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Inspiration

Human 1.0 vs 2.0: The Survival Mindset Explained

Andre Duqum
Andre Duqum
Nov 10, 2026
11 min di lettura

Da André Duqum

Guarda · 4

Under the oak trees of Topanga Canyon, as the light went down on the second day of a retreat, a crowd that had spent two days eating together, laughing together and sitting in circles finally turned its attention to a single question: what is the journey you take people on? The man being asked, Peter Crone, widely known as the Mind Architect and a teacher with more than three decades of work on the subconscious patterns that shape a life, answered with a map of two operating systems. Human 1.0 is the survival orientation most of us live from, a default setting that calculates, predicts and protects an identity assembled in childhood. Human 2.0, as he frames it, is not an upgraded version of that identity but a recognition of who we are beneath it. The conversation, a live podcast hosted by André Duqum and recorded during the first Know Thyself Retreat, is a compact guide to why self-improvement so often leaves people where they started, and what might be possible when the lens itself changes.

Lettura · 7 sezioni

What does "survival" mean when most people are not in danger?

The starting claim sounds almost too broad to test, and Crone made it deliberately. "I would assert that the current orientation of the human mind, which is based in really I would say 99% of the way that people function, is that we look through a lens which is primordially oriented towards survival," he said on the livestream. He then made the point concrete. Most people in the room, he noted, are not worried about shelter or food. The problems they bring are, in his words, largely first-world problems. The survival orientation has simply moved indoors.

Crone's list of what that looks like in everyday life is specific: you don't want to upset your spouse, you don't want to lose your job, you don't want to lose money. You are always trying to calculate, figure out, predict and speculate about what will happen next. None of those worries is absurd on its face. The distinction he draws is between a threat that is real and a threat that has been installed as the organizing principle of a whole personality. He describes this as the "default factory settings" of being human, the baseline most people never question because it feels like simply being awake.

To make the difference vivid, he used a line that landed hard in the room: "Is someone holding a gun against his head? No, you have a choice. You either live or you survive. So that's two entirely different worlds." The point is not that danger never exists. It is that a mind running on survival treats nearly every uncertainty as if it were a gun to the head, and then spends its energy managing the perceived threat rather than living the life in front of it.

Why does the same problem keep coming back in different forms?

The reason, in Crone's account, is that the survival lens is protecting something specific: an identity formed in childhood. He put the logic in a single sentence during the conversation: "As long as you think you're a separate self, you have no choice but to survive." If you experience yourself as a separate, vulnerable self that has to be defended, then every relationship, job and bank balance becomes a possible site of loss. The strategies you built to stay safe as a child become the operating system of your adult life.

This is why patterns recur. Crone opened the floor by asking whether anyone had "a pattern that keeps reoccurring in their life, a cycle that keeps coming back," and the answers from the room, which included people describing a sense of not doing what they want and a persistent feeling of not being enough, pointed in the same direction. He has also described the early origin of these responses, saying in the exchange that the first compensations are often set up early on, long before a person has words for what is happening. The pattern is not a random bad habit. It is the lens doing its job.

That reframing leads to the central critique in Crone's work. If the problem is the lens, then working on the contents of life will only rearrange the furniture. Crone's stated focus, as the video's own summary puts it, is dissolving the beliefs that generate the same problems wherever a person goes. A new job, a new partner or a new spiritual practice can be a fine thing, but if the underlying belief that you are not enough travels with you, the same story returns with new characters.

What is Human 2.0, if it is not an upgrade?

The word "upgrade" is the hinge of the whole framework, and Crone is careful about it. "So what I'm revealing is the 2.0, which is not an upgrade," he said. "What I'm interested in is not improving you as a person, but really I'm revealing the essence of who you are." An upgrade would be a better version of the same self: more confident, more disciplined, more successful within the same survival logic. Human 2.0 is a different category altogether. It is a recognition that the self doing the striving was a construction to begin with.

An audience member put the appeal of this plainly. "I want the 2.0 model," they said. "I'm tired of these incremental things. I just feel like I've always had to do everything by myself." That exhaustion, the sense that every improvement is another round of effort on a self that never quite arrives, is exactly the condition Crone is describing. The 2.0 orientation does not ask you to try harder at the old project. It asks you to look at who is doing the trying.

It is worth being precise about what the framework does and does not claim, because the language is easy to misread. The description of the conversation says that Crone's work focuses on seeing through subconscious patterns and recognizing who we are beneath the identity built in childhood. It does not promise that the survival lens disappears in a single afternoon, and Crone's own framing treats the shift as a change of orientation rather than a permanent state. What changes is where a person locates the source of their experience.

What happens when "I don't know" becomes the honest answer?

The clearest illustration of the framework in the video is a personal story. According to the description, Crone went through a breakup that echoed the early loss of both of his parents. In the aftermath he found that the honest answer to every anxious question was simply "I don't know." Will she come back? What will happen next? What if I lose this? The honest reply to all of them was the same.

What he discovered was that accepting life as inherently uncertain released his need to predict outcomes. That need, in the 1.0 frame, is the survival engine: prediction is a way of trying to make the future safe. Once the prediction loop loosened, Crone was able to be present with another person rather than consumed by the fear of losing them. The relationship stopped being a site of management and became an encounter.

This is subtle and worth sitting with. Many people hear "accept uncertainty" as a motivational line, a way of being calm about things you cannot control. Crone's version is more specific. It is not about tolerating anxiety in order to function. It is about noticing that the anxiety is the survival lens asking for a guarantee that life cannot give, and that the lens loosens when the guarantee is no longer demanded. In his telling, presence was not a technique he applied. It was what remained once the prediction stopped.

Where do our feelings actually come from?

Across the live coaching in the second half of the session, Crone kept returning to a single observation: people routinely place the source of their feelings in events and in other people. A partner's tone, a boss's email or a family member's silence becomes the cause of the feeling. The implication is that the feeling is located outside, and so the only way to change it is to change what is outside.

The description reports what happened when attendees began to see something different. Beliefs such as feeling powerless or unworthy, when they were examined, turned out to live in the mind. They were not part of a person's actual makeup. Once that became visible, the lens loosened and new choices became available. A belief that feels like a fact about who you are can be seen, at least sometimes, as a learned interpretation that has been running in the background. That shift from "this is what I am" to "this is a thought I have been having" is where, in Crone's framework, freedom becomes possible in real time.

Crone's most direct statement on this came as he addressed the room with an unusually gentle reframe of imperfection: "There's nothing wrong with you. This is the beauty, folks, of being human. See, if you were perfect, you would never have to learn love. Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free."

"Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free." Peter Crone, on André Duqum's live podcast, recorded during the first Know Thyself Retreat.

That idea recasts difficulty as information. The people and situations that trigger you are not evidence that something is broken. They are the places where the lens is still active. Crone also had a line for the stubbornness of the ego that drew a laugh and a point at once: "Ego doesn't want to be healed. It wants to be held. And I hold mine tight." It is a joke, but it is also a precise description of why insight alone so rarely changes a person. The identity wants to be protected, not dissolved.

What does a live session with the Mind Architect actually look like?

The format matters to the feel of the material. This was not a studio interview. It was a live podcast in front of a community that had been together for two days, with time split between conversation and coaching and an open Q&A. André Duqum introduced Crone as someone he considers one of the most effective coaches in helping people discover true freedom in real time, and framed the blind spots the session would examine as innate to identity itself, not as personal failings. That framing set the tone: the aim was not to diagnose anyone but to watch the lens operate in the open.

Crone, for his part, kept the mood loose. He joked about being "off the leash" and about being the only four-time guest, and he refused to let the conversation settle into easy certainty. But beneath the banter was a consistent method. He asks a question, waits for the honest answer, and then points to what sits underneath it. His closing move in one exchange was the one that gives the whole framework its practical edge: "If you can really be honest, what are you struggling with in life right now? I guarantee you underneath it..." The sentence is left open on purpose. The work is in finishing it yourself.

Where to go from here

If the survival framework resonates, the most useful next step is observational rather than ambitious. For a week, notice the moments when your mind starts to calculate, predict or speculate about what will happen. Notice what you are protecting when that happens. Ask whether the feeling you are trying to manage is located in the event in front of you or in a belief about yourself that you have been carrying since before you could name it. You do not need to resolve the belief to see it.

For the full conversation, including the live coaching exchanges and the Q&A that follows, watch the complete video on André Duqum's channel. The chapter structure runs from the opening framing through the live podcast setup and the core explanation of Human 1.0 and 2.0, so you can move directly to the sections most relevant to you. The video description also points to the Know Thyself Collective and to upcoming Know Thyself retreats for readers who want to continue the conversation in person or in a guided group space.

The most honest takeaway from the evening may be the simplest one. Crone's framework begins with a question most people have been too busy to ask: who is it that has to survive? Answer that honestly, and the rest of the work starts to look less like self-improvement and more like coming home.

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Transcript

[0:00] There's no such thing as a person with a

[0:02] problem. How many of you can relate to

[0:03] the feeling of not being enough? Okay,

[0:06] great. You don't want to upset the

[0:07] spouse. You don't want to lose your job.

[0:09] You don't want to lose money. You're

[0:10] always trying to calculate, figure out,

[0:12] predict, speculate what's going to

[0:14] happen as a means of survival. So that's

[0:16] 1.0. 1.0 mindset, the default factory

[0:19] settings of what it is to be a human

[0:20] being. If anybody has [music] a pattern

[0:22] that keeps reoccurring in their life, a

[0:24] cycle that keeps coming back.

[0:26] >> I don't do what I want. if I don't

[0:28] [music] pursue my biggest and wildest

[0:29] dreams.

[0:30] >> Is someone holding a gun against his

[0:31] head? No, you have a choice. You either

[0:33] live or you survive. So that's two

[0:35] entirely different worlds. So what I'm

[0:37] revealing is the 2.0, which is not a

[0:40] [music] upgrade. What I'm interested in

[0:42] is not improving you as a person, but

[0:44] really I'm revealing the essence of who

[0:45] you are.

[0:46] >> I want the 2.0 model. I'm tired of these

[0:48] incremental things. I just feel like

[0:50] I've always had to do everything by

[0:52] myself.

[0:52] >> As long as you think you're a separate

[0:53] self, you have no choice but to survive.

[0:55] You're exhausted. [music]

[0:57] Why are you working on yourself?

[0:59] >> Cuz I want to be acceptable.

[1:01] >> Which means that underneath it, what

[1:02] does that make you now?

[1:04] >> I hate to be the one to [music] break it

[1:06] to you, Darby. There's nothing wrong

[1:07] with you. This is the beauty, folks, of

[1:09] being human. See, if you were perfect,

[1:11] you would never have to learn love. Life

[1:13] will present [music] you with people and

[1:14] circumstances to reveal where you're not

[1:16] free. If you can really be honest, what

[1:18] are you struggling with in life right

[1:20] now? I guarantee you underneath it,

[1:21] [music] there is our work here is done.

[1:32] Kaka.

[1:36] [laughter]

[1:39] >> What's up everyone?

[1:42] >> This is gently on the grass.

[1:46] >> I'm hearing slight narration from Peter.

[1:48] >> Oh, hello. What? [laughter]

[1:50] >> What?

[1:50] >> Shh. I'm not here. Stop looking.

[1:55] You're listening to an illusion.

[1:57] [laughter]

[1:59] It's all in your mind.

[2:03] [snorts]

[2:04] >> Guys, we have an amazing evening in

[2:07] store.

[2:07] >> It's going to be all right. [laughter]

[2:11] >> Oh, is this thing still on? What? Can

[2:14] you hear me now?

[2:16] [laughter]

[2:17] Sorry. Carry on. What were you saying?

[2:21] >> [gasps and laughter]

[2:24] >> Um, all right guys. So, after a

[2:28] beautiful day of connection with each

[2:29] other, the land, with yourselves,

[2:32] I get the pleasure to do a live podcast

[2:34] with y'all, which is so fun.

[2:43] >> It's so cool how just in a 3-day time

[2:45] span of this collective retreat, on day

[2:48] two, it feels like everyone's family. I

[2:50] just see that and the way that you guys

[2:51] are laughing as you're walking from

[2:52] place to place and having dinner and

[2:54] it's just such an honor to be able to do

[2:56] this in this setting because normally

[2:58] I'm in a podcast studio and it's lovely.

[3:01] I love that for the one-on-one deep

[3:02] dive, but there's something amazing that

[3:05] comes into the space when there's a

[3:07] community that's present. Um, so we'll

[3:09] split it half and half kind of combo

[3:11] between Peter and I. We'll see where we

[3:13] go. Um, and then we'll open it up for

[3:16] some live coaching, for some Q&A. this

[3:18] guy, you know, descriptions often fail,

[3:22] almost inevitably have to fail

[3:25] describing somebody in their essence, as

[3:26] we've explored today in our different

[3:28] workshops. He is widely known as the

[3:30] mind architect and somebody who I in my

[3:33] eyes is one of the most effective

[3:35] coaches in helping people discover true

[3:37] freedom in real time. We are all

[3:39] operating through and with blind spots

[3:42] that are just innate to our identity.

[3:44] And he has this really beautiful way to

[3:47] articulate how they are elucory, how

[3:50] there is an intelligent design behind

[3:52] them and how to see through them to

[3:55] access more liberation in this very

[3:57] present moment. So Peter Cron, could you

[3:59] please join me to the stage, my friend?

[4:00] >> You got it.

[4:03] Let's go. It's

[4:04] >> going to take me a minute to get over

[4:06] there, so just talk amongst yourselves.

[4:09] >> Woo! I don't always whoop, but when I

[4:12] do, there it is. Anyway, [laughter]

[4:18] I just want to see who's paying

[4:19] attention. [laughter]

[4:20] Hello.

[4:22] >> Don't mind me. I'm English.

[4:24] >> Hello, darling.

[4:25] >> Hello, darling. Hello, puppet.

[4:27] >> Thanks for all coming. I appreciate it.

[4:30] [snorts]

[4:31] [sighs]

[4:32] Oh, thank you.

[4:34] My roofy. What? [laughter]

[4:38] There are drugs in.

[4:40] Sorry. Bit too soon, huh? [laughter]

[4:44] Let the light go down at least.

[4:47] >> He's been like this for the past 90

[4:48] minutes. Just off the leash as always.

[4:51] >> He just wasn't with me prior to the 90

[4:53] minutes. I've been like this for the

[4:55] last 35 years. [laughter]

[4:58] >> Of course, it's my age. But anyway,

[5:01] >> how we all doing? We good?

[5:03] >> You sure?

[5:05] >> Kind of worried about you. [laughter]

[5:07] We'll find out how good you are in a

[5:09] minute. But anyway, let's pretend for

[5:10] now. It feels good. [laughter]

[5:13] Okay. Well, sorry. You going to ask a

[5:14] question? No.

[5:15] >> Um I think you were just going to talk

[5:16] the whole time.

[5:16] >> Okay, great.

[5:18] >> Yeah, just how I like it. [laughter]

[5:22] >> The uh the special thing. This is our

[5:25] fourth podcast now. I just can't can't

[5:27] get rid of this guy.

[5:28] >> Am I the only four-timer?

[5:30] >> You keep asking that. I'm pretty sure.

[5:31] >> Well, because you you [ __ ] don't

[5:33] answer [laughter] the question. So, you

[5:35] thought you listen well. You really

[5:36] don't. It's like a very It's like It's a

[5:38] yes or no answer. It's [laughter]

[5:40] pretty simple. You know,

[5:42] >> I'm trying to protect your ego from

[5:44] being too inflated. So, I'm keeping it

[5:46] in the unknown.

[5:47] >> I listen. I

[5:49] >> I I love my ego. I love myself.

[5:52] >> That's the problem.

[5:53] >> Oh, okay.

[5:54] >> Okay.

[5:55] >> Ego doesn't want to be healed. It wants

[5:56] to be held. And I hold mine tight.

[5:59] [laughter]

[6:01] >> Okay. What do we got?

[6:02] >> Got a death grip on that thing. Um

[6:04] >> Yeah. I don't know. Where should we go?

[6:06] This is all I planned for. [laughter]

[6:09] >> Thank you for attending our TED talk.

[6:10] >> Yeah, that's it. We're over. It's over.

[6:13] Um, [clears throat] okay guys, so we've

[6:14] spent all yesterday connecting with each

[6:17] other uh in a much deeper way under the

[6:20] oak trees. Here we are in Topinga

[6:21] Canyon, this magical place. I live in

[6:23] this city. It's home. It's home to many

[6:25] of us. And the entire staff and

[6:29] attendees have gone through quite the

[6:31] journey um up until this point. It's

[6:33] been not even 48 hours. and we've done

[6:36] multiple workshops,

[6:38] um, so many connection exercises,

[6:40] brunches, dinners, live music, and it's,

[6:43] uh, it's been beautiful to see you guys

[6:46] fully relax into yourself and open up in

[6:48] such an amazing way. And I think that

[6:51] makes this conversation um land on

[6:54] fertile soil

[6:56] because from this place now we get to

[6:59] explore and highlight and reveal some

[7:01] limiting patterns um that are pervasive

[7:04] within the human species within most

[7:07] psychology and then specifically within

[7:09] um the collective that's here today.

[7:11] Peter, why don't we start with a

[7:12] question? How does that sound?

[7:13] >> I just I love starting there. [laughter]

[7:18] When you look at the subconscious mind

[7:20] and the operating systems

[7:23] >> that are running the show.

[7:25] >> Yeah. [clears throat]

[7:26] >> Um, in ways we're not fully privy to.

[7:28] >> Mhm.

[7:29] >> You have a beautiful, I guess, new

[7:32] architecture and the way that you're

[7:33] explaining what it means to be human

[7:34] 2.0. In your own words, could you just

[7:37] share what is the journey you're taking

[7:39] people on in your work?

[7:41] >> Okay. Um, beautiful question. So, first

[7:44] of all, I'm just curious just so I get a

[7:45] sense of the crowd. How many of you are

[7:47] to some degree, this is not stroking

[7:49] ego, just really objective question, are

[7:52] familiar with my work to some degree?

[7:54] Okay, great. How many of you have even

[7:56] heard me talk about 2.0 as a kind of

[7:59] container? Okay, great. So for those of

[8:01] you that clearly as the majority so I

[8:03] would assert that the current

[8:04] orientation of the human mind which is

[8:07] based in really I would say 99% of the

[8:10] way that people function is that we look

[8:11] through a lens which is primordially

[8:15] oriented towards survival right so we

[8:18] live in a world fortunately us as a

[8:20] collective that we're sort of got if

[8:22] problems that we have are tended to be

[8:23] first pro first first world problems

[8:25] we're not typically like worrying about

[8:27] shelter or food we sort of the hierarchy

[8:29] of needs we've kind of covered those,

[8:31] right? But I still want you to consider

[8:32] that survival is the predominant

[8:34] orientation. Meaning that it's not so

[8:37] much whether you're going to get your

[8:38] next meal, but it's really you don't

[8:40] want to upset the spouse, you don't want

[8:42] to mess up the kids, you don't want to

[8:43] lose your job, you don't want to lose

[8:44] money, right? Things like that. So 1.0

[8:47] mindset is this orientation, which to me

[8:50] is the default factory settings of what

[8:51] it is to be a human being. And I

[8:53] realized this for myself about 20some

[8:55] years ago. And I realized uh with an

[8:58] incredible amount of liberation that

[9:00] kind of cascaded through every cell of

[9:01] my body that I'd never experienced

[9:03] before that allowed me to kind of lift

[9:05] the veil on the matrix. Now inside of

[9:07] that construct of 1.0, there's no

[9:10] resolution. And that's categoric, right?

[9:12] What I mean is as long as you've got the

[9:14] orientation of being a separate entity,

[9:17] you have no choice but to survive in

[9:19] whichever arena of life you feel the

[9:21] most threatened. Does that make sense?

[9:23] Yes. No. lost you already. Okay. So

[9:27] within that construct, within that

[9:29] particular orientation, there can only

[9:31] be improvements. There can only be

[9:33] changes. There can only be trying to fix

[9:35] or resolve issues. But fundamentally,

[9:38] if so, let's ask a question because of

[9:40] the container that we're in here, which

[9:42] is beautiful. How many of you would say

[9:45] that you're working on improving

[9:48] self-love?

[9:50] Right? That that's a that's a worthwhile

[9:52] pursuit, is it not? like you know it's

[9:54] LA right so who isn't at some degree

[9:56] working on self love and for that reason

[9:58] that's why you're all [ __ ] right

[9:59] because [laughter] sorry was there no

[10:02] swearing in this anyway um because if

[10:05] you understand the mechanism by which

[10:07] behavior is oriented if you're looking

[10:09] to work on self-love that there's some

[10:11] aspect of you that believes it's

[10:13] unlovable

[10:14] do you follow so that's the fundamental

[10:18] what I call these 10 primal prisms of

[10:20] the subconscious of the current identity

[10:22] the genesis of an identity which starts

[10:24] in our childhood which we'll get to

[10:25] probably especially when I work with

[10:27] some of you is that at some point we

[10:29] decided to create these conclusions

[10:31] about who we are usually in a form of

[10:34] negation so I'm not something how many

[10:36] of you can relate to whether you've

[10:37] transcended or not the feeling at times

[10:39] of not being enough

[10:41] okay great how many of you at sometimes

[10:44] think that you're worried what other

[10:46] people think about you

[10:48] perfect there's like at least 60% the

[10:50] other 40% are so worried what they think

[10:52] other people think about them, they

[10:53] can't put their [ __ ] hands up, right?

[10:55] So, do you see it doesn't really matter?

[10:57] You're [ __ ] either way. I told you you

[10:59] might as well play the game with me.

[11:00] I've done this a million times. So,

[11:02] again, you're being driven by software,

[11:04] right? So, when you recognize that these

[11:06] negations that I'm not something when

[11:08] you're not something, which is

[11:09] juxtaposed against what I would consider

[11:11] to be the essence of you, which is

[11:12] everything, then now you're in a state

[11:14] of conflict. Like you might say it, you

[11:16] go to spiritual talks, workshops, and

[11:18] you're like, I am everything. I'm whole

[11:20] as a declaration, but the experience of

[11:22] your nervous system is often counter to

[11:24] that, right? And that drives all of the

[11:26] coping strategies. You become

[11:27] perfectionists. You become kind people,

[11:29] nice people, smart people. None of it's

[11:32] bad. You just want to notice that it's

[11:33] just a way of coping in the arena of

[11:35] survival. So that's 1.0. So what I'm

[11:38] revealing is the 2.0, which is not a

[11:41] upgrade. Like I don't have my phone with

[11:43] me. I think I have iPhone 16. So in the

[11:46] lexicon that we understand as it relates

[11:48] to any form of upgrade, you typically

[11:49] take something and then you just add a

[11:51] number to the digit afterwards, right?

[11:53] So iPhone 16 now it was 17 I think and

[11:56] now they just launched 18. Now that's

[11:59] fine and we understand it within the

[12:01] vocabulary of what it is to be a human.

