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Inspire

Held10: The Upright Piano Album Made for a Dog's Sleep

East Forest
East Forest
Oct 9, 2026
10 min de lecture
À regarder · 7

Held10 is a ten-year remaster and reimagining of East Forest's 2016 album Held, and the story behind it is stranger and more tender than a tenth-anniversary reissue usually carries. The record was tracked in a Portland, Oregon living room on a Charles Walter upright that the musician found through a Craigslist search and collected from a storage locker, in the middle of a divorce. A lab mix named Kaya slept through many of the sessions and can be heard in the background of several songs. A decade later, the album became the soundtrack to Kaya's passing, a synchronicity East Forest calls one of the biggest of his life. What follows traces that arc from the piano to the microphones to the quiet music built to make a listener feel held, and to the reissue that carries it forward.

Lecture · 7 sections

How did a storage-locker piano start an album?

Ten years ago, East Forest was living in Portland, and by his own account it was a hard year. He had been with his partner, Karina, since they were very young, and by 2016 the relationship was ending. He describes the period without dwelling on the details, but he is clear about its weight: a shift of that kind reaches into every part of a life.

In that season he began wanting a piano. He did not have one, and the timing made little sense. He admits as much, noting that a part of him sensed his living situation was about to change and that buying a large object was the opposite of what a person in transition should do. Still, the impulse held. [3:12] He had been listening to a wave of piano recordings at the time, much of it neoclassical and modern classical, and he wanted an instrument of his own to work with.

The search itself is a small lesson in how instruments get valued. Upright pianos on the used market run from the nearly worthless to the merely serviceable, and buyers often shop for price rather than tone. He was after something better. He found Charles Walter, a brand he had not known before, whose uprights he understood to still be made in the United States, in the Midwest, by a family business. He describes them as professional-grade instruments with heavier construction, a bigger pin block, and a longer soundboard, and he noticed that few of them turned up used because most buyers moved up to a baby grand before they reached that tier.

He checked Craigslist, which he notes was the place to look before Facebook Marketplace took over. A Charles Walter in Portland popped up. The seller would not reply to his messages, so he kept searching and settled on a different used piano, then changed course the night before he was to buy it. The seller finally wrote back. [6:22] The next morning he met the seller at a storage locker, where the only thing inside was the piano, sitting in the middle of the space. It was out of tune and cold. He bought it anyway, had it moved to his house, and had it tuned.

"I wanted something simple and intimate. I wanted to climb into the music and feel held."

East Forest, description for the Held10 video, YouTube, 2026

How do you record a piano with a few microphones in a living room?

East Forest had never recorded a piano before, and he approached the job the way a self-taught engineer does: by trying placements until the sound was right. He set up four microphones. Two small condensers sat on the side of the instrument, a large condenser sat low beneath it, and another large condenser went in the middle, after the wood was taken off the soundboard so the mic could get in close. [7:13] He fed them through an old Apogee Ensemble interface, using its preamps and converters, and monitored on headphones.

The microphone plan matters because it explains the sound of the record. A piano is not one source. The hammers striking strings, the wood of the soundboard resonating, and the body of the case all radiate at different points, and each microphone hears a different mix of them. Close placements capture attack and the detail of each key's touch; distant or low placements catch the bloom of the soundboard and the room. East Forest was building a picture of the instrument from several angles at once, in a room that was not designed for recording.

The approach also reflected what he was trying to do musically. He was not chasing a concert-hall sound. He wanted to hear the small things, the depression of a key and the way a note settled, and he wanted them close enough to feel like a whisper in the ear. Playing quietly and amplifying that quiet through headphones turned a modest upright into something intimate. The result is a piano album in which the room is audible and the listener is positioned as a near neighbor to the player.

What was the music supposed to do for the person making it?

Looking back, East Forest links the record directly to what he was going through. He sensed that his life was changing in ways he did not yet understand, and he felt a need that music could answer. [7:43] His description of that need is one of the most useful things in the video for anyone who makes or listens to quiet music.

"I needed to feel held, like I needed to feel held by something inside, like a kind of strength or a sort of tenderness."

East Forest, video transcript, Held10 release, 2026

He describes the record's pieces as small beds, short phrases laid down and then built on, rather than sweeping compositions. That approach keeps the music from demanding attention. It holds a space, and it does so through repetition and softness rather than drama. For a listener in grief or upheaval, that is the practical difference between music that asks you to feel something and music that lets you stay where you are.

This is also why the record has lasted. Its emotional logic does not depend on a particular year or a particular breakup. It depends on the physical experience of a quiet instrument played close, which is why it could later carry a meaning its maker had not planned for when he recorded it.

Why is a dog named Kaya on the record?

Kaya was a lab mix who came into East Forest's life when she was a puppy. He recalls that she did not stay out of the room while he played. [9:13] She was present for the sessions, and the description of the album notes that she is on several of the songs, "doing her thing in the background." The detail that stays with you is simple: she used to sleep while he played.

That image is worth sitting with. Much of the music business is built around attention, and a piano record made in a living room is an unusually private act. Here the most constant listener was a dog, drifting off. The sleeping dog and the quiet music were part of the same domestic life, the kind of ordinary companionship that rarely makes it into a record's liner notes.

How did a 2016 album become the soundtrack to a loss?

