Transcript
[0:00] There's no such thing as a person with a
[0:02] problem. How many of you can relate to
[0:03] the feeling of not being enough? Okay,
[0:06] great. You don't want to upset the
[0:07] spouse. You don't want to lose your job.
[0:09] You don't want to lose money. You're
[0:10] always trying to calculate, figure out,
[0:12] predict, speculate what's going to
[0:14] happen as a means of survival. So that's
[0:16] 1.0. 1.0 mindset, the default factory
[0:19] settings of what it is to be a human
[0:20] being. If anybody has [music] a pattern
[0:22] that keeps reoccurring in their life, a
[0:24] cycle that keeps coming back.
[0:26] >> I don't do what I want. if I don't
[0:28] [music] pursue my biggest and wildest
[0:29] dreams.
[0:30] >> Is someone holding a gun against his
[0:31] head? No, you have a choice. You either
[0:33] live or you survive. So that's two
[0:35] entirely different worlds. So what I'm
[0:37] revealing is the 2.0, which is not a
[0:40] [music] upgrade. What I'm interested in
[0:42] is not improving you as a person, but
[0:44] really I'm revealing the essence of who
[0:45] you are.
[0:46] >> I want the 2.0 model. I'm tired of these
[0:48] incremental things. I just feel like
[0:50] I've always had to do everything by
[0:52] myself.
[0:52] >> As long as you think you're a separate
[0:53] self, you have no choice but to survive.
[0:55] You're exhausted. [music]
[0:57] Why are you working on yourself?
[0:59] >> Cuz I want to be acceptable.
[1:01] >> Which means that underneath it, what
[1:02] does that make you now?
[1:04] >> I hate to be the one to [music] break it
[1:06] to you, Darby. There's nothing wrong
[1:07] with you. This is the beauty, folks, of
[1:09] being human. See, if you were perfect,
[1:11] you would never have to learn love. Life
[1:13] will present [music] you with people and
[1:14] circumstances to reveal where you're not
[1:16] free. If you can really be honest, what
[1:18] are you struggling with in life right
[1:20] now? I guarantee you underneath it,
[1:21] [music] there is our work here is done.
[1:32] Kaka.
[1:36] [laughter]
[1:39] >> What's up everyone?
[1:42] >> This is gently on the grass.
[1:46] >> I'm hearing slight narration from Peter.
[1:48] >> Oh, hello. What? [laughter]
[1:50] >> What?
[1:50] >> Shh. I'm not here. Stop looking.
[1:55] You're listening to an illusion.
[1:57] [laughter]
[1:59] It's all in your mind.
[2:03] [snorts]
[2:04] >> Guys, we have an amazing evening in
[2:07] store.
[2:07] >> It's going to be all right. [laughter]
[2:11] >> Oh, is this thing still on? What? Can
[2:14] you hear me now?
[2:16] [laughter]
[2:17] Sorry. Carry on. What were you saying?
[2:21] >> [gasps and laughter]
[2:24] >> Um, all right guys. So, after a
[2:28] beautiful day of connection with each
[2:29] other, the land, with yourselves,
[2:32] I get the pleasure to do a live podcast
[2:34] with y'all, which is so fun.
[2:43] >> It's so cool how just in a 3-day time
[2:45] span of this collective retreat, on day
[2:48] two, it feels like everyone's family. I
[2:50] just see that and the way that you guys
[2:51] are laughing as you're walking from
[2:52] place to place and having dinner and
[2:54] it's just such an honor to be able to do
[2:56] this in this setting because normally
[2:58] I'm in a podcast studio and it's lovely.
[3:01] I love that for the one-on-one deep
[3:02] dive, but there's something amazing that
[3:05] comes into the space when there's a
[3:07] community that's present. Um, so we'll
[3:09] split it half and half kind of combo
[3:11] between Peter and I. We'll see where we
[3:13] go. Um, and then we'll open it up for
[3:16] some live coaching, for some Q&A. this
[3:18] guy, you know, descriptions often fail,
[3:22] almost inevitably have to fail
[3:25] describing somebody in their essence, as
[3:26] we've explored today in our different
[3:28] workshops. He is widely known as the
[3:30] mind architect and somebody who I in my
[3:33] eyes is one of the most effective
[3:35] coaches in helping people discover true
[3:37] freedom in real time. We are all
[3:39] operating through and with blind spots
[3:42] that are just innate to our identity.
[3:44] And he has this really beautiful way to
[3:47] articulate how they are elucory, how
[3:50] there is an intelligent design behind
[3:52] them and how to see through them to
[3:55] access more liberation in this very
[3:57] present moment. So Peter Cron, could you
[3:59] please join me to the stage, my friend?
[4:00] >> You got it.
[4:03] Let's go. It's
[4:04] >> going to take me a minute to get over
[4:06] there, so just talk amongst yourselves.
[4:09] >> Woo! I don't always whoop, but when I
[4:12] do, there it is. Anyway, [laughter]
[4:18] I just want to see who's paying
[4:19] attention. [laughter]
[4:20] Hello.
[4:22] >> Don't mind me. I'm English.
[4:24] >> Hello, darling.
[4:25] >> Hello, darling. Hello, puppet.
[4:27] >> Thanks for all coming. I appreciate it.
[4:30] [snorts]
[4:31] [sighs]
[4:32] Oh, thank you.
[4:34] My roofy. What? [laughter]
[4:38] There are drugs in.
[4:40] Sorry. Bit too soon, huh? [laughter]
[4:44] Let the light go down at least.
[4:47] >> He's been like this for the past 90
[4:48] minutes. Just off the leash as always.
[4:51] >> He just wasn't with me prior to the 90
[4:53] minutes. I've been like this for the
[4:55] last 35 years. [laughter]
[4:58] >> Of course, it's my age. But anyway,
[5:01] >> how we all doing? We good?
[5:03] >> You sure?
[5:05] >> Kind of worried about you. [laughter]
[5:07] We'll find out how good you are in a
[5:09] minute. But anyway, let's pretend for
[5:10] now. It feels good. [laughter]
[5:13] Okay. Well, sorry. You going to ask a
[5:14] question? No.
[5:15] >> Um I think you were just going to talk
[5:16] the whole time.
[5:16] >> Okay, great.
[5:18] >> Yeah, just how I like it. [laughter]
[5:22] >> The uh the special thing. This is our
[5:25] fourth podcast now. I just can't can't
[5:27] get rid of this guy.
[5:28] >> Am I the only four-timer?
[5:30] >> You keep asking that. I'm pretty sure.
[5:31] >> Well, because you you [ __ ] don't
[5:33] answer [laughter] the question. So, you
[5:35] thought you listen well. You really
[5:36] don't. It's like a very It's like It's a
[5:38] yes or no answer. It's [laughter]
[5:40] pretty simple. You know,
[5:42] >> I'm trying to protect your ego from
[5:44] being too inflated. So, I'm keeping it
[5:46] in the unknown.
[5:47] >> I listen. I
[5:49] >> I I love my ego. I love myself.
[5:52] >> That's the problem.
[5:53] >> Oh, okay.
[5:54] >> Okay.
[5:55] >> Ego doesn't want to be healed. It wants
[5:56] to be held. And I hold mine tight.
[5:59] [laughter]
[6:01] >> Okay. What do we got?
[6:02] >> Got a death grip on that thing. Um
[6:04] >> Yeah. I don't know. Where should we go?
[6:06] This is all I planned for. [laughter]
[6:09] >> Thank you for attending our TED talk.
[6:10] >> Yeah, that's it. We're over. It's over.
[6:13] Um, [clears throat] okay guys, so we've
[6:14] spent all yesterday connecting with each
[6:17] other uh in a much deeper way under the
[6:20] oak trees. Here we are in Topinga
[6:21] Canyon, this magical place. I live in
[6:23] this city. It's home. It's home to many
[6:25] of us. And the entire staff and
[6:29] attendees have gone through quite the
[6:31] journey um up until this point. It's
[6:33] been not even 48 hours. and we've done
[6:36] multiple workshops,
[6:38] um, so many connection exercises,
[6:40] brunches, dinners, live music, and it's,
[6:43] uh, it's been beautiful to see you guys
[6:46] fully relax into yourself and open up in
[6:48] such an amazing way. And I think that
[6:51] makes this conversation um land on
[6:54] fertile soil
[6:56] because from this place now we get to
[6:59] explore and highlight and reveal some
[7:01] limiting patterns um that are pervasive
[7:04] within the human species within most
[7:07] psychology and then specifically within
[7:09] um the collective that's here today.
[7:11] Peter, why don't we start with a
[7:12] question? How does that sound?
[7:13] >> I just I love starting there. [laughter]
[7:18] When you look at the subconscious mind
[7:20] and the operating systems
[7:23] >> that are running the show.
[7:25] >> Yeah. [clears throat]
[7:26] >> Um, in ways we're not fully privy to.
[7:28] >> Mhm.
[7:29] >> You have a beautiful, I guess, new
[7:32] architecture and the way that you're
[7:33] explaining what it means to be human
[7:34] 2.0. In your own words, could you just
[7:37] share what is the journey you're taking
[7:39] people on in your work?
[7:41] >> Okay. Um, beautiful question. So, first
[7:44] of all, I'm just curious just so I get a
[7:45] sense of the crowd. How many of you are
[7:47] to some degree, this is not stroking
[7:49] ego, just really objective question, are
[7:52] familiar with my work to some degree?
[7:54] Okay, great. How many of you have even
[7:56] heard me talk about 2.0 as a kind of
[7:59] container? Okay, great. So for those of
[8:01] you that clearly as the majority so I
[8:03] would assert that the current
[8:04] orientation of the human mind which is
[8:07] based in really I would say 99% of the
[8:10] way that people function is that we look
[8:11] through a lens which is primordially
[8:15] oriented towards survival right so we
[8:18] live in a world fortunately us as a
[8:20] collective that we're sort of got if
[8:22] problems that we have are tended to be
[8:23] first pro first first world problems
[8:25] we're not typically like worrying about
[8:27] shelter or food we sort of the hierarchy
[8:29] of needs we've kind of covered those,
[8:31] right? But I still want you to consider
[8:32] that survival is the predominant
[8:34] orientation. Meaning that it's not so
[8:37] much whether you're going to get your
[8:38] next meal, but it's really you don't
[8:40] want to upset the spouse, you don't want
[8:42] to mess up the kids, you don't want to
[8:43] lose your job, you don't want to lose
[8:44] money, right? Things like that. So 1.0
[8:47] mindset is this orientation, which to me
[8:50] is the default factory settings of what
[8:51] it is to be a human being. And I
[8:53] realized this for myself about 20some
[8:55] years ago. And I realized uh with an
[8:58] incredible amount of liberation that
[9:00] kind of cascaded through every cell of
[9:01] my body that I'd never experienced
[9:03] before that allowed me to kind of lift
[9:05] the veil on the matrix. Now inside of
[9:07] that construct of 1.0, there's no
[9:10] resolution. And that's categoric, right?
[9:12] What I mean is as long as you've got the
[9:14] orientation of being a separate entity,
[9:17] you have no choice but to survive in
[9:19] whichever arena of life you feel the
[9:21] most threatened. Does that make sense?
[9:23] Yes. No. lost you already. Okay. So
[9:27] within that construct, within that
[9:29] particular orientation, there can only
[9:31] be improvements. There can only be
[9:33] changes. There can only be trying to fix
[9:35] or resolve issues. But fundamentally,
[9:38] if so, let's ask a question because of
[9:40] the container that we're in here, which
[9:42] is beautiful. How many of you would say
[9:45] that you're working on improving
[9:48] self-love?
[9:50] Right? That that's a that's a worthwhile
[9:52] pursuit, is it not? like you know it's
[9:54] LA right so who isn't at some degree
[9:56] working on self love and for that reason
[9:58] that's why you're all [ __ ] right
[9:59] because [laughter] sorry was there no
[10:02] swearing in this anyway um because if
[10:05] you understand the mechanism by which
[10:07] behavior is oriented if you're looking
[10:09] to work on self-love that there's some
[10:11] aspect of you that believes it's
[10:13] unlovable
[10:14] do you follow so that's the fundamental
[10:18] what I call these 10 primal prisms of
[10:20] the subconscious of the current identity
[10:22] the genesis of an identity which starts
[10:24] in our childhood which we'll get to
[10:25] probably especially when I work with
[10:27] some of you is that at some point we
[10:29] decided to create these conclusions
[10:31] about who we are usually in a form of
[10:34] negation so I'm not something how many
[10:36] of you can relate to whether you've
[10:37] transcended or not the feeling at times
[10:39] of not being enough
[10:41] okay great how many of you at sometimes
[10:44] think that you're worried what other
[10:46] people think about you
[10:48] perfect there's like at least 60% the
[10:50] other 40% are so worried what they think
[10:52] other people think about them, they
[10:53] can't put their [ __ ] hands up, right?
[10:55] So, do you see it doesn't really matter?
[10:57] You're [ __ ] either way. I told you you
[10:59] might as well play the game with me.
[11:00] I've done this a million times. So,
[11:02] again, you're being driven by software,
[11:04] right? So, when you recognize that these
[11:06] negations that I'm not something when
[11:08] you're not something, which is
[11:09] juxtaposed against what I would consider
[11:11] to be the essence of you, which is
[11:12] everything, then now you're in a state
[11:14] of conflict. Like you might say it, you
[11:16] go to spiritual talks, workshops, and
[11:18] you're like, I am everything. I'm whole
[11:20] as a declaration, but the experience of
[11:22] your nervous system is often counter to
[11:24] that, right? And that drives all of the
[11:26] coping strategies. You become
[11:27] perfectionists. You become kind people,
[11:29] nice people, smart people. None of it's
[11:32] bad. You just want to notice that it's
[11:33] just a way of coping in the arena of
[11:35] survival. So that's 1.0. So what I'm
[11:38] revealing is the 2.0, which is not a
[11:41] upgrade. Like I don't have my phone with
[11:43] me. I think I have iPhone 16. So in the
[11:46] lexicon that we understand as it relates
[11:48] to any form of upgrade, you typically
[11:49] take something and then you just add a
[11:51] number to the digit afterwards, right?
[11:53] So iPhone 16 now it was 17 I think and
[11:56] now they just launched 18. Now that's
[11:59] fine and we understand it within the
[12:01] vocabulary of what it is to be a human.
[12:03] But what's people are missing is you're
[12:05] taking something that previously existed
[12:07] and you're tweaking it. Right? So iPhone
[12:10] 18 contains all the other iterations. Do
[12:12] you do you understand that? It's just I
[12:14] take what I had and I tweak it. That's a
[12:16] linear progression that most human
[12:18] beings are stuck on. Within that
[12:20] particular paradigm, all you can ever do
[12:22] is become the best version of your
[12:24] limited self and that should both be
[12:27] revoly but also a little bit painful,
[12:29] right? So really what you're taking is
[12:30] you as a confined unit, the personality
[12:33] that you think you are and you're just
[12:34] trying to improve it. It's not wrong.
[12:36] It's it's a worthwhile cause, but you're
[12:38] still going to have your footnel to the
[12:40] floor of whatever your feeling of
[12:41] inadequacy is. What I'm doing is not
[12:43] trying to improve you. I have no
[12:45] interest in making you better people.
[12:46] So, sorry, forget about that. I'm not
[12:48] going to do that. Right? I'm much more
[12:50] interested in killing all of you, right?
[12:52] This is Tango. We're in a cult. Like,
[12:54] just [laughter] like this is what
[12:57] happens. I mean, what the did you
[12:58] expect, right? Jesus. Anyway, so the
[13:02] whole point of like my work is really
[13:03] dissolution, not solution. I'm not in
[13:05] the business of solving problems.
[13:06] There's a million experts out there that
[13:07] will try and solve your problems, which
[13:09] if you understand is really reinforcing
[13:11] the subtle belief that you have some,
[13:12] right? And when you really get this,
[13:14] problems aren't something that are
[13:16] separate to you. There's no such thing
[13:17] as a person with a problem. The person
[13:20] personality and the problem are
[13:21] commensurate. They're one and the same
[13:23] thing. Have you noticed that wherever
[13:24] you go that you have the same problems,
[13:26] right? You are the the generator of what
[13:30] occurs to you as a problem. So what I'm
[13:32] interested in is not improving you as a
[13:34] person, but really destroying the
[13:36] identity that is the idea of yourself
[13:38] and revealing what's beneath that. Does
[13:41] that make sense? So that's 2.0. So
[13:42] really like, you know, I was joking. I
[13:44] had a live event. Was anyone at my live
[13:46] event last night? I don't think so. No,
[13:47] cuz you were here.
[13:49] >> Terrible [ __ ] choice of priorities.
[13:52] [laughter]
[13:53] So um so what I was speaking about like
[13:57] you know joking in the arena that I used
[13:58] to traffic in which was transforming
[14:01] bodies not subconscious patterns you
[14:03] know friends are like dude like you know
[14:05] how do you get a six-pack? I'm like what
[14:06] the [ __ ] are you talking about? We all
[14:08] have six-packs, right? It's just mine
[14:10] isn't hidden like yours, right? It's
[14:13] [laughter]
[14:14] like, what do you do? I like I don't do
[14:16] the [ __ ] that you do that hides the
[14:17] six-pack you already have that you pay
[14:19] 150 bucks to go to the gym to try and
[14:21] find. What are they handing them out
[14:23] there? Just do Stop doing all the [ __ ]
[14:25] that you have that Right. You get it,
[14:27] right? So, if you look at that as a
[14:28] physiological analogy to what I'm doing,
[14:30] I'm revealing the essence of who you
[14:32] are, which is beneath the [ __ ]
[14:34] stories you have about yourself. That's
[14:36] about it really. It's really quite
[14:38] simple. I don't know what everyone's
[14:40] problem
[14:43] >> finding the six-pack within.
[14:45] >> Yes, exactly. We're finding your
[14:47] spiritual six-pack.
[14:48] >> Wow. That's the name of this workshop.
[14:50] >> Yeah.
[14:52] Rectus abdominis.
[14:54] [laughter]
[14:55] >> Pardon?
[14:57] >> Could you define the way you use the
[14:59] term freedom?
[15:01] >> Oo, that's a big one. So, freedom has
[15:04] got many connotations. Words I traffic
[15:05] in language, right? Like words carry
[15:07] vibration, sound, meaning. And depending
[15:09] on who you are, you're going to hear
[15:10] certain words and it's going to trigger
[15:11] based on the current way that you're
[15:13] oriented, right? So you might hear a
[15:14] particular word and for you it sort of
[15:16] gives the feeling of euphoria, hope,
[15:18] possibility. For somebody else, it could
[15:20] be threatening. But freedom, I think we
[15:22] can all agree upon is something that
[15:23] we'd all want. But in the context of how
[15:25] I look at it, freedom is really from the
[15:27] the illusion of the idea of yourself. So
[15:29] real freedom to me is when you get to a
[15:31] place where you've got nothing to prove,
[15:32] nothing to hide, and nothing to want
[15:34] for, right? But if you really unpack
[15:37] that, there's quite a lot in that,
[15:38] right? You got nothing to prove. How
[15:39] many of you really being honest know
[15:41] that at some level in your life, you
[15:42] have things to prove, right? Like
[15:45] whether it's to your parents, whether
[15:46] it's to prove them right, prove them
[15:48] wrong, prove yourself lovable, prove
[15:49] yourself worthy, it's certainly in the
[15:51] workplace, you got to prove your worth
[15:53] to contain, you know, the the security
[15:55] or the illusion of security of a
[15:56] paycheck, right? How many of you want
[15:58] for things?
[16:00] It's pretty [ __ ] happy golucky crowd
[16:02] here. Apparently, they've all hit
[16:05] contentment. They're like, I don't want
[16:06] for anything. I am peace. [laughter]
[16:09] >> Honestly, not know.
[16:10] >> No one can steal this idea. Okay, this
[16:12] is all like NDA stuff. Like, one of the
[16:14] t-shirts I'm going to create is called
[16:16] feel my peace. [laughter]
[16:18] P. Come on. P E A C E. Oh, just [ __ ]
[16:22] filthy. [laughter] Feel my peace. I
[16:24] mean, like, isn't that an invitation
[16:26] from freedom?
[16:27] Okay,
[16:30] too soon. Didn't Andre's like, "Why the
[16:32] [ __ ] did I invite this guy?" [laughter]
[16:35] >> This is freedom. Do you see? I'm like,
[16:37] it's a demonstration.
[16:39] So, not wanting for anything is that I'm
[16:41] beyond desire. And and wanting is it's
[16:44] nuance, right? Most people's wanting is
[16:46] reactive. Usually, what you want is not
[16:48] what you want. It's in reaction to what
[16:50] you don't want. So, then you're being
[16:52] informed by a history that still
[16:54] somewhat defines you. Most people go to
[16:55] the gym in January because they want to
[16:56] get in shape, which is really a reaction
[16:58] to the diagnosis they got from a doctor
[17:00] that if you keep on the track, you're
[17:02] right, you're going to be on statins and
[17:03] beta blockers and whatever. So, I got to
[17:05] get away from that. So, that's not
[17:07] wanting. That's like trying to escape.
[17:09] So, there's no freedom there either,
[17:11] right? So, and then nothing to hide is
[17:14] really the self-expression. So proving,
[17:15] wanting and hiding, if you look at those
[17:17] three that I just shared, it's not the
[17:19] full picture of freedom, but hopefully
[17:20] you get a semblance of it, which is
[17:22] fundamentally real freedom at the sort
[17:25] of real spiritual level is the ultimate
[17:28] end of the identity of yourself that was
[17:31] a misnomer that you have become defined
[17:34] by for decades. So you know, the death
[17:36] of the ego sounds very dramatic and I
[17:38] think it's something people try to do,
[17:40] but the person who's trying to kill the
[17:41] ego is the ego. So it gets very
[17:42] slippery, right? You see that? Someone
[17:45] got it. Anyway, [laughter]
[17:47] so really that's freedom in a nutshell.
[17:50] Oh, this isn't No. Anyway, that's all I
[17:52] don't know Austin Powers fans. This is a
[17:55] nutshell.
[17:56] [laughter]
[17:58] Sort of group is
[18:01] the best. They're the best ever.
[18:02] >> Yes. They're the best.
[18:04] >> Um, great. Okay, so
[18:06] >> hey, we're all free. All good. All good.
[18:08] >> Are we done here?
[18:09] >> Freedom check. What else do we want?
[18:11] [laughter]
[18:12] some cake. I don't know.
[18:15] >> Um,
[18:17] >> so you've been doing this work for a
[18:18] while.
[18:19] >> Yeah.
[18:19] >> Like you said, maybe 35 years plus.
[18:22] >> Yeah.