[12:03] But what's people are missing is you're

[12:05] taking something that previously existed

[12:07] and you're tweaking it. Right? So iPhone

[12:10] 18 contains all the other iterations. Do

[12:12] you do you understand that? It's just I

[12:14] take what I had and I tweak it. That's a

[12:16] linear progression that most human

[12:18] beings are stuck on. Within that

[12:20] particular paradigm, all you can ever do

[12:22] is become the best version of your

[12:24] limited self and that should both be

[12:27] revoly but also a little bit painful,

[12:29] right? So really what you're taking is

[12:30] you as a confined unit, the personality

[12:33] that you think you are and you're just

[12:34] trying to improve it. It's not wrong.

[12:36] It's it's a worthwhile cause, but you're

[12:38] still going to have your footnel to the

[12:40] floor of whatever your feeling of

[12:41] inadequacy is. What I'm doing is not

[12:43] trying to improve you. I have no

[12:45] interest in making you better people.

[12:46] So, sorry, forget about that. I'm not

[12:48] going to do that. Right? I'm much more

[12:50] interested in killing all of you, right?

[12:52] This is Tango. We're in a cult. Like,

[12:54] just [laughter] like this is what

[12:57] happens. I mean, what the did you

[12:58] expect, right? Jesus. Anyway, so the

[13:02] whole point of like my work is really

[13:03] dissolution, not solution. I'm not in

[13:05] the business of solving problems.

[13:06] There's a million experts out there that

[13:07] will try and solve your problems, which

[13:09] if you understand is really reinforcing

[13:11] the subtle belief that you have some,

[13:12] right? And when you really get this,

[13:14] problems aren't something that are

[13:16] separate to you. There's no such thing

[13:17] as a person with a problem. The person

[13:20] personality and the problem are

[13:21] commensurate. They're one and the same

[13:23] thing. Have you noticed that wherever

[13:24] you go that you have the same problems,

[13:26] right? You are the the generator of what

[13:30] occurs to you as a problem. So what I'm

[13:32] interested in is not improving you as a

[13:34] person, but really destroying the

[13:36] identity that is the idea of yourself

[13:38] and revealing what's beneath that. Does

[13:41] that make sense? So that's 2.0. So

[13:42] really like, you know, I was joking. I

[13:44] had a live event. Was anyone at my live

[13:46] event last night? I don't think so. No,

[13:47] cuz you were here.

[13:49] >> Terrible [ __ ] choice of priorities.

[13:52] [laughter]

[13:53] So um so what I was speaking about like

[13:57] you know joking in the arena that I used

[13:58] to traffic in which was transforming

[14:01] bodies not subconscious patterns you

[14:03] know friends are like dude like you know

[14:05] how do you get a six-pack? I'm like what

[14:06] the [ __ ] are you talking about? We all

[14:08] have six-packs, right? It's just mine

[14:10] isn't hidden like yours, right? It's

[14:13] [laughter]

[14:14] like, what do you do? I like I don't do

[14:16] the [ __ ] that you do that hides the

[14:17] six-pack you already have that you pay

[14:19] 150 bucks to go to the gym to try and

[14:21] find. What are they handing them out

[14:23] there? Just do Stop doing all the [ __ ]

[14:25] that you have that Right. You get it,

[14:27] right? So, if you look at that as a

[14:28] physiological analogy to what I'm doing,

[14:30] I'm revealing the essence of who you

[14:32] are, which is beneath the [ __ ]

[14:34] stories you have about yourself. That's

[14:36] about it really. It's really quite

[14:38] simple. I don't know what everyone's

[14:40] problem

[14:43] >> finding the six-pack within.

[14:45] >> Yes, exactly. We're finding your

[14:47] spiritual six-pack.

[14:48] >> Wow. That's the name of this workshop.

[14:50] >> Yeah.

[14:52] Rectus abdominis.

[14:54] [laughter]

[14:55] >> Pardon?

[14:57] >> Could you define the way you use the

[14:59] term freedom?

[15:01] >> Oo, that's a big one. So, freedom has

[15:04] got many connotations. Words I traffic

[15:05] in language, right? Like words carry

[15:07] vibration, sound, meaning. And depending

[15:09] on who you are, you're going to hear

[15:10] certain words and it's going to trigger

[15:11] based on the current way that you're

[15:13] oriented, right? So you might hear a

[15:14] particular word and for you it sort of

[15:16] gives the feeling of euphoria, hope,

[15:18] possibility. For somebody else, it could

[15:20] be threatening. But freedom, I think we

[15:22] can all agree upon is something that

[15:23] we'd all want. But in the context of how

[15:25] I look at it, freedom is really from the

[15:27] the illusion of the idea of yourself. So

[15:29] real freedom to me is when you get to a

[15:31] place where you've got nothing to prove,

[15:32] nothing to hide, and nothing to want

[15:34] for, right? But if you really unpack

[15:37] that, there's quite a lot in that,

[15:38] right? You got nothing to prove. How

[15:39] many of you really being honest know

[15:41] that at some level in your life, you

[15:42] have things to prove, right? Like

[15:45] whether it's to your parents, whether

[15:46] it's to prove them right, prove them

[15:48] wrong, prove yourself lovable, prove

[15:49] yourself worthy, it's certainly in the

[15:51] workplace, you got to prove your worth

[15:53] to contain, you know, the the security

[15:55] or the illusion of security of a

[15:56] paycheck, right? How many of you want

[15:58] for things?

[16:00] It's pretty [ __ ] happy golucky crowd

[16:02] here. Apparently, they've all hit

[16:05] contentment. They're like, I don't want

[16:06] for anything. I am peace. [laughter]

[16:09] >> Honestly, not know.

[16:10] >> No one can steal this idea. Okay, this

[16:12] is all like NDA stuff. Like, one of the

[16:14] t-shirts I'm going to create is called

[16:16] feel my peace. [laughter]

[16:18] P. Come on. P E A C E. Oh, just [ __ ]

[16:22] filthy. [laughter] Feel my peace. I

[16:24] mean, like, isn't that an invitation

[16:26] from freedom?

[16:27] Okay,

[16:30] too soon. Didn't Andre's like, "Why the

[16:32] [ __ ] did I invite this guy?" [laughter]

[16:35] >> This is freedom. Do you see? I'm like,

[16:37] it's a demonstration.

[16:39] So, not wanting for anything is that I'm

[16:41] beyond desire. And and wanting is it's

[16:44] nuance, right? Most people's wanting is

[16:46] reactive. Usually, what you want is not

[16:48] what you want. It's in reaction to what

[16:50] you don't want. So, then you're being

[16:52] informed by a history that still

[16:54] somewhat defines you. Most people go to

[16:55] the gym in January because they want to

[16:56] get in shape, which is really a reaction

[16:58] to the diagnosis they got from a doctor

[17:00] that if you keep on the track, you're

[17:02] right, you're going to be on statins and

[17:03] beta blockers and whatever. So, I got to

[17:05] get away from that. So, that's not

[17:07] wanting. That's like trying to escape.

[17:09] So, there's no freedom there either,

[17:11] right? So, and then nothing to hide is

[17:14] really the self-expression. So proving,

[17:15] wanting and hiding, if you look at those

[17:17] three that I just shared, it's not the

[17:19] full picture of freedom, but hopefully

[17:20] you get a semblance of it, which is

[17:22] fundamentally real freedom at the sort

[17:25] of real spiritual level is the ultimate

[17:28] end of the identity of yourself that was

[17:31] a misnomer that you have become defined

[17:34] by for decades. So you know, the death

[17:36] of the ego sounds very dramatic and I

[17:38] think it's something people try to do,

[17:40] but the person who's trying to kill the

[17:41] ego is the ego. So it gets very

[17:42] slippery, right? You see that? Someone

[17:45] got it. Anyway, [laughter]

[17:47] so really that's freedom in a nutshell.

[17:50] Oh, this isn't No. Anyway, that's all I

[17:52] don't know Austin Powers fans. This is a

[17:55] nutshell.

[17:56] [laughter]

[17:58] Sort of group is

[18:01] the best. They're the best ever.

[18:02] >> Yes. They're the best.

[18:04] >> Um, great. Okay, so

[18:06] >> hey, we're all free. All good. All good.

[18:08] >> Are we done here?

[18:09] >> Freedom check. What else do we want?

[18:11] [laughter]

[18:12] some cake. I don't know.

[18:15] >> Um,

[18:17] >> so you've been doing this work for a

[18:18] while.

[18:19] >> Yeah.

[18:19] >> Like you said, maybe 35 years plus.

[18:22] >> Yeah.

[18:22] >> And you had a a few potent experiences

[18:25] where this became experiential, right?

[18:27] Because and the way that you describe

[18:29] insight in the path of Janai yoga

[18:31] especially is that you can examine all

[18:33] these things through the lens of the

[18:35] intellect and it can get you close but

[18:37] it can't get you there

[18:39] >> and until the moment where insight

[18:40] arrives and the insight becomes

[18:43] self-evident in your experience. It

[18:45] doesn't need to be taught from the

[18:46] external in it becomes

[18:48] >> just what is in your experience. Um

[18:51] would you share a bit about like the

[18:53] first kind of pop into this insight

[18:55] where you saw the way that you were um

[18:58] chasing these things that you said you

[19:01] wanted but really avoiding things that

[19:02] you didn't want.

[19:03] >> For sure. I mean there's been a series

[19:05] of like I would say

[19:08] um pretty significant stories awakenings

[19:11] or like revelations right understanding

[19:14] that I'd never had before. And so I

[19:16] would say that like the first was about

[19:17] 26 years ago uh when I just turned 10.

[19:20] Um [snorts]

[19:21] [laughter]

[19:22] u and I'd gone it was on the back of a

[19:24] breakup

[19:25] and it was for my frame of reference in

[19:29] my experience of relationships it was at

[19:32] the time the most significant and so as

[19:35] a puppy you know young 20some year old I

[19:38] felt like oh this could be the one right

[19:41] sort of reinforced by society and you

[19:43] complete me and all the [ __ ] that we

[19:44] hear all the time right so for me there

[19:47] was an inordinate amount of significance

[19:49] because of the way that I was relating

[19:51] to this person, which then because of

[19:53] the significance when we place something

[19:55] into an arena that it feels like it's in

[19:59] incredibly valuable to us, not in a bad

[20:01] way, but we often we we we relocate

[20:05] resources in a way that's um it's not

[20:08] commensurate with like its real value.

[20:10] Meaning like in plain language like I

[20:12] was giving all my attention to her

[20:14] because of my default belief that she

[20:16] was the one. Does that make sense? Like

[20:18] so what happened was you know I was the

[20:21] perfect boyfriend like but it was a

[20:24] curated perfect boyfriend right meaning

[20:27] that I would consider myself to be a

[20:29] very loving affectionate kind generous

[20:30] guy I've never shouted at anyone I've

[20:33] never cheated I you know on paper I

[20:34] check all the boxes but I became Peter

[20:37] plus because the plus was the belief

[20:39] that being me was insufficient wasn't

[20:42] wasn't enough to be me and because of

[20:43] the significance that I saw in the

[20:45] relationship it's like I got to be me

[20:47] and then some right can everyone relate

[20:49] to that can you see perhaps in your own

[20:50] life where there's arenas that you do

[20:52] that and so what happened is like I say

[20:55] that fear will break its own heart right

[20:56] so the mechanism that drives the extra

[20:59] sort of attention and resources that you

[21:01] apply to something is really being

[21:03] driven by an underlying concern in my

[21:05] case unbeknownst to me I was scared of

[21:07] her leaving me right now no one would

[21:10] begrudge me that because those of you

[21:11] who don't know my story my mom died when

[21:13] I was seven my dad died when I was 17

[21:15] and my dad particularly my mom had been

[21:17] sick for a while. She had cancer. But my

[21:18] dad went to work one day. He worked on

[21:19] the boats from England to Belgium,

[21:20] England to France. Boat capsized. Almost

[21:23] 200 people died. Like a significant

[21:25] tragedy that was obviously not

[21:27] predicted. So there was a serious degree

[21:30] of like trauma even at I was 17 and um

[21:34] so unbeknownst to me at that moment

[21:36] these defining moments to start to

[21:38] curate the evidence for why I should be

[21:40] a human who orients around the fear of

[21:42] loss. It wasn't until like 10 years

[21:44] later or whatever that I met this person

[21:46] for whom that gets reignited. That's the

[21:49] beauty of life, right? One of my more

[21:50] popular quotes as I say, life will

[21:52] present you with people and

[21:53] circumstances to reveal where you're not

[21:55] free, right? So, if you really get that,

[21:57] we look at life as like, oh, I hate

[21:59] this. This person pisses me off. But the

[22:01] reorientation from my perspective is no,

[22:03] that's an opportunity to see where

[22:04] you're saying you can't be with

[22:06] something. If you understand that you're

[22:08] inordinately powerful, there's nothing

[22:10] that you can't handle, then you're no

[22:12] longer triggered, which is obviously a

[22:13] very popular word here in LA, but it's

[22:16] really that you're you're being offered

[22:17] the opportunity to see where you haven't

[22:19] yet garnered your sense of own true

[22:21] freedom. Does that make sense? So, in

[22:23] this relationship, I was playing the

[22:26] role of the perfect boyfriend, which was

[22:27] a coping strategy built on top of a

[22:29] foundation of fear of loss, right? So,

[22:32] makes sense, right? If I'm scared of

[22:34] loss, what do you do? you try to

[22:36] nurture, cherish, you know, hold on to

[22:39] as tightly as you can but subtly not be

[22:42] too much all all the nuances of being

[22:44] human. And as I said, fear will break

[22:46] its own heart. So eventually the best

[22:47] thing that happened to me is that she

[22:49] did leave. You know, she came up to me

[22:51] one day, literally this was, you know,

[22:52] we'd had a beautiful journey. We

[22:54] traveled around the world at the time. I

[22:55] was training a couple of actors. So I

[22:57] was getting to travel. She came with me.

[22:59] We had a great time. I didn't think

[23:00] there was anything wrong. And she said,

[23:01] you know, I've got to go. Your love is

[23:03] suffocating.

[23:05] And whilst I could understand that, you

[23:07] know, what she was sort of pointing

[23:08] towards, I really didn't think it was a

[23:10] [ __ ] problem when most people are

[23:11] struggling to get love. I'm like,

[23:12] really? So, what you're basically saying

[23:13] is, I've got too much love. Like, I

[23:15] really I'm a bit confused here. But

[23:17] anyway, um so sure enough, she left. I

[23:19] fell apart. Fast track, you know, like

[23:21] probably six, seven weeks later. We

[23:23] spoke for a few weeks, logistics, send

[23:25] this, you know, I've left this, do that,

[23:27] whatever. Um, and then I really went

[23:29] through sort of a right of passage, you

[23:30] know, sort of dark knights of the soul

[23:32] where uh I was incessantly asking these

[23:34] questions of like where is she? Is she

[23:36] dating someone else? Will I see her

[23:38] again? Will I find love like her again?

[23:39] All of these sort of desperate men doing

[23:41] desperate things. I wasn't doing

[23:43] desperate things, but I was certainly

[23:44] having desperate thoughts. And for

[23:46] whatever reasons, the way that my mind

[23:48] is orchestrated or call it karma or dumb

[23:50] luck, you know, I was sitting in a rent

[23:52] control apartment with everything that I

[23:53] possessed in this small room at my IKEA

[23:56] desk. And um I suddenly on the back of

[23:59] these questions got the answer to all

[24:01] three of like where is she? Will I see

[24:03] her again? Is she dating someone? And

[24:04] will I find love like that again? And it

[24:06] was three words. It was I don't know.

[24:10] And it was so categorically simple

[24:12] because it was just the truth, right? It

[24:14] was nothing to do with my subjective

[24:16] desire to try and figure out what was

[24:17] going to happen, which is a mechanism to

[24:20] seek security, right? Like I I'm It was

[24:22] my ego trying to know that it was going

[24:23] to be okay. And I was like, I don't

[24:26] know. I I don't know where she is. I

[24:27] don't know if she's dating anyone. I

[24:28] don't know if I'll see her again. And I

[24:30] don't know if I'll find love like that

[24:31] again. And the freedom that cascaded

[24:34] through my body was something that I

[24:35] didn't know was possible. And at that

[24:38] same moment, the revelation about the

[24:39] nature of life, the future, the life

[24:41] itself as a paradigm that we live in is

[24:44] uncertainty. That's its nature. Just

[24:45] like if I put my hand over the flames,

[24:47] like we all know that that's going to be

[24:49] hot. It's intrinsic, right? It's not

[24:51] going to suddenly in a week be, oh,

[24:52] that's funny. Fire became cold, right?

[24:54] Like it's hot. Life is uncertain. And at

[24:57] that moment, I recognize the paradox of

[24:59] what it is to be human, which is in the

[25:00] survival mechanism that we talked about.

[25:02] you're always trying to calculate,

[25:04] figure out, you know, predict, speculate

[25:07] what's going to happen as a means of

[25:08] survival. And so that was my means built

[25:10] on top of a deep foundation of the fear

[25:12] of loss. But at that moment, I

[25:14] reconciled everything. I was like, we

[25:16] never [ __ ] know. I didn't know that I

[25:18] was going to have this conversation. I

[25:19] mean, I know I was going to show up. I

[25:20] didn't know what I was going to say. I

[25:21] didn't know the questions he was going

[25:22] to ask. And really, it gave me this

[25:25] sense of like profound freedom and

[25:27] confidence that life is uncertain. And

[25:29] for the first time in my life, not only

[25:31] did I see that, but I was totally okay

[25:33] with it. I no longer had Can you

[25:36] imagine? Just try and find that in

[25:37] yourself right now. If you can really be

[25:38] honest, like what are you struggling

[25:40] with in life right now? I guarantee you

[25:42] underneath it there is some mechanism

[25:44] where you're wanting to know what

[25:45] happens. Yes. Can you see that? Can you

[25:48] find that? Are your kids going to be

[25:49] okay? Are they going to find love? Are

[25:51] they, you know, going to avoid drugs in

[25:53] school? Like whatever. If you're

[25:54] parents, are your is your relationship

[25:56] going to work out? Are your parents in

[25:57] hospice right now? are they going to be

[25:59] cured? Like whatever you're dealing

[26:00] with, am I going to keep my job? And am

[26:02] I going to make money? Are my stocks

[26:04] going to be okay? Like it's this

[26:05] constant incessant trying to figure out.

[26:07] And that to me is one of the biggest

[26:09] precursors to sickness that we see with

[26:11] people, the disease, the absence of

[26:13] ease. And so that was the biggest

[26:16] moment. Like from that moment I

[26:17] literally stepped into a new world,

[26:19] which is why I created 2.0 in a world

[26:21] where I realized the mechanism by which

[26:23] humans are driven is itself an incessant

[26:26] journey of perpetual trying to survive

[26:28] and I just I I was done. So, you know,

[26:32] if you're into that kind of [ __ ] like

[26:34] it's pretty cool. I recommend it. So,

[26:37] that was the big moment. And then

[26:38] there's obviously been refinements along

[26:39] the way, like there's certain things

[26:40] that have still come up as I've grown

[26:42] and evolved. You know, there's sort of

[26:44] it's like Michelangelo when he was asked

[26:46] how did he create this beautiful

[26:47] sculpture of David, right, out of a big

[26:48] lump of marble. He said, "I didn't.

[26:50] David was already in there. I chipped

[26:51] away everything that wasn't David."

[26:53] Which is a beautiful metaphor. So for

[26:54] me, these were big blocks, right? But I

[26:57] would say now in the work that I do, and

[26:58] I've known Andre for years, you know,

[27:00] we've had beautiful conversations on and

[27:02] off air. It was really now I feel like

[27:04] I'm working on eyelashes, you know, all

[27:06] the subtle nuances around the nostrils

[27:08] and like there's always stuff to, you

[27:10] know, I'm not walking on water yet, so

[27:12] there's still some [ __ ] to do, you know?

[27:14] [laughter]

[27:15] >> Can you see me? I'm supposed to be

[27:16] invisible right now.

[27:18] not working right. [laughter]

[27:20] >> Yeah. So that was that was a very

[27:22] profound moment and and and to speak to

[27:24] quantum and understanding the unity

[27:26] consciousness that I'm teaching how

[27:28] everything is interconnected in the

[27:30] universe that people live right now as a

[27:32] separate entity trying to survive. And

[27:34] one of my quotes again I say as long as

[27:36] you think you're a separate self you

[27:37] have no choice but to survive. Right?

[27:39] It's it's there's no choice underlined.

[27:41] But in unity conscious when you're

[27:42] connected to everything what was so

[27:44] profound is within 15 minutes of me

[27:46] having this revelation my phone rings

[27:48] and she calls me and I haven't spoken to

[27:50] her for 6 weeks right that the first

[27:52] week was just desperate waiting hoping

[27:54] to hear like okay let's try it again

[27:56] let's get counseling I'm coming back

[27:57] something right that would pate the fear

[27:59] of the loss and the devastation like was

[28:01] all dramatic and ego I wasn't dramatic

[28:03] but the energy is and at that moment she

[28:06] calls and she couldn't be further away I

[28:08] was here in LA when I lived here and she

[28:11] was literally on it was the antipote.

[28:12] She was in Australia. So, talk about

[28:15] entanglement theory, right? Cuz I

[28:16] realized at the moment, unbeknownst to

[28:18] her, she's just crying and she's saying,

[28:19] "I miss you so much." And what I got in

[28:22] that moment is I'm finally available to

[28:24] her. Cuz before I was in a relationship

[28:26] with my fear, not her. And if you really

[28:29] get that, that's a very profound

[28:30] distinction that most people aren't in

[28:32] relationships.

[28:33] They're in a relationship. They're in

[28:35] the form of it. Married, partner,

[28:37] girlfriend, fiance, boyfriend, whatever.

[28:39] But to be in relationship is to be in

[28:41] harmony with life itself. And at that

[28:43] moment I realized I'd never actually

[28:45] been in a relationship energetically

[28:47] fully intimate with her because I was

[28:50] too preoccupied with the concern that

[28:52] she might leave even though she was

[28:53] there. That's the insanity of being

[28:54] human, right? So that was pretty cool.

[28:58] Sorry. Am I boring you?

[29:01] >> No. So beautiful, man. Thank you for

[29:03] sharing.

[29:03] >> Yeah, of course. the uh that insight you

[29:06] shared around your own process of

[29:09] gaining awareness to a blind spot of how

[29:11] you were being in relationship with this

[29:13] >> idea of yourself and the therefore the

[29:16] behavioral compensations that stem from

[29:18] that.

[29:18] >> Yeah. is at in the moment so painful but

[29:22] also on the other side of the coin so

[29:24] liberating because you realize how

[29:26] you're living life through this

[29:27] narration of self and this lens of

[29:30] identity that is ultimately

[29:32] disempowering and and not supporting you

[29:35] to make real contact with the people in

[29:37] life. Um

[29:39] >> the uh and this is like one of my

[29:42] strongest values you know to see clearly

[29:44] what does it mean in life to see life as

[29:46] it is.

