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Inspiration

Trusting the Unknown: Planting Life's Questions as Seeds

Kaira Jewel Lingo
Kaira Jewel Lingo
Sep 6, 2021
7 min de leitura

De Kaira Jewel Lingo

Assistir · 6

On a Monday morning in early May 2020, a live meditation session opened the way many did that spring: a host named Caroline thanking the viewers who had logged on, one of them from California and another from the west coast of Canada, both up late. Lockdown had flattened ordinary calendars into one long, undifferentiated stretch, and the people on the screen were carrying the same unanswered questions. When would life resume? What would the next diagnosis say? Into that uncertainty stepped Kyra Jewel Lingo, a teacher with fifteen years as a nun in the Plum Village community, with a single theme for the hour: resting back and trusting the unknown. Her talk, delivered as part of a daily sangha session, is less a lecture about uncertainty than a set of instructions for how to stop fighting it, and its central image, a question planted like a seed, is one of the most practical ideas in contemplative teaching.

Leitura · 6 seções

Why does thinking our way through uncertainty make us more anxious?

Lingo begins with an admission that will sound familiar to anyone who has lain awake running scenarios. She describes the questions people brought to her teacher during the question-and-answer periods at Plum Village: whether to change careers, whether to separate from or stay with a partner, whether to ordain, whether to move. Her own answers, she says, often pointed people away from the problem-solving mind. Thinking has a role, she is careful to add, and it can be productive. But when we try to settle a deep life question through pros and cons, the "what if this, but then that might happen" loop, she says, "we get very tired and maybe more confused and more anxious."

The distinction she draws is between the thinking mind and what she calls a deeper part of consciousness. Her claim is that the questions that matter most "can't be resolved at the level of the mind" and need to be entrusted to that deeper layer. This is not mysticism for its own sake; it is a claim about where clarity tends to arrive. Anyone who has finally known what to do after a long period of not knowing will recognize the experience of the answer simply appearing, rather than being assembled from argument.

What is the seed metaphor, and how does it work?

The heart of the talk is a teaching Lingo says she received from her teacher, who would ask people to treat their question as a seed planted in the soil of the mind and then let it rest there. The metaphor has three parts, and each does distinct work.

  • Planting. First you clearly name the question and then entrust it to your own deeper wisdom. The act is one of handing the matter over, not of solving it in the moment.
  • Nourishment. Your daily practice of mindfulness, your awareness in ordinary activities, is the sunshine and water. Lingo's phrase for this is that these are "the best compost," the conditions under which the seed can ripen.
  • Patience. The answer sprouts "on its own in its own time." Lingo is blunt that this "can't be rushed or forced." It can take weeks, months, or years.

The hardest instruction is the simplest. Leave the seed in the soil and stop digging it up. Lingo points out that anyone who has planted something knows you cannot check whether it has roots by pulling it out every afternoon. The impulse to dig, to ask again whether the answer has arrived, is itself the thing that keeps the process from working. Her version of the practice asks us to "let go as much as we can" of worrying about what will happen, and to return, over and over, to calming and coming home to the present moment.

Why is worry such a big obstacle to finding clarity?

Lingo is unusually direct about the emotional mechanics here. The wish to know can turn into insecurity and fear, especially when we feel we must decide quickly and worry that a wrong choice will be catastrophic. She names that pattern, catastrophizing, and calls the fear "a big obstacle." Her recommended move is recognition rather than suppression: "ah, this is worry, this is fear," and then a pause. She is not promising that the fear disappears. She is suggesting that naming it creates a little space between the feeling and the decisions it is trying to make for us.

That space is the real subject of the session. The guided meditation that followed her reflection moved the listener through the body, inviting the face to soften, taking a few deep breaths, and even imagining laying back in a hammock. The aim was not to feel certain. It was to find ease inside not knowing, which is what she means by resting back.

"We can trust that the seed is down there and one day it will sprout up into a clear answer."

Kyra Jewel Lingo, Sangha Live daily meditation talk, May 4, 2020

How do you practice trust when you cannot see the outcome?

The talk's practical core is that trust is a practice, not a feeling you wait for. Lingo describes it as something you do daily: staying with the seed, returning to the breath, coming back to whatever activity you are in. A person who does this does not get the answer faster. They get a different relationship to the waiting, one in which the unknown becomes a place to "hang out" and "get friendly with," her words for learning to stay present with uncertainty instead of resisting it.

This is why the session's framing felt so fitting for its moment. The pandemic had removed the timelines people relied on. Lingo's point was not that the uncertainty would soon end, but that the way we inhabit it is itself a form of practice, and that many of life's hardest questions, not only those raised by a crisis, are of this same kind.

What does the practice look like in daily life?

Several concrete habits follow from the teaching, all drawn directly from what Lingo describes:

  • When a big question arises, name it clearly once, then decide consciously to set it down rather than rehearse it.
  • Notice when you have begun to catastrophize, and label the state as worry or fear before acting on it.
  • Return to the body and the breath as a way of coming home to the present, which she frames as the nourishment the seed needs.
  • Expect the timeline to be longer than you want. Weeks, months, or years are, in her account, normal.
  • Resist the urge to check whether the answer has arrived. Each check is a small pull on the roots.

None of this asks you to stop thinking or to pretend you are untroubled. Lingo keeps returning to the idea that thinking is useful in its place, and that the deepest insight is not produced by it. The skill is knowing when to hand the question over.

