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Inspiration

Why Part of You Might Be Refusing to Reach Your Goals

Brad Yates
Brad Yates
Nov 2, 2026
8 min de lecture

Source : Brad Yates - Tap with Brad

À regarder · 8

Brad Yates's seven-minute EFT tapping video makes a claim most productivity advice avoids: if you are not consistently taking the actions that move you toward a goal, the cause may be a part of you that is refusing to reach it. Not a flaw in character, and not a lack of willpower, but an inner protector that has decided the goal would be wrong, dangerous, or unfair to have. From that premise he builds a tapping script that addresses the refusal directly, argues that self-criticism is simply another form of refusal, and asks the listener to replace judgment with curiosity about fear and confusion. The video is short, but its central reframe deserves a closer look than a single viewing gives it.

Lecture · 8 sections

What does it mean to say part of you is refusing a goal?

The video opens with a deliberately uncomfortable proposition. Yates says, at about 0:01, that "if you are not consistently taking the actions that move you towards your goals, consider the possibility that part of you is refusing to reach your goals." He acknowledges up front that the idea may not be one the viewer wants to embrace. That admission matters, because the rest of the argument depends on the viewer being willing to look at a gap they would rather explain away with tiredness or bad timing.

The word that carries the weight is "refusing." It moves the problem from the category of effort, where the usual answer is to try harder, into the category of intention. A person who refuses something has made a decision, even if that decision is invisible to them. Yates is pointing to the possibility that the stalled goal is not an accident of procrastination but the output of a part of you that is working against the outcome for reasons it considers good.

Why would a part of you refuse something you want?

Yates is explicit about the motive he has in mind. At about 0:18 he says the refusal happens "not because you're bad or stupid or weak or lazy, but because some part of you says it would be wrong, dangerous, unfair, whatever it might be, for you to have that goal." The list of reasons is loose on purpose. The point is less about specific fears and more about the logic: somewhere in the system, achieving the goal has been filed as a threat.

He then names the paradox directly: "part of you is brilliantly trying to take care of you by stopping you." This is the hinge of the whole piece. The refusing part is not the enemy in this framing. It is a protector using a blunt tool. Yates adds that if we refuse to look at that, "then that part is winning," because the protector's strategy depends on staying out of view.

For anyone who has repeatedly planned, started, and stopped, the idea offers a different way to read the pattern. The stall is not evidence that you lack the goal. It may be evidence that some part of you has a different concern that has not yet been named.

How does the tapping script work on that refusal?

The tapping portion is built on a familiar EFT structure: a setup statement that holds an acknowledgment and a choice together. Yates's core phrase, delivered at about 1:03, is "Even though part of me might be refusing to reach my goals, I choose to love and accept myself anyway." Variations follow. He widens the acknowledgment to "refusing to take the necessary actions, because part of me is convinced it's not safe to reach those goals," and then extends the self-acceptance outward to "anyone else who might be involved."

The grammar is worth noticing. The first clause names the resistance without shaming it. The second clause makes a choice about how to relate to it. Yates ends that round with "Because I choose to feel that free," which frames the purpose of the self-acceptance as creating enough room to see what is happening. The transcript does not include the tapping points themselves, so the sequence of touches is not described here. What the spoken script makes clear is the intent: accept the refusing part first, then investigate it.

Why does beating yourself up keep you stuck?

The most practically useful section of the video is its treatment of self-criticism. Yates admits, somewhat ruefully, that when he is honest about how little he does toward a goal in a reasonable time frame, he "always" beats himself up. Then he makes the turn. At about 3:16 he says: "Because the time I waste beating myself up is time I'm not using towards moving towards my goal. It's another way of refusing to reach my goal."

This is a sharp observation. Self-criticism feels like effort because it is emotionally loud, and it can pass for taking the goal seriously. Yates argues it actually drains the energy that could go toward action, and that it functions as one more way of staying put. He describes it as "just slows me down even more." The implication is that harshness toward yourself is not a motivational tool that has failed to work. It is a delay mechanism that feels like accountability.

What questions does the video suggest asking instead?

In place of judgment, Yates proposes curiosity. At about 3:57 he says he chooses "to be curious rather than judgemental," and then lays out a sequence of questions. What am I afraid of? Or am I deciding it is not the right goal? Is it not what I really want, or am I just afraid of getting there? Are these fears based on misunderstandings?