[29:46] >> Yeah. and not just through my own color

[29:49] tinted glasses, right? We're always

[29:51] going to just like our perceptual system

[29:53] is set up as a human being to see life a

[29:56] certain way, right? An octopus has a

[29:58] completely different experience because

[29:59] of its sensory system. A bat has a

[30:01] completely different

[30:02] >> experience internally. What is that

[30:04] internal qualia like? and the way that

[30:06] you you beautifully articulate the way

[30:08] that these behavioral mechanisms and

[30:10] compensations are set up often early on

[30:12] in childhood um set a framework and a

[30:16] stage to then examine what is the

[30:18] purpose of them.

[30:19] >> Mhm.

[30:19] >> Which in many ways you've shared is to

[30:22] what become be feel safe fundamentally.

[30:26] Yeah. Your nervous system is like the

[30:27] primordial imperative of any nervous

[30:29] system which is what we're really

[30:30] relating to right like ultimately you're

[30:33] feeling the experiences of your own

[30:34] chemistry um and your own perception

[30:37] right there's events circumstance what

[30:39] we call the three-dimensional reality

[30:40] but then ultimately what you're

[30:42] experiencing is the way you relate to it

[30:43] your interpretation of it so that

[30:45] nervous system's primordial imperative

[30:48] is yeah to keep you alive

[30:50] >> and you just say primordial imperative

[30:53] is two O's primordial

[30:56] >> [laughter]

[30:56] >> So, in many ways, you see, like that's

[30:58] kind of the game we're here to play.

[31:01] >> Yes.

[31:02] >> Uh cosmic hide-and-seek, a phrase we

[31:04] both like.

[31:05] >> Yes.

[31:05] >> And um now

[31:09] we've been doing all sorts of things,

[31:11] right? We've been doing breath work as a

[31:13] collective. We've been having so many

[31:14] connection exercises and things have

[31:16] come up, right? Patterns

[31:18] >> that you didn't realize were running the

[31:19] show to a certain degree. Yeah.

[31:21] >> And that moment of insight is beautiful.

[31:23] And what I feel like is so insight

[31:27] is the right environment to be present.

[31:30] >> And [clears throat] so for you, what do

[31:33] you think is the right environment that

[31:34] we can all cultivate in our life for

[31:37] these insights and for these

[31:38] realizations and the dissolution of self

[31:40] and the unhelpful structures in our

[31:43] identity to to be dissolved? um what is

[31:45] the environment that you set up in your

[31:47] life in the way that you live um in the

[31:49] way that you see things to be able to

[31:51] find these blind spots?

[31:54] So I would say if you're doing it as a

[31:55] conscious process is one word right you

[31:57] want to find a place that feels safe

[31:59] that's a conscious process unfortunately

[32:01] life doesn't work that gracefully

[32:02] typically it's going to be a traumatic

[32:04] experience right so you know when push

[32:06] comes to shove is usually like if we

[32:09] take just an everyday benign example

[32:11] which probably happened in the millions

[32:13] you know somewhere around the world

[32:14] somebody went to see a GP and they did

[32:17] their blood annual tests and they've got

[32:19] high cholesterol and so the doctor doing

[32:22] his job paid by big farmer

[32:24] you know his um for sake of not losing

[32:27] his license malpractice has to prescribe

[32:29] statins right this is the world that we

[32:31] sadly live in so that human being at

[32:34] that moment there's not sufficient

[32:36] trauma right so he's in a space trusted

[32:38] doctor white lab coat stethoscope blah

[32:40] blah blah here go to your CVS and get

[32:43] your drugs right so and there may be

[32:45] hopefully if the doctor has any sort of

[32:47] sort of sense of integrity there may be

[32:49] a you know he's not allowed to but

[32:50] perhaps say hey and you might want to

[32:52] just cut out the in-n-outs and and

[32:53] drinking and maybe change a bit of diet

[32:54] and lifestyle. But otherwise, let's say

[32:57] the same guy goes back in two or three

[32:58] years. Cholesterol continues to go up.

[33:00] We've got to change your formula. We got

[33:02] to up the drugs, right? There's a linear

[33:04] progression, which in this case is a

[33:05] degenerative process, but there's still

[33:07] not sufficient trauma in order for

[33:09] somebody to like really look at their

[33:11] own patterns. So, this is sort of the

[33:13] less ideal not curated route, right?

[33:16] Which is eventually, just to take this

[33:18] hypothetical further, the same guy five

[33:20] years from now has a heart attack.

[33:23] There's been signs in Ayurveda which is

[33:25] one of the things that I teach where you

[33:27] have six stages of disease. Stage five

[33:29] is really when people go and see a

[33:30] doctor right like you you know you are

[33:33] fundamentally at the 85th percentile of

[33:35] like the whole process right if you

[33:36] become sufficiently aware and sensitive

[33:38] to your own body. Those subtle signs at

[33:40] the beginning of accumulation

[33:42] aggravation are the things you want to

[33:44] pay attention to. But for most people

[33:45] they need a big you know 2x4 around the

[33:48] face to get the wakeup call. So the

[33:50] heart attack is perhaps hopefully

[33:52] sufficient for him to say, "Holy [ __ ] I

[33:54] really got to make some changes." So

[33:56] that's one of the ways, but really let's

[33:58] focus on the former just because of the

[33:59] current audience is you just want to

[34:01] find a safe space, right? Where you can

[34:03] feel sufficiently calm, relaxed, and

[34:06] accepted that you're no longer in the

[34:09] the sort of default setting of self

[34:11] consciousness, which is really

[34:13] self-preservation.

[34:15] Cuz if you're in any form of defense,

[34:17] like people say, "Dude, like you must

[34:18] see patterns everywhere." And I'm like,

[34:19] "Yes, but like the Matrix, like I'm sure

[34:22] everyone in here has seen The Matrix

[34:23] multiple times." You know, everybody has

[34:26] the potential to be an agent, right?

[34:28] Does anyone understand the reference I'm

[34:30] making? Right. So, when Neo or any of

[34:32] the kind of free souls are running away

[34:34] from agents,

[34:36] you walking, there's one scene I

[34:38] remember and most people, you know, can

[34:40] remember it because it's quite dramatic.

[34:42] He's running through a farmers market or

[34:43] something and some guy's on the phone

[34:45] and then you know you see him as a

[34:47] normal person on the phone but then

[34:49] because Neo ran past the guy suddenly

[34:51] becomes an agent right and he's trying

[34:53] to catch him or he walks he runs through

[34:55] this apartment as a woman cutting bread

[34:56] with a knife and then you cut back and

[34:59] she's an agent throwing the knife right

[35:01] you following the scenes. So that that

[35:04] aspect to me why the film is so

[35:06] brilliant cuz it's three decades old. is

[35:07] crazy but really everybody has the

[35:09] capacity to be that energy of

[35:12] self-preservation.

[35:13] So in any kind of environment where you

[35:15] feel self-conscious and even at you know

[35:18] stages of feeling threatened to access

[35:21] that is is not possible. So curated

[35:24] chosen talk to people you know love you

[35:28] and that's where you can start to be

[35:29] sufficiently vulnerable. Otherwise, it's

[35:32] going to be the more you know, tragic,

[35:35] dramatic, suffering induced way of

[35:37] wakeup call. But, you know, now I think

[35:40] most people with these conversations,

[35:41] especially through this this guy's

[35:43] beautiful show podcast, all the

[35:44] conversations people are becoming aware

[35:46] of, you know, it's like we're getting

[35:48] understanding. We're getting these

[35:50] insights. We're like, "Wait a minute,

[35:51] that actually resonates." my mastermind

[35:53] I do like I just did this afternoon

[35:55] 3-month program people's minds are just

[35:57] being popped left right and center even

[35:59] though I'm not talking to them because

[36:00] they're in a safe space and they're like

[36:02] holy [ __ ] like okay the details it's not

[36:04] my uncle that was abusive or my dad and

[36:06] mom that fought but I can relate to that

[36:09] same feeling of not being safe or not

[36:11] being wanted. So hopefully through

[36:13] inspiration you can start to access this

[36:16] what I call 2.0 in a world on the other

[36:17] side of the constraints. But they're

[36:19] they're typically the two avenues, you

[36:20] know, either you have some sort of

[36:22] beautiful community like this, which is

[36:24] why these events are so cool because I

[36:26] don't know what kind of conversations

[36:27] you're having, but hopefully you're with

[36:29] people who are giving you the safe space

[36:32] for you to tell your story sufficiently,

[36:34] profoundly, honestly, authentically that

[36:36] you can find something even in your own

[36:38] declaration, right? It's like, "Holy

[36:40] [ __ ] I feel that about myself forever."

[36:43] And maybe you get a good reflection of

[36:44] like, "Yeah, I can relate to that." Like

[36:46] and then you start to what I say

[36:48] investigate the validity of it which is

[36:50] like is it really true that you're not

[36:51] good enough? Like well my brother was a

[36:53] better athlete. Okay, but does that mean

[36:54] that you're not good enough? Right? So

[36:56] that that's the ideal space but

[36:58] otherwise you just got to you know face

[37:01] the music and trauma [laughter] trauma

[37:05] like that was my first talk at a yoga

[37:07] studio like you know it's like 12 people

[37:09] showed up. This is about 20 years ago

[37:10] and I think they meant they thought it

[37:12] was going to be yoga. So anyway,

[37:15] um but I I shared like somebody said

[37:16] like how do how do you get to this place

[37:18] where you're just so like free and at

[37:20] peace? I said really the best way is I

[37:22] hope you fall madly in love and then

[37:23] they break up with you and you're

[37:24] devastated.

[37:26] [laughter]

[37:27] So there's that route too. So if any of

[37:29] you are madly in love, there's hope for

[37:31] you yet. [laughter]

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[38:35] the show.

[38:38] the way you describe the the blind

[38:40] spots, you know, it's it's funny because

[38:41] right these are like the perceptual

[38:43] systems, the identity systems that we're

[38:45] looking through and as and so it's so

[38:48] easy to see the faults in others. It's

[38:50] so easy to point out other people's

[38:52] patterns. So much more difficult to see

[38:54] our own patterns.

[38:56] >> Yeah.

[38:56] >> And I I've called you in moments too,

[38:58] you know, where usually it's gets

[39:00] revealed in moments of uh definitely

[39:02] relationship, romantic relationship. um

[39:05] any like the the mirror that

[39:08] relationships provide in general really

[39:10] allow this material to come up into the

[39:12] surface because you see where you're

[39:13] stuck, right? People will prevent you

[39:15] with people and circumstances.

[39:16] >> It's a river when you're not free. Yeah.

[39:18] >> Nice. I love when we finish each other's

[39:19] sentences.

[39:20] >> We're like a couple. I thought we were

[39:21] getting married.

[39:22] >> Super disappointed. But

[39:23] >> we're break up and you'll be more free

[39:25] >> and I'm completely liberated again.

[39:29] >> [laughter]

[39:31] >> So,

[39:35] >> can we just have a moment? We have a lot

[39:37] of this. He gets like this when he gets

[39:39] embarrassed. [laughter]

[39:41] >> I'm blushing. I'm blushing.

[39:43] [clears throat]

[39:45] >> Um I know I I I've appreciated the digs

[39:48] at uh LA throughout. Welcome. Funny

[39:50] enough, a lot of people from here flew

[39:53] all over the globe. We got Columbia,

[39:55] Sweden, Transylvania. Did you even know

[39:57] that was a place? That's a real place

[39:59] with Dracula.

[40:00] >> Yes, it's real. It's in New York.

[40:01] >> Is real like the like Bigfoot?

[40:03] >> Yeah, something like that.

[40:04] >> Bigfoot here. [laughter]

[40:06] >> Dracula's here.

[40:07] >> Wow. Colombia. Who's here from Colombia?

[40:10] >> Colia.

[40:12] >> Oh, okay. Right. Okay. At least you're

[40:13] male. We'll be fine. [laughter]

[40:18] Um, and so, you know, I I say that to

[40:21] show there's obviously real commitment

[40:22] and devotion to to doing this work, to

[40:25] fundamentally find a community with

[40:27] aligned senses of values and to discover

[40:30] more freedom internally in your life.

[40:31] So, that that commitment to show up and

[40:33] say yes is beautiful and it's one thing.

[40:38] I think I know I've struggled in my past

[40:40] with vulnerability in general as an

[40:43] umbrella like showing imperfection,

[40:46] showing the part that is yeah,

[40:48] >> not put together, showing the part, you

[40:50] know, that um doesn't have it all

[40:52] figured out.

[40:53] >> And we all have our own versions of

[40:54] whatever that patterning is.

[40:56] >> Yeah.

[40:57] >> Um why is it so scary at times to be

[41:00] vulnerable often actually truly vulner

[41:02] like vulnerable moments across the

[41:04] board? Why is why is that tough?

[41:07] I I mean first of all I love this guy

[41:09] right like I've worked with him as I

[41:11] said periodically we've been friends and

[41:12] like even for him to pose this question

[41:14] to me is so beautiful like right because

[41:16] the question itself is an expression of

[41:19] h can you feel that like is that like

[41:21] like is that something you're

[41:22] recognizing like so it's so beautiful

[41:25] because and this is why I love love

[41:27] right because going back to your

[41:28] previous question about what is the

[41:30] environment that we can curate or that

[41:32] we hope to have is safety so

[41:34] vulnerability is really like it's where

[41:36] you're for a minute, for a second, for

[41:38] for hopefully a little bit longer,

[41:40] you're dropping the mask that is your

[41:41] perceived protection mechanism. And so

[41:44] it's scary because deep in our DNA, I

[41:46] mean, if you look at us in terms of

[41:48] certainly us here, you know, we haven't

[41:50] been around that long, right? Like it

[41:52] wasn't that long ago that our DNA was

[41:54] truly wired for biological survival,

[41:57] right? What I'm talking about at

[41:58] survival is really psychological. It's

[42:00] identity. It's the curated ideas of

[42:02] yourself. But really biological survival

[42:05] was not that long ago, right? And so

[42:07] when you are experiencing the sematic

[42:11] visceral sense of vulnerability,

[42:14] it occurs as a potential death,

[42:17] which is why like, you know, I actually

[42:19] love the topic of death. Like as happy

[42:21] golucky as I am, like I think it's

[42:22] awesome. Like I'm always telling people

[42:24] the access to true life is to constantly

[42:26] die to the idea of yourself. So

[42:28] vulnerability is on the precipice of a

[42:31] form of death. And unless you're in a

[42:33] container that feels sufficiently safe,

[42:35] it can feel like fatalistic because it

[42:37] kind of is. So that's why it's really

[42:40] we're wired one of the p again

[42:42] primordial. Um

[42:45] >> now every time I say that word I'm

[42:47] >> cuz I'm a bit nervous about it now. So

[42:50] >> he makes fun of me. So I'm going to be

[42:52] vulnerable.

[42:53] >> Yeah. [laughter]

[42:55] >> So that sense of belonging is so

[42:58] hardwired, right? It's really is an

[43:00] energetic reflection of the underlying

[43:02] consciousness that is unity. But when

[43:04] you're looking through the lens of

[43:05] separation, it doesn't feel like that.

[43:07] So you're craving the unity that's

[43:09] always there. Just like hate to, you

[43:11] know, break the illusion, you're always

[43:13] part of source. You're always part of

[43:14] the gang. You don't need an American

[43:16] Express black card. You're in the

[43:17] humanity gang, right? And then there's

[43:19] the human part, which is so visceral. It

[43:22] feels like, yeah, but my neighbor

[43:23] doesn't like me. My mom's and my dad,

[43:25] they said that I wasn't wanted. I was a

[43:27] mistake. the things that kids hear like

[43:28] are really painful, right? And so you're

[43:31] really up against the the the the

[43:35] prop the propensity to want to be loved

[43:38] but looking from behind a mechanism that

[43:41] you've developed to be loved, right?

[43:43] Does that make sense? I know it's

[43:44] subtle. We want to be loved and accepted

[43:46] but the mechanism by which we try to

[43:48] garner that is itself a pretense. And so

[43:51] that's why the whole thing is so

[43:52] fragile. So when you start to really let

[43:54] that go and you're really really

[43:57] available perhaps for some people for

[43:59] the very first time, it's [ __ ] scary,

[44:01] right? And that's okay. So, but it's

[44:04] also the access to true intimacy. Like

[44:06] again, I write quotes and this is how I,

[44:08] you know, my book and all the things

[44:10] that I'm working on. I say as soon as

[44:12] you're okay being vulnerable, you're no

[44:15] longer vulnerable.

[44:17] Again, it's one of these paradoxes,

[44:18] right? Those who don't want to be

[44:21] vulnerable are vulnerable because you're

[44:23] hiding something. Going back to the

[44:24] quote he asked about freedom, right?

[44:25] When you got nothing to hide approval or

[44:26] want for like so if you got nothing to

[44:28] hide, you can be like for me I feel, you

[44:30] know, and again I'm not saying that I'm

[44:32] like this God's gift to like freedom,

[44:34] but I feel like at the bow of the boat

[44:35] of that for society, there may be some

[44:38] blind spots that are still going to be

[44:39] revealed in me and I'm happy for those

[44:41] to come to the surface, but otherwise I

[44:43] feel like there's nothing for me to

[44:44] hide. You could ask the most intimate

[44:46] questions of me, you know, and if

[44:47] they're not inappropriate and I'm

[44:48] disrespecting other people's like, you

[44:51] know, confidentiality, I'll share. It's

[44:53] like, what are you going to think of me?

[44:54] You know, it's like I the only thing

[44:56] that can hurt me is what I think of me.

[44:58] You're entitled to your opinion. So that

[45:00] tr that's true vulnerability, right?

[45:02] Which is really fundamentally it's a

[45:04] journey to true self-acceptance.

[45:07] So that's why it can be hard because

[45:08] vulnerability is on the other side of

[45:10] you not yet accepting yourself. You're

[45:12] outsourcing acceptance. You're you're

[45:14] hoping they accept you, but as soon as

[45:17] you're okay with you, then vulnerability

[45:18] leaves the building, right? Do do you

[45:21] follow? Because if you're okay with all

[45:22] of you, warts and all. There's no one

[45:24] here that's perfect. I hate to [ __ ]

[45:26] burst your bubble, right? Like, we're

[45:28] all flawed. We're all [ __ ] up. But if

[45:30] you're okay with that, then we got

[45:32] nothing to hide. That's the beauty of

[45:34] humanity. Like, you know, again, when I

[45:36] work with so many of the best performers

[45:37] in the world, and so many of these guys

[45:39] and girls who are paid millions of

[45:41] dollars to perform, one of their biggest

[45:42] obstacles is the expectation that

[45:45] they're some of the best in the world.

[45:46] And for that reason, they forget their

[45:48] humanity. One of my MLB guys, he he won.

[45:51] It was like incredible. The ML MVP of

[45:54] the season, there's only two may I'm not

[45:56] going to get into baseball, but National

[45:58] League, American League, one guy from

[46:00] each side. Like, it's a it's the most

[46:01] extraordinary accolade a guy can get.

[46:03] And this season he won, but at the

[46:05] beginning he was scuffling. He was

[46:06] striking out. He was getting pissed off.

[46:08] He's frustrated. He's one of the best

[46:10] players. And I laughed and I said,

[46:11] "Dude, you know, there's there's just

[46:13] one thing that you're not making space

[46:15] for." And he's like, "What is it?" I

[46:17] said, "That you have the capacity to

[46:18] suck,

[46:20] right? Like you really can suck." And

[46:24] he's like, "But dude, like I've got one

[46:25] of the biggest [ __ ] contracts in the

[46:26] league. I I know, but that doesn't give

[46:28] up the fact that you have the capacity

[46:29] to suck." and like he didn't want to

[46:32] hear it to begin with, but as soon as he

[46:34] made space for it, one of my quotes, I

[46:35] say, "The final stage of becoming a

[46:37] superhero to embrace all of the parts of

[46:39] you that aren't."

[46:41] Right? Clark Kent has to be there with

[46:42] Superman, right? And so that's the

[46:46] vulnerability. If you can be okay with

[46:48] your humanity, cuz we're all I mean,

[46:50] God, we're all so great at the

[46:52] perfectionistic tendencies, the

[46:54] behavioral adaptations, the the

[46:56] portraying like Andre just, you know,

[46:58] was admitting about himself, right? like

[47:01] very manicured, put together, beautiful

[47:02] guy. And many of much of it is

[47:05] [laughter]

[47:06] could work on that a little bit. But

[47:07] anyway,

[47:12] >> that was

[47:13] >> Yeah, can't can't free all of you

[47:15] [ __ ] I'd be out of business.

[47:17] Anyway, so the point is like for him to

[47:20] be able to share that, right, is to

[47:22] recognize the tendency that we all have,

[47:24] especially in a city that is so oriented

[47:26] around appearance and beauty and

[47:27] perfectionism that that itself becomes

[47:30] like a mechanism for trying to, as I

[47:33] said earlier, curate, garner, and get

[47:35] love and acceptance, not realizing that

[47:37] mechanism itself is the very obstacle to

[47:39] it. Isn't that crazy? You know, I say,

[47:42] "Please never become perfect. You'll

[47:44] have no one to [ __ ] relate to."

[47:46] >> Yeah. No, no, but I'm going to get that

[47:47] right. It's like what? [laughter]

[47:50] Anyway, so I hope that made sense.

[47:53] >> I think I answered the question.

[47:54] >> Yeah, you answered something.

[47:55] >> I said something. I said something. I

[47:57] said a lot.

[47:58] >> Primordial.

[47:59] >> Felt good. How do you feel? You had

[48:00] primordial.

[48:01] >> Just fall back [laughter] to primordial.

[48:05] >> These uh these nuts. What?

[48:08] >> Oh,

[48:08] >> you stole the words. [laughter]

[48:10] >> I'm not going to even finish that. I

[48:11] know you're going to say nice.

[48:13] >> I was talking about baseball. That's the

[48:14] only game we play. Hey, [laughter] they

[48:16] were looking for you. Who? These nuts.

[48:17] Anyway, boys in locker rooms. Anyway,

[48:20] whatever. Sorry, ladies.

[48:24] >> Uh,

[48:24] >> these what?

[48:25] >> Love you, Peter. [laughter]

[48:27] >> Love you. Love, lovely, lovely, lovely,

[48:29] lovely.

[48:32] [laughter]

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[49:34] [laughter]

[49:36] I find it really fascinating like these

[49:39] defense mechanisms, right? We can walk

[49:41] around life so often

[49:44] defending this idea of us and I love

[49:46] that

[49:47] >> just that visual of someone coming up to

[49:49] you and saying all these negative words

[49:51] in English which you understand and you

[49:52] get offended but in pig Latin or Italian

[49:55] it just bounces right off because you're

[49:57] not making meaning with what's being

[49:58] said.