Where to go from here

The full session, including the guided meditation and the question-and-answer period that followed, is worth watching if you want to hear Lingo's cadence and the way she meets listeners' questions in real time. Read alongside this piece, it gives you the seed metaphor in its original setting: a lockdown morning, a sangha of strangers across time zones, and a teacher who believed the unknown could be a place to rest. If you take one practice from it, make it the simplest one she offers. Name the question, plant it, and then, when the urge to dig rises, notice it, breathe, and let the seed be.

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Transcript

[0:06] hi everybody welcome um i hope you all

[0:10] had a good weekend it's lucky to be back

[0:12] here monday morning

[0:13] um and we are going to be here

[0:17] um all week is the plan with kyra

[0:20] duolingo who's joining us again so

[0:23] welcome to you again kyra george thanks

[0:25] for joining us again this week thank you

[0:29] um great to see you all logging on and

[0:30] we noticed there were a couple of people

[0:32] um someone from california and someone

[0:34] from the west coast of of canada

[0:37] um who obviously staying up um late at

[0:40] night so uh welcome to you thank you for

[0:43] making the effort to stay up so late

[0:46] um

[0:47] i know some of you would like to know um

[0:50] what's happening with martin we've not

[0:52] actually heard anything since friday so

[0:55] as far as we're aware he is still just

[0:58] resting up at home

[0:59] and recovering

[1:02] so there's not really any any more

[1:04] updates about him but if we do hear

[1:06] anything during the week we'll let you

[1:07] know

[1:08] so um we're here for an hour um we will

[1:12] be starting with

[1:14] 10 or 15 minutes of reflection

[1:17] then going into a guided meditation and

[1:19] then the last 10-15 minutes or so is

[1:21] your opportunity to ask any questions

[1:24] that you might have um if you would like

[1:27] to come on screen and ask a question so

[1:29] it will look much like it does now with

[1:31] both of us on on screen

[1:34] and you're very welcome to do that um

[1:36] just write a message in the sidebar

[1:39] and i can bring you on at a time that

[1:42] seems to make sense assuming the tech

[1:44] all works but i did manage to get

[1:45] somebody

[1:46] excuse me somebody on uh on cavalier

[1:49] morgan session um on friday so it seems

[1:52] to maybe be working a little better at

[1:54] the moment

[1:55] the other way that you can come on

[1:57] screen is to sorry the other way you can

[1:59] ask a question is to put it in writing

[2:01] of course

[2:02] um just use the ask question box

[2:04] underneath the video screen you'll see

[2:06] it says ask a question there if you

[2:07] click on that there's a pop-up box

[2:10] and you can put your question in there

[2:11] encourage you can see those and answer

[2:13] them as they come up

[2:15] i'd also like to mention donations or

[2:18] donna um we rely on your generosity to

[2:21] keep bringing these sessions to you

[2:23] every day

[2:24] um we do have ongoing costs we have to

[2:27] pay

[2:28] for this platform that we're using to

[2:29] bring the session to you

[2:31] and we have to pay for all the software

[2:34] we use

[2:36] to run various aspects of the business

[2:39] we have to pay for our accountant

[2:43] uh

[2:44] we have

[2:45] to pay for the website hosting

[2:48] so there's several ongoing costs that we

[2:50] need to meet um and we can only do this

[2:54] if um

[2:55] people contribute so if you're able to

[2:58] give anything if you can afford to give

[3:00] anything at all

[3:01] we'd be really really grateful um you

[3:04] can donate by using the offer donation

[3:07] slash dharma button which is right

[3:09] underneath the video again there

[3:12] and there'll be a few options presented

[3:13] and presented to you for donation

[3:16] and

[3:18] half of your donation will also go

[3:19] towards supporting kyra jewel

[3:22] so many thank you

[3:24] many thanks in advance for anything that

[3:26] you can give it's very very gratefully

[3:28] received

[3:30] and i'm now going to take myself off and

[3:32] hand you all over to kyra jewel

[3:35] thank you caroline

[3:40] greetings everyone i just want to check

[3:42] that you can hear me all right we we had

[3:45] an echo earlier with just caroline and i

[3:48] is the sound coming in all right

[3:58] great thank you for letting me know

[4:02] thank you

[4:05] so also wanted to

[4:07] uh

[4:08] warmly welcome some friends who are

[4:10] joining from colombo sri lanka today i

[4:13] think that's

[4:14] a first

[4:16] so we're in the same country

[4:20] as i'm calling in from sri lanka also

[4:25] so

[4:26] welcome everyone

[4:28] um

[4:29] today we'll be focusing on

[4:34] the practice of

[4:37] resting back and trusting

[4:39] the unknown

[4:41] um

[4:44] and

[4:47] i think there's a lot of

[4:49] um

[4:50] a lot of us

[4:52] probably all of us are dealing with some

[4:55] measure of uncertainty

[4:58] in this time of pandemic

[5:05] and this can of course

[5:07] be a very uncomfortable place

[5:09] to be when we want to know what's going

[5:12] on and what's going to happen and how

[5:14] things are going to play out

[5:16] [Music]