[18:22] >> And you had a a few potent experiences
[18:25] where this became experiential, right?
[18:27] Because and the way that you describe
[18:29] insight in the path of Janai yoga
[18:31] especially is that you can examine all
[18:33] these things through the lens of the
[18:35] intellect and it can get you close but
[18:37] it can't get you there
[18:39] >> and until the moment where insight
[18:40] arrives and the insight becomes
[18:43] self-evident in your experience. It
[18:45] doesn't need to be taught from the
[18:46] external in it becomes
[18:48] >> just what is in your experience. Um
[18:51] would you share a bit about like the
[18:53] first kind of pop into this insight
[18:55] where you saw the way that you were um
[18:58] chasing these things that you said you
[19:01] wanted but really avoiding things that
[19:02] you didn't want.
[19:03] >> For sure. I mean there's been a series
[19:05] of like I would say
[19:08] um pretty significant stories awakenings
[19:11] or like revelations right understanding
[19:14] that I'd never had before. And so I
[19:16] would say that like the first was about
[19:17] 26 years ago uh when I just turned 10.
[19:20] Um [snorts]
[19:21] [laughter]
[19:22] u and I'd gone it was on the back of a
[19:24] breakup
[19:25] and it was for my frame of reference in
[19:29] my experience of relationships it was at
[19:32] the time the most significant and so as
[19:35] a puppy you know young 20some year old I
[19:38] felt like oh this could be the one right
[19:41] sort of reinforced by society and you
[19:43] complete me and all the [ __ ] that we
[19:44] hear all the time right so for me there
[19:47] was an inordinate amount of significance
[19:49] because of the way that I was relating
[19:51] to this person, which then because of
[19:53] the significance when we place something
[19:55] into an arena that it feels like it's in
[19:59] incredibly valuable to us, not in a bad
[20:01] way, but we often we we we relocate
[20:05] resources in a way that's um it's not
[20:08] commensurate with like its real value.
[20:10] Meaning like in plain language like I
[20:12] was giving all my attention to her
[20:14] because of my default belief that she
[20:16] was the one. Does that make sense? Like
[20:18] so what happened was you know I was the
[20:21] perfect boyfriend like but it was a
[20:24] curated perfect boyfriend right meaning
[20:27] that I would consider myself to be a
[20:29] very loving affectionate kind generous
[20:30] guy I've never shouted at anyone I've
[20:33] never cheated I you know on paper I
[20:34] check all the boxes but I became Peter
[20:37] plus because the plus was the belief
[20:39] that being me was insufficient wasn't
[20:42] wasn't enough to be me and because of
[20:43] the significance that I saw in the
[20:45] relationship it's like I got to be me
[20:47] and then some right can everyone relate
[20:49] to that can you see perhaps in your own
[20:50] life where there's arenas that you do
[20:52] that and so what happened is like I say
[20:55] that fear will break its own heart right
[20:56] so the mechanism that drives the extra
[20:59] sort of attention and resources that you
[21:01] apply to something is really being
[21:03] driven by an underlying concern in my
[21:05] case unbeknownst to me I was scared of
[21:07] her leaving me right now no one would
[21:10] begrudge me that because those of you
[21:11] who don't know my story my mom died when
[21:13] I was seven my dad died when I was 17
[21:15] and my dad particularly my mom had been
[21:17] sick for a while. She had cancer. But my
[21:18] dad went to work one day. He worked on
[21:19] the boats from England to Belgium,
[21:20] England to France. Boat capsized. Almost
[21:23] 200 people died. Like a significant
[21:25] tragedy that was obviously not
[21:27] predicted. So there was a serious degree
[21:30] of like trauma even at I was 17 and um
[21:34] so unbeknownst to me at that moment
[21:36] these defining moments to start to
[21:38] curate the evidence for why I should be
[21:40] a human who orients around the fear of
[21:42] loss. It wasn't until like 10 years
[21:44] later or whatever that I met this person
[21:46] for whom that gets reignited. That's the
[21:49] beauty of life, right? One of my more
[21:50] popular quotes as I say, life will
[21:52] present you with people and
[21:53] circumstances to reveal where you're not
[21:55] free, right? So, if you really get that,
[21:57] we look at life as like, oh, I hate
[21:59] this. This person pisses me off. But the
[22:01] reorientation from my perspective is no,
[22:03] that's an opportunity to see where
[22:04] you're saying you can't be with
[22:06] something. If you understand that you're
[22:08] inordinately powerful, there's nothing
[22:10] that you can't handle, then you're no
[22:12] longer triggered, which is obviously a
[22:13] very popular word here in LA, but it's
[22:16] really that you're you're being offered
[22:17] the opportunity to see where you haven't
[22:19] yet garnered your sense of own true
[22:21] freedom. Does that make sense? So, in
[22:23] this relationship, I was playing the
[22:26] role of the perfect boyfriend, which was
[22:27] a coping strategy built on top of a
[22:29] foundation of fear of loss, right? So,
[22:32] makes sense, right? If I'm scared of
[22:34] loss, what do you do? you try to
[22:36] nurture, cherish, you know, hold on to
[22:39] as tightly as you can but subtly not be
[22:42] too much all all the nuances of being
[22:44] human. And as I said, fear will break
[22:46] its own heart. So eventually the best
[22:47] thing that happened to me is that she
[22:49] did leave. You know, she came up to me
[22:51] one day, literally this was, you know,
[22:52] we'd had a beautiful journey. We
[22:54] traveled around the world at the time. I
[22:55] was training a couple of actors. So I
[22:57] was getting to travel. She came with me.
[22:59] We had a great time. I didn't think
[23:00] there was anything wrong. And she said,
[23:01] you know, I've got to go. Your love is
[23:03] suffocating.
[23:05] And whilst I could understand that, you
[23:07] know, what she was sort of pointing
[23:08] towards, I really didn't think it was a
[23:10] [ __ ] problem when most people are
[23:11] struggling to get love. I'm like,
[23:12] really? So, what you're basically saying
[23:13] is, I've got too much love. Like, I
[23:15] really I'm a bit confused here. But
[23:17] anyway, um so sure enough, she left. I
[23:19] fell apart. Fast track, you know, like
[23:21] probably six, seven weeks later. We
[23:23] spoke for a few weeks, logistics, send
[23:25] this, you know, I've left this, do that,
[23:27] whatever. Um, and then I really went
[23:29] through sort of a right of passage, you
[23:30] know, sort of dark knights of the soul
[23:32] where uh I was incessantly asking these
[23:34] questions of like where is she? Is she
[23:36] dating someone else? Will I see her
[23:38] again? Will I find love like her again?
[23:39] All of these sort of desperate men doing
[23:41] desperate things. I wasn't doing
[23:43] desperate things, but I was certainly
[23:44] having desperate thoughts. And for
[23:46] whatever reasons, the way that my mind
[23:48] is orchestrated or call it karma or dumb
[23:50] luck, you know, I was sitting in a rent
[23:52] control apartment with everything that I
[23:53] possessed in this small room at my IKEA
[23:56] desk. And um I suddenly on the back of
[23:59] these questions got the answer to all
[24:01] three of like where is she? Will I see
[24:03] her again? Is she dating someone? And
[24:04] will I find love like that again? And it
[24:06] was three words. It was I don't know.
[24:10] And it was so categorically simple
[24:12] because it was just the truth, right? It
[24:14] was nothing to do with my subjective
[24:16] desire to try and figure out what was
[24:17] going to happen, which is a mechanism to
[24:20] seek security, right? Like I I'm It was
[24:22] my ego trying to know that it was going
[24:23] to be okay. And I was like, I don't
[24:26] know. I I don't know where she is. I
[24:27] don't know if she's dating anyone. I
[24:28] don't know if I'll see her again. And I
[24:30] don't know if I'll find love like that
[24:31] again. And the freedom that cascaded
[24:34] through my body was something that I
[24:35] didn't know was possible. And at that
[24:38] same moment, the revelation about the
[24:39] nature of life, the future, the life
[24:41] itself as a paradigm that we live in is
[24:44] uncertainty. That's its nature. Just
[24:45] like if I put my hand over the flames,
[24:47] like we all know that that's going to be
[24:49] hot. It's intrinsic, right? It's not
[24:51] going to suddenly in a week be, oh,
[24:52] that's funny. Fire became cold, right?
[24:54] Like it's hot. Life is uncertain. And at
[24:57] that moment, I recognize the paradox of
[24:59] what it is to be human, which is in the
[25:00] survival mechanism that we talked about.
[25:02] you're always trying to calculate,
[25:04] figure out, you know, predict, speculate
[25:07] what's going to happen as a means of
[25:08] survival. And so that was my means built
[25:10] on top of a deep foundation of the fear
[25:12] of loss. But at that moment, I
[25:14] reconciled everything. I was like, we
[25:16] never [ __ ] know. I didn't know that I
[25:18] was going to have this conversation. I
[25:19] mean, I know I was going to show up. I
[25:20] didn't know what I was going to say. I
[25:21] didn't know the questions he was going
[25:22] to ask. And really, it gave me this
[25:25] sense of like profound freedom and
[25:27] confidence that life is uncertain. And
[25:29] for the first time in my life, not only
[25:31] did I see that, but I was totally okay
[25:33] with it. I no longer had Can you
[25:36] imagine? Just try and find that in
[25:37] yourself right now. If you can really be
[25:38] honest, like what are you struggling
[25:40] with in life right now? I guarantee you
[25:42] underneath it there is some mechanism
[25:44] where you're wanting to know what
[25:45] happens. Yes. Can you see that? Can you
[25:48] find that? Are your kids going to be
[25:49] okay? Are they going to find love? Are
[25:51] they, you know, going to avoid drugs in
[25:53] school? Like whatever. If you're
[25:54] parents, are your is your relationship
[25:56] going to work out? Are your parents in
[25:57] hospice right now? are they going to be
[25:59] cured? Like whatever you're dealing
[26:00] with, am I going to keep my job? And am
[26:02] I going to make money? Are my stocks
[26:04] going to be okay? Like it's this
[26:05] constant incessant trying to figure out.
[26:07] And that to me is one of the biggest
[26:09] precursors to sickness that we see with
[26:11] people, the disease, the absence of
[26:13] ease. And so that was the biggest
[26:16] moment. Like from that moment I
[26:17] literally stepped into a new world,
[26:19] which is why I created 2.0 in a world
[26:21] where I realized the mechanism by which
[26:23] humans are driven is itself an incessant
[26:26] journey of perpetual trying to survive
[26:28] and I just I I was done. So, you know,
[26:32] if you're into that kind of [ __ ] like
[26:34] it's pretty cool. I recommend it. So,
[26:37] that was the big moment. And then
[26:38] there's obviously been refinements along
[26:39] the way, like there's certain things
[26:40] that have still come up as I've grown
[26:42] and evolved. You know, there's sort of
[26:44] it's like Michelangelo when he was asked
[26:46] how did he create this beautiful
[26:47] sculpture of David, right, out of a big
[26:48] lump of marble. He said, "I didn't.
[26:50] David was already in there. I chipped
[26:51] away everything that wasn't David."
[26:53] Which is a beautiful metaphor. So for
[26:54] me, these were big blocks, right? But I
[26:57] would say now in the work that I do, and
[26:58] I've known Andre for years, you know,
[27:00] we've had beautiful conversations on and
[27:02] off air. It was really now I feel like
[27:04] I'm working on eyelashes, you know, all
[27:06] the subtle nuances around the nostrils
[27:08] and like there's always stuff to, you
[27:10] know, I'm not walking on water yet, so
[27:12] there's still some [ __ ] to do, you know?
[27:14] [laughter]
[27:15] >> Can you see me? I'm supposed to be
[27:16] invisible right now.
[27:18] not working right. [laughter]
[27:20] >> Yeah. So that was that was a very
[27:22] profound moment and and and to speak to
[27:24] quantum and understanding the unity
[27:26] consciousness that I'm teaching how
[27:28] everything is interconnected in the
[27:30] universe that people live right now as a
[27:32] separate entity trying to survive. And
[27:34] one of my quotes again I say as long as
[27:36] you think you're a separate self you
[27:37] have no choice but to survive. Right?
[27:39] It's it's there's no choice underlined.
[27:41] But in unity conscious when you're
[27:42] connected to everything what was so
[27:44] profound is within 15 minutes of me
[27:46] having this revelation my phone rings
[27:48] and she calls me and I haven't spoken to
[27:50] her for 6 weeks right that the first
[27:52] week was just desperate waiting hoping
[27:54] to hear like okay let's try it again
[27:56] let's get counseling I'm coming back
[27:57] something right that would pate the fear
[27:59] of the loss and the devastation like was
[28:01] all dramatic and ego I wasn't dramatic
[28:03] but the energy is and at that moment she
[28:06] calls and she couldn't be further away I
[28:08] was here in LA when I lived here and she
[28:11] was literally on it was the antipote.
[28:12] She was in Australia. So, talk about
[28:15] entanglement theory, right? Cuz I
[28:16] realized at the moment, unbeknownst to
[28:18] her, she's just crying and she's saying,
[28:19] "I miss you so much." And what I got in
[28:22] that moment is I'm finally available to
[28:24] her. Cuz before I was in a relationship
[28:26] with my fear, not her. And if you really
[28:29] get that, that's a very profound
[28:30] distinction that most people aren't in
[28:32] relationships.
[28:33] They're in a relationship. They're in
[28:35] the form of it. Married, partner,
[28:37] girlfriend, fiance, boyfriend, whatever.
[28:39] But to be in relationship is to be in
[28:41] harmony with life itself. And at that
[28:43] moment I realized I'd never actually
[28:45] been in a relationship energetically
[28:47] fully intimate with her because I was
[28:50] too preoccupied with the concern that
[28:52] she might leave even though she was
[28:53] there. That's the insanity of being
[28:54] human, right? So that was pretty cool.
[28:58] Sorry. Am I boring you?
[29:01] >> No. So beautiful, man. Thank you for
[29:03] sharing.
[29:03] >> Yeah, of course. the uh that insight you
[29:06] shared around your own process of
[29:09] gaining awareness to a blind spot of how
[29:11] you were being in relationship with this
[29:13] >> idea of yourself and the therefore the
[29:16] behavioral compensations that stem from
[29:18] that.
[29:18] >> Yeah. is at in the moment so painful but
[29:22] also on the other side of the coin so
[29:24] liberating because you realize how
[29:26] you're living life through this
[29:27] narration of self and this lens of
[29:30] identity that is ultimately
[29:32] disempowering and and not supporting you
[29:35] to make real contact with the people in
[29:37] life. Um
[29:39] >> the uh and this is like one of my
[29:42] strongest values you know to see clearly
[29:44] what does it mean in life to see life as
[29:46] it is.
[29:46] >> Yeah. and not just through my own color
[29:49] tinted glasses, right? We're always
[29:51] going to just like our perceptual system
[29:53] is set up as a human being to see life a
[29:56] certain way, right? An octopus has a
[29:58] completely different experience because
[29:59] of its sensory system. A bat has a
[30:01] completely different
[30:02] >> experience internally. What is that
[30:04] internal qualia like? and the way that
[30:06] you you beautifully articulate the way
[30:08] that these behavioral mechanisms and
[30:10] compensations are set up often early on
[30:12] in childhood um set a framework and a
[30:16] stage to then examine what is the
[30:18] purpose of them.
[30:19] >> Mhm.
[30:19] >> Which in many ways you've shared is to
[30:22] what become be feel safe fundamentally.
[30:26] Yeah. Your nervous system is like the
[30:27] primordial imperative of any nervous
[30:29] system which is what we're really
[30:30] relating to right like ultimately you're
[30:33] feeling the experiences of your own
[30:34] chemistry um and your own perception
[30:37] right there's events circumstance what
[30:39] we call the three-dimensional reality
[30:40] but then ultimately what you're
[30:42] experiencing is the way you relate to it
[30:43] your interpretation of it so that
[30:45] nervous system's primordial imperative
[30:48] is yeah to keep you alive
[30:50] >> and you just say primordial imperative
[30:53] is two O's primordial
[30:56] >> [laughter]
[30:56] >> So, in many ways, you see, like that's
[30:58] kind of the game we're here to play.
[31:01] >> Yes.
[31:02] >> Uh cosmic hide-and-seek, a phrase we
[31:04] both like.
[31:05] >> Yes.
[31:05] >> And um now
[31:09] we've been doing all sorts of things,
[31:11] right? We've been doing breath work as a
[31:13] collective. We've been having so many
[31:14] connection exercises and things have
[31:16] come up, right? Patterns
[31:18] >> that you didn't realize were running the
[31:19] show to a certain degree. Yeah.
[31:21] >> And that moment of insight is beautiful.
[31:23] And what I feel like is so insight
[31:27] is the right environment to be present.
[31:30] >> And [clears throat] so for you, what do
[31:33] you think is the right environment that
[31:34] we can all cultivate in our life for
[31:37] these insights and for these
[31:38] realizations and the dissolution of self
[31:40] and the unhelpful structures in our
[31:43] identity to to be dissolved? um what is
[31:45] the environment that you set up in your
[31:47] life in the way that you live um in the
[31:49] way that you see things to be able to
[31:51] find these blind spots?
[31:54] So I would say if you're doing it as a
[31:55] conscious process is one word right you
[31:57] want to find a place that feels safe
[31:59] that's a conscious process unfortunately
[32:01] life doesn't work that gracefully
[32:02] typically it's going to be a traumatic
[32:04] experience right so you know when push
[32:06] comes to shove is usually like if we
[32:09] take just an everyday benign example
[32:11] which probably happened in the millions
[32:13] you know somewhere around the world
[32:14] somebody went to see a GP and they did
[32:17] their blood annual tests and they've got
[32:19] high cholesterol and so the doctor doing
[32:22] his job paid by big farmer
[32:24] you know his um for sake of not losing
[32:27] his license malpractice has to prescribe
[32:29] statins right this is the world that we
[32:31] sadly live in so that human being at
[32:34] that moment there's not sufficient
[32:36] trauma right so he's in a space trusted
[32:38] doctor white lab coat stethoscope blah
[32:40] blah blah here go to your CVS and get
[32:43] your drugs right so and there may be
[32:45] hopefully if the doctor has any sort of
[32:47] sort of sense of integrity there may be
[32:49] a you know he's not allowed to but
[32:50] perhaps say hey and you might want to
[32:52] just cut out the in-n-outs and and
[32:53] drinking and maybe change a bit of diet
[32:54] and lifestyle. But otherwise, let's say
[32:57] the same guy goes back in two or three
[32:58] years. Cholesterol continues to go up.
[33:00] We've got to change your formula. We got
[33:02] to up the drugs, right? There's a linear
[33:04] progression, which in this case is a
[33:05] degenerative process, but there's still
[33:07] not sufficient trauma in order for
[33:09] somebody to like really look at their
[33:11] own patterns. So, this is sort of the
[33:13] less ideal not curated route, right?
[33:16] Which is eventually, just to take this
[33:18] hypothetical further, the same guy five
[33:20] years from now has a heart attack.
[33:23] There's been signs in Ayurveda which is
[33:25] one of the things that I teach where you
[33:27] have six stages of disease. Stage five
[33:29] is really when people go and see a
[33:30] doctor right like you you know you are
[33:33] fundamentally at the 85th percentile of
[33:35] like the whole process right if you
[33:36] become sufficiently aware and sensitive
[33:38] to your own body. Those subtle signs at
[33:40] the beginning of accumulation
[33:42] aggravation are the things you want to
[33:44] pay attention to. But for most people
[33:45] they need a big you know 2x4 around the
[33:48] face to get the wakeup call. So the
[33:50] heart attack is perhaps hopefully
[33:52] sufficient for him to say, "Holy [ __ ] I
[33:54] really got to make some changes." So
[33:56] that's one of the ways, but really let's
[33:58] focus on the former just because of the
[33:59] current audience is you just want to
[34:01] find a safe space, right? Where you can
[34:03] feel sufficiently calm, relaxed, and
[34:06] accepted that you're no longer in the
[34:09] the sort of default setting of self
[34:11] consciousness, which is really
[34:13] self-preservation.
[34:15] Cuz if you're in any form of defense,
[34:17] like people say, "Dude, like you must
[34:18] see patterns everywhere." And I'm like,
[34:19] "Yes, but like the Matrix, like I'm sure
[34:22] everyone in here has seen The Matrix
[34:23] multiple times." You know, everybody has
[34:26] the potential to be an agent, right?
[34:28] Does anyone understand the reference I'm
[34:30] making? Right. So, when Neo or any of
[34:32] the kind of free souls are running away
[34:34] from agents,
[34:36] you walking, there's one scene I
[34:38] remember and most people, you know, can
[34:40] remember it because it's quite dramatic.
[34:42] He's running through a farmers market or
[34:43] something and some guy's on the phone
[34:45] and then you know you see him as a
[34:47] normal person on the phone but then
[34:49] because Neo ran past the guy suddenly
[34:51] becomes an agent right and he's trying
[34:53] to catch him or he walks he runs through
[34:55] this apartment as a woman cutting bread
[34:56] with a knife and then you cut back and
[34:59] she's an agent throwing the knife right
[35:01] you following the scenes. So that that
[35:04] aspect to me why the film is so
[35:06] brilliant cuz it's three decades old. is
[35:07] crazy but really everybody has the
[35:09] capacity to be that energy of
[35:12] self-preservation.
[35:13] So in any kind of environment where you
[35:15] feel self-conscious and even at you know
[35:18] stages of feeling threatened to access
[35:21] that is is not possible. So curated
[35:24] chosen talk to people you know love you
[35:28] and that's where you can start to be
[35:29] sufficiently vulnerable. Otherwise, it's
[35:32] going to be the more you know, tragic,
[35:35] dramatic, suffering induced way of
[35:37] wakeup call. But, you know, now I think
[35:40] most people with these conversations,
[35:41] especially through this this guy's
[35:43] beautiful show podcast, all the
[35:44] conversations people are becoming aware
[35:46] of, you know, it's like we're getting
[35:48] understanding. We're getting these
[35:50] insights. We're like, "Wait a minute,
[35:51] that actually resonates." my mastermind
[35:53] I do like I just did this afternoon
[35:55] 3-month program people's minds are just
[35:57] being popped left right and center even
[35:59] though I'm not talking to them because
[36:00] they're in a safe space and they're like
[36:02] holy [ __ ] like okay the details it's not
[36:04] my uncle that was abusive or my dad and
[36:06] mom that fought but I can relate to that
[36:09] same feeling of not being safe or not
[36:11] being wanted. So hopefully through
[36:13] inspiration you can start to access this
[36:16] what I call 2.0 in a world on the other
[36:17] side of the constraints. But they're
[36:19] they're typically the two avenues, you
[36:20] know, either you have some sort of
[36:22] beautiful community like this, which is
[36:24] why these events are so cool because I
[36:26] don't know what kind of conversations
[36:27] you're having, but hopefully you're with
[36:29] people who are giving you the safe space
[36:32] for you to tell your story sufficiently,
[36:34] profoundly, honestly, authentically that
[36:36] you can find something even in your own
[36:38] declaration, right? It's like, "Holy
[36:40] [ __ ] I feel that about myself forever."
