Last time I saw him so far,

[36:19] I was trying I I was going to leave that

[36:21] day for for Delhi to get on a plane back

[36:24] to America after two and a half years in

[36:27] India walking around barefoot in a red

[36:29] dress.

[36:31] I this is not going to work in New York.

[36:34] What'll I do in America? Well, maybe I

[36:36] should ask him. No, don't you ask him

[36:38] what's wrong with you. You should have

[36:39] faith. Faith in my ass. I'm going back

[36:41] to America.

[36:43] So, I'm sitting there right in front of

[36:44] him arguing with myself, right?

[36:47] But finally, I blurted out, "Baba, how

[36:51] can I serve you in America?"

[36:54] He looked like he bit a pickle.

[36:58] He said, "Asky about service. It's not

[37:00] service. Just do what you want."

[37:05] Now I had been celibate for two and a

[37:08] half years

[37:11] during prime time ages of 23 to 26.

[37:16] I knew what I wanted to do and he knew

[37:19] what I wanted to do. That was the thing.

[37:23] So I just went

[37:25] my mind literally stopped and he

[37:29] laughed. He said, "Ah, so how are you

[37:31] served me? [laughter]

[37:37] Living with somebody who knows

[37:39] everything about you, you know, every

[37:41] little thing, every thought is just a

[37:44] trip.

[37:48] [clears throat]

[37:52] So then I had to go. He said, "Just do

[37:55] what you want." Then it was time for me

[37:57] to go. So I bowed down. And I walked

[37:59] across the courtyard

[38:02] and I I did a dundapernam fool down on

[38:06] the ground. And as I was there on the

[38:09] ground there, I heard

[38:12] my voice in my mind, but it wasn't me

[38:17] talking and said, "I'll sing to you in

[38:20] America."

[38:22] Oh, okay.

[38:25] And I got up and left.

[38:28] But it took me 21 years to start singing

[38:32] with people.

[38:34] So when I tell you when I say to you you

[38:38] got to plant some seeds, I know how hard

[38:40] it is to overcome

[38:46] to overcome the delusion and and and the

[38:49] the the

[38:51] inertia of of the mind and the emotions

[38:55] engaged

[38:57] all lifelong with this stuff. It's

[39:00] really hard.

[39:03] really hard.

[39:05] We have so many reasons why we don't pay

[39:07] attention, why we don't do what's in our

[39:09] own best interests.

[39:15] What are you going to do?

[39:18] It's up to you.

[39:22] Okay, let's change the channel

[39:25] before everybody commits suicide.

[39:35] So, we have a a microphone. We'll take

[39:39] some questions.

[39:42] I'll ask the questions. [laughter]

[39:48] Okay.

[39:50] If you want to say something, just raise

[39:51] your hand.

[40:00] >> Hi.

[40:01] >> Hi. Can you hear me?

[40:02] >> I can.

[40:03] >> Okay.

[40:04] >> Hold on one second. Kev, can you put me

[40:05] in here in this mic?

[40:08] >> Go ahead.

[40:09] >> So, my name's Ra Ali and I came up to

[40:12] you at um the Ramdas retreat.

[40:14] >> Okay.

[40:15] >> And um we were [clears throat]

[40:16] discussing the names of God and um I

[40:20] grew up Orthodox,

[40:22] Jewish Orthodox.

[40:23] >> Jewish or there's a lot of different

[40:24] Orthodox. Thank you.

[40:26] >> Yes. Yes. That one.

[40:27] >> Yeah. And um I've been doing the Hanuman

[40:31] Shalisa.

[40:32] >> That's a good Jewish prayer.

[40:33] >> It's a good one.

[40:35] So then I was home on Roshashana at my

[40:38] parents and suddenly like I couldn't do

[40:40] it. The names of um of Ram and Haniman

[40:46] and all of that. I felt this resistance

[40:49] >> and I'm just curious if you have any

[40:50] thoughts because I do believe it is all

[40:52] one. We're talking about that book with

[40:54] the ball stem toe.

[40:56] >> Um, but yeah, if you have any thoughts

[40:58] for me on that

[41:00] >> thoughts, let me think about that.

[41:04] >> Yeah, I remember one time I was doing a

[41:06] retreat and a woman raised her hand

[41:08] said, "I was at a Jewish retreat last

[41:10] weekend and they say you can't say the

[41:12] name of God." And I said, "You're right.

[41:15] We're just lying."

[41:17] [laughter]

[41:18] And Maharaj used to say go on sing your

[41:20] lying fake Ram Ram. One of these days

[41:23] you'll really call out and the real

[41:25] Quran will come

[41:29] whatever that is. It's beyond

[41:31] conceptions, thoughts, names, labels.

[41:36] Reality is beyond all that. So the true

[41:39] name of God can never be spoken.

[41:43] On the other hand,

[41:48] because we live in the world of thought

[41:50] and emotions and words and concepts,

[41:54] what we try to do is gather ourselves up

[41:57] and eventually offer ourselves to that

[42:00] place within us that is real love. And

[42:04] we use these names

[42:07] as uh a method to do that for ourselves

[42:12] to accomplish that.

[42:15] But the names themselves

[42:18] are the

[42:21] you know uh St. John the cross wrote

[42:23] that in the beginning the father uttered

[42:25] one word.

[42:27] That word is his son and he utters him

[42:31] forever in everlasting silence.

[42:36] Silence

[42:38] is not just the not the absence of

[42:41] sound. It's the ab it's the absence of

[42:43] stuff

[42:45] of of

[42:47] concepts.

[42:49] So silence is reality but it's beyond

[42:53] words.

[42:55] The only way for us to recognize that is

[42:57] to see it ourselves within

[43:02] these names. They say these names are

[43:05] the the sound form

[43:08] of what's beyond form.

[43:12] Maharaji used to say you you can get to

[43:14] the formless through the only way to he

[43:17] used to say the only way to get to the

[43:18] formless is through the form because we

[43:21] identify with form with our own form

[43:24] with the body thoughts the emotions we

[43:27] identify with that. So inside of that

[43:30] delusion

[43:33] these other

[43:35] this method of chanting the names

[43:39] I mean if you chant Frank all day long

[43:43] you'll get a headache people named Frank

[43:46] will start knocking on your door

[43:48] you know you'll wake up in in bed

[43:51] instead of your husband there'll be a

[43:53] Frank [laughter]

[43:54] it's dangerous you know this stuff works

[43:57] so it's better seeing the names of

[43:59] what's real and all these other names

[44:02] that we're chanting are the names of

[44:05] this place within us that is beyond

[44:07] form.

[44:11] It's hard to talk about things beyond

[44:12] form because we don't know. What was I

[44:15] just reading something?

[44:23] A brain is a terrible thing to lose.

[44:27] But anyhow um

[44:31] yeah we we're in form. We live in form.

[44:33] Everything our thoughts our emotions our

[44:36] feelings it's all form.

[44:39] So but inside of that form that it's

[44:42] like clouds in the sky. The sky is vast.

[44:47] The space is vast and endless and it

[44:50] envelops everything. It includes

[44:52] everything within it. So all these

[44:55] concepts, all these forms actually are

[44:59] held in this vast presence, this vast

[45:02] being, this vast silence.

[45:06] But to get to the silence, we have to

[45:08] use techniques in form.

[45:15] So that's what the names are about. And

[45:18] like I said when you say because if you

[45:22] if you were 100% there and you said the

[45:25] ram you would have that experience of

[45:27] what really ram is

[45:31] and like Kabir the poet says my ram is

[45:33] not that that prince you know my ram is

[45:37] is reality the inner dwell the

[45:39] indwelling presence in everyone reality.

[45:43] So yeah, you know, it's just um

[45:48] I was just at the wailing wall like a

[45:51] month ago, two months ago. It was uh

[45:56] intense.

[45:58] I sang a chalisa,

[46:00] >> banging my head against the wall like

[46:02] everybody else. My god, this is so

[46:04] horrible.

[46:05] [laughter]

[46:13] But um

[46:17] yeah, so you know you but all that being

[46:20] said, you you have to honor your own

[46:23] feelings. What feels right to you is

[46:26] what you should follow, what you could

[46:28] listen to. I don't want to say should

[46:30] but could.

[46:32] Because if you don't follow your own

[46:33] heart, then what? Right? So don't don't

[46:37] doubt that.

[46:38] That would be my what I would you know

[46:41] you should

[46:43] you could examine your feelings. Well,

[46:45] why do I feel this way? Is this really

[46:47] me or is it my programming that's making

[46:49] it uncomfortable? You know, so whatever

[46:52] it is, you should go with it. You could

[46:54] go with it. See? Shh.

[46:58] Because if you don't if the whole path

[47:00] is learning how to trust yourself. The

[47:02] whole path is nothing but learning how

[47:06] to trust oneself

[47:10] because that's where it is

[47:12] always.

[47:27] Kev, I can't hear me in here. A little

[47:28] louder.

[47:31] >> Hi.

[47:32] >> Hi.

[47:33] >> So, I've recently uh been blessed to

[47:37] have Kran enter my life in the last like

[47:40] probably 18 months, so like year and a

[47:42] half. And um

[47:45] coming from like a music background,

[47:48] I've like invested in a harmonium and I

[47:51] sing and chant in my home and I like

[47:53] sing my heart out. And then whenever I

[47:57] get into a group of people and am

[48:00] chanting the same chants that I've

[48:02] practiced at home or have developed at

[48:04] home, it sort of flips from being a

[48:08] genuine expression of love for divinity

[48:11] into

[48:13] almost like a leadership role, I guess.

[48:15] And so I guess I'm wondering if you have

[48:18] any perspective or advice on how to keep

[48:20] the main thing the main thing in a group

[48:23] when you're leading a chant or a melody,

[48:26] you know, cuz for me it sort of flips

[48:28] into this almost performance instead of

[48:31] a community expression of love for

[48:34] divinity. So I'd love your perspective

[48:36] on that if you have any to offer. Well,

[48:39] first of all, don't quit your day job.

[48:41] [laughter]

[48:44] And it's good that you see that. That's

[48:46] very that's it's useful that you see

[48:48] that. Um,

[48:51] but you you only had two options. You

[48:54] gave me two options. Neither one is good

[48:56] enough.

[48:59] If this isn't your spiritual practice,

[49:02] you're doing it wrong.

[49:05] So, and spiritual practice you say

[49:09] chanting to divinity and all this. I

[49:11] mean, I don't even know what that means.

[49:14] Do you?

[49:16] Right. So, just chant and pay attention

[49:20] and when you're gone, come back. Think

[49:24] focus on the sound of what you're

[49:26] singing. All this other stuff's going to

[49:28] come and go. Sometimes you'll feel good.

[49:30] Sometimes you'll feel bad. Sometimes

[49:32] this will happen. Sometimes that'll

[49:34] happen. What won't change is the sound

[49:35] of the name. That'll always be there for

[49:38] you to come back to. And that's the

[49:41] deal. So ultimately it should be no

[49:43] different at home or in a group. But

[49:49] you're seeing your stuff. So that's

[49:51] good. Just keep letting go and be

[49:56] sincere and open and honest. And don't

[49:59] try to fool anybody

[50:01] because you're only fooling yourself.

[50:12] When we started singing, when Maharaji

[50:14] would ask us to sing, we would just

[50:16] stand there and go

[50:19] very Ramdas like

[50:26] >> [laughter]

[50:28] >> So one day one of the guys in who

[50:31] hanging out with us

[50:33] [clears throat]

[50:34] knew the the Harri Krishna guys they got

[50:37] they came to Bindaban for the first time

[50:39] in 1971 maybe they were there before but

[50:42] they started coming in numbers and one

[50:44] group came from Hawaii.

[50:47] So this guy was from Hawaii and he knew

[50:49] the leader of this group so he invited

[50:51] them to come to this to the temple to

[50:53] sing. So like 20 they they all came and

[50:56] they had their drums and their bangers

[50:58] and their clangers and they were dancing

[51:00] and everything. Maharaji loved it. He

[51:03] looks over me and goes Hari Krishna ma

[51:06] mantra like it was a big secret you

[51:07] know.

[51:10] So then they left he reaches in his doti

[51:13] you know and he pulls out a 50 rupee

[51:15] note and he gives it to me. He said go

[51:17] buy a drum

[51:19] from that 50 rupees.

[51:22] Here we are.

[51:28] So

[51:34] you know uh [clears throat]

[51:37] there was a great saint in the 1800s

[51:40] named Sri Ramak Krishna

[51:43] and uh

[51:46] he he he talked about the way chanting

[51:49] works. So he said every repetition of

[51:53] the name is a seed. Okay?

[51:58] Just like a seed, a little tiny seed

[52:01] could have a huge tree inside it. Right?

[52:04] These seeds of the name have even a

[52:06] greater potential. They have reality

[52:09] inside, real love inside, truth.

[52:13] And he said, "So you you're chanting

[52:15] these names and the seeds

[52:17] [clears throat] of the name get caught

[52:18] by the wind and blown around and some of

[52:23] the seeds get land on the roof of an old

[52:26] house in the middle of the jungle

[52:30] and they get stuck between the tiles on

[52:32] the roof of the house. Okay? The seeds

[52:36] of the repetition of the name get stuck

[52:38] between the tiles on the roof of this

[52:40] house. And over time and seasons and

[52:44] wind and rain and whatever sun, the

[52:46] tiles start to break down and get soft.

[52:51] At that point, the seeds start to

[52:55] take root. They start to grow and the

[52:59] seeds of the roots grow and they grow

[53:01] and they grow

[53:05] and they destroy the roof of the house

[53:08] and they keep growing and they destroy

[53:10] the walls of the house.

[53:13] Ramach Krishna said the house is who we

[53:16] think we are.

[53:19] Our version of ourselves, our so-called

[53:22] egos, who we think we are. That's the

[53:25] house which is destroyed

[53:28] by the repetition of the name.

[53:31] And you know what he doesn't talk about?

[53:33] He doesn't talk about how it feels when

[53:36] you're planting the seeds. Why? Because

[53:39] it's irrelevant.

[53:41] People ask me, "What do you feel when

[53:43] you uh when you chant?" I say, "How do I

[53:46] know?"

[53:48] If I if I think some if there's a

[53:51] thought comes through, I just let it go.

[53:53] I don't write it down.

[53:56] I come back to the sound of the name.

[53:58] But the thing is this house with the

[54:02] walls and the roof.

[54:05] Then there's an inside and an outside,

[54:07] right? Which is all the little houses in

[54:10] the room here.

[54:12] Every one of these houses in the room

[54:13] has an inside and outside. That's the

[54:16] rest of us. My outside is all of you.

[54:19] Your outside is everybody else.

[54:22] The repetition of the name dissolves

[54:25] those walls and then there's open space.

[54:29] Nothing is lost. Everything is gained.

[54:33] The whole universe.

[54:36] You recognize yourself as the whole

[54:38] universe. Not just that what was in that

[54:40] little house.

[54:47] So you sing, you do your practice and

[54:49] you live your life.

[54:52] That's it.

[54:54] And you try to treat people the way you

[54:56] would like to be treated.

[54:58] More than that, it's not necessary.

[55:03] That's enough of a job.

[55:06] I mean, think of how you go through the

[55:08] day. How many people do you treat the

[55:10] way you would like to be treated?

[55:14] No. We label everything and everyone.

[55:17] This one's good. This one's bad. This

[55:19] one's a friend. This one's an enemy.

[55:21] This one's bigger, smaller. This one's

[55:23] higher on the chain of command at work.

[55:27] Everything's labeled. Everything so we

[55:29] can navigate our egoistic way through

[55:32] that through our lives.

[55:34] And we never notice it because

[55:36] everybody's doing it.

[55:39] So

[55:41] a little bit of practice and a lot of

[55:44] caring for other people and oneself and

[55:48] a lot of good things can happen.

[55:50] Okay.

[55:53] >> Ram same to you.

[55:57] >> Uh in covid I talked to you and uh I

[56:02] meditating. I live in you know and I I

[56:05] was meditating

[56:07] and u I found myself standing in the

[56:10] Hanuman temple in India daily I don't

[56:14] know you remember or not so

[56:19] then I I thought what I'm doing in

[56:22] Hanuman temple so I had dashan gi my dad

[56:25] was devotey of hanuman gi then when I

[56:28] talked to you and I found about you

[56:32] you told me read Ramcharit Manas

[56:36] and miracle of love and I'm reading

[56:39] Ramcharit Manas last year I did now I'm

[56:42] reading I'm crying a lot

[56:45] because I didn't know my is the is God's

[56:49] dity is Ram

[56:51] >> the what what was that

[56:53] >> the you know the dity some of the you

[56:56] know the the family by family come you

[56:58] know in India

[57:00] >> like my grandparents

[57:03] because I was devotey of the dura the

[57:06] way I you know the raise in my you know

[57:09] have some of the your personal favorite

[57:11] god in India right.