[5:17] when

[5:18] when

[5:20] when is something going to happen we

[5:22] don't know what's you know

[5:24] not necessarily going back to normal but

[5:28] you know when

[5:29] will our lives resume in some way the

[5:31] way they were

[5:34] so

[5:35] um

[5:38] of course this is also

[5:40] a difficult place to be

[5:43] in our own personal lives

[5:47] in general right when

[5:51] we're waiting to hear back about some

[5:53] diagnosis and we don't know

[5:55] what the

[5:57] what the reality is yet about our health

[5:59] or our loved one's health or

[6:02] you know there's so many ways that we're

[6:05] left in in places of unknown

[6:08] in our daily life

[6:10] you know pandemic or not

[6:14] so it can be um

[6:17] um

[6:20] a place of a lot of

[6:22] fruitful practice to hang out there to

[6:25] learn how to hang out there and get

[6:28] friendly with this

[6:29] [Music]

[6:33] so many of you will know that i

[6:36] spent 15 years as a nun in the plum

[6:38] village community of

[6:41] um tiknot han really called tai

[6:44] which means teacher in vietnamese

[6:49] and often people would

[6:51] bring questions to tai in the question

[6:54] and answer time

[6:56] about

[6:57] what to do facing big life decisions and

[7:01] you know maybe choosing

[7:03] which career path to take or whether to

[7:06] separate or stay with their partner

[7:09] whether to ordain as a monastic

[7:12] whether to move here or move there

[7:16] and i would answer these deep

[7:18] kind of

[7:22] intense life questions

[7:24] often saying

[7:27] it's good not to try to figure this out

[7:30] in our minds

[7:32] through our thinking that our thinking

[7:33] doesn't actually

[7:35] help us to find

[7:37] wisdom and to to really hear the deepest

[7:41] insight that's in us

[7:44] but actually when we think you know pros

[7:46] and cons and what if this and oh but

[7:48] then that might happen or what would i

[7:50] do this way and then this might happen

[7:52] we get very tired and maybe more

[7:54] confused and more anxious

[7:57] it doesn't mean there's no role for

[7:59] thinking thinking can be productive

[8:01] but often when we try to figure

[8:03] something out just through our thinking

[8:05] we we wind up you know tying ourselves

[8:08] up in knots or running in circles

[8:13] so

[8:14] it's also my experience that these

[8:16] deeper life questions and even maybe the

[8:18] questions we're sitting with now in this

[8:20] time of pandemic

[8:22] they can't be um

[8:24] resolved at

[8:26] the level of the mind

[8:30] but they

[8:31] need to be entrusted to a deeper part of

[8:34] our consciousness

[8:37] and so tai when he would be asked these

[8:40] questions

[8:43] would ask people to consider this

[8:46] question as a seed

[8:48] that we plant

[8:50] in the soil of our mind and let it rest

[8:52] there

[8:54] so

[8:57] we we

[9:00] you know

[9:00] assess what the question is

[9:03] and then we entrust it

[9:04] to

[9:05] [Music]

