Transcript
[0:01] [music]
[0:06] Hey guys, Johny Hickman here. Welcome to
[0:08] my channel. One of the things I find
[0:10] myself talking about constantly, whether
[0:12] it's in my community, one-on-one
[0:14] sessions, or the comments underneath
[0:16] these videos, is the whole question of
[0:18] allowing emotions. What does it actually
[0:20] mean to allow an emotion? How do you
[0:22] know if you're doing it properly? What
[0:23] if you're not feeling anything? What if
[0:25] the emotions get bigger? What if you're
[0:27] resisting the emotions? And what if
[0:29] you're sitting there trying to allow
[0:30] something, but you just can't seem to
[0:33] let go of control? And I completely
[0:35] understand why people get confused by
[0:37] this because we're talking about
[0:39] something that's actually quite
[0:40] counterintuitive. Most of us have spent
[0:43] our entire lives learning how to manage
[0:45] our emotional experiences. We've learned
[0:47] how to calm ourselves down, how to think
[0:49] rationally, how to avoid getting upset,
[0:52] how to push certain feelings aside, and
[0:55] how to keep ourselves together when life
[0:56] gets difficult. And in many situations,
[0:59] those are actually very useful skills.
[1:01] But when we start doing this work around
[1:03] chronic symptoms, whether that's chronic
[1:05] pain, IBS, fatigue, anxiety, or any
[1:08] number of other symptoms, we're often
[1:10] being asked to develop a very different
[1:12] relationship with what's happening
[1:13] inside us. Rather than constantly trying
[1:15] to manage, change, or control our
[1:17] emotions, we're learning how to give
[1:19] them some room to exist. And that's
[1:22] where people get stuck because they
[1:25] start trying to do allowing correctly.
[1:27] They start looking for the right
[1:28] emotions, wondering whether they're
[1:30] feeling enough, trying to figure out
[1:32] what an emotion means or worrying that
[1:34] they're resisting something. And before
[1:36] they know it, allowing has become
[1:38] another thing that you're trying to
[1:40] control. So, in this video, I want to
[1:42] walk you through six really important
[1:45] things to understand about allowing
[1:46] emotions. I'm I'm going to focus mainly
[1:49] on what happens when we sit down to
[1:51] meditate, but we'll also talk a bit
[1:53] about how this translates into ordinary
[1:55] into ordinary life because these are two
[1:58] slightly different environments. And my
[2:00] hope is that by the end of this video,
[2:02] you'll have a much clearer understanding
[2:03] of what you're actually practicing when
[2:05] you meditate, why certain things keep
[2:08] showing up, and why so many of the
[2:10] experiences you might think are getting
[2:11] in the way of your meditation are
[2:13] actually part of the practice itself.
[2:16] So,
[2:18] why are we doing this in the first
[2:19] place? Before we get into the six
[2:21] points, I think it's important to
[2:22] understand why we're doing any of this
[2:24] in the first place. Maybe you already
[2:25] know because you've watched all my
[2:27] videos, but if you don't, in the mind
[2:29] body approach to chronic symptoms, one
[2:31] of the things we explore is the
[2:33] relationship between our nervous system,
[2:34] our emotions, our learned responses to
[2:37] danger, and the symptoms we experience
[2:39] in the body. For some people, emotional
[2:42] suppression, chronic stress, fear, and
[2:44] patterns of avoidance can contribute to
[2:46] the way symptoms develop or persist.
[2:49] That doesn't mean every symptom is
[2:50] caused by an unprocessed emotion. And it
[2:53] certainly doesn't mean that everyone
[2:54] with chronic symptoms needs to uncover
[2:56] some enormous hidden trauma to recover.
[3:00] But what we often discover is that we've
[3:02] developed a very fearful relationship
[3:04] with our own internal experiences.
[3:06] Certain emotions feel dangerous. Certain
[3:08] sensations feel dangerous. We might have
[3:10] learned very early in life that anger
[3:12] isn't acceptable, that sadness is
[3:14] weakness, that fear needs to be
[3:16] overcome, or that we need to keep
[3:17] everyone around us happy in some way.
[3:20] And over time, we can become incredibly
[3:22] good at controlling what we feel.
[3:26] Sometimes even realize, not even
[3:27] realizing that we're doing it. So part
[3:30] of this work involves gradually teaching
[3:32] our system that we don't necessarily
[3:33] need to be afraid of our own emotions
[3:35] anymore. That we can experience anger
[3:37] without acting on it. We can experience
[3:39] fear without immediately trying to get
[3:41] rid of it. We can experience grief
[3:43] without having to explain it away. And
[3:45] for some people, that might involve
[3:47] experiencing emotions that feel much
[3:49] bigger than what we're used to. I want
[3:52] to be really clear about something.
[3:54] We're not trying to force ourselves to
[3:55] have enormous emotional experiences.
[3:57] We're not trying to dig up the biggest
[3:59] emotion we can find. And we're certainly
[4:01] not measuring recovery by how intensely
[4:04] we can feel something. What we're
[4:05] learning is how to become more
[4:07] comfortable with our internal
[4:09] experience, whatever that experience
[4:12] happens to be.
[4:14] And that brings me to the first thing I
[4:16] want you to understand. So let's get
[4:17] into the first into the six things. So
[4:19] the first thing I want you to understand
[4:21] is your emotions don't have to make
[4:23] sense when you sit down and meditate.
[4:26] One of the first things we learn when we
[4:27] sit down and meditate is that [snorts]
[4:30] emotions
[4:32] is that we can learn to allow emotions
[4:35] to arise in any order and at any
[4:38] intensity and for any length of time and
[4:40] for whatever reason. I really want you
[4:42] to understand what that means in your
[4:44] meditation because it's quite different
[4:46] from how we're used to relating to
[4:48] emotions in everyday life. In everyday
[4:50] life, in ordinary life, we have
[4:52] responsibilities. We need to be
[4:54] considerate of other people. We need to
[4:56] behave in ways that are respectful,
[4:58] respectful, reasonable, and appropriate.
[5:01] If someone if someone upsets us, we
[5:04] can't necessarily start screaming at
[5:06] them in everyday life. If we're feeling
[5:09] frightened, we might still need to get
[5:11] on with our day. If we're feeling angry
[5:13] with our partner, we still have to
[5:14] consider how to communicate with them.
[5:16] We can't just lash out. And that's all
[5:18] perfectly reasonable and how we should
[5:20] act in everyday life. But our emotional
[5:23] system doesn't necessarily operate
[5:24] according to those same rules in
[5:26] everyday life. An emotion doesn't have
[5:28] to be rational. It doesn't have to be
[5:30] proportionate to what's happening. It
[5:31] doesn't have to be helpful, convenient,
[5:33] or even something we agree with. You
[5:37] might sit down to meditate and suddenly
[5:39] notice an enormous amount of anger
[5:40] towards your partner. And perhaps your
[5:42] partner hasn't actually done anything
[5:44] particularly wrong. Maybe they've
[5:46] actually been incredibly supportive of
[5:48] you. And maybe parts of you come in
[5:49] saying, "Hey, they've been really
[5:51] supportive. if I love them very much.
[5:53] But there is still anger there. And
[5:55] almost immediately a part the part that
[5:57] rushes in and says, "Hang on a minute.
[5:59] Why am I angry with them? They haven't
[6:01] done anything wrong. This isn't fair. I
[6:03] shouldn't be feeling this anger." And
[6:05] this is where we start to recognize the
[6:08] difference between our emotional
[6:09] experience and our relationship to that
[6:12] experience in our meditation. This anger
[6:14] is simply showing up. We don't
[6:16] necessarily need to understand why it's
[6:18] there. We don't need to justify it. We
[6:20] don't need to decide whether it's fair
[6:21] or correct. And we certainly don't need
[6:23] to act on it. We can just begin in our
[6:26] meditation to recognize, okay, there's
[6:28] anger here. Doesn't matter what the
[6:29] subject of the anger is. And perhaps
[6:31] there's a lot of anger there. Perhaps it
[6:33] feels completely disproportionate to the
[6:36] actual situation. Perhaps there's an
[6:38] urge to scream, to swear, to blame
[6:40] someone, or to say things we'd never
[6:42] actually want to say out loud to them.