[57:12] >> Mhm. So because I have dash of dura as

[57:16] well I have so much spiritual you know

[57:18] experience through but when you told me

[57:21] read Ramchit manas it totally changed my

[57:24] life and uh

[57:27] now and every day you know because when

[57:30] I'm crying a lot when I read that uh

[57:32] Ramcharitud manas so they say in India

[57:36] and some of the guru are are here only

[57:39] your guru can uh take you to your dity

[57:43] the viga. So through you I met Ram and

[57:48] Dah Maharaji you know Hanumanji is a

[57:50] leela you can say you know so I will be

[57:53] thankful rest of my life to you and

[57:56] Ramdas and the journey how I come from

[58:01] India and end up here in New York and uh

[58:05] doing kiran and my wife was worried

[58:08] because what's going on what's going on

[58:10] you know and what happened see I bring

[58:14] my father-in-law here to [laughter] do

[58:17] some kitan here. You know,

[58:19] >> he'll keep you straight.

[58:21] >> Yeah. So, thank you so much. You know,

[58:24] he's a blessing and uh and Maraji too.

[58:29] He gave me dan and my wife came last

[58:32] last year too. Me and my wife and he

[58:35] said she said who who's sitting behind

[58:38] there? I said nobody's sitting there.

[58:40] She has a dion as well. So

[58:43] >> we really bless and I'm so emotional

[58:46] right now.

[58:47] >> So thank you.

[58:48] >> Thank you.

[58:49] >> And uh as a guru I I really

[58:53] >> Dan Pam. Thank you.

[58:55] >> Yeah. Thank you.

[58:57] >> Yeah. Ram Cho Manas is a wonderful book.

[59:00] Ramdas gave me his copy to read

[59:03] before I went to India when I first met

[59:05] him. It's so beautiful. You know,

[59:10] westerners, we're only programmed for

[59:12] one kind of love,

[59:15] emotional love. There's other kinds of

[59:18] love. And this book, which is the story

[59:21] of Brahma told in a very devotional way,

[59:26] very open, loving way. It's

[59:27] extraordinary. It really reprograms your

[59:31] your heart and opens us to a a different

[59:35] way of loving, a different kind of love.

[59:38] It's very amazing.

[59:41] Yeah. Really beautiful book.

[59:46] Ram chit manas. The the manuslike lake.

[59:50] The mindlike lake of the stories of Ram.

[59:53] And every chapter is a descent deeper

[59:55] into the lake. It's very beautiful.

[59:59] Very beautiful. Tulsias wrote that. He's

[1:00:02] the one who wrote the hanaman chalisa

[1:00:04] also.

[1:00:11] Yeah. Who has the mic? Okay. You got to

[1:00:15] give a five.

[1:00:16] >> I have Hello. I have the mic.

[1:00:18] >> Hold on one second. Roll off some more

[1:00:21] lows if you can. It's a little bit

[1:00:24] difficult to hear. Okay. Yeah. Hey, my

[1:00:29] name is Koko and my question is when I'm

[1:00:34] chanting I'm usually mumbling and I

[1:00:37] hardly know what the hell I'm saying but

[1:00:39] I put a lot of love behind it.

[1:00:41] >> So if I'm never know exactly what I'm

[1:00:44] saying, how do I keep going forward? Cuz

[1:00:47] I do love it. I pretty much chant every

[1:00:49] day to you in my car, you know, driving

[1:00:52] around. So,

[1:00:53] >> but a lot of time I feel like I'm faking

[1:00:55] the funk.

[1:00:56] >> That's called a thought. Yeah.

[1:00:58] [laughter]

[1:00:59] >> So, but I'm a big time mumbo.

[1:01:01] >> Yeah. Let it go. I don't know what these

[1:01:02] names mean.

[1:01:04] >> Great answer, brother.

[1:01:05] >> Yeah. [laughter]

[1:01:07] >> The real the real meaning of these names

[1:01:09] is your own true nature, you know. Yeah.

[1:01:12] There's a story line with all the names.

[1:01:14] They all come from out of these the

[1:01:17] stories from India. Most of these names

[1:01:19] that we say, but um that's not the real

[1:01:23] meaning. The real meaning is your own

[1:01:27] soul, your own heart. And if you're

[1:01:30] feeling love, that's good. That's a nice

[1:01:32] feeling to have. Just keep chanting. You

[1:01:36] know, you want to spend the next 30

[1:01:38] years studying about what Ram means, you

[1:01:40] can do that, too. Then next life you can

[1:01:43] start chanting again.

[1:01:47] But it's up to you.

[1:01:49] And when you think, what am I doing? I

[1:01:51] don't know what I'm that's called a

[1:01:52] thought. You let go and you come back to

[1:01:54] the sound of the name. That's the only

[1:01:56] thing. The name itself will will reveal

[1:02:00] much to you what's inside of us. We

[1:02:04] don't have to create it. All we have to

[1:02:06] do is pay attention. And as we pay

[1:02:09] attention and get closer to the sound

[1:02:12] and the feeling of the sound, things

[1:02:15] start to happen inside. You don't have

[1:02:18] to, nobody needs to tell you

[1:02:20] You'll find from inside what the truth

[1:02:22] is.

[1:02:25] But don't you're feeling good right now.

[1:02:26] Don't stop if you all of a sudden you

[1:02:28] don't feel good. You got to keep going.

[1:02:31] You have to get through that. Right now

[1:02:34] you might be in a nice little uh what do

[1:02:36] they call it? A

[1:02:38] in the desert where there's a

[1:02:42] >> what?

[1:02:44] >> Oasis. Oh yeah. That's a rock group.

[1:02:46] Yeah. Yeah. You know, but then there

[1:02:49] might be some desert between now and the

[1:02:51] next oasis. So, but if you don't keep

[1:02:53] chanting, you just get stuck in the

[1:02:55] desert. So, you keep going. You can

[1:02:57] always let go.

[1:03:00] That's the amazing thing. Whatever it

[1:03:02] is, you can let go.

[1:03:05] But you have to remember, oh, I can let

[1:03:07] go and come back. But we get so stuck in

[1:03:10] stuff. We believe it. like you're

[1:03:13] practicing and then something happens in

[1:03:15] your life that's very difficult and then

[1:03:17] you just stop practicing and you get

[1:03:19] stuck in that stuff for x amount of time

[1:03:23] and then it passes and you remember oh

[1:03:25] wait a minute I used to do this and you

[1:03:28] start again but you could have kept

[1:03:30] going all through that but it's our

[1:03:33] expectations we're so if we don't feel

[1:03:35] what I want to feel then I'm not going

[1:03:37] to do this well good luck you know So

[1:03:42] you just keep going. Always let go. But

[1:03:45] it's not easy. We're not trained to let

[1:03:47] go. We're trained not to

[1:03:51] know.

[1:03:57] Okay.

[1:04:00] Jes Krishna Das, it's so great to be

[1:04:04] here with you. Uh a little bit about me.

[1:04:07] I grew up in a household where we

[1:04:11] worshiped Lord Ram Hanuman. So grew up

[1:04:15] in a household with Bhajan and Kiran. Uh

[1:04:18] and it came from my grandmom. And today

[1:04:21] I'm here to celebrate her birthday as

[1:04:23] well with you. Her birthday was on

[1:04:25] October 2nd and you're here. So what

[1:04:28] other good way to celebrate her

[1:04:30] birthday?

[1:04:31] >> Yeah.

[1:04:31] >> Um Yeah. in I I came to USA 7 years ago

[1:04:37] and you know my grandmom she did not

[1:04:39] want me to come all this way and uh the

[1:04:43] last time I saw her she was like crying

[1:04:47] and asking me hey don't leave me don't

[1:04:49] leave me and we shared a very very

[1:04:52] beautiful relationship when you describe

[1:04:54] of your relationship with Maharaj gi I'm

[1:04:57] just reminded of my relationship with my

[1:05:00] grandma so yeah I I mean uh she told me

[1:05:04] don't don't leave me and then I came to

[1:05:06] USA. I'm like no granny I have to go I

[1:05:09] have this you know there's so many

[1:05:11] things I want to do and I thought I

[1:05:12] would be coming here

[1:05:14] >> and uh you know time just years flew by

[1:05:19] one year two year three year just used

[1:05:21] to talk to her over the phone and then

[1:05:23] eventually she lost this ability of like

[1:05:26] recognizing me listening to me over the

[1:05:28] phone I was watching I was with her

[1:05:30] through the video calls every day and

[1:05:33] then yeah I mean you know I thought I

[1:05:35] would be able to go back to meet her.

[1:05:38] And then years flew by. One day all of a

[1:05:40] sudden I was woken up in the middle of

[1:05:42] night with the news that she's not with

[1:05:45] us anymore.

[1:05:46] And the other beautiful like you know

[1:05:49] the other thing which happened was that

[1:05:50] the day I lost her just one night prior

[1:05:53] to that I had this dream where I saw my

[1:05:57] grandmom on her deathbed and she had

[1:06:01] this photo. She had held this photo in

[1:06:03] her hand and she was saying that Maraji

[1:06:06] is here to come take me. Maraji is here

[1:06:08] to come take me.

[1:06:10] >> And I was just like woken up and I knew

[1:06:14] that you know my grandmom is not well. I

[1:06:16] just could not comprehend what was

[1:06:18] happening at that time and I had this

[1:06:20] very bad feeling that I'm going to lose

[1:06:22] her. And just the next day uh you know

[1:06:26] after 12 14 hours I got this news. I was

[1:06:29] woken up in the middle of the night with

[1:06:31] the news that she has left us. So yeah,

[1:06:34] I mean you know you helped me to get

[1:06:37] through the pain of losing her but at

[1:06:40] the same time like you know I'm just

[1:06:42] kind of very curious about this

[1:06:43] experience you know coming here finding

[1:06:46] you being reminded of BI and how can I

[1:06:52] just like you know uh keep following it.

[1:06:58] You can sit.

[1:07:01] That's how

[1:07:04] you just have to live your life. All the

[1:07:06] seeds are in there. You just have to

[1:07:08] follow your heart.

[1:07:10] There's no

[1:07:13] there's nothing to join. There's no

[1:07:15] rules and regulations.

[1:07:18] Just be you. Find out what that is.

[1:07:21] That's the best thing. The only thing it

[1:07:25] sounds like your grandmother very

[1:07:26] beautiful and that love will always be

[1:07:29] with you. The love never goes away.

[1:07:33] Bodies come and go. That's what they do.

[1:07:36] But love never goes.

[1:07:46] We can miss the bodies and we do for a

[1:07:49] while, but the love is really what's

[1:07:52] always here.

[1:07:54] It's okay to miss bodies. That's what

[1:07:57] they're for, to be missed.

[1:08:02] Yeah,

[1:08:10] you don't have to. I

[1:08:13] Hi,

[1:08:14] >> thank you for the opportunity. I have a

[1:08:16] my question is about your book.

[1:08:20] >> First I

[1:08:21] >> the Bible.

[1:08:25] >> Oh

[1:08:27] >> yeah. No, that's okay. I I know what

[1:08:29] book. Yeah. Which one is that? Wait. No.

[1:08:31] No. That's not my book.

[1:08:33] >> Yes.

[1:08:33] >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's in what?

[1:08:35] Spanish or Portuguese?

[1:08:36] >> Portuguese.

[1:08:37] >> Ah, but

[1:08:39] Portuguese. Yes. Very good.

[1:08:43] My question is about

[1:08:46] in your book you explain your

[1:08:51] love with your guru. Okay.

[1:08:55] And

[1:08:57] I don't understood

[1:09:00] who teach you be a musician.

[1:09:05] Um

[1:09:07] I saw the I I read the book. I

[1:09:10] understand my but

[1:09:14] you stud musician

[1:09:16] where

[1:09:19] um I love first about your music

[1:09:23] musician.

[1:09:24] >> Mhm.

[1:09:25] >> And the book you don't tell where the

[1:09:29] musician

[1:09:31] your musician is so complex who teach

[1:09:34] you this?

[1:09:38] who teach taught me what uh

[1:09:41] >> be a good musician.

[1:09:42] >> I I don't know if I am a good musician.

[1:09:44] >> No, you are.

[1:09:45] >> Oh, thank you.

[1:09:49] >> Now I know.

[1:09:50] >> No, about this. Use the drums. Use the

[1:09:52] guitar. Bass. Who?

[1:09:57] >> I mean, I've always loved music. Uh

[1:10:01] I took trumpet lessons when I was a kid.

[1:10:05] [laughter]

[1:10:06] I took piano lessons for a few months

[1:10:10] and other than that I just listened to

[1:10:11] music and played I taught myself guitar

[1:10:15] you know I don't know you just absorbed

[1:10:18] it nobody taught me I mean

[1:10:23] you know like when we were asked to come

[1:10:25] to the Grammys

[1:10:27] >> Yes. and we were asked to perform at the

[1:10:31] the smaller Grammys thing which was folk

[1:10:35] music, jazz, blues, world music. It

[1:10:38] wasn't the pop music thing. So

[1:10:42] they set us up on this rolling cart,

[1:10:47] right, off stage and every we were all

[1:10:52] sitting, me, Nina, Steve, who was Mark

[1:10:55] was there, right? uh Arjun I think was

[1:10:58] there. So they set us up on this

[1:11:02] platform

[1:11:04] with the with the speakers, the monitors

[1:11:06] and everything, you know, mixer

[1:11:09] and then we were the first performers

[1:11:12] for this. So they open it and the guy

[1:11:15] intro says hello and then and they roll

[1:11:17] us out on stage [laughter]

[1:11:21] and I looked in the front row and Herby

[1:11:26] Hancock, Pat Matheni, Chick Korea

[1:11:31] and me and my little squeeze box.

[1:11:35] I thought am I really going to squeeze

[1:11:37] this little thing in front of those

[1:11:38] people? [laughter]

[1:11:41] I

[1:11:43] w

[1:11:45] but once I sing everything was okay. So

[1:11:48] but it was a funny moment [laughter]

[1:11:52] and I never prayed so hard

[1:11:57] as I prayed later that day to lose

[1:12:02] not to be not to win the award because

[1:12:05] you had to go up and make a speech in

[1:12:08] front of these people. What was I going

[1:12:10] to say? you know, uh, I learned how to

[1:12:13] squeeze this thing in India and now I do

[1:12:16] it in America. Thank you.

[1:12:20] Anyway,

[1:12:23] uh,

[1:12:26] music is very good.

[1:12:29] It pacifies the beast,

[1:12:33] but it's not enough to free you from

[1:12:35] suffering.

[1:12:37] The name is the medicine. The music is

[1:12:41] the sweet syrup that the medicine is

[1:12:43] hidden in. So we're very spoiled little

[1:12:47] babies. We don't want to take the

[1:12:48] medicine. So with the sweet syrup, we

[1:12:50] take it. And that's what it's for.

[1:12:57] Thank you.

[1:13:03] Mike's over there. Yeah, you have to

[1:13:04] talk to him.

[1:13:07] Yeah, namaskar. Namaskar.

[1:13:10] Um,

[1:13:11] >> how important is to have a guru in your

[1:13:14] life in order to get to the next level?

[1:13:17] Um, because I'm very skeptical. So, I

[1:13:20] also read a lot or watch a lot and what

[1:13:24] I've learned is detachment is the key

[1:13:26] thing. So,

[1:13:27] >> what does that mean to you? means no you

[1:13:29] don't really depend on anything in

[1:13:33] people, family, life, money, anything.

[1:13:36] So

[1:13:36] >> that's absolutely wrong. 100% wrong.

[1:13:39] >> Yeah. Yes. So of course I'm wrong.

[1:13:41] That's why I'm here.

[1:13:42] >> Well,

[1:13:43] another

[1:13:44] >> Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[1:13:47] [clears throat]

[1:13:47] >> I'm not sure what that mean. No.

[1:13:49] >> So the point is

[1:13:50] >> Yeah.

[1:13:51] >> The being having a guru and then being

[1:13:54] attached to that form, right? Either

[1:13:57] >> that's also a problem. Yeah,

[1:13:58] >> that's a problem. So, how do we kind of

[1:14:01] is it really important to have guru or

[1:14:04] just the chanting and then maybe doing

[1:14:07] what you said four things you know

[1:14:09] >> treating people with love and doing

[1:14:10] whatever you have to do is all really

[1:14:13] can help you uh grow.

[1:14:16] >> Thank you.

[1:14:16] >> You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you. Well,

[1:14:18] first of all, detachment is love.

[1:14:22] Love for everyone equally. That's

[1:14:25] detachment. Attachment makes one person

[1:14:28] closer, another person further away,

[1:14:31] makes some foods more pleasant, some

[1:14:34] things unpleasant. That's attachment

[1:14:36] likes. And the in in the third patriarch

[1:14:40] of Zen Buddhism said, "The great way is

[1:14:43] not difficult for those with no

[1:14:45] preferences."

[1:14:48] So that disqualifies all of us.

[1:14:52] So, but don't think about detachment as

[1:14:55] something cold and that all of a sudden

[1:14:57] you can't care about people and you

[1:15:00] you're the people you you love you don't

[1:15:02] love them anymore and this is wrong.

