Transcript
[0:18] Namaste. Welcome.
[0:21] I was uh teaching years ago uh and I was
[0:25] talking about our conditioning to turn
[0:27] on ourselves, to be at war with
[0:30] ourselves. And someone afterward sent me
[0:32] a cartoon and it had a therapist talking
[0:35] to their client saying, you know, these
[0:39] feelings of unworthiness are common
[0:42] amongst the unworthy.
[0:45] And I thought that was really good
[0:46] because it points to something deep
[0:48] which is uh we don't just mentally judge
[0:52] ourselves. We actually believe the
[0:55] judgments. They feel like truth. We feel
[0:56] them in our bodies that something is
[0:59] wrong. That our basic identity has some
[1:03] core badness. You know that we're
[1:04] failing.
[1:06] The judgments we have towards ourselves
[1:10] block loving.
[1:12] Judgment blocks love. And if we want to
[1:16] free our hearts, we need to deepen our
[1:20] attention to dedicate to deepening our
[1:22] attention to bringing a an honest and
[1:25] kind presence to that core knot of
[1:29] beliefs and feelings about being not
[1:31] okay.
[1:32] And as you know, there can be real
[1:36] fruits when we commit ourselves to
[1:37] anything. And I've seen that those who
[1:41] commit to loving ourselves and to
[1:43] healing discover a very radical and
[1:46] beautiful kind of freedom. So uh some
[1:50] years ago at a retreat I gave a talk on
[1:53] this particular dimension and I want to
[1:57] share it with you. It's really an
[1:58] opportunity to go deeper into how rain
[2:02] can awaken us from a very limiting sense
[2:05] of identity and help us really deepen
[2:10] that process of loving into healing.
[2:13] Okay friends, I hope you find this
[2:15] helpful.
[2:20] like to begin by um saying how much
[2:24] appreciation I'm feeling for um the
[2:27] quality of your your practice and your
[2:31] efforts and your intentions. uh just
[2:34] really feeling felt this through the
[2:36] groups and in the hall this that there's
[2:39] this real choosing of presence and in a
[2:42] way you know when we're here and this is
[2:44] our shared
[2:46] aspiration it's kind of a perfect setup
[2:49] to then notice really vividly how much
[2:54] we leave and that's really fine it's the
[2:57] nature of mind but we're noticing and um
[3:01] I've been really really uh
[3:03] touched by the level of honesty that I'm
[3:07] sensing about that. Just really being
[3:09] able to name and notice it. And and part
[3:13] of what I think the noticing is is how
[3:17] often we go around with a sense of
[3:20] there's a problem here.
[3:23] Something I'm struggling with something.
[3:24] I have to solve a problem. Um how often
[3:28] there's a sense of wanting things
[3:31] different. I mean, how many of you have
[3:33] noticed when it's unpleasant how quickly
[3:35] there's wanting it different? Yeah.
[3:37] [laughter] Okay.
[3:39] And then the big one, and this is uh
[3:43] really tonight's exploration, which is
[3:46] coming right off of I felt Jonathan laid
[3:50] out so beautifully, the the energies,
[3:53] the challenging energies that we
[3:54] encounter in working with them is to
[3:57] continue with that. um to continue with
[4:00] exploring how we how we be with.
[4:04] And one of the main uh layers that we
[4:09] often miss and yet is um locks us into
[4:13] trance is that not only is something
[4:16] happening that's difficult and that we
[4:18] wish wasn't happening, but we add on a
[4:22] layer of I'm bad for this. I'm doing
[4:26] something wrong. this reflects badly on
[4:28] me.
[4:30] It's kind of goes very quickly from this
[4:33] feels bad to I'm bad. And I'm wondering
[4:37] how many of you notice that adding on.
[4:41] How many of you notice that when you're
[4:43] sleepy how there's also a layer of
[4:47] something's wrong with me in the way I'm
[4:49] practicing?
[4:51] Yeah. Okay.
[4:54] So this is um been traditionally called
[4:56] the second arrow. The first arrow is the
[5:00] direct experience that raw experience of
[5:02] it could be fear or anger or sleepiness
[5:05] or anything.
[5:07] And the second arrow is that we're we
[5:11] make ourselves wrong for the fact that
[5:13] it's happening. There's a selfowning it
[5:15] and that's really the problem.
[5:18] And the more there's a core sense of
[5:20] course of
[5:22] already existing self- aversion, the
[5:25] more quickly everything that's going on
[5:27] in some way gets tinged by that sense of
[5:31] this is reflecting badly on me.
[5:35] Very early on,
[5:38] we internalize
[5:40] the messages of the culture and parents
[5:43] that in some way say, "You should be
[5:46] different than you are. Something's not
[5:48] okay."
[5:50] So, one of my favorite little stories
[5:52] about this is a woman who walks by a pet
[5:55] store on the way to work and there this
[5:58] time the parrot's in a cage out front
[6:00] and when she walks by the parrot goes a
[6:02] o you're ugly and you're stupid and she
[6:05] goes strange. Well, it must have heard
[6:08] that somewhere. Next day she walks by
[6:11] and same thing. A you're ugly and you're
[6:14] stupid. and she's kind of annoyed and
[6:16] she thinks she's going to go in and say
[6:18] something to the owner, but she's really
[6:20] busy. She's got a lot of stuff to do.
[6:22] So, she goes, "Third day it happens.
[6:25] You're ugly and you're stupid." And
[6:26] she's That's it. She goes in and the
[6:29] owner is objectly apologetic. He feels
[6:32] terrible. He says he'll do some training
[6:34] with the parrot. Trust, you know, it'll
[6:36] be okay.
[6:38] She goes by few days the cage is
[6:41] missing. But when she goes by, I think
[6:43] about 4 days later, the cage is back and
[6:45] the parrot goes o,
[6:48] you know, [laughter]
[6:55] [gasps]
[6:56] it's in us. We don't have to have other
[6:58] people criticizing us. I mean, we it's,
[7:02] you know, it's ready to burst out that
[7:05] sense of um already not okay.
[7:09] So, I'd like to in our exploration
[7:13] tonight just deepen that look at um how
[7:18] we wake up from the trance of that very
[7:21] quick to feel a something's wrong with
[7:24] me, not okay self.
[7:27] And I'd like to start with a poem that a
[7:34] friend of mine who's a poet sent me just
[7:36] uh I just got this yesterday. [snorts]
[7:39] This is Caviri Patel.