[6:44] In meditation, we give ourselves an
[6:47] opportunity to notice those experiences
[6:50] without a having to act them out or
[6:52] immediately shut them down. And this is
[6:55] something I think people really struggle
[6:56] with because they confuse allowing an
[6:58] emotion with agreeing with it. They
[7:01] confuse allowing an emotion with
[7:02] agreeing with it. But those are two
[7:04] completely separate things. You can
[7:06] allow anger in your meditation without
[7:08] believing that someone deserves your
[7:10] anger. You can allow jealousy without
[7:12] believing you have to without believing
[7:15] the reason of the jealousy. You don't
[7:18] have to agree with the reason of the
[7:20] jealousy in the moment. You can allow
[7:22] fear without believing that there's
[7:24] actually something dangerous happening.
[7:26] I often tell people in my sessions a
[7:28] story about how I'll often experience
[7:32] fear when someone is walking outside a
[7:35] room that I'm in. If I'm in a room by
[7:36] myself and I hear someone walking
[7:38] outside that room, I experience fear.
[7:40] fear. My body experiences fear. And I
[7:42] know because I've done a lot of IFS
[7:44] therapy. I've done a lot of therapy that
[7:46] growing up I would be afraid of one of
[7:50] my parents coming in my room and
[7:51] chastising me. I'd hear them outside
[7:53] maybe and I thought, "Oh god, have I
[7:54] done something wrong?" And I'd
[7:55] immediately feel fear. Now, as an adult,
[7:58] I know there's no one coming outside,
[8:00] coming in to storm in my room to
[8:01] chastise me. I know that's not happening
[8:03] anymore. So, I know when that fear shows
[8:04] up, it's irrational. But I don't even
[8:07] though a part of me comes in and says,
[8:09] "Hey, there's no one outside coming to
[8:10] get you anymore." Fear is showing up in
[8:12] my body. So, I've learned to just allow
[8:13] it to be there. Even though I don't
[8:15] agree with it, even though it's no
[8:16] longer relevant or rational, I've
[8:18] learned what it means to experience fear
[8:19] in the body. For me, the fear can show
[8:22] up as shallowess in the breath. It can
[8:23] show up as a void in the chest. It can
[8:25] make internally me feel a bit shaky. And
[8:27] I don't try and correct it. I don't try
[8:29] and comfort it. I just let it be afraid.
[8:32] [snorts]
[8:34] It's the same with any other emotion.
[8:35] And you can allow an emotion without
[8:37] needing to make it disappear.
[8:39] There's another important distinction
[8:41] here. Sometimes when people hear me
[8:42] talking about allowing emotions to
[8:44] become intense, they think that they
[8:46] need to make the emotions bigger. That
[8:48] if they're feeling a little bit of
[8:49] sadness, they should somehow turn it
[8:52] into enormous grief. Or if they're
[8:53] feeling fear, they should try to
[8:55] experience as much fear as possible.
[8:58] That's not what we're doing. Sometimes
[8:59] you feel emotions and they get bigger,
[9:01] but sometimes they say the same. We're
[9:03] not manufacturing emotional intensity.
[9:05] We're simply learning not to
[9:06] automatically interfere with what's
[9:08] already happening. We're trying to let
[9:10] go of control. Sometimes that might mean
[9:12] the emotion gets bigger. Sometimes it
[9:14] remains quite subtle. Sometimes it might
[9:17] disappear the emotion almost
[9:19] immediately. And if something becomes
[9:21] overwhelming
[9:22] in general in our meditation, we can
[9:24] choose to slow down. We don't have to
[9:26] just just really just try our best to
[9:28] stay with something if it's
[9:29] overwhelming. We can slow down. And we
[9:31] can open our eyes in the meditation. We
[9:33] can feel our feet on the floor. We can
[9:35] we can take a break from the meditation.
[9:37] We don't need to flood ourselves with
[9:38] emotion to prove we're allowing it to
[9:40] get better. We can take our time with
[9:42] it. It's a skill that we're learning.
[9:44] The point is that we're gradually
[9:46] learning that our emotions don't have to
[9:47] follow the rules of our thinking mind
[9:50] that that our thinking mind has created
[9:52] for them. The rules our thinking mind
[9:54] has created for emotions is the emotions
[9:56] have to make sense in order for them to
[9:58] be allowed to be there. In meditation,
[10:00] we can drop that rule. They don't have
[10:02] to make sense. They can be there any
[10:05] order, any intensity, for any length of
[10:07] time, for any reason. They can be messy.
[10:10] They can be contradictory. They can be
[10:11] uncomfortable. They can be completely
[10:14] unexpected. Just show up for no reason.
[10:17] They don't have to make sense before
[10:18] we're willing to give them space. So,
[10:22] [clears throat] that's number one of the
[10:24] six. Number two
[10:26] is you don't have to know what you're
[10:28] feeling. This is a really important one.
[10:29] The second thing I want you to
[10:31] understand is that you don't necessarily
[10:33] need to know what emotion you're
[10:35] experiencing when you're meditating.
[10:38] This is going to be a relief for a lot
[10:39] of people watching this cuz they always
[10:41] say, "I don't know what emotion I'm
[10:42] feeling because it's one of the things I
[10:44] hear all the time. I sit down to
[10:45] meditate, but I don't know what I'm
[10:47] feeling. I can't tell whether it's fear
[10:49] or sadness or anger. I just notice that
[10:52] there's an uncomfortable sensation in my
[10:53] body and I don't know what to do with
[10:55] it. It's absolutely fine. It's normal.
[10:59] One of the most important things we're
[11:01] developing through meditation is the
[11:03] ability to to come out of our thinking
[11:05] mind and become more familiar with the
[11:07] sensations we're experiencing in the
[11:09] body. That's all we're doing. And
[11:12] emotions often have a physical
[11:13] component. We know we're feeling an
[11:15] emotion because there's some sort of
[11:16] physics. Fear might show up as tightness
[11:18] in the chest, shallow in the breath,
[11:20] arrestous feeling in the legs. Anger
[11:22] might show up as heat, tension in the
[11:24] jaw, or a sense of pressure building
[11:26] somewhere. sadness might show up as
[11:27] heaviness, a lump in the throat, or a
[11:30] feeling of emptiness. You don't
[11:32] necessarily need to label any of those
[11:34] experiences as, oh, that's fear, that's
[11:36] anger, that's sadness. You don't have to
[11:38] sit there thinking, right, this
[11:40] tightness in my chest must be fear. And
[11:42] if it's fear, what am I afraid of? And
[11:44] what am I afraid? Why am I afraid of
[11:45] that? You don't need to be doing that in
[11:47] your meditation because now we've simply
[11:49] moved away from experiences,
[11:51] experiencing what's happening, and we're
[11:52] back into trying to figure everything
[11:54] out. You don't need to do that
[11:55] meditation. I want to make a distinction
[11:57] here.
[12:00] Not every physical sensation is
[12:02] necessarily an emotion. That's also
[12:03] true. Our bodies produce sensations for
[12:05] all sorts of reasons. And we don't need
[12:07] to assume that every uncomfortable
[12:09] feeling has some hidden emotional
[12:12] meaning. But when we're meditating, we
[12:15] don't necessarily need to know the cause
[12:17] of every sensation in order to practice
[12:19] being present with it. We don't need to
[12:20] know what the sensation is or which
[12:22] emotion is there. Perhaps you notice
[12:24] restis in the legs. Okay, what does it
[12:26] actually feel like to stay with it? Does
[12:28] it get bigger? Does it move around? Does
[12:30] it stay the same? Perhaps there's
[12:32] tightness in your stomach. Can you
[12:33] notice the tightness without immediately
[12:36] needing to change it? Can you just let
[12:37] it stay the same? Let it get bigger, let
[12:39] it move around. Perhaps your breathing
[12:41] feels shallow. Can you notice that a
[12:44] part of you is wanting to take a big
[12:46] deep breath and make the experience more
[12:48] comfortable? And instead of doing that,
[12:50] maybe you don't take the breath, you
[12:53] know, or maybe you do take the breath,
[12:54] and that's okay, too. We're not trying
[12:56] to turn this into another rigid set of
[12:58] rules. We're just trying to be with our
[12:59] experience and see what happens if we
[13:01] let it just be exactly as it is. We're
[13:03] not trying to correct it. We don't need
[13:04] to agree with it. We don't need to know
[13:06] why it's there. Something is happening.