[36:43] And maybe you get a good reflection of
[36:44] like, "Yeah, I can relate to that." Like
[36:46] and then you start to what I say
[36:48] investigate the validity of it which is
[36:50] like is it really true that you're not
[36:51] good enough? Like well my brother was a
[36:53] better athlete. Okay, but does that mean
[36:54] that you're not good enough? Right? So
[36:56] that that's the ideal space but
[36:58] otherwise you just got to you know face
[37:01] the music and trauma [laughter] trauma
[37:05] like that was my first talk at a yoga
[37:07] studio like you know it's like 12 people
[37:09] showed up. This is about 20 years ago
[37:10] and I think they meant they thought it
[37:12] was going to be yoga. So anyway,
[37:15] um but I I shared like somebody said
[37:16] like how do how do you get to this place
[37:18] where you're just so like free and at
[37:20] peace? I said really the best way is I
[37:22] hope you fall madly in love and then
[37:23] they break up with you and you're
[37:24] devastated.
[37:26] [laughter]
[37:27] So there's that route too. So if any of
[37:29] you are madly in love, there's hope for
[37:31] you yet. [laughter]
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[38:35] the show.
[38:38] the way you describe the the blind
[38:40] spots, you know, it's it's funny because
[38:41] right these are like the perceptual
[38:43] systems, the identity systems that we're
[38:45] looking through and as and so it's so
[38:48] easy to see the faults in others. It's
[38:50] so easy to point out other people's
[38:52] patterns. So much more difficult to see
[38:54] our own patterns.
[38:56] >> Yeah.
[38:56] >> And I I've called you in moments too,
[38:58] you know, where usually it's gets
[39:00] revealed in moments of uh definitely
[39:02] relationship, romantic relationship. um
[39:05] any like the the mirror that
[39:08] relationships provide in general really
[39:10] allow this material to come up into the
[39:12] surface because you see where you're
[39:13] stuck, right? People will prevent you
[39:15] with people and circumstances.
[39:16] >> It's a river when you're not free. Yeah.
[39:18] >> Nice. I love when we finish each other's
[39:19] sentences.
[39:20] >> We're like a couple. I thought we were
[39:21] getting married.
[39:22] >> Super disappointed. But
[39:23] >> we're break up and you'll be more free
[39:25] >> and I'm completely liberated again.
[39:29] >> [laughter]
[39:31] >> So,
[39:35] >> can we just have a moment? We have a lot
[39:37] of this. He gets like this when he gets
[39:39] embarrassed. [laughter]
[39:41] >> I'm blushing. I'm blushing.
[39:43] [clears throat]
[39:45] >> Um I know I I I've appreciated the digs
[39:48] at uh LA throughout. Welcome. Funny
[39:50] enough, a lot of people from here flew
[39:53] all over the globe. We got Columbia,
[39:55] Sweden, Transylvania. Did you even know
[39:57] that was a place? That's a real place
[39:59] with Dracula.
[40:00] >> Yes, it's real. It's in New York.
[40:01] >> Is real like the like Bigfoot?
[40:03] >> Yeah, something like that.
[40:04] >> Bigfoot here. [laughter]
[40:06] >> Dracula's here.
[40:07] >> Wow. Colombia. Who's here from Colombia?
[40:10] >> Colia.
[40:12] >> Oh, okay. Right. Okay. At least you're
[40:13] male. We'll be fine. [laughter]
[40:18] Um, and so, you know, I I say that to
[40:21] show there's obviously real commitment
[40:22] and devotion to to doing this work, to
[40:25] fundamentally find a community with
[40:27] aligned senses of values and to discover
[40:30] more freedom internally in your life.
[40:31] So, that that commitment to show up and
[40:33] say yes is beautiful and it's one thing.
[40:38] I think I know I've struggled in my past
[40:40] with vulnerability in general as an
[40:43] umbrella like showing imperfection,
[40:46] showing the part that is yeah,
[40:48] >> not put together, showing the part, you
[40:50] know, that um doesn't have it all
[40:52] figured out.
[40:53] >> And we all have our own versions of
[40:54] whatever that patterning is.
[40:56] >> Yeah.
[40:57] >> Um why is it so scary at times to be
[41:00] vulnerable often actually truly vulner
[41:02] like vulnerable moments across the
[41:04] board? Why is why is that tough?
[41:07] I I mean first of all I love this guy
[41:09] right like I've worked with him as I
[41:11] said periodically we've been friends and
[41:12] like even for him to pose this question
[41:14] to me is so beautiful like right because
[41:16] the question itself is an expression of
[41:19] h can you feel that like is that like
[41:21] like is that something you're
[41:22] recognizing like so it's so beautiful
[41:25] because and this is why I love love
[41:27] right because going back to your
[41:28] previous question about what is the
[41:30] environment that we can curate or that
[41:32] we hope to have is safety so
[41:34] vulnerability is really like it's where
[41:36] you're for a minute, for a second, for
[41:38] for hopefully a little bit longer,
[41:40] you're dropping the mask that is your
[41:41] perceived protection mechanism. And so
[41:44] it's scary because deep in our DNA, I
[41:46] mean, if you look at us in terms of
[41:48] certainly us here, you know, we haven't
[41:50] been around that long, right? Like it
[41:52] wasn't that long ago that our DNA was
[41:54] truly wired for biological survival,
[41:57] right? What I'm talking about at
[41:58] survival is really psychological. It's
[42:00] identity. It's the curated ideas of
[42:02] yourself. But really biological survival
[42:05] was not that long ago, right? And so
[42:07] when you are experiencing the sematic
[42:11] visceral sense of vulnerability,
[42:14] it occurs as a potential death,
[42:17] which is why like, you know, I actually
[42:19] love the topic of death. Like as happy
[42:21] golucky as I am, like I think it's
[42:22] awesome. Like I'm always telling people
[42:24] the access to true life is to constantly
[42:26] die to the idea of yourself. So
[42:28] vulnerability is on the precipice of a
[42:31] form of death. And unless you're in a
[42:33] container that feels sufficiently safe,
[42:35] it can feel like fatalistic because it
[42:37] kind of is. So that's why it's really
[42:40] we're wired one of the p again
[42:42] primordial. Um
[42:45] >> now every time I say that word I'm
[42:47] >> cuz I'm a bit nervous about it now. So
[42:50] >> he makes fun of me. So I'm going to be
[42:52] vulnerable.
[42:53] >> Yeah. [laughter]
[42:55] >> So that sense of belonging is so
[42:58] hardwired, right? It's really is an
[43:00] energetic reflection of the underlying
[43:02] consciousness that is unity. But when
[43:04] you're looking through the lens of
[43:05] separation, it doesn't feel like that.
[43:07] So you're craving the unity that's
[43:09] always there. Just like hate to, you
[43:11] know, break the illusion, you're always
[43:13] part of source. You're always part of
[43:14] the gang. You don't need an American
[43:16] Express black card. You're in the
[43:17] humanity gang, right? And then there's
[43:19] the human part, which is so visceral. It
[43:22] feels like, yeah, but my neighbor
[43:23] doesn't like me. My mom's and my dad,
[43:25] they said that I wasn't wanted. I was a
[43:27] mistake. the things that kids hear like
[43:28] are really painful, right? And so you're
[43:31] really up against the the the the
[43:35] prop the propensity to want to be loved
[43:38] but looking from behind a mechanism that
[43:41] you've developed to be loved, right?
[43:43] Does that make sense? I know it's
[43:44] subtle. We want to be loved and accepted
[43:46] but the mechanism by which we try to
[43:48] garner that is itself a pretense. And so
[43:51] that's why the whole thing is so
[43:52] fragile. So when you start to really let
[43:54] that go and you're really really
[43:57] available perhaps for some people for
[43:59] the very first time, it's [ __ ] scary,
[44:01] right? And that's okay. So, but it's
[44:04] also the access to true intimacy. Like
[44:06] again, I write quotes and this is how I,
[44:08] you know, my book and all the things
[44:10] that I'm working on. I say as soon as
[44:12] you're okay being vulnerable, you're no
[44:15] longer vulnerable.
[44:17] Again, it's one of these paradoxes,
[44:18] right? Those who don't want to be
[44:21] vulnerable are vulnerable because you're
[44:23] hiding something. Going back to the
[44:24] quote he asked about freedom, right?
[44:25] When you got nothing to hide approval or
[44:26] want for like so if you got nothing to
[44:28] hide, you can be like for me I feel, you
[44:30] know, and again I'm not saying that I'm
[44:32] like this God's gift to like freedom,
[44:34] but I feel like at the bow of the boat
[44:35] of that for society, there may be some
[44:38] blind spots that are still going to be
[44:39] revealed in me and I'm happy for those
[44:41] to come to the surface, but otherwise I
[44:43] feel like there's nothing for me to
[44:44] hide. You could ask the most intimate
[44:46] questions of me, you know, and if
[44:47] they're not inappropriate and I'm
[44:48] disrespecting other people's like, you
[44:51] know, confidentiality, I'll share. It's
[44:53] like, what are you going to think of me?
[44:54] You know, it's like I the only thing
[44:56] that can hurt me is what I think of me.
[44:58] You're entitled to your opinion. So that
[45:00] tr that's true vulnerability, right?
[45:02] Which is really fundamentally it's a
[45:04] journey to true self-acceptance.
[45:07] So that's why it can be hard because
[45:08] vulnerability is on the other side of
[45:10] you not yet accepting yourself. You're
[45:12] outsourcing acceptance. You're you're
[45:14] hoping they accept you, but as soon as
[45:17] you're okay with you, then vulnerability
[45:18] leaves the building, right? Do do you
[45:21] follow? Because if you're okay with all
[45:22] of you, warts and all. There's no one
[45:24] here that's perfect. I hate to [ __ ]
[45:26] burst your bubble, right? Like, we're
[45:28] all flawed. We're all [ __ ] up. But if
[45:30] you're okay with that, then we got
[45:32] nothing to hide. That's the beauty of
[45:34] humanity. Like, you know, again, when I
[45:36] work with so many of the best performers
[45:37] in the world, and so many of these guys
[45:39] and girls who are paid millions of
[45:41] dollars to perform, one of their biggest
[45:42] obstacles is the expectation that
[45:45] they're some of the best in the world.
[45:46] And for that reason, they forget their
[45:48] humanity. One of my MLB guys, he he won.
[45:51] It was like incredible. The ML MVP of
[45:54] the season, there's only two may I'm not
[45:56] going to get into baseball, but National
[45:58] League, American League, one guy from
[46:00] each side. Like, it's a it's the most
[46:01] extraordinary accolade a guy can get.
[46:03] And this season he won, but at the
[46:05] beginning he was scuffling. He was
[46:06] striking out. He was getting pissed off.
[46:08] He's frustrated. He's one of the best
[46:10] players. And I laughed and I said,
[46:11] "Dude, you know, there's there's just
[46:13] one thing that you're not making space
[46:15] for." And he's like, "What is it?" I
[46:17] said, "That you have the capacity to
[46:18] suck,
[46:20] right? Like you really can suck." And
[46:24] he's like, "But dude, like I've got one
[46:25] of the biggest [ __ ] contracts in the
[46:26] league. I I know, but that doesn't give
[46:28] up the fact that you have the capacity
[46:29] to suck." and like he didn't want to
[46:32] hear it to begin with, but as soon as he
[46:34] made space for it, one of my quotes, I
[46:35] say, "The final stage of becoming a
[46:37] superhero to embrace all of the parts of
[46:39] you that aren't."
[46:41] Right? Clark Kent has to be there with
[46:42] Superman, right? And so that's the
[46:46] vulnerability. If you can be okay with
[46:48] your humanity, cuz we're all I mean,
[46:50] God, we're all so great at the
[46:52] perfectionistic tendencies, the
[46:54] behavioral adaptations, the the
[46:56] portraying like Andre just, you know,
[46:58] was admitting about himself, right? like
[47:01] very manicured, put together, beautiful
[47:02] guy. And many of much of it is
[47:05] [laughter]
[47:06] could work on that a little bit. But
[47:07] anyway,
[47:12] >> that was
[47:13] >> Yeah, can't can't free all of you
[47:15] [ __ ] I'd be out of business.
[47:17] Anyway, so the point is like for him to
[47:20] be able to share that, right, is to
[47:22] recognize the tendency that we all have,
[47:24] especially in a city that is so oriented
[47:26] around appearance and beauty and
[47:27] perfectionism that that itself becomes
[47:30] like a mechanism for trying to, as I
[47:33] said earlier, curate, garner, and get
[47:35] love and acceptance, not realizing that
[47:37] mechanism itself is the very obstacle to
[47:39] it. Isn't that crazy? You know, I say,
[47:42] "Please never become perfect. You'll
[47:44] have no one to [ __ ] relate to."
[47:46] >> Yeah. No, no, but I'm going to get that
[47:47] right. It's like what? [laughter]
[47:50] Anyway, so I hope that made sense.
[47:53] >> I think I answered the question.
[47:54] >> Yeah, you answered something.
[47:55] >> I said something. I said something. I
[47:57] said a lot.
[47:58] >> Primordial.
[47:59] >> Felt good. How do you feel? You had
[48:00] primordial.
[48:01] >> Just fall back [laughter] to primordial.
[48:05] >> These uh these nuts. What?
[48:08] >> Oh,
[48:08] >> you stole the words. [laughter]
[48:10] >> I'm not going to even finish that. I
[48:11] know you're going to say nice.
[48:13] >> I was talking about baseball. That's the
[48:14] only game we play. Hey, [laughter] they
[48:16] were looking for you. Who? These nuts.
[48:17] Anyway, boys in locker rooms. Anyway,
[48:20] whatever. Sorry, ladies.
[48:24] >> Uh,
[48:24] >> these what?
[48:25] >> Love you, Peter. [laughter]
[48:27] >> Love you. Love, lovely, lovely, lovely,
[48:29] lovely.
[48:32] [laughter]
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[49:34] [laughter]
[49:36] I find it really fascinating like these
[49:39] defense mechanisms, right? We can walk
[49:41] around life so often
[49:44] defending this idea of us and I love
[49:46] that
[49:47] >> just that visual of someone coming up to
[49:49] you and saying all these negative words
[49:51] in English which you understand and you
[49:52] get offended but in pig Latin or Italian
[49:55] it just bounces right off because you're
[49:57] not making meaning with what's being
[49:58] said.
[49:59] >> Exactly. And so to me
[50:02] that is a really potent insight to also
[50:04] like we're when someone says something
[50:06] to us or we get triggered. Yeah. That
[50:09] instead of viewing these things as
[50:11] faults um or bugs in our hardware,
[50:14] software, nervous system as like literal
[50:16] opportunities to find more freedom and
[50:18] liberation because it's revealing
[50:19] something to you.
[50:20] >> Absolutely. It's a gift. Yeah.
[50:21] >> Yeah. So any other thoughts you have
[50:24] there on def like defense mechanisms and
[50:26] how we can pay attention to those and
[50:28] then perhaps we can we can get into some
[50:30] with the the crew.
[50:31] >> Yeah. So again, you know, quotes comes
[50:33] to mind because that's how I tend to
[50:35] channel insights. So I say other
[50:36] people's words
[50:38] can only upset you to the degree that
[50:41] you already believe them.
[50:43] Right? So beyond the, you know, perfect
[50:46] example, someone's speaking Latin,
[50:48] Chinese, or whatever, you don't
[50:49] understand, it doesn't resonate because
[50:50] there's no coherence between your view
[50:52] of yourself and that which you're
[50:54] hearing, like, which I think is so
[50:55] ironic cuz I know growing up, we would
[50:57] always hear the expression, "Sticks and
[50:58] stones will break my bones, but words
[50:59] will never hurt me." And all I ever
[51:01] [ __ ] see is people being hurt by
[51:02] words these days.
[51:04] So really again it comes down to your
[51:05] capacity to listen where I very early on
[51:08] in my revelation on the back of that
[51:10] story that I told you where I
[51:12] experienced true freedom for the first
[51:13] time. You know, I had a question that I
[51:16] would constantly orient myself around,
[51:18] which is can I be with this, right?
[51:20] Whatever was occurring like, you know,
[51:22] in a very very boring, mundane way that
[51:25] the neighbor parked the car in my spot,
[51:27] something every day boring, right? But
[51:28] or person cut you off in traffic. How
[51:30] many of you get upset, right? [ __ ] you.
[51:33] And then you become really evolved and
[51:34] you're like, you think you're really
[51:36] smart, right? Like, no, I'm just going
[51:37] to be nice. Same [ __ ] energy. You
[51:39] just become more manipulative, right?
[51:41] But really, you're not okay with it.
[51:42] You're being upset. So really, yeah,
[51:45] it's the invitation to constantly
[51:47] reframe life and triggers, if that's a
[51:50] word that people use, or wherever you
[51:52] get upset in lay terms. What is it that
[51:54] you're not recognizing about your own
[51:57] inherent ability to truly be with
[51:59] everything, right? Like I I I'm not
[52:01] religious, but I pull tenants from all
[52:02] religions. For me, what's what's coming
[52:05] to mind is when Jesus says, "Forgive
[52:06] them, Lord, they know not what they do."
[52:09] Advanced state of consciousness, right?
[52:11] literally nails being put through his
[52:12] hands and feet, but his orientation is
[52:15] love. Don't think I'm at that level yet,
[52:18] right? I, you know, if a mosquito lands
[52:20] on my neck right now, I'm probably like
[52:22] going to slap the [ __ ] out of that right
[52:23] now. So, point is like what can you be
[52:26] with and what can't you be with in life
[52:28] is a way to start to recognize where
[52:31] you're still quote unquote fragile,
[52:33] vulnerable, or living in a state of
[52:35] fear. My more poetic quotes I say fear
[52:38] is that fear your fears are the beacons
[52:40] that light your path to freedom. So if
[52:42] you can orient that way and say rather
[52:44] than fears as something that we escape
[52:46] which in today's society becomes
[52:48] increasingly easy right there it's like
[52:51] what can't you find as a substance a
[52:53] distraction the phone the Netflix the
[52:55] food the alcohol the weed the drugs that
[52:58] is a form of escaping and numbing
[53:00] suffering but if you understand just
[53:02] like physiological symptoms that I was
[53:04] saying earlier in the six stages of
[53:05] disease when you're subtly aware enough
[53:08] of your own absence or loss of perceived
[53:10] freedom then that's the gift to see and
[53:13] harness where you have yet to discover
[53:15] some of your own divinity. So that's the
[53:18] reorientation, right? Is to recognize I
[53:21] I find joy now. Like it might sound a
[53:24] little sadistic, but if I do come up
[53:26] against somewhere where I feel scared,
[53:28] worried, hurt, upset, fearful, to me,
[53:31] wo, it's gold, right? Because I know
[53:33] that freedom is on the other side of
[53:35] that. Like the the the subtitle of my
[53:38] book is discover the world of freedom,
[53:39] love and possibility on the other side
[53:42] of your subconscious limitations. So my
[53:45] work is not about solving problems. It's
[53:47] dissolution. It's a dissolving of
[53:49] whatever is in the way, you know, of the
[53:51] metaphorical spiritual six-pack, right?
[53:53] So that's the opportunity of fear is
[53:55] that really something's being revealed
[53:56] in you that is currently a constraint
[53:58] that is skewing your own understanding
[54:01] of your true divinity and your capacity
[54:03] to be with everything. So, does does
[54:05] that help you reorient? Can now some of
[54:07] you even look at your own circumstances
[54:09] in life and go, "Wait a minute. Here's a
[54:11] gift." Yeah. No.
[54:17] [laughter]
[54:18] I love the engagement.
[54:22] Uh [laughter]
[54:24] the uh it's I think what's really
[54:26] powerful is actually see it in action.
[54:28] >> Yeah. because it's one thing to say it
[54:31] and it's another thing to vulnerably
[54:33] share what a pattern is.
[54:36] >> And there's always this like beautiful
[54:39] flip and there's a moment when it hits
[54:41] and the insight hits of how it's been
[54:43] serving you and protecting you in a way
[54:45] that you can finally release once you
[54:47] see through.
[54:48] >> Yeah. So,
[54:50] it's a vulnerable ask, but if anybody
[54:53] has a
[54:56] pattern that keeps reoccurring in their
[54:58] life, a cycle that keeps coming back
[54:59] into their life, something they're
[55:00] struggling with, um, as opposed to a
[55:03] question, I would love if you could
[55:04] speak from your first person experience.
[55:07] If you just raise your hand and we'll
[55:09] pass you a mic.
[55:10] >> I believe you're the first. Is that who
[55:12] we got back there?
[55:14] >> Khalen.
[55:14] >> Khen.
[55:15] >> I don't bite. I'm I'm very loving. You
[55:17] want to maybe come o over here? Yeah,
[55:19] >> that'd be cool.
[55:21] >> I promise I won't hurt you more than
[55:23] you've already been hurting yourself.
[55:26] >> Oh, wow. This is the Dracula.
[55:28] >> Oh, okay. Here we go.
[55:30] >> Let's go. What you got? Bring out the
[55:33] fangs. Hi.
[55:35] >> Hi.
[55:35] >> What's your name?
[55:36] >> I'm Khen.
[55:37] >> Khen. Nice to meet you.
[55:38] >> Yeah. Talking about defense mechanism,
[55:41] the one that I that I my sword is my
[55:44] humor. and Andre has done an incredible
[55:47] job um and the other workshop uh to make
[55:52] me cry and feel all of my emotions that
[55:54] by the time I get to dinner I can only
[55:56] crack jokes.
[55:57] >> Okay.
[55:58] >> Um so here's the question. Yeah.
[56:00] >> Um
[56:05] >> there's part of me that is thriving in
[56:07] life. You know, I've changed something.
[56:09] I'm doing something that I'm more
[56:11] aligned with and like I finally feel
[56:14] that I'm I'm going in the right
[56:16] direction and the sale is behind me.
[56:18] >> Yeah.
[56:19] >> But I'm not there yet in terms of
[56:21] generating revenue, in terms of
[56:23] >> Right.
[56:24] >> So there's another part of me that is
[56:26] like still,
[56:28] >> you [clears throat] know, fighting for
[56:29] survival. There's there's I need to pay
[56:32] rent, right? Another job that I have,
[56:35] let's call it my Uber driver job. Mhm.