[49:59] >> Exactly. And so to me

[50:02] that is a really potent insight to also

[50:04] like we're when someone says something

[50:06] to us or we get triggered. Yeah. That

[50:09] instead of viewing these things as

[50:11] faults um or bugs in our hardware,

[50:14] software, nervous system as like literal

[50:16] opportunities to find more freedom and

[50:18] liberation because it's revealing

[50:19] something to you.

[50:20] >> Absolutely. It's a gift. Yeah.

[50:21] >> Yeah. So any other thoughts you have

[50:24] there on def like defense mechanisms and

[50:26] how we can pay attention to those and

[50:28] then perhaps we can we can get into some

[50:30] with the the crew.

[50:31] >> Yeah. So again, you know, quotes comes

[50:33] to mind because that's how I tend to

[50:35] channel insights. So I say other

[50:36] people's words

[50:38] can only upset you to the degree that

[50:41] you already believe them.

[50:43] Right? So beyond the, you know, perfect

[50:46] example, someone's speaking Latin,

[50:48] Chinese, or whatever, you don't

[50:49] understand, it doesn't resonate because

[50:50] there's no coherence between your view

[50:52] of yourself and that which you're

[50:54] hearing, like, which I think is so

[50:55] ironic cuz I know growing up, we would

[50:57] always hear the expression, "Sticks and

[50:58] stones will break my bones, but words

[50:59] will never hurt me." And all I ever

[51:01] [ __ ] see is people being hurt by

[51:02] words these days.

[51:04] So really again it comes down to your

[51:05] capacity to listen where I very early on

[51:08] in my revelation on the back of that

[51:10] story that I told you where I

[51:12] experienced true freedom for the first

[51:13] time. You know, I had a question that I

[51:16] would constantly orient myself around,

[51:18] which is can I be with this, right?

[51:20] Whatever was occurring like, you know,

[51:22] in a very very boring, mundane way that

[51:25] the neighbor parked the car in my spot,

[51:27] something every day boring, right? But

[51:28] or person cut you off in traffic. How

[51:30] many of you get upset, right? [ __ ] you.

[51:33] And then you become really evolved and

[51:34] you're like, you think you're really

[51:36] smart, right? Like, no, I'm just going

[51:37] to be nice. Same [ __ ] energy. You

[51:39] just become more manipulative, right?

[51:41] But really, you're not okay with it.

[51:42] You're being upset. So really, yeah,

[51:45] it's the invitation to constantly

[51:47] reframe life and triggers, if that's a

[51:50] word that people use, or wherever you

[51:52] get upset in lay terms. What is it that

[51:54] you're not recognizing about your own

[51:57] inherent ability to truly be with

[51:59] everything, right? Like I I I'm not

[52:01] religious, but I pull tenants from all

[52:02] religions. For me, what's what's coming

[52:05] to mind is when Jesus says, "Forgive

[52:06] them, Lord, they know not what they do."

[52:09] Advanced state of consciousness, right?

[52:11] literally nails being put through his

[52:12] hands and feet, but his orientation is

[52:15] love. Don't think I'm at that level yet,

[52:18] right? I, you know, if a mosquito lands

[52:20] on my neck right now, I'm probably like

[52:22] going to slap the [ __ ] out of that right

[52:23] now. So, point is like what can you be

[52:26] with and what can't you be with in life

[52:28] is a way to start to recognize where

[52:31] you're still quote unquote fragile,

[52:33] vulnerable, or living in a state of

[52:35] fear. My more poetic quotes I say fear

[52:38] is that fear your fears are the beacons

[52:40] that light your path to freedom. So if

[52:42] you can orient that way and say rather

[52:44] than fears as something that we escape

[52:46] which in today's society becomes

[52:48] increasingly easy right there it's like

[52:51] what can't you find as a substance a

[52:53] distraction the phone the Netflix the

[52:55] food the alcohol the weed the drugs that

[52:58] is a form of escaping and numbing

[53:00] suffering but if you understand just

[53:02] like physiological symptoms that I was

[53:04] saying earlier in the six stages of

[53:05] disease when you're subtly aware enough

[53:08] of your own absence or loss of perceived

[53:10] freedom then that's the gift to see and

[53:13] harness where you have yet to discover

[53:15] some of your own divinity. So that's the

[53:18] reorientation, right? Is to recognize I

[53:21] I find joy now. Like it might sound a

[53:24] little sadistic, but if I do come up

[53:26] against somewhere where I feel scared,

[53:28] worried, hurt, upset, fearful, to me,

[53:31] wo, it's gold, right? Because I know

[53:33] that freedom is on the other side of

[53:35] that. Like the the the subtitle of my

[53:38] book is discover the world of freedom,

[53:39] love and possibility on the other side

[53:42] of your subconscious limitations. So my

[53:45] work is not about solving problems. It's

[53:47] dissolution. It's a dissolving of

[53:49] whatever is in the way, you know, of the

[53:51] metaphorical spiritual six-pack, right?

[53:53] So that's the opportunity of fear is

[53:55] that really something's being revealed

[53:56] in you that is currently a constraint

[53:58] that is skewing your own understanding

[54:01] of your true divinity and your capacity

[54:03] to be with everything. So, does does

[54:05] that help you reorient? Can now some of

[54:07] you even look at your own circumstances

[54:09] in life and go, "Wait a minute. Here's a

[54:11] gift." Yeah. No.

[54:17] [laughter]

[54:18] I love the engagement.

[54:22] Uh [laughter]

[54:24] the uh it's I think what's really

[54:26] powerful is actually see it in action.

[54:28] >> Yeah. because it's one thing to say it

[54:31] and it's another thing to vulnerably

[54:33] share what a pattern is.

[54:36] >> And there's always this like beautiful

[54:39] flip and there's a moment when it hits

[54:41] and the insight hits of how it's been

[54:43] serving you and protecting you in a way

[54:45] that you can finally release once you

[54:47] see through.

[54:48] >> Yeah. So,

[54:50] it's a vulnerable ask, but if anybody

[54:53] has a

[54:56] pattern that keeps reoccurring in their

[54:58] life, a cycle that keeps coming back

[54:59] into their life, something they're

[55:00] struggling with, um, as opposed to a

[55:03] question, I would love if you could

[55:04] speak from your first person experience.

[55:07] If you just raise your hand and we'll

[55:09] pass you a mic.

[55:10] >> I believe you're the first. Is that who

[55:12] we got back there?

[55:14] >> Khalen.

[55:14] >> Khen.

[55:15] >> I don't bite. I'm I'm very loving. You

[55:17] want to maybe come o over here? Yeah,

[55:19] >> that'd be cool.

[55:21] >> I promise I won't hurt you more than

[55:23] you've already been hurting yourself.

[55:26] >> Oh, wow. This is the Dracula.

[55:28] >> Oh, okay. Here we go.

[55:30] >> Let's go. What you got? Bring out the

[55:33] fangs. Hi.

[55:35] >> Hi.

[55:35] >> What's your name?

[55:36] >> I'm Khen.

[55:37] >> Khen. Nice to meet you.

[55:38] >> Yeah. Talking about defense mechanism,

[55:41] the one that I that I my sword is my

[55:44] humor. and Andre has done an incredible

[55:47] job um and the other workshop uh to make

[55:52] me cry and feel all of my emotions that

[55:54] by the time I get to dinner I can only

[55:56] crack jokes.

[55:57] >> Okay.

[55:58] >> Um so here's the question. Yeah.

[56:00] >> Um

[56:05] >> there's part of me that is thriving in

[56:07] life. You know, I've changed something.

[56:09] I'm doing something that I'm more

[56:11] aligned with and like I finally feel

[56:14] that I'm I'm going in the right

[56:16] direction and the sale is behind me.

[56:18] >> Yeah.

[56:19] >> But I'm not there yet in terms of

[56:21] generating revenue, in terms of

[56:23] >> Right.

[56:24] >> So there's another part of me that is

[56:26] like still,

[56:28] >> you [clears throat] know, fighting for

[56:29] survival. There's there's I need to pay

[56:32] rent, right? Another job that I have,

[56:35] let's call it my Uber driver job. Mhm.

[56:38] >> Um, and that that Uber driver job is is

[56:43] is is

[56:45] the way it shows up is very compulsive.

[56:47] Like I I I need to make this money cuz

[56:48] otherwise I'm not going to

[56:50] >> I'm not going to pay rent.

[56:51] >> Yeah.

[56:52] >> And I [clears throat] want to do more of

[56:53] the other job that feels fun and aligned

[56:55] with me. Yeah.

[56:56] >> But like the practical reality is

[56:58] pushing me

[57:00] >> into the fear of how am I going to pay

[57:03] rent? like I need to I need to grind

[57:05] through this other job

[57:07] >> to be able to

[57:10] do this and and so I'm struggling two

[57:12] versions of me and like [clears throat]

[57:15] the the one the uber one is is kind of

[57:18] sort of pulling me down.

[57:20] >> Yeah.

[57:20] >> Um how can I

[57:25] Yeah. How can I let go of of this or

[57:29] like I don't know

[57:33] I want to do more of the other job. I

[57:35] want life to be easier. I don't want to

[57:37] struggle that much through life.

[57:38] >> Okay. [laughter]

[57:41] >> Reasonable.

[57:41] >> So, you're trying to tell me you're

[57:42] lazy. [laughter]

[57:44] >> On the contrary.

[57:46] >> No, I get it. So, first of all, thank

[57:48] you. So, like, who can relate to in your

[57:51] own world something akin to that, right?

[57:53] there's something that you're doing that

[57:54] you don't kind of like that in his terms

[57:57] pushes him into fear and then there's

[57:59] something that you're more passionate

[58:00] about someone some whatever right that's

[58:03] I would say a pretty everyday example

[58:06] so what's always the tell for me is the

[58:08] way that he speaks he started with that

[58:10] andre makes me cry now I was a joke I

[58:13] get the context

[58:14] >> it was true it was hard

[58:17] >> don't interrupt [laughter]

[58:20] >> not married yet I can [ __ ] call this

[58:22] whole thing

[58:24] Thank you, Andre. [laughter]

[58:26] >> Love you, my Dracula.

[58:30] >> So, what I hear immediately, cuz I want

[58:32] to take you through part of the process

[58:33] of what's going on in my mind. Would

[58:35] that be fascinating to see? So,

[58:40] I'll cut out the X-rated parts.

[58:42] So, already what I can hear is that very

[58:46] much to do with what I was explaining

[58:47] earlier, the 1.0 orientation is that How

[58:51] do you pronounce your name again? Sorry,

[58:52] >> Khen.

[58:53] >> Khen. Okay. So, Khen is very much in a

[58:56] very normal factory default setting of

[58:58] what it is to be a human, which he's

[59:00] outsourcing his experiences.

[59:03] He used language. Andre made me cry.

[59:06] Subtle, but most of you may like it. But

[59:08] that's what happened. But if you listen

[59:10] to the way he speaks, within the first 5

[59:12] seconds of him introducing himself, I

[59:14] know that he's under the impression that

[59:16] he feels the way he feels because of

[59:18] events.

[59:20] Does that make sense?

[59:22] Now, that's normal. That's how you, you

[59:23] know, it's the biggest illusion of being

[59:25] human is I feel the way I feel because,

[59:27] right, that because fill in the blank.

[59:29] Well, I'm depressed because I'm upset

[59:32] because my mom, my dad, whatever,

[59:34] they're having an argument. So,

[59:35] immediately I can hear that this guy

[59:37] doesn't understand how powerful he is,

[59:39] which then immediately without him even

[59:41] saying anything, I know that he's

[59:42] probably going to struggle with his

[59:43] ability to self-express, which is

[59:45] usually manifested for the masculine in

[59:47] some sort of security, which is

[59:49] associated with finance. This is before

[59:51] he's even gone into his story. I don't

[59:52] know that he does Uber. He also said

[59:54] that Uber then pushes him to fear more

[59:57] external. He's outsourcing his way of

[1:00:00] feeling. So he would want to do the

[1:00:02] other thing cuz he loves that more. So

[1:00:05] now he's telling me that he has no

[1:00:06] domain, no sovereignty. I want to do the

[1:00:09] other thing. Like is someone holding a

[1:00:10] gun against his head? No. His own fear

[1:00:12] of survival is the perceived obstacle to

[1:00:15] him being able to make choice. So now

[1:00:18] what I hear is a little boy who perhaps

[1:00:20] didn't have too much domain in his

[1:00:22] ability to make choices. Again, like I'm

[1:00:24] extrapolating, right? So what I'd like

[1:00:27] to hear from Khen a little bit is like

[1:00:29] what was his childhood like because I

[1:00:31] hear already an absence of power. I

[1:00:34] don't hear abuse. I don't hear harm. I

[1:00:36] don't hear like lack of real selfworth,

[1:00:39] but there's absence of power.

[1:00:42] So, anything that I've shared that

[1:00:44] resonates or tell me some of the

[1:00:45] incidences you went through as a kid

[1:00:47] where maybe you were starting to feel

[1:00:49] some of the things I'm talking about.

[1:00:50] And it's okay if they weren't, but

[1:00:52] again, I'm I'm making assumptions.

[1:00:55] >> Yes. So, I grew up in a house household

[1:00:58] where

[1:01:00] yeah, I wasn't allowed to feel powerful.

[1:01:01] Right. I grew up with a with a mom that

[1:01:03] was always right. Right. So it was love

[1:01:06] and it was a um you know a gentle upgra

[1:01:09] upbringing but I never won an argument

[1:01:13] um

[1:01:14] >> and whenever I won an argument you know

[1:01:17] I would create upset uh because I won

[1:01:20] the argument

[1:01:20] >> right

[1:01:21] >> so yeah so right so I was tracking right

[1:01:24] so I could have maybe guessed that I

[1:01:26] might have gone lean towards the dad but

[1:01:29] either way I can feel a kid who was

[1:01:31] taught the language of behavior He's a

[1:01:34] nice guy, you know, he's very polite.

[1:01:37] He's articulate. Like, he's learned the

[1:01:38] attributes of being somebody who

[1:01:40] conforms. So, conformity is another form

[1:01:43] of survival. So, now what I hear because

[1:01:45] of what he's just shared is that he

[1:01:47] could never win an argument. So, now

[1:01:49] he's being taught that he has no uh

[1:01:52] power is the real word, right? Like that

[1:01:54] that he doesn't have his ability. And

[1:01:56] it's also double-sided, right? Because

[1:01:58] when he did, there would be upset what

[1:02:00] he just shared. So now he's learned that

[1:02:02] mostly he doesn't have any say but when

[1:02:04] he does there's the uh fear of

[1:02:07] consequences.

[1:02:08] Nice guy. I don't want to do anything to

[1:02:10] upset anybody. So think about this as

[1:02:12] the masculine the divine masculine. He

[1:02:14] wants to impact change whatever his

[1:02:17] industry or business is that he's

[1:02:18] passionate about which as I'm asserting

[1:02:20] without knowing it is going to be

[1:02:22] something that has a it makes a

[1:02:23] difference. But who he is energetically

[1:02:25] is somebody who's not allowed to make a

[1:02:27] difference. Can you immediately see the

[1:02:29] conflict? So, he's oriented, his nervous

[1:02:32] system is don't do anything that's going

[1:02:34] to upset people. But if you're a real

[1:02:36] masculine, I I hate to say this, you're

[1:02:38] going to upset the the apple car, right?

[1:02:41] Like, if you're really committed to

[1:02:42] purpose, then you are really oriented

[1:02:45] about making change. But his nervous

[1:02:47] system is like, so he's got one foot on

[1:02:49] the brake, ironic, as an Uber driver,

[1:02:51] and one on the accelerator, right? Which

[1:02:53] is like, I want to do this, but I can't.

[1:02:55] So, that's where friction. How old are

[1:02:57] you?

[1:02:58] >> I'm 39.

[1:02:59] >> 39. Okay, great. Do you have any kind of

[1:03:01] physical ailments at this point?

[1:03:02] Anything that you struggle with your

[1:03:04] body?

[1:03:04] >> No.

[1:03:04] >> Okay, great. So, he's got good

[1:03:06] constitution. I would give him another

[1:03:08] decade. It's not going to happen now

[1:03:10] because we're changing timeline. So,

[1:03:11] he's going to have a different future by

[1:03:13] virtue of this conversation. If he'd

[1:03:14] stayed on this trajectory, are you

[1:03:16] married? I'm not. Okay. So, whatever his

[1:03:21] relationships, and again, that would

[1:03:22] have been a guess that I'd make because

[1:03:24] again, his masculine his his energetic

[1:03:27] masculine is compromised. He's really a

[1:03:29] grown man who's 39 but looking through

[1:03:31] the nervous system of a boy who doesn't

[1:03:33] want to upset the apple cart. Right. So

[1:03:35] can you start to feel the the the

[1:03:37] disparity between conscious intention

[1:03:39] but energetic visceral like blockages?

[1:03:43] Does that are you seeing that? So I

[1:03:46] understand with your mom your parents

[1:03:47] still alive?

[1:03:48] >> They are. Yes.

[1:03:49] >> Okay. And what is your relationship

[1:03:50] right now especially with your mom?

[1:03:53] >> Um yeah we're on good terms. Um I think

[1:03:57] where

[1:03:59] um

[1:04:00] there was a moment in my relationship

[1:04:02] with my mom where my mom started

[1:04:04] speaking to me and she said, "You know

[1:04:07] what? For most of my life, I I told you

[1:04:09] that I was right. I I'm now shutting up

[1:04:11] because I feel like there's a lot of

[1:04:12] wisdom that I get from you. So um I'm

[1:04:15] going to listen to you."

[1:04:16] >> Okay, great. So that's an invitation

[1:04:18] where life is actually like now trying

[1:04:19] to encourage him to say it's okay. It's

[1:04:22] safe. Right? Again, all of these things

[1:04:24] happen magically. It's not really his

[1:04:25] mom. I would say forget about the

[1:04:27] personification. You're not falling in

[1:04:29] love with someone. Somebody is the

[1:04:30] inspiration and the catalyst for the

[1:04:32] love that you discover inside of

[1:04:33] yourself. So that's an invitation. Life

[1:04:35] through his mom, which was the previous,

[1:04:37] you know, adversary for him is now

[1:04:40] saying, "No, it's okay. You can come out

[1:04:41] to play." So this is perfect timing.

[1:04:43] When did that conversation happen?

[1:04:45] >> Uh over the last probably two years ago.

[1:04:48] >> Okay, great. And have you noticed within

[1:04:50] yourself since that conversation any

[1:04:52] kind of shifts in your behavior, your

[1:04:54] demeanor, life, opportunities, anything?

[1:04:57] Doesn't have to be significant, but

[1:05:00] >> yeah. And yeah, it's been it's gradual

[1:05:02] change over the last two years and and

[1:05:04] me not, you know, casting myself as the

[1:05:07] victim of my own destiny and just

[1:05:09] stepping into the things.

[1:05:11] >> See what I said at the beginning going

[1:05:13] back to my first statement that he said

[1:05:15] Andre made me cry. He's still

[1:05:16] outsourcing which is why he hasn't

[1:05:18] tapped into the power. He needed his

[1:05:20] mom, boy, mom, you know, girl, dad. Very

[1:05:23] simple dynamics that typically inform

[1:05:25] us. So, he's still, unbeknownst to him

[1:05:28] that I'm giving him now, being informed

[1:05:30] by whether his mom gives him permission

[1:05:32] or not to be who he wants to be. Can you

[1:05:35] see that? Can any of you relate to that

[1:05:37] in your own relationships? Whether it be

[1:05:38] to Yeah. Okay. Thank you for

[1:05:40] participating.

[1:05:42] Yeah. So, this is beautiful. So you

[1:05:44] obviously have a for me karmically

[1:05:47] you're being given light lessons. It's

[1:05:48] nothing too dramatic. You're 39, you're

[1:05:50] healthy. It sounds like, you know,

[1:05:52] relationships, you know, is going to be

[1:05:53] interesting for you. And that would be

[1:05:54] the next evolution for you is to

[1:05:56] actually embody the divine feminine as

[1:05:59] part of your existence cuz right now

[1:06:01] you're not wired to hold space for that,

[1:06:03] right? Does that make sense? So meaning

[1:06:05] like

[1:06:06] >> Yeah.

[1:06:06] >> Yeah. So have you struggled in

[1:06:08] relationships before?

[1:06:09] >> Yeah, I have.

[1:06:10] >> Yeah. So, because his orientation is he

[1:06:13] doesn't want to upset the feminine, good

[1:06:15] luck with that in a relationship with a

[1:06:17] woman, right? The woman's asking for you

[1:06:21] to accept her upset, right? I had a guy

[1:06:24] that I worked with at my live event. He

[1:06:26] came back to the one last night, but I'd

[1:06:28] worked with him previously. He and I'll

[1:06:30] come back to you, Ken. This is all going

[1:06:32] to help you, okay? I promise you this is

[1:06:33] a segue that is for your benefit. So, he

[1:06:35] when he was eight, he and his brother

[1:06:37] asked his dad to take him out, you know,

[1:06:39] just they wanted to go out. They're

[1:06:40] 8-year-olds

[1:06:41] and um so they went out and then 30 40

[1:06:44] minutes after they left the house, the

[1:06:45] dad picks up a girlfriend.

[1:06:48] He's married, right? So this is like,

[1:06:50] oops, this is strange. So they go about

[1:06:51] their day and then they come back and

[1:06:53] this is a grown man who's now 57, 58 at

[1:06:56] a live event in front of a few hundred

[1:06:57] people. And he said, you know, so I came

[1:06:59] back and when we got home, we dropped

[1:07:01] off the girlfriend and my dad said,

[1:07:03] "Don't tell your mom."

[1:07:06] >> Right? Just feel that, right? Like the

[1:07:09] pressure that's being put on an

[1:07:10] 8-year-old boy

[1:07:12] through the cowardice of a grown ass man

[1:07:15] who's not in a relationship, as I said

[1:07:16] earlier, he's in a relationship with his

[1:07:18] own lies. The boy who's now a grown man

[1:07:21] in my seminar, he runs straight into the

[1:07:24] house and tells the mom

[1:07:27] and you can imagine. So now what he was

[1:07:30] struggling with, which is anxiety, a

[1:07:32] feeling of like he's worthless. Like

[1:07:34] fundamentally what I come down to these

[1:07:36] like primordial conversations about how

[1:07:38] you define yourself. For him it's it's

[1:07:40] all his fault. They got divorced about a

[1:07:42] month later. And of course the

[1:07:44] 8-year-old, what does he decide? It's my

[1:07:46] fault. If I hadn't told mom, right? So

[1:07:49] here he is now, literally 50 years

[1:07:51] later, still living inside of a nervous

[1:07:53] system which is trying desperately not

[1:07:55] to do anything wrong or upset anyone.