[13:08] Some state of being is happening. Can I
[13:10] just stay with it as it is? Let it stay
[13:13] the same. Let it get bigger. Let it do
[13:15] whatever it wants in any order, any
[13:17] intensity, any length of time, for
[13:19] whatever reason. We're simply becoming
[13:21] more aware of what's happening in our
[13:24] meditation. All it means is come back to
[13:26] the body. Come back to the body. Come
[13:28] back to the body. And sometimes, sorry
[13:31] the [clears throat] camera keeps shaking
[13:32] because I'm looking at some of my notes
[13:34] so I remember what to say. Sometimes the
[13:36] most useful thing you can do is stop
[13:39] trying to work out what experience means
[13:41] and become a little more curious about
[13:43] what it actually feels like. Because the
[13:46] whole point of the meditation isn't to
[13:48] become an expert at labeling emotions.
[13:50] It's to develop a more comfortable
[13:52] relationship with being in your body.
[13:54] Come back to the body over and over
[13:55] again. So that's [clears throat] number
[13:58] two. Number three, the parts of you that
[14:02] don't want to feel are welcome to. the
[14:04] resistant parts, the protective parts.
[14:06] This third point is probably one of the
[14:08] most important things I want you to take
[14:09] away from this video because so many
[14:12] people misunderstand allowing as
[14:14] something that can only happen once
[14:16] they've stopped resisting. If any parts
[14:19] of them are not allowing, then they've
[14:20] got to get rid of those parts. We can
[14:22] only allow things from now on. Okay? So,
[14:25] people come to me and they say or they
[14:27] think, "Okay, I need to allow my anger,
[14:29] but I'm afraid of my anger. So first I
[14:31] need to get rid of the fear of the anger
[14:33] and then I'll be able to allow the
[14:35] anger.
[14:36] But that's not how this works, right? So
[14:40] let's go back to an example of
[14:42] meditation. You're sitting in meditation
[14:44] and you notice a lot of anger towards
[14:47] your partner perhaps and then almost
[14:49] immediately another part of you comes in
[14:52] feeling afraid of that anger. It doesn't
[14:53] want to allow it. It's scared of it.
[14:55] Maybe it's thinking this isn't good.
[14:58] What if this anger makes my symptoms
[14:59] worse? What if I lose control? What if
[15:02] feeling this means there's something
[15:03] wrong with my relationship? So a part
[15:06] comes in not wanting to allow the anger
[15:08] and suddenly you notice there's fear
[15:09] towards the anger. Now what a lot of
[15:12] people do at this point is try to calm
[15:13] that fear down. They start reassuring
[15:16] themselves. They start trying to relax.
[15:18] They start telling themselves that
[15:20] everything's okay. And you know there's
[15:23] nothing inherently wrong with
[15:24] reassurance or relaxation. Those things
[15:26] can be useful in certain situations. But
[15:29] in meditation, what I want you to become
[15:31] curious about is whether you're doing
[15:32] those things because you generally want
[15:35] to care for yourself or because a part
[15:36] of you believes the fear isn't allowed
[15:38] to be there. Right? Because in this
[15:41] practice in meditation, the fear is also
[15:44] welcome and the anger is welcome and the
[15:46] fear towards the anger is welcome. It's
[15:48] all welcome. And perhaps when you notice
[15:50] the fear, another part of you then
[15:52] becomes frustrated at the fear. It says,
[15:54] "Oh, for sake, why am I resisting
[15:57] again? I've been doing this work for
[15:59] months. I should be better at this by
[16:00] now. Well, that frustration is welcome,
[16:04] too. You can be angry at yourself. You
[16:07] can be afraid of being angry at
[16:08] yourself. You anything can show up.
[16:10] Inner critics can show up. Anger towards
[16:12] a partner can show up. Fear towards that
[16:14] anger can show up. All you're doing is
[16:16] coming back to the body over and over
[16:17] again and letting each next thing arise.
[16:19] Fear can show up a thousand times.
[16:21] Breath can keep showing up. The whole
[16:23] thing can be uncomfortable for 10
[16:24] minutes, right? You're just coming back
[16:26] to the experience and just letting it be
[16:28] there without any rules anymore of oh I
[16:31] shouldn't be angry at myself and oh I
[16:32] shouldn't be angry at them and oh I
[16:33] shouldn't be afraid. It's let yourself
[16:35] feel fear again. Let yourself feel stuck
[16:37] again. Let yourself feel nothing again.
[16:40] Let yourself not like the fact that
[16:41] you're feeling nothing again. All the
[16:42] contradictions.
[16:45] [clears throat] Maybe let's come back to
[16:46] the example. Maybe another part comes in
[16:49] feeling ashamed of the frustration.
[16:52] You can probably see where this is
[16:53] going. I don't want to make this any
[16:55] more confusing. We can have parts
[16:57] reacting to other parts and then more
[16:58] parts reacting to those reactions and
[17:00] before we know it, there's this whole
[17:02] internal conversation happening. There's
[17:04] a big mess. This is one of the reasons I
[17:07] find internal family systems if therapy
[17:10] so helpful. The therapeutic modality
[17:12] that I offer because it gives people a
[17:14] way of understanding that these
[17:16] different responses are coming up for us
[17:18] aren't necessarily problems we need to
[17:20] eliminate. They're often protective
[17:22] parts of us trying to help us in the
[17:24] ways that they've learned to help us.
[17:26] You know, the part that's afraid of
[17:28] anger might have very good reasons for
[17:30] being afraid of your anger. Perhaps
[17:32] growing up, anger was dangerous. Perhaps
[17:34] expressing anger led to conflict,
[17:36] rejection, or punishment. Perhaps you
[17:38] spent years believing that intense
[17:40] emotions are going to make your physical
[17:42] symptoms worse. So, of course, a part of
[17:46] you might be frightened of anger. And
[17:49] what we're learning is to develop a
[17:50] different relationship with that fearful
[17:52] part rather than telling it to shut up,
[17:55] calm down, or get out of the way. We
[17:57] might simply acknowledge it's here.
[17:59] There's some fear here. It's making me
[18:00] feel this way. It's okay. Okay. There's
[18:03] a part of me that's really afraid of
[18:05] this anger. And perhaps we can become
[18:07] curious about that fear. Notice what it
[18:09] feels like to feel it in the body. And
[18:10] that can be here too.
[18:12] What is it worried might happen? What is
[18:14] it trying to protect us from? All these
[18:17] things get asked in IFS therapy and your
[18:18] meditation experience. You don't even
[18:20] have to ask those questions. You can
[18:21] just go there's fear here now. There's
[18:23] anger here now. There's shame here now.
[18:25] There's breathlessness now.
[18:28] [clears throat]
[18:28] So those questions aren't something you
[18:31] even have to force. It's something we do
[18:32] in therapy. But it's not something you
[18:34] really have to do in your meditation. So
[18:36] perhaps all you're doing is recognizing
[18:38] there's some fear. It doesn't have to
[18:39] dis disappear and that's enough. So,
[18:42] it's obviously why having teachers and
[18:44] guided meditations or therapy, any kind
[18:46] of support can be really helpful because
[18:48] when you're actually inside the
[18:49] experience, someone can help you
[18:51] recognize what's showing up and how you
[18:53] might relate to it differently because
[18:55] it all sounds complex when I speak about
[18:57] this in videos, but actually it's fairly
[18:59] simple and the simplicity of it really
[19:02] really comes forward when someone is
[19:04] showing you what you're experiencing and
[19:05] how to to relate to it. So,
[19:09] uh, it's simpler when you're
[19:11] experiencing it rather than trying to
[19:12] understand it intellectually. But of
[19:14] course, I still have to create these
[19:15] videos so you can understand that you're
[19:16] not going crazy. So, the important thing
[19:19] to remember is that resistance isn't
[19:21] automatically a sign that you're doing
[19:22] something wrong. Resistance is another
[19:26] experience that you can learn to meet
[19:27] with understanding. And sometimes
[19:30] that resistance is the most important
[19:33] thing for us to get to know. So, that's
[19:34] number three. Number four, you don't
[19:37] need to search for emotions or figure
[19:39] them out.
[19:41] The fourth thing I want to talk about is
[19:43] something I see all the time,
[19:45] particularly with people who are very
[19:46] motivated to recover from chronic
[19:48] symptoms.
[19:50] It's the parts of us that are constantly
[19:52] searching, analyzing, and trying to
[19:55] figure things out. When we start to
[19:57] meditate, you sit down and meditate, and
[20:00] perhaps you don't notice much happening
[20:02] at all. There's no obvious anger.