That last question is the one most worth sitting with. A fear built on an incomplete picture of what success will bring can keep a person holding back indefinitely, because the picture never gets corrected. Yates's suggestion is to clear up the confusion so that moving forward feels safer, rather than trying to override the fear by force.

He then sharpens the inquiry around three areas. At about 5:26 he asks: "Am I refusing to have more money? Am I refusing to be in better health? Am I simply refusing to be happier? What am I afraid would happen if I had more of these?" Notice that the question is not whether these things are good. It is what the listener expects would follow from having them. That expectation, not the goal itself, is what the refusing part may be guarding against.

What does "clearing at a cellular level" mean in this practice?

Near the end, at about 6:08, Yates says he is "processing those fears" and "clearing them at a cellular level," and that he is clearing them "all the way back through my past." The video does not expand on what that phrase means mechanically, and this article will not supply a theory it does not contain. What can be said is that the script frames the work as reaching back to where the fears were formed, so that the forward movement feels easier. Yates describes the result as possibly joyful action and a sense of "setting myself free to move forward, in body, mind, and spirit."

Readers should treat the language of the practice as Yates's framing and his own experience of it. The video description itself asks viewers to take full responsibility for their own well-being, practice self-care, and seek appropriate professional help as needed. That caution is especially relevant when the fears underneath a stalled goal feel old, heavy, or tied to past experiences.

What does the closing reflection ask you to do?

The video ends not with a tap but with a return to open eyes. At about 6:56 Yates asks the listener to "really open your eyes to why you might refuse to move forward," to give themselves permission to consider that this is what is happening, and to see "where am I holding myself back." He closes with a warning that matters: getting mad at yourself "doesn't clear up fear, it just creates more tension." The final task is to see what is going on, clear up confusion, and figure out where you actually want to go.

Where to go from here

The most useful way to take this video is as a set of questions before it is a tapping routine. Pick one goal you have been stalling on. Write down the three questions Yates poses: what am I afraid of, is this what I really want, and what would happen if I had it. Notice whether the answers involve safety, fairness, or a belief about who you would have to become. Then, on the days you catch yourself beating yourself up, try the reframe he offers: recognize the self-criticism as another delay, and redirect that energy toward one small action.

If you want to try the spoken script, the video is the primary source, and the description links to Yates's FAQ and research pages for readers who want more context on EFT. This article has not reviewed those pages, so treat any claims about research as something to verify directly. And if the refusal you notice is tied to old pain or to something that feels overwhelming, the video's own advice applies: seek appropriate professional support alongside any self-help practice.

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Transcript

[0:01] This may not be an idea that

[0:03] you actually want to embrace,

[0:05] but

[0:07] if you are not consistently taking the

[0:09] actions that move you towards your

[0:10] goals,

[0:12] consider the possibility that part of

[0:14] you is refusing to reach your goals.

[0:18] Not because you're bad or stupid or weak

[0:20] or lazy,

[0:21] but because some part of you says it

[0:23] would be wrong, dangerous,

[0:26] unfair, whatever it might be, for you to

[0:29] have that goal.

[0:30] And so, part of you is brilliantly

[0:32] trying to take care of you

[0:35] by stopping you.

[0:37] And

[0:39] you know, and if we refuse to look at

[0:40] that,

[0:41] then that part is winning.

[0:44] The part of you that refuses to reach

[0:45] your goals is going to refuse to allow

[0:48] you to look at those things that might

[0:50] be stopping you.

[0:51] >> [snorts]

[0:51] >> So, let's look at that with some

[0:53] tapping, um taking full responsibility

[0:55] for your own well-being.

[1:01] Even though part of me might be refusing

[1:03] to reach my goals,

[1:08] I choose to love and accept myself

[1:10] anyway.

[1:14] Even though part of me might be refusing

[1:17] to reach my goals,

[1:22] I choose to love and honor myself.

[1:29] Even though part of me might be refusing

[1:32] to reach my goals,

[1:37] refusing to take the necessary actions,

[1:43] because part of me is convinced

[1:48] it's not safe to reach those goals.

[1:56] And even though part of me is refusing,

[2:02] I choose to deeply and completely

[2:06] love, honor, and accept myself.

[2:12] And maybe anyone else who might be

[2:13] involved.

[2:18] Because I choose to feel that free.

[2:25] All this refusal to reach my goals.

[2:31] And I don't like thinking that that's

[2:32] what's going on.

[2:38] But if I'm really honest with myself,

[2:43] I'm probably not doing everything I

[2:45] could do

[2:50] to reach my goal in a reasonable amount

[2:52] of time.