[7:44] This flurry of snow thoughts inside my
[7:47] mind globe is continuous.
[7:50] No room for sunlight, warmth, peace.
[7:54] I'm stuck inside a pattern I can't
[7:56] control unless I see the woman trapped
[7:59] inside and the one holding the globe.
[8:03] The choice to shake it up again or
[8:06] cradle the scene in her hands till all
[8:09] the cold flakes have settled and quiet
[8:13] serenity abounds.
[8:20] The pattern I can't control unless I see
[8:24] the woman trapped inside
[8:27] and the one holding the globe. The
[8:30] choice to shake it up again or cradle
[8:34] the seam in her hands
[8:37] till all the cold flakes have settled
[8:40] and quiet serenity abounds.
[8:50] Really resonated with me is that these
[8:52] are the two wings that we explore
[8:56] again and again here.
[8:59] Jonathan talked about last night. This
[9:01] is the wing of can we see that the
[9:04] patterns going on? Can we see, okay,
[9:07] I've turned against myself?
[9:10] Can we see how we're shaking up the
[9:12] globe like how we're spinning the
[9:13] stories and can we choose instead?
[9:18] This is the radical shift. It's an
[9:20] evolutionary shift to cradle, to hold
[9:24] with kindness.
[9:26] This is where we're going. And just to
[9:28] say that these two wings of seeing
[9:31] what's happening like right this moment
[9:33] what is happening inside me to see
[9:36] truthfully
[9:38] this moment
[9:41] and to regard with kindness are utterly
[9:44] interdependent.
[9:47] You can't see truthfully what's here
[9:50] if the heart is judging because the
[9:53] judgment will distort the seeing.
[9:56] You'll just see the old associations
[10:00] that lead you to saying bad self.
[10:05] And
[10:07] you can't really love what's here unless
[10:11] you're seeing it and in contact with it.
[10:14] Love is abstract unless it's embodied.
[10:18] Okay? So these are totally
[10:20] interdependent.
[10:23] when we're not really seeing truthfully
[10:27] what's going on. In other words, when
[10:28] we've left the rawness and we're in one
[10:30] of our patterns and when we're not
[10:33] holding with tenderness, we're in a
[10:35] trance.
[10:37] Okay, that's when we're in a trance.
[10:40] Really, the definition of trance is the
[10:42] opposite of those two wings. And one of
[10:45] the um metaphors that I love a lot is
[10:49] from uh Joseph Campbell. And some of you
[10:52] may have heard it before. Jonathan has
[10:54] shared it a number of times. And it's
[10:56] really a metaphor for awareness that has
[10:58] circle as this big circle. That's
[11:01] awareness. And there's a line that's
[11:04] going through. And [snorts] everything
[11:06] below the line is what you're not
[11:10] conscious of. In other words, it's
[11:12] what's not truly being seen and regarded
[11:15] with kindness or love.
[11:19] And again, remember, it's both wings.
[11:21] It's not just that you're not seeing it.
[11:22] It's also that it's not held in your
[11:24] heart. And everything that's above the
[11:26] line is what you're aware of, what
[11:28] you're conscious of. And really, the
[11:30] path, the spiritual path is bringing
[11:33] more and more of the contents of what
[11:35] we've in some way pushed away and judged
[11:37] into the light of awareness. That's what
[11:40] we're doing.
[11:43] We bring these two wings of that we're
[11:46] really learning to activate of seeing
[11:49] what's going on and holding with
[11:51] kindness to our inner life and to each
[11:52] other. And that's really the training.
[11:56] And I thought I'd uh share a story, a
[11:59] beautiful illustration of bringing the
[12:01] two wings. One woman brought the two
[12:04] wings to someone else who she didn't
[12:06] know. This is told by Katherine Ingram.
[12:08] And she says, "A few years ago, I was
[12:10] with a close friend in a grocery store
[12:13] in California. As we snaked along the
[12:15] aisles, we became aware of a mother with
[12:18] a small boy moving in the opposite
[12:20] direction and meeting us headon in each
[12:22] aisle." The woman barely noticed us
[12:25] because she was so furious at her little
[12:26] boy, who seemed intent on pulling items
[12:28] off the lower shelves. As the mother
[12:31] became more and more frustrated, he
[12:32] started to yell at the child, and
[12:34] several aisles later, she progressed to
[12:36] shaking him but the arm.
[12:39] This point my friend spoke up. A
[12:41] wonderful mother of three and founder of
[12:43] a progressive school. She had probably
[12:45] never once in her life treated any child
[12:47] so harshly.
[12:49] I expected my friend to give this woman
[12:51] a solid mother to mother talk about
[12:53] controlling herself and about the effect
[12:55] this behavior has on a child. Brace for
[12:58] a confrontation. I felt a spike in my
[13:00] already elevated adrenaline.
[13:03] Instead, my friend said, "What a
[13:06] beautiful little boy. How old is he? The
[13:08] woman answered cautiously. He's three.
[13:11] My friend went on to comment about how
[13:13] curious he seemed and how her own three
[13:15] children were just like him in the
[13:16] grocery store, pulling things off
[13:18] shelves, so interested in all the
[13:20] wonderful colors and packages. He seemed
[13:23] so bright and intelligent, my friend
[13:24] said. The woman had the boy in her arms
[13:27] by now, and a shy smile came over her
[13:29] face. gently brushing his hair out of
[13:32] his eyes. She said, "Yes, he's very
[13:34] smart and curious, but sometimes he
[13:36] wears me out." My friend responded
[13:39] sympathetically, "Yes, they can do that.
[13:41] They're so full of energy."
[13:44] As we walked away, I heard the mother
[13:46] speaking more kindly to the boy about
[13:48] getting home and cooking his dinner.
[13:50] "We'll have your favorite macaroni and
[13:53] cheese," she told him.
[14:01] I was trying to sense what what what
[14:04] touches me so much about that story.
[14:06] Something about, you know, we can take
[14:10] that in and sense her being able to
[14:12] witness what's going on and see what's
[14:15] happening. And she was really able to
[14:16] step out of her own potential reactivity
[14:20] and see more clearly. she could see,
[14:22] yes, this is harmful behavior, and yes,
[14:26] this is a woman who's reacting from
[14:28] stress and whatever,
[14:31] and had the wisdom to respond from above
[14:35] the line rather than a reaction that
[14:37] would have just kept the woman in her
[14:39] unconsciousness and her defensiveness.