The story turns on a later moment. Years after the record was made, Kaya was anxious in a way that needed soothing, and East Forest played the album for her. [23:32] It helped her settle, and the music that had once been the backdrop to her sleep became the thing that calmed her in distress.

Then, much later, the album became the soundtrack to her passing. East Forest describes this as one of the biggest synchronicities of his life, and it is the reason he decided to reissue the record and tell the full story behind it.

"Many years later, this album was the soundtrack to her passing. It was one of the biggest synchronicities of my life. I dedicate this album to Kaya."

East Forest, description for the Held10 video, YouTube, 2026

It is worth being careful about what the story does and does not claim. East Forest describes the sequence of events and the meaning he has taken from them. The video does not frame it as a prediction or a miracle in any formal sense, though the title uses the word. What it offers is a sequence: a piano bought in a moment of change, an album made to feel held, a dog who fell asleep to it, and a later loss that the same music accompanied.

What changed when Held was reissued as Held10?

The reissue is not a simple repress. East Forest went back to the original sessions, remixed the material, and had it remastered with a mastering engineer. He also gathered B-sides from the same sessions, remastered those too, and found a few previously unreleased pieces that he had not included before. Some of those B-sides appear on the vinyl edition, and the full set is part of the digital release.

The physical edition is a limited run of 500 copies, gold foil stamped and individually numbered, and it can be pre-ordered now. The reissue also ties into live performance. The song "Doorway" from Held is the basis for a European tour, with dates in Lisbon, Munich, and Warsaw in November 2026, and February 2027 shows in Dublin, Bristol, London, Stockholm, Zürich, Berlin, Zagreb, and Lithuania. Those dates tell you something about how the record is meant to live: not only as a document of one winter in Portland, but as music that is still being played for people in rooms.

The reissue, then, is an argument that a small album can carry a long life. A piano bought from a storage locker, recorded with four microphones in a living room, and played quietly so the player could feel held, has now outlasted the circumstances that produced it, and it carries a dog's sleep inside it.

Where to go from here

  • Listen to Held10 on Spotify, Apple Music, or Bandcamp.
  • Pre-order the limited-edition vinyl, 500 copies, through the East Forest store.
  • Watch the film Music for Mushrooms at musicformushrooms.com.
  • Explore the Journey Toolkit to go deeper into the work.
  • Find tour dates and tickets at eastforest.org/tickets, and sign up at eastforest.org for event news and private offerings.

If you are a musician, start with the method: find an instrument you can afford, learn where a few microphones want to sit, and play quietly enough that the details come through. If you are a listener, the most useful thing to take from the Held10 story is its simplest image, a dog asleep while someone plays the piano in a living room. Music made that way is not trying to impress anyone. It is trying to hold.

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Transcript

[0:02] Hey [music] friends, welcome to this

[0:03] edition of the 10 laws podcast with East

[0:05] Forest. I am [music] said East Forest

[0:09] and this week we are celebrating the

[0:11] release of Held [music] 10. Held is Held

[0:15] 10 is the remaster reimagining rework of

[0:19] my album Held that was originally

[0:21] released in [music] 2016. So, it's been

[0:24] 10 years, which is kind of crazy to

[0:26] think about, and I wanted to get it out

[0:28] there again, but reinvent it a bit. So,

[0:31] there's a whole uh new vinyl pressing of

[0:34] the Held 10 album that's coming out soon

[0:36] that's limited edition, 500 copies. It's

[0:39] gold foil stamped and with little

[0:40] numbers on each one. Uh so, you can

[0:43] pre-order that now. And uh the album

[0:46] itself, I went back to the original

[0:48] sessions and and remixed it and then

[0:51] remastered it with Taylor Dupri and also

[0:54] put on some bides from the original

[0:57] sessions. Um remastered those as well

[1:00] and found a few new ones that were

[1:02] unearthed that I I hadn't included at

[1:04] all. So all that will be part of the

[1:06] digital release and a few of those bides

[1:08] are on the vinyl the vinyl as well. Um,

[1:11] I did want to let you know that the

[1:14] Doorway tour, so that's kind of related

[1:17] to Held because there's a there's a song

[1:18] on the Held album called Doorway, that's

[1:21] coming to Europe in November and in

[1:24] February. So, I'm going to be in Lisbon,

[1:27] in Munich, and in Warsaw really soon in

[1:31] November. So, thanks for getting your

[1:32] tickets. And tickets are also on sale

[1:34] for all of the February

[1:36] European dates. And I'm looking forward

[1:39] to to coming back and playing some of

[1:42] these songs and uh in addition to

[1:45] reinventing a lot of the classic songs

[1:47] and all the special things we can do

[1:49] when we we come together.

[1:52] So I want to tell you some stories from

[1:57] you know from this moment in time and

[2:00] you what what it was like making this

[2:02] record and why I'm I'm re-releasing it.

[2:04] And there's a really special, really

[2:06] special synchronicity that happened over

[2:11] almost 10 years, which has just been

[2:13] blowing my mind. And I wanted to honor

[2:15] it by bringing this album back to you.

[2:18] But you wouldn't know this story unless

[2:20] I told it to you. So I was going to do

[2:23] that for you. Now,

[2:25] um, it starts with imagining in 2016.