[1:15:05] Detachment means loving all everyone

[1:15:09] including yourself.

[1:15:11] Okay. When you look in the mirror, you

[1:15:13] don't doubt that you see you right?

[1:15:16] Yeah. You're looking at your guru

[1:15:20] because

[1:15:23] Oh, thought it was a bird.

[1:15:26] You never know.

[1:15:28] Um or a monkey.

[1:15:32] Uh

[1:15:33] yeah.

[1:15:36] Uh guru is ultimately important. Yes.

[1:15:38] Nobody can make any contact any you

[1:15:41] can't advance on the path without guru.

[1:15:44] But guru doesn't mean physical body.

[1:15:47] absolutely does not mean that

[1:15:50] if you if any of us have any desire or

[1:15:53] any longing or any capacity for this for

[1:15:58] spiritual practice or this kind of we

[1:16:01] already have a guru but the guru is

[1:16:03] inside

[1:16:04] guru god and self are not different

[1:16:08] the body that I got attached to that

[1:16:10] wasn't the guru that was the body of the

[1:16:12] guru it's like when when You drive a car

[1:16:16] and it breaks down, you don't cry. You

[1:16:19] just go get a new car. Well, that's what

[1:16:21] a guru does because guru's never

[1:16:24] identified with the body.

[1:16:27] They know who they are. They know what

[1:16:29] they are.

[1:16:31] And they know that they are one with us

[1:16:35] and they know that they're not the body.

[1:16:37] The body is nothing to them. It's a

[1:16:40] vehicle.

[1:16:42] So you don't sit around and wait for a

[1:16:44] guru because that's you because

[1:16:49] everything you do, every thought we have

[1:16:51] is karma is creating karma. Every

[1:16:54] thought. So if you sit around waiting

[1:16:57] for a guru, you're just waiting and not

[1:16:59] doing anything to help yourself. So

[1:17:03] knowing that the guru lives within

[1:17:06] not just me but everybody or God lives

[1:17:10] within everybody. Then you start

[1:17:12] treating people that way and then you

[1:17:16] see your attachments. You like this one

[1:17:18] better than that one. You treat this one

[1:17:20] differently than that one. Right? All

[1:17:22] kinds of things. So you start working

[1:17:24] with that and you start trying to let go

[1:17:28] of those kind of judgments.

[1:17:31] But it's very hard to let go of thoughts

[1:17:33] unless you have

[1:17:36] something to come back to which is what

[1:17:39] we call a practice. So you either have a

[1:17:42] mantra or of the name or whatever mantra

[1:17:45] or or the breath which is always there.

[1:17:48] You don't have to remember it's always

[1:17:49] there even when you're not paying

[1:17:51] attention. So you can always come back

[1:17:53] to the breath. The idea is to come back

[1:17:55] to you again and again and again and

[1:17:58] again and again and again and again and

[1:18:00] again. And little by little we get more

[1:18:04] comfortable and familiar

[1:18:06] what it means what it feels like to be

[1:18:09] at home in ourselves just to be here. It

[1:18:12] expands. It deepens. It gets richer. It

[1:18:16] it juicier thing. It changes. It's not

[1:18:19] just like okay I'm here. No I'm not

[1:18:22] here. It's not like that. Here is

[1:18:24] everywhere but we don't know that. So

[1:18:27] here is where the guru is also

[1:18:33] but we don't we we identify with our

[1:18:36] bodies. So we can't imagine what's

[1:18:39] beyond the body. We can't it's not

[1:18:42] possible because that's where thoughts

[1:18:44] don't go.

[1:18:46] So what are you going to do?

[1:18:49] you're just going to sit around and wait

[1:18:50] you to trip and fall into somebody's lap

[1:18:52] and then you're going to call that

[1:18:54] person a guru. No, you have to start

[1:18:56] right now taking care of yourself,

[1:18:58] honoring your your your karmas, who you

[1:19:00] are, where you are, what people you have

[1:19:02] to take care of, what people you you

[1:19:05] need to to cherish and take care of and

[1:19:07] what you need in your life that you

[1:19:09] don't have and what you have that you

[1:19:11] don't need. You just start cleaning up

[1:19:13] cleaning your room like my mother used

[1:19:14] to tell me. I never did it.

[1:19:18] And now I don't do it either.

[1:19:24] But yeah, no, you don't sit around

[1:19:26] waiting for a guru. But on the other

[1:19:28] hand, without guru, we a guru

[1:19:34] keeps transmitting. It's like a homing

[1:19:36] beacon. You know what a homing beacon?

[1:19:38] It's like you you go up this way. Oh no,

[1:19:39] it's here. And you go there, oh no, it's

[1:19:41] this way. It's like that, but it's

[1:19:43] inside.

[1:19:44] You know what you like and what you

[1:19:47] don't like. You know what you want. And

[1:19:50] if you really examine what you want,

[1:19:53] you'll start letting go of the external

[1:19:55] things and recognize what you really

[1:19:58] want

[1:19:59] is what you really want. We don't have

[1:20:01] to name it right now. And that's where

[1:20:04] you find that's where you connect more

[1:20:06] deeply with the inner guru.

[1:20:09] And

[1:20:11] that's the deal, you know.

[1:20:14] Yes, I suffered terribly because I was

[1:20:16] feeling Maharaji everywhere until I met

[1:20:19] him. Once I met him, I got totally

[1:20:24] when I met him. I fell in love with that

[1:20:25] body. But I was already in love with him

[1:20:28] before I met him. I felt him everywhere.

[1:20:30] After I met Ramdas, I felt him

[1:20:31] everywhere. And then I met him

[1:20:34] physically and I was like, "Wait a

[1:20:36] minute. How does all that fit inside

[1:20:38] that little body?" I couldn't figure it

[1:20:41] out. It was like a whoosh, you know. But

[1:20:45] that passed and I fell in love with the

[1:20:47] body and then I suffered when the body

[1:20:49] disappeared.

[1:20:51] But that was my calmness because that's

[1:20:53] my emotional makeup. Other people have

[1:20:56] different relations. One time Ramdas was

[1:20:59] sitting there

[1:21:01] and Maharaji told Dada who was one of

[1:21:05] his great devote he says go tell Ramdas

[1:21:09] he understands me perfectly.

[1:21:11] because Ramdas was sitting towards the

[1:21:13] back and he was thinking I never have to

[1:21:15] see him again.

[1:21:17] That's the thought he was having and of

[1:21:19] course Maharaji knew that and so he had

[1:21:21] that go tell him he understands me

[1:21:24] perfectly.

[1:21:26] So it's like that we have this romantic

[1:21:30] thing we want to find a guru we want to

[1:21:32] fall in love but that's just

[1:21:34] That's us one once again looking for

[1:21:36] something outside of ourselves. Guru is

[1:21:39] not outside. never has been outside,

[1:21:42] couldn't be outside

[1:21:44] within your life, within your heart,

[1:21:47] within your being is guru.

[1:21:51] So

[1:21:54] there's nothing to wait for. Go ahead.

[1:21:58] Right.

[1:22:20] Where's the mic? Anybody?

[1:22:26] >> Hello.

[1:22:26] >> Hi.

[1:22:27] >> I'm Diana.

[1:22:28] >> Hello, Diana.

[1:22:30] >> First, I want to say thank you.

[1:22:33] >> I want to say you're welcome.

[1:22:36] Um,

[1:22:38] and so Spotify did this really fun thing

[1:22:42] last year at the end of the year where

[1:22:44] it gave you all your, you know, your

[1:22:46] most played song and all that stuff and

[1:22:51] you took the big win for 542

[1:22:55] hours of listening to Christian Boss.

[1:22:58] >> You did. You did

[1:23:00] >> last year. Give her a hand. Come on.

[1:23:01] >> 542 hours.

[1:23:05] >> [applause]

[1:23:05] >> I don't even listen to me that much.

[1:23:07] >> Yeah, it's a it's a lot. I I it was a it

[1:23:10] was a tough year. So, every morning I I

[1:23:12] had made a whole playlist of your chance

[1:23:15] and you have talks just like these from

[1:23:18] 2012 2013

[1:23:21] and I would just listen to them every

[1:23:23] morning and listening to all the stories

[1:23:25] over and and every time I mean I heard

[1:23:28] the story so many times.

[1:23:30] >> Well, think about how many times I heard

[1:23:32] [laughter]

[1:23:34] And um so I just you know thank thank

[1:23:37] you for for being who you are and and

[1:23:39] through that time I realized that right

[1:23:42] because you're always you say a lot in

[1:23:44] the talks how it's it's not you you know

[1:23:47] it's not you're not doing anything

[1:23:50] >> don't believe me [laughter]

[1:23:52] >> but you're this conduit right like

[1:23:54] you're the cond and I and I finally

[1:23:56] awoken to the to the awareness of the

[1:23:59] presence of oh it's Maharaji like that's

[1:24:02] what um that's what I'm feeling like

[1:24:04] that's what I'm connecting to by by

[1:24:07] listening to this. So I I came to that

[1:24:10] awareness. So

[1:24:11] >> cool.

[1:24:12] >> Last year I came and I got here late and

[1:24:18] I walked in and you were telling one of

[1:24:20] my favorite stories of this time that

[1:24:23] you were traveling to go and see

[1:24:25] Maharaji. I think it was in Bindavin. I

[1:24:27] think he said something like, "Well,

[1:24:28] I'll see you in Bindavin." And you and

[1:24:31] you get you finally get there. You got

[1:24:33] detourred and then you finally get there

[1:24:35] and you go in and you're like, "Oh, has

[1:24:37] Maz Maharaji been here?" And you're

[1:24:39] like, "No, he hasn't been here in

[1:24:40] months." And it was, "Oh, this is bad."

[1:24:42] >> You're going to tell the whole story.

[1:24:44] >> No. No.

[1:24:45] >> And then you're going to ask me to tell

[1:24:46] the story after you TOLD IT.

[1:24:48] >> NO. NO. IT LEADS it leads to something

[1:24:50] very good. So, you know, then he

[1:24:52] >> surprise me.

[1:24:55] [laughter]

[1:24:57] >> I was there. I was there. But surprising

[1:25:00] >> I know but the story is about how he

[1:25:02] arrives at your most the moment of

[1:25:05] despair right like the timing [laughter]

[1:25:09] >> and how he would do that all the time

[1:25:11] like how it was play all the time you

[1:25:14] know like he would tell Ramdas you know

[1:25:16] like get rid of anger and I'll help you

[1:25:18] but then orchestrate all these things to

[1:25:20] get Ramdas to be angry

[1:25:22] >> yeah it didn't take much

[1:25:25] >> so the next day

[1:25:27] I have you on in the morning again and

[1:25:29] I'm cleaning my apartment and I'm I'm

[1:25:31] going through trying to give up

[1:25:33] >> clean I'm cleaning music now. Okay,

[1:25:35] [laughter] very good. Thank you.

[1:25:37] >> I'm trying to give up sweets, right? I

[1:25:39] have a a thing with cookies and I like

[1:25:42] >> So do I. How are you going to give up

[1:25:43] sweets if I can't give up sweets?

[1:25:45] >> Well, so you're talking about willpower

[1:25:48] in the talk that was on.

[1:25:50] >> Oh, okay.

[1:25:51] >> And I'm like, you know what? And I have

[1:25:53] this cookie and I'm just in my mind the

[1:25:55] whole time I'm cleaning. And I'm like, I

[1:25:57] really want to eat this cookie,

[1:25:59] you know?

[1:26:00] And finally, I give into it. And the

[1:26:04] moment the cookie hits my mouth, you say

[1:26:08] on the the the the talk, "No more

[1:26:12] sugar." At that exact

[1:26:15] moment as I'm about to eat the cookie

[1:26:18] and I look up and I go, "Maharaji,

[1:26:21] I I know that you're here and you're

[1:26:24] playing with me right now. But I'm still

[1:26:26] gonna eat this cookie. [laughter]

[1:26:30] >> Very good.

[1:26:31] >> So, I just wanted to share that because

[1:26:34] I'm so grateful for the stories, right?

[1:26:37] I'm so grateful for the stories and for

[1:26:39] it to

[1:26:40] >> again awaken in me this play, this

[1:26:43] Leela, and that he's always here

[1:26:47] >> orchestrating

[1:26:48] and in those moments. And that was my

[1:26:50] first direct moment of understanding of,

[1:26:53] oh, right, timing.

[1:26:54] >> Cool. So thank you. I just really want

[1:26:56] to share that story with you.

[1:26:58] >> Do you you know that story that she's

[1:27:00] talking about?

[1:27:01] >> Yeah.

[1:27:02] >> I'll tell you. So [laughter]

[1:27:06] we were in Alahabad and uh at Dada's

[1:27:09] house and uh Ramdas had arrived

[1:27:13] recently. U he'd come to Bodgaya first

[1:27:17] and then we went later. He had been on

[1:27:20] tour with Swami Muktananda

[1:27:22] and he had come to India for his second

[1:27:25] visit with Swami Mktanandanda and then

[1:27:28] he came up to find Maharaji.

[1:27:31] While he was with Swami Muktananda

[1:27:35] he was invite had been invited to do

[1:27:37] this pilgrimage with him in South India

[1:27:39] and he agreed to do that.

[1:27:43] So now he he said to Maharaji he said

[1:27:46] you know I I told Swami Muktananda that

[1:27:48] I I would do this pilgrimage with him

[1:27:50] but I really don't want to go. Do I have

[1:27:52] to go? Mahari said you said you would go

[1:27:55] you have to go. So we me and Romesh and

[1:28:01] Dwara and somebody I think just and

[1:28:04] Ramdas we all took off

[1:28:07] and um Maharaj as we leaving Maharaj

[1:28:10] says I'll meet you in Bindavan.

[1:28:12] So we left Alahabad and on the way south

[1:28:16] we stopped in Bindavan but he wasn't

[1:28:18] there. So we continued on to the south

[1:28:22] for about I don't know three weeks maybe

[1:28:25] maybe a month I don't know traveling

[1:28:27] around it was fun

[1:28:29] and um so now we're heading up north

[1:28:33] [clears throat] and we're we decided we

[1:28:36] will go to Bindavin because that's where

[1:28:37] Maharaji said he would meet us. So we

[1:28:40] drive up north and we finally get close

[1:28:43] to Bindavan but it's nighttime

[1:28:46] and so we stayed just outside of town in

[1:28:49] Krishna's birthplace there was a little

[1:28:51] darn salah

[1:28:53] and in the morning we got up and we

[1:28:56] drove to Bindavan on the way to the to

[1:28:59] the temple I was driving [clears throat]

[1:29:03] and I missed the turn it was a right

[1:29:05] turn on the the road that goes around

[1:29:08] Bindavan it's called the party mark it

[1:29:10] that goes around.

[1:29:12] And as a result of missing that turn, we

[1:29:15] got stuck in the bazaar in the morning

[1:29:18] with cows and carts and people and every

[1:29:22] was so crazy a narrow little road like

[1:29:24] this and we like, you know, so it took

[1:29:27] 15 minutes to get back to the spot where

[1:29:32] I missed the turn and then the temple

[1:29:34] was right there.

[1:29:36] So we get to the temple, we go inside

[1:29:39] and we ask the the pujari, you know,

[1:29:41] Maharaji here? No, we haven't heard from

[1:29:45] him in months. We have no idea where he

[1:29:47] is. Oh, really? This was bad news. You

[1:29:51] know, there were no phones, no cell

[1:29:52] phones. There was even the the landlines

[1:29:55] never worked. What? You had telegrams.

[1:29:58] That's how people communicated important

[1:30:00] things. So somebody would know where

[1:30:03] Maharaji is. We'd people and everybody

[1:30:05] would start showing up, you know.

[1:30:09] So, what are we going to do? Well, let's

[1:30:11] go to Delhi. Maybe they know where he is

[1:30:12] there. We'll ask we'll go to this guy's

[1:30:14] house. And so, we go back to the car and

[1:30:17] I was suicidal. I mean, I was like so

[1:30:20] depressed. I just couldn't believe we

[1:30:22] don't know where he is. We'll never find

[1:30:24] him. And I put the key in the ignition

[1:30:26] and I'm just about to turn the key and

[1:30:30] this little Fiat screeches to a halt

[1:30:32] right next to the car.

[1:30:34] And I look and in the passenger seat

[1:30:37] it's Maharaji.

[1:30:39] And he gets he's right here. He gets out

[1:30:41] of the car and he doesn't even look at

[1:30:44] us and he goes right into the temple. He

[1:30:47] didn't even look at us. We're we're just

[1:30:50] like

[1:30:52] [laughter] and he goes into the temple.

[1:30:53] It was a

[1:30:55] So we go in and we had three beautiful

[1:31:00] days with him. It was nobody else was

[1:31:02] there.

[1:31:03] They hadn't found out he was there yet.

[1:31:05] So we had a couple of three days. Really

[1:31:07] great.