[9:07] our our own deeper wisdom

[9:10] um and then what

[9:12] how we take care of it is through our

[9:15] daily practice of mindfulness

[9:18] our

[9:20] awareness in

[9:21] each of our you know activities

[9:24] that's

[9:26] like the sunshine and the water that

[9:28] nourishes the seed

[9:30] so that one day it will sprout

[9:32] and rise up on its own in its own time

[9:36] and we'll know the answer to our

[9:38] question

[9:39] quite clearly and without any doubt

[9:46] but the challenge is to leave the seed

[9:50] down in the soil of our mind

[9:53] and not keep digging it up to see if

[9:56] it's growing roots and

[9:58] you know if it's

[9:59] coming up yet because it won't grow that

[10:01] way right

[10:03] we know this

[10:06] so it's the same with our troubling

[10:09] you know

[10:10] um

[10:12] very

[10:13] close to our heart

[10:15] big life questions

[10:17] or anything we're just trying to

[10:20] find some

[10:21] uh answer to

[10:23] that's

[10:24] somehow confusing

[10:27] so we ask our deeper consciousness to

[10:29] take care of this

[10:31] seed this question and we let go as much

[10:34] as we can

[10:35] of our thinking on worrying

[10:38] about what will happen

[10:42] and then in our daily lives we

[10:46] come back to this practice of calming

[10:50] resting

[10:51] coming home to ourselves in the present

[10:53] moment

[10:55] and all this is

[10:57] the best compost the best nourishment

[11:01] for this seed to ripen

[11:03] naturally and authentically

[11:09] and this process can't be rushed or

[11:11] forced

[11:13] it can take weeks it can take months it

[11:16] can take years

[11:19] but we can trust that the seed is down

[11:22] there and one day it will sprout up into

[11:25] a clear answer

[11:30] this can be really hard i

[11:33] i know

[11:34] from my own experience

[11:37] because we may really want to know the

[11:39] answer we may need to know the answer

[11:45] we may find ourselves very insecure and

[11:48] fearful if we don't know what to do if

[11:50] we don't know which path to choose

[11:53] and we worry that we may make the wrong

[11:56] choice and we catastrophize

[11:59] what will happen if we

[12:01] if we get it wrong

[12:04] but this kind of worry and fear makes it

[12:07] very hard

[12:08] to find our way it's actually a big

[12:11] obstacle

[12:14] when we notice that we're doing this we

[12:16] can recognize ah this is worry this is

[12:20] fear

[12:22] and stop

[12:23] you know we can notice this isn't going

[12:25] to help me to find my way

[12:28] so we pause

[12:30] can breathe in breathe out

[12:35] returning to this

[12:37] moment and we find some kind of solidity

[12:41] some kind of home inside of us

[12:44] even without knowing the answer we can

[12:46] still find some peace

[12:50] in the present moment

[12:52] and that's what's going to help us find

[12:55] our way

[12:56] is when we come back to our center

[13:01] and

[13:03] if we let the wisdom in us come through

[13:07] which

[13:07] we need to we need all we need to do is

[13:09] return to the present moment in order to

[13:13] make that more accessible

[13:18] then then it will be

[13:19] available to us

[13:21] if we let go of trying to figure out the

[13:23] future in our heads

[13:29] so some years ago

[13:32] i was trying to figure out if i should

[13:34] stay in the monastery or leave

[13:37] after spending

[13:39] pretty much my whole adult life as a nun

[13:42] from age 25 to 40

[13:46] i

[13:47] attended

[13:48] several silent retreats

[13:51] three months

[13:53] silent retreats

[13:54] at the insight meditation society

[13:58] in massachusetts

[14:01] and i did this several years in a row

[14:03] either six weeks or three months

[14:05] it was a really important helpful time

[14:08] that

[14:09] allowed me to come

[14:11] back to myself and

[14:14] just let my own consciousness

[14:17] take its time to find a way

[14:24] so when i decided to ordain when i was

[14:26] 25

[14:28] in my heart i was making a life

[14:30] commitment

[14:33] so it was painful and confusing

[14:36] to

[14:36] find myself questioning this vow that i

[14:39] just assumed would carry me through my

[14:41] whole life

[14:44] and in that time of transition i really

[14:47] was

[14:48] it was very um uncomfortable because i

[14:51] didn't know who i was i was leaving this

[14:55] one identity that had held me for many

[14:59] years it was all i knew and i had no

[15:02] idea what was coming

[15:04] um at times i felt like you know i'm

[15:07] just gonna die if i leave

[15:10] what i know i mean it was that kind of

[15:13] really uh profound fear of the unknown

[15:18] so it was like being in a process of the

[15:20] caterpillar that that dissolves and

[15:23] in the chrysalis and

[15:27] is this soup not knowing what's the

[15:30] next shape it's going to take

[15:33] you know until one day

[15:35] it becomes a butterfly

[15:38] but it was it was terrifying and uh

[15:43] very hard when i really wanted answers

[15:45] and clarity and

[15:47] and i was used to having some kind of

[15:49] ground underneath me that wasn't there

[15:53] so i remember going to the interview

[15:56] with my teacher at that time joseph

[15:58] goldstein was one of my interview

[16:00] teachers

[16:02] and i shared just how distressing it was

[16:04] to not know

[16:07] and and he mentioned alan watts book

[16:11] the wisdom of insecurity i might have

[16:13] mentioned it already

[16:17] on one of our

[16:18] calls

[16:20] but it points out that when we're clear

[16:23] and sure of where we're going what we're

[16:26] doing

[16:27] um there's not the possibility for

[16:29] anything else to come in but if

[16:32] we can be

[16:33] you know if if we are in this place of

[16:35] not knowing anything is possible

[16:39] and so when we let ourselves just rest

[16:41] back and hang out in this space of not

[16:44] knowing

[16:46] there's enormous potential of

[16:49] what could happen life could unfold in

[16:51] innumerable ways

[16:54] so rather than avoid and fear this place

[16:57] of uncertainty we can embrace it we can

[17:01] see it as something precious

[17:05] so my experience on these three month

[17:07] retreats was

[17:11] you know i didn't find an answer to my

[17:14] dilemma of whether to disrobe or

[17:16] continue as a nun but what i did find

[17:19] was the ability to dwell more and more

[17:22] comfortably in the not knowing

[17:27] so i learned to allow the seed of my

[17:30] question

[18:53] can you hear me now

[19:04] great

[19:08] so

[19:09] yes so i learned to

[19:11] allow the seed of my question

[19:14] to rest in the deeper layers of my

[19:16] consciousness

[19:19] i was able to touch joy

[19:22] and well-being

[19:24] in the midst of not knowing in the midst

[19:27] of awkwardness and confusion

[19:31] and i learned to let go of fear and

[19:33] resistance right in the midst of

[19:35] dissolving and losing my identity

[19:43] it was a real practice of surrender

[19:50] so

[19:53] by slowing down and choosing to rest

[19:56] back

[19:57] into the uncertainty rather than

[20:00] fighting it rather than trying to lean

[20:02] in and

[20:03] um

[20:06] you know push into the future

[20:09] i was able to touch a sense of space

[20:12] precisely in moments when it felt like

[20:14] there was no way to keep going and i

[20:16] would be totally overwhelmed

[20:19] so when we can breathe in and breathe

[20:21] out

[20:23] and put our mind completely on our

[20:25] breathing we can create that kind of

[20:27] space inside of us

[20:31] when we slow things down when we let our

[20:34] nervous system recalibrate recenter

[20:39] we can take a very different

[20:41] relationship to what's going on

[20:45] so the external situation may not change

[20:47] there may not be any more security any

[20:49] more ground

[20:51] but inside we've changed and we've found

[20:53] a way to

[20:55] cultivate that for ourselves

[21:01] and so

[21:03] if we can stop if we can come back and

[21:05] rest in what's right here what's right

[21:07] now

[21:08] we have the chance to touch into

[21:10] something deeper than that overwhelm

[21:12] that fear that

[21:13] um insecurity

[21:17] and so this pausing this stopping this

[21:21] coming back it helps it's what helps the

[21:23] seed of our question

[21:26] mature and ripen

[21:28] into the guidance into the direction

[21:30] that we need

[21:36] so

[21:37] we'll do our

[21:38] [Music]