[56:38] >> Um, and that that Uber driver job is is
[56:43] is is
[56:45] the way it shows up is very compulsive.
[56:47] Like I I I need to make this money cuz
[56:48] otherwise I'm not going to
[56:50] >> I'm not going to pay rent.
[56:51] >> Yeah.
[56:52] >> And I [clears throat] want to do more of
[56:53] the other job that feels fun and aligned
[56:55] with me. Yeah.
[56:56] >> But like the practical reality is
[56:58] pushing me
[57:00] >> into the fear of how am I going to pay
[57:03] rent? like I need to I need to grind
[57:05] through this other job
[57:07] >> to be able to
[57:10] do this and and so I'm struggling two
[57:12] versions of me and like [clears throat]
[57:15] the the one the uber one is is kind of
[57:18] sort of pulling me down.
[57:20] >> Yeah.
[57:20] >> Um how can I
[57:25] Yeah. How can I let go of of this or
[57:29] like I don't know
[57:33] I want to do more of the other job. I
[57:35] want life to be easier. I don't want to
[57:37] struggle that much through life.
[57:38] >> Okay. [laughter]
[57:41] >> Reasonable.
[57:41] >> So, you're trying to tell me you're
[57:42] lazy. [laughter]
[57:44] >> On the contrary.
[57:46] >> No, I get it. So, first of all, thank
[57:48] you. So, like, who can relate to in your
[57:51] own world something akin to that, right?
[57:53] there's something that you're doing that
[57:54] you don't kind of like that in his terms
[57:57] pushes him into fear and then there's
[57:59] something that you're more passionate
[58:00] about someone some whatever right that's
[58:03] I would say a pretty everyday example
[58:06] so what's always the tell for me is the
[58:08] way that he speaks he started with that
[58:10] andre makes me cry now I was a joke I
[58:13] get the context
[58:14] >> it was true it was hard
[58:17] >> don't interrupt [laughter]
[58:20] >> not married yet I can [ __ ] call this
[58:22] whole thing
[58:24] Thank you, Andre. [laughter]
[58:26] >> Love you, my Dracula.
[58:30] >> So, what I hear immediately, cuz I want
[58:32] to take you through part of the process
[58:33] of what's going on in my mind. Would
[58:35] that be fascinating to see? So,
[58:40] I'll cut out the X-rated parts.
[58:42] So, already what I can hear is that very
[58:46] much to do with what I was explaining
[58:47] earlier, the 1.0 orientation is that How
[58:51] do you pronounce your name again? Sorry,
[58:52] >> Khen.
[58:53] >> Khen. Okay. So, Khen is very much in a
[58:56] very normal factory default setting of
[58:58] what it is to be a human, which he's
[59:00] outsourcing his experiences.
[59:03] He used language. Andre made me cry.
[59:06] Subtle, but most of you may like it. But
[59:08] that's what happened. But if you listen
[59:10] to the way he speaks, within the first 5
[59:12] seconds of him introducing himself, I
[59:14] know that he's under the impression that
[59:16] he feels the way he feels because of
[59:18] events.
[59:20] Does that make sense?
[59:22] Now, that's normal. That's how you, you
[59:23] know, it's the biggest illusion of being
[59:25] human is I feel the way I feel because,
[59:27] right, that because fill in the blank.
[59:29] Well, I'm depressed because I'm upset
[59:32] because my mom, my dad, whatever,
[59:34] they're having an argument. So,
[59:35] immediately I can hear that this guy
[59:37] doesn't understand how powerful he is,
[59:39] which then immediately without him even
[59:41] saying anything, I know that he's
[59:42] probably going to struggle with his
[59:43] ability to self-express, which is
[59:45] usually manifested for the masculine in
[59:47] some sort of security, which is
[59:49] associated with finance. This is before
[59:51] he's even gone into his story. I don't
[59:52] know that he does Uber. He also said
[59:54] that Uber then pushes him to fear more
[59:57] external. He's outsourcing his way of
[1:00:00] feeling. So he would want to do the
[1:00:02] other thing cuz he loves that more. So
[1:00:05] now he's telling me that he has no
[1:00:06] domain, no sovereignty. I want to do the
[1:00:09] other thing. Like is someone holding a
[1:00:10] gun against his head? No. His own fear
[1:00:12] of survival is the perceived obstacle to
[1:00:15] him being able to make choice. So now
[1:00:18] what I hear is a little boy who perhaps
[1:00:20] didn't have too much domain in his
[1:00:22] ability to make choices. Again, like I'm
[1:00:24] extrapolating, right? So what I'd like
[1:00:27] to hear from Khen a little bit is like
[1:00:29] what was his childhood like because I
[1:00:31] hear already an absence of power. I
[1:00:34] don't hear abuse. I don't hear harm. I
[1:00:36] don't hear like lack of real selfworth,
[1:00:39] but there's absence of power.
[1:00:42] So, anything that I've shared that
[1:00:44] resonates or tell me some of the
[1:00:45] incidences you went through as a kid
[1:00:47] where maybe you were starting to feel
[1:00:49] some of the things I'm talking about.
[1:00:50] And it's okay if they weren't, but
[1:00:52] again, I'm I'm making assumptions.
[1:00:55] >> Yes. So, I grew up in a house household
[1:00:58] where
[1:01:00] yeah, I wasn't allowed to feel powerful.
[1:01:01] Right. I grew up with a with a mom that
[1:01:03] was always right. Right. So it was love
[1:01:06] and it was a um you know a gentle upgra
[1:01:09] upbringing but I never won an argument
[1:01:13] um
[1:01:14] >> and whenever I won an argument you know
[1:01:17] I would create upset uh because I won
[1:01:20] the argument
[1:01:20] >> right
[1:01:21] >> so yeah so right so I was tracking right
[1:01:24] so I could have maybe guessed that I
[1:01:26] might have gone lean towards the dad but
[1:01:29] either way I can feel a kid who was
[1:01:31] taught the language of behavior He's a
[1:01:34] nice guy, you know, he's very polite.
[1:01:37] He's articulate. Like, he's learned the
[1:01:38] attributes of being somebody who
[1:01:40] conforms. So, conformity is another form
[1:01:43] of survival. So, now what I hear because
[1:01:45] of what he's just shared is that he
[1:01:47] could never win an argument. So, now
[1:01:49] he's being taught that he has no uh
[1:01:52] power is the real word, right? Like that
[1:01:54] that he doesn't have his ability. And
[1:01:56] it's also double-sided, right? Because
[1:01:58] when he did, there would be upset what
[1:02:00] he just shared. So now he's learned that
[1:02:02] mostly he doesn't have any say but when
[1:02:04] he does there's the uh fear of
[1:02:07] consequences.
[1:02:08] Nice guy. I don't want to do anything to
[1:02:10] upset anybody. So think about this as
[1:02:12] the masculine the divine masculine. He
[1:02:14] wants to impact change whatever his
[1:02:17] industry or business is that he's
[1:02:18] passionate about which as I'm asserting
[1:02:20] without knowing it is going to be
[1:02:22] something that has a it makes a
[1:02:23] difference. But who he is energetically
[1:02:25] is somebody who's not allowed to make a
[1:02:27] difference. Can you immediately see the
[1:02:29] conflict? So, he's oriented, his nervous
[1:02:32] system is don't do anything that's going
[1:02:34] to upset people. But if you're a real
[1:02:36] masculine, I I hate to say this, you're
[1:02:38] going to upset the the apple car, right?
[1:02:41] Like, if you're really committed to
[1:02:42] purpose, then you are really oriented
[1:02:45] about making change. But his nervous
[1:02:47] system is like, so he's got one foot on
[1:02:49] the brake, ironic, as an Uber driver,
[1:02:51] and one on the accelerator, right? Which
[1:02:53] is like, I want to do this, but I can't.
[1:02:55] So, that's where friction. How old are
[1:02:57] you?
[1:02:58] >> I'm 39.
[1:02:59] >> 39. Okay, great. Do you have any kind of
[1:03:01] physical ailments at this point?
[1:03:02] Anything that you struggle with your
[1:03:04] body?
[1:03:04] >> No.
[1:03:04] >> Okay, great. So, he's got good
[1:03:06] constitution. I would give him another
[1:03:08] decade. It's not going to happen now
[1:03:10] because we're changing timeline. So,
[1:03:11] he's going to have a different future by
[1:03:13] virtue of this conversation. If he'd
[1:03:14] stayed on this trajectory, are you
[1:03:16] married? I'm not. Okay. So, whatever his
[1:03:21] relationships, and again, that would
[1:03:22] have been a guess that I'd make because
[1:03:24] again, his masculine his his energetic
[1:03:27] masculine is compromised. He's really a
[1:03:29] grown man who's 39 but looking through
[1:03:31] the nervous system of a boy who doesn't
[1:03:33] want to upset the apple cart. Right. So
[1:03:35] can you start to feel the the the
[1:03:37] disparity between conscious intention
[1:03:39] but energetic visceral like blockages?
[1:03:43] Does that are you seeing that? So I
[1:03:46] understand with your mom your parents
[1:03:47] still alive?
[1:03:48] >> They are. Yes.
[1:03:49] >> Okay. And what is your relationship
[1:03:50] right now especially with your mom?
[1:03:53] >> Um yeah we're on good terms. Um I think
[1:03:57] where
[1:03:59] um
[1:04:00] there was a moment in my relationship
[1:04:02] with my mom where my mom started
[1:04:04] speaking to me and she said, "You know
[1:04:07] what? For most of my life, I I told you
[1:04:09] that I was right. I I'm now shutting up
[1:04:11] because I feel like there's a lot of
[1:04:12] wisdom that I get from you. So um I'm
[1:04:15] going to listen to you."
[1:04:16] >> Okay, great. So that's an invitation
[1:04:18] where life is actually like now trying
[1:04:19] to encourage him to say it's okay. It's
[1:04:22] safe. Right? Again, all of these things
[1:04:24] happen magically. It's not really his
[1:04:25] mom. I would say forget about the
[1:04:27] personification. You're not falling in
[1:04:29] love with someone. Somebody is the
[1:04:30] inspiration and the catalyst for the
[1:04:32] love that you discover inside of
[1:04:33] yourself. So that's an invitation. Life
[1:04:35] through his mom, which was the previous,
[1:04:37] you know, adversary for him is now
[1:04:40] saying, "No, it's okay. You can come out
[1:04:41] to play." So this is perfect timing.
[1:04:43] When did that conversation happen?
[1:04:45] >> Uh over the last probably two years ago.
[1:04:48] >> Okay, great. And have you noticed within
[1:04:50] yourself since that conversation any
[1:04:52] kind of shifts in your behavior, your
[1:04:54] demeanor, life, opportunities, anything?
[1:04:57] Doesn't have to be significant, but
[1:05:00] >> yeah. And yeah, it's been it's gradual
[1:05:02] change over the last two years and and
[1:05:04] me not, you know, casting myself as the
[1:05:07] victim of my own destiny and just
[1:05:09] stepping into the things.
[1:05:11] >> See what I said at the beginning going
[1:05:13] back to my first statement that he said
[1:05:15] Andre made me cry. He's still
[1:05:16] outsourcing which is why he hasn't
[1:05:18] tapped into the power. He needed his
[1:05:20] mom, boy, mom, you know, girl, dad. Very
[1:05:23] simple dynamics that typically inform
[1:05:25] us. So, he's still, unbeknownst to him
[1:05:28] that I'm giving him now, being informed
[1:05:30] by whether his mom gives him permission
[1:05:32] or not to be who he wants to be. Can you
[1:05:35] see that? Can any of you relate to that
[1:05:37] in your own relationships? Whether it be
[1:05:38] to Yeah. Okay. Thank you for
[1:05:40] participating.
[1:05:42] Yeah. So, this is beautiful. So you
[1:05:44] obviously have a for me karmically
[1:05:47] you're being given light lessons. It's
[1:05:48] nothing too dramatic. You're 39, you're
[1:05:50] healthy. It sounds like, you know,
[1:05:52] relationships, you know, is going to be
[1:05:53] interesting for you. And that would be
[1:05:54] the next evolution for you is to
[1:05:56] actually embody the divine feminine as
[1:05:59] part of your existence cuz right now
[1:06:01] you're not wired to hold space for that,
[1:06:03] right? Does that make sense? So meaning
[1:06:05] like
[1:06:06] >> Yeah.
[1:06:06] >> Yeah. So have you struggled in
[1:06:08] relationships before?
[1:06:09] >> Yeah, I have.
[1:06:10] >> Yeah. So, because his orientation is he
[1:06:13] doesn't want to upset the feminine, good
[1:06:15] luck with that in a relationship with a
[1:06:17] woman, right? The woman's asking for you
[1:06:21] to accept her upset, right? I had a guy
[1:06:24] that I worked with at my live event. He
[1:06:26] came back to the one last night, but I'd
[1:06:28] worked with him previously. He and I'll
[1:06:30] come back to you, Ken. This is all going
[1:06:32] to help you, okay? I promise you this is
[1:06:33] a segue that is for your benefit. So, he
[1:06:35] when he was eight, he and his brother
[1:06:37] asked his dad to take him out, you know,
[1:06:39] just they wanted to go out. They're
[1:06:40] 8-year-olds
[1:06:41] and um so they went out and then 30 40
[1:06:44] minutes after they left the house, the
[1:06:45] dad picks up a girlfriend.
[1:06:48] He's married, right? So this is like,
[1:06:50] oops, this is strange. So they go about
[1:06:51] their day and then they come back and
[1:06:53] this is a grown man who's now 57, 58 at
[1:06:56] a live event in front of a few hundred
[1:06:57] people. And he said, you know, so I came
[1:06:59] back and when we got home, we dropped
[1:07:01] off the girlfriend and my dad said,
[1:07:03] "Don't tell your mom."
[1:07:06] >> Right? Just feel that, right? Like the
[1:07:09] pressure that's being put on an
[1:07:10] 8-year-old boy
[1:07:12] through the cowardice of a grown ass man
[1:07:15] who's not in a relationship, as I said
[1:07:16] earlier, he's in a relationship with his
[1:07:18] own lies. The boy who's now a grown man
[1:07:21] in my seminar, he runs straight into the
[1:07:24] house and tells the mom
[1:07:27] and you can imagine. So now what he was
[1:07:30] struggling with, which is anxiety, a
[1:07:32] feeling of like he's worthless. Like
[1:07:34] fundamentally what I come down to these
[1:07:36] like primordial conversations about how
[1:07:38] you define yourself. For him it's it's
[1:07:40] all his fault. They got divorced about a
[1:07:42] month later. And of course the
[1:07:44] 8-year-old, what does he decide? It's my
[1:07:46] fault. If I hadn't told mom, right? So
[1:07:49] here he is now, literally 50 years
[1:07:51] later, still living inside of a nervous
[1:07:53] system which is trying desperately not
[1:07:55] to do anything wrong or upset anyone.
[1:07:58] The obvious association with his fear
[1:08:00] was that he pissed off his dad. They
[1:08:01] were going to the fun fair a few about a
[1:08:03] month later. They were in the car. He
[1:08:04] said, "I'll never forget. I'm sitting in
[1:08:06] the back seat with my brother." My dad
[1:08:07] looks around and says, "We're getting
[1:08:09] divorced." And look straight at him.
[1:08:12] So for 50 years, five decades, you know,
[1:08:15] he's pretty strong. He's built like an
[1:08:16] ox, but he'd had all sorts of surgeries
[1:08:18] and issues, which is where things are
[1:08:19] falling apart. The energetic precursor
[1:08:21] to your anatomy, obviously starting to
[1:08:24] feel in a state of disease. But when I
[1:08:26] sat there, I thought the obvious one was
[1:08:28] he pissed off his dad. But what actually
[1:08:30] got revealed in the conversation was
[1:08:32] beautiful because he said yeah I said so
[1:08:34] I of course helped him see is it your
[1:08:36] fault like is it and he felt yes. I
[1:08:38] said, "No, but is it truly your fault at
[1:08:40] 8?" And he's like, "No, of course it's
[1:08:42] not." Who could you be in the absence of
[1:08:43] that? Like you could just see his face
[1:08:45] light up. He's like, "Holy [ __ ] finally
[1:08:47] free, right?" But he gave us a little
[1:08:49] anecdote at the end. He said, "And I
[1:08:50] decided at that moment I'd never put
[1:08:52] that look on a woman's face again."
[1:08:55] And that was the goal because he
[1:08:57] realized as an 8-year-old, you can
[1:08:59] imagine, right? an 8-year-old. The boys
[1:09:01] and the dad and the husband have been
[1:09:02] out hopefully hopefully she's at home
[1:09:04] cooking a lovely meal to have all her
[1:09:06] boys come home and she finds out that
[1:09:08] the husband's cheating. You can imagine
[1:09:10] you women particularly what that might
[1:09:11] have elicited as an expression. And that
[1:09:14] little boy, it was almost blazed into
[1:09:15] his mind. I will never put that look on
[1:09:17] a woman's face. And I said to him, I
[1:09:20] hope you do.
[1:09:22] Not because I want you to upset anyone,
[1:09:24] but because I want you to become
[1:09:25] sufficient enough of a man that you can
[1:09:27] hold space for a woman to have any
[1:09:29] emotion she needs.
[1:09:32] And that changed. He said, "Holy [ __ ] I
[1:09:34] was married for 12 years. I could never
[1:09:36] be with." He said, "If my wife got upset
[1:09:37] and we went to bed angry, I would just
[1:09:40] like try to just touch her like that.
[1:09:42] Like I just want to know that we're
[1:09:43] okay." Can you feel that? Like a grown
[1:09:45] ass man. So I share that view, my
[1:09:48] friend, because there's a part of your
[1:09:49] nervous system that's oriented that way,
[1:09:51] which is you're wired to not upset
[1:09:53] anyone. Now, if you look at it beyond
[1:09:56] relationships, you look at a business as
[1:09:57] a business, I don't know what your
[1:09:59] venture is, it doesn't matter. If you're
[1:10:01] going to create a business that is worth
[1:10:03] anything, you have to disrupt something.
[1:10:06] Do you see that?
[1:10:07] >> Yep, I do.
[1:10:09] So what I want you to consider is that
[1:10:11] currently the way you're oriented
[1:10:12] doesn't allow you to be successful in
[1:10:15] life, in finance, in relationships.
[1:10:18] Doesn't make you a bad person. You're a
[1:10:20] sweetheart. But the invitation is to see
[1:10:23] what is the lie you're living behind,
[1:10:24] which is that you mustn't upset anyone.
[1:10:28] Can you can you feel that?
[1:10:31] >> Yeah. Um it's present because I've felt
[1:10:34] it. Every time someone else upsets
[1:10:36] anyone else, my nervous system reacts or
[1:10:39] was like, "Oh, you've been too harsh to
[1:10:41] the other person." Do you see how like
[1:10:43] it's so subtle? It's not even him that
[1:10:46] has to do it. It's so sensitive. Which
[1:10:48] will make him a nice guy. He's lovely.
[1:10:51] Anyone who's spoken to him in the last
[1:10:53] day or two. Oh, he's so Kayen is so
[1:10:55] nice. Not going to become a [ __ ]
[1:10:58] billionaire, though.
[1:10:58] >> I'm also a [ __ ] badass.
[1:11:01] >> Okay, there he is. There he is. Just
[1:11:03] waiting for that to come out. Yeah,
[1:11:05] let's go. What you got? [laughter]
[1:11:07] >> I've got everything. I'm I'm really
[1:11:09] worried about out humoring you.
[1:11:11] [laughter]
[1:11:13] >> Delusional, too.
[1:11:16] >> Got a long way to go, buddy.
[1:11:18] >> I know. Um, but I'm I'm I'm planning to
[1:11:21] walk on water.
[1:11:22] >> Yeah. Okay, good. Let me know when that
[1:11:24] happens. See if you can just date a
[1:11:26] woman first. [laughter]
[1:11:30] >> Let's see. I will go toe-to-toe with
[1:11:32] this guy. I want I want this. I want him
[1:11:35] to find that like right that hood spot.
[1:11:37] Tap into that root [ __ ] chakra. So,
[1:11:40] is it true if you look at what I just
[1:11:42] shared, if I were to cut you open, am I
[1:11:45] going to find a manufacturing label that
[1:11:47] says Kalin like he can't upset people?
[1:11:50] Is that part of your makeup
[1:11:51] physiologically?
[1:11:52] >> I think it was up until recently,
[1:11:54] >> but not phys stay with the language,
[1:11:56] right? Like, is it true as part if I cut
[1:11:58] you open? I'm being right. Am I going to
[1:12:01] find physical manufacturing label inside
[1:12:03] your body that says that you're not
[1:12:06] allowed to upset anyone?
[1:12:08] >> Yes or no?
[1:12:10] >> Not anymore.
[1:12:12] >> But there was one before.
[1:12:13] >> Yes.
[1:12:14] >> Will you [ __ ] get this guy to a
[1:12:15] medic? [laughter]
[1:12:17] Listen, be in the conversation with me.
[1:12:19] Right. Like I know we're playing and
[1:12:21] you've got a great sense of humor, but
[1:12:22] that's also, as you said, you realize is
[1:12:24] one of the ways you protect yourself.
[1:12:26] Now we're getting into the nitty-gritty,
[1:12:27] right? I want you to be with me. Your
[1:12:29] capacity to make impact is inextricably
[1:12:32] connected to your ability to be present.
[1:12:34] >> Okay? When you're living in a world
[1:12:36] where you're protecting yourself, your
[1:12:37] ability to be present, which is
[1:12:39] imperative when you're with a woman. Cuz
[1:12:42] if that little boy gets triggered, you
[1:12:44] you're not there anymore. And she'll
[1:12:45] feel that immediately, right? So now
[1:12:48] this is the mano mano, right? I'm here
[1:12:49] with you cuz I [ __ ] care. And I see
[1:12:51] an extraordinary man who's waiting to
[1:12:53] access the power that is your divine
[1:12:54] right. So if I cut you open, stay in the
[1:12:58] conversation. Am I going to find a
[1:12:59] physical manufacturing label made of
[1:13:01] wood, metal, or plastic that says Kalin,
[1:13:03] he's not allowed to upset anyone?
[1:13:07] >> Yeah, probably.
[1:13:08] >> Okay, dude. You're doing great. You're
[1:13:11] in front of everyone. You're the first
[1:13:12] one. You're in the hot seat. If I cut
[1:13:14] you open, let's just stay away from the
[1:13:15] manufacturing label. If I cut you open,
[1:13:18] what am I going to find? Give me some
[1:13:19] examples.