[2:28] Can we take ourselves back to 2016? For

[2:32] myself, I was living in Portland, Oregon

[2:34] at the time, and it was uh a different a

[2:38] different lifetime it feels like. You

[2:40] know, now I'm in Boisee, Idaho with

[2:42] Rada, and right now I'm here in Utah in

[2:45] my uh off-grid home. This is the

[2:47] off-grid studio, solar powered, coming

[2:50] to you down here. But at the time, I was

[2:52] living in Portland, and 2016 was a tough

[2:56] time. I I had been with my previous

[2:58] partner Karina for you know probably at

[3:02] that point almost 15 years and we were

[3:05] you know looking back I know what was

[3:07] going on but we were going through a

[3:09] divorce and going through that sort of

[3:12] breakdown. We we met when we were really

[3:14] young. I was 23, she was probably 21 and

[3:19] um almost 15 years had passed. And

[3:22] without going into the whole story of

[3:23] course of like what happens in that sort

[3:25] of change and breakdown and transition

[3:27] in a relationship, it's you know it's

[3:29] profound thing. It's a big deal. It

[3:33] affects all aspects of your life. And

[3:36] in that time like I

[3:39] for some reason had it in my head that I

[3:41] wanted to get a piano. I didn't have a

[3:43] piano, like a real piano, an acoustic

[3:45] piano. And a piano is sort of like some

[3:49] people think of it as like this big dead

[3:50] weight because once you buy one, it's

[3:52] this heavy thing that's difficult to

[3:54] move, let alone tune. And it's a like a

[3:57] ball and chain around you, you know,

[3:59] once you have one because you got to

[4:00] figure out what to do with it.

[4:02] In some ways, even though I sensed my

[4:04] life was in coming to a transition,

[4:08] uh maybe there's a part of me that knew

[4:11] like, are you still going to be living

[4:12] here? And you know, it didn't maybe make

[4:14] sense to acquire new objects like a

[4:16] piano, but a part of me really felt like

[4:19] I wanted to or needed to.

[4:22] And so I started looking for upright

[4:24] pianos. Um, I had been inspired at that

[4:27] time by some other artists and musicians

[4:30] who were, you know, piano piano albums

[4:33] and piano recordings were kind of going

[4:35] through a moment at that time. There was

[4:36] a lot of neocclassical, modern classical

[4:39] piano stuff happening.

[4:41] So, I started looking around. I started

[4:43] going to like piano stores and I I

[4:45] quickly realized that there, you know,

[4:47] the different kinds of pianos that are

[4:48] out there. There's a lot of uprights,

[4:50] right? a lot of pretty crappy ones that

[4:52] are used or almost free, but I wanted

[4:54] something that sounded pretty good. And

[4:56] I found this brand of piano called

[4:58] Charles Walter that I I didn't know

[5:01] previously, but Charles Walter pianos

[5:02] are still made in the United States, I

[5:05] believe, in the Midwest. Uh it's a

[5:07] family business and they're just sort of

[5:09] considered like professional uprights,

[5:11] you know, just they're they're stronger,

[5:14] bigger pin block, a little longer uh you

[5:18] know, soundboard, just really well made.

[5:21] And they're about my price range, new,

[5:24] you know, you don't see a lot of them on

[5:26] the used market because they're

[5:28] expensive compared to other uprightes.

[5:30] And if you're going to start spending

[5:31] more money, most people are like they're

[5:32] going to get a baby grand or something

[5:34] like that. So it doesn't make a lot of

[5:35] people don't prioritize when they're

[5:37] getting an upright like a really fine

[5:39] instrument or a great sound. They're

[5:41] probably thinking like they want

[5:43] something economical

[5:45] or that can like their their their kid

[5:47] can can learn piano on that kind of

[5:48] thing. So I was looking for pianos and I

[5:52] started looking on Craigslist. That was

[5:54] a thing at the time before Facebook

[5:56] Marketplace.

[5:58] Uh and I was looking for a Charles

[6:00] Walter and I couldn't really find one.

[6:02] Um, but eventually one did pop up and it

[6:06] was in Portland. So, I thought this was

[6:08] like a sign from God. I was like, I got

[6:10] to have I got to check out this piano.