[21:40] we'll get to practice this together

[21:49] so

[21:51] finding a comfortable position

[21:55] whether it's seated or standing or lying

[21:58] down

[22:03] really finding a restful position that

[22:06] also

[22:07] supports you to be present and

[22:13] show up with dignity

[22:22] connect with your body and how it's

[22:24] making contact with whatever you're

[22:28] sitting standing lying on

[22:42] allowing yourself to

[22:44] rest back

[22:46] in some way either

[22:48] in your mind or in your body

[22:51] and begin to feel the support of

[22:53] whatever is holding you

[23:02] breathing in

[23:03] feeling your body

[23:07] breathing out letting your body rest

[23:10] even more

[23:12] into the support of the earth

[23:39] allow your face to soften

[23:43] releasing the forehead

[23:46] the muscles around your eyes

[23:51] letting go in the jaw

[23:52] [Music]

[23:55] letting the tongue rest in the mouth

[24:09] be aware of the shoulders

[24:13] and as you breathe out let the shoulders

[24:15] soften

[24:39] and bring attention to the chest and the

[24:41] belly

[24:43] allowing them to release and soften

[24:48] on the next exhale

[24:58] notice your arms and your hands

[25:03] with the next exhale let them grow a

[25:06] little heavier

[25:08] releasing tension

[25:12] finding ease

[25:23] and then feel your legs and feet

[25:27] and as you exhale release

[25:31] soften

[25:33] let go

[25:52] feel your whole body

[25:54] now as you inhale and exhale

[26:01] allowing the whole body to soften

[26:04] and really release its weight

[26:07] even more onto the earth

[27:08] resting

[27:09] [Music]

[27:12] releasing

[27:17] knowing that the

[27:19] earth has you has your back

[27:29] the earth is really here for you

[27:34] and you can trust

[27:39] that you have this support

[28:16] there's nothing you have to do in this

[28:18] moment

[28:21] there's nowhere else you need to be

[28:29] letting yourself

[28:32] let go of any

[28:35] striving

[28:38] needing to become something else

[28:43] let yourself be just as you are

[28:49] right here right now

[29:10] sensing into that space that's inside

[29:15] of you

[29:28] that

[29:29] groundedness

[29:32] that center

[29:38] i can find

[29:43] i can find itself

[29:46] even when

[29:47] the world outside is

[29:49] not very

[29:52] solid or

[29:55] reliable

[29:58] we don't know what's going to happen

[30:06] open to the possibility that there's

[30:09] something inside of you that

[30:11] can handle that

[30:18] that is

[30:20] rooted

[30:25] and able to be with uncertainty

[30:37] kind of like a cat

[30:39] if it sort of

[30:42] falls from some place high it can land

[30:46] on its feet

[30:48] that ability to

[30:55] to land on your feet

[31:22] so bring to mind whatever

[31:25] question you might be sitting with in

[31:27] this moment or some challenge

[31:31] it may be

[31:33] the question of

[31:35] you know what

[31:37] what is my life gonna be like after

[31:40] the lockdown or after

[31:45] you know

[31:48] after society opens up

[31:50] again

[31:52] whatever might be

[31:55] troubling you or something you're trying

[31:57] to figure out

[32:00] to work with

[32:08] let it arise in your mind

[32:19] and without trying to figure out an

[32:21] answer or a solution

[32:24] right in this moment

[32:27] visualize this question this challenge

[32:31] as a seed

[32:34] that you're entrusting to the soil of

[32:36] your mind

[32:38] down in the depths of your mind

[32:48] and let this seed of your concern

[32:50] of your question

[32:52] of your uncertainty

[32:55] let it lay there peacefully and quietly

[33:00] in this place where you've planted it

[33:17] letting yourself rest back

[33:19] into the unknown

[33:40] while it may be scary to not know

[33:44] there's also infinite possibility here

[34:04] taking a few deep breaths

[34:15] staying connected to your body

[34:35] letting your body continue to settle

[34:37] [Music]