[20:04] There's no sadness. There's no big
[20:06] emotional experience. Maybe there's
[20:08] nothing. There's numbness. And then a
[20:10] part of you starts thinking, "Hang on a
[20:11] minute. I need to be processing
[20:13] emotions. Where are they? Why am I not
[20:15] feeling anything? Am I disconnected from
[20:18] my body? Am I suppressing something? Am
[20:19] I ever going to get better if I feel
[20:21] nothing?" And before you know it, you're
[20:23] searching. You're scanning your body.
[20:26] You're looking for sensations. You're
[20:28] trying to remember something upsetting.
[20:30] You're thinking about your childhood.
[20:32] You're wondering whether there's some
[20:34] hidden emotion that you need to uncover.
[20:38] And enough and and underneath all of
[20:41] that searching, there may be a part of
[20:42] you that's really afraid. The part of
[20:44] you that's searching might be afraid.
[20:47] It's a part that might believe if I
[20:50] don't find the emotion, I'm not going to
[20:52] get better. I need to find emotions to
[20:54] get better. It makes complete sense,
[20:56] particularly if you've been dealing with
[20:58] symptoms for a long time and you've come
[21:00] with this work, to believe that
[21:02] emotional processing is the thing that's
[21:04] going to finally help you recover. It
[21:05] makes sense. You're trying to look for
[21:06] emotions. But can you see what's
[21:09] probably happening? We've turned
[21:10] meditation into another task,
[21:13] something we need to accomplish.
[21:15] And when we don't find what we're
[21:18] looking for, we start feeling like we
[21:20] failed. So rather than following the
[21:24] searching part, so when we go inside,
[21:26] when you recognize a searching part,
[21:28] rather than following it and trying hard
[21:32] to find an emotion, we can begin to
[21:34] notice the searching itself. The part of
[21:38] you searching is not you. It's a part of
[21:40] you. Right? So in your meditation, why
[21:43] we call it mindfulness is you have to
[21:44] become very mindful of noticing, oh,
[21:47] what's occurring for me right now is a
[21:48] part of me is searching. It's not me
[21:50] that's searching. It's a part of me
[21:51] that's searching. And is this part of me
[21:53] that's searching afraid? Is it searching
[21:57] because it believes if we don't find
[21:58] something, we're not going to get
[21:59] better? And if it is afraid,
[22:02] can I just let it be afraid?
[22:04] Right? The emotion that it's looking
[22:06] for, it doesn't need to look for any
[22:08] emotion. The searching itself is the
[22:10] emotion. The part that's searching is
[22:12] feeling an emotion. Let's just feel it.
[22:14] It's fear. [snorts]
[22:16] So you'd go inside
[22:19] and you'll notice a part of you is
[22:21] looking for something and
[22:24] perhaps then we can recognize that this
[22:26] part is frightened. Uh it's worried that
[22:28] if we don't do the work properly, our
[22:30] symptoms are going to continue. So can
[22:34] we have some compassion for that? Can we
[22:35] just allow it to be afraid? We don't
[22:37] necessarily need to actually follow its
[22:39] instructions and look for something. We
[22:41] can just be with its fear. And what
[22:43] happens if just for a moment we stop the
[22:45] searching? What happens if we just allow
[22:47] ourselves not to find anything? You
[22:49] know, we just let it be messiness or
[22:52] nothing. What happens if this meditation
[22:54] doesn't need to produce an enormous
[22:56] emotional breakthrough? Maybe it needs
[22:58] to be boring. The same thing applies to
[23:00] the parts of us that are constantly
[23:02] trying to figure out why we're feeling
[23:04] something. So again, let's go back to
[23:06] our example of anger towards your
[23:08] partner. Perhaps [snorts] you've noticed
[23:10] the anger and now a part of you is
[23:12] trying to understand why am I angry?
[23:15] Is this connected to my childhood? Is it
[23:17] because I don't feel supported? Is it
[23:19] because I'm projecting something into my
[23:21] partner? Is this the emotion that's
[23:24] causing my pain? You start doing a lot
[23:26] of figuring out of the emotion. And
[23:28] perhaps some of those questions could be
[23:29] worth exploring at another time in
[23:32] therapy with journaling. But in your
[23:33] meditation, all the figuring out part is
[23:35] doing is taking you back into the head.
[23:38] Trying to figure out the experience
[23:39] instead of feeling it. Trying to search
[23:41] for something instead of just being in
[23:43] it. Right?
[23:46] And we want to just come back to the
[23:47] body of what does it feel like to be in
[23:48] this regardless of figuring this out or
[23:50] why this is here. You know, I'm I'm
[23:52] certainly not saying that understanding
[23:53] our emotional patterns is unimportant.
[23:56] You know, insight can be incredibly
[23:58] valuable, and there are times when
[23:59] therapy and journaling or reflection can
[24:02] help us make sense of things, but
[24:04] meditation doesn't need to be about
[24:06] finding an explanation. Sometimes the
[24:09] practice is being willing to leave
[24:11] something unresolved. Doesn't matter why
[24:12] this is here. To recognize that there's
[24:15] anger here without needing to know
[24:17] exactly why.
[24:19] It's a very important skill to learn in
[24:21] meditation because so much of our need
[24:22] to figure things out is actually an
[24:24] attempt to regain control of our
[24:26] experience. We think if we can
[24:28] understand why this emotion is here,
[24:30] we'll be able to manage it. If we can
[24:32] explain it, perhaps it won't feel so
[24:35] threatening to us anymore. But what
[24:37] happens when we don't have an
[24:39] explanation to the emotion? Can we still
[24:42] allow ourselves to have an experience
[24:45] even if we don't know why it's here?
[24:48] One more thing I want to add here is
[24:49] that the searching part itself doesn't
[24:51] need to become another enemy. The
[24:52] searching parts and the figuring out
[24:53] parts. You know, if you notice yourself
[24:55] searching, you don't need to get
[24:56] frustrated and try to force yourself to
[24:59] stop. You can notice, oh, there's a part
[25:01] of me searching now. It's okay. I
[25:03] understand why this is happening. You
[25:04] can notice the fear underneath the
[25:06] searching if it's there and gently come
[25:09] back to what's actually happening in
[25:11] your body in the moment. But you don't
[25:12] have to have a war on the searching part
[25:14] or the figuring out part. You know, even
[25:17] if even if very little is happening in
[25:19] the body, you come back to the bodily
[25:21] experience. You may have to catch
[25:22] yourself searching and figuring out over
[25:24] and over again. For a lot of people when
[25:26] they start meditating, they're just
[25:28] doing a lot of searching a lot and a lot
[25:29] of figuring out. I don't want you to
[25:31] think that that's inherently a problem.
[25:33] You're going to be doing a lot of that
[25:34] when you first start your meditation.
[25:36] You just may have to just catch yourself
[25:38] over and over again. Okay, I'm searching
[25:40] again. Come back to the body. Okay, I'm
[25:42] figuring things out again. Come back to
[25:43] the body. And what what you may notice
[25:45] in the body is very subtle.
[25:47] [snorts]
[25:48] As you can see over and over again, even
[25:50] though I'm trying to explain all the
[25:51] nuances of the meditation, I'm trying to
[25:53] simplify it for you so that you
[25:54] understand that you're going to have a
[25:56] lot of these experiences that are going
[25:57] to feel wrong. You're going to go into
[25:59] the mind a lot more than you probably
[26:00] should. But over time, as with every any
[26:03] skill, you're going to learn that all
[26:04] you really need to do is meditation is
[26:06] come back to the body, allow things in
[26:08] any order, for any intensity, for any
[26:11] length of time, for for whatever reason.
[26:13] You just completely surrender to there's
[26:15] a bit of fear. There's a bit of shame.
[26:16] There's searching. I'm coming back to
[26:18] the body. It's messy. I don't know
[26:19] what's going on now. It doesn't feel
[26:21] like yesterday's meditation.
[26:24] The whole purpose what we're teaching
[26:25] our system over and over again. And how
[26:27] chronic symptoms eventually lessen is I
[26:29] can be with anything that arises for me
[26:31] on today's meditation. Doesn't matter if
[26:33] it look like looks like yesterday's
[26:35] meditation. Doesn't matter if it's messy
[26:36] today. It doesn't matter if something
[26:38] new is showing up. I I'm not controlling
[26:41] meditation like I control my everyday
[26:42] life. After meditation, you can go back
[26:44] to controlling. You can go back to being
[26:46] kind and comforted and convenienced. In
[26:48] meditation today, I don't care what
[26:51] happens. It doesn't have to look like
[26:52] yesterday. Doesn't have to look like the
[26:54] one that felt really good. It can just
[26:56] be boring the whole time. There could be
[26:58] nothing there. The value of being with
[27:00] our experience in meditation is that
[27:02] we're showing the system it's safe for
[27:03] me to be with this thing that I can't
[27:05] control. I don't know what's going to
[27:06] happen next. Things could get intense.