[6:12] And I wrote the guy, but he wouldn't

[6:15] write me back. So, I just I kept

[6:17] hammering him, but he he wouldn't write

[6:19] me back. So, I kept the search on and I

[6:22] found some other used ones that I kind

[6:23] of liked, but not really. And

[6:25] eventually, I actually settled on one. I

[6:26] was like, I think I'll buy this one. And

[6:29] it was like the night before I was going

[6:30] to go buy this other piano from this

[6:32] used piano store. And the guy finally

[6:34] wrote me back about this Charles Walter

[6:36] piano and I said, "Can I come tomorrow

[6:37] morning, take a look at it, I met him in

[6:40] the morning at a storage locker and he

[6:42] opens up this storage locker and like

[6:43] the only thing in it is the piano just

[6:45] sitting there in the middle." And it was

[6:47] out of tune and it was cold, but I just

[6:49] decided to go for it. I was like, I'll

[6:51] take it. I got a great price. I bought

[6:52] the piano, had it moved to my house, had

[6:55] it tuned and there it was. this this

[6:58] Charles Walter piano in my house

[7:01] and I wanted to record uh but I didn't

[7:04] know I'd never recorded a piano before

[7:07] and so I uh I put I think I put like

[7:10] four mics on it, two close mics, small

[7:13] condensers on the side, maybe a large

[7:15] condenser down below. I took the the

[7:19] wood off on the soundboard and another

[7:21] large condenser in the middle. I had an

[7:23] old Apogee ensemble interface. I just

[7:27] use those preamps and it has good

[7:29] converters and that's what I recorded

[7:31] on. Put headphones on and it was in my

[7:34] living room

[7:35] and I think the music I really needed to

[7:37] record at that time was something that

[7:41] like I was all this stuff was going on

[7:43] in my life and it was felt like a lot of

[7:45] change and was stressful and it felt in

[7:48] somewhat like immature and I don't even

[7:50] want to say that with any judgment like

[7:52] it just felt immature to me. this I was

[7:54] coming into a kind of maturity that I

[7:56] didn't even know yet. And I needed to

[7:58] feel held like I needed to feel

[8:03] held by something inside like a kind of

[8:06] strength or a sort of tenderness. And I

[8:08] didn't quite know what that was. But

[8:12] the way I would enter into that

[8:14] musically was to play music that was

[8:16] very quiet and played tenderly and

[8:19] quietly but amplified enough that in my

[8:22] headphones like I could hear all the

[8:24] details of the subtlety of those

[8:29] depressions of the keys and the tones.

[8:32] So played quietly but brought right up

[8:35] to you. So it felt very intimate. You

[8:37] know the microphones are right in the

[8:39] piano.

[8:40] And I started exploring layering

[8:42] different sounds with the piano, like

[8:45] creating little beds and then playing

[8:46] over that and just doing different

[8:48] experimentations. And all the time it

[8:51] became almost like this little

[8:52] meditative practice for me. I um you

[8:56] know would sit down once a day in the

[8:58] late morning and record a few ideas like

[9:01] I'd come little improvisations

[9:03] and then develop them out on the spot

[9:05] and just record them. And the whole time

[9:08] I was recording, my dog was there. I had

[9:10] a my first dog, Kaa.

[9:13] Kaa was a lab mix. I mean, one of the we

[9:16] did one of those like Costco,

[9:18] you know, $30 genetic tests, which you

[9:20] never know if they're true, but they

[9:22] told us she was a blend of lab and

[9:24] German Shepherd and Korean Dogo. No,

[9:27] Jindo and Dogo. You know, she was a mut.

[9:31] We got her when she was like six months

[9:32] old and it was my first dog. And and

[9:36] Kaia was a was a tough dog, like a

[9:38] strong, very alpha,

[9:41] a strong willed dog. I always thought

[9:43] when she was a puppy, I was like, well,

[9:44] eventually she'll grow out of this. And

[9:45] you know, she never did. She never did.

[9:48] She was always a strong dominant energy,

[9:51] but I loved her so much. And she loved

[9:53] me so much. She was a real lover, too.

[9:56] And

[9:57] she [clears throat] so she was hanging

[10:00] out with me all the times when I was

[10:01] recording. And she always liked the

[10:03] music. anytime I'd start playing

[10:05] especially simple melodies and piano

[10:07] stuff, she'd just fall asleep. Boom.

[10:10] And but like dogs do, they get up and

[10:13] walk around or they they scratch their

[10:16] collar or something. So, she was

[10:17] inevitably getting into the recordings,

[10:19] which I I found challenging and

[10:21] annoying, but it just happened. You

[10:23] know, I I had to have her around. And

[10:26] the house was also really old. It's like

[10:28] almost a hundred years old. This it was

[10:30] the first house I ever had, too. It was

[10:32] just like this little fixer upper. They

[10:34] did a lot of work on the house, but it

[10:36] the floors were really creaky. Like if

[10:38] you moved even a little bit on the piano

[10:40] bench, it was like,

[10:42] so you hear that in the recordings. Um,

[10:44] of course, you hear the room I was in,

[10:46] you sometimes hear the birds outside or

[10:48] if a truck went down the street. We were

[10:50] in northeast Portland. And so all these

[10:53] environmental sounds, I tried to reduce

[10:54] them. I I would unplug the refrigerator

[10:56] when I recorded, you know, because that

[10:58] was the kitchen was not obviously far

[11:00] away at all.

[11:02] and Kaa's in there. So, I'd play these

[11:05] songs and it almost became like she was

[11:06] my only audience. And I I was kind of

[11:08] playing these songs for Ka and I'd kind

[11:10] of notice what songs soothed her, what

[11:13] songs put her to sleep, what melodies

[11:15] were really working. And she became the

[11:18] muse kind of or certainly like my my

[11:22] co-pilot, my little band member who is

[11:24] like the producer just by their vibe.

[11:27] And so I I recorded a bunch of songs in

[11:31] 2016

[11:32] and I was really enjoying it and they're

[11:35] all instrumental and I wanted to have as

[11:37] many limitations as possible. Like it's

[11:39] it's just the piano and there's nothing

[11:42] else I'm going to use. Like I'm not

[11:43] going to use my voice. I'm not going to

[11:45] use uh percussion. I'm not going to use

[11:47] any synthesizers. Like just what can I

[11:49] do with the piano to make songs? I can

[11:52] layer it. I can play it solo. so I can

[11:54] be experimental with what I'm doing. But

[11:58] I thought if I almost like had fewer

[12:00] colors to paint with

[12:03] that would help the creative process.

[12:04] And I I think it really did. And I found

[12:07] that to be a lesson later in life is

[12:10] like when you have fewer choices, you

[12:12] know, when you limit the colors that you

[12:13] can paint with only a few different

[12:15] crayons you can use, I think better art

[12:18] comes out of that.