[1:13:20] >> You're going to find my organs. You're
[1:13:21] going to find my You're going to find
[1:13:23] everything else, right? Yeah.
[1:13:25] >> Am I going to find a physical
[1:13:26] manufacturing label made of wood,
[1:13:28] plastic, or metal that says Kayen, he's
[1:13:30] not allowed to upset anyone?
[1:13:31] >> No, you're not.
[1:13:32] >> Okay, great. Right. Do you see the
[1:13:34] difference? Right. So, where But do you
[1:13:36] see that it informs the way that you
[1:13:38] think, feel, and act? Right. That lens,
[1:13:40] that perspective, right? You're looking
[1:13:41] through the even people who are being
[1:13:43] mean to somebody else, it triggers
[1:13:45] something in you. That's how sensitive
[1:13:47] that particular orientation is for you.
[1:13:49] >> Yes. So if it's not part of your
[1:13:52] hardware, if somebody knew how to read
[1:13:53] the genome, we could go down to the
[1:13:55] chromosome. That's hardware that would
[1:13:57] discern, I can't see from now, why your
[1:13:58] eyes are the color your eyes are, why
[1:14:00] you have the height, right? That's part
[1:14:01] of the genetic code. That's hardware. So
[1:14:04] where does the you're not allowed to
[1:14:06] hurt anyone or be right about something
[1:14:08] or impact or make change or upset
[1:14:10] anyone, where does that live?
[1:14:13] Where is it?
[1:14:16] >> It's constructed in my mind.
[1:14:18] >> Correct. It's a lens you look through.
[1:14:20] It's an orientation. It's a perspective.
[1:14:22] Right? If it's a perspective, if it's a
[1:14:24] lens you look through, can it be who you
[1:14:27] are? Is it literally who Kalin is?
[1:14:31] >> No.
[1:14:31] >> No. Awesome. Now, so it's made up. It's
[1:14:35] a lens. It's an orientation. Here's a
[1:14:37] trick question. I'm going to pre pre
[1:14:39] preempt it as trick. If you were born
[1:14:41] with blue tinted glasses on, how would
[1:14:44] everything look?
[1:14:49] blue,
[1:14:49] >> right? That's the trick. If you were
[1:14:51] born with blue tinted glasses on, it
[1:14:53] would look normal.
[1:14:54] >> Ah. Ah.
[1:14:56] >> Yes.
[1:14:56] >> Right. So, you're normal, which is how
[1:14:59] you are like oriented to the world is
[1:15:02] don't do anything to up upset anyone.
[1:15:05] >> Yes.
[1:15:06] >> Now, we're revealing it. We're lifting.
[1:15:08] You don't see the blue until you lift
[1:15:09] the blue up. Right. So, the lens that
[1:15:11] you look through, which also informs the
[1:15:12] way you think, feel, your nervous
[1:15:14] system, the way you behave. nice guy.
[1:15:16] You know, there is a dormant badass. I
[1:15:18] get that. And we're going to make him
[1:15:20] much more present. But if you look
[1:15:22] through that, how does that impact your
[1:15:24] life? If you're looking through I can't
[1:15:27] really make change. I can't upset
[1:15:29] people. Don't do anything wrong. How
[1:15:32] could how does that hit you as you look
[1:15:33] at that? If that's the way that you
[1:15:35] relate to life, not always, but as a
[1:15:37] predominant theme, what does that cost
[1:15:40] you?
[1:15:41] >> It's disempowering. I don't go for the
[1:15:44] big swings. I don't do what I want. I
[1:15:46] don't pursue my biggest and wildest
[1:15:48] dreams.
[1:15:49] >> And how did you start this whole
[1:15:50] conversation with me? What was your main
[1:15:54] bugaboo? What is your problem?
[1:15:57] >> That
[1:15:59] based on what you just said, you got
[1:16:01] these two things, right?
[1:16:02] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:16:04] >> Which are really the fundamental context
[1:16:06] is that you're not pursuing the big
[1:16:08] things. You're not pursuing what you
[1:16:09] want.
[1:16:10] >> Yeah.
[1:16:10] >> And we just came to the source of it.
[1:16:12] You can't if you look literally you
[1:16:14] can't if you're looking through the lens
[1:16:15] of don't do anything wrong don't upset
[1:16:17] people how are you going to impact
[1:16:19] change
[1:16:22] do can you make the con is everyone
[1:16:23] following can you see the connection
[1:16:25] >> y
[1:16:26] >> you're a man right your divinity as a
[1:16:28] masculine is to make change is to
[1:16:31] transform from what I can tell you're a
[1:16:33] fire type in Iveda like to transform is
[1:16:35] your gift but when you're being informed
[1:16:38] by the mindset of a boy who's scared to
[1:16:41] do anything wrong. As you said
[1:16:43] correctly, it's completely
[1:16:44] disempowering. I said, "We're in the
[1:16:46] arena of power with you." I felt it
[1:16:48] immediately. You're outsourcing your
[1:16:50] experience of life. That's the most
[1:16:52] disempowering way to I feel the way I
[1:16:54] feel because now fortunately, life
[1:16:56] created two years ago at least some sort
[1:16:58] of upleveling, a slight upgrade to your
[1:17:01] experience because your mom said that
[1:17:03] she wants to listen to your wisdom and
[1:17:04] whatever she shared that there was a
[1:17:06] little invitation for you to come out of
[1:17:08] your cage. But I'm like saying, "Fuck
[1:17:10] it. blow the cage open. I don't give a
[1:17:13] [ __ ] if you drive an Uber ever again.
[1:17:15] Cuz on the other side of you not doing
[1:17:17] that, all there is is a fear that you're
[1:17:19] going to do something wrong, make a
[1:17:21] mistake, or not be okay. Can you feel
[1:17:22] that?
[1:17:23] >> Yeah, I can.
[1:17:24] >> Yeah. That's survival. So, you have a
[1:17:26] choice. You either live or you survive.
[1:17:30] I guarantee you if you get I'm not
[1:17:31] telling you to give up your quote
[1:17:33] unquote whatever you perceive as
[1:17:34] security, which is completely illusory.
[1:17:36] All it's actually securing is your own
[1:17:38] story that you can't be [ __ ]
[1:17:40] phenomenally powerful, right? That's
[1:17:42] what you're actually securing is not
[1:17:44] finances. I don't know what you make as
[1:17:45] an Uber driver, but I'm guaranteeing it.
[1:17:47] It's not what you want, but it is
[1:17:49] sustaining the ill. That's the only
[1:17:51] security you've got is maintaining your
[1:17:53] fear. That's what you're feeding. That's
[1:17:56] what you're investing in. Doesn't make
[1:17:58] you a bad person, but how long are you
[1:18:01] going to keep doing that?
[1:18:04] Like to me, like I literally ended my
[1:18:06] mastermind today with somebody who was
[1:18:08] doing something very similar. He was
[1:18:10] told as a young boy that he was too
[1:18:12] gregarious. He was too excited about
[1:18:14] life. He was actually too talented. Calm
[1:18:16] down cuz we don't want to upset your
[1:18:18] sister
[1:18:19] two years younger cuz she was a bit more
[1:18:21] fragile. He now talking to me,
[1:18:24] 51-year-old man is wondering why he sort
[1:18:26] of feels a little bit like bored in life
[1:18:29] and he's not playing his sport was
[1:18:31] badminton and his business isn't quite
[1:18:33] doing. I'm like, because you've been
[1:18:34] told that being you is not you're not
[1:18:36] you're not allowed to be you. Do do you
[1:18:39] feel that? Like you're you but you're
[1:18:41] not allowed to be you. Go and have fun.
[1:18:44] Right. You're powerful but you're not
[1:18:47] allowed to make any kind of change or
[1:18:48] upset anybody. Do you see the conflict?
[1:18:52] >> Yeah, I do.
[1:18:53] >> Yeah. So again, I'm not telling you I'm
[1:18:56] not in the instruction business. I'm not
[1:18:57] an expert. But my invitation is for you
[1:18:59] to consider that your story about Uber
[1:19:02] has some form of security. The only
[1:19:03] thing that you're securing is your own
[1:19:05] limitations.
[1:19:09] >> Yeah. [ __ ] that.
[1:19:10] >> What's that?
[1:19:10] >> I said, "Fuck that. I'm not going to do
[1:19:12] that."
[1:19:12] >> Yeah. Okay. No,
[1:19:15] because because playing it safe is the
[1:19:17] riskiest way to live and he's playing
[1:19:18] itself. So, through no fault of his own,
[1:19:20] I'm This is tough love, right? Like I'm
[1:19:22] appealing to the man who's waiting to be
[1:19:24] born. There was someone in my live event
[1:19:26] last night who'd had chronic pain in his
[1:19:28] back for 10 years, which is a lie. No
[1:19:31] one's got chronic anything. You've just
[1:19:32] got a memory that makes it s more
[1:19:34] significant. I'm like, well, what
[1:19:35] happened before the 10 years? Well, I
[1:19:36] didn't have back pain. Well, then it's
[1:19:37] not [ __ ] chronic, right? And do you
[1:19:40] have pain all the time? No. Sometimes it
[1:19:41] comes and goes. Well, it's definitely
[1:19:42] not chronic. But chronic gives you
[1:19:44] significance. Like, because you think
[1:19:46] it's going to happen forever and it's
[1:19:48] like, oh, I never looked at it like
[1:19:49] that. Do you if I told you that your
[1:19:50] back pain's gone in a month, how would
[1:19:52] you feel? It's like, oh, I'd feel
[1:19:53] amazing. How does your back feel right
[1:19:54] now? It actually feels a bit lighter,
[1:19:56] right? You start to declare your own
[1:19:58] existence without realizing it and then
[1:20:00] looking for evidence to reinforce it all
[1:20:01] the time. So being smart, one of my
[1:20:04] quotes, doesn't make you any happier. It
[1:20:06] just makes your reasons why you're not
[1:20:08] way more convincing. You've got very
[1:20:10] convincing stories is why you should
[1:20:12] keep driving Uber.
[1:20:14] And I'm not asking you to be reckless or
[1:20:16] cavalier or irresponsible. I'm just
[1:20:17] asking you to wake up to the potential
[1:20:19] that you are. I don't know what your
[1:20:20] business is, but I can see a guy who
[1:20:21] shows up to an event like this. You're
[1:20:23] the first to pick up the mic. You're
[1:20:24] here being vulnerable. You're somebody
[1:20:26] who wants to make a [ __ ] impact.
[1:20:29] I [ __ ] do.
[1:20:30] >> Yeah. Right. So now again, what we want
[1:20:34] to tap into is the you that you think
[1:20:36] you will become when you have the
[1:20:39] successful business. Can you can you
[1:20:42] isolate that? Right. We we orient our
[1:20:44] ways in such a crazy way that we think
[1:20:46] that there's some future that's way more
[1:20:48] valuable with us or as a moment than
[1:20:50] where we are right now. And so we're
[1:20:52] like playing the waiting game. Oh, I'm
[1:20:54] not there but I'm getting there. No,
[1:20:55] you're not. You're just not.
[1:20:58] But who would you if I told you that
[1:21:00] your business works out like whatever it
[1:21:02] is in 6 12 months? So you're doubling
[1:21:04] tripling what you're making with Uber
[1:21:06] and then beyond that 10xing in two
[1:21:09] years. If that's the future that's
[1:21:10] waiting for you, how would you feel
[1:21:13] standing there right now with the mic?
[1:21:24] >> Just more relaxed.
[1:21:26] >> Yeah, relaxed as an energy is a
[1:21:30] receiving energy. Tension your one of
[1:21:33] your main conversations is about
[1:21:34] security, power, and money, right? Which
[1:21:36] is all illusory. there's no power in
[1:21:38] money, but really it's revealing where
[1:21:39] you don't understand the worth and the
[1:21:41] value of who you are. Relaxation is now
[1:21:44] you're open. I just presented you a
[1:21:46] future that is as real as the one you've
[1:21:48] been worried about. Does everyone follow
[1:21:50] that? But you're being informed by your
[1:21:53] own like this is the crazy part about
[1:21:55] the ego, right? You create the fear of a
[1:21:58] future that hasn't happened yet and then
[1:21:59] in the same moment you're trying to come
[1:22:01] up with solutions to it.
[1:22:04] Does everyone get how insane that is?
[1:22:06] You're worried about the future, trying
[1:22:08] to come up with ways to avoid it, not
[1:22:09] realizing you [ __ ] made it up.
[1:22:12] You wonder why people drink so much.
[1:22:14] [laughter]
[1:22:15] So, you've got an idea of a future like
[1:22:17] you're some sort of, you know, forget
[1:22:18] about walking on water. Stop trying to
[1:22:20] be a fortune teller with the worst case
[1:22:21] scenarios.
[1:22:24] Like, my future is [ __ ] phenomenal.
[1:22:28] Do you see that?
[1:22:29] >> Yeah, I do.
[1:22:30] >> Through declaration. I don't I'm just as
[1:22:32] clueless, but that's the one I'm living
[1:22:33] into. And by golly, it's amazing how
[1:22:36] often that happens. You will constantly
[1:22:38] through cognitive bias find evidence for
[1:22:41] the way that you think your life is
[1:22:42] going to unfold.
[1:22:44] And if you're oriented where you can't
[1:22:46] have impact, you're not powerful, then
[1:22:47] you're going to find evidence everywhere
[1:22:49] for it.
[1:22:51] So is it true as an absolute truth that
[1:22:53] you're not powerful?
[1:22:55] No.
[1:22:57] This is why when you understand you're
[1:23:00] so powerful you can make yourself dis
[1:23:03] power disempowered and powerless.
[1:23:09] It's way harder to play the game you're
[1:23:11] playing. That shows me how [ __ ]
[1:23:14] powerful you are that you can suppress
[1:23:16] your power.
[1:23:18] >> Does everyone get that?
[1:23:20] >> I'm really good at that. [laughter]
[1:23:22] >> Yeah. I invite you to stop being so good
[1:23:24] at it.
[1:23:26] So you ready to start to be truly kalin
[1:23:29] whose essence forget about name mom dad
[1:23:32] whatever you're one live from the
[1:23:34] quality of power which is one of your
[1:23:37] innate
[1:23:39] uh characteristics
[1:23:45] >> okay
[1:23:48] our work here is done [laughter]
[1:23:51] thank
[1:23:53] >> [applause]
[1:23:55] >> Okay. Who got something from that? Who
[1:23:57] can see yourself in that conversation?
[1:24:00] Yeah. So again, right, like if you look
[1:24:02] at the way in linear time that the mind
[1:24:04] works, typically he's trying to get away
[1:24:06] from something that he was oblivious to,
[1:24:07] which is don't make a mistake, don't
[1:24:09] upset mom, which is like as a catch all,
[1:24:12] don't upset anyone, don't do anything
[1:24:14] wrong. He's trying to get away from that
[1:24:16] at best proactively. He's smart, he's
[1:24:19] kind, he's caring, he's creative.
[1:24:22] Proactively, I'm going to try and work
[1:24:24] towards a better future. You know, like
[1:24:26] he'll have all sorts of conversations in
[1:24:27] his head about, well, if I reduce the
[1:24:29] amount of hours here, like if I do a
[1:24:31] black car, you know, you can imagine how
[1:24:32] he's trying to figure things out, right?
[1:24:35] What I'm inviting him to do is forget
[1:24:37] about linear progression. Live from the
[1:24:38] quality of who you are at the essence of
[1:24:41] your soul. If he lives from power, he's
[1:24:44] going to have different thoughts,
[1:24:45] different emotions, different behaviors
[1:24:47] versus the strategy of the ego trying to
[1:24:49] survive. Can you see the difference?
[1:24:51] That's two entirely different worlds.
[1:24:53] I'm not I don't care about whether he
[1:24:54] sticks with he can he could be Uber for
[1:24:56] the rest of his life and change the
[1:24:59] world because of the conversations he
[1:25:01] has in his car. Do you see? It's not in
[1:25:04] the events. It's not about outsourcing
[1:25:06] anymore. Andre didn't make him cry.
[1:25:08] Andre said something. He made himself
[1:25:09] cry. His mom didn't tell him that he
[1:25:11] couldn't be right. He was a little boy.
[1:25:13] He got scared. Of course, he was a
[1:25:15] dependent. I get it. But now, no [ __ ]
[1:25:17] [ __ ] [ __ ] up, you know, and be
[1:25:20] responsible, you know. Obviously, if you
[1:25:21] do things that hurt people, that's fine.
[1:25:23] But if you're a man, if you're anybody
[1:25:24] who wants to make a difference, you've
[1:25:26] got to disrupt.
[1:25:28] So, it might mean that for a while he
[1:25:30] keeps his Uber. That's fine. He can be
[1:25:31] responsible, keep some income. But the
[1:25:33] conversations in that Uber are going to
[1:25:34] be different. He will now be available.
[1:25:36] He's going to have someone get in the
[1:25:38] Uber that was never energetically able
[1:25:40] to get in that car. Do you understand
[1:25:42] that
[1:25:43] from that? Do you get that, Kaylin?
[1:25:46] >> From the energy of power, you will
[1:25:48] attract people and circumstances to
[1:25:50] reveal where you're not free. So, he
[1:25:52] would have constantly gotten evidence.
[1:25:53] He would have had conversations that
[1:25:54] would probably be with people who are
[1:25:56] equally struggling. And if somebody got
[1:25:58] in who was abundant or powerful or
[1:26:00] successful or famous, he might have gone
[1:26:02] into the like, oh, you know, and it
[1:26:04] would have been a cool conversation, but
[1:26:05] there's no resonance. It's him versus
[1:26:07] them. Right now, it's like, no, I'm
[1:26:10] [ __ ] powerful. I would expect like if
[1:26:11] Donald Trump or whoever, I don't give a
[1:26:13] [ __ ] got into his Uber because that's
[1:26:15] the kind of experience he wants to now
[1:26:17] have. That you can't calculate. That's
[1:26:21] because of an energy frequency. As you
[1:26:23] tune your radio into a different
[1:26:25] vibration, you're going to attract
[1:26:26] different music. That's how life works.
[1:26:29] You're waiting for he was waiting for
[1:26:31] life to be different to give him
[1:26:32] permission to step forward into a
[1:26:33] different frequency. Car before horse.
[1:26:35] Does everyone follow that? Now he
[1:26:37] generates he gen I make myself feel I'm
[1:26:40] powerful and if somebody doesn't want to
[1:26:43] do his business or invest fine I'll move
[1:26:44] on to the next person. Someone will it's
[1:26:46] your loss. You can you feel the
[1:26:48] difference in the resonance?
[1:26:51] Okay. How was that? Was that too much?
[1:26:53] [laughter]
[1:26:55] >> Claps for that. That was good.
[1:26:59] >> Thank you for your courage, my friend.
[1:27:01] That is the first step to you being
[1:27:02] powerful. Look at the difference you
[1:27:03] made tonight. Right. Take that as a
[1:27:05] living example and as a track record
[1:27:07] that you make a difference.
[1:27:10] Thank you for the share, man.
[1:27:12] >> I appreciate you.
[1:27:14] >> Yeah. Um, let's keep going, shall we?
[1:27:17] >> [ __ ] it. Let's go. Who's going
[1:27:19] [laughter] Let's pop some more. Um, who
[1:27:21] was I think it was who who was first
[1:27:24] last time.
[1:27:26] >> Okay, great. [laughter]
[1:27:28] >> Yes.
[1:27:29] >> Hey, Peter.
[1:27:30] >> Hi.
[1:27:30] >> What's up? Nice to see you again.
[1:27:32] >> Nice to see you. Remind me of your name.
[1:27:34] >> Lette.
[1:27:35] >> Lzette.
[1:27:36] >> Lisbette.
[1:27:37] >> Lisbette.
[1:27:38] >> Yes. [sighs and gasps]
[1:27:40] So today something came up for me uh in
[1:27:43] one of the workshops regarding just like
[1:27:46] the incest and pedophilia that has
[1:27:48] occurred within my family and my
[1:27:50] distrust for the masculine.
[1:27:51] >> Yeah.
[1:27:52] >> And it was just like really like I could
[1:27:56] feel it in my sacral chakra like the
[1:27:58] heat and the warmth and the fear.
[1:28:01] >> Did it happen to you directly or when
[1:28:02] you say in your family?
[1:28:04] >> No, it happened to me directly as well.
[1:28:06] >> Okay. And so I feel like in my family I
[1:28:10] grew up feeling like the disruptor. So I
[1:28:13] I grew up fearing to tell my truth
[1:28:15] because it wasn't believed or people
[1:28:18] would look at me and discredit me or
[1:28:20] invalidate what I would say. But as I've
[1:28:23] embarked on this healing journey, I feel
[1:28:25] more comfortable talking about it and
[1:28:27] like kind of embracing the feelings that
[1:28:29] come with it as I'm evolving.
[1:28:31] >> Yeah.
[1:28:32] But I I feel like there's something that
[1:28:35] I'm not exactly seeing when it comes
[1:28:37] down to like the work that I want to do
[1:28:39] and like sharing my truth and talking
[1:28:41] about the taboo of those types of
[1:28:43] situations.
[1:28:44] >> Yeah, I get it. And so where how's it
[1:28:46] First of all, I'm very sorry you went
[1:28:47] through that. No child should ever
[1:28:49] experience that.
[1:28:50] >> Um so thank you for your courage to
[1:28:52] share because I'm sure there's people in
[1:28:53] this room who can either relate to it
[1:28:55] directly or they certainly know a lot
[1:28:56] about it.
[1:28:57] >> Mhm. Um, so [clears throat]
[1:29:01] how does it manifest today, Elizabeth?
[1:29:03] Like how does it show up in your life?
[1:29:05] Apart from the work you're doing on it,
[1:29:06] which is great and I commend you for,
[1:29:08] how does it manifest in the way that
[1:29:10] things aren't necessarily how you want?
[1:29:13] >> I would say just whenever I speak my
[1:29:15] truth, it just I still feel like a
[1:29:17] disruption and it nothing really
[1:29:19] changes. Like it's just
[1:29:21] >> I can vocalize what I'm what I mean to
[1:29:23] say and I could probably say it really
[1:29:25] well,
[1:29:25] >> but nothing is changing on the on the
[1:29:28] outer realm.
[1:29:28] >> Okay, got it. Okay. Do you ever remember
[1:29:32] the kind of dreams you have?
[1:29:34] >> A lot of human trafficking.
[1:29:36] >> Pardon?
[1:29:37] >> A lot of human trafficking dreams.
[1:29:39] >> In your dreams.
[1:29:40] >> Mhm.
[1:29:41] >> Viscerally, what is your experience in
[1:29:43] the dreams?
[1:29:45] >> Like I'm a victim of human trafficking.