[1:07:58] The obvious association with his fear

[1:08:00] was that he pissed off his dad. They

[1:08:01] were going to the fun fair a few about a

[1:08:03] month later. They were in the car. He

[1:08:04] said, "I'll never forget. I'm sitting in

[1:08:06] the back seat with my brother." My dad

[1:08:07] looks around and says, "We're getting

[1:08:09] divorced." And look straight at him.

[1:08:12] So for 50 years, five decades, you know,

[1:08:15] he's pretty strong. He's built like an

[1:08:16] ox, but he'd had all sorts of surgeries

[1:08:18] and issues, which is where things are

[1:08:19] falling apart. The energetic precursor

[1:08:21] to your anatomy, obviously starting to

[1:08:24] feel in a state of disease. But when I

[1:08:26] sat there, I thought the obvious one was

[1:08:28] he pissed off his dad. But what actually

[1:08:30] got revealed in the conversation was

[1:08:32] beautiful because he said yeah I said so

[1:08:34] I of course helped him see is it your

[1:08:36] fault like is it and he felt yes. I

[1:08:38] said, "No, but is it truly your fault at

[1:08:40] 8?" And he's like, "No, of course it's

[1:08:42] not." Who could you be in the absence of

[1:08:43] that? Like you could just see his face

[1:08:45] light up. He's like, "Holy [ __ ] finally

[1:08:47] free, right?" But he gave us a little

[1:08:49] anecdote at the end. He said, "And I

[1:08:50] decided at that moment I'd never put

[1:08:52] that look on a woman's face again."

[1:08:55] And that was the goal because he

[1:08:57] realized as an 8-year-old, you can

[1:08:59] imagine, right? an 8-year-old. The boys

[1:09:01] and the dad and the husband have been

[1:09:02] out hopefully hopefully she's at home

[1:09:04] cooking a lovely meal to have all her

[1:09:06] boys come home and she finds out that

[1:09:08] the husband's cheating. You can imagine

[1:09:10] you women particularly what that might

[1:09:11] have elicited as an expression. And that

[1:09:14] little boy, it was almost blazed into

[1:09:15] his mind. I will never put that look on

[1:09:17] a woman's face. And I said to him, I

[1:09:20] hope you do.

[1:09:22] Not because I want you to upset anyone,

[1:09:24] but because I want you to become

[1:09:25] sufficient enough of a man that you can

[1:09:27] hold space for a woman to have any

[1:09:29] emotion she needs.

[1:09:32] And that changed. He said, "Holy [ __ ] I

[1:09:34] was married for 12 years. I could never

[1:09:36] be with." He said, "If my wife got upset

[1:09:37] and we went to bed angry, I would just

[1:09:40] like try to just touch her like that.

[1:09:42] Like I just want to know that we're

[1:09:43] okay." Can you feel that? Like a grown

[1:09:45] ass man. So I share that view, my

[1:09:48] friend, because there's a part of your

[1:09:49] nervous system that's oriented that way,

[1:09:51] which is you're wired to not upset

[1:09:53] anyone. Now, if you look at it beyond

[1:09:56] relationships, you look at a business as

[1:09:57] a business, I don't know what your

[1:09:59] venture is, it doesn't matter. If you're

[1:10:01] going to create a business that is worth

[1:10:03] anything, you have to disrupt something.

[1:10:06] Do you see that?

[1:10:07] >> Yep, I do.

[1:10:09] So what I want you to consider is that

[1:10:11] currently the way you're oriented

[1:10:12] doesn't allow you to be successful in

[1:10:15] life, in finance, in relationships.

[1:10:18] Doesn't make you a bad person. You're a

[1:10:20] sweetheart. But the invitation is to see

[1:10:23] what is the lie you're living behind,

[1:10:24] which is that you mustn't upset anyone.

[1:10:28] Can you can you feel that?

[1:10:31] >> Yeah. Um it's present because I've felt

[1:10:34] it. Every time someone else upsets

[1:10:36] anyone else, my nervous system reacts or

[1:10:39] was like, "Oh, you've been too harsh to

[1:10:41] the other person." Do you see how like

[1:10:43] it's so subtle? It's not even him that

[1:10:46] has to do it. It's so sensitive. Which

[1:10:48] will make him a nice guy. He's lovely.

[1:10:51] Anyone who's spoken to him in the last

[1:10:53] day or two. Oh, he's so Kayen is so

[1:10:55] nice. Not going to become a [ __ ]

[1:10:58] billionaire, though.

[1:10:58] >> I'm also a [ __ ] badass.

[1:11:01] >> Okay, there he is. There he is. Just

[1:11:03] waiting for that to come out. Yeah,

[1:11:05] let's go. What you got? [laughter]

[1:11:07] >> I've got everything. I'm I'm really

[1:11:09] worried about out humoring you.

[1:11:11] [laughter]

[1:11:13] >> Delusional, too.

[1:11:16] >> Got a long way to go, buddy.

[1:11:18] >> I know. Um, but I'm I'm I'm planning to

[1:11:21] walk on water.

[1:11:22] >> Yeah. Okay, good. Let me know when that

[1:11:24] happens. See if you can just date a

[1:11:26] woman first. [laughter]

[1:11:30] >> Let's see. I will go toe-to-toe with

[1:11:32] this guy. I want I want this. I want him

[1:11:35] to find that like right that hood spot.

[1:11:37] Tap into that root [ __ ] chakra. So,

[1:11:40] is it true if you look at what I just

[1:11:42] shared, if I were to cut you open, am I

[1:11:45] going to find a manufacturing label that

[1:11:47] says Kalin like he can't upset people?

[1:11:50] Is that part of your makeup

[1:11:51] physiologically?

[1:11:52] >> I think it was up until recently,

[1:11:54] >> but not phys stay with the language,

[1:11:56] right? Like, is it true as part if I cut

[1:11:58] you open? I'm being right. Am I going to

[1:12:01] find physical manufacturing label inside

[1:12:03] your body that says that you're not

[1:12:06] allowed to upset anyone?

[1:12:08] >> Yes or no?

[1:12:10] >> Not anymore.

[1:12:12] >> But there was one before.

[1:12:13] >> Yes.

[1:12:14] >> Will you [ __ ] get this guy to a

[1:12:15] medic? [laughter]

[1:12:17] Listen, be in the conversation with me.

[1:12:19] Right. Like I know we're playing and

[1:12:21] you've got a great sense of humor, but

[1:12:22] that's also, as you said, you realize is

[1:12:24] one of the ways you protect yourself.

[1:12:26] Now we're getting into the nitty-gritty,

[1:12:27] right? I want you to be with me. Your

[1:12:29] capacity to make impact is inextricably

[1:12:32] connected to your ability to be present.

[1:12:34] >> Okay? When you're living in a world

[1:12:36] where you're protecting yourself, your

[1:12:37] ability to be present, which is

[1:12:39] imperative when you're with a woman. Cuz

[1:12:42] if that little boy gets triggered, you

[1:12:44] you're not there anymore. And she'll

[1:12:45] feel that immediately, right? So now

[1:12:48] this is the mano mano, right? I'm here

[1:12:49] with you cuz I [ __ ] care. And I see

[1:12:51] an extraordinary man who's waiting to

[1:12:53] access the power that is your divine

[1:12:54] right. So if I cut you open, stay in the

[1:12:58] conversation. Am I going to find a

[1:12:59] physical manufacturing label made of

[1:13:01] wood, metal, or plastic that says Kalin,

[1:13:03] he's not allowed to upset anyone?

[1:13:07] >> Yeah, probably.

[1:13:08] >> Okay, dude. You're doing great. You're

[1:13:11] in front of everyone. You're the first

[1:13:12] one. You're in the hot seat. If I cut

[1:13:14] you open, let's just stay away from the

[1:13:15] manufacturing label. If I cut you open,

[1:13:18] what am I going to find? Give me some

[1:13:19] examples.

[1:13:20] >> You're going to find my organs. You're

[1:13:21] going to find my You're going to find

[1:13:23] everything else, right? Yeah.

[1:13:25] >> Am I going to find a physical

[1:13:26] manufacturing label made of wood,

[1:13:28] plastic, or metal that says Kayen, he's

[1:13:30] not allowed to upset anyone?

[1:13:31] >> No, you're not.

[1:13:32] >> Okay, great. Right. Do you see the

[1:13:34] difference? Right. So, where But do you

[1:13:36] see that it informs the way that you

[1:13:38] think, feel, and act? Right. That lens,

[1:13:40] that perspective, right? You're looking

[1:13:41] through the even people who are being

[1:13:43] mean to somebody else, it triggers

[1:13:45] something in you. That's how sensitive

[1:13:47] that particular orientation is for you.

[1:13:49] >> Yes. So if it's not part of your

[1:13:52] hardware, if somebody knew how to read

[1:13:53] the genome, we could go down to the

[1:13:55] chromosome. That's hardware that would

[1:13:57] discern, I can't see from now, why your

[1:13:58] eyes are the color your eyes are, why

[1:14:00] you have the height, right? That's part

[1:14:01] of the genetic code. That's hardware. So

[1:14:04] where does the you're not allowed to

[1:14:06] hurt anyone or be right about something

[1:14:08] or impact or make change or upset

[1:14:10] anyone, where does that live?

[1:14:13] Where is it?

[1:14:16] >> It's constructed in my mind.

[1:14:18] >> Correct. It's a lens you look through.

[1:14:20] It's an orientation. It's a perspective.

[1:14:22] Right? If it's a perspective, if it's a

[1:14:24] lens you look through, can it be who you

[1:14:27] are? Is it literally who Kalin is?

[1:14:31] >> No.

[1:14:31] >> No. Awesome. Now, so it's made up. It's

[1:14:35] a lens. It's an orientation. Here's a

[1:14:37] trick question. I'm going to pre pre

[1:14:39] preempt it as trick. If you were born

[1:14:41] with blue tinted glasses on, how would

[1:14:44] everything look?

[1:14:49] blue,

[1:14:49] >> right? That's the trick. If you were

[1:14:51] born with blue tinted glasses on, it

[1:14:53] would look normal.

[1:14:54] >> Ah. Ah.

[1:14:56] >> Yes.

[1:14:56] >> Right. So, you're normal, which is how

[1:14:59] you are like oriented to the world is

[1:15:02] don't do anything to up upset anyone.

[1:15:05] >> Yes.

[1:15:06] >> Now, we're revealing it. We're lifting.

[1:15:08] You don't see the blue until you lift

[1:15:09] the blue up. Right. So, the lens that

[1:15:11] you look through, which also informs the

[1:15:12] way you think, feel, your nervous

[1:15:14] system, the way you behave. nice guy.

[1:15:16] You know, there is a dormant badass. I

[1:15:18] get that. And we're going to make him

[1:15:20] much more present. But if you look

[1:15:22] through that, how does that impact your

[1:15:24] life? If you're looking through I can't

[1:15:27] really make change. I can't upset

[1:15:29] people. Don't do anything wrong. How

[1:15:32] could how does that hit you as you look

[1:15:33] at that? If that's the way that you

[1:15:35] relate to life, not always, but as a

[1:15:37] predominant theme, what does that cost

[1:15:40] you?

[1:15:41] >> It's disempowering. I don't go for the

[1:15:44] big swings. I don't do what I want. I

[1:15:46] don't pursue my biggest and wildest

[1:15:48] dreams.

[1:15:49] >> And how did you start this whole

[1:15:50] conversation with me? What was your main

[1:15:54] bugaboo? What is your problem?

[1:15:57] >> That

[1:15:59] based on what you just said, you got

[1:16:01] these two things, right?

[1:16:02] >> Yeah. Yeah.

[1:16:04] >> Which are really the fundamental context

[1:16:06] is that you're not pursuing the big

[1:16:08] things. You're not pursuing what you

[1:16:09] want.

[1:16:10] >> Yeah.

[1:16:10] >> And we just came to the source of it.

[1:16:12] You can't if you look literally you

[1:16:14] can't if you're looking through the lens

[1:16:15] of don't do anything wrong don't upset

[1:16:17] people how are you going to impact

[1:16:19] change

[1:16:22] do can you make the con is everyone

[1:16:23] following can you see the connection

[1:16:25] >> y

[1:16:26] >> you're a man right your divinity as a

[1:16:28] masculine is to make change is to

[1:16:31] transform from what I can tell you're a

[1:16:33] fire type in Iveda like to transform is

[1:16:35] your gift but when you're being informed

[1:16:38] by the mindset of a boy who's scared to

[1:16:41] do anything wrong. As you said

[1:16:43] correctly, it's completely

[1:16:44] disempowering. I said, "We're in the

[1:16:46] arena of power with you." I felt it

[1:16:48] immediately. You're outsourcing your

[1:16:50] experience of life. That's the most

[1:16:52] disempowering way to I feel the way I

[1:16:54] feel because now fortunately, life

[1:16:56] created two years ago at least some sort

[1:16:58] of upleveling, a slight upgrade to your

[1:17:01] experience because your mom said that

[1:17:03] she wants to listen to your wisdom and

[1:17:04] whatever she shared that there was a

[1:17:06] little invitation for you to come out of

[1:17:08] your cage. But I'm like saying, "Fuck

[1:17:10] it. blow the cage open. I don't give a

[1:17:13] [ __ ] if you drive an Uber ever again.

[1:17:15] Cuz on the other side of you not doing

[1:17:17] that, all there is is a fear that you're

[1:17:19] going to do something wrong, make a

[1:17:21] mistake, or not be okay. Can you feel

[1:17:22] that?

[1:17:23] >> Yeah, I can.

[1:17:24] >> Yeah. That's survival. So, you have a

[1:17:26] choice. You either live or you survive.

[1:17:30] I guarantee you if you get I'm not

[1:17:31] telling you to give up your quote

[1:17:33] unquote whatever you perceive as

[1:17:34] security, which is completely illusory.

[1:17:36] All it's actually securing is your own

[1:17:38] story that you can't be [ __ ]

[1:17:40] phenomenally powerful, right? That's

[1:17:42] what you're actually securing is not

[1:17:44] finances. I don't know what you make as

[1:17:45] an Uber driver, but I'm guaranteeing it.

[1:17:47] It's not what you want, but it is

[1:17:49] sustaining the ill. That's the only

[1:17:51] security you've got is maintaining your

[1:17:53] fear. That's what you're feeding. That's

[1:17:56] what you're investing in. Doesn't make

[1:17:58] you a bad person, but how long are you

[1:18:01] going to keep doing that?

[1:18:04] Like to me, like I literally ended my

[1:18:06] mastermind today with somebody who was

[1:18:08] doing something very similar. He was

[1:18:10] told as a young boy that he was too

[1:18:12] gregarious. He was too excited about

[1:18:14] life. He was actually too talented. Calm

[1:18:16] down cuz we don't want to upset your

[1:18:18] sister

[1:18:19] two years younger cuz she was a bit more

[1:18:21] fragile. He now talking to me,

[1:18:24] 51-year-old man is wondering why he sort

[1:18:26] of feels a little bit like bored in life

[1:18:29] and he's not playing his sport was

[1:18:31] badminton and his business isn't quite

[1:18:33] doing. I'm like, because you've been

[1:18:34] told that being you is not you're not

[1:18:36] you're not allowed to be you. Do do you

[1:18:39] feel that? Like you're you but you're

[1:18:41] not allowed to be you. Go and have fun.

[1:18:44] Right. You're powerful but you're not

[1:18:47] allowed to make any kind of change or

[1:18:48] upset anybody. Do you see the conflict?

[1:18:52] >> Yeah, I do.

[1:18:53] >> Yeah. So again, I'm not telling you I'm

[1:18:56] not in the instruction business. I'm not

[1:18:57] an expert. But my invitation is for you

[1:18:59] to consider that your story about Uber

[1:19:02] has some form of security. The only

[1:19:03] thing that you're securing is your own

[1:19:05] limitations.

[1:19:09] >> Yeah. [ __ ] that.

[1:19:10] >> What's that?

[1:19:10] >> I said, "Fuck that. I'm not going to do

[1:19:12] that."

[1:19:12] >> Yeah. Okay. No,

[1:19:15] because because playing it safe is the

[1:19:17] riskiest way to live and he's playing

[1:19:18] itself. So, through no fault of his own,

[1:19:20] I'm This is tough love, right? Like I'm

[1:19:22] appealing to the man who's waiting to be

[1:19:24] born. There was someone in my live event

[1:19:26] last night who'd had chronic pain in his

[1:19:28] back for 10 years, which is a lie. No

[1:19:31] one's got chronic anything. You've just

[1:19:32] got a memory that makes it s more

[1:19:34] significant. I'm like, well, what

[1:19:35] happened before the 10 years? Well, I

[1:19:36] didn't have back pain. Well, then it's

[1:19:37] not [ __ ] chronic, right? And do you

[1:19:40] have pain all the time? No. Sometimes it

[1:19:41] comes and goes. Well, it's definitely

[1:19:42] not chronic. But chronic gives you

[1:19:44] significance. Like, because you think

[1:19:46] it's going to happen forever and it's

[1:19:48] like, oh, I never looked at it like

[1:19:49] that. Do you if I told you that your

[1:19:50] back pain's gone in a month, how would

[1:19:52] you feel? It's like, oh, I'd feel

[1:19:53] amazing. How does your back feel right

[1:19:54] now? It actually feels a bit lighter,

[1:19:56] right? You start to declare your own

[1:19:58] existence without realizing it and then

[1:20:00] looking for evidence to reinforce it all

[1:20:01] the time. So being smart, one of my

[1:20:04] quotes, doesn't make you any happier. It

[1:20:06] just makes your reasons why you're not

[1:20:08] way more convincing. You've got very

[1:20:10] convincing stories is why you should

[1:20:12] keep driving Uber.

[1:20:14] And I'm not asking you to be reckless or

[1:20:16] cavalier or irresponsible. I'm just

[1:20:17] asking you to wake up to the potential

[1:20:19] that you are. I don't know what your

[1:20:20] business is, but I can see a guy who

[1:20:21] shows up to an event like this. You're

[1:20:23] the first to pick up the mic. You're

[1:20:24] here being vulnerable. You're somebody

[1:20:26] who wants to make a [ __ ] impact.

[1:20:29] I [ __ ] do.

[1:20:30] >> Yeah. Right. So now again, what we want

[1:20:34] to tap into is the you that you think

[1:20:36] you will become when you have the

[1:20:39] successful business. Can you can you

[1:20:42] isolate that? Right. We we orient our

[1:20:44] ways in such a crazy way that we think

[1:20:46] that there's some future that's way more

[1:20:48] valuable with us or as a moment than

[1:20:50] where we are right now. And so we're

[1:20:52] like playing the waiting game. Oh, I'm

[1:20:54] not there but I'm getting there. No,

[1:20:55] you're not. You're just not.

[1:20:58] But who would you if I told you that

[1:21:00] your business works out like whatever it

[1:21:02] is in 6 12 months? So you're doubling

[1:21:04] tripling what you're making with Uber

[1:21:06] and then beyond that 10xing in two

[1:21:09] years. If that's the future that's

[1:21:10] waiting for you, how would you feel

[1:21:13] standing there right now with the mic?

[1:21:24] >> Just more relaxed.

[1:21:26] >> Yeah, relaxed as an energy is a

[1:21:30] receiving energy. Tension your one of

[1:21:33] your main conversations is about

[1:21:34] security, power, and money, right? Which

[1:21:36] is all illusory. there's no power in

[1:21:38] money, but really it's revealing where

[1:21:39] you don't understand the worth and the

[1:21:41] value of who you are. Relaxation is now

[1:21:44] you're open. I just presented you a

[1:21:46] future that is as real as the one you've

[1:21:48] been worried about. Does everyone follow

[1:21:50] that? But you're being informed by your

[1:21:53] own like this is the crazy part about

[1:21:55] the ego, right? You create the fear of a

[1:21:58] future that hasn't happened yet and then

[1:21:59] in the same moment you're trying to come

[1:22:01] up with solutions to it.

[1:22:04] Does everyone get how insane that is?

[1:22:06] You're worried about the future, trying

[1:22:08] to come up with ways to avoid it, not

[1:22:09] realizing you [ __ ] made it up.

[1:22:12] You wonder why people drink so much.

[1:22:14] [laughter]

[1:22:15] So, you've got an idea of a future like

[1:22:17] you're some sort of, you know, forget

[1:22:18] about walking on water. Stop trying to

[1:22:20] be a fortune teller with the worst case

[1:22:21] scenarios.

[1:22:24] Like, my future is [ __ ] phenomenal.

[1:22:28] Do you see that?

[1:22:29] >> Yeah, I do.

[1:22:30] >> Through declaration. I don't I'm just as

[1:22:32] clueless, but that's the one I'm living

[1:22:33] into. And by golly, it's amazing how

[1:22:36] often that happens. You will constantly

[1:22:38] through cognitive bias find evidence for

[1:22:41] the way that you think your life is

[1:22:42] going to unfold.

[1:22:44] And if you're oriented where you can't

[1:22:46] have impact, you're not powerful, then

[1:22:47] you're going to find evidence everywhere

[1:22:49] for it.

[1:22:51] So is it true as an absolute truth that

[1:22:53] you're not powerful?

[1:22:55] No.

[1:22:57] This is why when you understand you're

[1:23:00] so powerful you can make yourself dis

[1:23:03] power disempowered and powerless.

[1:23:09] It's way harder to play the game you're

[1:23:11] playing. That shows me how [ __ ]

[1:23:14] powerful you are that you can suppress

[1:23:16] your power.

[1:23:18] >> Does everyone get that?

[1:23:20] >> I'm really good at that. [laughter]

[1:23:22] >> Yeah. I invite you to stop being so good

[1:23:24] at it.

[1:23:26] So you ready to start to be truly kalin

[1:23:29] whose essence forget about name mom dad

[1:23:32] whatever you're one live from the

[1:23:34] quality of power which is one of your

[1:23:37] innate

[1:23:39] uh characteristics

[1:23:45] >> okay

[1:23:48] our work here is done [laughter]

[1:23:51] thank

[1:23:53] >> [applause]

[1:23:55] >> Okay. Who got something from that? Who

[1:23:57] can see yourself in that conversation?

[1:24:00] Yeah. So again, right, like if you look

[1:24:02] at the way in linear time that the mind

[1:24:04] works, typically he's trying to get away

[1:24:06] from something that he was oblivious to,

[1:24:07] which is don't make a mistake, don't

[1:24:09] upset mom, which is like as a catch all,

[1:24:12] don't upset anyone, don't do anything

[1:24:14] wrong. He's trying to get away from that

[1:24:16] at best proactively. He's smart, he's

[1:24:19] kind, he's caring, he's creative.

[1:24:22] Proactively, I'm going to try and work

[1:24:24] towards a better future. You know, like

[1:24:26] he'll have all sorts of conversations in

[1:24:27] his head about, well, if I reduce the

[1:24:29] amount of hours here, like if I do a

[1:24:31] black car, you know, you can imagine how

[1:24:32] he's trying to figure things out, right?