[12:20] And so I

[12:22] I had these songs and I remember when I

[12:24] started to have what looked like an

[12:26] album put together. Uh I I did feel a

[12:29] little self-conscious about it because I

[12:31] I hadn't done this before. I'm like, are

[12:32] they too simple? Are they too

[12:34] minimalist? Is it too spacious? Uh and

[12:37] so a couple songs you you have to always

[12:39] I always have an idea like you got to

[12:40] serve the song. And that meant like just

[12:45] listening like what does it what does it

[12:46] need or want? and I could be taking

[12:48] things away or adding things in. And a

[12:50] couple songs I felt like wanted strings

[12:53] and I I decided to have that element.

[12:56] And there were two players I was working

[12:58] with in Portland off and on. Kylen King,

[13:00] we worked a lot together. And Jesse

[13:02] Deweiler played cello. And Kylen played

[13:04] viola and violin.

[13:07] And both really talented. And so I I

[13:10] wrote out some charts. Also the first

[13:12] time I had ever written out string

[13:14] charts or any charts, I used a muse

[13:17] score and then had to like notate them

[13:19] into muse scores. It was a time

[13:21] consuming process and then brought them

[13:23] over and um track them I think one at a

[13:27] time on some of the songs and on some of

[13:29] them Kylen played violin vi viola and

[13:32] violin. So we had like a a trio three

[13:35] parts

[13:37] and and that was it. It was just piano

[13:39] and some strings, mostly piano. And it

[13:43] was my little medicine at the time, like

[13:45] these songs and this process was my

[13:47] medicine of making music that soothed

[13:50] me. And that's why, you know, that the

[13:52] title wasn't there at first, but the

[13:54] title later became held because that's

[13:56] how it made me feel. It made me feel

[13:59] held like inside, inside the sound,

[14:03] inside something really intimate and

[14:05] special that was outside of all the

[14:06] chaos of the external things happening

[14:08] in the world. And that's what I needed

[14:10] then. And you know, revisiting the album

[14:13] 10 years later, that's what I need now.

[14:16] And so it was a pretty wild experience

[14:18] uh coming back to the album. But I'll

[14:20] get back to that. I want to finish up

[14:21] this synchronicity that continued to

[14:24] happen, this big moment.

[14:27] so many years. I I released the album

[14:29] and originally it was put out on a

[14:31] little label called 1631 Recordings and

[14:33] then uh I got the album back and it just

[14:36] it's been out and I think the first song

[14:38] opening made some rounds and it's always

[14:42] been an album that I liked and we

[14:44] pressed a vinyl but only like 500 copies

[14:46] and this beautiful white vinyl

[14:50] and and then that sold out and that's

[14:52] kind of that's how it was left and I

[14:55] want to talk about the The image on the

[14:58] uh well actually this fits in the image

[15:01] on the album, the held album, the

[15:04] original artwork for the vinyl and the

[15:06] digital. It looks it's like a black and

[15:08] white. What it is is a cave opening and

[15:11] I went to Hawaii to Kawaii with uh my

[15:14] partner at the time, Karina. And this is

[15:17] when we were going through that same

[15:18] transition out of our relationship.

[15:22] Dynamic time. And I wanted to go on this

[15:25] hike called the Kowalao Trail on Kauaii,

[15:28] which is a really difficult 11mi trek

[15:32] in, but very dangerous, too. There's

[15:34] there's there's one part that's called

[15:35] Climbers's ledge, I think, where you go

[15:39] around this bend where the the trail is

[15:41] really slippery and sketchy and not

[15:43] exactly level and it's just a thousand

[15:45] foot cliff on either side of you. So,

[15:47] there's nothing to hold on to. And hence

[15:49] the name, you know, you sort of crawl or

[15:52] crawler's ledge. you crawl through it.

[15:54] There are many there are a couple

[15:55] sections like that where unfortunately

[15:57] people have died on it. Like there's a a

[15:59] little sign at the beginning of the hike

[16:01] with like hash marks of people who who

[16:03] died on a hike. It was over 80. So it

[16:06] was definitely a this I don't know if

[16:08] I'd do this now, but at the time I was

[16:10] like I think it's worth it because you

[16:11] get to this beach that you could really

[16:12] only get to by hiking to it.

[16:16] and it's very secluded and special and

[16:18] you can you can camp out there and

[16:19] there's fresh fruit and waterfalls and

[16:22] it's what I wanted to do. So, we did it.

[16:25] Karina's game. It was a hard hike. It

[16:28] was super scary, but we got out there

[16:30] and when we were there, uh there was

[16:33] this big freshwater

[16:35] and then adjacent to that was this cave

[16:37] and there was a freshwater cave and

[16:39] there was a lake in the cave. It maybe

[16:41] went back 100 to 200 feet. So there's

[16:44] water in it and the water is being fed

[16:46] by dripping uh stelacttites.