[14:43] And really the um challenge and
[14:47] potential is for us to be able to
[14:51] step out of that mind globe and bear
[14:55] witness to what's going on in ourselves.
[14:58] So we have the same possibility of
[15:00] choice there
[15:02] even when what we're judging is the way
[15:05] we cause harm.
[15:08] Because if there's anything that's hard
[15:09] to forgive, and I know that many of you
[15:12] could touch into this in the forgiveness
[15:14] practice, it's very hard to be okay with
[15:18] ourselves when we face the reality
[15:21] that sometimes we're not honest and
[15:25] sometimes we cause other people
[15:27] suffering out of our needs.
[15:32] Sometimes we get lost in our anger and
[15:34] we really do. Just like that woman
[15:36] shaking her child. We think of that and
[15:38] it's awful to see somebody mistreating a
[15:41] child. But that happens. How can our
[15:43] hearts include this?
[15:47] So the key
[15:50] that as I mentioned I'd like to explore
[15:52] is when we catch that second arrowing
[15:56] when we've been angry or anxious or in
[16:00] some way causing harm to ourselves or
[16:02] another and then we add on that kind of
[16:05] nail in the coffin of badness.
[16:08] How do we start waking up? And we're
[16:11] really exploring how to shift and this
[16:13] is an evolutionary perspective from
[16:16] fight, flight, freeze, you know, the the
[16:19] the limbic limbic brain, the survival
[16:22] brain's reaction to our evolutionary
[16:26] potential, which is to attend and
[16:28] befriend, which is to see truly and hold
[16:32] kindly.
[16:38] One of the uh phrases that rings true
[16:43] for me is when I sadata
[16:46] who's a wonderful non-dual teacher says
[16:49] all I ask of you is this make love of
[16:53] yourself perfect
[16:59] and when he says that make love of
[17:02] yourself perfect he doesn't mean loving
[17:06] the character in your story and the the
[17:09] narrative
[17:10] doesn't mean you're loving and trying to
[17:14] add some extra polish to that story
[17:17] character. It's not more affirmations of
[17:20] why you're a good person.
[17:22] It's really that seeing and loving the
[17:26] rising waves of what's right here. It's
[17:29] making the love of this life right this
[17:31] moment right here as full as possible.
[17:38] A lot of people say, you know, have that
[17:40] question. Well, and don't the Buddhists
[17:42] feel like there's no self there to love?
[17:45] It's language, but we're really opening
[17:49] our hearts to the life right here. And
[17:53] the magic is that the more that we bring
[17:57] tenderness to the life rights here, the
[17:59] more the um sense of a self actually
[18:02] starts dissolving.
[18:04] That's the freedom that happens. The
[18:07] hint is when we have this let's say this
[18:09] aspiration to meet this life with
[18:11] openheartedness with love is that if
[18:15] we're in a limbic hijack, if we're
[18:18] gripped, it doesn't start out by love.
[18:22] It's not like we can skip from fight,
[18:25] flight, freeze to embracing with love.
[18:28] That's not organic. So a hint here is
[18:30] that as we do with rain, because rain is
[18:34] really just the unfolding of the two
[18:35] wings, right? Recognize and allow and
[18:39] then deepen it with investigate and
[18:42] nurture.
[18:44] It starts just with that willingness
[18:47] some some intelligence in you knows that
[18:51] by pulling away you're just
[18:55] it's just going to keep you locked in.
[18:57] So there's something in us that says
[18:59] okay I'm willing to stay just a little
[19:01] bit more and just a little bit more and
[19:04] just a little bit more and that's the
[19:06] beginning of love. Does that make sense?
[19:12] We begin by just saying, "I'm willing to
[19:14] stay."
[19:16] So from an evolutionary perspective,
[19:18] when we're when we're in that hijack,
[19:20] what's happened is
[19:23] our system has encountered stress.
[19:25] There's an unmet need in some way. When
[19:28] you're in reaction, there's something in
[19:31] you that needs more safety,
[19:34] needs more of a sense of in some way
[19:36] being taken care of, gratified, needs a
[19:39] sense of being loved, needs a sense of
[19:41] belonging.
[19:42] a sense of worth. There's an unmet need.
[19:46] And when that unmet need is strong, when
[19:50] there's like a real raw sense there, the
[19:53] survival brain takes over and tries to
[19:56] get away from the pain of that unmet
[19:58] need and goes into fight, flight,
[20:00] freeze, tries to take care of us.
[20:03] So reactivity is a way of trying to take
[20:05] care of us. It's the primitive brain's
[20:07] way of trying to meet needs.
[20:11] The problem is it doesn't work.
[20:14] Okay? So, we have to keep evolving. I
[20:16] mean, that's just the way life goes.
[20:17] Life has to keep adapting because the
[20:20] old system doesn't work.
[20:23] So, one of the ways that um I find
[20:25] really useful in remembering what's
[20:28] going on when you're caught in
[20:30] reactivity, um I I often go back to Dan
[20:34] Seagull's uh model of the hand as a
[20:36] brain. And I know many of you are
[20:39] familiar with it. So I'll just very
[20:41] quickly as a reminder if you take your
[20:43] hand like this and you say okay put your
[20:46] fold your thumb in four fingers over
[20:49] this is your brain okay this is the
[20:51] frontal cortex here and what it's
[20:53] covering over brain stem and limbic
[20:57] and when we're integrated okay we're
[21:01] like this and what happens is
[21:03] information flows up and the into the
[21:06] lbic system and it might say unmet need
[21:08] something dangerous there is something
[21:10] bad we got to take care. And then the
[21:12] frontal cortex gives a message down. Oh,
[21:15] it's it's cool. We've already done this
[21:17] one and it's not what you know, it's a
[21:19] rope, not a snake or whatever it is. But
[21:21] we get information that that was then.
[21:24] Maybe there was trauma then, but now is
[21:26] now and we're okay.
[21:28] But what happens when there's not a lot
[21:31] of presence and not a lot of integration
[21:33] of the brain is that information comes
[21:36] up. Uhoh, we're going to be exposed as a
[21:39] phony. Uh-oh, people are going to reject
[21:41] us. Uhoh, something bad's going to
[21:42] happen. And we flip our lid. Okay?
[21:47] Right? And what that means is in those
[21:50] moments, at that time, we're in a limbic
[21:53] hijack. There's a kind of circling going
[21:56] on of fear thoughts and fear feelings
[21:59] where the way you know you're in a liyic
[22:01] hijack is it's overwhelming anger or the
[22:05] fear is really gripping. You might
[22:07] notice you're freezing and there's just
[22:09] no way you can respond.