[1:31:10] Many years later, like

[1:31:13] 20 years later, I was with this guy, one

[1:31:17] of his great devotees named Gurak

[1:31:19] Sharma.

[1:31:21] And he says to me, "You remember that

[1:31:23] day that the car we arrived with my I

[1:31:26] was also in that car." I said, "Yeah,

[1:31:29] yeah, that's yeah, I forgot." Yeah. He

[1:31:31] said,

[1:31:32] He said, "I'll tell you the story." He

[1:31:35] said, "So the night before they were in

[1:31:37] Kpur or Lucknau, some town that's quite

[1:31:40] far away,

[1:31:41] and all the devotees were asleep in this

[1:31:44] big room, big living room.

[1:31:48] And in the middle of the night, Maharaji

[1:31:51] tiptoed around everybody and he tried to

[1:31:53] wake Gurudat up, but he couldn't wake

[1:31:55] him up. So he picked him up and he threw

[1:31:58] him over his shoulder and he carried him

[1:32:00] out to the car and put him in the back

[1:32:02] of the car and then they took off in the

[1:32:05] middle of the night and Gurud wakes up

[1:32:08] at some point and like what you know

[1:32:10] where am I? So he gurat said Maharaji

[1:32:14] kept telling the driver go faster go

[1:32:16] faster all night long faster faster and

[1:32:19] the guy's driving in night you know the

[1:32:21] roads you can't see there's no lights

[1:32:22] you can't see anything you know faster

[1:32:25] faster just outside of bindam he said

[1:32:28] stop and he pulls over and gurat said I

[1:32:32] thought it was a peace stop but he just

[1:32:35] sat there for 15 minutes

[1:32:39] and then he goes

[1:32:41] Jello. Let's go. Faster, faster. Go like

[1:32:44] this. And he arrived

[1:32:47] just as I'm about to turn the key.

[1:32:52] Now, I don't know

[1:32:56] if

[1:32:57] if that's not enough to crack your mind,

[1:33:01] nothing will ever be enough. So, we

[1:33:03] might as well give up. Good night.

[1:33:05] [laughter]

[1:33:08] I mean, come on. He did that on purpose.

[1:33:12] Okay. So, he did it on purpose. He could

[1:33:16] do anything. But why would he do that?

[1:33:20] Just to kill us.

[1:33:23] We were in our m moment of such despair.

[1:33:26] I can't describe it to you. We've been

[1:33:28] rolling around this, you know, with

[1:33:29] Maktan Nanda and just dreaming of

[1:33:32] getting back to Maharaji

[1:33:34] and then he's not there. We'll never

[1:33:36] find him. He could be anywhere. And

[1:33:38] sometimes he just disappeared for

[1:33:40] months. He go out of the temple said,

[1:33:42] "I'll be back later." Three months

[1:33:43] later, you know.

[1:33:48] So that's the story

[1:33:51] that she's talking about.

[1:33:54] And that was the time that Ramdas took

[1:33:56] that Maharaja took the acid for the

[1:33:58] second time.

[1:34:00] That's a good story,

[1:34:02] but you don't want to hear that.

[1:34:08] Okay, twist my arm. Go ahead. So, we're

[1:34:12] sitting there with Maharaji

[1:34:15] and he looks at Ramdas and he said,

[1:34:17] "When you were in India last time, did

[1:34:19] you give me medicine?"

[1:34:21] Ramdas said, "Yes."

[1:34:24] Did I take it?

[1:34:26] I think so. Now you see the backstory is

[1:34:31] the first time you know Mahamdas met

[1:34:33] Maharaji the second day he asked him for

[1:34:36] the medicine and he took enough acid to

[1:34:38] put a horse on the moon and nothing

[1:34:41] happened. So that was really big for

[1:34:43] Ramdas.

[1:34:46] But when and when he came back to

[1:34:47] America after that he told everybody the

[1:34:50] story and some people would say come on

[1:34:52] he's he scammed you. He threw it over

[1:34:54] his shoulders and nobody could take that

[1:34:56] much. Now Ramdas didn't think so but

[1:35:00] there really was a little bit of doubt

[1:35:03] in his mind. So Maharaji says did I take

[1:35:07] it

[1:35:09] said yes I think so. Oh, got any more?

[1:35:14] Yes, give it to me. So, Ramdas holds out

[1:35:19] four hits of Sandos or acid, the best

[1:35:22] acid you could ever get. Maharaji goes

[1:35:25] like this. He takes a pill. He goes,

[1:35:38] four times.

[1:35:40] And then he sits there for a minute. He

[1:35:41] says, "Can I drink water? Hot water?

[1:35:44] Cold water? Bring me water." So he drank

[1:35:46] some water. Then after a couple of

[1:35:49] minutes, he takes his blanket and he

[1:35:51] pulls it up over his head. And then he

[1:35:54] goes, he opens it up and he goes like,

[1:35:57] [laughter]

[1:35:57] "Like

[1:36:00] this." I have never seen a purple human

[1:36:04] being before. Ramdas actually turned

[1:36:07] purple right next to me.

[1:36:10] And he thought, "Oh my god, he didn't

[1:36:13] take it the first time." He knew he was

[1:36:16] trying to prove he could do it and now

[1:36:18] I've killed my guru, you know. And he

[1:36:20] was like, he totally lost his mind. The

[1:36:22] minute he thought it, my heart, he just

[1:36:23] laughed and said, "Ah, you know,

[1:36:26] this is nothing for a yogi. Poisons

[1:36:29] can't affect him. This used to grow up

[1:36:31] in the Kula Valley, you know." He said,

[1:36:33] "No problem like that." It was just like

[1:36:37] he said yogis would go they would calm

[1:36:40] their minds down and their bodies and

[1:36:43] bring their mind to one point then they

[1:36:45] would take the soma and go through the

[1:36:48] door.

[1:36:51] You see

[1:36:54] if the mind is all over the place and

[1:36:56] you take these chemicals you you just

[1:36:59] like it's like a crapshoot. Anything

[1:37:01] could happen you go everywhere all these

[1:37:03] things. But when your mind is at one

[1:37:04] point,

[1:37:06] to bring the mind to one point is not

[1:37:08] easy.

[1:37:10] You can't just put your mind somewhere

[1:37:12] and it'll stay there. Our own desires,

[1:37:16] the habits of thinking, the way we treat

[1:37:19] ourselves, our storylines, our whole

[1:37:21] lives are in that moment. And if it's

[1:37:23] not harmonized, you can't do it. It

[1:37:26] doesn't happen. And when your whole life

[1:37:29] is in harmony and your energy and prana

[1:37:32] is in harmony and you place your mind

[1:37:34] there and take the soma, you go through

[1:37:37] the door, but it's a very narrow door.

[1:37:42] So essentially, ashtanga yoga is a

[1:37:46] manual for taking the soma.

[1:37:49] That'll get me in a lot of trouble.

[1:37:55] But that's what he said. Yama yama yama

[1:37:58] nyama asana pranayyama pratihara

[1:38:02] whatever it is I don't know all that

[1:38:04] but you bring you calm the body the

[1:38:07] mind the body the breath then you bring

[1:38:09] the mind to one point and then you go

[1:38:12] through the door and you have samati

[1:38:15] and that's all those things

[1:38:20] so

[1:38:22] anybody got any acid

[1:38:27] I think if I took acid now, my arms and

[1:38:29] legs would fall off. I'm just like

[1:38:33] weird. Ramdas was thinking about taking

[1:38:36] a hit. He got out of the hospital. He

[1:38:38] almost died in the hospital. He

[1:38:40] comes home and he said, "I think I'll

[1:38:41] take some mushrooms." What?

[1:38:43] We didn't let him do it.

[1:38:50] And that wasn't that wasn't too long

[1:38:52] before he left.

[1:38:56] He loved the hospital.

[1:38:59] He loved the hospital. He was so happy

[1:39:00] in the hospital. Lying in bed getting

[1:39:03] taken care of. All the nurses and

[1:39:05] doctors were coming to see him. It was

[1:39:07] just great. He was giving darion in the

[1:39:08] hospital bed. So happy. He didn't want

[1:39:12] to leave.

[1:39:21] Hi, Katie.

[1:39:22] >> Where are you?

[1:39:23] >> I'm all the way over here. Nice to see

[1:39:25] you.

[1:39:26] >> Fancy meeting you here. Um,

[1:39:28] >> thanks for waking me up. [laughter]

[1:39:31] >> So, I became a member of the Cure Tempi

[1:39:33] in January, so maybe everybody else

[1:39:35] knows this. It's more of a curiosity

[1:39:37] than a philosophy question. I've noticed

[1:39:40] you put something in your mouth before

[1:39:41] you start singing, and I'd love to know

[1:39:44] what it is.

[1:39:45] >> Yeah. LSD.

[1:39:46] >> [laughter]

[1:39:49] >> I got a bet with my husband here. So,

[1:39:52] >> uhhuh. It's called ricola.

[1:39:54] >> It's good for your throat.

[1:39:56] >> Awesome.

[1:39:57] >> But it'll ratch your teeth. So, brush

[1:39:58] your teeth if you use it.

[1:40:00] >> Cool. Thanks.

[1:40:01] >> Yeah,

[1:40:01] >> now I know. Maybe I should have never

[1:40:03] asked.

[1:40:03] >> Maybe not.

[1:40:10] >> Oh, what a day. [laughter]

[1:40:14] Anybody else?

[1:40:17] Where are you?

[1:40:18] >> I don't know. Oh, hi. Who's got the mic?

[1:40:22] Somebody have the mic?

[1:40:23] >> Yes.

[1:40:24] >> Where are you? Oh, back there. Okay,

[1:40:25] we'll get

[1:40:26] >> Hello. kind of a followup on the young

[1:40:28] Orthodox Jewish lady's question.

[1:40:30] >> Okay.

[1:40:31] >> Um, why do you think Maharaji and I know

[1:40:34] you he didn't proitize, but why do you

[1:40:37] think he encouraged you to follow his

[1:40:41] cultural way?

[1:40:43] >> He didn't. I I know I know you'll say

[1:40:45] that but somehow it happened that you're

[1:40:48] you're in his way and not and you know I

[1:40:51] know you know his love for Jesus.

[1:40:54] >> Yeah.

[1:40:54] >> And for and your appreciation of the

[1:40:57] balshim to or roomie and it could have

[1:41:01] been any of those cultural paths but it

[1:41:04] but it wasn't

[1:41:06] >> could have been but it wasn't.

[1:41:07] >> Why? Why?

[1:41:08] >> I don't know. And

[1:41:10] have you ever had any you 50 years that

[1:41:13] any struggle not that maybe you weren't

[1:41:16] on the right cultural spiritual path

[1:41:20] >> is my question.

[1:41:21] >> Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. But I don't see it

[1:41:23] as a cultural path at all. It's totally

[1:41:25] personal. My relationship with Maharaji

[1:41:28] is just me and him.

[1:41:30] Uh we were in India so we wanted Indian

[1:41:33] names. So he was kind enough to to be,

[1:41:35] you know, to give us names. But he

[1:41:38] didn't make us Hindus. We're not Hindus.

[1:41:40] He didn't initiate me. I don't have a

[1:41:41] thread. I didn't never did any ceremony

[1:41:44] making me a Hindu. I don't I'm not a

[1:41:46] Hindu. I'm a human being. Hopefully.

[1:41:50] I'm working on it. Let's put it that

[1:41:52] way. So as far as the cultural thing,

[1:41:54] that's not relevant to me. Since you're

[1:41:56] asking me, I'm telling you how I feel

[1:41:58] about it.

[1:41:59] Um,

[1:42:01] I see all the different religions and

[1:42:03] paths as as useful and and leading to

[1:42:06] the same goal. It's just a question of

[1:42:08] your what you what you like. Sometimes

[1:42:12] you feel like a nut, sometimes you

[1:42:14] don't. You know, it's not a big thing.

[1:42:17] It's natural. I was always attracted to

[1:42:19] India right from day one. I always

[1:42:21] wanted to go there and um from a very

[1:42:25] early age

[1:42:27] I I felt very pulled to that and just

[1:42:33] must have been some kind of memory or

[1:42:34] something but I don't know why other

[1:42:36] than that

[1:42:38] it's not exclusive of anything you know

[1:42:41] it's not ma maharaji had devotees from

[1:42:44] all different religions Christians come

[1:42:47] to see him Muslims who come to see him

[1:42:49] siks who come to see him

[1:42:52] people who didn't believe anything would

[1:42:53] come to see him. I mean he was open to

[1:42:55] everybody. There was no

[1:42:58] uh there was no uh requirements you know

[1:43:04] and like somebody was saying with

[1:43:05] grandmother before he used to say when

[1:43:08] you come here to the temple you should

[1:43:10] feel like you're coming to your

[1:43:11] grandfather's house. Everything is

[1:43:13] given. You don't have to do save it to

[1:43:15] eat. You just come everything whatever

[1:43:17] you want. And that's the way it felt. It

[1:43:20] wasn't a Hindu temple for us. It was his

[1:43:22] house,

[1:43:25] you know. It was where he lived. And so

[1:43:27] we that's why we were there. Yeah. There

[1:43:30] was cere there were rituals that were

[1:43:31] going on, but they were nice, but they

[1:43:34] weren't they weren't our main thing. You

[1:43:37] know, our main thing was hanging out

[1:43:38] with him.

[1:43:40] So, okay. Is that okay?

[1:43:44] I mean, you know, there's just not there

[1:43:46] isn't more to it than that. It's not

[1:43:47] like there's some secret meaning in

[1:43:50] anything. It's just

[1:43:52] me and him. It was a personal

[1:43:55] relationship.

[1:43:59] Is personal relationship.

[1:44:01] I remember once I was watching TV late

[1:44:03] at night and one of those infomercials

[1:44:07] came on. You know, you know who Tom

[1:44:09] Landry was? He was the first big coach

[1:44:12] of the Dallas Cowboys. big football

[1:44:15] coach, big well-known guy. So, he comes

[1:44:18] on this infomercial and he asked me

[1:44:21] through the television if I wanted a

[1:44:24] personal relationship with God.

[1:44:28] Yeah.

[1:44:30] He said, "Just call this number 1 800

[1:44:33] God."

[1:44:35] So, I called the number

[1:44:37] and I gave him my credit card number and

[1:44:41] I never got the book.

[1:44:46] Can you believe it? I believe it.

[1:44:50] Personal relationship with the credit

[1:44:52] card company.

[1:44:55] But yeah, Maharaji didn't program us

[1:44:58] like that. It wasn't it was all open and

[1:45:00] free.

[1:45:02] He didn't

[1:45:04] force us to be anything. We didn't wear

[1:45:06] the same clothes. We didn't even like

[1:45:07] each other, you know.

[1:45:10] Really little clicks in the group, you

[1:45:12] know. We don't like those people.

[1:45:16] So,

[1:45:21] yeah.

[1:45:24] Where's the mic? Okay.

[1:45:26] >> Uh, hello. My name is Arsh and I would

[1:45:28] like to thank you first for

[1:45:30] >> Hold the mic a little closer.

[1:45:31] >> Uh, for introducing me to the love uh of

[1:45:35] God and Maharaji. Uh my question is uh

[1:45:38] what should one follow? Should one

[1:45:40] follow the mind which is a little bit

[1:45:43] more practical but uh always fills us

[1:45:46] with regret of not following our heart

[1:45:49] or follow the heart that is more

[1:45:50] rebellious and more it's it's a little

[1:45:52] impractical.

[1:45:57] >> There's not two things going on inside

[1:45:59] of you. There's just you. Figure out who

[1:46:01] you are and figure out what you want and

[1:46:03] go for it.

[1:46:06] It's it's not are you two different

[1:46:08] things? You you talk to yourself in

[1:46:10] different languages every day. Today

[1:46:11] I'll be Indian. Tomorrow I'll be

[1:46:13] American and I'll do this. It's just

[1:46:15] you.

[1:46:17] So

[1:46:21] don't panic.

[1:46:23] Calm your ass down.

[1:46:25] Relax. Life is going to happen whether

[1:46:28] you like it or not. So just be with it

[1:46:30] and see where it takes you and follow

[1:46:32] your heart. Which means not not as

[1:46:35] opposed to the mind.

[1:46:38] The mind is where that interprets the

[1:46:40] feelings that arise but you your

[1:46:42] intuition what what makes you happy and

[1:46:46] combination of what makes you happy and

[1:46:47] what you have to do your

[1:46:48] responsibilities. You have to find some

[1:46:51] way to live inside of both of those

[1:46:53] things at the same time.

[1:47:01] There's people up here in front have

[1:47:03] questions.

[1:47:06] Where's the mic? Oh, he's over there

[1:47:09] already. All right.

[1:47:14] Uh, Prrenam Krishna Das, thank you for

[1:47:17] just having us all here and I just want

[1:47:19] to thank everybody who is here.

[1:47:22] Yesterday evening when everybody was

[1:47:24] singing and you were singing, I felt

[1:47:27] that everybody is singing uh for me to

[1:47:31] get deeper inside me and it was just

[1:47:35] magical and I cannot express in words.