[27:08] things could go back to being boring.
[27:10] Could be relaxing one moment and then
[27:11] back to fear. Surrender, surrender,
[27:13] surrender. So, number four, long video.
[27:17] I hope you're you're still with me.
[27:18] We're at the home stretch. Number five
[27:20] and number six to come. Number five is
[27:22] you don't you don't get to control what
[27:25] happens next. So, this goes gets into
[27:27] control. It brings this fifth point
[27:29] really. It brings everything together
[27:31] about what we've spoken about so far.
[27:33] Because ultimately a big part of what
[27:34] we're practicing in meditation is
[27:36] letting go of our need to control the
[27:38] experience,
[27:39] right? It's where things can get really
[27:42] uncomfortable for people in meditation.
[27:44] So let's say that you're sitting with
[27:47] fear. You're noticing fear in
[27:48] meditation. Again, it doesn't matter
[27:50] what the reason of the fear is. Could be
[27:51] you fear the symptoms. It could be you
[27:53] fear something that you you fear you're
[27:56] wasting time in your meditation. It
[27:57] could be you fear you're doing the
[27:58] meditation wrong. It could be that
[27:59] you're afraid of yourself. It could be
[28:01] that you're angry at yourself. It could
[28:02] be that you're afraid of something that
[28:03] happened in your day. Doesn't matter why
[28:05] the fear is here. Remember, doesn't
[28:06] matter why the fear is here. Subject
[28:08] doesn't matter. But let's say you notice
[28:10] fear and you realize, okay, it doesn't
[28:11] matter why this fear is here. There's
[28:12] fear. And then you notice, how do I
[28:15] experience this fear in the body? What's
[28:16] what what is my experience of fear? How
[28:18] do I notice that there's fear here? Is
[28:19] it because I'm having fearful thoughts?
[28:21] Or is it because [snorts] I noticed that
[28:24] there's some sensation in my chest?
[28:26] Maybe you recognize that a part of you
[28:28] is afraid in some way and
[28:31] you've decided, okay, I'm not going to
[28:34] try and get rid of it. I'm gonna give it
[28:36] space. So, let's say you're at this
[28:37] stage. You've noticed there's some fear
[28:39] for some reason. You don't mind what the
[28:40] reason is. You're noticing how the fear
[28:43] is being experienc experienced. Okay,
[28:44] there's something in my chest or maybe
[28:46] there's passing thoughts or maybe
[28:47] there's a shallowess in the breath. I'm
[28:49] just being with the experience of fear
[28:51] in the body right now. And you've
[28:52] decided, I'm going to give it space. I'm
[28:53] just going to let the fear be here as it
[28:55] is right now. So let's say you've made
[28:57] that decision. Now
[29:00] what happens next after you've decided
[29:02] I'm just going to allow this to be here.
[29:03] Well, I don't know what's going to
[29:05] happen for you next. And that's the
[29:06] point. When you decide that to allow
[29:08] fear to be here, it may get bigger. Your
[29:11] fear may intensify. You may notice more
[29:12] the sensation or it may stay exactly the
[29:15] same. Or suddenly you might notice
[29:17] sadness or might you might suddenly
[29:20] notice anger for again for any reasons.
[29:22] You might become aware of a physical
[29:24] sensation somewhere else in your body
[29:26] suddenly or nothing particularly
[29:28] interesting might happen at all. You
[29:30] might go go back to feeling nothingness.
[29:32] All of those experiences are possible.
[29:34] Infinite experiences could happen next.
[29:36] What people often do is they start
[29:38] monitoring the experience to see whether
[29:41] allowing is working.
[29:43] They think okay I'm allowing my fear for
[29:46] a few moments.
[29:47] Should it go away now? Should it get
[29:49] smaller? Should I be feeling calmer now?
[29:52] Should I be feeling more of it? And now
[29:55] we're trying to control the outcome.
[29:56] Again, we're using allowing as another
[29:59] strategy for to to get rid of something.
[30:02] And this is such an important
[30:03] distinction in your meditation. Again,
[30:05] having a teacher in front of you can
[30:06] really help. Allowing is not a trick for
[30:08] making an emotion disappear. If we sit
[30:11] down with the intention of allowing fear
[30:13] purely so that fear will go away, then
[30:16] there's still a part of us trying to get
[30:17] rid of fear. Right? Everyone does this.
[30:21] That part is welcome as well. By the
[30:22] way, it's it's important that we
[30:24] recognize what's happening. I'm only
[30:25] allowing this so that it will go away.
[30:27] We're learning to be with our experience
[30:29] rather than constantly trying to direct
[30:31] it towards a particular outcome. And I
[30:34] think this is especially relevant when
[30:36] it comes to chronic symptoms because
[30:37] it's very easy to turn every meditation
[30:40] into a test of whether we're actually
[30:42] getting better at it. Did I feel enough
[30:45] emotion today? Did my pain reduce
[30:47] afterwards? Did I have a big
[30:49] breakthrough? Was that a good
[30:50] meditation, but meditation doesn't have
[30:53] to be measured in that way at all? You
[30:56] might have a meditation
[30:58] where you do feel an an enormous amount
[31:00] of grief and you come out feeling
[31:02] lighter at the end. You might have
[31:04] another one where you spend the whole
[31:06] time noticing that you're restless,
[31:07] noticing that you're in the mind,
[31:09] noticing frustration. You might have
[31:11] another meditation where you feel
[31:13] peaceful the whole time. You might have
[31:15] another meditation where you don't feel
[31:16] much at all.
[31:18] None of those experiences in meditation
[31:21] automatically tells us how much healing
[31:23] has happened. Doesn't matter how the
[31:25] meditation looks. It's also
[31:29] why I talk about emotional intensity a
[31:31] lot because people come into this as
[31:32] always thinking they have to have big
[31:34] emotional experiences if they're going
[31:36] to get better.
[31:38] Because
[31:40] when I say we're learning to let go of
[31:42] control, I'm not saying we should force
[31:44] ourselves to endure overwhelming
[31:46] emotional experiences. There's a
[31:48] difference between allowing an emotion
[31:51] and pushing ourselves beyond what we can
[31:54] comfortably comfortably stay present
[31:56] with in the moment. Sometimes the most
[31:58] helpful thing we can do is slow down if
[32:00] the meditation feels a bit too much.
[32:02] Perhaps we're experiencing a lot of fear
[32:04] and rather than trying to sit with all
[32:05] of that at once, we spend a few moments
[32:08] feeling our feet on the ground, noticing
[32:10] the room around us or connecting with
[32:12] something that feels reassuring. And
[32:15] then perhaps we come back to the emotion
[32:17] again.
[32:19] This is something we sometimes call
[32:20] pendulation. I have pendulation
[32:22] meditations, guided ones on this channel
[32:24] where we move between something
[32:26] difficult that's happening and then we
[32:29] go to something that feels more
[32:30] manageable. So, if you haven't if you
[32:32] don't know what a pendulation meditation
[32:33] is, you can find it on my channel. I
[32:35] have a guided pendulation meditation. If
[32:38] meditation currently for you feels
[32:39] overwhelming and confusing and you don't
[32:41] know what to do, do a pendulation
[32:43] meditation because that will help you be
[32:46] in the discomfort of what the hell is
[32:47] happening and I can't control this and
[32:49] you come and then you intentionally come
[32:50] back to somewhere that feels safe. Like
[32:52] you intentionally come back to relaxing
[32:54] the breath. I know earlier I said let
[32:56] the breath not be relaxed. Yes. in a
[32:59] 100% allowing meditation. That's what
[33:00] we're practicing doing. But when we
[33:02] first start this practice, you may want
[33:04] to start with something called a
[33:05] pendulation meditation where you go,
[33:08] yes, 100% allowing for a bit and then
[33:10] I'm going to do a bit of soothing and
[33:11] relaxing and then I'm going to go back
[33:13] to allowing. So you pendulate, you go
[33:15] between the two. So [snorts] we're not
[33:17] abandoning the practice when we do that.