[22:11] We're in a limbic hijack. And so if
[22:15] there's even a recognition and I
[22:17] sometimes will say to myself, okay,
[22:20] limbic hijack when I'm just feeling like
[22:22] really reactive, just to name it is part
[22:27] of coming back into integration.
[22:31] Because as Jonathan said last night, the
[22:34] shaman say, if you can name a fear, it
[22:38] doesn't have as much power over you.
[22:40] When there's naming, it activates the
[22:42] frontal cortex. I mean, there's studies
[22:45] on it now, MRIs that show in the moment
[22:47] you note or name mindfully what's going
[22:49] on, you are reintegrating the brain.
[22:55] When we're in our unconscious looping,
[22:58] the beginning is to shine a light
[23:01] directly on what's happening and name
[23:03] it. I want to give you a an example of
[23:08] how powerful this wing of naming it and
[23:11] including it can be
[23:14] that just happened recently in a
[23:17] conversation I had with my dear friend
[23:19] and assistant Janet who's here with us
[23:23] and um who gave me permission to share
[23:25] this story.
[23:27] By the way, Janet's the name Janet and
[23:31] she said this and I looked it up means
[23:33] the graciousness or mercy of God.
[23:37] And um as my assistant, I experience
[23:40] that blessing a lot as many of you know.
[23:44] Um so Janet and I were having a
[23:46] conversation on the phone and Janet was
[23:48] telling me all the way she felt like she
[23:50] was falling short and not doing enough.
[23:54] So, I started to reassure her that she
[23:57] was doing plenty, but that was a bad
[23:59] strategy because that brought on more.
[24:01] And then it went a little deeper because
[24:03] Janet, some of you know this, some of
[24:06] you might not, but a couple of years ago
[24:07] had a diagnosis of Parkinson's,
[24:11] which takes a lot of self-care. And so
[24:13] Jan part of the not enough is I'm not
[24:15] taking good enough care of myself and
[24:17] I'm not eating well and I'm not or I eat
[24:20] well enough but not to the extent that I
[24:23] could to be taking care of myself
[24:26] and then it came and then it cycled back
[24:28] and then I you know I get sleepy and
[24:30] then I'm not doing the job right and it
[24:32] came back to the job again. So I
[24:35] realized the absolute um ludicr trying
[24:39] to convince Janet that you know in fact
[24:43] you are enough. So I took a different
[24:45] tact and I asked her to proclaim very
[24:48] loudly um I'm not enough. I'm falling
[24:51] short and had her kind of say it loud
[24:53] and even yell it. And then I said let's
[24:55] sing it. So there we were and I'm on my
[24:58] I'm driving on the beltway and she's I
[25:00] don't know where she was but we but she
[25:02] says she started singing you know I'm
[25:04] I'm falling short I'm a loser I'm this
[25:07] and I started joining and we decide to
[25:08] do a duet and by the way it comes easy
[25:11] for me because you know I wrote radical
[25:13] acceptance I know all about falling
[25:15] short
[25:17] in fact Jack Kornfield my friend says uh
[25:19] calls me the queen of shame because I've
[25:21] investigated it so deeply. So there we
[25:24] were
[25:26] singing about falling short and and and
[25:28] and anytime the convers we you know the
[25:31] conversation would go on to something
[25:33] else we'd say yeah but we're blowing
[25:34] that too you know we we just went on and
[25:37] on. We both came out of that
[25:41] feeling so much freer
[25:45] from uh you nodding your head there.
[25:48] Yeah. um from buying in and that's what
[25:53] it's about.
[25:55] It's like there's a very deep looping of
[26:00] thoughts and feelings about not okay
[26:03] and it takes really shining a light on
[26:06] them and to do it collectively.
[26:10] For instance, in one group I was in, uh,
[26:13] one person began by saying, um, you
[26:16] know, how deep and intense that senses
[26:20] of the self- judgments, you know, like,
[26:23] you know, the more you start noticing,
[26:24] the more you notice them just really.
[26:27] And I asked the group, so how many of
[26:30] you are are in some way working with
[26:33] everybody?
[26:35] All of us. And the the immediate feeling
[26:39] was well that itself is healing. Just to
[26:43] know that
[26:45] just to know that in this field here
[26:48] we're all waking up
[26:51] to
[26:52] a loving presence that's here and all
[26:55] having to bring over and over again that
[26:59] presence to where the tangles are. Every
[27:01] one of us is in that.
[27:04] It helps because it's not so personal
[27:07] then and that's actually part of truth.
[27:12] The truth is when we're below the line,
[27:16] it's all very personal.
[27:20] When you even get a glimmer of it's not
[27:23] just me, it's us. It's not my self-
[27:26] aversion, it's the self- aversion that
[27:29] is rampant in our culture.
[27:31] When you get a glimmer of that, you're
[27:33] already coming above the line. Does that
[27:36] resonate for you?
[27:39] Okay.
[27:41] There's in my life can point to two
[27:44] transformations
[27:45] uh over these years of practice that are
[27:48] really evident. One is that there's less
[27:51] lag time between when the looping is
[27:54] going on and some recognition of oh okay
[27:58] back in that that looping of something's
[28:00] wrong with me not doing it right falling
[28:03] short. There's more there's less lag
[28:05] time and there's less lag time in at
[28:08] least having some gesture of kindness.
[28:12] And if I can even remember
[28:15] that it matters to be kind, like not
[28:17] that I'm not talking about feeling kind.
[28:19] That's that could be down the road.
[28:22] Just that it matters
[28:25] like right in this moment. Just even
[28:27] saying that that it matters
[28:30] brings in the possibility and starts
[28:33] reintegrating the heart and mind to be
[28:36] more fully here.
[28:38] Just a gesture of kindness.
[28:44] So trance,
[28:46] when we're below the line, we're
[28:48] avoiding the rawness of emotion. We're
[28:51] not really contacting it and we're
[28:54] making things wrong. And it takes a lot
[28:57] of dedication
[29:00] to
[29:02] be willing. It's a kind of courageous
[29:05] to be willing to ask that question. What
[29:07] am I unwilling to feel?
[29:11] What is it that I am running from?
[29:15] What really wants attention?