[1:29:47] >> Yeah. So, what I'm hearing in the way
[1:29:49] that she speaks, how many of you have
[1:29:51] seen the movie Divergent?
[1:29:54] Okay, it's a great movie. There's a
[1:29:55] scene that I'm coming to mind that
[1:29:57] really makes me tap into where she's at
[1:29:59] energetically, which is the lead actress
[1:30:02] is in a big cube of glass and it's
[1:30:05] filling with water. Does for those of
[1:30:07] you seen it. So, whatever she's trapped
[1:30:09] in glass, you get it if you haven't seen
[1:30:11] it. So, what I can hear for Lisbet is
[1:30:13] like, you know, that feeling. I don't
[1:30:16] know. I've had the dream myself when I
[1:30:17] was much younger where you just feel
[1:30:19] like trapped but you feel like weak.
[1:30:23] Does that feel that? Can can you relate
[1:30:24] to that? It's like you're trapped and
[1:30:27] it's like you feel like you can't it's
[1:30:28] sort of a continuation a little bit like
[1:30:30] which often happens in these
[1:30:31] conversations of what I was talking with
[1:30:33] Kayn about like is that feeling of like
[1:30:35] ah I can't do something about it. So
[1:30:38] she's already given me enough clues of
[1:30:39] like like she can't speak her truth or
[1:30:41] at least her truth isn't landing. So,
[1:30:43] what I hear, it's almost like that
[1:30:45] image, that quintessential Hollywood
[1:30:47] movie, like where the guy is outside or
[1:30:49] the girl is outside, it's cold and it's
[1:30:51] raining and he's looking through the
[1:30:52] restaurant window and everyone is inside
[1:30:54] loving their meals and having fun. Can
[1:30:56] you feel that? Can you feel that sense
[1:30:58] of isolation? So what I hear, especially
[1:31:01] given what she shared with me about the
[1:31:03] sexual abuse and the sex trafficking,
[1:31:04] the pedophilia,
[1:31:07] we don't have to go there too deeply,
[1:31:08] but in the experience that you had, what
[1:31:11] was your experience as a kid in those
[1:31:14] moments? If you were to try and put a
[1:31:16] word to how you felt whilst that was
[1:31:19] happening.
[1:31:21] >> Yeah. Trapped.
[1:31:23] >> Trapped.
[1:31:23] >> Trapped.
[1:31:24] >> I want you to consider the word that I
[1:31:26] feel for her is powerless.
[1:31:29] Can you feel that? Like literally, cuz
[1:31:32] for her as a young girl, as a child, as
[1:31:35] a dependent, as a weaker human relative
[1:31:38] to whoever was doing whatever they're
[1:31:39] doing, she's going to feel both trapped,
[1:31:41] but also like powerless. So now what I
[1:31:44] hear in the way that she speaks and
[1:31:46] she's describing that she's very
[1:31:48] consistent theme with what we've been
[1:31:50] talking about is she's her it's almost
[1:31:52] like she has a voice, but she doesn't
[1:31:54] have a voice. And again, you can tell me
[1:31:56] to what degree this resonates, right?
[1:31:58] Like meaning you're smart, you're
[1:31:59] articulate, you're doing the work, but
[1:32:01] what I hear is that it's almost like
[1:32:03] you're screaming into the void.
[1:32:05] >> Yeah.
[1:32:06] >> Yeah.
[1:32:07] >> Yes.
[1:32:08] >> What does that feel like as a woman?
[1:32:11] >> Exhausting.
[1:32:12] >> Yeah.
[1:32:14] So, what I want you to understand is how
[1:32:16] old are you, Elizabeth?
[1:32:17] >> 34.
[1:32:18] >> 34. And roughly just about what age did
[1:32:21] some of this stuff happen?
[1:32:23] >> Like four years old.
[1:32:24] >> Yeah. So here she is, 34 year old woman
[1:32:27] biologically in terms of the the the
[1:32:29] chronology of the organism, but the
[1:32:31] energy that is like driving it is still
[1:32:34] a trapped, scared, powerless
[1:32:35] four-year-old.
[1:32:38] And so what we got to do is we got to
[1:32:40] recognize, oh, she's still being to some
[1:32:42] degree through no fault of her own being
[1:32:44] defined by a nervous system that is
[1:32:46] living constantly and finding evidence
[1:32:48] for where she doesn't have any domain,
[1:32:50] no sovereignty. very again similar to
[1:32:52] this is like the female version of what
[1:32:54] we were just talking about that she
[1:32:55] doesn't feel that she has power. So if
[1:32:58] you're looking if that's the way that
[1:32:59] you're relating to life then life is a
[1:33:02] mirror. So it's not that they're not
[1:33:04] listening or they're not believing her
[1:33:06] truth. She set it up unconsciously that
[1:33:08] way. Did you track what I just said?
[1:33:11] Does that make sense?
[1:33:12] >> I'm listening.
[1:33:13] >> Okay, great. So I want her to realize
[1:33:17] that there's no absence of power. It's
[1:33:18] just her power is being filtered through
[1:33:21] the way that she p perceives life, which
[1:33:24] is that she does have no domain. Again,
[1:33:27] very similar. Like she has no impact.
[1:33:29] Her words don't land. People don't get
[1:33:31] it. They can't hear her. She's
[1:33:33] hopelessly trapped.
[1:33:35] Yes.
[1:33:37] >> Well, sort of. Like I feel like as like
[1:33:40] the past 2 years I've been more present
[1:33:43] with what occurred and now I feel people
[1:33:45] are coming out of like the woodworks.
[1:33:47] Like my younger sister speaking up for
[1:33:48] herself which I never thought was going
[1:33:49] to be a possibility.
[1:33:50] >> Yeah.
[1:33:51] >> And even my mom who basically always
[1:33:53] stood on the perpetrator's side actually
[1:33:56] took our side like around two weeks ago.
[1:33:58] So that was very like shifting for me
[1:34:00] cuz I was like wow my mom no she don't
[1:34:02] my mom but she was like a Judas where
[1:34:03] like she would like go and betray and
[1:34:05] like not be on our side.
[1:34:07] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:34:08] >> Which was really painful, but to see her
[1:34:10] actually be like, I'm on your side.
[1:34:12] Like, I'm not going to go to them. That
[1:34:14] was like a huge shift to see.
[1:34:17] >> Very similar to Caleum, right? Like the
[1:34:19] two years ago where he started to be
[1:34:20] invited by his mom to come forward. So,
[1:34:23] a very similar dynamic. I'm glad that
[1:34:24] she's coming around, but what I want to
[1:34:26] get Lette to eventually, it's it's
[1:34:28] irrelevant. She comes around or it
[1:34:31] doesn't. This is your journey, your
[1:34:32] karma. The way that you incarnated is
[1:34:34] you wanted to have this experience of
[1:34:35] feeling powerless. Not because you're
[1:34:38] waiting for somebody else to give you
[1:34:39] the permission or the endorsement that
[1:34:41] you're powerful, but for you to discover
[1:34:43] it for yourself.
[1:34:45] >> Your mom is like a kind of a little bit
[1:34:46] of a help. Like it it's nice, right?
[1:34:48] It's okay.
[1:34:49] >> Super boost.
[1:34:50] >> What?
[1:34:50] >> A super boost.
[1:34:52] >> Exactly. Yeah. You got like a little
[1:34:53] extra like cheerleading from the mom.
[1:34:55] It's like, okay, finally. Right. It
[1:34:57] gives you permission to start to tap
[1:34:58] into your divine feminine, which is
[1:35:01] power itself for sure, right? Different
[1:35:03] form of the masculine that I was talking
[1:35:05] with Kaylin about, but for you, that
[1:35:07] divine feminine. So really, what you're
[1:35:10] saying from the perspective of that
[1:35:11] young girl is that you're trapped,
[1:35:13] you're powerless, that you don't have
[1:35:16] any really that your words, cuz again,
[1:35:18] without getting into the graphics of it,
[1:35:20] I've heard so many ways that people have
[1:35:21] described what they went through.
[1:35:22] Sometimes they're literally mouth their
[1:35:25] mouth is covered with a hand, right?
[1:35:27] Like so even the visceral experience of
[1:35:29] you can't say anything or you're
[1:35:31] screaming or you're shouting and nobody
[1:35:32] hears. You're you're basically saying I
[1:35:35] don't have a voice.
[1:35:36] >> Well, can I share something?
[1:35:38] >> No, you can share whatever you want. So
[1:35:40] that's not necessarily true because
[1:35:42] there was one moment where my
[1:35:44] perpetrator took me into a dark room
[1:35:46] that that's when I was four years old
[1:35:47] and I don't know I don't remember
[1:35:49] because I was so young but there was a
[1:35:51] moment where he brought me into a dark
[1:35:52] room and was going to get me to do
[1:35:54] things but I I couldn't see it was
[1:35:56] completely dark and like something in me
[1:36:00] just told him to tell him that like
[1:36:02] Jesus was watching him and he told me to
[1:36:04] run away.
[1:36:05] >> Mhm. And so I didn't understand it then
[1:36:08] because I was four years old and I
[1:36:09] didn't know what I was was going to
[1:36:10] happen but like afterwards I was like oh
[1:36:12] wow like not to get too deep into it but
[1:36:15] I probably was going to do some oral act
[1:36:18] and I didn't get involved in it because
[1:36:21] I spoke up for myself and that was like
[1:36:23] the first moment of sovereignty that I
[1:36:25] ever experienced in my life.
[1:36:26] >> Beautiful. Yeah. Powerful. And that was
[1:36:28] where we get these like glimpse and
[1:36:30] trailers of coming attractions which is
[1:36:32] your soul to me incarnated in this
[1:36:34] particular lifetime cuz that's what
[1:36:36] you're here to remember about yourself.
[1:36:39] Right? That moment was a glimpse of what
[1:36:42] you're here to incarnate to discover
[1:36:44] which is the power of your voice.
[1:36:48] But in order to discover the power of
[1:36:50] your voice you have to experience the
[1:36:51] antithesis.
[1:36:53] One of the most beautiful parts about
[1:36:55] loving somebody is missing them. And
[1:36:57] from the perspective of consciousness
[1:36:59] that is everything we have to experience
[1:37:01] the antithesis.
[1:37:04] So you in that moment beautiful but for
[1:37:07] the majority of the other experiences no
[1:37:09] voice right. Even the way Yes.
[1:37:11] >> Yes.
[1:37:12] >> You describe that when you're talking
[1:37:13] your mom to begin with okay she's come
[1:37:15] around but she was the Judah she wasn't
[1:37:16] listening. Your voice isn't landing. I
[1:37:18] can imagine how frustrating that is.
[1:37:20] >> Yeah. Really painful.
[1:37:22] >> Really painful. So if we look at this
[1:37:24] more from a soul's mission versus a
[1:37:26] human victim of horrific and tragic
[1:37:29] things, but if we were to look at it
[1:37:31] from the aspect of who you really are as
[1:37:33] a soul incarnating for an omission and
[1:37:35] an experience,
[1:37:37] what could we say that you're here to
[1:37:38] learn?
[1:37:40] >> That my voice is powerful.
[1:37:43] >> I want you all to consider this is one
[1:37:45] of my favorite lines. All you have is a
[1:37:47] voice.
[1:37:49] >> Mhm.
[1:37:49] >> In the beginning was the word. All of
[1:37:52] you are nothing but walking
[1:37:53] conversations.
[1:37:55] >> Yeah.
[1:37:56] >> Like really the you that you think you
[1:37:57] are is a compilation of conclusions and
[1:37:59] beliefs that you've made over time which
[1:38:01] is founded in language. Even your name
[1:38:03] is made up. It's it's appropriate in
[1:38:05] time and space. If someone says, "Hi,
[1:38:07] Peter. Nice to see you." I respond, but
[1:38:08] I know it's not who I am. Right? It's a
[1:38:11] locator. But then you get into the
[1:38:13] nuances of like, "Oh, I'm powerless. I'm
[1:38:15] not worthy. I'm not good enough." Right?
[1:38:17] You're bound by these linguistic
[1:38:19] fortresses.
[1:38:20] So again, just as I said with Ka, he's
[1:38:23] so powerful that he can suppress his
[1:38:25] power, right? Everyone kind of got that,
[1:38:27] right? There was a general wow. Like you
[1:38:29] that's how powerful his capacity is that
[1:38:32] he can even suppress that which is
[1:38:33] innate.
[1:38:35] I want you to consider, Elizabeth, your
[1:38:37] voice is so powerful that you can use
[1:38:39] your voice to believe that you don't
[1:38:41] have power.
[1:38:44] The same thing, but you're saying that
[1:38:46] to yourself, right? So, you're you're
[1:38:48] giving the illusion that your voice
[1:38:50] doesn't carry any power,
[1:38:52] >> which is wild cuz I'm a comm major.
[1:38:54] [laughter]
[1:38:54] >> Cuz you're what?
[1:38:56] >> Which is wild cuz I'm a communications
[1:38:58] major.
[1:38:58] >> Of course. There's no [ __ ] surprise
[1:39:00] how these things show up, right?
[1:39:02] [laughter]
[1:39:03] >> Yeah.
[1:39:03] >> Yeah. So, you're being drawn into that,
[1:39:05] which is really both something you
[1:39:07] desperately crave, but also that is an
[1:39:09] inherent gift.
[1:39:11] >> Yeah.
[1:39:12] The illusion is that you're still
[1:39:14] waiting for your voice to be given
[1:39:16] validity.
[1:39:18] >> Mhm.
[1:39:20] >> Do you see that?
[1:39:21] >> Yeah.
[1:39:22] >> There's a great line in the matrix
[1:39:25] again, like I think this is the third
[1:39:26] one. Now, I promise you my whole
[1:39:28] philosophy isn't built off the matrix. I
[1:39:30] did I did [laughter] have some unique
[1:39:32] thoughts of my own,
[1:39:34] but when the uh the um Zion is under
[1:39:38] attack by the machines, right there, all
[1:39:40] the Sentinels are coming to blow it up
[1:39:41] or whatever, and all the ships, the the
[1:39:43] head of defense, who has this
[1:39:45] contentious relationship with Morpheus
[1:39:47] because they both dated the same woman
[1:39:49] or whatever, you know, Hollywood drama.
[1:39:51] So Morpheus leaves the Nebuchadnezzar,
[1:39:53] which is his ship, out there in the
[1:39:55] matrix because he wants to be able to
[1:39:56] communicate with the oracle to determine
[1:39:59] the fate of the one which is Neo. Does
[1:40:01] everyone kind of track even if you don't
[1:40:03] [ __ ] follow? [laughter]
[1:40:05] No. I mean, it's really simple. Okay.
[1:40:08] Basically, like the good guys, they've
[1:40:10] got a ship, a spaceship. It's out there
[1:40:11] in the Matrix, and he's supposed to
[1:40:13] bring the ship back to defend the
[1:40:15] homeland. That's like the simple
[1:40:16] version. The head of defense says, "Damn
[1:40:19] it, Morpheus. I gave the instruction to
[1:40:22] all captains to bring your ships back to
[1:40:24] defend Zion.
[1:40:26] And he said, "No, I left the ship out
[1:40:27] there cuz I have to be able to
[1:40:29] communicate with the oracle to determine
[1:40:31] the fate." And the head of defense says,
[1:40:34] "Damn it, Morpheus. Not everyone
[1:40:36] believes what you believe, right? That
[1:40:38] he believes in this destiny and the
[1:40:40] one." And his line, he said, "My beliefs
[1:40:42] do not require them to."
[1:40:45] >> Oh, yeah. Word.
[1:40:47] >> Not everyone believes what you believe.
[1:40:49] My beliefs do not require them to.
[1:40:52] >> Yeah.
[1:40:52] >> Isn't that powerful?
[1:40:53] >> Yeah. Yeah.
[1:40:54] >> Lisbet, that's where you're headed.
[1:40:56] >> That's what's up.
[1:40:58] >> Do you get that?
[1:40:59] >> Yeah.
[1:41:00] >> What did you just get from what I just
[1:41:01] shared?
[1:41:02] >> That I need to validate my own truth in
[1:41:04] my own voice.
[1:41:05] >> Don't even need to. You do. By
[1:41:07] declaration alone.
[1:41:08] >> Yes.
[1:41:08] >> Whether anybody gets it or not.
[1:41:11] >> Yes.
[1:41:12] >> Do you see that? That gives me chills.
[1:41:14] Which tells me that I'm in resonance
[1:41:15] with your experience. Right. So right
[1:41:17] now, what you're here to realize is that
[1:41:19] your voice matters for you. Those who
[1:41:22] are ready to hear it will hear it. Those
[1:41:24] who don't don't. You've been waiting for
[1:41:27] permission to have your voice.
[1:41:32] >> Thank you.
[1:41:32] >> What becomes available for you now with
[1:41:34] your voice?
[1:41:38] >> I can share it. I can share it freely.
[1:41:41] >> How does that hit your body as a woman?
[1:41:45] Well, I feel more free and I feel
[1:41:47] lighter.
[1:41:48] >> Yeah.
[1:41:49] >> Not shaking as much.
[1:41:50] >> Yeah. Can you hear? Can you feel the the
[1:41:53] enormous amount of power that now you
[1:41:56] are charged with with the responsibility
[1:41:59] of having the way that you speak change
[1:42:02] of things that happen around you?
[1:42:04] >> Hell [ __ ] yeah.
[1:42:05] >> Right.
[1:42:06] >> Can you see this is the juxiposition?
[1:42:08] She had to have the experience of her
[1:42:10] voice landed nowhere, which is a
[1:42:12] horrible feeling, totally appropriate to
[1:42:15] a child who's being taken advantage of
[1:42:17] in a tragic, horrible way. She had to
[1:42:20] have that experience so she could be
[1:42:22] reminded that there's nothing this woman
[1:42:24] can't handle and she doesn't need
[1:42:27] consensus.
[1:42:30] Do you feel that?
[1:42:31] >> Yes. I would have dropped the mic, but
[1:42:34] [laughter]
[1:42:34] >> Well, you do have it. for you.
[1:42:37] >> Yeah, that's a new world for Lisbette,
[1:42:40] isn't it?
[1:42:41] >> That's what's up. Thank you.
[1:42:42] >> You're so welcome.
[1:42:46] [applause]
[1:42:47] >> That's how powerful you all are. That
[1:42:49] you use your words to fundamentally
[1:42:51] build the cage from which you then tried
[1:42:53] to escape, not realizing that you made
[1:42:55] it up in the first place.
[1:42:59] >> That's some good stuff. That's some good
[1:43:01] stuff. Peter picking up what I'm putting
[1:43:03] down. [laughter]
[1:43:07] Thank you. Those are both very
[1:43:08] vulnerable sharers and I can imagine not
[1:43:11] easy in a group like this especially.
[1:43:13] >> So thank you for the courage to share.
[1:43:15] >> No, particularly in those particular
[1:43:17] subject matters and I really and again
[1:43:19] like there's no surprise to me without
[1:43:21] making generalizations that typically
[1:43:23] sadly majority of women who go through
[1:43:25] experiences like that is is because
[1:43:27] you're here to recognize that there's
[1:43:29] nothing you can't handle.
[1:43:32] doesn't mean you want to, but it shows
[1:43:35] you that you can.
[1:43:37] That's how powerful that woman is now
[1:43:39] that she recognizes her whole story
[1:43:41] about all the things she's been working
[1:43:42] on and the shame and d it's irrelevant
[1:43:45] now. Can you see that? Can you see like
[1:43:47] it doesn't in any way condone what she
[1:43:48] went through and it doesn't mean that it
[1:43:50] was easy, but relative to what she's
[1:43:51] discovered about who she is, there's
[1:43:53] nothing this woman can't handle.
[1:43:56] So, it just becomes almost anecdotal.
[1:43:58] It's a memory, but it's no longer
[1:44:00] something she has to work on.
[1:44:03] Do you see the difference?
[1:44:05] It's super cool
[1:44:08] that there's that difference there. Um
[1:44:10] because like you're helping reveal the
[1:44:12] events that we not only were significant
[1:44:15] in our life, but that we continue to
[1:44:17] carry significance around.
[1:44:18] >> Yeah. And how do you walk that balance
[1:44:21] before we do maybe one last one of
[1:44:24] honoring
[1:44:26] the trauma that lives in the body, the
[1:44:27] experience that is very real for for a
[1:44:29] person and the narrative that continues
[1:44:30] to perpetuate that in their experience.
[1:44:33] >> Beautiful question. So we want to make
[1:44:34] sure that we make space for both, right?
[1:44:37] 1.0 is still very much what runs the
[1:44:39] world and it is part of the human
[1:44:40] experience. So when I started, one of
[1:44:42] the first things I said is I see her, I
[1:44:44] feel her, I'm very sorry no child should
[1:44:46] go through that, right? I want to
[1:44:48] acknowledge her reality even though
[1:44:50] underneath it I know it's precisely what
[1:44:52] she signed up for unconsciously. No
[1:44:54] one's going to like volunteer
[1:44:56] consciously to go through these horrific
[1:44:58] experiences. So we want to be able to
[1:45:01] make space for honor, respect, revere
[1:45:04] and have compassion for the human
[1:45:06] experience.
[1:45:08] But underneath it when we realize that
[1:45:10] what we feel is happening to us, she
[1:45:13] used the word victim, right? that is
[1:45:15] appropriate from the perspective of the
[1:45:17] human. It's completely irrelevant from
[1:45:20] the point of view of the soul, which is
[1:45:22] what I'm appealing to. So, can you see
[1:45:24] it's both? So, whatever you've gone
[1:45:26] through, and we've all been through
[1:45:28] horrific things, tragic, completely
[1:45:30] [ __ ] you know, [ __ ] that we shouldn't
[1:45:31] condone, but nonetheless, that which
[1:45:33] happens to you as a human is what's
[1:45:37] happening for you as a soul.
[1:45:40] And if you can change that around, boy,
[1:45:42] does it completely alter your
[1:45:45] relationship to trauma.
[1:45:48] We make space for the tragedy. We make
[1:45:51] space for the devastation, the
[1:45:53] heartache, the hurt, the sadness is all
[1:45:55] appropriate for the human. And this is
[1:45:58] why I talk about maternal and paternal
[1:46:00] love, right? Maternal really is the the
[1:46:02] owie. The kid falls over. We want to
[1:46:04] meet them in their reality. We're like,
[1:46:06] "Dude, forget it. you [ __ ] ran around
[1:46:07] the corner too [ __ ] you know, that's
[1:46:09] not going to help that kid right now.