[1:47:38] Uh so just want to thank you. Um the

[1:47:42] question I have is that I always feel

[1:47:46] scared of death all the time and

[1:47:50] >> I'm sorry you missed that. What's that?

[1:47:51] that you always

[1:47:52] >> feel scared of death.

[1:47:54] >> Scared of death.

[1:47:56] >> Death.

[1:47:56] >> Uh-huh.

[1:47:57] >> And when I the more I sit with myself,

[1:48:00] the more I realize death is the only

[1:48:03] reality and it will come to me, my dear

[1:48:06] ones whom I love. And I just don't know

[1:48:09] how to deal with that emotion and

[1:48:13] constant fear of death.

[1:48:32] Wait till you get old. Then you really

[1:48:35] get scared.

[1:48:40] I don't know.

[1:48:43] It sounds like you're more afraid of

[1:48:44] life than death, actually.

[1:48:48] And you're using that to just kind of

[1:48:50] shut yourself down.

[1:48:53] >> I don't know.

[1:48:54] >> I don't know either. How will I know?

[1:48:56] It's you.

[1:48:58] But um

[1:49:02] I mean,

[1:49:05] you know, it's inevitable, right, for

[1:49:08] everybody. Everybody in this room's

[1:49:10] going to die

[1:49:12] probably.

[1:49:14] Yeah. You see, everybody's going to go.

[1:49:17] So there's no sense even thinking about

[1:49:19] it. Just live every day.

[1:49:22] Make every day the best day of your life

[1:49:25] though

[1:49:26] because

[1:49:28] sometime come you won't be able to tell

[1:49:30] the people you love that you love them

[1:49:32] anymore.

[1:49:33] So take the opportunity now to live

[1:49:36] fully.

[1:49:38] You know that's this is the shot you

[1:49:41] have.

[1:49:42] >> Yeah.

[1:49:43] >> So you might as well take it,

[1:49:45] right?

[1:49:47] Amen.

[1:50:03] Death is of the physical body

[1:50:07] that we identify with that. So it seems

[1:50:10] like a big thing to us because we

[1:50:13] identify we think we are our bodies, our

[1:50:16] minds, our emotions that so the body's

[1:50:19] gone then we're gone. What a surprise

[1:50:22] it's going to be

[1:50:25] that when the body goes we still be here

[1:50:28] at night when you're sleeping

[1:50:30] your body you're not aware of your body

[1:50:33] but you're quite

[1:50:36] aware in dream you're living in dreams

[1:50:39] and that seems totally real to you right

[1:50:42] if you die in a dream you weep and cry

[1:50:45] if somebody dies in a dream and then you

[1:50:47] wake up oh it's just a dream

[1:50:49] Well,

[1:50:52] they say this is a dream, too.

[1:50:55] The one we're stuck in, just like at

[1:50:57] night, you that's totally real to you

[1:50:59] when you dream,

[1:51:01] right?

[1:51:03] If we wake up from this, we say, "Oh, I

[1:51:06] really thought that was real. It was

[1:51:07] just a dream. It doesn't make it

[1:51:10] unimportant.

[1:51:12] It doesn't mean we don't do the best we

[1:51:14] can. It doesn't mean we don't live the

[1:51:16] best way we can. It doesn't mean we

[1:51:18] don't treat people well, don't treat

[1:51:20] ourselves well, but

[1:51:27] there's a quality about it.

[1:51:30] It's always changing.

[1:51:35] But inside of all that change, there's a

[1:51:38] thing in in us that's very real. Our own

[1:51:41] true nature,

[1:51:44] who you really are is never is not the

[1:51:47] dream. It's not the experiences we have

[1:51:50] in our daily lives.

[1:51:53] But in order to u

[1:51:57] become more aware of that, one has to do

[1:52:00] something. One has to look you know it's

[1:52:04] not

[1:52:28] like I told you the story at the very

[1:52:29] beginning about that old baba

[1:52:31] The old yogi

[1:52:33] Krishna came to him and said come play

[1:52:34] with me in Bindavan. So he dropped the

[1:52:37] body and went to bind went to play with

[1:52:38] Krishna. The body is nothing for him.

[1:52:41] These great beings they don't they're

[1:52:43] not like us. We think this is real.

[1:52:47] You know we really do.

[1:52:51] So if this is real, if this is our shot,

[1:52:55] if this is what we have, then maybe we

[1:52:58] should do the best we can.

[1:53:00] right right now. Maybe we should try to

[1:53:04] overcome those kind of fears and really

[1:53:06] live and really give ourselves to life

[1:53:09] and really

[1:53:11] open up and and be with the people we

[1:53:14] love and share that love with them and

[1:53:17] don't have so we won't have regrets when

[1:53:19] we take our last breath.

[1:53:21] Right? When you take your last breath,

[1:53:23] you're going to know, "Oh, I was

[1:53:25] so scared of this. I didn't do all

[1:53:26] that time and I wanted to watch

[1:53:28] television and I never did. I was too

[1:53:31] afraid. But you didn't want that. You

[1:53:34] want to live now.

[1:53:37] And

[1:53:40] that's how you go through the day.

[1:53:42] That's important.

[1:53:54] Yeah. I mean there's a lot to say about

[1:53:56] that but main thing is the quality of

[1:53:59] your life you're responsible for that.

[1:54:05] So if you allow if we allow ourselves to

[1:54:08] be

[1:54:10] paralyzed by fear of one thing or

[1:54:13] another, it could be death, it could be

[1:54:15] life, it could be you might be afraid

[1:54:17] across the street, all kinds of things.

[1:54:23] It behooves us to work with that stuff,

[1:54:26] you know, because we can we can you

[1:54:30] don't have to be a victim of that stuff.

[1:54:33] That's some

[1:54:35] program that's running in there, you

[1:54:37] know, some some some storyline that we

[1:54:41] get caught in. It it doesn't have to be

[1:54:44] like that. We have the power within

[1:54:48] to overcome those kind of things and

[1:54:51] learn to let go of them and

[1:54:54] live good lives despite the fact that

[1:54:57] it's true everybody's going to die. But

[1:54:59] what do you do? You just like stop

[1:55:01] eating now? No, you can't.

[1:55:05] There's a We're impelled by our life

[1:55:10] situation to keep going on. So, we

[1:55:13] should try to go on the best way we can.

[1:55:16] Whatever that means to you because

[1:55:17] that's what you have to find. What does

[1:55:18] that mean? Yeah. You might live to be 3

[1:55:22] million years old. You go like, "Shit,

[1:55:23] when I was 40, I was so scared. Now I'm

[1:55:26] 3 million. I'm still here. I wasted so

[1:55:28] much time."

[1:55:31] Right?

[1:55:37] It depends you know on on the other hand

[1:55:39] there's there's meditation practices

[1:55:41] where you meditate on the dissolution of

[1:55:43] the body

[1:55:46] you you visualize the blood and the pus

[1:55:49] and the goo and the the grime and the

[1:55:52] slime as it disintegrates and gets eaten

[1:55:55] by bacteria and worms and just this is

[1:55:59] what

[1:56:00] brings real love to your

[1:56:05] But that's that's the advanced practice.

[1:56:13] So yeah,

[1:56:19] you can get a vote as to how you go

[1:56:21] through the day,

[1:56:23] but you have to

[1:56:26] don't try to push the fear away. Be with

[1:56:29] it.

[1:56:31] See where it is. See where it comes

[1:56:32] from. Be with it. It'll go away.

[1:56:36] It's just it's a trip. Your karmas are

[1:56:39] running on you. But you can you don't

[1:56:41] have to be tricked by that.

[1:56:45] Good luck.

[1:56:51] [clears throat]

[1:56:54] >> Pranam Krishna Das. Thank you for your

[1:56:56] grace.

[1:56:56] >> You're related to her.

[1:56:58] >> Yes.

[1:56:58] >> No. two questions from one family

[1:57:00] [laughter]

[1:57:03] >> but as you said uh spirituality is in

[1:57:06] personal it's not a family relationship

[1:57:10] [laughter]

[1:57:11] >> okay

[1:57:12] >> uh I've started meditating and questions

[1:57:16] are dropping uh from inside

[1:57:20] but uh still I have uh I would like to

[1:57:22] know the more I read about Ramdas and

[1:57:25] you I feel that you both are very

[1:57:28] different personalities and uh your

[1:57:32] journeys have been very different

[1:57:33] through in spirituality.

[1:57:36] Uh he seems to be more of a meditative

[1:57:38] kind of a person and you more of have a

[1:57:40] surrender and love. Uh just want to know

[1:57:44] your uh your your views on it like how

[1:57:48] do you see your journey

[1:57:51] and Ramdas's journey?

[1:57:54] any interesting stories that in the way

[1:57:58] in the difference between your journey

[1:57:59] and his journey would be also like I

[1:58:01] would love to hear.

[1:58:02] >> He was a lot smarter than I am that's

[1:58:04] all that's for sure. But the journey was

[1:58:07] the same. It's a journey of surrender

[1:58:09] into Maharaji.

[1:58:11] No different. He talked a lot. I sing a

[1:58:14] lot.

[1:58:16] That's the only difference. We're both

[1:58:18] devotees of Maharaji and both of us

[1:58:23] we want to be in that love all the time.

[1:58:27] same thing.

[1:58:36] He's older,

[1:58:38] not just physically. I mean, you feel

[1:58:40] he's more

[1:58:45] expansive in a way. Maharaji looked at

[1:58:48] him one day said, "Ramas, you're the

[1:58:51] commander-in-chief.

[1:58:52] Krishna, you're the general."

[1:58:55] Okay. So he's the commander-in-chief.

[1:59:01] So there's but when it came to loving

[1:59:04] Maharaj, he was very he really

[1:59:07] especially in those last years.

[1:59:24] He really melted into him beautifully.

[1:59:26] Really.

[1:59:30] One time uh

[1:59:33] every once in a while he gets stuck in

[1:59:34] his head. You know, one time on Monday

[1:59:37] mornings they went to the beach

[1:59:40] where he was able to get in the water

[1:59:41] and be free of the weight of the body.

[1:59:43] You know, 20 years in a wheelchair,

[1:59:47] very difficult. So he would get in the

[1:59:49] water with these tubes and floats and be

[1:59:53] free from the body weight. So I would I

[1:59:56] would catch up with him later in the day

[1:59:57] because I sleep late.

[2:00:01] And I So I get to the beach and I'm

[2:00:03] walking towards the beach and I see he's

[2:00:05] sitting in a car in the other the edge

[2:00:06] of the parking lot.

[2:00:09] So I walked over and the door was open

[2:00:13] by his seat and he was just stewing. He

[2:00:17] was just like

[2:00:23] just sitting there like that. So I stood

[2:00:24] there and for a minute and

[2:00:27] he looked over at me. He goes, "I'm a

[2:00:29] fake

[2:00:32] and you're a fake, too."

[2:00:35] So I just looked him. I said, "Yeah, but

[2:00:38] we're real fakes." He just he just lost

[2:00:42] it. It was great.

[2:00:50] you know

[2:00:52] Dr. around us who because he's American

[2:00:57] and western.

[2:00:59] We don't

[2:01:02] He was a saint. He really was. He was

[2:01:06] really

[2:01:08] uh he was a lotus that grew out of the

[2:01:10] mud. And yeah, there was a lot of mud,

[2:01:14] but he grew out of that mud. It was very

[2:01:17] beautiful.

[2:01:20] But we have a

[2:01:22] I I remember when my friends were going

[2:01:25] up to see him for the first time and

[2:01:27] they asked me did I want to see this guy

[2:01:29] you know Richard Albert who's now Ramda

[2:01:31] said no you know American yogis what do

[2:01:34] I care about that

[2:01:37] once an always an

[2:01:40] so there you go

[2:01:47] anybody

[2:01:50] Where's the mic? Oh, okay.

[2:01:53] >> Um,

[2:01:57] how would you

[2:02:00] describe your um

[2:02:03] experience

[2:02:05] of

[2:02:08] this stuff?

[2:02:09] >> Of what?

[2:02:11] >> This stuff. Maharaji, your time in

[2:02:14] India.

[2:02:15] um between coming back from India

[2:02:20] and um

[2:02:23] having the the experience the idea that

[2:02:26] you wanted to sing with people. I've

[2:02:29] always been curious about how these

[2:02:32] teachings felt to you in that time in

[2:02:36] between.

[2:02:38] I was suicidal a lot of the time, very

[2:02:42] depressed, very unhappy

[2:02:46] because being with Maharaji, I I I

[2:02:49] experienced love in a way I had never

[2:02:52] experienced it before.

[2:02:54] And I got attached to his body. So when

[2:02:57] the body wasn't there, where was I going

[2:02:59] to find that love?

[2:03:01] It wasn't I wasn't going to find it

[2:03:02] anywhere.

[2:03:04] I had lost it and it was gone.

[2:03:08] ultimately gone. There was no second

[2:03:11] coming. It was over.

[2:03:14] It was brutal for me. It took me a long

[2:03:17] time.

[2:03:20] And then they saved me. I didn't I

[2:03:22] couldn't save myself. They saved me. He

[2:03:25] came back to me and opened me up again.

[2:03:31] I I was helpless. I'm still helpless. I

[2:03:34] just look like I'm not.

[2:03:36] I can't do It's all them. I don't

[2:03:40] have I mean, I can sing a little bit.

[2:03:43] That's it.

[2:03:45] They They saved me. And 1984,

[2:03:50] was it four? 1984. Yeah, 1995. No, 90

[2:03:58] something. Some year around there.

[2:04:02] It's in my book.

[2:04:06] the whole story.

[2:04:08] He came back and he opened me up and

[2:04:10] that was like being born again. He's

[2:04:12] like, "Okay, let the kid live."

[2:04:16] But I was helpless.

[2:04:21] I really was. I couldn't do it. There

[2:04:23] was nobody in my my family, my wife.

[2:04:27] There was nobody doing anything. I had

[2:04:30] no

[2:04:32] examples of anybody taking care of

[2:04:33] themselves.

[2:04:36] It was really

[2:04:38] bleak for a lot of years.

[2:04:42] And the suffering that I caused other

[2:04:44] people because I was so unhappy was also

[2:04:48] terrible.

[2:04:50] But I couldn't help myself.

[2:04:55] What can I say? Then they just they just

[2:04:58] boom. And then it all changed.

[2:05:05] And it's not like I'm not saying I

[2:05:06] deserve that. That would be ridiculous.

[2:05:11] Grace is grace. Nobody deserves grace or

[2:05:14] it wouldn't be grace.

[2:05:16] It would be something you earned. But

[2:05:18] grace is causeless. It just happens.

[2:05:23] And it happened. And I happened to be

[2:05:26] there. But here we are.

[2:05:30] That's the deal.

[2:05:35] So when I say it's difficult

[2:05:39] to get this together and do something

[2:05:41] that's actually good for ourselves, I

[2:05:44] mean it.

[2:05:46] It's difficult. It's very hard to

[2:05:49] overcome the flow of stupidity that we

[2:05:51] call life.

[2:05:53] you know, bouncing off of this, bouncing

[2:05:57] off of that day after day, never waking

[2:06:00] up, never taking care of ourselves,

[2:06:02] never going after the things we want.

[2:06:07] That's what we do.

[2:06:09] Oh, this is terrible.

[2:06:12] I apologize.

[2:06:15] What to do? You push a button, you get

[2:06:17] what you get. Nothing I can do about it.

[2:06:20] Yeah.

[2:06:24] Oh, wait, wait. You don't have the

[2:06:25] microphone. You can't talk.

[2:06:26] >> The mic happens to be here.

[2:06:29] >> You'll get it. Okay, just wait your

[2:06:31] turn.

[2:06:32] >> Okay.

[2:06:33] >> Where's the mic? Ah, hello.

[2:06:35] >> Hi. Um, could you speak a bit more about

[2:06:40] the context when Mahar Raji shared

[2:06:43] courage is a real big thing?

[2:06:45] >> Let me just say one thing about that

[2:06:46] whole rant I just did.

[2:06:49] Even all through that,

[2:06:53] the longing to be in his presence

[2:06:57] was fiercely, deeply intense. It never

[2:07:03] went away for a second.

[2:07:05] So,

[2:07:08] I'm just saying it's not like I was just

[2:07:10] sitting around off. I was

[2:07:13] burning with longing

[2:07:16] and they came.

[2:07:19] Okay.

[2:07:22] Yeah.

[2:07:24] Um you have been sharing Maharaji saying

[2:07:29] courage is a real big thing.

[2:07:33] Can you talk a bit more about that?

[2:07:35] >> What don't you understand?

[2:07:39] What what's what's I mean if there was a

[2:07:41] simple statement that's it

[2:07:44] you know when he said that to me the

[2:07:46] Indian guy said oh baba god takes care

[2:07:48] of his devotees

[2:07:51] courage it's a really big thing

[2:07:53] sometimes it's all you you just have to

[2:07:55] go for it

[2:07:56] >> okay how did you collect it and

[2:08:01] just

[2:08:05] how did you take the leap

[2:08:07] >> I didn't you You know, every time I was

[2:08:10] just about to step off the cliff, he

[2:08:11] he'd moved the cliff.