[29:17] Because then we have to tolerate what
[29:20] we've been running from. So what makes
[29:23] us willing? If you really sense, how
[29:26] come we're all we all signed up for
[29:28] this? We all signed up to sit and walk
[29:31] and come back again and again to
[29:34] presence which sometimes is spacious and
[29:38] lightfeld and crystal rainbow whatever
[29:42] and other times is clutch in the chest
[29:46] and just over and over having to
[29:49] Charlotte Jooko Beck describes like this
[29:51] icy couch that we're sitting down on
[29:56] this clutch
[29:58] What what motivates us
[30:02] is that there is a wisdom waking up in
[30:05] each of us that really knows that
[30:08] everything we long for, what most
[30:11] matters
[30:13] becomes available as we come above the
[30:16] line, as there's this radical
[30:18] self-honesty
[30:20] that becomes more interesting
[30:23] and more engaging and more alive than
[30:26] staying comfortable in our story.
[30:30] It's courageous to be honest,
[30:34] but it becomes more the way we want to
[30:37] live. And that loving, that holding with
[30:40] care, we get it that if we can't embrace
[30:43] it, we're going to be below the line.
[30:48] Carl Young says, "Nothing has a stronger
[30:51] influence psychologically
[30:54] on their environment and especially on
[30:56] their children than the unlived life of
[31:00] the parents.
[31:06] Unlive life could mean uh always wanted
[31:10] to you be a musician or you know hike
[31:13] the Appalachian. But it's also means the
[31:17] unlived life is what we haven't honestly
[31:20] acknowledged and held with kindness.
[31:34] Mostly I'm um speaking on an individual
[31:39] level
[31:41] tonight of how we bring our attention to
[31:45] the unlived life, especially the places
[31:47] we've turned on ourselves.
[31:49] But I wanted to share that quote from
[31:52] Carl Young because it's not just
[31:56] doesn't only keep us in trance and in
[31:58] prison when we don't face and open to
[32:01] what's inside us. It ripples out to
[32:04] touch those that we're close to and it
[32:08] goes beyond that. It goes into our
[32:11] culture to the extent we're not facing
[32:13] what's inside us.
[32:16] There's a story I like to share now and
[32:19] then comes I I read this book and this
[32:21] was the very beginning of the book and
[32:23] it describes an Austrian woman named
[32:26] Clara and she's made pregnant by her
[32:28] uncle and when his wife dies and he
[32:32] marries her.
[32:34] So all her children die soon after
[32:36] birth. Finally her fourth child lives
[32:39] very very sickly. [snorts] So she
[32:41] obsessively nurses this this child for
[32:45] two years. So he'd try to get away from
[32:47] the nipple, but she'd force him as if
[32:49] that's the only way he's going to live.
[32:51] She's also obsessive about having a
[32:53] spotless house, and she lives in fear of
[32:56] her husband's beatings.
[32:59] Now, her son grows up exceedingly
[33:01] fearful. He's a vegetarian, and he's
[33:04] afraid of microbes, of germs, of dirt.
[33:08] He feels the very blood in his veins is
[33:11] dangerous and it'll bring about defects
[33:13] and feeble-mindedness because of his
[33:16] mother and the incest.
[33:18] He's afraid of gossip about his
[33:20] incestuous family. He never has
[33:22] children. He's afraid of tainted blood.
[33:24] He's terrified of cancer which took his
[33:27] mother's life. Horrified that he suckled
[33:30] at diseased breasts. afraid of moonlight
[33:33] and horses, of snow, water, the dark, of
[33:37] judges, of Americans, of old men, of
[33:41] poets. So the question is, how could
[33:44] anyone live with so much fear?
[33:48] Here's how he did it. He seized on one
[33:50] all-encompassing explanation for the
[33:53] existence of sin and disease and for his
[33:55] failures.
[33:57] It was not a weakness in his parents, in
[33:59] his blood, or in his mind. He was
[34:02] faultless. Others were felt. He could
[34:05] not change his China blue eyes, but he
[34:08] could
[34:10] hang the world they saw.
[34:13] He would identify the secret source of
[34:14] every evil and root it out. He would
[34:16] free Europe of pollution and defilement.
[34:20] Only health and purity would remain.
[34:23] Are such grim and comic facts
[34:25] significant or merely interesting?
[34:27] Here's another. The doctor who could not
[34:31] cure Claraara Hitler's cancer was
[34:33] Jewish.
[34:43] When we look in an evolutionary way, the
[34:46] repercussions
[34:48] of fightlight freeze of not being with
[34:51] the shadow
[34:54] end up getting absolutely huge and
[34:57] violent when we're not with fear. And
[34:59] you just now back to the the world, the
[35:03] society we're in and uh what's going on
[35:05] this week and last week and so on. When
[35:08] we're not with the fears, then it
[35:11] becomes aggression and aimed towards
[35:13] other
[35:15] because we become unreal. We're
[35:18] disconnected and other becomes unreal.
[35:21] So then, oh fear, let's wall out the
[35:25] immigrants. Okay, let's get rid of
[35:28] refugees. Others are competing for what
[35:31] we deserve. I mean, how else do you
[35:34] explain how those who are living in
[35:36] poverty would vote in ways that would
[35:37] undermine their own needs because of
[35:40] other fear that's not really open to.
[35:46] We don't see our own biases.
[35:50] When we're not open to what's inside our
[35:52] own grasping for privilege, for power,
[35:55] that perpetuates us this culture of
[35:58] violence and injustice
[36:01] towards non-dominant cultures.
[36:04] So I bring this all up because we are
[36:07] practicing
[36:09] not just to evolve an individual psyche
[36:12] but really to evolve our cultural psyche
[36:17] in the moments that we're willing to
[36:20] stay with what's difficult. We're part
[36:23] of this movement to bringing above the
[36:25] line.