[2:58] And I might say, "Well, yeah, that's

[2:59] true."

[3:04] But I'm always sure to beat myself up

[3:06] for that.

[3:12] Which is brilliant.

[3:16] Because the time I waste beating myself

[3:18] up

[3:23] is time I'm not using towards moving

[3:26] towards my goal.

[3:31] It's another way of refusing to reach my

[3:33] goal.

[3:38] And now that I'm on to myself,

[3:43] I'm giving myself permission to knock

[3:45] that off.

[3:51] When I get in my own way,

[3:57] I choose to be curious rather than

[3:59] judgemental.

[4:03] Instead of beating myself up,

[4:09] which just slows me down even more,

[4:15] I choose to see that part of me

[4:20] is just refusing to move forward.

[4:26] What am I afraid of?

[4:34] Or maybe I'm deciding it's not the right

[4:36] goal.

[4:41] I choose to get curious about why I'm

[4:43] refusing to move forward.

[4:50] Is it not what I really want?

[4:56] Or am I just afraid of getting there?

[5:02] And what might I be afraid of?

[5:08] And are these fears based on

[5:09] misunderstandings?

[5:14] I choose to clear up any confusion

[5:20] so that it feels safer to move forward.

[5:26] And then I don't have to refuse reaching

[5:28] my goals.

[5:33] Am I refusing to have more money?

[5:39] Am I refusing to be in better health?

[5:46] Am I simply refusing to be happier?

[5:54] What am I afraid would happen if I had

[5:56] more of these?

[6:02] And I'm processing those fears.

[6:08] Clearing them at a cellular level.

[6:13] Clearing them all the way back through

[6:15] my past.

[6:20] So that it feels easier to move forward.

[6:27] It can even feel joyful taking action.

[6:35] I'm setting myself free to move forward.

[6:41] In body, mind, and spirit.

[6:47] Take a deep breath, open your eyes.

[6:51] And uh

[6:52] you know, really opening your eyes to

[6:56] why you might refuse to move forward.

[6:58] Giving yourself permission to consider

[7:00] that that's what's going on.

[7:02] And then seeing

[7:04] where am I holding myself back? Why am I

[7:06] holding myself back? Why might I be

[7:08] digging my heels in and refusing to move

[7:10] forward?

[7:12] And instead of just getting mad at

[7:13] yourself for that, which doesn't clear

[7:15] up fear, it just creates more tension.

[7:19] Allowing yourself to really see what's

[7:20] going on there. Clearing up any

[7:22] confusion.

[7:24] And figuring out where you really want

[7:26] to go.

[7:28] And when other stuff gets in the way,

[7:30] I'm here for you.

[7:32] Thanks.

Brad Yates
ArtistBrad Yates

Brad Yates is an EFT tapping teacher, author and speaker who has spent over 20 years helping people release subconscious blocks, and who shares more than a thousand free tapping vi…

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Explorer les thèmes
Eft-tappingGoal-resistanceSelf-sabotageInner-criticFear-clearing

Des questions ?

Questions fréquemment posées

Brad Yates suggests that the stall may be a protective refusal rather than laziness, with some part of you believing that reaching the goal would be wrong, dangerous, or unfair. He argues the refusing part is trying to take care of you by stopping you. Getting curious about what that part fears is his proposed first step.
Yates argues it does, because the time spent beating yourself up is time not spent moving toward the goal. He describes self-criticism as another way of refusing to reach it. He contrasts that with curiosity, which he says helps clear up the fears keeping you in place.
In this video, the setup statement follows the pattern 'Even though part of me might be refusing to reach my goals, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.' It names the resistance without judgment and pairs it with a choice of self-acceptance. The transcript does not describe the tapping points themselves.
Yates suggests asking what you are afraid of, whether the goal is really what you want, and whether your fears are based on misunderstandings. He also asks what you expect would happen if you had more money, better health, or greater happiness. Writing down the answers is a way to bring the refusing part into view.
Yates presents tapping as a way to process the fears underneath a stalled goal and to feel safer moving forward. The video description, however, asks viewers to take responsibility for their own well-being and seek appropriate professional help as needed. Tapping is best treated as one self-help practice, not a replacement for professional support.
Yates is explicit that the refusal is not because you are bad, stupid, weak, or lazy. Instead, it comes from a part of you that has concluded achieving the goal is unsafe or wrong. The distinction shifts the question from why you lack discipline to what that protective part is afraid of.

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