[1:46:12] The kid wants to be picked up. It wants
[1:46:13] to be held. It wants to be safe. It
[1:46:15] wants to be recognized in its hurt. So,
[1:46:18] I do it a lot quicker if I was this was
[1:46:21] one-on-one. We might have stayed there
[1:46:22] longer. I wanted her to feel that. I
[1:46:23] wanted but she knows that this is a safe
[1:46:25] space. I could feel the confidence.
[1:46:27] She's the second one to the mic. I'm
[1:46:29] making a lot of assumptions that I can
[1:46:31] go there a little quicker which is more
[1:46:32] the paternal which is now that we want
[1:46:34] to get into the understanding of the
[1:46:36] mechanics that led to the human
[1:46:38] experience maternal unconditional
[1:46:40] holding
[1:46:42] paternal more like tough love like let's
[1:46:44] get this [ __ ] together you're awesome so
[1:46:47] we make space for both that make sense
[1:46:50] often times in these communities what I
[1:46:52] see is there's a lot of bypassing which
[1:46:54] is people who have great insights I know
[1:46:56] a lot of people it's very slippery
[1:46:58] they've listened my work. They've done a
[1:46:59] lot of work. They've listened to other
[1:47:00] people. They say all the right things,
[1:47:02] but they're negating the human
[1:47:05] experience.
[1:47:06] So, it's really important to validate
[1:47:08] that. We want to we want to really let
[1:47:11] somebody know, I get it. That's awful.
[1:47:12] You women do this way better than men,
[1:47:14] right? Like your girlfriend's going
[1:47:15] through something. Honey, come here. I'm
[1:47:17] so sorry. Like, you're not trying to fix
[1:47:19] anything. You just want to be with your
[1:47:20] friend, right? This is something that I
[1:47:22] help men with is to like, particularly
[1:47:24] in their relationships, just learn to
[1:47:26] listen. Listen is an extension of love.
[1:47:29] Then when it's appropriate, when someone
[1:47:30] feels safe, when somebody feels like to
[1:47:32] your point earlier about vulnerability,
[1:47:34] when someone is like held, now you can
[1:47:36] get into maybe the mechanics of why did
[1:47:38] that transpire, which then helps them
[1:47:41] evolve, right? She's still going to have
[1:47:43] moments. She still might have even some
[1:47:45] why I asked about her sleep is when you
[1:47:47] go through those experiences, I wanted
[1:47:48] to wonder to what degree she was having
[1:47:50] the feeling of powerlessness in her
[1:47:52] dreams, right? Because that's sometimes
[1:47:54] where it's trying to play out. But then
[1:47:56] now she that that's all going to change
[1:47:58] her orientation to her own physiology,
[1:48:00] the way that her mind thinks, the
[1:48:02] feeling she has, the things that she
[1:48:03] thinks is going to be possible. She's
[1:48:05] literally jump what I call a timeline.
[1:48:07] She's in a different frequency. So now
[1:48:09] if I spoke to Elizabeth again in a week
[1:48:11] or like I could even be more firm like,
[1:48:13] you know, because she's going to be even
[1:48:15] stronger now. She can hear it. She knows
[1:48:16] that I've got her voice. I I I it landed
[1:48:19] for me. She's got evidence that I'm
[1:48:20] paying attention which is going to
[1:48:22] reinforce her own sense of power. So we
[1:48:25] want to make space for both and it's a
[1:48:26] nuance it's a skill to be able to
[1:48:28] discern you know to what degree do we
[1:48:30] have to stay in the human domain for a
[1:48:32] minute because that person's really
[1:48:33] caught up in the drama you know for some
[1:48:35] people it's never if it's fresh if it
[1:48:37] was a week ago you know like then it's
[1:48:39] it's time is warranted to stay there for
[1:48:41] a minute let them know it's okay I get
[1:48:43] it it's horrible you know and if
[1:48:45] somebody like sometimes I'll jump
[1:48:46] straight down the throat of somebody I'm
[1:48:48] like you're full of [ __ ] like I can
[1:48:49] remember honestly a woman came to see me
[1:48:51] one of my first clients in London who
[1:48:52] was uh divorced to a very very very
[1:48:56] successful rock star in London. Very
[1:48:58] wellto-do. She had all the resources,
[1:49:00] elegantly dressed, beautiful, manicured,
[1:49:02] all the things. We met at a beautiful
[1:49:04] golf club. She walks in. She spoke to me
[1:49:06] for an hour and 15 minutes non-stop,
[1:49:09] right? I just listen. I'm there.
[1:49:12] Probably the first audience, like real
[1:49:14] audience that cares enough that she
[1:49:16] could just tell me everything.
[1:49:19] My first words to her, that was so
[1:49:22] boring.
[1:49:23] >> [laughter]
[1:49:26] >> took some [ __ ] balls, right?
[1:49:30] She got up. She started to walk out. I
[1:49:34] said, "Are you not at least curious why
[1:49:36] I would say that?"
[1:49:38] She got down and sat down again. I said,
[1:49:40] "Because what I see is an extraordinary
[1:49:42] woman who's trying to get me to buy into
[1:49:44] a [ __ ] story.
[1:49:48] You don't understand how extraordinary
[1:49:50] you are. and I'm not going to be one of
[1:49:53] the people who buys into your woe is me.
[1:49:57] Right? So that's was an example of like
[1:49:59] she was mature enough. It was an old
[1:50:01] story. It's like it's just boring
[1:50:04] relative to who I see sitting in front
[1:50:06] of me. So that was a unique experience
[1:50:08] where there was just really no holding.
[1:50:11] But typically you need to spend time
[1:50:12] with the human first.
[1:50:18] >> How do we feel about one more?
[1:50:20] >> Let's do it. Let's go.
[1:50:24] >> Hi.
[1:50:24] >> Hi.
[1:50:25] >> Uh, my name is Darby.
[1:50:26] >> Darby?
[1:50:27] >> Yes.
[1:50:27] >> Darby, nice to meet you. Where you from?
[1:50:29] >> Nice to meet you. Um, California,
[1:50:30] Northern Lake Tahoe area.
[1:50:32] >> Oh, beautiful. I used to live there in
[1:50:34] Glenrook.
[1:50:34] >> Oh, beautiful. Very nice. Very nice.
[1:50:38] >> What can we help you with?
[1:50:39] >> I'm trying to find the entry point here.
[1:50:41] >> Okay. [laughter] Um, I'm definitely the
[1:50:44] story actually you just told about the
[1:50:46] woman who came to see you. I'm I'm bored
[1:50:48] of my own story to a large degree as
[1:50:50] well.
[1:50:50] >> Great. Well, then don't be upset if I'm
[1:50:53] direct with you.
[1:50:54] >> Perfect. [laughter] Yeah. I also cry a
[1:50:56] lot, so that's okay, too.
[1:50:57] >> That's okay.
[1:50:59] >> Yeah. So, you know, I feel like I've
[1:51:01] been working on myself for all these
[1:51:03] years, you know, whatever. And there's
[1:51:04] improvements and it's kind of the 2.0
[1:51:06] model. I want the 2.0 model. I'm tired
[1:51:08] of these incremental things.
[1:51:09] >> Yeah.
[1:51:10] >> And, you know, I just feel
[1:51:14] still so alone always.
[1:51:16] >> Yeah. you know, and I just want to know
[1:51:18] how to get Sorry.
[1:51:20] >> It's okay. Don't resist it.
[1:51:23] >> Yeah,
[1:51:24] >> it's you trying to get it right.
[1:51:26] >> Okay.
[1:51:28] I guess the one piece of the story just
[1:51:30] to make a reference is just, you know, I
[1:51:32] felt up I grew up feeling very alone
[1:51:35] >> and isolated. I had no one to talk to. I
[1:51:38] was shamed for any feelings that I had.
[1:51:41] >> I wasn't allowed to express them.
[1:51:42] >> No, I get that. That's why I'm asking
[1:51:43] you not to resist. [laughter] I can see
[1:51:45] it. It's okay. This is one of the most
[1:51:48] beautiful things you can do for us.
[1:51:50] >> Okay. Thank you.
[1:51:51] >> Okay. This might be the first time, and
[1:51:53] I'm not saying it is literally the first
[1:51:54] time, but you're actually being invited
[1:51:56] to truly feel.
[1:51:59] >> You just explained to me why that's an
[1:52:01] anomaly for you. [laughter]
[1:52:04] >> Yes.
[1:52:06] >> You're welcome here. You're you're
[1:52:07] you're loved here.
[1:52:09] >> Thank you. I do feel that.
[1:52:11] >> Yeah.
[1:52:12] >> Even though I'm having a hard time
[1:52:13] speaking. Yeah, it's beautiful. We get
[1:52:16] to be with you. This is a gift that
[1:52:18] you're giving us.
[1:52:19] >> Okay. Thank you.
[1:52:21] >> Okay. [laughter]
[1:52:22] >> I get really mad at myself because, you
[1:52:25] know, I've lost all of my family members
[1:52:28] as well, pretty young, and I felt like I
[1:52:30] never
[1:52:30] >> lost in terms of they've passed.
[1:52:31] >> They're all dead. Yeah.
[1:52:32] >> Okay. Okay.
[1:52:33] >> My brother and both my parents.
[1:52:35] [clears throat and cough]
[1:52:36] >> Okay.
[1:52:36] >> And you know, I just feel like I never
[1:52:38] got to work out any of those things with
[1:52:40] them while they were here.
[1:52:42] to do it on my own and it's just hard
[1:52:45] cuz I didn't have much support and then
[1:52:48] you know they left and I just feel like
[1:52:51] I've always had to do everything by
[1:52:53] myself and you know people give me as a
[1:52:55] compliment that I'm very strong and I
[1:52:57] appreciate that but it's also very
[1:52:59] lonely to feel strong
[1:53:01] >> and feel like you have to do everything
[1:53:03] for yourself by yourself.
[1:53:05] >> Yeah, I can relate. I get it. It's
[1:53:08] exhausting. It is exhausting [gasps] and
[1:53:11] I just, you know, but I also get mad at
[1:53:13] myself because I'm also tired of the
[1:53:14] story of woe is me that these things
[1:53:16] happen to me. Things happen to people
[1:53:18] all the time and I know it's my
[1:53:19] responsibility to make my life better.
[1:53:23] >> And I feel like I I don't know how I
[1:53:25] don't know why I get so stuck though.
[1:53:26] And I can only incrementally slowly
[1:53:29] slowly get better. But
[1:53:31] >> I want a bigger life. I want more for
[1:53:33] myself and I want to be included. I
[1:53:35] would love to be in a relationship. It's
[1:53:37] been decades since I've had someone who
[1:53:40] I'd even call my boyfriend.
[1:53:41] >> Yeah.
[1:53:42] >> And I don't even know how to It's I It's
[1:53:46] like It feels like that weird spiritual
[1:53:47] law. Something that you want so much you
[1:53:49] can't have cuz you're too desperate for
[1:53:50] it.
[1:53:51] >> Yeah. I get it.
[1:53:52] >> And [snorts and clears throat] it just
[1:53:52] makes it feel more out of reach.
[1:53:54] >> When was the last time you listened to a
[1:53:56] friend who [snorts] was maybe in a
[1:53:58] similar state that you're displaying for
[1:54:00] us beautifully now?
[1:54:02] >> When was the last time? Do you remember?
[1:54:03] like a girlfriend, a boyfriend, like not
[1:54:06] romantic but just a friend who was
[1:54:07] struggling with something. Is there
[1:54:09] something in the last month somebody
[1:54:11] called you? I would imagine you'd be a
[1:54:13] beautiful friend. Is there anybody that
[1:54:16] you can remember or a moment where
[1:54:18] somebody called you cuz they were
[1:54:19] struggling with something?
[1:54:21] >> Yes, I do feel Yes.
[1:54:23] >> Okay. Who was it and when?
[1:54:26] >> Um
[1:54:28] uh a f it was a a couple actually a
[1:54:31] friend of mine friends of mine. a
[1:54:32] couple. I'm a friends with each of them
[1:54:34] individually and they're a couple.
[1:54:35] >> Okay.
[1:54:35] >> And I was camping with them actually and
[1:54:38] they had all these relationship
[1:54:40] [clears throat] problems come up and
[1:54:41] they actually asked me to help
[1:54:42] [laughter] help them get through it.
[1:54:44] >> Beautiful. So give me one example of
[1:54:46] what was shared oneonone all together.
[1:54:49] >> Like what what state were they in? What
[1:54:51] were they saying? Roughly just the cliff
[1:54:53] notes.
[1:54:54] >> Yeah. Um
[1:54:58] >> they're struggling in their
[1:54:59] relationship.
[1:54:59] >> Yes, they're struggling in their
[1:55:00] relationship. They're scared of
[1:55:01] breakups. The wife is what, you know,
[1:55:03] whatever. Right.
[1:55:04] >> She felt that he was being disrespectful
[1:55:07] of her feelings and emotions.
[1:55:09] >> Okay. And then how did he feel?
[1:55:11] >> And he felt that um he felt ambushed,
[1:55:14] that um what he was saying was being
[1:55:17] totally taken out of context and wasn't
[1:55:19] his intention.
[1:55:20] >> Got it. And if you were to describe the
[1:55:21] energy that you held for both of them,
[1:55:23] either individually or as a couple, how
[1:55:25] would you describe who you were being?
[1:55:29] I felt that I was able to relate to both
[1:55:32] of them and feel empathetic and see
[1:55:35] their perspectives and helped kind of
[1:55:37] translate them to each other a little
[1:55:39] bit.
[1:55:39] >> Great. So we could say empathy that you
[1:55:42] were being kind, you were being caring,
[1:55:43] you were being loving.
[1:55:45] >> Yes.
[1:55:45] >> Great. And then how did you describe how
[1:55:47] you relate to yourself when you got your
[1:55:50] story?
[1:55:52] >> Mad, upset with myself. Frustrated with
[1:55:55] myself,
[1:55:56] >> right? And you wonder why you're not in
[1:55:58] a relationship.
[1:56:02] You're not making space for you. So, who
[1:56:04] else could,
[1:56:08] right? You understand the dynamic. When
[1:56:10] somebody's hurt and struggling, you show
[1:56:13] up with empathy, kindness, love, care.
[1:56:15] You want to help, right? You hold space.
[1:56:17] But when you why I said right at the
[1:56:19] beginning because I could already tell
[1:56:21] the fact that you were so quick to go
[1:56:22] there that you're not accustomed to
[1:56:24] giving your space your own space to
[1:56:26] feel.
[1:56:28] >> There's no room for Derby to be human.
[1:56:31] >> Do you see that?
[1:56:32] >> Yeah.
[1:56:32] >> Now I get it because you've had the
[1:56:34] conditioning where there was the absence
[1:56:36] of people to allow that little girl to
[1:56:38] feel. So you kind of had to figure it
[1:56:40] out by yourself which is this story of
[1:56:42] isolation which is really an extension
[1:56:44] of the 1.0 survival mechanism. Right. I
[1:56:47] said as long as you think you're a
[1:56:48] separate self, you have no choice but to
[1:56:50] survive. You're just in survival, which
[1:56:52] I get you're you're exhausted.
[1:56:55] But what does somebody who is
[1:56:57] desperately asking to be heard, seen,
[1:57:00] loved, what do they need more than
[1:57:01] anything?
[1:57:05] Like they're they've got feelings.
[1:57:06] They're human. They're a young girl.
[1:57:09] Like what are they craving?
[1:57:12] >> Support, love, openness.
[1:57:14] >> Yeah.
[1:57:15] >> Acceptance,
[1:57:16] >> right? And what are you bringing
[1:57:19] >> to myself or to other people?
[1:57:21] >> No. To to to that part of you.
[1:57:26] >> Yeah. Um
[1:57:30] >> sometimes I have those things, but other
[1:57:32] times I'm frustrated and and um
[1:57:34] >> yeah, you said it mad. Like if we were
[1:57:36] to put it under the one like one way
[1:57:39] you're relating yourself, it's judgment.
[1:57:41] >> You started your whole conversation and
[1:57:43] you're just tired cuz you've been
[1:57:44] working on yourself. [laughter] When I
[1:57:46] ask everybody who here wants to develop
[1:57:47] more self- loveve as a joke, as a trick,
[1:57:49] what I was showing is that means that
[1:57:51] there's a part of you that doesn't feel
[1:57:52] lovable, which of course is human. It's
[1:57:54] okay, but I want you to get it.
[1:57:55] >> Yes.
[1:57:56] >> So, who works on themselves?
[1:57:58] >> Yeah. People who feel broken. [snorts]
[1:58:00] >> Okay. Now, make it personalized.
[1:58:03] >> Yeah.
[1:58:04] >> Why are you working on yourself?
[1:58:08] >> Cuz I want to be acceptable.
[1:58:10] >> But Right. So, that's the outcome that
[1:58:13] you're trying to garner. means that
[1:58:15] underneath it, what does that make you
[1:58:16] now?
[1:58:18] >> Unacceptable, broken,
[1:58:20] >> haven't been in a relationship for
[1:58:22] decades, no idea why,
[1:58:25] right? So, what if the relationship that
[1:58:28] you're here to actually develop and work
[1:58:30] on is that which I know it sounds so
[1:58:32] cliche, but really is the one with
[1:58:34] yourself in the absence of other people
[1:58:36] to provide it for you. We saw with
[1:58:39] Lisbet and with Kalin that they they
[1:58:41] were both dependent on outsourcing the
[1:58:43] permission for them to show up. You
[1:58:46] don't have that. You've taken a slightly
[1:58:47] higher karma incarnation which is it's
[1:58:50] up to you.
[1:58:53] Slightly different, right? You don't
[1:58:55] like I'm the same like my whole life was
[1:58:57] completely defined by everything's up to
[1:58:59] me. I my parents died. I'm an only
[1:59:01] child. I got no one, right? So I became
[1:59:04] fiercely independent.
[1:59:06] And then it got to the point where I
[1:59:08] realized this is all a joke. Like how
[1:59:10] can it be up to me? I'm consciousness
[1:59:11] itself. I am part of everything. The
[1:59:14] isolated part of me that thinks that
[1:59:16] it's all up to me is really just that
[1:59:18] it's an isolated idea.
[1:59:21] So your opportunity as consciousness
[1:59:23] 2.0, you said that you so want to be
[1:59:25] 2.0. Great. The opportunity is to have
[1:59:28] 1.0 to hold space for.
[1:59:32] You can't get to be 2.0, you know, which
[1:59:34] is the space of love, of power that
[1:59:36] we've just seen, of complete and utter
[1:59:38] innate abundance without the the
[1:59:42] catalyst for it.
[1:59:45] So, you were like, "Fuck it. I don't
[1:59:47] want people to help me to discover the
[1:59:49] capacity I have to love. I want to
[1:59:51] figure it out by myself." So, I'm going
[1:59:54] to be left as a little girl who thinks
[1:59:56] that she doesn't have anybody to take
[1:59:58] care of so that I can show up for her.
[2:00:04] If I told you that you were going to
[2:00:06] have the most incredible relationship in
[2:00:08] a month with this most loving guy, a guy
[2:00:10] that just paid you so much attention
[2:00:12] that just listened to you in a way that
[2:00:14] adored you for flaws and all that
[2:00:16] regardless of your lutil phase and
[2:00:18] whatever you go through and [laughter]
[2:00:20] you know all the [ __ ] right? Like that
[2:00:22] he just adors you. I [ __ ] pay
[2:00:24] attention.
[2:00:25] >> Yeah, he knows about the ludal phase.
[2:00:27] [laughter]
[2:00:29] >> I [snorts] go through all of them.
[2:00:32] What would that feel like if that's
[2:00:33] coming your way in like a month or two?
[2:00:38] >> Be honest.
[2:00:40] [laughter]
[2:00:41] >> It's a combination of
[2:00:42] >> I know. And that's why I said be honest
[2:00:44] cuz I know what's in there.
[2:00:46] >> Yeah.
[2:00:47] There's relief and pressure at the same
[2:00:50] time.
[2:00:50] >> Correct. Now, that part I wanted her to
[2:00:52] pay attention to is the pressure which
[2:00:53] is really pointing to what? What's the
[2:00:55] pressure?
[2:01:00] What's the pressure coming from?
[2:01:03] Prince Charming's on the way. Where's
[2:01:05] the pressure coming from?
[2:01:06] >> To be worthy of it.
[2:01:08] >> Do you see it?
[2:01:10] It's right there. It defines her. That's
[2:01:13] why she can't be in a relationship.
[2:01:14] She's not ready.
[2:01:17] Says who?
[2:01:18] [snorts]
[2:01:19] >> Says me. I know. I know this. I know all
[2:01:22] this. It doesn't I can't stop.
[2:01:23] >> You don't know it to [laughter] the
[2:01:24] degree that I'm wanting you to discover
[2:01:26] with me. with a man who's willing to
[2:01:28] hold space with you, who loves you, even
[2:01:31] the part of you that doesn't love
[2:01:32] itself, which is your gift to yourself.
[2:01:36] I can love you all day, but it's going
[2:01:38] to be insufficient eventually.
[2:01:42] That young girl is asking you to show up
[2:01:44] and love her.
[2:01:46] You love you with all your flaws.
[2:01:48] There's nothing for you to work on other
[2:01:50] than your own illusion that there's a
[2:01:52] part of you to work on.
[2:01:54] Where where is that part?
[2:01:58] What what part is what part of the I
[2:01:59] need
[2:02:00] >> what what part of you said you've been
[2:02:01] working on yourself. Well, like what are
[2:02:02] you working on?
[2:02:03] >> I'm working on ex accepting the shadow.
[2:02:07] I'm working on I know
[2:02:08] >> you apparently suck at that
[2:02:10] >> apparently. So, [laughter]
[2:02:13] like
[2:02:13] >> where where's the shadow? I mean, it's
[2:02:15] pretty dark right now, but where's the
[2:02:16] shadow?
[2:02:21] >> What's the What's so horrible about
[2:02:23] dark? [laughter]
[2:02:28] In this moment, I don't even know.
[2:02:30] >> Oh, okay. Good. We made great progress.
[2:02:32] [laughter]
[2:02:34] >> There's nothing terribly horrible about
[2:02:36] me.
[2:02:36] >> Really? I'm shocked. [laughter]
[2:02:42] >> Yeah. What about if there's literally
[2:02:44] nothing that's terrible about you?
[2:02:46] >> Yeah.
[2:02:46] >> What if the most beautiful thing about
[2:02:49] you is that you sometimes think that
[2:02:51] there's something terrible about you?
[2:02:57] Does everyone get what I just said,
[2:03:00] Darby? What if the most beautiful thing
[2:03:02] about you is that sometimes you think
[2:03:04] there's something terrible about you?
[2:03:09] What would that make available for you
[2:03:11] right now?
[2:03:15] What if that's your greatest asset?
[2:03:17] >> How is it? How can it be?