[36:27] bringing our awareness above the line so
[36:30] that and it ripples out so there can be
[36:33] more and more of a of a consciousness of
[36:37] our mutual belonging that we can live
[36:39] from that. So let's look a little more
[36:42] closely now at how within our own
[36:46] psyches when we're caught in a limbic
[36:48] hijack or when we're caught it's been
[36:51] the second arrowing how we disengage it
[36:56] by way of example
[37:00] again we're going to use the the acronym
[37:02] rain because it's it's not something
[37:05] other than our practice it really is how
[37:08] we unfold these two wings of seeing
[37:12] what's happening and opening to it. The
[37:15] example I'd like to give you is a woman
[37:17] I worked with some years back. She was
[37:20] in one of those generational sandwich
[37:22] crunch things where um she was visiting
[37:25] her father in a nursing home once a
[37:28] week. It was about an hour from her
[37:29] home. She'd she'd make calls in between
[37:34] and when she'd visit he was really
[37:36] lonely and she was kind of in a rush and
[37:38] whenever as soon as she'd start leaving
[37:40] he'd already be asking about when she's
[37:42] coming again and he'd always say I know
[37:44] you're really busy and I know you have
[37:45] better things to do but there was some
[37:48] grasping and then she was the other side
[37:51] of the sandwich was her son who was in
[37:53] middle school struggling with some
[37:55] learning disabilities and angry
[37:58] withdrawn wanting attention but storming
[38:00] away when he got it. So, she was having
[38:03] a hard time. And when we talked, she
[38:05] basically said her way of her where she
[38:07] started in was, "I know I love them, but
[38:10] I really don't like them." Which is
[38:13] really hard to admit. That's honesty.
[38:15] That's the first recognition. I just
[38:16] don't like them,
[38:19] and I feel like I'm hard-hearted,
[38:23] you know, just hard-hearted.
[38:25] So the allowing was simply that she
[38:28] agreed to let that be there that she was
[38:31] going to stay.
[38:33] Now this is the beginning of witnessing.
[38:36] Remember the mind globe or you know okay
[38:38] she's be she's stepping out enough to
[38:40] just name what's going on that does
[38:42] create some space and some presence.
[38:44] It's powerful.
[38:46] So then she
[38:49] recognize it allow it the investigating
[38:52] and getting more intimate. I often think
[38:55] of it as a U-turn where we're going
[38:57] from, you know, I don't like them and
[38:59] here's what's going on and we're going
[39:01] directly right into our body and our
[39:04] heart to say what is really going on in
[39:07] here and this is where the courage comes
[39:09] to to say what what really have I been
[39:13] unwilling to feel what is it and for her
[39:17] um where what she was running from and
[39:20] where her all her reactivity I don't
[39:22] like them and this is a bad situation is
[39:25] I am an unloving and unworthy person.
[39:30] I'm bad. It was a badness, personal
[39:33] badness. And there was a sense of of
[39:36] fear and shame that was kind of
[39:38] spiraling around it. And I asked her,
[39:40] you know, how has this affected your
[39:42] life? And how long have you been feeling
[39:43] this? And it was way before her father
[39:46] got sick and way before she even had a
[39:48] son that in some way she felt that
[39:51] personal badness
[39:53] as is often the case.
[39:56] It just it it attaches itself to the
[39:59] current circumstances. Right?
[40:02] When I asked her and I often ask this
[40:05] question, so how has this affected your
[40:07] life to to believe in this badness
[40:11] and to feel this kind of squeeze of fear
[40:14] and shame?
[40:16] She said, "Well, I can't get close to
[40:19] people really because I don't trust that
[40:22] they could love me."
[40:25] Yeah.
[40:28] And it was at that point that was when
[40:30] there was and I and I often describe
[40:32] this as ouch as that was when the
[40:35] suffering was she really got it
[40:40] that there was suffering. It was like
[40:41] that sense of okay this being right here
[40:45] is having a really hard time.
[40:49] That's I think of it as a soul sadness
[40:51] that comes up sometimes when we see the
[40:54] landscape of our life and begin to
[40:57] recognize
[40:58] how many moments whatever the pattern is
[41:01] that we're running. For some of us the
[41:03] pattern is the ways that we keep people
[41:05] distant and try to look good and
[41:07] underneath that there's some sense of
[41:10] not okayesseness.
[41:13] Our pattern might be the way we hold on
[41:15] tightly to people and try to get their
[41:17] approval or get them to see us again.
[41:21] Something's not okay.
[41:24] There can be a soul sadness when we
[41:26] realize how we've been inside that mind
[41:29] globe and shaking it up, saying, "I'm
[41:31] bad on some level and playing out our
[41:34] patterns over and over and never letting
[41:37] it settle, never finding the peace and
[41:41] connection that we long for."
[41:44] So for her that ouch was a sense that
[41:47] was when she she touched that. And then
[41:50] I asked another question. This is all
[41:52] part of investigating, of really
[41:54] contacting.
[41:56] So, what does that place in you that
[41:58] ouch place most need?
[42:01] And I invite you to to ask yourself that
[42:03] when you're deepening those wings of
[42:08] presence and what does this place really
[42:11] need in this moment?
[42:14] Because when you ask that, you're giving
[42:16] you're creating a communication between
[42:18] the vulnerability and the most awake
[42:21] potential in your being.
[42:24] When you sense what's needed, and for
[42:27] her, what was needed was a sense of
[42:31] really being held, really being cared
[42:33] for, really feeling that. When you get
[42:37] in touch with the need, the part of you
[42:39] that's most awake has all the potential
[42:41] to care. It actually activates that
[42:44] place to respond to the need. Okay. So
[42:48] for her that was when we could move to
[42:50] nurturing which was really to put her
[42:52] hand on her heart and for her just a
[42:54] simple phrase it's okay sweetheart I'm
[42:57] here I'm here which was coming from the
[43:00] most awake most caring part of herself
[43:04] was what she offered.
[43:10] When we have activated the two wings,
[43:13] recognized, allowed, investigated,
[43:15] nurtured, the most important
[43:19] moments
[43:21] are right after.
[43:24] And I want to say why you might consider
[43:26] when there's a real rain, okay, and
[43:28] comes down and it nourishes the earth.
[43:32] It's after the rain that everything
[43:35] flourishes
[43:37] that life is able to express its
[43:40] fullness.
[43:41] So to be able to after we practice rain
[43:46] and by the way it's not like rain always
[43:48] goes to the fullness of our potential of
[43:50] wisdom and love. goes to a degree, but
[43:53] to pause and sense and get familiar with
[43:58] get familiar with the taste of freedom
[44:01] that comes right after.
[44:04] I asked her, you know, what would your
[44:06] life be if you were no longer believing
[44:09] you're bad?
[44:12] You can try that on yourself.
[44:15] And what would it be like? And really
[44:18] just sense in this moment if you you
[44:20] really did not believe
[44:23] that anything was wrong.
[44:26] What would that be like?
[44:49] for her
[44:51] to ask that to sense into that. She
[44:55] said,
[44:56] "I would be free to love without holding
[44:59] back.
[45:02] I'd have a ton more energy
[45:06] and life would be an adventure, not a
[45:08] problem."