[33:19] Often when people start this practice,
[33:21] just doing allowing is so confusing and
[33:23] overwhelming and complex that the
[33:24] pendulation meditations are a good way
[33:26] to start. So if you don't know what
[33:28] those are, you can find them on my
[33:30] channel. It's a great way to start. So
[33:32] yes, we're not about we're not just
[33:34] because we're doing pendulation, it
[33:35] doesn't mean that we're not going to get
[33:36] better. That's often the first skill
[33:38] that we need to learn. Just doing a bit
[33:39] of allowing and then a bit of calming
[33:41] and then a bit of allowing and a bit of
[33:42] a bit of calming. And eventually over
[33:44] time, the pendulation meditations, we
[33:46] graduate and we can just do meditations
[33:48] where we're just allowing eventually. So
[33:52] So [sighs] let's keep going. And we're
[33:54] learning how to be with our experience
[33:57] in a way that our system can gradually
[33:59] become more comfortable with. Gradually,
[34:02] it's an important thing to say because
[34:04] the goal isn't to become someone who can
[34:06] tolerate unlimited amounts of emotional
[34:08] distress immediately. Eventually,
[34:11] you'll be able to do allowing
[34:12] meditations more consistently. Um, but
[34:15] still, like I've been doing allowing
[34:16] meditations for over 10 years now.
[34:18] Still, something emotionally charged
[34:20] could be coming up in any given
[34:21] meditation and it feels like a lot. So
[34:26] with the allowing meditations, what
[34:27] happens when we first start doing them
[34:28] is the pendulation meditations could be
[34:30] an easier way to start and then
[34:32] eventually we start doing the allowing
[34:33] meditations. Uh just pure just doing
[34:36] pure allowing the whole time or
[34:37] attempting to do pure allowing the whole
[34:39] time and that will gradually in a safe
[34:42] way teach the system that the symptoms
[34:43] no longer need to be here. The goal is
[34:45] to develop more flexibility, more
[34:48] understanding and less fear around
[34:50] around what happens inside us. Sometimes
[34:53] that involves allowing an emotion to get
[34:55] to become bigger. Sometimes it may
[34:57] involve giving ourselves a break or just
[34:59] doing pendulation meditations instead.
[35:01] And learning to recognize the difference
[35:03] is part of the process. That's number
[35:05] five. So coming on to number six. Again,
[35:09] if any of this feels complex, I promise
[35:12] you it isn't. I'm going to say this
[35:13] again at the end. It's a lot simpler
[35:15] when you just start the practice. Start
[35:17] going inside and meditating.
[35:19] uh get a teacher, get a guide if you
[35:21] need and you'll recognize that all we're
[35:24] doing is just coming back to the body
[35:26] and letting things just go out of
[35:27] control and stay the same if they need
[35:29] to or do what they need to. But but
[35:31] still, let's mention number six and then
[35:33] I'll summarize this soon. So number six
[35:36] is allowing an emotion isn't the same as
[35:38] becoming consumed by it, right? It's a
[35:41] final understanding I want to talk about
[35:43] and I I think this is particularly
[35:45] important when we're dealing with strong
[35:47] emotions. if you're experiencing strong
[35:49] emotions. I know not everyone is at
[35:50] first because there's a difference
[35:52] between allowing an emotion and becoming
[35:54] completely consumed by it, right? It's
[35:57] it's something again that IFS therapy
[35:59] helps us understand really well because
[36:02] in IFS we talk about something called
[36:04] blending.
[36:06] Blending in if therapy is when we become
[36:09] so identified with a particular part of
[36:11] ourselves that it feels like the part is
[36:13] all of who we are. It feels like we're
[36:15] the part. So let's go back to that
[36:17] example of anger towards your partner.
[36:19] You might be sitting in meditation and
[36:21] noticing that anger and at first there's
[36:24] a sense that you're aware of the anger.
[36:27] You notice, okay, there's anger here.
[36:28] You can feel it in your body. Perhaps
[36:30] you can notice the thoughts associated
[36:32] with it. You can recognize that there's
[36:34] a part of you that's furious. But then
[36:37] perhaps you become completely caught up
[36:39] in the story of the anger. You start
[36:41] thinking about everything about your
[36:42] partner, everything that they've done
[36:44] wrong. You start mentally arguing with
[36:46] them. You start building a case against
[36:48] them. You become more and more convinced
[36:50] that they're the problem. I mean, they
[36:52] could be, but say for this example that
[36:54] they're not. And suddenly, rather than
[36:56] being with the anger, you're completely
[36:57] inside the anger. You've become blended
[37:00] with that angry part. Now, this isn't
[37:03] something to judge yourself for. It's a
[37:05] very normal experience in meditation. It
[37:06] happens to all of us. You can just be
[37:07] distracted by the story of the anger for
[37:09] 10 minutes of meditation. But it's
[37:11] helpful to begin recognizing the
[37:13] difference because when we're allowing
[37:15] an emotion, we're not necessarily trying
[37:17] to become the emotion. We're not
[37:19] involving oursel too heavily in the
[37:21] story. We're learning how to be with it
[37:22] in the body. And sometimes that might
[37:25] mean gently recognizing, okay, there's a
[37:27] part of me that's really angry right now
[37:29] and it wants to come up with all the
[37:30] things and plans that we're going to do.
[37:32] It's just it's just a small shift in
[37:34] language can help us create a little bit
[37:36] of space. We can go, there's anger. I'm
[37:38] furious at my at my partner. it's an
[37:40] absolute nightmare. Um, instead of that,
[37:44] we can say
[37:46] instead of starting to plan the things
[37:48] that we're going to say to our partner
[37:49] and everything that we're going to do,
[37:50] we can say, okay, there's a feeling of
[37:52] anger towards my partner. How does that
[37:54] feel to experience that anger right now?
[37:56] Not what am I going to do with that
[37:57] anger and how am I going to plan for it?
[38:00] What am I going to do with this anger
[38:01] right now? And perhaps you then become
[38:05] curious about that part. What does it
[38:07] mean when I allow the anger to be here?
[38:09] uh does it get bigger? Does it stay the
[38:10] same?
[38:12] Does it move around? Does it turn into
[38:14] fear suddenly? Is there a part of me
[38:16] afraid uh of the anger in some way? But
[38:19] we we don't need to get too involved in
[38:21] the story. You know, it's not something
[38:23] that we have to work out with the
[38:25] emotion. Again, we don't have to figure
[38:26] it out. Sometimes simply recognizing
[38:28] that we're caught up in an emotion is
[38:30] enough to change our relationship with
[38:31] it. Okay, I've been distracted by the
[38:33] thoughts of anger for 10 minutes. Now,
[38:34] I'm going to come back to the body.
[38:35] Because when we're very blended with an
[38:37] emotion, it can feel really
[38:38] overwhelming. We can get completely
[38:40] distracted by it and before we know it,
[38:42] we're just in some elaborate story. So,
[38:46] what I want anyone watching this to
[38:47] really understand is allowing ourselves
[38:50] to feel an emotion
[38:53] in the body is different to getting
[38:56] consumed by the thoughts and just fully
[38:59] into the story and doing all sorts of
[39:00] plans. Again, we could do that in
[39:02] journaling. We could do that after the
[39:04] meditation. We we have to become quite
[39:06] adept in meditation to go okay there's
[39:08] anger here towards someone or towards
[39:10] myself or towards something or fear
[39:12] towards someone or something myself
[39:13] rather than getting involved in this
[39:15] trying to figure it out or planning for
[39:17] something. Allowing does not mean
[39:20] getting involved in the story. It means
[39:22] being in the body with it.
[39:24] Even if you're not experiencing a lot in
[39:26] the body and then when you're with it in
[39:27] the body not controlling what happens
[39:29] next. It can stay the same. It can
[39:30] lessen. It can intensify. So
[39:35] it's number six. So
[39:38] giving emotions room, allowing them to
[39:42] be there is not the same as getting
[39:43] controlled by the thoughts. Over time it
[39:45] can help us respond differently to
[39:47] situations in our life with a bit more
[39:49] choice because
[39:51] maybe then in everyday life we can
[39:52] recognize anger without immediately
[39:54] acting on it. So meditation is often
[39:57] described as a process as a skill that
[39:59] can help us awaken in the ordinary
[40:01] moments of life. When we learn in our
[40:03] meditation how to be with an emotion
[40:04] without figuring it out, getting lost in
[40:06] it or you know uh moving away from it
[40:09] when we can just learn to be with it in
[40:11] the body, we notice that that emotion
[40:13] may get bigger, may stay the same, may
[40:15] go away, but it has a lifespan.