[34:39] and be present

[34:52] as you give the seed permission to take

[34:55] all the time it needs

[34:57] to ripen into an answer

[35:38] trust your own consciousness to show you

[35:41] the way

[35:42] when the time is right

[36:19] let yourself rest

[36:22] let yourself

[36:24] be

[36:32] and if you notice your

[36:34] thinking and worrying and

[36:37] fear kicking in as you try to figure out

[36:41] this

[36:42] difficulty

[36:46] see if you can return to what's here and

[36:49] now

[36:52] your breath

[36:55] your body

[36:59] the sounds around you

[37:04] body sensations

[37:27] there is a space of patience in you

[37:33] let yourself open to that

[37:39] a part of you that's

[37:41] able to trust that has confidence

[37:45] that life

[37:47] will unfold

[37:51] and that you'll know when you need to

[37:53] know

[38:06] almost like you're

[38:08] laying back in a hammock and this

[38:10] hammock is the hammock of trust

[38:14] and it's well secured to two

[38:17] strong trees with strong rope

[38:21] and you can let yourself lay back and

[38:25] swing back and forth

[38:30] in this hammock of trust of patience

[38:34] of confidence

[38:38] it's not up to you right now

[38:41] to figure this out

[38:49] it's gonna figure itself out and let you

[38:52] know

[38:55] see if you can let let go of the need to

[38:58] do it

[38:59] yourself and on any kind of timeline

[39:07] letting this hammock just hold you

[39:16] you will have what you need

[39:18] when you need it

[39:54] connecting with this deep strength

[39:56] inside of you

[39:58] that's able to

[40:01] bear this time of uncertainty

[40:17] that's able to be

[40:21] immensely patient

[40:24] and still

[40:32] a place in you that knows

[40:36] the flower can't be rushed into blooming

[40:41] it blooms in its own time when the

[40:44] conditions are sufficient

[41:10] let yourself rest back into this place

[41:13] of silence of stillness

[41:19] trusting in the inner

[41:22] wisdom

[41:26] that has its own timing

[41:30] so we'll sit quietly for a few minutes

[43:19] some ways down from lao tzu

[43:26] do you have the patience to wait

[43:30] till your mud settles

[43:32] and the water is clear

[43:37] can you remain

[43:39] unmoving till the right action

[43:42] arises by itself

[44:12] i

[44:13] cannot add more days to my life

[44:19] but only more life to each day

[44:24] [Music]

[44:27] i cannot add more days to my life

[44:34] but only more life to each day

[44:39] [Music]

[44:42] lie die

[44:44] die

[44:45] ladder die die did i

[44:48] live

[44:49] [Music]

[44:57] [Music]

[45:03] did

[45:15] so we'll gently begin to transition

[45:23] taking some deep breaths if that's

[45:25] helpful

[45:31] gently opening your eyes if you have

[45:33] them closed

[45:36] whatever stretch you'd like to do that's

[45:39] helpful

[45:41] then we'll come back to

[45:45] the screen

[45:52] and so we have

[45:55] some time for

[45:57] questions for discussion

[46:11] you can

[46:12] share in the chat if you like any

[46:15] reflections on

[46:17] that practice

[46:23] you like to hear the song again okay

[46:26] i'll sing it with you

[46:28] feel free to join in but the words are

[46:33] i cannot add more days to my life

[46:37] but only

[46:38] more life to each day

[46:43] okay

[46:47] i cannot add more days to my life

[46:54] but only more life to each day

[47:01] i cannot add more days to my life

[47:08] but only more life to each day

[47:12] [Music]

[47:15] lie die did i let it die die did i

[47:20] let it die die did i die to die

[47:25] [Music]

[47:27] lie die did i

[47:29] let it die die did i

[47:32] nor did i die did i die to die

[47:52] so

[47:54] you have a question from annie

[47:59] what if when there is uncertainty but a

[48:02] choice has to be made soon

[48:05] do we just be with that decision and

[48:07] relax into it

[48:09] yes very good question

[48:13] so

[48:14] [Music]

[48:16] sometimes we do need to make decisions

[48:22] [Music]

[48:24] but sometimes we have some kind of

[48:27] pressure pushing us to make a decision

[48:32] quicker than

[48:33] is actually needed so it's also

[48:35] important to distinguish when that's

[48:37] happening

[48:39] when we're telling ourselves we don't

[48:40] have time but actually we might have

[48:43] more time

[48:44] [Music]

[48:47] sometimes for instance i'll get an email

[48:50] asking

[48:52] if i can

[48:53] you know do something or am i willing to

[48:57] and it feels like i have to make a

[48:59] decision

[49:00] and sometimes if i

[49:04] if i'm not ready to make a decision i

[49:06] might

[49:09] write back and say you know well when

[49:11] does this when do you need an answer by

[49:14] you know as i might need to weigh in

[49:16] other things in order to make a good

[49:18] decision about what they're asking me

[49:22] and

[49:23] it might be that i can ask for more time

[49:26] if they say oh we need you to make a

[49:28] decision by this friday or something i

[49:30] might say is it possible for me to take

[49:32] the weekend or

[49:33] so so

[49:35] one

[49:36] one place to look is to see is it

[49:38] possible to have more time to make the

[49:40] decision and sometimes it simply isn't

[49:44] and we do need to decide quickly

[49:49] and then

[49:50] you know all of our practice is to

[49:53] support us to have

[49:54] [Music]

[49:57] access to presence access to this

[50:00] place in us that

[50:02] um

[50:02] [Music]