[2:08:14] You But I was What could I do? I was

[2:08:16] just up day after day after day.

[2:08:18] Every time I up, he unfuck it.

[2:08:22] But you just got to go up. You

[2:08:24] can't do anything else.

[2:08:27] You want it, go for it. That's the

[2:08:29] thing. One of the things that happened

[2:08:31] was the uh the when I was with that

[2:08:34] young baba the 163 year old guy

[2:08:39] one day he looked at me and he said he

[2:08:42] made this face and he goes

[2:08:45] you have to develop willpower and I

[2:08:48] thought to myself willpower what do I

[2:08:50] need that for? Then he made a bigger

[2:08:52] face because he heard he knew my

[2:08:55] thought. He heard and then he did

[2:08:57] something and he showed me what he was

[2:09:01] seeing in me and then I made a face

[2:09:04] because I saw me and I wasn't doing

[2:09:07] anything. I wasn't going after the

[2:09:08] things I wanted in life.

[2:09:14] I was just floating.

[2:09:16] And then I saw this just my life, you

[2:09:19] know? This is not like worldly life and

[2:09:21] spiritual life. This just me and I'm not

[2:09:23] doing How do I expect something to

[2:09:26] happen in this world if it's not

[2:09:27] happening if I'm not going after this

[2:09:29] stuff? And I thought, you know,

[2:09:33] willpower. You want something. You want

[2:09:35] the ice cream in the freezer. So your

[2:09:37] hand, your arm, your will picks up your

[2:09:40] arm, you open the door, you take the ice

[2:09:42] cream, and you throw in your face, you

[2:09:44] know.

[2:09:46] your desire and the will. The word for

[2:09:49] which willpower is it the the power to

[2:09:53] re realize your desires.

[2:09:55] So why wouldn't you do that?

[2:10:00] Courage. You need courage. That's what

[2:10:02] he was telling me. I wasn't doing it.

[2:10:06] And that's what he said. You need

[2:10:07] courage to go after the things you want.

[2:10:11] Nobody can do it for you.

[2:10:14] That's the good news and the bad news.

[2:10:21] Get that guy in the back before he has a

[2:10:23] coniption.

[2:10:27] Can What a word is conipion, right?

[2:10:29] That's a great word. I haven't heard

[2:10:31] that since I said it last time 40 years

[2:10:33] ago.

[2:10:35] Hi.

[2:10:40] >> Hello. My name is

[2:10:42] >> Yeah,

[2:10:43] >> my name is Yani L. And

[2:10:47] >> just a little closer. That's

[2:10:50] >> And I want to ask for a moment of

[2:10:54] silence

[2:10:56] for 250 people who just got killed in

[2:11:00] Israel in the last day.

[2:11:03] 1,500

[2:11:05] wounded from the attacks of the Hamas.

[2:11:09] Not only in Israel, all over the world,

[2:11:12] people get wounded, people get killed.

[2:11:16] So I would ask for a moment of silence

[2:11:20] for the memory. Thank you.

[2:11:23] >> Okay.

[2:12:32] >> [clears throat and cough]

[2:12:51] >> Hi Katie. Um, I've been uh listening to

[2:12:56] you since co and you've brought me a lot

[2:12:59] of comfort, particularly your personal

[2:13:03] stories as I feel like I really relate

[2:13:06] to some of the despair and u

[2:13:11] difficulty that you've had um bringing

[2:13:15] yourself into a space of more peace and

[2:13:18] awareness and um yeah, I think I was

[2:13:22] just

[2:13:24] wanted to ask if you other than chanting

[2:13:27] the name if you have any other

[2:13:30] suggestions for someone who's working as

[2:13:34] actively as possible to develop more of

[2:13:36] that kind of awareness.

[2:13:38] Thanks.

[2:14:06] You just follow your heart as best you

[2:14:08] can

[2:14:09] to lead you back to yourself.

[2:14:15] Maharaji never encouraged us to do

[2:14:17] practice for our own sake.

[2:14:21] He never encourages the practice at all.

[2:14:24] He said, we asked him, "How do you find

[2:14:27] God?" He said, "Serve people." What?

[2:14:31] How do you raise condolini? Feed people.

[2:14:34] What?

[2:14:37] He never encouraged us to think about

[2:14:39] ourselves,

[2:14:40] but all we do is think about ourselves.

[2:14:46] So don't

[2:14:50] How not? Well, that's where practice

[2:14:52] comes in.

[2:14:56] All we do is think about ourselves all

[2:14:58] lifelong.

[2:15:00] And then we dream about ourselves.

[2:15:03] Then we take another body and do it

[2:15:04] again.

[2:15:08] So now we're here. We have some idea of

[2:15:12] what we're doing to ourselves.

[2:15:15] So let's do something else.

[2:15:18] Let's look into this a little bit.

[2:15:23] How do you want to go through your life?

[2:15:24] How do what do you want to feel?

[2:15:28] And how to overcome all the things that

[2:15:30] prevent us from having that love and

[2:15:32] living in that love?

[2:15:35] If we don't do it, it's not going to

[2:15:36] happen.

[2:15:38] It's not like you have to manufacture

[2:15:40] the love. The love is always here. We

[2:15:42] just have to stop turning away from it.

[2:15:47] We have to look towards it and it's

[2:15:50] inside already

[2:15:54] but it's all the stories

[2:15:56] all that stuff we cover it up with which

[2:15:59] we believe totally much more than we

[2:16:01] believe the love is there we believe all

[2:16:04] the stories which is why we never get

[2:16:06] underneath them why we can't let go. So

[2:16:09] when you're chanting you're asked to do

[2:16:11] one thing chant.

[2:16:14] You can't. You're thinking about this.

[2:16:16] You're thinking about that. Okay. Then

[2:16:18] you come back for a millisecond. Then

[2:16:20] you're gone again. Then you come back

[2:16:22] for a millisecond. Then you're gone

[2:16:23] again. Then a week later, you come back

[2:16:26] for a millisecond. Then you're gone

[2:16:27] again. Every time you come back, the

[2:16:30] neural pathways in the brain get a

[2:16:31] little deeper. And theoretically, it

[2:16:34] gets a little easier.

[2:16:36] You just keep coming back again and

[2:16:38] again. And little by little we get more

[2:16:41] familiar with what it means to be here.

[2:16:44] And then we look out at the world and we

[2:16:47] see other people

[2:16:50] and um

[2:16:52] we see how hard it is for me to get this

[2:16:55] together, how hard it must be for them.

[2:16:58] And then you start to feel some kindness

[2:17:00] and compassion for others. And then

[2:17:02] you're thinking about yourself less so

[2:17:04] you feel better.

[2:17:06] And it's a cycle.

[2:17:09] And then it becomes easier to help other

[2:17:11] people because you're thinking about

[2:17:13] them and not yourself.

[2:17:18] And you see what people do to

[2:17:19] themselves.

[2:17:21] You don't see that until you see what

[2:17:22] you do to yourself.

[2:17:26] So

[2:17:29] little by little

[2:17:43] >> [snorts]

[2:17:48] >> Ramas used to say how the stroke saved

[2:17:50] him.

[2:17:52] You know, very hard.

[2:17:55] He suffered terribly. He never

[2:17:56] complained.

[2:17:58] But he used to say how the stroke saved

[2:18:00] him. And he had this core

[2:18:03] of stuff he just could not get to. And

[2:18:06] it was pushing him around

[2:18:09] and keeping him

[2:18:14] in not the best place. But when he had

[2:18:17] the stroke,

[2:18:19] he had no option. There was no escape.

[2:18:23] It was over. The door was closed. He He

[2:18:27] was He couldn't do anything for himself.

[2:18:30] He couldn't eat. He couldn't

[2:18:33] he he couldn't turn himself in bed

[2:18:35] anymore. He couldn't get from the chair

[2:18:36] to the wheelchair. Couldn't wipe his own

[2:18:39] ass. He couldn't do anything. He had to

[2:18:41] surrender again and again, more and

[2:18:44] more. And he kept surrendering and he

[2:18:48] found Maharaji.

[2:18:52] Without the stroke, that wouldn't have

[2:18:53] happened for him. And he knew it.

[2:18:57] And at first he used to say it was

[2:18:59] fierce grace. Maharaji stroked him. But

[2:19:03] when he went to India the only time he

[2:19:05] went after the stroke Siddima

[2:19:08] immediately said to him Ramdas Maharaji

[2:19:11] didn't give you the stroke. He would

[2:19:13] never do anything like that. The stroke

[2:19:16] is your karmas.

[2:19:19] What he gives you is the grace and the

[2:19:22] strength to overcome the effects of

[2:19:25] those karmas.

[2:19:28] and

[2:19:30] really enter into a deeper space. And he

[2:19:32] did.

[2:19:34] He was a real hero.

[2:19:55] >> [snorts]

[2:20:00] >> I don't have the mic. Don't look at me.

[2:20:04] >> Hello.

[2:20:05] >> Where are you? Ah,

[2:20:07] >> I have a question um to you about

[2:20:10] psychedelics.

[2:20:13] >> Do you believe this is an eligible tool

[2:20:16] for spiritual growth?

[2:20:20] >> I believe I wouldn't be here if it

[2:20:22] wasn't for psychedelics.

[2:20:24] I took peyote after my junior year in

[2:20:26] high school

[2:20:28] and it totally ruined my life

[2:20:31] [laughter] because I couldn't get

[2:20:32] anymore.

[2:20:34] Uh it showed me, you know, I had this I

[2:20:37] I had no doubt what I was experiencing

[2:20:40] was infinitely more real than Long

[2:20:43] Island.

[2:20:47] So it wasn't that big a jump you know

[2:20:51] but um there's no doubt that

[2:20:53] psychedelics can uh give you a glimpse

[2:20:56] into different dimensions

[2:20:59] but do they destroy the karmas that

[2:21:03] create your own suffering? I don't think

[2:21:06] so.

[2:21:08] Maharaji himself said the yogi medicine

[2:21:12] LSD brings you into the room with Christ

[2:21:16] but you can't stay.

[2:21:21] If you don't mind keep getting thrown

[2:21:23] out of on your ass then keep doing it

[2:21:26] but eventually you'll want to stay in

[2:21:27] the room and the way to do it he said is

[2:21:30] love.

[2:21:32] So he's very clear about that. He wasn't

[2:21:36] judgmental about it. In fact, he told

[2:21:37] Rau to give it to his father when he was

[2:21:40] there.

[2:21:42] Give him a dose of the yogi medicine

[2:21:45] and it changed his life.

[2:21:47] And

[2:21:49] you know that's all I can say. I mean I

[2:21:52] think it's it can be useful. It can show

[2:21:56] those of us who are totally locked into

[2:21:58] the physical, emotional, mental reality

[2:22:00] that there's other realities. But can

[2:22:04] you stay there?

[2:22:07] I don't think so. Even if you dose

[2:22:09] yourself every day, sooner or later

[2:22:12] you'll get your body will fall apart and

[2:22:14] that'll be that. You have to start again

[2:22:15] somewhere.

[2:22:17] So the question is does it destroy the

[2:22:20] root of suffering? And I don't think the

[2:22:22] answer is yes. I think it's no. I don't

[2:22:25] think it does. But that's what I know. I

[2:22:29] don't Ram does

[2:22:33] I'm pretty sure he would agree with me.

[2:22:39] He took he was on acid when he had the

[2:22:41] stroke.

[2:22:43] And because he was on acid, he didn't

[2:22:45] realize he had a stroke.

[2:22:47] He had taken the acid and he said,

[2:22:49] "Okay, now I have to write a book on

[2:22:50] aging. Let me let me imagine that I'm

[2:22:55] I'm old." And he took the stroke and he

[2:22:58] was he took the acid and he was you know

[2:23:00] and then while he was on the acid he he

[2:23:02] had a stroke

[2:23:04] but he had stopped taking his blood

[2:23:07] pressure medicine

[2:23:09] before that. So his blood pressure went

[2:23:11] through the roof and he had a stroke.

[2:23:15] That's karma.

[2:23:18] He stopped taking the medicine. He was

[2:23:20] going to start Chinese medicine but he

[2:23:22] never did. And the days went by. Boom.

[2:23:26] Boom. Boom.

[2:23:30] So

[2:23:39] sometimes karmas just make us do things

[2:23:41] that

[2:23:43] we don't even realize what we're doing.

[2:23:48] We

[2:23:53] we think we know what we're doing.

[2:23:56] But we don't we don't realize the

[2:24:00] results of our actions, what they could

[2:24:01] be. Of course, how do we

[2:24:05] but

[2:24:12] like Maharaji said for a yogi no poison

[2:24:14] can affect him. He was beyond those

[2:24:17] things. He's beyond those states.

[2:24:21] Maharaji was.

[2:24:24] So he knew what he was talking about

[2:24:27] and that's what he said. He can bring

[2:24:29] you into the room with Christ.

[2:24:31] That sounds good, but you can't stay.

[2:24:35] That sounds bad.

[2:24:37] If you want to stay the way it is love,

[2:24:40] that sounds good.

[2:24:42] So that's the deal as far as I can tell.

[2:24:52] But I think you know this micro doing

[2:24:54] thing I think it's it's probable that it

[2:24:56] can be helpful

[2:24:58] uh

[2:25:00] disentangling some of the uh the

[2:25:03] knee-jerk emotional issues that we have.

[2:25:07] Maybe it gives it can give insight into

[2:25:09] some of those things which would free

[2:25:11] you from some of that stuff.

[2:25:14] But

[2:25:17] but who knows in the long run what it

[2:25:21] does.

[2:25:24] I found that it crippled my will

[2:25:29] without realizing it. I mean of course I

[2:25:31] was dosing myself every day.

[2:25:35] I would take peyote all week and then at

[2:25:37] the in the weekends I would hit myself

[2:25:39] with a thousand mics of sandos acid.

[2:25:43] and just be 36 hours in bliss.

[2:25:49] And I was lying on my bed one day kind

[2:25:52] of coming back and just gazing out the

[2:25:55] window.

[2:25:59] I felt something coming towards me.

[2:26:03] What is this

[2:26:05] coming closer and closer? What is this?

[2:26:09] What? What? What? Oh no. a thought

[2:26:13] and then I was thinking

[2:26:16] and then it it was leaving don't go

[2:26:19] don't go don't

[2:26:23] and then some time later

[2:26:28] no you know slowly more quickly uh and

[2:26:33] then all there was was a flow of thought

[2:26:34] again I was back

[2:26:38] I was sound.

[2:26:41] It was amazing.

[2:26:55] >> Yeah.

[2:26:57] >> Hi, Katie.

[2:26:58] >> Hi.

[2:26:58] >> I'm wearing my foreigner shirt for you.

[2:27:01] I want to know what love is. It was my

[2:27:02] mom's favorite song. So, when you were

[2:27:04] singing that, I love it. And I'll make

[2:27:07] this really quick. When I found it, I

[2:27:09] went into this like music store in Nyak

[2:27:13] and I had seen it somewhere else and

[2:27:15] then I saw a guitar that was named where

[2:27:18] I lived in Laurel Canyon and I had

[2:27:20] recently lost my home in Laurel Canyon

[2:27:22] to mold, which is part of where my

[2:27:24] question is going to go. Um,

[2:27:27] and then the guy in the store, we

[2:27:29] somehow wound up talking and he's like

[2:27:31] did all these paintings of rock stars

[2:27:34] and then he had like a painting of me

[2:27:35] and Cruy Baba.

[2:27:38] >> So I had to go back and get the shirt

[2:27:40] >> of foreigner because it all linked to me

[2:27:42] that day. But I had recently lost my

[2:27:44] home from mold, like my dream home

[2:27:48] >> and I left. I came back um here, my

[2:27:51] dad's here, he's having health issues.

[2:27:53] Basically my question is um I what do

[2:27:57] you do when you feel like you lost

[2:27:59] everything? Like I've heard you describe

[2:28:01] it as it's all like burning away. It

[2:28:04] feels like that and you're in just like

[2:28:07] an anxiety of like so much anxiety with

[2:28:10] a transition. And I do my practice. I've

[2:28:12] been chanting with you for for years

[2:28:14] every Thursday. I've studied yoga. I a

[2:28:17] martial artist. I I have tools but the

[2:28:20] anxiety is like so strong.

[2:28:24] That's if you have any advice.

[2:28:27] >> Yeah,

[2:28:33] there's a really interesting book by a

[2:28:35] Tibetan llama. His name is Mingur

[2:28:37] Rimpache and the book is called the joy

[2:28:40] of

[2:28:42] what is it? Living. Joy of living. Yeah.