[40:18] If it gets bigger, it gets bigger for a
[40:19] while and then it suddenly it peaks and
[40:21] then it goes away. Meditation shows us
[40:23] that emotions have lifespans. It may
[40:26] come back a minute later. The anger may
[40:27] just suddenly flood you again. But you
[40:30] begin to notice, you begin to trust
[40:32] emotions kind of rise and fall, you
[40:35] know, in in their own timeline, but
[40:37] actually it's not so scary to be with
[40:38] them. And then in an ordinary moment
[40:40] when we feel a lot of anger, suddenly we
[40:43] don't act on it in the same way because
[40:44] we're better able. We have more capacity
[40:46] to just be with it in the body without
[40:48] saying something that we'll regret or
[40:50] lashing out or acting on the emotion.
[40:52] When we learn how to be with the emotion
[40:54] instead of acting on it or getting lost
[40:55] in it or trying to solve it or figure it
[40:58] out, just be with it in the body, that
[41:00] helps us in meditation. It helps us with
[41:01] chronic symptoms. And it helps us in
[41:03] everyday life. Helps us become calmer in
[41:06] situations where we're flooded with
[41:07] emotion because we know how to be with
[41:09] it. Often [snorts]
[41:10] what why why people end up lashing out
[41:13] in the car or lashing out in different
[41:14] situations is they're uncomfortable with
[41:16] the emotion. So they they they
[41:19] express it out loud. If you learn how to
[41:21] be with it in the body, it actually
[41:22] creates a lot more calm in everyday
[41:24] life. Feels counterintuitive. Learning
[41:27] to allow anger makes you less of an
[41:28] angry person. So
[41:32] you know it's the same with other
[41:33] emotions. We can recognize fear without
[41:34] automatically following everything fear
[41:36] tells us to do. So we can recognize
[41:39] sadness as well without needing to
[41:40] become completely lost in it. Just
[41:41] allowing the experience knowing that
[41:43] there's a lifespan. It's it's where the
[41:45] practice becomes very uh valuable, the
[41:47] meditation practice, because we're not
[41:48] just learning how to feel emotions,
[41:51] we're learning how to relate to
[41:52] ourselves differently in the experience
[41:54] of emotions. So that's number six. So
[41:58] what does all of this look like in
[41:59] everyday life? Let's bring this video to
[42:01] a close. So outside of meditation
[42:04] uh you know so far I've spoken about
[42:06] what happens when we sit down to
[42:07] meditate. That's what I've spoken about
[42:08] in those six points. But there's a
[42:10] reason I speak about that the the the
[42:12] meditation because when we meditate
[42:13] we're deliberately creating some time
[42:15] and space to explore what's happening
[42:17] inside of us. We're not trying to get to
[42:20] work. We're not having to look after our
[42:22] children. We're trying to have a
[42:24] difficult We're not trying to have a
[42:25] difficult conversation with our partner
[42:26] in meditation. We're giving ourselves an
[42:29] opportunity to turn our attention inward
[42:31] and notice that that the things that we
[42:34] might otherwise be p too busy to
[42:36] recognize. Sorry, I'm getting
[42:37] tongue-tied. I've I've said so many
[42:39] things now. In meditation, we we're
[42:42] giving oursel that time to to see things
[42:43] that we don't usually recognize. It's
[42:46] why
[42:47] things like meditation, journaling, and
[42:49] therapy can be so valuable. They all
[42:51] have different values those three
[42:53] modalities but they they become so
[42:54] valuable because it gives us different
[42:57] types of support. Uh it gives us a safe
[43:00] space to explore our internal experience
[43:03] the likes of which we won't usually
[43:05] wouldn't usually get to experience in
[43:07] everyday life. Right? [snorts]
[43:09] Meditation can help us become more
[43:11] familiar with sensations rather than
[43:14] getting lost in the emotions. And
[43:17] meditation helps us with emotions and
[43:19] the different parts of us uh showing up
[43:22] in different orders. It it it helps us
[43:25] learn what's happening in the body
[43:26] rather than getting flooded and trying
[43:27] to work out what's happening. That's
[43:28] what meditation helps us with.
[43:31] Journaling has a different value.
[43:33] Journaling can give us an opportunity to
[43:34] express things that perhaps we don't
[43:36] feel comfortable expressing to other
[43:38] people in everyday life or to explore
[43:39] thoughts and emotions in a more
[43:41] deliberate way. So meditation,
[43:42] journaling, they're valuable in
[43:43] different ways. and therapy can provide
[43:46] support, guidance, and a relationship in
[43:48] which we can explore experiences that
[43:50] might be difficult to approach on our
[43:52] own. So, I've spoken about all of this
[43:54] in another video about the different
[43:55] benefits of meditation, journaling, and
[43:57] therapy. So, I'm not going to go into
[43:59] all of that here. Please watch that
[44:00] video. But the important thing is that
[44:02] these practices gives gives us the
[44:04] opportunity to develop skills that we
[44:06] can gradually bring into our ordinary
[44:08] life because ordinary life is different.
[44:11] You might be sitting in a meeting at
[44:13] work and suddenly notice a lot of
[44:14] anxiety or your pain suddenly comes on.
[44:17] You might be having dinner with your
[44:18] family and you become irritated. You
[44:20] might be driving somewhere and notice
[44:22] that your chest feels tight and your
[44:24] breathing has become shallow. So you're
[44:26] in an ordinary moment noticing these
[44:28] things. And in those situations, you
[44:30] don't necessarily have the opportunity
[44:32] to stop everything and spend half an
[44:34] hour exploring what's happening inside
[44:36] in a meditation. and you don't need to.
[44:40] Allowing an everyday life can become
[44:41] much simpler. Perhaps you notice there's
[44:44] a lot of anxiety here today in the body.
[44:47] And perhaps you also notice a part of
[44:49] you that really doesn't want that
[44:50] anxiety to be there. You don't
[44:53] necessarily need to do anything more
[44:54] than acknowledge that in an ordinary
[44:56] moment that's happening in my body right
[44:57] now. I can see that. You can continue
[44:59] with your day, right? And then later get
[45:02] to your meditation and really sit with
[45:03] it. You can still, you don't have to be
[45:07] I did another video where I speak about
[45:08] you don't have to be allowing 24/7 in
[45:10] order in order to get better. You can
[45:12] really just do your meditation every
[45:13] single day or at least five days a week.
[45:15] Dedicate that time to allowing or if
[45:17] you're new to this, you know, dedicate
[45:18] that time to pendulation meditations and
[45:20] then in everyday life when you notice
[45:22] emotion or in everyday life when you
[45:23] notice sensation, just go, okay, this is
[45:25] here. I'm feeling a bit afraid towards
[45:26] it. Can I just be with this fear for a
[45:28] couple of moments? But you can continue
[45:30] driving, continue getting on with your
[45:32] day. [snorts] You don't have to
[45:33] immediately stop and quickly do a
[45:35] fiveminute meditation. You can just do
[45:37] body drops. You can just go, "Okay,
[45:39] there's a bit here right now. I'm going
[45:40] to be with it and get on with my day."
[45:45] You know, you can make your dinner. You
[45:46] can you can get on with life is
[45:48] basically what I'm trying to say. In
[45:49] ordinary moment. And the anxiety may
[45:52] still be there. The point is that the
[45:55] point isn't that you have to spend every
[45:57] moment of your day processing emotions.
[45:58] You can just have anxiety in the middle
[46:00] of the day. It's you're you're gradually
[46:02] learning not to treat every every
[46:04] uncomfortable internal experience as
[46:06] something that needs to be immediately
[46:07] fixed. Right? Sometimes, of course, you
[46:10] will need to regulate yourself.
[46:13] If you're in having a difficult
[46:14] conversation with someone and you feel
[46:16] yourself becoming overwhelmed with
[46:18] anger, it might be helpful to take a
[46:20] moment, slow down or come back to the
[46:22] conversation later. Right? That's not
[46:25] emotional suppression. I know I've
[46:27] spoken about in meditation, we're
[46:29] putting aside the need to relax anger or
[46:31] anything like that, but in everyday
[46:32] life, if you need to relax yourself,
[46:34] please do. If you're in a difficult
[46:36] situation, soo yourself. It's fine.
[46:38] That's not you.