[50:04] is

[50:05] more unperturbed by the

[50:08] the whirling around us so even in the

[50:10] time when we have to act very quickly i

[50:12] mean like

[50:14] times of danger you need to act very

[50:16] quickly you can't sit there and think

[50:18] well you know

[50:19] what should i do you just have to do

[50:21] something

[50:23] but the more we practice the more we

[50:26] befriend our fear

[50:29] and the more we're able to

[50:32] even in times of duress or times we have

[50:35] to make a decision quickly under

[50:36] pressure

[50:38] we can still have access to that clarity

[50:40] and not be

[50:42] pushed by fear or by

[50:44] you know

[50:46] anger or

[50:47] you know not go into reactivity and have

[50:50] our quick decision come out of

[50:52] reactivity but come out of a

[50:55] deeper wisdom

[50:58] so

[51:00] as much as we can even in a a tight spot

[51:03] where we have to decide quickly as much

[51:05] as we can just what you said in your

[51:07] question that sense of

[51:09] finding some place of stability inside

[51:13] that can direct that action

[51:16] that can direct where

[51:18] so we know where our decision is coming

[51:21] from um

[51:24] and it's helpful i find when i'm faced

[51:27] with sometimes like difficult to make

[51:30] decisions is to like

[51:32] check in with what my intention is like

[51:34] where is this if the first thing that

[51:36] comes up is

[51:37] you know no i don't want to do this or

[51:39] yes i want to do that or this is what i

[51:41] should do i try to just check in and be

[51:43] like well where is that coming from is

[51:44] that coming from a place of insecurity

[51:47] is that coming from a place of greed

[51:49] from lack

[51:50] from jealousy

[51:52] from you know

[51:54] being insecure about myself and again

[51:56] it's not always possible with the time

[51:59] to

[51:59] to know where it's coming from but

[52:01] generally my sense is that from my

[52:04] experience

[52:06] when i'm coming from a clear

[52:09] wiser place inside i feel that in my

[52:11] body and there's a settled confident

[52:14] feeling when i

[52:15] am

[52:16] operating and making a decision

[52:19] but if it's coming from a more reactive

[52:21] place my body can feel much more

[52:23] unsettled

[52:25] right so so i think

[52:28] if you can even if you have to make a

[52:30] decision quickly going into your body

[52:32] and really feeling

[52:34] what your body feels can

[52:37] can give a lot of

[52:38] indication

[52:40] of um

[52:41] of the

[52:42] you know whatever whatever way we want

[52:44] to go or where we're coming from in our

[52:48] you know response

[52:49] and that is something that i've

[52:53] found you know other people have helped

[52:55] me with and i've shared the same

[52:57] practice with others that's been helpful

[52:59] for them is

[53:01] when they're thinking of say say you

[53:02] have two options i know it's not always

[53:04] that simple sometimes there's more than

[53:06] two options but you can

[53:08] visualize yourself doing one

[53:12] and notice how your body feels when you

[53:14] picture yourself in that situation

[53:17] as fully as you can

[53:20] and then you visualize yourself in the

[53:21] other alternate you know the other

[53:24] option

[53:26] and you feel what would my body feel

[53:28] like in that situation

[53:30] and sometimes that can give a really

[53:31] clear

[53:33] you know this is what i need to do

[53:34] because the body really responds oh this

[53:36] is what

[53:37] makes most sense

[53:40] so

[53:42] i hope i hope that's i responded to your

[53:44] question annie

[53:47] and then

[53:49] mercedes has a

[53:52] uh

[53:56] i think a request

[53:58] um

[54:02] about uh having the meditations be

[54:04] longer like more like 30 minutes instead

[54:07] of 20.

[54:08] thank you for that feedback and

[54:11] i'm sure we can accommodate that

[54:19] thank you mercedes

[54:27] and this is from sue

[54:29] i've noticed that a lot of a lot more

[54:31] people are using alcohol as a way of

[54:33] managing this uncertainty could you talk

[54:36] a bit about working with the desire to

[54:38] use alcohol

[54:39] because it is effective at easing the

[54:41] fear of uncertainty

[54:43] asking for a friend sure

[54:46] thank you it's a really important

[54:48] question

[54:50] and i think it it is a a very common

[54:55] and probably becoming more common for

[54:57] many of us in these times

[55:01] um

[55:03] so

[55:05] alcohol is a depressant

[55:08] it

[55:11] down regulates

[55:16] and

[55:16] [Music]

[55:18] as i understand it

[55:21] [Music]

[55:24] and so it kind of numbs us and

[55:28] keeps us from feeling that edginess of

[55:30] oh we don't know what's going to happen

[55:32] and that's really uncomfortable

[55:35] and so it can provide you know some

[55:37] relaxation or some

[55:39] diversion you know some

[55:43] not having to feel

[55:46] and

[55:47] uh i think it's important not to judge

[55:50] or blame ourselves or or others if

[55:54] if that's

[55:56] the route that we're taking to handle

[55:58] the

[56:00] the edginess

[56:01] um

[56:04] i think it's important to have

[56:06] compassion for the fact that there is

[56:08] this underlying uneasiness that is

[56:11] there and that

[56:13] that's that's real suffering

[56:16] and so

[56:17] if

[56:18] if we find ourselves or those we love

[56:20] turning to alcohol

[56:22] especially in these times

[56:25] i think it's important to have

[56:27] compassion for the

[56:28] fundamental suffering that's underneath

[56:30] that

[56:32] um

[56:32] [Music]

