What is Men’s Circles?
Men’s Circles are facilitated gatherings where men convene—typically in groups of 3 to 10—to speak honestly about their lives, emotions, and challenges in a confidential container held by shared agreements. Participants sit in a circular formation (physically or virtually), taking turns sharing while others listen without cross-talk, advice-giving, or judgment. The practice emphasizes emotional literacy, vulnerability, and accountability, distinguishing itself from casual male bonding by creating intentional space for psychological and emotional work.
Origins & Lineage
Men have gathered in circles across indigenous cultures for millennia, using the formation for counsel, initiation, and ceremonial purposes. The contemporary men’s circle movement has two primary lineages: the mythopoetic men’s movement and indigenous peacemaking circles.
The mythopoetic movement emerged in the United States during the early 1980s through the 1990s, led by poet Robert Bly, whose 1990 book Iron John: A Book About Men spent 62 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. The term “mythopoetic” was coined by professor Shepherd Bliss to describe work inspired by Jungian psychology, Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, and the use of myth and fairy tale to interpret masculine identity. Bly and colleagues including James Hillman, Michael Meade, and Robert Moore facilitated wilderness retreats incorporating drumming, storytelling, and ritual to help men access what they called the “deep masculine” or “Wild Man”—a pre-industrial masculine essence they believed had been suppressed by modern industrial life and the separation of fathers from family.
In the late 1980s, psychologist Bill Kauth founded the Mankind Project (MKP), which formalized weekend initiatory experiences followed by ongoing “Integration Groups” or “I-Groups.” The Mankind Project has grown to nearly 60,000 men worldwide and continues today.
A parallel lineage emerged in the 1990s when First Nations communities in Canada—including the Hollow Water First Nation and the Carcross-Tagish and Dahka T’lingit First Nations in Yukon—began teaching circle practices to non-Native people as alternatives to mass incarceration. These restorative justice circles, rooted in indigenous talking circle traditions, were adapted for conflict resolution, schools, and community healing.
The modern men’s circle format synthesizes these streams: the mythopoetic emphasis on male initiation and emotional development combined with indigenous circle methodology emphasizing equality, witness, and the talking piece.
How It’s Practiced
A typical men’s circle session lasts 90 to 120 minutes and follows a consistent structure. Men gather in a closed, confidential space—a private room, outdoor setting by a fire, or video conference platform. Sessions generally include:
Opening/Arrival: A moment of silence, breath work, grounding meditation, or physical exercise to transition participants from daily life into presence.
Agreements: Facilitators review ground rules including confidentiality, sobriety, non-judgment, no cross-talk, active listening, use of “I” statements, and the right to pass.
Check-In: Each man shares briefly (1-3 minutes) where he is—emotionally, physically, mentally—offering a snapshot of his current state.
Embodiment Practice: Breathing exercises, movement, or meditation to help men drop from intellect into body awareness.
Sharing Rounds: The core of the practice. Men take turns speaking (typically 5-10 minutes each) while others listen without interruption. Topics range from relationships, fatherhood, and work to anger, fear, sexuality, purpose, and loss. Some circles use a talking piece passed around the circle; others follow a structured rotation.
Feedback (optional): After a man shares, others may offer reflections—not advice, but mirroring what they heard, naming patterns, or asking clarifying questions.
Closing: Gratitude expressions, acknowledgments, silence, or a closing ritual to mark the end of the container.
Some circles are topic-specific (divorce, addiction, cancer); others are open-format. Some meet weekly or biweekly; others gather monthly. Retreat-based circles combine multi-day immersions with outdoor settings and may include physical challenge, ceremony, or rites of passage.
Men’s Circles Today
Contemporary men’s circles exist in multiple formats. Organizations like the Mankind Project, Sacred Sons, and Men’s Circle (UK) offer facilitated groups both online and in-person. Independent circles are found in community centers, churches, therapy offices, and private homes. The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated online circles via platforms like Zoom, increasing accessibility for men in remote areas or those seeking anonymity.
Men typically encounter circles through word-of-mouth, therapist referrals, social media, weekend retreats, or searches for “men’s groups near me.” Some organizations offer facilitator training programs (typically 6-week courses followed by supervised practice) for men who wish to start their own circles. Costs range from free peer-led circles to subscription models ($10-50 per session) to high-commitment annual groups ($3,000+).
The practice has gained traction amid rising male suicide rates, social isolation, and cultural conversations about masculinity. Research interest is emerging, with some groups designing studies on outcomes.
Common Misconceptions
Men’s circles are not therapy, though they may be therapeutic. Facilitators are typically trained in circle methodology but are not licensed therapists; the format is peer-based rather than clinical.
They are not anti-feminist or a return to patriarchal values. While the mythopoetic movement faced criticism in the 1990s for perceived essentialism and reaction to feminism, contemporary circles generally frame masculine development as complementary to—not opposed to—gender equity. Bly himself stated, “Male initiation doesn’t move towards machoism.”
They are not inherently spiritual or “woo”. While some circles incorporate ritual, myth, and ceremony, many use secular, evidence-based frameworks from psychology, men’s studies, and group facilitation. As one UK facilitator notes: “no humming, drumming, or crystals.”
They are not exclusive social clubs. The emphasis is on vulnerability, growth, and emotional honesty—not networking, sports talk, or superficial bonding over alcohol and cars.
How to Begin
To experience a men’s circle, search for local or online offerings through the Mankind Project (mkpusa.org), Sacred Sons, Men’s Circle (menscircle.club), or community bulletin boards. Many offer drop-in or trial sessions.
For self-study, begin with Robert Bly’s Iron John: A Book About Men (1990) and King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette (1991), which provide mythopoetic frameworks. Bill Kauth’s A Circle of Men offers practical guidance on forming groups.
To start a circle, invite 3-8 men you trust, establish a regular schedule (biweekly or monthly), choose a private location, and agree on ground rules. Keep structure simple initially: opening silence, check-in round, open sharing, closing gratitude. Consistency and confidentiality matter more than elaborate ritual.