[46:40] I mean, it is a type of emotional
[46:42] suppression, but it's not the type
[46:44] that's going to mean, oh, now I'm going
[46:45] to have more chronic symptoms. You don't
[46:47] have to act out or feel every emotion to
[46:49] its fullest in order to get better. You
[46:51] can do your meditation in the day and
[46:52] then in everyday life do your best to do
[46:54] body drops. But if you need to relax
[46:56] yourself in a conversation or in
[46:58] everyday life, please do. Really, please
[47:00] do. And and it's not going to have a
[47:02] negative effect on your process. There's
[47:04] a difference between choosing how and
[47:06] when to express an emotion and believing
[47:08] that you're not allowed to feel it in
[47:09] the first place. There's a difference.
[47:11] We still need to live our lives. We
[47:14] still need to behave in ways that
[47:15] reflect our values.
[47:18] And we still need to look after
[47:19] ourselves and the people around us.
[47:21] Right? So we can do all of that while
[47:25] gradually becoming more accepting of the
[47:27] emotions that arise along the way. It's,
[47:29] you know, you can allow contradiction.
[47:31] You can say, "Okay, in my meditation,
[47:33] I'm not going to try and relax anymore.
[47:34] I'm just going to allow the experience."
[47:36] But in everyday life, if I'm in a
[47:37] conversation or I'm in a moment where I
[47:39] need to feel relaxed, I'm going to let
[47:40] myself calm the breath down and relax
[47:42] myself. And that those two things can
[47:44] coexist. It's fine.
[47:46] It's one of the most freeing things
[47:48] about this whole process. This is not
[47:50] either this or that. It's not that. The
[47:52] goal isn't to become someone who never
[47:53] feels anxious, angry, sad, or
[47:56] uncomfortable again. The goal is to
[47:58] become someone who doesn't have to
[47:59] organize their entire life around
[48:01] avoiding those experiences anymore.
[48:04] Right? It's not it's not either I'm
[48:06] someone that tries to relax all the time
[48:07] or I'm someone that allows all the time.
[48:09] You can allow some of the time. You can
[48:11] relax some of the time. Take the
[48:13] pressure off. Right? Let's bring this
[48:16] video all together. I know it's a very
[48:17] long video. All my videos have been long
[48:18] recently. I hope you've been taking
[48:20] notes or, you know, maybe take the video
[48:23] and put it on times two and get, you
[48:25] know, something else to write notes for
[48:27] you. So, let's bring this all together.
[48:28] What are you actually supposed to do
[48:30] right now watching the video after
[48:32] everything I've just explained? You
[48:33] might be sitting there thinking, "Oh my
[48:36] god, that's a lot to remember. How the
[48:38] hell am I supposed to do all of that
[48:40] when I meditate?" I completely
[48:42] understand that. It can feel like a lot
[48:44] when I do these lists because I've just
[48:46] spent this whole video, I think I'm 45
[48:47] minutes in, explaining six different
[48:50] things to recognize. And the last thing
[48:52] I want for you to do is to sit down in
[48:54] your meditation with a medit with a
[48:56] checklist, making sure you're doing
[48:58] everything that I've said correctly. So,
[49:00] I want to bring this back to something
[49:01] really simple. Again, let's really
[49:03] simplify this. You don't need to
[49:05] remember all of this when you meditate.
[49:08] You don't need to sit down and look for
[49:10] six different things in your meditation.
[49:13] You don't need to identify every part,
[49:15] label every emotion, understand every
[49:17] sensation, or constantly check whether
[49:19] you're allowing properly. You don't need
[49:20] to do that. What we're really doing is
[49:22] learning to notice what's happening
[49:24] inside our body and gradually develop a
[49:27] more comfortable relationship with it.
[49:29] That's it. Just come back to the body.
[49:31] Come back to the body. Come back to the
[49:32] body. You know, when you notice a part
[49:35] of you trying to change what's happening
[49:36] in the body, that's okay, too. When you
[49:38] notice that you're searching for an
[49:40] emotion, that's okay, too. When you
[49:42] notice that there's a part of you trying
[49:45] to figure something out, that's okay,
[49:47] too. You're going to do that. All of
[49:48] this is going to happen. When you notice
[49:49] that you're afraid of what you're
[49:50] feeling, that's okay as well. It's when
[49:54] when you notice that you're not feeling
[49:56] anything in the meditation, that's okay
[49:58] as well. All of these experiences are
[50:02] things that we can gradually learn to
[50:03] understand and make room for in our
[50:05] meditation. any order, any intensity,
[50:07] any length of time, any reason. So, one
[50:09] of the most important things to remember
[50:11] is that this isn't something you're
[50:13] going to master overnight. For many of
[50:15] us, these patterns of controlling,
[50:17] suppressing, avoiding, and fearing our
[50:19] emotions have been developing for
[50:21] decades. It was for me. You're not going
[50:24] to it's not going to slowly disappear
[50:26] because we've watched this video
[50:27] explaining that we don't need to do this
[50:29] anymore. You know, it's a practice. This
[50:31] is a skill. This is something that you
[50:33] learn over time with teachers, with
[50:35] community. We're developing a whole new
[50:37] relationship with ourselves. And like
[50:39] any relationship, it takes time.
[50:42] Sometimes we'll feel open and curious
[50:44] and excited by it. Sometimes we'll feel
[50:46] frightened by the whole thing. Sometimes
[50:48] we'll get frustrated. Sometimes there'll
[50:50] be a lot of uncertainty. Sometimes we'll
[50:52] be completely caught up in our thoughts,
[50:55] right? Sometimes we'll have experiences
[50:58] that surprise us in meditation like,
[51:00] "What was that? That was weird.
[51:02] And we can keep coming back to the same
[51:04] simple practice over and over again.
[51:05] What's happening inside me right now?
[51:07] Just keep asking that question. And is
[51:09] it possible to give this experience a
[51:10] little more room without immediately
[51:13] needing to change it?
[51:16] And if the answer is no, I can't give
[51:17] this room. If there's a part of you that
[51:19] really doesn't want to allow what's
[51:20] happening, perhaps that's the part you
[51:22] can begin to get to know. There's a part
[51:24] of me that doesn't want to allow this,
[51:25] and that part of me can be here as well.
[51:26] You don't have to force it to change its
[51:28] mind. You don't have to make it feel
[51:30] differently. can feel afraid, can feel
[51:32] like it wants to change things. You can
[51:33] just start by recognizing that it's
[51:35] there. There's a part of me that doesn't
[51:37] like this. That's how this work
[51:39] gradually begins to make more sense.
[51:42] Not by figuring anything out
[51:43] intellectually, but by spending time
[51:45] with your experience and discovering
[51:47] little by little that you can relate to
[51:49] it differently
[51:51] in your meditation experience. So, I
[51:54] hope this video has helped clear up some
[51:56] of the confusion around what it actually
[51:58] means to allow emotions, particularly
[52:00] when you're meditating. I try and answer
[52:01] everything in one video. Maybe I have to
[52:03] split these videos up. But if you're
[52:05] finding this difficult, please remember
[52:06] that you're not expected to understand
[52:08] or master all of this straight away.
[52:10] This is a skill. Uh it's something we
[52:12] practice and it's something that becomes
[52:14] more familiar over time. Hopefully,
[52:16] you're already starting to practice. But
[52:18] if you'd like some some support with
[52:20] this, I've got guided meditations on
[52:22] this channel. You can also join my free
[52:24] pain relief community where we explore
[52:26] these ideas together, ask questions, and
[52:28] support each other through the ups and
[52:30] downs of recovery. I'll leave all the
[52:32] links of that below. And I'd love to
[52:35] hear from you in the comments. Uh
[52:37] because I'm curious which of these six
[52:39] things you find most difficult. Perhaps
[52:41] there's other things that you find
[52:42] difficult in your meditation or other
[52:44] things that you want to ask. Does
[52:45] allowing make sense? Is there resistance
[52:47] that comes up for you? Are you doing a
[52:49] lot of searching, figuring out? Is there
[52:51] a lot of doubt? Is there a lot of
[52:52] uncertainty? Are you trying to control
[52:54] what's happening? You know, let me know
[52:55] in the comments because these are the
[52:57] kinds of things we can keep exploring
[52:58] together. I can keep creating videos
[53:00] for. So, that's it for the video.
[53:02] Hopefully, I'll hear from you in the
[53:04] comments section. Otherwise,
[53:06] see you in the next video.