[1:24:35] What I'm inviting him to do is forget

[1:24:37] about linear progression. Live from the

[1:24:38] quality of who you are at the essence of

[1:24:41] your soul. If he lives from power, he's

[1:24:44] going to have different thoughts,

[1:24:45] different emotions, different behaviors

[1:24:47] versus the strategy of the ego trying to

[1:24:49] survive. Can you see the difference?

[1:24:51] That's two entirely different worlds.

[1:24:53] I'm not I don't care about whether he

[1:24:54] sticks with he can he could be Uber for

[1:24:56] the rest of his life and change the

[1:24:59] world because of the conversations he

[1:25:01] has in his car. Do you see? It's not in

[1:25:04] the events. It's not about outsourcing

[1:25:06] anymore. Andre didn't make him cry.

[1:25:08] Andre said something. He made himself

[1:25:09] cry. His mom didn't tell him that he

[1:25:11] couldn't be right. He was a little boy.

[1:25:13] He got scared. Of course, he was a

[1:25:15] dependent. I get it. But now, no [ __ ]

[1:25:17] [ __ ] [ __ ] up, you know, and be

[1:25:20] responsible, you know. Obviously, if you

[1:25:21] do things that hurt people, that's fine.

[1:25:23] But if you're a man, if you're anybody

[1:25:24] who wants to make a difference, you've

[1:25:26] got to disrupt.

[1:25:28] So, it might mean that for a while he

[1:25:30] keeps his Uber. That's fine. He can be

[1:25:31] responsible, keep some income. But the

[1:25:33] conversations in that Uber are going to

[1:25:34] be different. He will now be available.

[1:25:36] He's going to have someone get in the

[1:25:38] Uber that was never energetically able

[1:25:40] to get in that car. Do you understand

[1:25:42] that

[1:25:43] from that? Do you get that, Kaylin?

[1:25:46] >> From the energy of power, you will

[1:25:48] attract people and circumstances to

[1:25:50] reveal where you're not free. So, he

[1:25:52] would have constantly gotten evidence.

[1:25:53] He would have had conversations that

[1:25:54] would probably be with people who are

[1:25:56] equally struggling. And if somebody got

[1:25:58] in who was abundant or powerful or

[1:26:00] successful or famous, he might have gone

[1:26:02] into the like, oh, you know, and it

[1:26:04] would have been a cool conversation, but

[1:26:05] there's no resonance. It's him versus

[1:26:07] them. Right now, it's like, no, I'm

[1:26:10] [ __ ] powerful. I would expect like if

[1:26:11] Donald Trump or whoever, I don't give a

[1:26:13] [ __ ] got into his Uber because that's

[1:26:15] the kind of experience he wants to now

[1:26:17] have. That you can't calculate. That's

[1:26:21] because of an energy frequency. As you

[1:26:23] tune your radio into a different

[1:26:25] vibration, you're going to attract

[1:26:26] different music. That's how life works.

[1:26:29] You're waiting for he was waiting for

[1:26:31] life to be different to give him

[1:26:32] permission to step forward into a

[1:26:33] different frequency. Car before horse.

[1:26:35] Does everyone follow that? Now he

[1:26:37] generates he gen I make myself feel I'm

[1:26:40] powerful and if somebody doesn't want to

[1:26:43] do his business or invest fine I'll move

[1:26:44] on to the next person. Someone will it's

[1:26:46] your loss. You can you feel the

[1:26:48] difference in the resonance?

[1:26:51] Okay. How was that? Was that too much?

[1:26:53] [laughter]

[1:26:55] >> Claps for that. That was good.

[1:26:59] >> Thank you for your courage, my friend.

[1:27:01] That is the first step to you being

[1:27:02] powerful. Look at the difference you

[1:27:03] made tonight. Right. Take that as a

[1:27:05] living example and as a track record

[1:27:07] that you make a difference.

[1:27:10] Thank you for the share, man.

[1:27:12] >> I appreciate you.

[1:27:14] >> Yeah. Um, let's keep going, shall we?

[1:27:17] >> [ __ ] it. Let's go. Who's going

[1:27:19] [laughter] Let's pop some more. Um, who

[1:27:21] was I think it was who who was first

[1:27:24] last time.

[1:27:26] >> Okay, great. [laughter]

[1:27:28] >> Yes.

[1:27:29] >> Hey, Peter.

[1:27:30] >> Hi.

[1:27:30] >> What's up? Nice to see you again.

[1:27:32] >> Nice to see you. Remind me of your name.

[1:27:34] >> Lette.

[1:27:35] >> Lzette.

[1:27:36] >> Lisbette.

[1:27:37] >> Lisbette.

[1:27:38] >> Yes. [sighs and gasps]

[1:27:40] So today something came up for me uh in

[1:27:43] one of the workshops regarding just like

[1:27:46] the incest and pedophilia that has

[1:27:48] occurred within my family and my

[1:27:50] distrust for the masculine.

[1:27:51] >> Yeah.

[1:27:52] >> And it was just like really like I could

[1:27:56] feel it in my sacral chakra like the

[1:27:58] heat and the warmth and the fear.

[1:28:01] >> Did it happen to you directly or when

[1:28:02] you say in your family?

[1:28:04] >> No, it happened to me directly as well.

[1:28:06] >> Okay. And so I feel like in my family I

[1:28:10] grew up feeling like the disruptor. So I

[1:28:13] I grew up fearing to tell my truth

[1:28:15] because it wasn't believed or people

[1:28:18] would look at me and discredit me or

[1:28:20] invalidate what I would say. But as I've

[1:28:23] embarked on this healing journey, I feel

[1:28:25] more comfortable talking about it and

[1:28:27] like kind of embracing the feelings that

[1:28:29] come with it as I'm evolving.

[1:28:31] >> Yeah.

[1:28:32] But I I feel like there's something that

[1:28:35] I'm not exactly seeing when it comes

[1:28:37] down to like the work that I want to do

[1:28:39] and like sharing my truth and talking

[1:28:41] about the taboo of those types of

[1:28:43] situations.

[1:28:44] >> Yeah, I get it. And so where how's it

[1:28:46] First of all, I'm very sorry you went

[1:28:47] through that. No child should ever

[1:28:49] experience that.

[1:28:50] >> Um so thank you for your courage to

[1:28:52] share because I'm sure there's people in

[1:28:53] this room who can either relate to it

[1:28:55] directly or they certainly know a lot

[1:28:56] about it.

[1:28:57] >> Mhm. Um, so [clears throat]

[1:29:01] how does it manifest today, Elizabeth?

[1:29:03] Like how does it show up in your life?

[1:29:05] Apart from the work you're doing on it,

[1:29:06] which is great and I commend you for,

[1:29:08] how does it manifest in the way that

[1:29:10] things aren't necessarily how you want?

[1:29:13] >> I would say just whenever I speak my

[1:29:15] truth, it just I still feel like a

[1:29:17] disruption and it nothing really

[1:29:19] changes. Like it's just

[1:29:21] >> I can vocalize what I'm what I mean to

[1:29:23] say and I could probably say it really

[1:29:25] well,

[1:29:25] >> but nothing is changing on the on the

[1:29:28] outer realm.

[1:29:28] >> Okay, got it. Okay. Do you ever remember

[1:29:32] the kind of dreams you have?

[1:29:34] >> A lot of human trafficking.

[1:29:36] >> Pardon?

[1:29:37] >> A lot of human trafficking dreams.

[1:29:39] >> In your dreams.

[1:29:40] >> Mhm.

[1:29:41] >> Viscerally, what is your experience in

[1:29:43] the dreams?

[1:29:45] >> Like I'm a victim of human trafficking.

[1:29:47] >> Yeah. So, what I'm hearing in the way

[1:29:49] that she speaks, how many of you have

[1:29:51] seen the movie Divergent?

[1:29:54] Okay, it's a great movie. There's a

[1:29:55] scene that I'm coming to mind that

[1:29:57] really makes me tap into where she's at

[1:29:59] energetically, which is the lead actress

[1:30:02] is in a big cube of glass and it's

[1:30:05] filling with water. Does for those of

[1:30:07] you seen it. So, whatever she's trapped

[1:30:09] in glass, you get it if you haven't seen

[1:30:11] it. So, what I can hear for Lisbet is

[1:30:13] like, you know, that feeling. I don't

[1:30:16] know. I've had the dream myself when I

[1:30:17] was much younger where you just feel

[1:30:19] like trapped but you feel like weak.

[1:30:23] Does that feel that? Can can you relate

[1:30:24] to that? It's like you're trapped and

[1:30:27] it's like you feel like you can't it's

[1:30:28] sort of a continuation a little bit like

[1:30:30] which often happens in these

[1:30:31] conversations of what I was talking with

[1:30:33] Kayn about like is that feeling of like

[1:30:35] ah I can't do something about it. So

[1:30:38] she's already given me enough clues of

[1:30:39] like like she can't speak her truth or

[1:30:41] at least her truth isn't landing. So,

[1:30:43] what I hear, it's almost like that

[1:30:45] image, that quintessential Hollywood

[1:30:47] movie, like where the guy is outside or

[1:30:49] the girl is outside, it's cold and it's

[1:30:51] raining and he's looking through the

[1:30:52] restaurant window and everyone is inside

[1:30:54] loving their meals and having fun. Can

[1:30:56] you feel that? Can you feel that sense

[1:30:58] of isolation? So what I hear, especially

[1:31:01] given what she shared with me about the

[1:31:03] sexual abuse and the sex trafficking,

[1:31:04] the pedophilia,

[1:31:07] we don't have to go there too deeply,

[1:31:08] but in the experience that you had, what

[1:31:11] was your experience as a kid in those

[1:31:14] moments? If you were to try and put a

[1:31:16] word to how you felt whilst that was

[1:31:19] happening.

[1:31:21] >> Yeah. Trapped.

[1:31:23] >> Trapped.

[1:31:23] >> Trapped.

[1:31:24] >> I want you to consider the word that I

[1:31:26] feel for her is powerless.

[1:31:29] Can you feel that? Like literally, cuz

[1:31:32] for her as a young girl, as a child, as

[1:31:35] a dependent, as a weaker human relative

[1:31:38] to whoever was doing whatever they're

[1:31:39] doing, she's going to feel both trapped,

[1:31:41] but also like powerless. So now what I

[1:31:44] hear in the way that she speaks and

[1:31:46] she's describing that she's very

[1:31:48] consistent theme with what we've been

[1:31:50] talking about is she's her it's almost

[1:31:52] like she has a voice, but she doesn't

[1:31:54] have a voice. And again, you can tell me

[1:31:56] to what degree this resonates, right?

[1:31:58] Like meaning you're smart, you're

[1:31:59] articulate, you're doing the work, but

[1:32:01] what I hear is that it's almost like

[1:32:03] you're screaming into the void.

[1:32:05] >> Yeah.

[1:32:06] >> Yeah.

[1:32:07] >> Yes.

[1:32:08] >> What does that feel like as a woman?

[1:32:11] >> Exhausting.

[1:32:12] >> Yeah.

[1:32:14] So, what I want you to understand is how

[1:32:16] old are you, Elizabeth?

[1:32:17] >> 34.

[1:32:18] >> 34. And roughly just about what age did

[1:32:21] some of this stuff happen?

[1:32:23] >> Like four years old.

[1:32:24] >> Yeah. So here she is, 34 year old woman

[1:32:27] biologically in terms of the the the

[1:32:29] chronology of the organism, but the

[1:32:31] energy that is like driving it is still

[1:32:34] a trapped, scared, powerless

[1:32:35] four-year-old.

[1:32:38] And so what we got to do is we got to

[1:32:40] recognize, oh, she's still being to some

[1:32:42] degree through no fault of her own being

[1:32:44] defined by a nervous system that is

[1:32:46] living constantly and finding evidence

[1:32:48] for where she doesn't have any domain,

[1:32:50] no sovereignty. very again similar to

[1:32:52] this is like the female version of what

[1:32:54] we were just talking about that she

[1:32:55] doesn't feel that she has power. So if

[1:32:58] you're looking if that's the way that

[1:32:59] you're relating to life then life is a

[1:33:02] mirror. So it's not that they're not

[1:33:04] listening or they're not believing her

[1:33:06] truth. She set it up unconsciously that

[1:33:08] way. Did you track what I just said?

[1:33:11] Does that make sense?

[1:33:12] >> I'm listening.

[1:33:13] >> Okay, great. So I want her to realize

[1:33:17] that there's no absence of power. It's

[1:33:18] just her power is being filtered through

[1:33:21] the way that she p perceives life, which

[1:33:24] is that she does have no domain. Again,

[1:33:27] very similar. Like she has no impact.

[1:33:29] Her words don't land. People don't get

[1:33:31] it. They can't hear her. She's

[1:33:33] hopelessly trapped.

[1:33:35] Yes.

[1:33:37] >> Well, sort of. Like I feel like as like

[1:33:40] the past 2 years I've been more present

[1:33:43] with what occurred and now I feel people

[1:33:45] are coming out of like the woodworks.

[1:33:47] Like my younger sister speaking up for

[1:33:48] herself which I never thought was going

[1:33:49] to be a possibility.

[1:33:50] >> Yeah.

[1:33:51] >> And even my mom who basically always

[1:33:53] stood on the perpetrator's side actually

[1:33:56] took our side like around two weeks ago.

[1:33:58] So that was very like shifting for me

[1:34:00] cuz I was like wow my mom no she don't

[1:34:02] my mom but she was like a Judas where

[1:34:03] like she would like go and betray and

[1:34:05] like not be on our side.

[1:34:07] >> Yeah. Yeah.

[1:34:08] >> Which was really painful, but to see her

[1:34:10] actually be like, I'm on your side.

[1:34:12] Like, I'm not going to go to them. That

[1:34:14] was like a huge shift to see.

[1:34:17] >> Very similar to Caleum, right? Like the

[1:34:19] two years ago where he started to be

[1:34:20] invited by his mom to come forward. So,

[1:34:23] a very similar dynamic. I'm glad that

[1:34:24] she's coming around, but what I want to

[1:34:26] get Lette to eventually, it's it's

[1:34:28] irrelevant. She comes around or it

[1:34:31] doesn't. This is your journey, your

[1:34:32] karma. The way that you incarnated is

[1:34:34] you wanted to have this experience of

[1:34:35] feeling powerless. Not because you're

[1:34:38] waiting for somebody else to give you

[1:34:39] the permission or the endorsement that

[1:34:41] you're powerful, but for you to discover

[1:34:43] it for yourself.

[1:34:45] >> Your mom is like a kind of a little bit

[1:34:46] of a help. Like it it's nice, right?

[1:34:48] It's okay.

[1:34:49] >> Super boost.

[1:34:50] >> What?

[1:34:50] >> A super boost.

[1:34:52] >> Exactly. Yeah. You got like a little

[1:34:53] extra like cheerleading from the mom.

[1:34:55] It's like, okay, finally. Right. It

[1:34:57] gives you permission to start to tap

[1:34:58] into your divine feminine, which is

[1:35:01] power itself for sure, right? Different

[1:35:03] form of the masculine that I was talking

[1:35:05] with Kaylin about, but for you, that

[1:35:07] divine feminine. So really, what you're

[1:35:10] saying from the perspective of that

[1:35:11] young girl is that you're trapped,

[1:35:13] you're powerless, that you don't have

[1:35:16] any really that your words, cuz again,

[1:35:18] without getting into the graphics of it,

[1:35:20] I've heard so many ways that people have

[1:35:21] described what they went through.

[1:35:22] Sometimes they're literally mouth their

[1:35:25] mouth is covered with a hand, right?

[1:35:27] Like so even the visceral experience of

[1:35:29] you can't say anything or you're

[1:35:31] screaming or you're shouting and nobody

[1:35:32] hears. You're you're basically saying I

[1:35:35] don't have a voice.

[1:35:36] >> Well, can I share something?

[1:35:38] >> No, you can share whatever you want. So

[1:35:40] that's not necessarily true because

[1:35:42] there was one moment where my

[1:35:44] perpetrator took me into a dark room

[1:35:46] that that's when I was four years old

[1:35:47] and I don't know I don't remember

[1:35:49] because I was so young but there was a

[1:35:51] moment where he brought me into a dark

[1:35:52] room and was going to get me to do

[1:35:54] things but I I couldn't see it was

[1:35:56] completely dark and like something in me

[1:36:00] just told him to tell him that like

[1:36:02] Jesus was watching him and he told me to

[1:36:04] run away.

[1:36:05] >> Mhm. And so I didn't understand it then

[1:36:08] because I was four years old and I

[1:36:09] didn't know what I was was going to

[1:36:10] happen but like afterwards I was like oh

[1:36:12] wow like not to get too deep into it but

[1:36:15] I probably was going to do some oral act

[1:36:18] and I didn't get involved in it because

[1:36:21] I spoke up for myself and that was like

[1:36:23] the first moment of sovereignty that I

[1:36:25] ever experienced in my life.

[1:36:26] >> Beautiful. Yeah. Powerful. And that was

[1:36:28] where we get these like glimpse and

[1:36:30] trailers of coming attractions which is

[1:36:32] your soul to me incarnated in this

[1:36:34] particular lifetime cuz that's what

[1:36:36] you're here to remember about yourself.

[1:36:39] Right? That moment was a glimpse of what

[1:36:42] you're here to incarnate to discover

[1:36:44] which is the power of your voice.

[1:36:48] But in order to discover the power of

[1:36:50] your voice you have to experience the

[1:36:51] antithesis.

[1:36:53] One of the most beautiful parts about

[1:36:55] loving somebody is missing them. And

[1:36:57] from the perspective of consciousness

[1:36:59] that is everything we have to experience

[1:37:01] the antithesis.

[1:37:04] So you in that moment beautiful but for

[1:37:07] the majority of the other experiences no

[1:37:09] voice right. Even the way Yes.

[1:37:11] >> Yes.

[1:37:12] >> You describe that when you're talking

[1:37:13] your mom to begin with okay she's come

[1:37:15] around but she was the Judah she wasn't

[1:37:16] listening. Your voice isn't landing. I

[1:37:18] can imagine how frustrating that is.

[1:37:20] >> Yeah. Really painful.

[1:37:22] >> Really painful. So if we look at this

[1:37:24] more from a soul's mission versus a

[1:37:26] human victim of horrific and tragic

[1:37:29] things, but if we were to look at it

[1:37:31] from the aspect of who you really are as

[1:37:33] a soul incarnating for an omission and

[1:37:35] an experience,

[1:37:37] what could we say that you're here to

[1:37:38] learn?

[1:37:40] >> That my voice is powerful.

[1:37:43] >> I want you all to consider this is one

[1:37:45] of my favorite lines. All you have is a

[1:37:47] voice.

[1:37:49] >> Mhm.

[1:37:49] >> In the beginning was the word. All of

[1:37:52] you are nothing but walking

[1:37:53] conversations.

[1:37:55] >> Yeah.

[1:37:56] >> Like really the you that you think you

[1:37:57] are is a compilation of conclusions and

[1:37:59] beliefs that you've made over time which

[1:38:01] is founded in language. Even your name

[1:38:03] is made up. It's it's appropriate in

[1:38:05] time and space. If someone says, "Hi,

[1:38:07] Peter. Nice to see you." I respond, but

[1:38:08] I know it's not who I am. Right? It's a

[1:38:11] locator. But then you get into the

[1:38:13] nuances of like, "Oh, I'm powerless. I'm

[1:38:15] not worthy. I'm not good enough." Right?

[1:38:17] You're bound by these linguistic

[1:38:19] fortresses.

[1:38:20] So again, just as I said with Ka, he's

[1:38:23] so powerful that he can suppress his

[1:38:25] power, right? Everyone kind of got that,

[1:38:27] right? There was a general wow. Like you

[1:38:29] that's how powerful his capacity is that

[1:38:32] he can even suppress that which is

[1:38:33] innate.

[1:38:35] I want you to consider, Elizabeth, your

[1:38:37] voice is so powerful that you can use

[1:38:39] your voice to believe that you don't

[1:38:41] have power.

[1:38:44] The same thing, but you're saying that

[1:38:46] to yourself, right? So, you're you're

[1:38:48] giving the illusion that your voice

[1:38:50] doesn't carry any power,

[1:38:52] >> which is wild cuz I'm a comm major.

[1:38:54] [laughter]

[1:38:54] >> Cuz you're what?

[1:38:56] >> Which is wild cuz I'm a communications

[1:38:58] major.

[1:38:58] >> Of course. There's no [ __ ] surprise

[1:39:00] how these things show up, right?

[1:39:02] [laughter]

[1:39:03] >> Yeah.

[1:39:03] >> Yeah. So, you're being drawn into that,

[1:39:05] which is really both something you

[1:39:07] desperately crave, but also that is an

[1:39:09] inherent gift.

[1:39:11] >> Yeah.

[1:39:12] The illusion is that you're still

[1:39:14] waiting for your voice to be given

[1:39:16] validity.

[1:39:18] >> Mhm.

[1:39:20] >> Do you see that?

[1:39:21] >> Yeah.

[1:39:22] >> There's a great line in the matrix

[1:39:25] again, like I think this is the third

[1:39:26] one. Now, I promise you my whole

[1:39:28] philosophy isn't built off the matrix. I

[1:39:30] did I did [laughter] have some unique

[1:39:32] thoughts of my own,

[1:39:34] but when the uh the um Zion is under

[1:39:38] attack by the machines, right there, all

[1:39:40] the Sentinels are coming to blow it up

[1:39:41] or whatever, and all the ships, the the

[1:39:43] head of defense, who has this

[1:39:45] contentious relationship with Morpheus

[1:39:47] because they both dated the same woman

[1:39:49] or whatever, you know, Hollywood drama.

[1:39:51] So Morpheus leaves the Nebuchadnezzar,

[1:39:53] which is his ship, out there in the

[1:39:55] matrix because he wants to be able to

[1:39:56] communicate with the oracle to determine

[1:39:59] the fate of the one which is Neo. Does

[1:40:01] everyone kind of track even if you don't

[1:40:03] [ __ ] follow? [laughter]

[1:40:05] No. I mean, it's really simple. Okay.

[1:40:08] Basically, like the good guys, they've

[1:40:10] got a ship, a spaceship. It's out there

[1:40:11] in the Matrix, and he's supposed to

[1:40:13] bring the ship back to defend the

[1:40:15] homeland. That's like the simple

[1:40:16] version. The head of defense says, "Damn

[1:40:19] it, Morpheus. I gave the instruction to

[1:40:22] all captains to bring your ships back to

[1:40:24] defend Zion.

[1:40:26] And he said, "No, I left the ship out

[1:40:27] there cuz I have to be able to

[1:40:29] communicate with the oracle to determine

[1:40:31] the fate." And the head of defense says,

[1:40:34] "Damn it, Morpheus. Not everyone

[1:40:36] believes what you believe, right? That

[1:40:38] he believes in this destiny and the

[1:40:40] one." And his line, he said, "My beliefs

[1:40:42] do not require them to."