[16:50] They're just putting like so it's fresh

[16:51] water seeping through the rocks. I swam

[16:54] to the back of the cave lake and I had

[16:57] one of those old, you know, back in the

[16:59] day before iPhones, we had little

[17:00] digital cameras and I had the digital

[17:02] camera in a ziplockc baggie holding it

[17:04] over my head above the water as I swam

[17:06] back and in the back there was this

[17:08] little black sand beach and I sat on the

[17:13] beach and I turned around and that I

[17:15] took a picture of the cave looking at

[17:18] that opening and in the opening could

[17:20] see the beach and the horizon and a

[17:22] little bit the water and the sky

[17:26] and then the the cave itself was just

[17:27] black because of the exposure. And

[17:29] something about that image and that time

[17:31] period, it just felt like a light at the

[17:33] end of the tunnel or um

[17:37] it felt like a representation of the

[17:39] sound and the feeling like the ocean and

[17:42] the sky like a new horizon or a

[17:44] beginning emerging out of this cave like

[17:47] something you don't know yet that is

[17:49] being born. or you're inside this

[17:51] womblike thing of the earth and out

[17:54] there is another world and you don't

[17:56] know what that world is yet but it's

[17:58] new. So like I I didn't know that at the

[18:01] time but it felt like something right at

[18:02] the time. So I took that picture and

[18:04] that ended up being the the artwork. I

[18:06] just made it black and white and

[18:07] inverted the colors. And that's why the

[18:10] artwork for Held 10, this anniversary

[18:13] remaster is the same photo but really

[18:15] the original photo. So, I put the color

[18:18] back in and inverted it back to how it

[18:20] was naturally. So, you can see the beach

[18:22] and the ocean and and that's what that

[18:24] image is. It's the cave at Kowala uh

[18:27] beach.

[18:29] So, fast forwarding uh maybe eight years

[18:32] later or something, seven or eight, um

[18:35] we did get divorced and I entered a new

[18:38] relationship with Rada and and of course

[18:40] we're together and it's a whole new

[18:42] life. It feels like a different person,

[18:44] but I, you know, hopefully I I know I I

[18:47] know I've grown tremendously since then.

[18:50] And sometimes the only way you can grow

[18:53] is to go through a certain kind of fire,

[18:56] right? Like you have maybe a part of you

[18:59] has regrets about choices you've made,

[19:00] but there's a part of you that also

[19:02] clearly recognizes that you would you

[19:04] wouldn't be who you are and where you

[19:06] are without that path.

[19:10] It's there's just this kind of beautiful

[19:12] tragic

[19:14] um inevitability to it, a destiny and

[19:17] choice that's mixed together. And

[19:20] so I recognized that uh you know it was

[19:24] like a soul path for both of us. And

[19:28] so Karina had Kaya when we when we

[19:31] separated. Ka stayed with Karina and we

[19:34] would share the dog. I was living in

[19:36] Boisee, Idaho, so from Portland. It's

[19:39] far, but not too far. And we'd meet up

[19:41] and and pass the dog off. And I I had

[19:43] the dog less, but I would still get to

[19:45] see Ka. But as Kaia got older, it was a

[19:49] little harder for her to do those moves.

[19:52] And Kaia lived a long time. You know,

[19:54] she was getting to be about 14, I

[19:57] believe. And then

[19:59] she started to to kind of fall apart,

[20:02] you know, physically. And it was really

[20:03] scary and sad. And eventually it got to

[20:06] the point where um she might have had

[20:09] probably some kind of tumor inside her

[20:11] like nasal cavity or something. It was

[20:13] causing these nose bleeds and it was

[20:15] painful and she wasn't breathing right

[20:17] and hacking and we had to make that that

[20:20] horrible decision about um she was

[20:23] really suffering and do we put her down,

[20:27] you know, do we help her uh end her life

[20:30] gracefully as opposed to all this

[20:32] stress? And it was a hard decision for

[20:34] me and and Karine, I'm sure, but we had

[20:38] to make that decision. And we did a

[20:40] process where we brought a a nurse that

[20:44] came to your house to do the process. So

[20:46] because Kaio really hated going to the

[20:48] vet. It was really we didn't want it to

[20:49] be more stressful for her.

[20:52] And I went to Portland. It was all this

[20:54] whole rushed process cuz you know these

[20:56] aren't things you really plan. It just

[20:58] happened one week and we had to it's

[20:59] like, you know, you decide this on a

[21:01] Monday and it's happening on Wednesday

[21:03] and I flew over and I'm in Portland and

[21:05] I'm back in the neighborhood where I

[21:06] used to live and so all of that's kind

[21:09] of like there's a lot coming up and it

[21:11] was summertime

[21:12] and we knew we had this date on

[21:14] Wednesday to do this and Wednesday came

[21:18] and

[21:22] the the nurse person came in and I Kai

[21:24] could sense something and she was

[21:26] nervous And uh I didn't really like that

[21:30] feeling. And then they eventually give

[21:32] her kind of a shot to calm her down.

[21:35] And we set up this little altar and a

[21:37] blanket. And Ka's lying on the the

[21:41] blanket. And Karina's there and I am

[21:43] there. And Karina's husband now is there

[21:46] and uh the nurse. So the four of us and

[21:50] Rada was able to join us but not till

[21:51] the day after.

[21:55] And I wanted to put on music because

[22:00] I thought that would soo Ka, you know,

[22:01] she and I put on the held album because

[22:04] Kaia was there and I knew it soothed

[22:06] her. And so I just put it on at the

[22:08] beginning of the album. We had a a

[22:09] Bluetooth speaker like near her ears.

[22:11] She couldn't hear very well anymore, but

[22:13] she could still hear a bit.

[22:15] And I'm playing the album and we're

[22:17] going through this process and as the

[22:19] album's playing, you know, I'm crying.