[45:09] I wrote it down because I thought they
[45:12] were pretty cool.
[45:15] So the process again for her was to be
[45:19] with with these two wings and then just
[45:22] to start sensing
[45:25] that beingness, the presence itself.
[45:30] See the the steps of rain have to do
[45:33] with some intentional doing. They're
[45:34] really really scalful but they're
[45:36] doings.
[45:38] But after and you just stop. Stop doing
[45:41] anything and then just rest in the
[45:44] beingness that's there. Get familiar
[45:46] with that. Get familiar with who you are
[45:49] when you're not inside that globe and
[45:51] you're not the one shaking up the mind
[45:53] globe. You're just present.
[46:02] Sometimes
[46:03] when we take these steps of rain, when
[46:07] we're investigating, getting in touch
[46:09] with what's going on, and we feel that
[46:11] core clutch of rawness,
[46:14] it's not possible to offer compassion
[46:16] towards ourselves.
[46:19] The more there's a limbic hijack, the
[46:21] harder it is to offer compassion to
[46:22] yourself.
[46:24] I want to take a moment to
[46:27] say that it's just as much the end of
[46:30] rain is just as powerful when we reach
[46:34] out to whatever we perceive as a source
[46:38] of that love and care.
[46:42] I know for myself and the the story that
[46:45] um most recently um in my own life has
[46:50] kind of had reverberations on how I
[46:52] practice was um a few years ago when I
[46:57] got caught in that kind of deep sense of
[47:00] not okayesseness and I was offering you
[47:03] know the kind of messages I offer to
[47:06] myself and some part of me was just
[47:08] really resistant saying I it's still not
[47:11] okay to be like this. It's just not
[47:14] okay. And it always has to do for me
[47:17] with hurting other people, feeling like
[47:18] the way I am, I'm some way neglecting,
[47:21] as I described with the conversation
[47:23] with Janet, I'm falling short.
[47:26] Um, and so I instead of trying to offer
[47:30] to myself, I just really came from that
[47:35] place, that unmet need, and just said,
[47:37] "Please love me." because that's what
[47:39] the need was just to feel loved so that
[47:42] could dissolve away that that core sense
[47:45] of not okayesseness.
[47:47] And I just kept whispering and it was
[47:49] with really a lot of longing because if
[47:51] you want to pray and have your prayer
[47:53] answered, you have to pray from the
[47:55] depth of longing.
[47:58] Prayer is the bridge between longing and
[48:00] belonging. The deeper you're in touch
[48:03] with how much you yearn to feel love,
[48:07] the more that yearning will call the
[48:09] loving presence to you.
[48:12] So it was with a lot of yearning. It was
[48:14] with tears. Please love me. And I felt a
[48:18] sense of presence just right here just
[48:20] bathing me. It was as if this kiss on
[48:23] the brow, this this wash through of
[48:25] loving. And the more your prayer is
[48:28] coming from longing, the more porous you
[48:31] are to let it in.
[48:34] It's really really hard to let in love.
[48:37] For most of us, it's easier to actually
[48:39] express it than to let it in. So that's
[48:43] the process that when you can't nurture
[48:46] yourself to reach out in longing to turn
[48:49] towards whatever source you sense and it
[48:53] could be that you bring to mind someone
[48:55] that you love that you sense love and
[48:58] presence and wisdom shining through and
[49:01] let the love of the universe come
[49:02] through that vehicle. Or it may be that
[49:05] your sense of of loving presence is God
[49:08] or the Buddha or bodhic sattva or it may
[49:12] be your dog or it may be mother earth.
[49:15] But to pray and reach out and long for
[49:17] and then from that that yearning let in.
[49:24] Clarissa Esta says
[49:27] refuse to fall down.
[49:30] If you cannot refuse to fall down,
[49:32] refuse to stay down.
[49:34] And if you cannot refuse to stay down,
[49:37] lift your heart toward heaven. And like
[49:40] a hungry beggar, ask that it be filled.
[49:45] You may be pushed down. You may be kept
[49:48] from rising, but no one can keep you
[49:52] from lifting your heart towards heaven.
[49:55] Only you.
[49:57] You may be pushed down. You may be kept
[50:00] from rising. But no one can keep you
[50:03] from lifting your heart towards heaven.
[50:06] Only you.
[50:08] It is in the middle of misery that so
[50:11] much becomes clear.
[50:13] The one who says nothing good came of
[50:15] this is not yet listening.
[50:31] We really are practicing
[50:33] for the collective awakening of heart.
[50:38] When you begin to attend and befriend,
[50:43] your heart space
[50:46] itself becomes available
[50:50] in a way that can be with and care about
[50:54] and respond to those around you.
[50:59] We start we start living from an
[51:00] enlarged belonging.
[51:03] And um as part of closing,
[51:07] I'd like to share a story that I have
[51:09] been
[51:11] including in talks from for probably 20
[51:15] years now.
[51:18] And um I used to just include the first
[51:21] part, but I learned the second part two
[51:24] years ago or three years ago.
[51:26] And um there's a a beautiful book called
[51:30] Offerings at the Wall. It has this whole
[51:34] selection of like 90,000 letters and
[51:37] momentos that veterans from the um that
[51:40] left at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial,
[51:43] Washington. How many of you have been
[51:45] there? Good number. Then you know these
[51:49] these letters. So they're collecting
[51:51] this book and I want to read you one of
[51:53] them.
[51:56] Dear sir, for 22 years I've carried your
[52:00] picture in my wallet. I was only 18
[52:02] years old that day that we faced one
[52:05] another on the trail in Chula, Vietnam.
[52:09] Why did Why you did not take my life?
[52:11] I'll never know. Forgive me for taking
[52:14] yours.
[52:16] I was reacting just the way I was
[52:18] trained.
[52:20] So many times over the years, I've
[52:22] stared at your picture and your daughter
[52:24] I suspect each time my heart and guts
[52:27] would burn with pain of guilt. I have
[52:30] two daughters of my own now.
[52:33] I perceive you as a brave soldier
[52:35] defending his homeland.
[52:37] Above all else, I can now respect the
[52:40] importance life held for you. I suppose
[52:43] that is why I'm able to be here today.
[52:45] It is time for me to continue the life
[52:48] process and release the pain and guilt.
[52:51] Forgive me, sir.
[52:58] So, here's someone who's willing to
[53:02] instead of below the line contact and be
[53:06] with the reality of what's going on and
[53:10] forgive hold him his own being in his
[53:13] heart.