[2:03:20] [laughter and snorts]
[2:03:21] That's why it's a question. what would
[2:03:23] become available for this is so jarring
[2:03:26] for her orientation. You see, that's why
[2:03:29] I said if Prince Charming shows up, I
[2:03:30] knew and I'm glad that she was honest
[2:03:32] [laughter] that it would be both
[2:03:34] relieving like that's what she
[2:03:35] desperately craves, right? She
[2:03:37] desperately craves, please somebody love
[2:03:39] me. But because she doesn't.
[2:03:44] And so I'm glad that she recognized the
[2:03:46] pressure because if someone amazing
[2:03:47] showed up, she would feel completely
[2:03:50] inadequate.
[2:03:52] Not because she is, but that is a
[2:03:54] self-fulfilling prophecy that that guy
[2:03:56] could adore her. Like I said, I could
[2:03:58] love her for for the next few months,
[2:04:00] but eventually she would somehow have to
[2:04:02] sabotage that because that's how you're
[2:04:06] so so committed. It's the ultimate
[2:04:08] addiction. You can violate sometimes you
[2:04:11] can sorry, you can alter your behaviors
[2:04:13] sometimes, right? Beginning of the year,
[2:04:15] you've like been a lazy [ __ ] and
[2:04:17] you're like, "But no, this is my year.
[2:04:18] I'm going to get in shape." which you
[2:04:20] never do cuz it's all [ __ ] But you
[2:04:22] can overcome your habits for a minute,
[2:04:24] right? But you can never violate your
[2:04:26] identity. So she'll be nice for a
[2:04:29] minute. She'll be the perfect girlfriend
[2:04:30] decades, you know? I mean, it's a little
[2:04:32] exaggeration, but whenever her last
[2:04:34] boyfriend was
[2:04:36] like, she would have been the perfect
[2:04:37] girlfriend as a compensation for, god
[2:04:39] forbid, he actually finds out that I've
[2:04:41] got shadows, cuz that would have been a
[2:04:43] shock to another human being, right?
[2:04:45] Like really? I thought you were [ __ ]
[2:04:46] perfect.
[2:04:47] >> [laughter]
[2:04:48] >> So this [snorts] is your opportunity.
[2:04:50] Your gift is to integrate the idea that
[2:04:52] you think there's something wrong with
[2:04:53] you.
[2:04:55] >> Yeah. I felt I no longer identify with
[2:04:57] not loving myself. Like I do love
[2:04:59] myself. I do still think there's issues
[2:05:02] and I have anger. Anger is something
[2:05:04] probably I'm quick to anger. But um but
[2:05:07] I do love myself. I I feel like I can be
[2:05:10] loved by someone. I don't part of me
[2:05:13] probably but it's so fragile.
[2:05:16] >> Okay. Yeah, that's probably what it is
[2:05:17] because
[2:05:18] >> and I want you to consider I get it like
[2:05:19] it's it's it sounds great. You love
[2:05:21] yourself. You don't. There's parts of
[2:05:23] you love, you know, you're a nice
[2:05:24] person. You helped the couple. You were
[2:05:26] camping. You're sweet. You're kind.
[2:05:27] You're standing up here. You're you're a
[2:05:29] nice lady, right? You're very sweet. But
[2:05:32] there's a part of you that is like what
[2:05:33] you call the shadow that you've been
[2:05:35] working on that you don't love.
[2:05:37] Otherwise, why would you be working on
[2:05:39] it?
[2:05:40] The implicit energy there is there's
[2:05:43] something wrong. That's the pressure
[2:05:45] part. Do you see?
[2:05:46] >> Mhm.
[2:05:47] >> Love is all inclusive. It's not it's not
[2:05:49] like
[2:05:51] specific to one area. This is the
[2:05:54] beauty, folks, of being human. See, if
[2:05:55] you were perfect, you would never have
[2:05:57] to learn love. You You all can love the
[2:06:01] parts of you that like, you know, your
[2:06:02] perfect jaw lines and your great hair,
[2:06:04] your blue eyes, your perfect boobs, or
[2:06:07] whatever it is that you like about
[2:06:08] yourselves,
[2:06:09] right? That's easy. But the [ __ ]
[2:06:12] muffin top and the sailor light and the
[2:06:14] nose hairs or whatever it is, that's the
[2:06:17] opportunity for love.
[2:06:20] Like otherwise it's not love. It's just
[2:06:22] you know it's like it's easy. It's
[2:06:23] convenience.
[2:06:25] So you really have chosen I would say
[2:06:28] one of the most advanced karmic
[2:06:30] incarnations
[2:06:32] which is true true capacity for love of
[2:06:35] self.
[2:06:39] That's the precursor to and then
[2:06:40] everybody else stepping in line who
[2:06:42] wants to join you in the same dynamic.
[2:06:46] But you've got it the other way around.
[2:06:47] You've got to It's like I can remember a
[2:06:49] friend of mine who was like it used to
[2:06:50] be a great yogi and then she was out for
[2:06:52] a while, busy life, whatever, injured
[2:06:54] herself. And I said, "Oh, have you
[2:06:55] started going back to yoga?" And she
[2:06:56] said, "Oh, no, no, I can't go to yoga."
[2:06:58] I'm like, "Why not?" She says, "Well,
[2:06:59] cuz I got to practice at home first."
[2:07:02] I'm like, "Wait, what?" Like, "Well, I
[2:07:03] can't go to yoga cuz I'm not very good
[2:07:05] at it right now." I'm like, "What the
[2:07:06] [ __ ] do you think you do at the club?"
[2:07:08] [laughter]
[2:07:11] Like, do you see it's like like you
[2:07:14] could spend the rest of your life trying
[2:07:16] to perfect the shadow which is all
[2:07:17] illusory until such time that you're
[2:07:19] finally ready for, you know, which point
[2:07:21] it's too late.
[2:07:23] Do you see? Give someone the opportunity
[2:07:26] to love you exactly the way you are.
[2:07:30] What would that feel like?
[2:07:33] >> Safe. Say again.
[2:07:36] >> Safe.
[2:07:36] >> Yeah.
[2:07:37] >> Calming. Calming.
[2:07:39] >> Which is your experience to generate for
[2:07:41] yourself,
[2:07:44] >> right?
[2:07:45] You feel how your body is starting to
[2:07:47] shift.
[2:07:49] What's What are you feeling?
[2:07:52] >> Well, I started to get mad at myself
[2:07:53] again cuz again, [laughter]
[2:07:55] >> yeah,
[2:07:55] >> I can't make that. Why can't I calm
[2:07:57] myself and love myself and do all the
[2:07:59] things? The voice that the voice that's
[2:08:01] saying that is the part of you that I'm
[2:08:03] asking to integrate. You're not saying
[2:08:05] that.
[2:08:06] >> You're not like, I'm going to listen to
[2:08:07] Peter Chrome for a minute and then I'm
[2:08:09] going to come up with this like judgment
[2:08:11] of myself consciously.
[2:08:13] >> No, it's just automatic. Do you see? And
[2:08:15] that automated part of you is reactive.
[2:08:18] You don't have to show up for that. It's
[2:08:20] that little girl who's desperately
[2:08:22] trying to get she there's so much at
[2:08:24] stake for her because there's no one
[2:08:26] there. She's terrified.
[2:08:29] which is part of the hurt that then
[2:08:31] leads to the anger. Anger is a
[2:08:32] protection mechanism, right? You hit a
[2:08:34] dog enough, it's going to start barking
[2:08:35] and it was not a bad puppy,
[2:08:37] >> right?
[2:08:38] >> It learned to protect itself. You've
[2:08:40] learned to protect. There's so much at
[2:08:41] stake for you because everyone's gone
[2:08:45] that you can't afford for anybody else
[2:08:48] to leave.
[2:08:50] Do you see that?
[2:08:52] >> Yes.
[2:08:53] >> That's so much [ __ ] pressure.
[2:08:55] >> It is.
[2:08:57] It's unfair. It wasn't that little
[2:08:59] girl's fault.
[2:09:02] I'm here listening. I'm with you. And
[2:09:05] you have the opportunity to afford that
[2:09:07] for yourself now. And whether people
[2:09:09] like with Lizbe, whether people listen
[2:09:11] to her voice or not, it doesn't matter
[2:09:13] anymore for her. Of course, she wants
[2:09:15] them to, but if they're not there, like
[2:09:16] I one of my lines for myself so early on
[2:09:19] to Andre's question about these moments
[2:09:21] I've had. I realized how much when I was
[2:09:23] younger, I tried to prove myself. I
[2:09:25] tried to show people how funny I was,
[2:09:27] cool I was, smart I were, whatever. Like
[2:09:28] in England, we call it like a little bit
[2:09:30] of a poser, right? Like I was a great
[2:09:32] soccer player, but I was so great that I
[2:09:33] didn't have to show off too much, but I
[2:09:34] wanted to make sure that you could see
[2:09:36] how good. Like it was [ __ ]
[2:09:37] exhausting. [laughter]
[2:09:38] >> It's like you [ __ ] see me or you
[2:09:39] don't,
[2:09:40] >> right? And so I came up with this line.
[2:09:42] It's like, if you can't see me, it's not
[2:09:44] my job to show you.
[2:09:47] Do you see the power in that?
[2:09:49] >> Yeah.
[2:09:50] >> So stop trying to get people to see you
[2:09:52] and you see you.
[2:09:55] you love you. I promise you, you will
[2:09:57] have a line of suitors that you never
[2:09:59] ever could possibly imagine when you're
[2:10:02] okay with you.
[2:10:05] Including the part of you that's hard on
[2:10:06] yourself cuz nobody here apart from you
[2:10:08] is hard on themselves,
[2:10:10] [laughter and snorts]
[2:10:11] right? Everybody's just mastered self
[2:10:13] love.
[2:10:14] >> It's easy.
[2:10:17] >> So, what's the opportunity for Derby
[2:10:20] now?
[2:10:23] Who do you get to be from this from this
[2:10:26] conversation moving forward?
[2:10:29] >> I don't know. I think I have to take it
[2:10:32] all a lot less seriously.
[2:10:34] >> Sounds like a little more joy.
[2:10:36] >> Yeah.
[2:10:37] >> Careful.
[2:10:39] >> Careful. [laughter]
[2:10:40] >> And if you're not taking it so
[2:10:41] seriously, what might that mean in the
[2:10:43] way you relate to yourself?
[2:10:45] >> I'll give myself a break. I won't be so
[2:10:47] hard on myself.
[2:10:48] >> That sounds like a miserable life. But
[2:10:50] anyway, have [laughter] at it.
[2:10:54] Okay. And if you're not so hard on
[2:10:56] yourself and you're having a little bit
[2:10:57] more fun, what might become available?
[2:10:59] [snorts]
[2:11:00] >> Everything. Everything can loosen up and
[2:11:01] become available.
[2:11:02] >> Right.
[2:11:04] That's all you're here to discover. It's
[2:11:07] all made up.
[2:11:08] >> I know. [laughter]
[2:11:13] [snorts]
[2:11:13] >> You're just really good at making up
[2:11:14] worst case scenarios.
[2:11:17] I remember when I started working with
[2:11:18] some of my athletes 20 years ago, one of
[2:11:21] my golfers, he was on the trajectory, we
[2:11:23] ended up tripling his winnings. Right?
[2:11:25] If you're a company and you triple your
[2:11:26] winnings in 18 months, that's pretty
[2:11:28] significant, right? But one of the
[2:11:30] catalysts for him is like 3 months into
[2:11:32] our work together, he sent me a text one
[2:11:34] day just as he'd like gone from like
[2:11:36] missing cuts, missing cuts, missing cuts
[2:11:38] to like a top 10, like not making any
[2:11:40] money to suddenly picking up a quarter
[2:11:41] of a million bucks for doing something
[2:11:43] that he loved. He said, "I just got it."
[2:11:46] This is his text. I just got it. It
[2:11:48] comes down to whoever has the best
[2:11:50] imagination.
[2:11:55] That girl had a lot of time to create
[2:11:57] worst case scenarios as part of her
[2:11:59] imagination.
[2:12:02] Lisbette made up the belief through her
[2:12:04] imagination that her voice carries no
[2:12:06] weight. So then it didn't.
[2:12:09] Kalin believed through his imagination
[2:12:11] that he has no power, that he can't
[2:12:13] upset people. And so that's the way it
[2:12:15] is. And so it is. And you made up
[2:12:18] through your beautiful imagination that
[2:12:20] there's something wrong with you. There
[2:12:21] must be cuz all these people leave.
[2:12:24] Clearly, it's your fault. So I'll start
[2:12:27] working on myself.
[2:12:32] I hate to be the one to break it to
[2:12:34] Darby. There's nothing wrong with you.
[2:12:37] And even the part of you that thinks
[2:12:39] there is is one of your most beautiful
[2:12:41] attributes.
[2:12:44] because it makes you human.
[2:12:47] Are you willing to join us?
[2:12:49] >> Definitely
[2:12:50] >> in your beautifully flawed self.
[2:12:53] >> Absolutely.
[2:12:54] >> Thank you.
[2:12:55] >> Thank you.
[2:12:57] [applause]
[2:13:02] [applause]
[2:13:05] >> Okay. Who could relate to that? Any of
[2:13:06] you like here with slightly
[2:13:08] disillusional idea that there's
[2:13:10] something wrong with you? [laughter]
[2:13:12] Yeah, I told you at the beginning you're
[2:13:13] all [ __ ]
[2:13:16] I'm such an inspirational speaker.
[2:13:18] [laughter]
[2:13:22] It's your best. It's your greatest part.
[2:13:24] Like I think sometimes it's so funny. We
[2:13:26] get so spiritual that we forget the most
[2:13:29] spiritual thing you can do is be fully
[2:13:31] human.
[2:13:34] Be here. You signed up to feel and
[2:13:36] experience, not get it right. Imagine
[2:13:39] going back to the gods like with all of
[2:13:41] us like you know as this luminous
[2:13:43] beautiful light bodies. It's like man
[2:13:45] did you feel shame? [ __ ] that was
[2:13:47] [ __ ] that was awesome. No, I avoided
[2:13:49] the [ __ ] out of that. [laughter] Oh, you
[2:13:51] missed out. You know it's like right.
[2:13:53] It's like feel it all.
[2:13:58] You guys feel like you've embraced a
[2:14:00] little bit more of yourself today.
[2:14:05] Man, it's a it's a gift to have you in
[2:14:06] the space and just as a brother, you
[2:14:08] know, you like every time we're
[2:14:09] together, it's just non-stop play and
[2:14:12] jokes and to me that lightness
[2:14:13] >> Yeah.
[2:14:14] >> Um that childlike joy is what's
[2:14:16] available on the other side of the of
[2:14:18] all these things inside of us.
[2:14:20] >> Absolutely.
[2:14:21] >> And um so thank you for the gift of your
[2:14:23] presence and uh you're an incredible
[2:14:25] listener.
[2:14:26] >> Thank you. And um I think that is a
[2:14:28] quality that is radically transformative
[2:14:30] of all of our relationships and it's a
[2:14:32] it's a great thing to model and to take
[2:14:35] inspiration from.
[2:14:36] >> Thank you.
[2:14:36] >> Um it's uh you've been doing this for a
[2:14:40] while and
[2:14:42] um I'm just so excited for you as your
[2:14:44] book eventually gets released as your
[2:14:46] masterminds and your work continues to
[2:14:48] spread. Yeah.
[2:14:49] >> And it is uh it was just your birthday.
[2:14:52] >> It was two days ago. Yeah.
[2:14:56] Yeah.
[2:14:57] >> Can we sing Peter a little happy
[2:14:58] birthday?
[2:14:58] >> Let's [ __ ] go.
[2:14:59] >> Let's go.
[2:15:00] >> None of this cheap. Oh, really? So rude
[2:15:06] [laughter]
[2:15:07] to
[2:15:12] >> Come on, we're free. [laughter]
[2:15:20] Happy birthday
[2:15:22] to you
[2:15:25] >> and many more.
[2:15:30] >> Thank you guys. You know what is so
[2:15:32] beautiful in terms of the world of
[2:15:33] manifestation. Very similar to Derby.
[2:15:36] You know, I told my story a little bit.
[2:15:37] Thank you. You going to eat it?
[2:15:39] >> Um
[2:15:41] um I'm working on my figure. I can't
[2:15:42] touch it. [laughter]
[2:15:45] Um orphaned at a young age. Mom dies
[2:15:48] when I'm seven. dad dies when I was 17.
[2:15:49] So very much the world that I lived in,
[2:15:51] the orientation to my own nervous system
[2:15:53] was I'm alone, right? Like literally. So
[2:15:55] it became very convincing, very similar
[2:15:57] to what Darby was sharing. So it's
[2:15:58] definitely all up to me. So yesterday I
[2:16:01] got like, you know, two plus people
[2:16:04] singing me happy birthday at my live
[2:16:05] event. Last year I was in London. We had
[2:16:08] an arena of like 550 people singing me
[2:16:10] for my birthday.
[2:16:11] >> So we're not enough is basically
[2:16:12] basically. So what have you got from the
[2:16:15] conversation that you're all amazing?
[2:16:16] Let's just go straight back to you're
[2:16:18] all completely inadequate, [laughter]
[2:16:21] especially collectively.
[2:16:23] So what's so beautiful as a living
[2:16:25] example of how I'm part of this with
[2:16:27] you, right? I never like to put myself
[2:16:29] on a pedestal. And one of the things I
[2:16:30] really take pride in is as much as my
[2:16:32] star continues to rise and I get stopped
[2:16:35] in the most the strangest of places,
[2:16:37] right? Walking through airports at a
[2:16:39] [ __ ] random cave in IA, three people
[2:16:41] like doing some ceremony and they're
[2:16:42] like Peter Cron. I'm like, "What the
[2:16:44] fuck?" [laughter]
[2:16:46] The thing that I love is that I really
[2:16:48] take pride in the fact that I just I
[2:16:50] don't like to be the prophet, right?
[2:16:53] Like I love to be with it. Like last
[2:16:55] night there was like 70 people lined up,
[2:16:57] hugs, photos, selfies, you know, like
[2:17:00] I've gone to people, peers, friends of
[2:17:02] mine that I work with do events and not
[2:17:04] naming names, but you know, they've sort
[2:17:06] of become removed, right? And so I just
[2:17:09] really want to acknowledge this moment
[2:17:10] for myself with you that this is
[2:17:12] something that wasn't previously
[2:17:13] available to Peter Cron of old, right?
[2:17:15] That I would be by myself would justify
[2:17:18] it. It's okay. I don't need to be with
[2:17:20] people. I've become so good at being by
[2:17:22] myself. And so it's really just so nice
[2:17:24] that my life is starting to emulate what
[2:17:27] I really speak to, which is unity
[2:17:29] consciousness, right? That I can
[2:17:30] celebrate me and life, good and bad,
[2:17:33] with people. So, thank you for being
[2:17:35] here and celebrating me because that was
[2:17:37] something that I typically would have
[2:17:38] shunned and and made it like a a sort of
[2:17:42] a highuting version of like I'm totally
[2:17:45] self-sufficient, right? So, thank you
[2:17:47] for being here with me. It's a it's and
[2:17:49] your kind words, my friend. It's it's a
[2:17:52] beautiful evening. Thank you for
[2:17:53] entrusting me with your stories, the
[2:17:54] three people who kindly shared. I hope
[2:17:56] you all got something from it. But
[2:17:58] you're listening, I can tell the amount
[2:18:00] of attention that you're giving me,
[2:18:01] which really is not lost on me. It's
[2:18:03] very meaningful. And one of like what
[2:18:05] Andre said, you know, one of the gifts
[2:18:06] that I really love is listening. And for
[2:18:08] those of you who want to understand
[2:18:10] listening, people like, "Dude, how do
[2:18:11] you remember how like it's on the other
[2:18:13] side of survival, right? So 2.0 inherent
[2:18:17] is the capacity to listen because
[2:18:19] listening is a byproduct of presence.
[2:18:22] And if in you're in survival mode, you
[2:18:24] can't fully be present. So if you
[2:18:26] struggle with names, if you struggle to,
[2:18:28] you know, remember where you left
[2:18:30] whatever it is or what you wanted to do,
[2:18:32] just consider maybe you're just too busy
[2:18:35] trying to survive and perhaps give your
[2:18:37] grace. Give yourself grace. It's okay.
[2:18:39] And just to slow down. So first of all,
[2:18:41] thank you for being with me. Thank you
[2:18:42] for giving me your attention. I know I
[2:18:44] download quickly and for some people
[2:18:45] that can be a little overwhelming, but
[2:18:47] trust that subconsciously you've embied
[2:18:49] what you needed to get. And um and
[2:18:52] otherwise you can find me. And if you're
[2:18:53] interested in the 2.0 0 world that I'm
[2:18:55] revealing. I would love for you to all
[2:18:57] come and join. So
[2:18:58] >> beautiful.
[2:18:59] >> Thank you. And thank you for the
[2:19:00] singing. [applause]
[2:19:04] >> Beautiful to be with you all.
[2:19:06] >> I believe we have some we have some
[2:19:08] treats. We have some cake to share. So
[2:19:11] >> we have
[2:19:12] >> Let's [ __ ] go.
[2:19:14] >> It's all of our birthday.
[2:19:16] >> Yes. Yay.
[2:19:17] >> It's your spiritual birthdays.
[2:19:20] [laughter]
[2:19:22] >> Okay. Amazing.
[2:19:23] >> All right. Amazing. Wait, let's do an
[2:19:24] outro, you guys. Can I do that?
[2:19:27] >> Okay. Yeah. Don't [ __ ] it up. Do
[2:19:30] >> Yeah. Yeah. I'll try I'll try my best.
[2:19:31] Just Everyone keeps walking in front of
[2:19:32] the camera.
[2:19:33] >> Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Stop.
[2:19:34] >> Uh, everybody, thank you so much. No.
[2:19:36] See it happen again. [laughter]
[2:19:38] It's okay.
[2:19:41] >> This is a podcast, guys. [laughter] I
[2:19:43] have a job to do here. Okay.
[2:19:45] >> Yeah. Trying to make some money. It
[2:19:47] doesn't want to become an Uber driver,
[2:19:49] [laughter]
[2:19:50] but it would be okay.
[2:19:52] Thank you so much for tuning into this
[2:19:54] episode of the Know Thyself podcast.
[2:19:56] It's been a joy to have you with us,
[2:19:59] Peter, and everybody in the live
[2:20:00] audience. And until next time, be well.
[2:20:02] We did it. That's it.
[2:20:06] >> Let's go. Let's [ __ ] live.
[2:20:08] >> Let's be completely flawed.
[2:20:16] [music]
[2:20:26] >> [music]