[2:28:47] Joy of living. And he he describes how

[2:28:50] as a child he was having these

[2:28:53] incredible panic attacks,

[2:28:56] paralyzing attacks, and he was

[2:28:59] recognized as a reincarnated llama like

[2:29:02] a three and treated like a prince his

[2:29:05] whole life. And but he was having these

[2:29:07] panic attacks. And he writes very

[2:29:10] beautifully about how he worked with it,

[2:29:13] how he overcame them. And maybe I think

[2:29:15] that'll help you. Um

[2:29:21] this these there's a lot of the these

[2:29:24] those kind of

[2:29:27] those issues very deep very hard to deal

[2:29:31] with because they're so

[2:29:33] knee-jerk they don't you don't think

[2:29:35] about they hit you you know and how to

[2:29:37] deal with that underlying anxiety that

[2:29:40] fear

[2:29:42] but um sometimes chanting and practice

[2:29:45] is not enough. You know, sometimes you

[2:29:47] have to go talk to somebody who has a

[2:29:50] way of helping you through getting a

[2:29:53] relationship with it, getting learning

[2:29:55] about it,

[2:29:57] finding space with it is very big thing.

[2:30:01] The llama talks about that very good.

[2:30:05] There's no quick button to push.

[2:30:08] This is this is this moment.

[2:30:11] And um

[2:30:14] one of the things he says is that it

[2:30:16] wasn't so much the the panic attack

[2:30:18] itself, it was the fear about the panic

[2:30:21] attack

[2:30:23] that was more paralyzing in a way.

[2:30:27] So there's a lot to be said about this,

[2:30:29] but and there are people who really deal

[2:30:31] with these things. So I would whatever

[2:30:33] is going to help you, go for it. You

[2:30:35] know, don't don't just say I'm a yogi. I

[2:30:37] don't do that You know the

[2:30:39] therapist can be a yogi who does that

[2:30:41] So it might be good.

[2:30:46] So you can't meditate yourself away.

[2:30:50] You know, you want to get here and on

[2:30:54] the way here there's all kinds of

[2:30:56] obstacles and one of these obstacles is

[2:30:58] your anxiety. So there's so many ways to

[2:31:02] deal with these things. But

[2:31:06] one of the llamas I studied with talks

[2:31:08] about the handshake practice.

[2:31:10] So when you feel that anxiety coming on,

[2:31:14] you go, "Oh, hi.

[2:31:18] How you doing? I I know you don't you

[2:31:21] were here just yesterday, right?" Yeah.

[2:31:24] Well, you want some tea? Come on in. You

[2:31:26] know, have a seat. What's up? you know,

[2:31:29] and the minute you you see it,

[2:31:33] you're already, you know, not in it the

[2:31:37] same way.

[2:31:39] But it's

[2:31:42] that kind of practice, you have to be

[2:31:44] right on it. You know, once it hits you,

[2:31:46] like anger or fear or shame, one of

[2:31:49] those when those things hits you and

[2:31:51] you're in it, there's very little you

[2:31:52] can do except suffer until it decides to

[2:31:55] go. But if you can catch it early

[2:31:58] enough.

[2:32:00] Oh, hi. Yeah, that's you. Okay. Yeah, I

[2:32:04] know you. Yeah, you were just here.

[2:32:06] you. Come back. You know, here have a

[2:32:08] seat.

[2:32:09] And then you lose some of your fear

[2:32:11] about it, you know, because that's

[2:32:13] because not only are you you have the

[2:32:15] anxiety, but you have anxiety about

[2:32:17] anxiety and that just like, you know,

[2:32:20] that's a double whammy.

[2:32:22] So,

[2:32:29] How when are we supposed to stop this

[2:32:32] torture?

[2:32:35] This has been a very unusual afternoon,

[2:32:37] I have to tell you. I'm not cranky, but

[2:32:40] I don't know what I am today. Anyhow,

[2:32:42] where's the mic?

[2:32:45] And there's another way to deal with

[2:32:47] this. Sitting in the back of the room is

[2:32:48] David Nickton

[2:32:50] who has a uh Dharmamoon

[2:32:54] meditation

[2:32:56] organization and they teach and train in

[2:32:59] mindfulness and meditation. Very good

[2:33:02] organization, good practice, good

[2:33:04] teaching and you can look that up

[2:33:06] dharmoon.com

[2:33:09] and uh they know how to how to share

[2:33:12] that practice and how to open it up for

[2:33:15] you. And uh

[2:33:21] the mindfulness practice is a very

[2:33:23] powerful practice

[2:33:25] and they they're very good at teaching

[2:33:27] that and sharing that. So if you're

[2:33:29] interested in that, you can go to

[2:33:30] dharmamoon.com.

[2:33:41] >> Hello.

[2:33:42] >> Where are you?

[2:33:42] >> Hi.

[2:33:43] >> Ah, you got the mic. How'd [laughter]

[2:33:44] you do that?

[2:33:46] Um, I have to write this down because

[2:33:48] I'm really nervous.

[2:33:49] >> You are.

[2:33:50] >> Um, sometime sometimes people have come

[2:33:54] into my life if I'm doing hobbies or I'm

[2:33:58] doing my volunteer work and I start

[2:34:02] getting a feeling of insecurity

[2:34:05] um like this feeling that I'm going to

[2:34:07] be replaced

[2:34:09] um for whatever the reason. Um, and it's

[2:34:13] a very overwhelming feeling in real time

[2:34:16] even though I have a practice and um,

[2:34:19] but it feels like I'm sinking in

[2:34:21] quicksand. It gets over overwhelming.

[2:34:25] Um, and my question was when you were in

[2:34:28] the presence of Maharaji and his

[2:34:30] devotees and probably a lot of people

[2:34:33] coming and going

[2:34:36] um, and searching for his attention.

[2:34:39] Did you ever have a sec insecurity like

[2:34:41] that or know of people who had

[2:34:44] insecurities like that? And if you did,

[2:34:48] what were some tools you did to overcome

[2:34:51] them?

[2:34:57] Why do you think I tell people not to

[2:34:59] quit their day jobs?

[2:35:01] I don't want any competition.

[2:35:04] I might take my job.

[2:35:08] Uh I don't know. I I mean I don't know

[2:35:11] how to apply that what you one part of

[2:35:14] your question to the Maharaji thing. I

[2:35:15] mean that was

[2:35:17] we we weren't insecure. We would kill

[2:35:19] anybody who got between us and his feet.

[2:35:22] I mean you know

[2:35:24] fighting you know to get there. But that

[2:35:27] wasn't insecurity. It was just lust.

[2:35:31] Lust for the feet

[2:35:35] of the guru.

[2:35:38] And he would just laugh. He would say,

[2:35:40] he'd say, I have the keys to the mind. I

[2:35:43] could turn your minds against me. Ah,

[2:35:46] no, don't do that. You know, he'd say,

[2:35:49] I'll transfer you. Transfer. No, Bob,

[2:35:52] don't do that. And he would laugh. Ah,

[2:35:54] but he did. He transferred every single

[2:35:56] one of us back to America, wherever we

[2:35:59] came from.

[2:36:02] What to do? Um,

[2:36:06] I I don't know what that has to do with

[2:36:08] job security, you know. I'm not quite

[2:36:10] getting that com that connection.

[2:36:14] You want to help me with that?

[2:36:18] It's just a feeling that somebody

[2:36:21] might be better than me,

[2:36:23] >> smarter than me,

[2:36:26] >> um, in my hot, it happens in things that

[2:36:30] I like to do.

[2:36:32] >> Like I like to go scuba diving. If there

[2:36:34] are other people that come along,

[2:36:37] >> there's not enough water.

[2:36:38] >> There's not enough water. [laughter]

[2:36:40] Exactly.

[2:36:42] Um or it's in my I do a lot of volunteer

[2:36:46] work that is

[2:36:47] >> there's always somebody to help. Don't

[2:36:48] worry about it.

[2:36:51] >> You can help me. I need help.

[2:36:53] >> Yeah.

[2:36:55] I just I feel

[2:36:58] I feel replaced. I feel like somebody

[2:37:01] comes along and that spotlight is on

[2:37:05] them

[2:37:07] and I don't find where I fit anymore

[2:37:14] and

[2:37:15] it makes me avoid doing the things that

[2:37:19] I love to do. It makes me avoid doing

[2:37:21] service work because I certainly don't

[2:37:23] want to do service work if it brings

[2:37:27] harm or bring if I bring such a

[2:37:31] a thing to serving people. I don't want

[2:37:34] to do that.

[2:37:37] >> Um

[2:37:41] and I don't I I don't know how to

[2:37:44] overcome it.

[2:38:11] You know, I I really don't know what to

[2:38:13] tell you. I mean, I other than the usual

[2:38:17] thing, you got to have courage. If you

[2:38:20] don't do what you don't want, if you

[2:38:21] don't do what you want to do, then what?

[2:38:22] you know, but there's something in in

[2:38:25] you that's giving you a hard time. It's

[2:38:27] not from the outside. It's, you know,

[2:38:30] some version of yourself that you don't

[2:38:32] like. Um,

[2:38:45] you know, maybe when you get fed up

[2:38:48] enough with yourself, you'll just go out

[2:38:50] and say, "Fuck it. I'm going to do what

[2:38:51] I want.

[2:38:54] just get more fed up. Don't do anything

[2:38:56] for a long time until you're just

[2:38:58] burning with getting out there to help

[2:39:00] somebody.

[2:39:01] >> Well, I started doing my own outreach.

[2:39:04] >> Uhhuh.

[2:39:04] >> Because I couldn't

[2:39:06] >> Mhm.

[2:39:07] >> I couldn't feel like I was in

[2:39:08] competition anymore.

[2:39:10] >> So, I did my own thing because I

[2:39:12] couldn't go a week without doing

[2:39:16] something and serving and connecting

[2:39:18] with people.

[2:39:20] >> Yeah.

[2:39:23] When I first started singing, I mean

[2:39:24] years ago, we would have

[2:39:28] what we call the keran walls.

[2:39:31] You know, everybody was trying to shine

[2:39:35] brighter than the next the person behind

[2:39:37] them. It was terrible. But you just keep

[2:39:39] singing. It all goes away, you know.

[2:39:43] Um

[2:39:52] yeah,

[2:39:56] we all do so much damage to ourselves.

[2:39:59] All of us. None of us really

[2:40:04] are shining as much as we really could

[2:40:06] shine.

[2:40:07] There's so many reasons. Everybody has

[2:40:09] reasons not to shine in a good way.

[2:40:12] shine, you know, for our own self.

[2:40:14] Really, our own doubts about ourselves,

[2:40:16] our own fears

[2:40:20] makes us human. A big deal,

[2:40:24] you know, but you know,

[2:40:31] just really try to listen to yourself

[2:40:34] underneath all that stuff, what you what

[2:40:36] you need to do.

[2:40:38] You know, nobody can tell you what's in

[2:40:41] your heart, but you have to kind of find

[2:40:44] that

[2:40:46] place where it's just you and then you

[2:40:49] don't care about what anybody says or

[2:40:51] how they are. You're doing what you have

[2:40:53] to do, whatever that is. If it means you

[2:40:56] have to go do your own thing, then do

[2:40:58] your own thing.

[2:41:00] But

[2:41:02] at the same time, do we want to be

[2:41:03] pushed around by our stuff all the time,

[2:41:05] you know, and never

[2:41:08] get free of that. So it's

[2:41:12] just keep calming yourself down if you

[2:41:14] can, you know, just you don't have to do

[2:41:16] like practice. Just like chill. Just let

[2:41:20] everything just go.

[2:41:23] Just see [snorts] who you are. See what

[2:41:24] you want.

[2:41:28] you writing your life now. No, but it's

[2:41:30] not every day is new. Every moment is

[2:41:33] new. You're free to do what you want.

[2:41:36] So, you got to find out what that is and

[2:41:39] how you want it to do.

[2:41:52] Of course, on the other hand, it's all

[2:41:54] written already.

[2:41:57] So it just depends how you look at it.

[2:42:09] >> There are people who don't like me.

[2:42:10] Believe it or not,

[2:42:13] can you believe it?

[2:42:16] [laughter]

[2:42:18] I don't give a

[2:42:20] So them,

[2:42:22] you know. So good. Knock yourself out.

[2:42:27] You know who cares.

[2:42:43] >> Hello.

[2:42:45] >> Where are you? How are you?

[2:42:48] >> Uh I I have

[2:42:50] >> It's okay.

[2:42:51] >> So So I think you said three things. You

[2:42:54] said you have to have courage to go

[2:42:56] after what you want.

[2:42:58] >> Mhm.

[2:42:59] >> Don't think about yourself and serve

[2:43:01] others.

[2:43:03] >> And also, you don't do anything. God

[2:43:05] does everything.

[2:43:06] >> Every one of those things is true.

[2:43:09] Good luck. H

[2:43:10] >> how do you how do you reconcile those

[2:43:13] three things?

[2:43:14] >> You don't. You just go ahead.

[2:43:20] >> Yeah. I mean

[2:43:27] those are different levels. They don't

[2:43:29] reconcile on this level.

[2:43:32] On one level there's no one. Nothing

[2:43:36] ever happened. Nothing ever will happen.

[2:43:37] It's all one. Period. There's nobody,

[2:43:40] nothing. And that's true. Then there's

[2:43:43] other levels where you think you are who

[2:43:45] you think you are. And that person has a

[2:43:47] lot to do.

[2:43:49] Then there's another level where

[2:43:50] everything's already done and you're

[2:43:53] just following the script blindly, but

[2:43:55] you think you're doing it. Each level

[2:43:57] has its own relative reality

[2:44:00] and they're true, but you can't uplevel

[2:44:04] in your mind. You think you are who you

[2:44:08] think you are right now. That's who you

[2:44:11] think you are.

[2:44:13] And that's the level of reality we're

[2:44:16] stuck in. On that level we make

[2:44:18] decisions. We need courage. We know all

[2:44:21] kinds of things. We need food. We need

[2:44:23] sleep. We need shelter. We need all

[2:44:25] kinds of things. On that level

[2:44:27] definitely need without those things we

[2:44:28] die. So that's true.

[2:44:32] But on another level which is also

[2:44:36] a a different level of reality. You are

[2:44:39] not who you think you are.

[2:44:42] Not even close. There's no thought

[2:44:44] whatsoever. You are soul.

[2:44:47] You're a being.

[2:44:49] You

[2:44:51] you know there it's a whole other level

[2:44:52] of reality but that's not where we live.

[2:44:54] So on the level you live on level we

[2:44:56] live on we have

[2:44:59] things we need to do. Things need to be

[2:45:01] taken care of. You need to breathe for

[2:45:04] instance. Try living without breathing.

[2:45:07] Very difficult.

[2:45:10] or eating or sleeping or doing various

[2:45:13] other bodily functions with or without

[2:45:15] other people

[2:45:17] difficult. So according to this world,

[2:45:20] the world that we live in, who we think

[2:45:22] we are, there's things we need to do.

[2:45:25] One of those things is to have courage

[2:45:27] and go for what we want in our hearts

[2:45:30] because no one else will give it to us

[2:45:31] if we don't go for it.

[2:45:35] That's the basics of our daily life.

[2:45:41] and

[2:45:42] based but did Maharaji who seemed to be

[2:45:46] living on the same world as us. He was

[2:45:49] in a physical body. I saw him eat

[2:45:54] etc.

[2:45:55] But was he living in the same world as I

[2:45:57] was living? No,

[2:45:59] not even close. But he could be here.

[2:46:03] But his reality was completely

[2:46:05] different. Also true for that reality.

[2:46:08] In a sense, it's more true than this

[2:46:10] one. But this is the one we're stuck in.

[2:46:13] This is the bandwidth we're stuck in. In

[2:46:15] this bandwidth, we have to act a certain

[2:46:17] way. You have to stop at the red and go

[2:46:19] with the green or your history.

[2:46:22] So you have to learn the rules of of

[2:46:25] engagement here. How to do it the best

[2:46:28] way.

[2:46:29] So,

[2:46:32] but you can't sit here and say it's all

[2:46:34] done. There's nothing to do. Then you

[2:46:36] starve to death, right? You you you you

[2:46:40] could say that to yourself, but your

[2:46:42] body will tell you that you better go

[2:46:43] eat something. So, you're forced to

[2:46:45] action. We're impelled to do certain

[2:46:48] things by our hormones, by our bodies,

[2:46:50] by our emotions, and our thoughts.

[2:46:53] That's this world.

[2:46:55] There's nothing wrong with it. It's not

[2:46:57] ultimate reality, but it's where we are.

[2:47:00] So, we have to learn how to navigate

[2:47:01] this in the best way possible,

[2:47:04] which will ultimately lead us

[2:47:08] to real love and real truth.