[22:21] Everybody's crying. We have our hands on

[22:23] Kaia

[22:26] and they they they put in the nurse put

[22:28] in that injection, you know, where it

[22:30] eventually will slow her it'll stop her

[22:32] heart and slow her breathing where she

[22:34] actually will die.

[22:36] And uh

[22:38] my hand is on Kaia's heart and her

[22:42] breathing and feeling that warmth and

[22:44] feeling her energy

[22:47] and I'm just losing it and the music's

[22:51] playing.

[22:53] And right when Ka's heart stopped,

[22:57] it was it was just the timing of it was

[22:59] this synchronicity. It was the end of

[23:01] the album.

[23:03] And the end of the album is a song

[23:05] called Endings.

[23:09] And it ends with the piano just merging

[23:13] into this infinite reverb, like just as

[23:15] if it's dissipating into space, into the

[23:17] ether.

[23:19] And right at that moment is when Kaia's

[23:22] heart stopped.

[23:26] Just that alignment and timing like this

[23:27] is an album that you can hear Kaia in

[23:30] that she largely inspired and then I

[23:32] played it to help her. It became like

[23:34] this tool to help her with her own

[23:36] passing and a tool to help me and and

[23:39] Karina and every you know her husband,

[23:41] everyone in the room to to process this

[23:44] moment. The way music can do this. But

[23:47] the way it aligned like that was so

[23:49] beautiful. And right in that moment, I

[23:51] could feel

[23:53] the consciousness of Kaia the dog like

[23:56] moving from the body into the room

[24:00] and just becoming like a soul space. And

[24:02] it was really beautiful and powerful.

[24:07] And and for that to happen

[24:12] through the music, through the held

[24:14] music,

[24:16] it it was just so beautiful. It

[24:20] so it obviously I feel it now uh saying

[24:23] it. And so a year later or so or

[24:26] whenever until now when it became I

[24:28] noticed it was the 10th anniversary of

[24:30] the held album being released. I wanted

[24:32] to elevate it and I wanted to honor it

[24:34] and I wanted to revisit it. I wanted to

[24:37] get back into the music and into those

[24:39] songs for myself kind of to to almost

[24:43] like not let the process go

[24:47] or to get into it deeper to get more

[24:50] richness out of it. And so I opened up

[24:52] those sessions from when I was in

[24:55] Portland and there they were on my

[24:58] screen, the recordings and looking at

[25:00] how I would, you know, even just mix it

[25:02] and how it's different from now. 10

[25:04] years have passed of how I approach

[25:06] music and yet how some things hadn't

[25:08] changed. And I took those mixes and put

[25:12] them through all my analog gear, kind of

[25:14] made new premasters. So that was the

[25:16] first step of the process.

[25:18] and recognizing that, you know, they

[25:20] weren't drastically different than the

[25:22] decisions I had made, you know, when I

[25:24] abedded it to 10 years ago to the to the

[25:27] present, like how are my mixes?

[25:31] There was some similarities there, which

[25:33] I guess was good. Um, but then I had

[25:35] Taylor Depri, who mastered it

[25:37] originally, remaster these new

[25:39] premasters, and I wanted Taylor to do it

[25:41] because there's a continuity of process

[25:44] there and his sensitivity to this kind

[25:47] of work. and we've developed a

[25:49] relationship of his mastering a lot of

[25:52] my um ceremony work and piano work over

[25:56] these 10 years. He did the whole music

[25:58] for mushrooms album, the Lovingly album,

[26:00] which you know really complex mastering

[26:02] projects, albums that large that he was

[26:04] always game to do and he did the Hell

[26:07] album. So he did Held 10 and remastered

[26:09] it.

[26:11] And I always find mastery to be a bit of

[26:13] a difficult process because you know

[26:14] someone else is doing it and you're

[26:15] trying to communicate through just

[26:16] words, how to change things by using

[26:20] words that are metaphors like, you know,

[26:22] warmer or closer or less power,

[26:26] whatever, and sometimes technical and

[26:31] you're not there when they're doing it.

[26:32] But but we did it. And so we had this

[26:34] new master and then we wanted a whole

[26:37] new vinyl because I wanted to bring it

[26:38] back on vinyl. We use this, we made a

[26:40] new vinyl master, did updated the

[26:43] artwork and so forth and and got that

[26:46] going as well, just independently

[26:49] uh just through my own record label,

[26:51] Aquillow Records. So, not even not, you

[26:53] know, we did it ourselves. We're going

[26:55] to house it and ship it out to

[26:56] ourselves.

[26:58] And that brings us up to uh today. And I

[27:03] also included some B bides. Like I went

[27:05] back to those sessions and thought like,

[27:06] well, what else was on the cutting room

[27:08] floor? And we had a few bsides that I

[27:10] had released on the held Kindred. We did

[27:12] this like sister release of remixes and

[27:14] bides also back then. I I remixed and

[27:18] remastered those too. And I found a few

[27:20] more bsides that didn't make it. And I I

[27:23] brought those have never been heard

[27:24] before and we brought those up too. So

[27:27] the digital version of held 10 includes

[27:29] all of those bides plus the original 10

[27:31] tracks and the vinyl because of the

[27:34] limitations of vinyl. It has the

[27:36] original tell 10 tracks uh reworked and

[27:39] mastered plus four of the bides.