[56:36] and

[56:38] we need to ask ourselves if we're

[56:40] practitioners

[56:42] is this an effective strategy

[56:45] it works for a time but does it

[56:48] work

[56:50] in a you know

[56:52] comprehensive sense

[56:55] and

[56:57] you know we don't we know alcohol wears

[56:59] off after some hours and

[57:02] and then the uneasiness is still there

[57:04] and and it's important to check out

[57:07] is it even bigger after taking alcohol

[57:11] sometimes the what the strategies we use

[57:14] to

[57:15] medicate ourselves to

[57:18] you know tone down the difficulties of

[57:20] our lives

[57:21] inadvertently end up making those

[57:25] difficulties even worse even more

[57:28] intense

[57:30] because we might do and say things when

[57:32] we're under the influence of alcohol

[57:33] that

[57:34] you know

[57:36] we regret or that we

[57:39] feel badly about

[57:40] after the fact

[57:44] um

[57:46] i'm aware you know many people

[57:48] are

[57:50] capable of drinking in moderation and

[57:53] uh and they may you know be very

[57:58] at ease with taking a drink or

[58:01] or so

[58:02] um

[58:04] and for them it doesn't affect their

[58:06] behavior

[58:08] but

[58:08] as it becomes a habit we also know that

[58:11] the more

[58:12] you do it the more you need in order to

[58:15] have the same effect

[58:17] so

[58:19] you know

[58:20] if it's every day after a few weeks you

[58:24] may need two drinks to have the same

[58:26] effect that one drink had

[58:29] so all that's important to just

[58:31] investigate like does this really work

[58:34] to help

[58:35] am i am i you know whatever reason i'm

[58:37] taking it for to help with this

[58:39] uncertainty does it really actually make

[58:41] me more able to be with the uncertainty

[58:45] not just while i'm drinking but after

[58:48] i'm no longer drinking and if not if we

[58:51] find that that's not the case then it

[58:53] might be good to inquire well what are

[58:55] some other ways that i could

[58:57] hang out with this uncertainty that

[58:59] might be more effective than drinking

[59:04] and um you know

[59:07] i think if if people drink

[59:10] mindfully and and it's you know in a

[59:13] wholesome

[59:15] social context of connecting with others

[59:18] and it's not to avoid something else

[59:21] you know that's a different thing

[59:23] um

[59:26] there are those situations that uh that

[59:29] could could happen but if we know we're

[59:33] taking alcohol to avoid a particular

[59:35] experience

[59:37] um

[59:37] [Music]

[59:38] it doesn't genu generally tend to really

[59:41] address the ultimate underlying reason

[59:44] why we're going to drink anyway from you

[59:47] know from the beginning so

[59:49] so let's look at how to really

[59:52] address the root of our suffering

[59:56] and

[59:56] and it's possible to

[59:59] to turn toward the uncertainty rather

[1:00:02] than to try to get away from it by

[1:00:04] distracting ourselves or numbing

[1:00:06] ourselves through drink

[1:00:08] it's possible to

[1:00:10] [Music]

[1:00:12] bring

[1:00:13] curiosity and tenderness and care

[1:00:16] through our uncertainty

[1:00:18] as we did in this meditation

[1:00:22] and that's actually the way to address

[1:00:25] it

[1:00:26] at its root

[1:00:28] and i mentioned this i think

[1:00:30] last week i i had was listening to a

[1:00:33] talk by john mccransky

[1:00:36] who's offering a course at the buddhist

[1:00:38] the berry center for buddhist studies

[1:00:40] and he was saying that

[1:00:45] the

[1:00:46] the root of all fear

[1:00:49] is the fear of our own emotions

[1:00:52] and if we can learn to be with our

[1:00:54] emotions

[1:00:56] we

[1:00:57] can move through all of our fear

[1:01:00] so the opportunity to practice with

[1:01:04] uncertainty is

[1:01:07] very precious if we can turn toward it

[1:01:10] we can

[1:01:10] [Music]

[1:01:11] you know

[1:01:13] we can find liberation

[1:01:15] from all suffering

[1:01:19] so

[1:01:23] um

[1:01:29] i think i have addressed all the

[1:01:30] questions so

[1:01:32] thank you all so much for coming to

[1:01:34] practice today and

[1:01:37] joining us from all the different places

[1:01:39] you've joined us from

[1:01:42] and uh

[1:01:43] i really appreciate the depth of the

[1:01:45] questions and

[1:01:47] very much appreciate your practice

[1:01:50] so we'll see each other again hopefully

[1:01:53] tomorrow or

[1:01:55] sometime this week

[1:01:57] be well

Kaira Jewel Lingo
ArtistKaira Jewel Lingo

Kaira Jewel Lingo guides people to transform and heal through embodied presence, stillness and play, weaving Buddhist meditation with racial, climate and social justice.

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UncertaintyTrusting-the-unknownSeed-metaphorMindfulnessKyra-jewel-lingo

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In Kyra Jewel Lingo's 2020 talk, trusting the unknown means entrusting difficult life questions to a deeper part of consciousness instead of trying to solve them through anxious, repetitive thinking. You keep practicing mindfulness in daily life and allow the answer to arrive in its own time.
Lingo describes planting a question like a seed in the soil of the mind and letting it rest there. Daily mindfulness acts as the sunshine and water, and the answer sprouts naturally, which can take weeks, months, or years.
Lingo says that when we try to work out pros and cons through thinking alone, we tend to get tired, more confused, and more anxious. She argues that deep life questions can't be resolved at the level of the mind and need a different kind of attention.
Lingo advises leaving the seed in the soil rather than repeatedly checking whether it has rooted. When you notice the urge to check, you return to calming and being present in the moment, letting go as much as you can of worry about the outcome.
It is a May 4, 2020 talk given during a daily Sangha Live session during the pandemic lockdown, followed by a guided meditation and a question-and-answer period. Lingo focuses on how to hold uncertainty with ease rather than fear.
Lingo suggests recognizing worry and fear when they arise, naming them as worry or fear, and then returning to the body and breath. This creates space between the feeling and the urge to make immediate decisions, and she frames uncertainty as a place to learn to stay present.

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