[2:47:12] So,

[2:47:22] yeah. You don't tell people, oh, your

[2:47:25] suffering is not real. You know, you

[2:47:27] know that's no that's not it's real. It

[2:47:30] may not be

[2:47:34] true. Like one teacher of mine who said

[2:47:38] he was in a plane on the way to

[2:47:39] Kathmandu from Delhi and it flies in

[2:47:41] these valleys right you know like seems

[2:47:44] to be inches away from the mountains of

[2:47:46] the wing t and he was paralyzed with

[2:47:48] fear and he realized wait a minute the

[2:47:50] fear is real I'm feeling it but is it

[2:47:54] true? I mean, did we are we going to hit

[2:47:57] the thing? No. So, there's two things.

[2:48:00] There's real, that's who you think you

[2:48:02] are, and then there's true, which is who

[2:48:04] you really are, which we don't know.

[2:48:07] But we have to honor the feeling of the

[2:48:10] real feelings we have is in this moment.

[2:48:13] That's who we are.

[2:48:25] Hi. Um,

[2:48:28] >> where?

[2:48:30] >> Going back to this idea of attachment.

[2:48:32] >> Wait, jump up and down. I don't know

[2:48:34] where you are. Oh, back there. Okay. Hi.

[2:48:36] >> Hi.

[2:48:37] >> Okay, you can sit now.

[2:48:39] >> Uh, going back to this idea of

[2:48:41] attachment when we fall in love with

[2:48:44] like one person and not another and like

[2:48:46] that's very real experience. So, what is

[2:48:49] that?

[2:48:50] >> Good question. You know, one time I was

[2:48:55] I don't know if I was there or if I

[2:48:56] heard it. Maharaji was sitting with some

[2:48:58] of his old devotees and there was one

[2:49:01] guy there who was absolutely the

[2:49:03] sweetest man that I ever met in my life.

[2:49:06] Just

[2:49:07] extraordinary. And he turned to him and

[2:49:09] he pointed to him. He said, "He was my

[2:49:11] enemy in our last life."

[2:49:15] So we're attracted to people. We don't

[2:49:18] know why.

[2:49:20] One time this this um

[2:49:25] this Buddhist master came out of the

[2:49:27] jungle with some of his disciples

[2:49:30] to beg for food. That's what they did

[2:49:33] once a day. And they're approaching this

[2:49:36] village

[2:49:37] and they they stop and the master smiles

[2:49:41] and his disciple says, "Oh great one, a

[2:49:44] master doesn't smile without a cause.

[2:49:47] What is the cause of that smile?" That's

[2:49:48] the way Buddhists talk.

[2:49:51] thousands of years ago.

[2:49:55] What is the cause of this smile? And so

[2:49:57] the master points to this, he says, "See

[2:50:00] there? What do you see?"

[2:50:02] And the guy says, "Well, I see this hut

[2:50:05] and there's this young woman sitting out

[2:50:07] in front of the hut nursing her baby and

[2:50:10] she's holding a piece of meat and she's

[2:50:13] kicking the dog to keep him away from

[2:50:14] the meat." And he said, "Just so. Just

[2:50:17] so." She's nursing her enemy, eating her

[2:50:21] ex-husband, and kicking her former child

[2:50:23] to keep him away from the meat,

[2:50:27] right?

[2:50:29] The person you attract to could have

[2:50:31] been somebody that you wanted to

[2:50:33] kill last life, you know, and then you

[2:50:35] tripped over him in this life. Oh, hi.

[2:50:38] Yeah, you.

[2:50:41] And that's what we call love. Terrific.

[2:50:47] You never know. You just never know. So,

[2:50:50] you have to pay some attention.

[2:50:53] But it's beyond our pay grade. We just

[2:50:56] do the best we can.

[2:51:01] Well, it's 5:36.

[2:51:04] We were supposed to stop at 5:30.

[2:51:08] So, any more questions?

[2:51:13] No more Indian people.

[2:51:17] They ask all these long questions.

[2:51:24] Okay. Wait, wait, hold the mic. Where's

[2:51:26] the mic? Okay, we're coming there. Go

[2:51:30] ahead.

[2:51:31] >> Yes. So, I had this experience two years

[2:51:34] ago where I was like at my lowest point

[2:51:37] in life and I felt like I was the only

[2:51:39] way I can describe is I was saved by God

[2:51:41] and I felt and I'm not really religious

[2:51:43] but I felt this

[2:51:45] >> God isn't religious either don't worry.

[2:51:47] >> Yeah. I felt that truth where for the

[2:51:49] first time I just truly realized I am

[2:51:51] God and God is love and I am that love

[2:51:54] and it's it was like I was in another

[2:51:57] dimension. And I know knew that so truly

[2:51:59] even though before that I was associated

[2:52:00] with God with religion and I like didn't

[2:52:02] want to touch that

[2:52:04] >> and that led me on a spiritual journey

[2:52:06] over the last two years and really

[2:52:08] opened my heart and my mind um and but I

[2:52:13] I've never felt to that same level of

[2:52:14] depth I felt in that moment. You know I

[2:52:17] can talk about it. I can share this

[2:52:19] experience.

[2:52:20] >> It's a memory now.

[2:52:21] >> Yeah. Exactly.

[2:52:22] >> That's the way it works.

[2:52:23] >> But the question I have is like how do I

[2:52:25] stay there? And

[2:52:26] >> you don't you didn't do it in the first

[2:52:28] place. You think now you're going to do

[2:52:29] it again.

[2:52:31] >> It was a gift. Enjoy it. Do the best you

[2:52:35] can to live according to them. But those

[2:52:38] those hits we get we get for a reason,

[2:52:40] but they don't stay. They don't stay.

[2:52:44] You can't. You didn't do it in the first

[2:52:46] place. Now what are you going to How you

[2:52:48] going to How you going to do it now?

[2:52:50] Surrender. That's what it's called. Give

[2:52:53] up. Just be with it. enjoy.

[2:52:57] Try to

[2:53:01] stay in contact with it as much as you

[2:53:03] can. But you, you know, don't try too

[2:53:06] hard. That'll just it up.

[2:53:09] Just be you live.

[2:53:11] Already your path is different because

[2:53:13] of that. Your life changed because of

[2:53:16] that. So what what do you want to do?

[2:53:18] You're going to micro micro this and

[2:53:20] that. I'm okay. And then 338 and 42

[2:53:23] seconds that happened. And now there's

[2:53:24] 43 seconds of that happen. I'm going to

[2:53:25] do it. I'm going to do it. Just chill,

[2:53:28] relax, breathe, live, be happy or not.

[2:53:34] There's nothing to do. You didn't do

[2:53:37] anything to make it happen the first

[2:53:38] time. What do you think you can do now?

[2:53:42] Right. Except take it easy.

[2:53:46] Is that hard? Yes.

[2:53:49] But good luck.

[2:53:55] Give the mic to somebody else, please.

[2:53:58] [laughter]

[2:54:03] >> Those Indian people over there.

[2:54:04] >> Those Indian people.

[2:54:14] >> Um, I have a request, not a question. Uh

[2:54:17] I'm here with my husband and my

[2:54:19] four-year-old son who has been very well

[2:54:21] behaved throughout this session. Very

[2:54:22] good. Hello.

[2:54:23] >> That's because I promised him that

[2:54:25] there's he's going to see Hanuman Dada

[2:54:27] here and you're going to sing.

[2:54:28] >> But he was turning impatient. He came

[2:54:30] all the way here that why is he not

[2:54:32] singing?

[2:54:33] >> So could you please tell him that you're

[2:54:35] going to sing and that I was not lying

[2:54:38] to him.

[2:54:40] [laughter]

[2:54:42] >> Hi

[2:54:44] somewhere.

[2:54:46] over the rainbow. I just sank. Um,

[2:54:51] boy, what pressure.

[2:54:54] You're not coming tonight. He's He's too

[2:54:57] late. Oh, poor baby. It's too late for

[2:54:59] him tonight, huh?

[2:55:02] >> Okay. He doesn't like attention. So, if

[2:55:05] I got that feeling, please don't look at

[2:55:06] me. [laughter]

[2:55:08] >> But, uh, no, you

[2:55:11] >> go take care of yourself, son.

[2:55:12] >> Yeah. Thank you.

[2:55:22] Oh,

[2:55:25] >> don't you feel it? It's brutal.

[2:55:30] Oh,

[2:55:32] if we could only cry like that for for

[2:55:34] love, we'd be enlightened.

[2:55:41] But we're too cool what to do.

[2:55:45] Okay, just a couple of more.

[2:55:49] >> Okay.

[2:55:52] >> Hi Katie.

[2:55:54] >> Um,

[2:55:57] you said today that it took you 21 years

[2:56:00] from you had that thought of I'll see

[2:56:03] you with people. Um

[2:56:08] and you have shared several times that

[2:56:11] in those 21 years you passed through a

[2:56:13] sort of dark night of the soul with

[2:56:16] addictions and hard stuff. I was

[2:56:19] wondering um I was I grew up in a

[2:56:22] Catholic very conservative macho Latino

[2:56:26] culture where

[2:56:29] um guilt and shame and these sort of

[2:56:33] things were the daily kind of thing that

[2:56:36] we heard when we went to church things

[2:56:38] like that

[2:56:39] >> and in through the years after

[2:56:42] practicing I keep coming back to a sort

[2:56:44] of wall into these things in daily way

[2:56:48] of living with relations, family,

[2:56:50] friends, and kind of um would you say

[2:56:54] like self-sabotaging myself and going

[2:56:56] into this back loop loops of guilt and

[2:57:01] shame. Um can you tell us a little bit

[2:57:04] about your experience with these kind of

[2:57:06] situations when they are longlasting and

[2:57:09] they just feel so hard?

[2:57:12] I I the thing is those are programs that

[2:57:16] are running and you know they're still

[2:57:17] running in you but you're aware of it.

[2:57:20] If you're aware of it it's not the same

[2:57:21] as being completely stuck already. So

[2:57:24] you just stay aware of of that and you

[2:57:27] just keep letting go of it and trying to

[2:57:30] see how you're programmed, you know, and

[2:57:33] just noticing it. You can't stop the

[2:57:35] programs from running. You can just let

[2:57:37] them run. But once you notice them,

[2:57:40] they're very different.

[2:57:42] So you you the will doesn't there's

[2:57:45] nowhere to stop a thought. How do you

[2:57:46] stop it? Where do you you shoot it?

[2:57:48] Where is it? You know, but you can let

[2:57:50] go.

[2:57:52] But you have to there's have to be some

[2:57:54] intention there, you know. You don't

[2:57:56] don't,

[2:57:57] oh, it's just a program that's running

[2:57:59] blah blah blah. No, you have to sit with

[2:58:00] it, really see it clearly,

[2:58:04] and just give it some love. Let it go.

[2:58:07] Release it. And then see the suffering

[2:58:10] of the people who are stuck in that in

[2:58:12] your family that they have no freedom

[2:58:16] from that stuff. It runs their lives

[2:58:18] completely. And then have some gratitude

[2:58:20] that it doesn't run your life

[2:58:22] completely. And that's a good thing to

[2:58:24] do.

[2:58:26] So

[2:58:27] >> thanks.

[2:58:32] Oh,

[2:58:35] >> do we have time for one more?

[2:58:38] >> Yeah. Okay, I'm not picking. Somebody

[2:58:40] pick. I can't tell.

[2:58:45] >> Tell me when.

[2:58:46] >> No.

[2:58:47] >> Okay. Who is it?

[2:58:49] >> KD.

[2:58:50] >> Where are you?

[2:58:51] >> Over here.

[2:58:52] >> Oh, your camera.

[2:58:53] >> Hi. Um, just a question maybe for

[2:58:56] another time. you could just want to ask

[2:58:58] it since I'm here and you could just

[2:59:00] ruminate on it and any Thursday night

[2:59:03] let it come out. Um [clears throat]

[2:59:08] there's a lot of breakdown from CO as

[2:59:12] far as hospital care and people wanting

[2:59:15] to go to work and entitlements and all

[2:59:18] kinds of

[2:59:20] things like that. But one in Washington

[2:59:22] and all in the financial markets is AI

[2:59:25] and deep learning.

[2:59:27] where it seems like the value is let's

[2:59:29] do it quicker, faster, better.

[2:59:32] Artificial intelligence is 8 billion

[2:59:35] times. We can do it faster. We can do

[2:59:37] our homework better. It's a it's a real

[2:59:40] um

[2:59:43] just I feel it everywhere and I hear it

[2:59:44] all the time like more money faster. And

[2:59:48] I think when I heard uh 60 minutes for

[2:59:50] Frontline said that the deep learning

[2:59:52] machines now are capable of not only

[2:59:56] inventing eight eight chess games that

[2:59:59] have never been played or won, but they

[3:00:04] actually can

[3:00:06] figure out what computer parts they need

[3:00:08] to make them even faster and stronger.

[3:00:11] It's and powerful and it scares the

[3:00:15] I mean, it's just it's really

[3:00:16] scary that that now we'll have like

[3:00:20] ionic parts and up. And so just as a

[3:00:24] future

[3:00:25] question not even to be answered now I

[3:00:28] actually prefer you not to just to sit

[3:00:30] on it because you you are wise when you

[3:00:32] when you ruminate on things it really is

[3:00:35] there not that you have an answer but

[3:00:38] the only thing I can do is go to temple

[3:00:40] and in temple

[3:00:42] it's not as important to me AI and how

[3:00:45] the world's going to be changing

[3:00:48] with machines and then they can make

[3:00:50] their own parts and then become deep

[3:00:52] learning. become self

[3:00:54] maintaining like u I forget the

[3:00:57] terminate whatever very scary and and

[3:01:00] I'm wondering

[3:01:02] and kaluga it's like cali really bad

[3:01:04] kali yoga ai kali yoga and deep learning

[3:01:06] kali yoga for the dark side it's very

[3:01:10] it's very scary because I've already

[3:01:11] seen at the hospitals the breakdown

[3:01:14] if they [snorts] can't okay sorry

[3:01:19] Um,

[3:01:30] it's not my world to run.

[3:01:34] All I can do is do the best I can every

[3:01:36] day

[3:01:38] with everything that I come in contact

[3:01:40] with.

[3:01:42] Uh, if the world's going to go to hell,

[3:01:44] what am I going to do about it?

[3:01:47] practice too.

[3:01:49] >> I can't hear you.

[3:01:52] >> Yes. Okay. The question is it's not my I

[3:01:56] don't want to be part of that world. I I

[3:01:58] just rather stay home, watch TV.

[3:01:59] >> Mhm.

[3:02:00] >> Yeah. Be by myself, which is not good

[3:02:02] either. So, is there a practice we can

[3:02:05] do just to help? I don't know. Is I go

[3:02:08] to temple and I take refuge in the

[3:02:10] temple and I go home and we face it

[3:02:12] again back and forth.

[3:02:13] >> That's good. It's good. You get some

[3:02:15] time off from your head.

[3:02:16] >> Exactly. So it just just food for

[3:02:19] thought just to ruminate on it.

[3:02:22] >> Yeah. No, that's we just we're all doing

[3:02:25] the best we can. There's a lot of people

[3:02:28] who for whom that means uh taking

[3:02:31] advantage of everything, you know, and

[3:02:34] hurting many people they can. What are

[3:02:36] we going to do? just do the best we can

[3:02:39] and hopefully that spreads from one

[3:02:42] person to another best we can.

[3:02:49] Where the world's going is above my pay

[3:02:51] grade.

[3:02:53] I'm trying to figure out how I can get

[3:02:55] to the bathroom now before I pee in my

[3:02:56] pants. [laughter]

[3:03:00] >> Can we say good night?

[3:03:03] [applause]

[3:03:10] >> [applause]

[3:03:20] >> That was fun.

Krishna Das
ArtistKrishna Das

American kirtan singer, devotee of Neem Karoli Baba, often called "Yoga's rock star." His chanting of the Name has filled rooms, stadiums, and concert halls for over forty years. A…

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Krishna Das teaches that trying to manufacture an experience through chanting actually blocks genuine transformation. The real work is simply paying attention to what you're doing without expectation. When you stop demanding that the practice make you feel a certain way, you can begin to see the patterns and beliefs that actually run your life.
Das realized that singing alone would never allow him to clear the shadow parts of his heart—the unconscious patterns pushing him around invisibly. Chanting with others creates a container where these hidden parts can surface and be met. The vibration, the heat, the collective intention all work together in ways solitary practice cannot.
Das says noticing your disappointment or restlessness means you're already paying attention—you're watching the mind. Most people never even notice these feelings. The practice isn't about reaching some goal; it's about gradually loosening your belief in the stories you tell about yourself being true.
He's referring to the unconscious beliefs, fears, and patterns we've absorbed since childhood—the programming that runs our reactions and decisions without our awareness. These shadow patterns operate like invisible forces. Chanting in community helps bring them into the light where they can be seen and their grip can loosen.
Krishna Das teaches that you do need guidance, but the guru doesn't have to be a person. It might be the practice itself, a text, or the truth that meets you in a moment of openness. What matters is whether you're willing to receive help and see yourself clearly, not the particular form that help takes.
Because the mind is the instrument creating the doubt. You can't use the same tool that built the prison to escape it. You need something that engages a different layer—like chanting, which works through sound, breath, and vibration rather than thought alone.

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