[53:16] The reason I wanted to share this is
[53:18] because that is not the end of the
[53:22] story. Um,
[53:25] in 2009
[53:27] I discovered that so this is actually
[53:30] not it was not two or three years ago.
[53:33] Boy, time goes quickly.
[53:36] So I discovered it hadn't ended with
[53:38] this note and what had happened was a
[53:41] fellow vet
[53:43] saw the picture a picture made it his
[53:46] way to him and upon receiving it he
[53:49] decided to he got it to Latril. So this
[53:53] is the name of the guy. So he he saw
[53:56] that had been in the wall and he made a
[53:59] decision
[54:01] and it was he was going to go find the
[54:02] daughter in the picture. Okay. So, he
[54:06] had had a picture in his wallet all
[54:08] these years of the father and the
[54:10] daughter that he had taken from that
[54:12] wallet after killing this guy.
[54:15] So, he decides he's going to go and
[54:17] return the photo to this woman in
[54:20] Vietnam.
[54:22] So, he traveled to Vietnam and he found
[54:24] her. I don't know how, but this is all
[54:28] in in the news. and he found her brother
[54:31] and then through an interpreter he he
[54:33] introduced himself and he said, "Tell
[54:35] her this is the photo I took from her
[54:37] father's wallet the day I shot and
[54:39] killed him and I'm returning it." And
[54:42] then he asked for her forgiveness, his
[54:46] voice breaking.
[54:48] And then this young woman
[54:51] started crying and embraced him and
[54:53] they're sobbing together. And later her
[54:56] brother explained that he and his sister
[54:58] believed that their father's spirit
[55:00] lived on in Richard and that on that day
[55:03] their father's spirit had come back to
[55:05] them.
[55:12] It doesn't end with us just um attending
[55:16] and befriending. the more that comes
[55:18] into awareness, the more we live from
[55:21] awareness
[55:23] and we're able to make amends and we're
[55:26] able to say, "Oh,
[55:28] you know, I've been dishonest, but I
[55:30] really want to be honest and I care." Or
[55:33] we're able to say, "I hurt you and I get
[55:35] that I hurt you and I care."
[55:39] We're able to be honest. We're able to
[55:41] move on. We keep evolving when we've
[55:44] recognized.
[55:46] And the biggest thing that I think
[55:48] happens is that as we become more real
[55:52] to ourselves, we're holding and honoring
[55:54] what's going on inside us. Others become
[55:57] real.
[55:59] We're not just seeing the mask. We're
[56:01] seeing really who's there. They become
[56:04] vulnerable like me.
[56:07] Woman uh made a trip uh to the genocide
[56:10] memorial center uh in Rwanda and she
[56:15] sent me a note and she said that this is
[56:18] the quote she saw engraved on a plaque
[56:21] and it was written by Felicia Tan
[56:23] Naganga. He said, "If you knew me and
[56:28] you really knew yourself,
[56:30] you would not have killed me.
[56:37] So this is our evolutionary potential to
[56:41] know ourselves, to know the beingness,
[56:43] to know the vulnerability and the beauty
[56:46] of these hearts, to see that in each
[56:49] other and to live from that
[56:53] to just step and it really starts with
[56:56] sensing, oh this pattern in that mind
[57:00] globe that's replaying and to be able to
[57:02] step out thumb
[57:05] and notice it and then from inside and
[57:08] outside and all over embrace it and then
[57:12] have that heart that sees in each other
[57:14] who's there. It's like Mary Oliver said
[57:17] she she goes, "So every day, so every
[57:21] day I was surrounded by the beautiful
[57:24] crying forth of the ideas of God, one of
[57:28] which was you.
[57:34] So, I'd like to close with a uh a
[57:36] meditation if we will and just take some
[57:41] moments to find a way of sitting.
[57:44] It's pretty short meditation.
[58:00] or Sagodata
[58:03] says, "All I ask of you is this,
[58:07] to make love of yourself perfect."
[58:13] And what would it be like
[58:16] if we really committed our hearts
[58:23] to
[58:24] embracing the life that's right here?
[58:31] to bringing these two wings of seeing
[58:35] with that deep honesty
[58:37] and holding with that tenderness just
[58:40] this moment.
[58:47] So you might explore for yourself
[58:53] sensing into the life that's right here.
[59:04] Sometimes the beginning of that is as if
[59:07] you could
[59:09] kind of move your awareness to in front
[59:12] of you and above and kind of shine the
[59:14] light back on your body, your mind.
[59:18] Just really get well what so what's the
[59:20] body state and the mind state and the
[59:22] heart? Where have I been? Where am I
[59:25] now?
[59:27] What's really going on? Is there a
[59:29] pattern?
[59:34] Is there something that's been below the
[59:36] line that's wanting attention?
[59:43] Is there been a layer of in some way
[59:45] assuming
[59:47] I'm falling short?
[59:58] Just shine a light.
[1:00:10] You can deepen presence by having that
[1:00:13] that awareness that's looking as if it's
[1:00:17] looking right into that mind globe
[1:00:19] really filling the globe and filling
[1:00:22] your body. So you're feeling from the
[1:00:24] inside out and from all over in a very
[1:00:28] intimate way.
[1:00:32] discovering, investigating, contacting.
[1:00:37] What's it really like
[1:00:40] right now?
[1:00:44] This is that radical honesty.
[1:00:53] There's a place that most needs
[1:00:55] attention. Bringing the attention. So
[1:00:58] you're feeling from the inside out and
[1:01:00] all around that place
[1:01:05] and just sensing the quality of loving
[1:01:08] that it most needs. It may need the
[1:01:11] quality of loving that we call
[1:01:12] forgiveness.
[1:01:15] It may need the quality of love when we
[1:01:18] call simply keeping company with
[1:01:21] allowing it to be here.
[1:01:26] It may need to feel bathed through
[1:01:29] with utter tenderness
[1:01:32] and unconditional love.
[1:02:21] and sense after bringing these wings of
[1:02:24] honesty and loving to the life that's
[1:02:28] here. What happens when you just rest
[1:02:32] in the beingness that's here?
[1:02:37] Who you are when loving is full.
[1:03:08] To become familiar with this loving
[1:03:12] presence,
[1:03:13] to trust it as your true home
[1:03:17] is the path of freedom.
[1:03:49] So, thank you for your presence, your
[1:03:52] attention, and your beautiful hearts.
[1:04:06] >> [music]