[1:40:45] >> Oh, yeah. Word.

[1:40:47] >> Not everyone believes what you believe.

[1:40:49] My beliefs do not require them to.

[1:40:52] >> Yeah.

[1:40:52] >> Isn't that powerful?

[1:40:53] >> Yeah. Yeah.

[1:40:54] >> Lisbet, that's where you're headed.

[1:40:56] >> That's what's up.

[1:40:58] >> Do you get that?

[1:40:59] >> Yeah.

[1:41:00] >> What did you just get from what I just

[1:41:01] shared?

[1:41:02] >> That I need to validate my own truth in

[1:41:04] my own voice.

[1:41:05] >> Don't even need to. You do. By

[1:41:07] declaration alone.

[1:41:08] >> Yes.

[1:41:08] >> Whether anybody gets it or not.

[1:41:11] >> Yes.

[1:41:12] >> Do you see that? That gives me chills.

[1:41:14] Which tells me that I'm in resonance

[1:41:15] with your experience. Right. So right

[1:41:17] now, what you're here to realize is that

[1:41:19] your voice matters for you. Those who

[1:41:22] are ready to hear it will hear it. Those

[1:41:24] who don't don't. You've been waiting for

[1:41:27] permission to have your voice.

[1:41:32] >> Thank you.

[1:41:32] >> What becomes available for you now with

[1:41:34] your voice?

[1:41:38] >> I can share it. I can share it freely.

[1:41:41] >> How does that hit your body as a woman?

[1:41:45] Well, I feel more free and I feel

[1:41:47] lighter.

[1:41:48] >> Yeah.

[1:41:49] >> Not shaking as much.

[1:41:50] >> Yeah. Can you hear? Can you feel the the

[1:41:53] enormous amount of power that now you

[1:41:56] are charged with with the responsibility

[1:41:59] of having the way that you speak change

[1:42:02] of things that happen around you?

[1:42:04] >> Hell [ __ ] yeah.

[1:42:05] >> Right.

[1:42:06] >> Can you see this is the juxiposition?

[1:42:08] She had to have the experience of her

[1:42:10] voice landed nowhere, which is a

[1:42:12] horrible feeling, totally appropriate to

[1:42:15] a child who's being taken advantage of

[1:42:17] in a tragic, horrible way. She had to

[1:42:20] have that experience so she could be

[1:42:22] reminded that there's nothing this woman

[1:42:24] can't handle and she doesn't need

[1:42:27] consensus.

[1:42:30] Do you feel that?

[1:42:31] >> Yes. I would have dropped the mic, but

[1:42:34] [laughter]

[1:42:34] >> Well, you do have it. for you.

[1:42:37] >> Yeah, that's a new world for Lisbette,

[1:42:40] isn't it?

[1:42:41] >> That's what's up. Thank you.

[1:42:42] >> You're so welcome.

[1:42:46] [applause]

[1:42:47] >> That's how powerful you all are. That

[1:42:49] you use your words to fundamentally

[1:42:51] build the cage from which you then tried

[1:42:53] to escape, not realizing that you made

[1:42:55] it up in the first place.

[1:42:59] >> That's some good stuff. That's some good

[1:43:01] stuff. Peter picking up what I'm putting

[1:43:03] down. [laughter]

[1:43:07] Thank you. Those are both very

[1:43:08] vulnerable sharers and I can imagine not

[1:43:11] easy in a group like this especially.

[1:43:13] >> So thank you for the courage to share.

[1:43:15] >> No, particularly in those particular

[1:43:17] subject matters and I really and again

[1:43:19] like there's no surprise to me without

[1:43:21] making generalizations that typically

[1:43:23] sadly majority of women who go through

[1:43:25] experiences like that is is because

[1:43:27] you're here to recognize that there's

[1:43:29] nothing you can't handle.

[1:43:32] doesn't mean you want to, but it shows

[1:43:35] you that you can.

[1:43:37] That's how powerful that woman is now

[1:43:39] that she recognizes her whole story

[1:43:41] about all the things she's been working

[1:43:42] on and the shame and d it's irrelevant

[1:43:45] now. Can you see that? Can you see like

[1:43:47] it doesn't in any way condone what she

[1:43:48] went through and it doesn't mean that it

[1:43:50] was easy, but relative to what she's

[1:43:51] discovered about who she is, there's

[1:43:53] nothing this woman can't handle.

[1:43:56] So, it just becomes almost anecdotal.

[1:43:58] It's a memory, but it's no longer

[1:44:00] something she has to work on.

[1:44:03] Do you see the difference?

[1:44:05] It's super cool

[1:44:08] that there's that difference there. Um

[1:44:10] because like you're helping reveal the

[1:44:12] events that we not only were significant

[1:44:15] in our life, but that we continue to

[1:44:17] carry significance around.

[1:44:18] >> Yeah. And how do you walk that balance

[1:44:21] before we do maybe one last one of

[1:44:24] honoring

[1:44:26] the trauma that lives in the body, the

[1:44:27] experience that is very real for for a

[1:44:29] person and the narrative that continues

[1:44:30] to perpetuate that in their experience.

[1:44:33] >> Beautiful question. So we want to make

[1:44:34] sure that we make space for both, right?

[1:44:37] 1.0 is still very much what runs the

[1:44:39] world and it is part of the human

[1:44:40] experience. So when I started, one of

[1:44:42] the first things I said is I see her, I

[1:44:44] feel her, I'm very sorry no child should

[1:44:46] go through that, right? I want to

[1:44:48] acknowledge her reality even though

[1:44:50] underneath it I know it's precisely what

[1:44:52] she signed up for unconsciously. No

[1:44:54] one's going to like volunteer

[1:44:56] consciously to go through these horrific

[1:44:58] experiences. So we want to be able to

[1:45:01] make space for honor, respect, revere

[1:45:04] and have compassion for the human

[1:45:06] experience.

[1:45:08] But underneath it when we realize that

[1:45:10] what we feel is happening to us, she

[1:45:13] used the word victim, right? that is

[1:45:15] appropriate from the perspective of the

[1:45:17] human. It's completely irrelevant from

[1:45:20] the point of view of the soul, which is

[1:45:22] what I'm appealing to. So, can you see

[1:45:24] it's both? So, whatever you've gone

[1:45:26] through, and we've all been through

[1:45:28] horrific things, tragic, completely

[1:45:30] [ __ ] you know, [ __ ] that we shouldn't

[1:45:31] condone, but nonetheless, that which

[1:45:33] happens to you as a human is what's

[1:45:37] happening for you as a soul.

[1:45:40] And if you can change that around, boy,

[1:45:42] does it completely alter your

[1:45:45] relationship to trauma.

[1:45:48] We make space for the tragedy. We make

[1:45:51] space for the devastation, the

[1:45:53] heartache, the hurt, the sadness is all

[1:45:55] appropriate for the human. And this is

[1:45:58] why I talk about maternal and paternal

[1:46:00] love, right? Maternal really is the the

[1:46:02] owie. The kid falls over. We want to

[1:46:04] meet them in their reality. We're like,

[1:46:06] "Dude, forget it. you [ __ ] ran around

[1:46:07] the corner too [ __ ] you know, that's

[1:46:09] not going to help that kid right now.

[1:46:12] The kid wants to be picked up. It wants

[1:46:13] to be held. It wants to be safe. It

[1:46:15] wants to be recognized in its hurt. So,

[1:46:18] I do it a lot quicker if I was this was

[1:46:21] one-on-one. We might have stayed there

[1:46:22] longer. I wanted her to feel that. I

[1:46:23] wanted but she knows that this is a safe

[1:46:25] space. I could feel the confidence.

[1:46:27] She's the second one to the mic. I'm

[1:46:29] making a lot of assumptions that I can

[1:46:31] go there a little quicker which is more

[1:46:32] the paternal which is now that we want

[1:46:34] to get into the understanding of the

[1:46:36] mechanics that led to the human

[1:46:38] experience maternal unconditional

[1:46:40] holding

[1:46:42] paternal more like tough love like let's

[1:46:44] get this [ __ ] together you're awesome so

[1:46:47] we make space for both that make sense

[1:46:50] often times in these communities what I

[1:46:52] see is there's a lot of bypassing which

[1:46:54] is people who have great insights I know

[1:46:56] a lot of people it's very slippery

[1:46:58] they've listened my work. They've done a

[1:46:59] lot of work. They've listened to other

[1:47:00] people. They say all the right things,

[1:47:02] but they're negating the human

[1:47:05] experience.

[1:47:06] So, it's really important to validate

[1:47:08] that. We want to we want to really let

[1:47:11] somebody know, I get it. That's awful.

[1:47:12] You women do this way better than men,

[1:47:14] right? Like your girlfriend's going

[1:47:15] through something. Honey, come here. I'm

[1:47:17] so sorry. Like, you're not trying to fix

[1:47:19] anything. You just want to be with your

[1:47:20] friend, right? This is something that I

[1:47:22] help men with is to like, particularly

[1:47:24] in their relationships, just learn to

[1:47:26] listen. Listen is an extension of love.

[1:47:29] Then when it's appropriate, when someone

[1:47:30] feels safe, when somebody feels like to

[1:47:32] your point earlier about vulnerability,

[1:47:34] when someone is like held, now you can

[1:47:36] get into maybe the mechanics of why did

[1:47:38] that transpire, which then helps them

[1:47:41] evolve, right? She's still going to have

[1:47:43] moments. She still might have even some

[1:47:45] why I asked about her sleep is when you

[1:47:47] go through those experiences, I wanted

[1:47:48] to wonder to what degree she was having

[1:47:50] the feeling of powerlessness in her

[1:47:52] dreams, right? Because that's sometimes

[1:47:54] where it's trying to play out. But then

[1:47:56] now she that that's all going to change

[1:47:58] her orientation to her own physiology,

[1:48:00] the way that her mind thinks, the

[1:48:02] feeling she has, the things that she

[1:48:03] thinks is going to be possible. She's

[1:48:05] literally jump what I call a timeline.

[1:48:07] She's in a different frequency. So now

[1:48:09] if I spoke to Elizabeth again in a week

[1:48:11] or like I could even be more firm like,

[1:48:13] you know, because she's going to be even

[1:48:15] stronger now. She can hear it. She knows

[1:48:16] that I've got her voice. I I I it landed

[1:48:19] for me. She's got evidence that I'm

[1:48:20] paying attention which is going to

[1:48:22] reinforce her own sense of power. So we

[1:48:25] want to make space for both and it's a

[1:48:26] nuance it's a skill to be able to

[1:48:28] discern you know to what degree do we

[1:48:30] have to stay in the human domain for a

[1:48:32] minute because that person's really

[1:48:33] caught up in the drama you know for some

[1:48:35] people it's never if it's fresh if it

[1:48:37] was a week ago you know like then it's

[1:48:39] it's time is warranted to stay there for

[1:48:41] a minute let them know it's okay I get

[1:48:43] it it's horrible you know and if

[1:48:45] somebody like sometimes I'll jump

[1:48:46] straight down the throat of somebody I'm

[1:48:48] like you're full of [ __ ] like I can

[1:48:49] remember honestly a woman came to see me

[1:48:51] one of my first clients in London who

[1:48:52] was uh divorced to a very very very

[1:48:56] successful rock star in London. Very

[1:48:58] wellto-do. She had all the resources,

[1:49:00] elegantly dressed, beautiful, manicured,

[1:49:02] all the things. We met at a beautiful

[1:49:04] golf club. She walks in. She spoke to me

[1:49:06] for an hour and 15 minutes non-stop,

[1:49:09] right? I just listen. I'm there.

[1:49:12] Probably the first audience, like real

[1:49:14] audience that cares enough that she

[1:49:16] could just tell me everything.

[1:49:19] My first words to her, that was so

[1:49:22] boring.

[1:49:23] >> [laughter]

[1:49:26] >> took some [ __ ] balls, right?

[1:49:30] She got up. She started to walk out. I

[1:49:34] said, "Are you not at least curious why

[1:49:36] I would say that?"

[1:49:38] She got down and sat down again. I said,

[1:49:40] "Because what I see is an extraordinary

[1:49:42] woman who's trying to get me to buy into

[1:49:44] a [ __ ] story.

[1:49:48] You don't understand how extraordinary

[1:49:50] you are. and I'm not going to be one of

[1:49:53] the people who buys into your woe is me.

[1:49:57] Right? So that's was an example of like

[1:49:59] she was mature enough. It was an old

[1:50:01] story. It's like it's just boring

[1:50:04] relative to who I see sitting in front

[1:50:06] of me. So that was a unique experience

[1:50:08] where there was just really no holding.

[1:50:11] But typically you need to spend time

[1:50:12] with the human first.

[1:50:18] >> How do we feel about one more?

[1:50:20] >> Let's do it. Let's go.

[1:50:24] >> Hi.

[1:50:24] >> Hi.

[1:50:25] >> Uh, my name is Darby.

[1:50:26] >> Darby?

[1:50:27] >> Yes.

[1:50:27] >> Darby, nice to meet you. Where you from?

[1:50:29] >> Nice to meet you. Um, California,

[1:50:30] Northern Lake Tahoe area.

[1:50:32] >> Oh, beautiful. I used to live there in

[1:50:34] Glenrook.

[1:50:34] >> Oh, beautiful. Very nice. Very nice.

[1:50:38] >> What can we help you with?

[1:50:39] >> I'm trying to find the entry point here.

[1:50:41] >> Okay. [laughter] Um, I'm definitely the

[1:50:44] story actually you just told about the

[1:50:46] woman who came to see you. I'm I'm bored

[1:50:48] of my own story to a large degree as

[1:50:50] well.

[1:50:50] >> Great. Well, then don't be upset if I'm

[1:50:53] direct with you.

[1:50:54] >> Perfect. [laughter] Yeah. I also cry a

[1:50:56] lot, so that's okay, too.

[1:50:57] >> That's okay.

[1:50:59] >> Yeah. So, you know, I feel like I've

[1:51:01] been working on myself for all these

[1:51:03] years, you know, whatever. And there's

[1:51:04] improvements and it's kind of the 2.0

[1:51:06] model. I want the 2.0 model. I'm tired

[1:51:08] of these incremental things.

[1:51:09] >> Yeah.

[1:51:10] >> And, you know, I just feel

[1:51:14] still so alone always.

[1:51:16] >> Yeah. you know, and I just want to know

[1:51:18] how to get Sorry.

[1:51:20] >> It's okay. Don't resist it.

[1:51:23] >> Yeah,

[1:51:24] >> it's you trying to get it right.

[1:51:26] >> Okay.

[1:51:28] I guess the one piece of the story just

[1:51:30] to make a reference is just, you know, I

[1:51:32] felt up I grew up feeling very alone

[1:51:35] >> and isolated. I had no one to talk to. I

[1:51:38] was shamed for any feelings that I had.

[1:51:41] >> I wasn't allowed to express them.

[1:51:42] >> No, I get that. That's why I'm asking

[1:51:43] you not to resist. [laughter] I can see

[1:51:45] it. It's okay. This is one of the most

[1:51:48] beautiful things you can do for us.

[1:51:50] >> Okay. Thank you.

[1:51:51] >> Okay. This might be the first time, and

[1:51:53] I'm not saying it is literally the first

[1:51:54] time, but you're actually being invited

[1:51:56] to truly feel.

[1:51:59] >> You just explained to me why that's an

[1:52:01] anomaly for you. [laughter]

[1:52:04] >> Yes.

[1:52:06] >> You're welcome here. You're you're

[1:52:07] you're loved here.

[1:52:09] >> Thank you. I do feel that.

[1:52:11] >> Yeah.

[1:52:12] >> Even though I'm having a hard time

[1:52:13] speaking. Yeah, it's beautiful. We get

[1:52:16] to be with you. This is a gift that

[1:52:18] you're giving us.

[1:52:19] >> Okay. Thank you.

[1:52:21] >> Okay. [laughter]

[1:52:22] >> I get really mad at myself because, you

[1:52:25] know, I've lost all of my family members

[1:52:28] as well, pretty young, and I felt like I

[1:52:30] never

[1:52:30] >> lost in terms of they've passed.

[1:52:31] >> They're all dead. Yeah.

[1:52:32] >> Okay. Okay.

[1:52:33] >> My brother and both my parents.

[1:52:35] [clears throat and cough]

[1:52:36] >> Okay.

[1:52:36] >> And you know, I just feel like I never

[1:52:38] got to work out any of those things with

[1:52:40] them while they were here.

[1:52:42] to do it on my own and it's just hard

[1:52:45] cuz I didn't have much support and then

[1:52:48] you know they left and I just feel like

[1:52:51] I've always had to do everything by

[1:52:53] myself and you know people give me as a

[1:52:55] compliment that I'm very strong and I

[1:52:57] appreciate that but it's also very

[1:52:59] lonely to feel strong

[1:53:01] >> and feel like you have to do everything

[1:53:03] for yourself by yourself.

[1:53:05] >> Yeah, I can relate. I get it. It's

[1:53:08] exhausting. It is exhausting [gasps] and

[1:53:11] I just, you know, but I also get mad at

[1:53:13] myself because I'm also tired of the

[1:53:14] story of woe is me that these things

[1:53:16] happen to me. Things happen to people

[1:53:18] all the time and I know it's my

[1:53:19] responsibility to make my life better.

[1:53:23] >> And I feel like I I don't know how I

[1:53:25] don't know why I get so stuck though.

[1:53:26] And I can only incrementally slowly

[1:53:29] slowly get better. But

[1:53:31] >> I want a bigger life. I want more for

[1:53:33] myself and I want to be included. I

[1:53:35] would love to be in a relationship. It's

[1:53:37] been decades since I've had someone who

[1:53:40] I'd even call my boyfriend.

[1:53:41] >> Yeah.

[1:53:42] >> And I don't even know how to It's I It's

[1:53:46] like It feels like that weird spiritual

[1:53:47] law. Something that you want so much you

[1:53:49] can't have cuz you're too desperate for

[1:53:50] it.

[1:53:51] >> Yeah. I get it.

[1:53:52] >> And [snorts and clears throat] it just

[1:53:52] makes it feel more out of reach.

[1:53:54] >> When was the last time you listened to a

[1:53:56] friend who [snorts] was maybe in a

[1:53:58] similar state that you're displaying for

[1:54:00] us beautifully now?

[1:54:02] >> When was the last time? Do you remember?

[1:54:03] like a girlfriend, a boyfriend, like not

[1:54:06] romantic but just a friend who was

[1:54:07] struggling with something. Is there

[1:54:09] something in the last month somebody

[1:54:11] called you? I would imagine you'd be a

[1:54:13] beautiful friend. Is there anybody that

[1:54:16] you can remember or a moment where

[1:54:18] somebody called you cuz they were

[1:54:19] struggling with something?

[1:54:21] >> Yes, I do feel Yes.

[1:54:23] >> Okay. Who was it and when?

[1:54:26] >> Um

[1:54:28] uh a f it was a a couple actually a

[1:54:31] friend of mine friends of mine. a

[1:54:32] couple. I'm a friends with each of them

[1:54:34] individually and they're a couple.

[1:54:35] >> Okay.

[1:54:35] >> And I was camping with them actually and

[1:54:38] they had all these relationship

[1:54:40] [clears throat] problems come up and

[1:54:41] they actually asked me to help

[1:54:42] [laughter] help them get through it.

[1:54:44] >> Beautiful. So give me one example of

[1:54:46] what was shared oneonone all together.

[1:54:49] >> Like what what state were they in? What

[1:54:51] were they saying? Roughly just the cliff

[1:54:53] notes.

[1:54:54] >> Yeah. Um

[1:54:58] >> they're struggling in their

[1:54:59] relationship.

[1:54:59] >> Yes, they're struggling in their

[1:55:00] relationship. They're scared of

[1:55:01] breakups. The wife is what, you know,

[1:55:03] whatever. Right.

[1:55:04] >> She felt that he was being disrespectful

[1:55:07] of her feelings and emotions.

[1:55:09] >> Okay. And then how did he feel?

[1:55:11] >> And he felt that um he felt ambushed,

[1:55:14] that um what he was saying was being

[1:55:17] totally taken out of context and wasn't

[1:55:19] his intention.

[1:55:20] >> Got it. And if you were to describe the

[1:55:21] energy that you held for both of them,

[1:55:23] either individually or as a couple, how

[1:55:25] would you describe who you were being?

[1:55:29] I felt that I was able to relate to both

[1:55:32] of them and feel empathetic and see

[1:55:35] their perspectives and helped kind of

[1:55:37] translate them to each other a little

[1:55:39] bit.

[1:55:39] >> Great. So we could say empathy that you

[1:55:42] were being kind, you were being caring,

[1:55:43] you were being loving.

[1:55:45] >> Yes.

[1:55:45] >> Great. And then how did you describe how

[1:55:47] you relate to yourself when you got your

[1:55:50] story?

[1:55:52] >> Mad, upset with myself. Frustrated with

[1:55:55] myself,

[1:55:56] >> right? And you wonder why you're not in

[1:55:58] a relationship.

[1:56:02] You're not making space for you. So, who

[1:56:04] else could,

[1:56:08] right? You understand the dynamic. When

[1:56:10] somebody's hurt and struggling, you show

[1:56:13] up with empathy, kindness, love, care.

[1:56:15] You want to help, right? You hold space.

[1:56:17] But when you why I said right at the

[1:56:19] beginning because I could already tell

[1:56:21] the fact that you were so quick to go

[1:56:22] there that you're not accustomed to

[1:56:24] giving your space your own space to

[1:56:26] feel.

[1:56:28] >> There's no room for Derby to be human.

[1:56:31] >> Do you see that?

[1:56:32] >> Yeah.

[1:56:32] >> Now I get it because you've had the

[1:56:34] conditioning where there was the absence

[1:56:36] of people to allow that little girl to

[1:56:38] feel. So you kind of had to figure it

[1:56:40] out by yourself which is this story of

[1:56:42] isolation which is really an extension

[1:56:44] of the 1.0 survival mechanism. Right. I

[1:56:47] said as long as you think you're a

[1:56:48] separate self, you have no choice but to

[1:56:50] survive. You're just in survival, which

[1:56:52] I get you're you're exhausted.

[1:56:55] But what does somebody who is

[1:56:57] desperately asking to be heard, seen,

[1:57:00] loved, what do they need more than

[1:57:01] anything?

[1:57:05] Like they're they've got feelings.

[1:57:06] They're human. They're a young girl.

[1:57:09] Like what are they craving?

[1:57:12] >> Support, love, openness.

[1:57:14] >> Yeah.

[1:57:15] >> Acceptance,

[1:57:16] >> right? And what are you bringing

[1:57:19] >> to myself or to other people?

[1:57:21] >> No. To to to that part of you.