[27:45] So

[27:50] yeah, it'll be interesting

[27:52] playing this out live to some I won't

[27:54] necessarily play it front to back, but

[27:56] we're definitely going to play some

[27:57] songs and that's a very living process

[27:59] for me at the moment. Then I want to try

[28:01] doing some of that solo on this doorway

[28:04] tour coming up in Europe. And then I'm

[28:06] hoping to do a tour in the United States

[28:08] in 2027 with some string players where

[28:12] we can go even deeper. And that's a

[28:14] definite expansion for me. I mean, I

[28:15] guess I did that 10 years ago, but this

[28:17] would be in a much bigger way reinvent

[28:20] and reook at the string arrangements for

[28:22] live and maybe bringing some of that

[28:24] into some of the other East Forest

[28:26] tracks. Um, so I'm excited.

[28:30] I'm excited to share Held 10 with you.

[28:34] The first single that I'm putting out is

[28:36] the first song on the album called

[28:38] Opening. And this is the 2026 remaster.

[28:42] And the second single, uh, I believe

[28:44] it's on October 28th, closer to

[28:46] Halloween, is the song Held, which is

[28:49] one of my favorites on the record. And

[28:51] that also, of course, got remastered.

[28:54] and and then the whole album's on

[28:57] November 11th, 2026, plus all those

[29:00] other bides. Um on my Patreon, I did

[29:03] share the whole album. Now, if you want

[29:05] to check it out, you can get an advanced

[29:07] listen. You can listen to the whole

[29:09] thing on um a secret, uh Band Camp link.

[29:14] And uh until then uh you know I'll share

[29:19] some more stories on social media

[29:21] probably where I can show you like I

[29:23] made some videos 10 years ago about the

[29:25] piano and the process and um I'd love to

[29:28] hear what you think and I'd love to hear

[29:30] what the album has meant for you over

[29:32] the years like you know how is um like h

[29:37] how Held found you or how that process

[29:40] maybe that album if it did how it's

[29:43] worked in your life or if there's any

[29:45] songs or anything or if you had the

[29:47] original vinyl, you know, if you have

[29:49] any stories about listening to that. I

[29:50] have a feeling that the music has woven

[29:53] in your life in a way like it woven mine

[29:56] with Ka.

[29:57] Uh that I'd love to hear those stories

[30:00] cuz I don't feel responsible for that. I

[30:02] feel like the music is an entity itself

[30:05] that like when you make a record, it's

[30:06] like a little boat you build and then

[30:08] you let it off to the sea and it's out

[30:11] there doing its thing and floating

[30:12] around and going through storms and calm

[30:14] seas and meeting people and different

[30:17] shores and I want to hear the stories.

[30:20] I'm like, "Oh, where's the boat been?"

[30:22] It's like a proud little parent. So, we

[30:24] want to hear from you about what have

[30:26] your experiences been with the album

[30:29] held. And I want to dedicate this album

[30:31] to Ka because she was my first dog and

[30:35] one of my greatest teachers. Dogs are

[30:37] these beautiful mirrors to ourselves.

[30:40] And she showed me a lot a lot taught me

[30:43] a lot about myself and how I can bring

[30:46] compassion and strength and what does it

[30:48] all mean and the rhythms of life that

[30:51] were good for her that I really needed

[30:53] myself too. The regularity and how we're

[30:55] animals too. and

[30:58] just powerful powerful teacher. So,

[31:01] thank you, Ka. And um

[31:05] thank you for helping me make this

[31:06] record and

[31:09] yeah, we want to [music] dedicate this

[31:11] this to you. So, thank you so much for

[31:14] listening and I look forward to seeing

[31:16] you on [music] the road in Europe and

[31:18] thanks for letting us know what you

[31:19] think of the new record. Peace and

[31:21] blessings.

[31:23] [music]

East Forest
ArtistEast Forest

Multidisciplinary artist Krishna-Trevor Oswalt, known as East Forest, makes lush ambient, neoclassical and experimental music, and his concerts and films reach from clinical resear…

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Held10Upright-pianoPiano-recordingGrief-and-musicKaya-dog-story

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Held10 is a 10th-anniversary remaster, remix, and reworking of East Forest's album Held, originally released in 2016. The reissue includes the original sessions remixed, new mastering, B-sides from the same period, and a few previously unreleased pieces. A limited 500-copy gold-foil numbered vinyl edition is available for pre-order.
East Forest recorded Held on a Charles Walter upright piano in his living room in Portland, Oregon. He describes it as the first piano he ever bought, found through a Craigslist search and collected from a storage locker. He recorded it with several microphones routed through an old Apogee Ensemble interface.
Kaya was East Forest's lab mix, and she appears in the background of several songs on Held. He says she used to sleep while he played. Years later, the album became the soundtrack to her passing, which he calls one of the biggest synchronicities of his life.
He wanted a simple, intimate record that helped him feel held during a painful period of divorce and change. He played very quietly and amplified the sound through headphones so the details of each key's touch and tone were audible up close. The approach turned a modest upright into an intimate listening experience.
East Forest used four microphones: two small condensers on the side of the piano, a large condenser below it, and another large condenser placed in the middle after wood was removed from around the soundboard. The signal ran through an older Apogee Ensemble interface, using its preamps and converters.
The limited-edition Held10 vinyl is a run of 500 copies, gold foil stamped and individually numbered, and it can be pre-ordered through the East Forest store at eastforest.store. The digital release is available on Spotify, Apple Music, and Bandcamp.

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