[1:57:26] >> Yeah. Um

[1:57:30] >> sometimes I have those things, but other

[1:57:32] times I'm frustrated and and um

[1:57:34] >> yeah, you said it mad. Like if we were

[1:57:36] to put it under the one like one way

[1:57:39] you're relating yourself, it's judgment.

[1:57:41] >> You started your whole conversation and

[1:57:43] you're just tired cuz you've been

[1:57:44] working on yourself. [laughter] When I

[1:57:46] ask everybody who here wants to develop

[1:57:47] more self- loveve as a joke, as a trick,

[1:57:49] what I was showing is that means that

[1:57:51] there's a part of you that doesn't feel

[1:57:52] lovable, which of course is human. It's

[1:57:54] okay, but I want you to get it.

[1:57:55] >> Yes.

[1:57:56] >> So, who works on themselves?

[1:57:58] >> Yeah. People who feel broken. [snorts]

[1:58:00] >> Okay. Now, make it personalized.

[1:58:03] >> Yeah.

[1:58:04] >> Why are you working on yourself?

[1:58:08] >> Cuz I want to be acceptable.

[1:58:10] >> But Right. So, that's the outcome that

[1:58:13] you're trying to garner. means that

[1:58:15] underneath it, what does that make you

[1:58:16] now?

[1:58:18] >> Unacceptable, broken,

[1:58:20] >> haven't been in a relationship for

[1:58:22] decades, no idea why,

[1:58:25] right? So, what if the relationship that

[1:58:28] you're here to actually develop and work

[1:58:30] on is that which I know it sounds so

[1:58:32] cliche, but really is the one with

[1:58:34] yourself in the absence of other people

[1:58:36] to provide it for you. We saw with

[1:58:39] Lisbet and with Kalin that they they

[1:58:41] were both dependent on outsourcing the

[1:58:43] permission for them to show up. You

[1:58:46] don't have that. You've taken a slightly

[1:58:47] higher karma incarnation which is it's

[1:58:50] up to you.

[1:58:53] Slightly different, right? You don't

[1:58:55] like I'm the same like my whole life was

[1:58:57] completely defined by everything's up to

[1:58:59] me. I my parents died. I'm an only

[1:59:01] child. I got no one, right? So I became

[1:59:04] fiercely independent.

[1:59:06] And then it got to the point where I

[1:59:08] realized this is all a joke. Like how

[1:59:10] can it be up to me? I'm consciousness

[1:59:11] itself. I am part of everything. The

[1:59:14] isolated part of me that thinks that

[1:59:16] it's all up to me is really just that

[1:59:18] it's an isolated idea.

[1:59:21] So your opportunity as consciousness

[1:59:23] 2.0, you said that you so want to be

[1:59:25] 2.0. Great. The opportunity is to have

[1:59:28] 1.0 to hold space for.

[1:59:32] You can't get to be 2.0, you know, which

[1:59:34] is the space of love, of power that

[1:59:36] we've just seen, of complete and utter

[1:59:38] innate abundance without the the

[1:59:42] catalyst for it.

[1:59:45] So, you were like, "Fuck it. I don't

[1:59:47] want people to help me to discover the

[1:59:49] capacity I have to love. I want to

[1:59:51] figure it out by myself." So, I'm going

[1:59:54] to be left as a little girl who thinks

[1:59:56] that she doesn't have anybody to take

[1:59:58] care of so that I can show up for her.

[2:00:04] If I told you that you were going to

[2:00:06] have the most incredible relationship in

[2:00:08] a month with this most loving guy, a guy

[2:00:10] that just paid you so much attention

[2:00:12] that just listened to you in a way that

[2:00:14] adored you for flaws and all that

[2:00:16] regardless of your lutil phase and

[2:00:18] whatever you go through and [laughter]

[2:00:20] you know all the [ __ ] right? Like that

[2:00:22] he just adors you. I [ __ ] pay

[2:00:24] attention.

[2:00:25] >> Yeah, he knows about the ludal phase.

[2:00:27] [laughter]

[2:00:29] >> I [snorts] go through all of them.

[2:00:32] What would that feel like if that's

[2:00:33] coming your way in like a month or two?

[2:00:38] >> Be honest.

[2:00:40] [laughter]

[2:00:41] >> It's a combination of

[2:00:42] >> I know. And that's why I said be honest

[2:00:44] cuz I know what's in there.

[2:00:46] >> Yeah.

[2:00:47] There's relief and pressure at the same

[2:00:50] time.

[2:00:50] >> Correct. Now, that part I wanted her to

[2:00:52] pay attention to is the pressure which

[2:00:53] is really pointing to what? What's the

[2:00:55] pressure?

[2:01:00] What's the pressure coming from?

[2:01:03] Prince Charming's on the way. Where's

[2:01:05] the pressure coming from?

[2:01:06] >> To be worthy of it.

[2:01:08] >> Do you see it?

[2:01:10] It's right there. It defines her. That's

[2:01:13] why she can't be in a relationship.

[2:01:14] She's not ready.

[2:01:17] Says who?

[2:01:18] [snorts]

[2:01:19] >> Says me. I know. I know this. I know all

[2:01:22] this. It doesn't I can't stop.

[2:01:23] >> You don't know it to [laughter] the

[2:01:24] degree that I'm wanting you to discover

[2:01:26] with me. with a man who's willing to

[2:01:28] hold space with you, who loves you, even

[2:01:31] the part of you that doesn't love

[2:01:32] itself, which is your gift to yourself.

[2:01:36] I can love you all day, but it's going

[2:01:38] to be insufficient eventually.

[2:01:42] That young girl is asking you to show up

[2:01:44] and love her.

[2:01:46] You love you with all your flaws.

[2:01:48] There's nothing for you to work on other

[2:01:50] than your own illusion that there's a

[2:01:52] part of you to work on.

[2:01:54] Where where is that part?

[2:01:58] What what part is what part of the I

[2:01:59] need

[2:02:00] >> what what part of you said you've been

[2:02:01] working on yourself. Well, like what are

[2:02:02] you working on?

[2:02:03] >> I'm working on ex accepting the shadow.

[2:02:07] I'm working on I know

[2:02:08] >> you apparently suck at that

[2:02:10] >> apparently. So, [laughter]

[2:02:13] like

[2:02:13] >> where where's the shadow? I mean, it's

[2:02:15] pretty dark right now, but where's the

[2:02:16] shadow?

[2:02:21] >> What's the What's so horrible about

[2:02:23] dark? [laughter]

[2:02:28] In this moment, I don't even know.

[2:02:30] >> Oh, okay. Good. We made great progress.

[2:02:32] [laughter]

[2:02:34] >> There's nothing terribly horrible about

[2:02:36] me.

[2:02:36] >> Really? I'm shocked. [laughter]

[2:02:42] >> Yeah. What about if there's literally

[2:02:44] nothing that's terrible about you?

[2:02:46] >> Yeah.

[2:02:46] >> What if the most beautiful thing about

[2:02:49] you is that you sometimes think that

[2:02:51] there's something terrible about you?

[2:02:57] Does everyone get what I just said,

[2:03:00] Darby? What if the most beautiful thing

[2:03:02] about you is that sometimes you think

[2:03:04] there's something terrible about you?

[2:03:09] What would that make available for you

[2:03:11] right now?

[2:03:15] What if that's your greatest asset?

[2:03:17] >> How is it? How can it be?

[2:03:20] [laughter and snorts]

[2:03:21] That's why it's a question. what would

[2:03:23] become available for this is so jarring

[2:03:26] for her orientation. You see, that's why

[2:03:29] I said if Prince Charming shows up, I

[2:03:30] knew and I'm glad that she was honest

[2:03:32] [laughter] that it would be both

[2:03:34] relieving like that's what she

[2:03:35] desperately craves, right? She

[2:03:37] desperately craves, please somebody love

[2:03:39] me. But because she doesn't.

[2:03:44] And so I'm glad that she recognized the

[2:03:46] pressure because if someone amazing

[2:03:47] showed up, she would feel completely

[2:03:50] inadequate.

[2:03:52] Not because she is, but that is a

[2:03:54] self-fulfilling prophecy that that guy

[2:03:56] could adore her. Like I said, I could

[2:03:58] love her for for the next few months,

[2:04:00] but eventually she would somehow have to

[2:04:02] sabotage that because that's how you're

[2:04:06] so so committed. It's the ultimate

[2:04:08] addiction. You can violate sometimes you

[2:04:11] can sorry, you can alter your behaviors

[2:04:13] sometimes, right? Beginning of the year,

[2:04:15] you've like been a lazy [ __ ] and

[2:04:17] you're like, "But no, this is my year.

[2:04:18] I'm going to get in shape." which you

[2:04:20] never do cuz it's all [ __ ] But you

[2:04:22] can overcome your habits for a minute,

[2:04:24] right? But you can never violate your

[2:04:26] identity. So she'll be nice for a

[2:04:29] minute. She'll be the perfect girlfriend

[2:04:30] decades, you know? I mean, it's a little

[2:04:32] exaggeration, but whenever her last

[2:04:34] boyfriend was

[2:04:36] like, she would have been the perfect

[2:04:37] girlfriend as a compensation for, god

[2:04:39] forbid, he actually finds out that I've

[2:04:41] got shadows, cuz that would have been a

[2:04:43] shock to another human being, right?

[2:04:45] Like really? I thought you were [ __ ]

[2:04:46] perfect.

[2:04:47] >> [laughter]

[2:04:48] >> So this [snorts] is your opportunity.

[2:04:50] Your gift is to integrate the idea that

[2:04:52] you think there's something wrong with

[2:04:53] you.

[2:04:55] >> Yeah. I felt I no longer identify with

[2:04:57] not loving myself. Like I do love

[2:04:59] myself. I do still think there's issues

[2:05:02] and I have anger. Anger is something

[2:05:04] probably I'm quick to anger. But um but

[2:05:07] I do love myself. I I feel like I can be

[2:05:10] loved by someone. I don't part of me

[2:05:13] probably but it's so fragile.

[2:05:16] >> Okay. Yeah, that's probably what it is

[2:05:17] because

[2:05:18] >> and I want you to consider I get it like

[2:05:19] it's it's it sounds great. You love

[2:05:21] yourself. You don't. There's parts of

[2:05:23] you love, you know, you're a nice

[2:05:24] person. You helped the couple. You were

[2:05:26] camping. You're sweet. You're kind.

[2:05:27] You're standing up here. You're you're a

[2:05:29] nice lady, right? You're very sweet. But

[2:05:32] there's a part of you that is like what

[2:05:33] you call the shadow that you've been

[2:05:35] working on that you don't love.

[2:05:37] Otherwise, why would you be working on

[2:05:39] it?

[2:05:40] The implicit energy there is there's

[2:05:43] something wrong. That's the pressure

[2:05:45] part. Do you see?

[2:05:46] >> Mhm.

[2:05:47] >> Love is all inclusive. It's not it's not

[2:05:49] like

[2:05:51] specific to one area. This is the

[2:05:54] beauty, folks, of being human. See, if

[2:05:55] you were perfect, you would never have

[2:05:57] to learn love. You You all can love the

[2:06:01] parts of you that like, you know, your

[2:06:02] perfect jaw lines and your great hair,

[2:06:04] your blue eyes, your perfect boobs, or

[2:06:07] whatever it is that you like about

[2:06:08] yourselves,

[2:06:09] right? That's easy. But the [ __ ]

[2:06:12] muffin top and the sailor light and the

[2:06:14] nose hairs or whatever it is, that's the

[2:06:17] opportunity for love.

[2:06:20] Like otherwise it's not love. It's just

[2:06:22] you know it's like it's easy. It's

[2:06:23] convenience.

[2:06:25] So you really have chosen I would say

[2:06:28] one of the most advanced karmic

[2:06:30] incarnations

[2:06:32] which is true true capacity for love of

[2:06:35] self.

[2:06:39] That's the precursor to and then

[2:06:40] everybody else stepping in line who

[2:06:42] wants to join you in the same dynamic.

[2:06:46] But you've got it the other way around.

[2:06:47] You've got to It's like I can remember a

[2:06:49] friend of mine who was like it used to

[2:06:50] be a great yogi and then she was out for

[2:06:52] a while, busy life, whatever, injured

[2:06:54] herself. And I said, "Oh, have you

[2:06:55] started going back to yoga?" And she

[2:06:56] said, "Oh, no, no, I can't go to yoga."

[2:06:58] I'm like, "Why not?" She says, "Well,

[2:06:59] cuz I got to practice at home first."

[2:07:02] I'm like, "Wait, what?" Like, "Well, I

[2:07:03] can't go to yoga cuz I'm not very good

[2:07:05] at it right now." I'm like, "What the

[2:07:06] [ __ ] do you think you do at the club?"

[2:07:08] [laughter]

[2:07:11] Like, do you see it's like like you

[2:07:14] could spend the rest of your life trying

[2:07:16] to perfect the shadow which is all

[2:07:17] illusory until such time that you're

[2:07:19] finally ready for, you know, which point

[2:07:21] it's too late.

[2:07:23] Do you see? Give someone the opportunity

[2:07:26] to love you exactly the way you are.

[2:07:30] What would that feel like?

[2:07:33] >> Safe. Say again.

[2:07:36] >> Safe.

[2:07:36] >> Yeah.

[2:07:37] >> Calming. Calming.

[2:07:39] >> Which is your experience to generate for

[2:07:41] yourself,

[2:07:44] >> right?

[2:07:45] You feel how your body is starting to

[2:07:47] shift.

[2:07:49] What's What are you feeling?

[2:07:52] >> Well, I started to get mad at myself

[2:07:53] again cuz again, [laughter]

[2:07:55] >> yeah,

[2:07:55] >> I can't make that. Why can't I calm

[2:07:57] myself and love myself and do all the

[2:07:59] things? The voice that the voice that's

[2:08:01] saying that is the part of you that I'm

[2:08:03] asking to integrate. You're not saying

[2:08:05] that.

[2:08:06] >> You're not like, I'm going to listen to

[2:08:07] Peter Chrome for a minute and then I'm

[2:08:09] going to come up with this like judgment

[2:08:11] of myself consciously.

[2:08:13] >> No, it's just automatic. Do you see? And

[2:08:15] that automated part of you is reactive.

[2:08:18] You don't have to show up for that. It's

[2:08:20] that little girl who's desperately

[2:08:22] trying to get she there's so much at

[2:08:24] stake for her because there's no one

[2:08:26] there. She's terrified.

[2:08:29] which is part of the hurt that then

[2:08:31] leads to the anger. Anger is a

[2:08:32] protection mechanism, right? You hit a

[2:08:34] dog enough, it's going to start barking

[2:08:35] and it was not a bad puppy,

[2:08:37] >> right?

[2:08:38] >> It learned to protect itself. You've

[2:08:40] learned to protect. There's so much at

[2:08:41] stake for you because everyone's gone

[2:08:45] that you can't afford for anybody else

[2:08:48] to leave.

[2:08:50] Do you see that?

[2:08:52] >> Yes.

[2:08:53] >> That's so much [ __ ] pressure.

[2:08:55] >> It is.

[2:08:57] It's unfair. It wasn't that little

[2:08:59] girl's fault.

[2:09:02] I'm here listening. I'm with you. And

[2:09:05] you have the opportunity to afford that

[2:09:07] for yourself now. And whether people

[2:09:09] like with Lizbe, whether people listen

[2:09:11] to her voice or not, it doesn't matter

[2:09:13] anymore for her. Of course, she wants

[2:09:15] them to, but if they're not there, like

[2:09:16] I one of my lines for myself so early on

[2:09:19] to Andre's question about these moments

[2:09:21] I've had. I realized how much when I was

[2:09:23] younger, I tried to prove myself. I

[2:09:25] tried to show people how funny I was,

[2:09:27] cool I was, smart I were, whatever. Like

[2:09:28] in England, we call it like a little bit

[2:09:30] of a poser, right? Like I was a great

[2:09:32] soccer player, but I was so great that I

[2:09:33] didn't have to show off too much, but I

[2:09:34] wanted to make sure that you could see

[2:09:36] how good. Like it was [ __ ]

[2:09:37] exhausting. [laughter]

[2:09:38] >> It's like you [ __ ] see me or you

[2:09:39] don't,

[2:09:40] >> right? And so I came up with this line.

[2:09:42] It's like, if you can't see me, it's not

[2:09:44] my job to show you.

[2:09:47] Do you see the power in that?

[2:09:49] >> Yeah.

[2:09:50] >> So stop trying to get people to see you

[2:09:52] and you see you.

[2:09:55] you love you. I promise you, you will

[2:09:57] have a line of suitors that you never

[2:09:59] ever could possibly imagine when you're

[2:10:02] okay with you.

[2:10:05] Including the part of you that's hard on

[2:10:06] yourself cuz nobody here apart from you

[2:10:08] is hard on themselves,

[2:10:10] [laughter and snorts]

[2:10:11] right? Everybody's just mastered self

[2:10:13] love.

[2:10:14] >> It's easy.

[2:10:17] >> So, what's the opportunity for Derby

[2:10:20] now?

[2:10:23] Who do you get to be from this from this

[2:10:26] conversation moving forward?

[2:10:29] >> I don't know. I think I have to take it

[2:10:32] all a lot less seriously.

[2:10:34] >> Sounds like a little more joy.

[2:10:36] >> Yeah.

[2:10:37] >> Careful.

[2:10:39] >> Careful. [laughter]

[2:10:40] >> And if you're not taking it so

[2:10:41] seriously, what might that mean in the

[2:10:43] way you relate to yourself?

[2:10:45] >> I'll give myself a break. I won't be so

[2:10:47] hard on myself.

[2:10:48] >> That sounds like a miserable life. But

[2:10:50] anyway, have [laughter] at it.

[2:10:54] Okay. And if you're not so hard on

[2:10:56] yourself and you're having a little bit

[2:10:57] more fun, what might become available?

[2:10:59] [snorts]

[2:11:00] >> Everything. Everything can loosen up and

[2:11:01] become available.

[2:11:02] >> Right.

[2:11:04] That's all you're here to discover. It's

[2:11:07] all made up.

[2:11:08] >> I know. [laughter]

[2:11:13] [snorts]

[2:11:13] >> You're just really good at making up

[2:11:14] worst case scenarios.

[2:11:17] I remember when I started working with

[2:11:18] some of my athletes 20 years ago, one of

[2:11:21] my golfers, he was on the trajectory, we

[2:11:23] ended up tripling his winnings. Right?

[2:11:25] If you're a company and you triple your

[2:11:26] winnings in 18 months, that's pretty

[2:11:28] significant, right? But one of the

[2:11:30] catalysts for him is like 3 months into

[2:11:32] our work together, he sent me a text one

[2:11:34] day just as he'd like gone from like

[2:11:36] missing cuts, missing cuts, missing cuts

[2:11:38] to like a top 10, like not making any

[2:11:40] money to suddenly picking up a quarter

[2:11:41] of a million bucks for doing something

[2:11:43] that he loved. He said, "I just got it."

[2:11:46] This is his text. I just got it. It

[2:11:48] comes down to whoever has the best

[2:11:50] imagination.

[2:11:55] That girl had a lot of time to create

[2:11:57] worst case scenarios as part of her

[2:11:59] imagination.

[2:12:02] Lisbette made up the belief through her

[2:12:04] imagination that her voice carries no

[2:12:06] weight. So then it didn't.

[2:12:09] Kalin believed through his imagination

[2:12:11] that he has no power, that he can't

[2:12:13] upset people. And so that's the way it

[2:12:15] is. And so it is. And you made up

[2:12:18] through your beautiful imagination that

[2:12:20] there's something wrong with you. There

[2:12:21] must be cuz all these people leave.

[2:12:24] Clearly, it's your fault. So I'll start

[2:12:27] working on myself.

[2:12:32] I hate to be the one to break it to

[2:12:34] Darby. There's nothing wrong with you.

[2:12:37] And even the part of you that thinks

[2:12:39] there is is one of your most beautiful

[2:12:41] attributes.

[2:12:44] because it makes you human.

[2:12:47] Are you willing to join us?

[2:12:49] >> Definitely

[2:12:50] >> in your beautifully flawed self.

[2:12:53] >> Absolutely.

[2:12:54] >> Thank you.

[2:12:55] >> Thank you.

[2:12:57] [applause]

[2:13:02] [applause]

[2:13:05] >> Okay. Who could relate to that? Any of

[2:13:06] you like here with slightly

[2:13:08] disillusional idea that there's

[2:13:10] something wrong with you? [laughter]

[2:13:12] Yeah, I told you at the beginning you're

[2:13:13] all [ __ ]

[2:13:16] I'm such an inspirational speaker.

[2:13:18] [laughter]

[2:13:22] It's your best. It's your greatest part.

[2:13:24] Like I think sometimes it's so funny. We

[2:13:26] get so spiritual that we forget the most

[2:13:29] spiritual thing you can do is be fully

[2:13:31] human.

[2:13:34] Be here. You signed up to feel and

[2:13:36] experience, not get it right. Imagine

[2:13:39] going back to the gods like with all of

[2:13:41] us like you know as this luminous

[2:13:43] beautiful light bodies. It's like man

[2:13:45] did you feel shame? [ __ ] that was

[2:13:47] [ __ ] that was awesome. No, I avoided

[2:13:49] the [ __ ] out of that. [laughter] Oh, you

[2:13:51] missed out. You know it's like right.

[2:13:53] It's like feel it all.

[2:13:58] You guys feel like you've embraced a

[2:14:00] little bit more of yourself today.

[2:14:05] Man, it's a it's a gift to have you in

[2:14:06] the space and just as a brother, you

[2:14:08] know, you like every time we're

[2:14:09] together, it's just non-stop play and

[2:14:12] jokes and to me that lightness

[2:14:13] >> Yeah.

[2:14:14] >> Um that childlike joy is what's

[2:14:16] available on the other side of the of

[2:14:18] all these things inside of us.

[2:14:20] >> Absolutely.

[2:14:21] >> And um so thank you for the gift of your

[2:14:23] presence and uh you're an incredible

[2:14:25] listener.

[2:14:26] >> Thank you. And um I think that is a

[2:14:28] quality that is radically transformative

[2:14:30] of all of our relationships and it's a

[2:14:32] it's a great thing to model and to take

[2:14:35] inspiration from.

[2:14:36] >> Thank you.

[2:14:36] >> Um it's uh you've been doing this for a

[2:14:40] while and

[2:14:42] um I'm just so excited for you as your

[2:14:44] book eventually gets released as your

[2:14:46] masterminds and your work continues to

[2:14:48] spread. Yeah.

[2:14:49] >> And it is uh it was just your birthday.

[2:14:52] >> It was two days ago. Yeah.

[2:14:56] Yeah.

[2:14:57] >> Can we sing Peter a little happy

[2:14:58] birthday?

[2:14:58] >> Let's [ __ ] go.

[2:14:59] >> Let's go.

[2:15:00] >> None of this cheap. Oh, really? So rude

[2:15:06] [laughter]

[2:15:07] to

[2:15:12] >> Come on, we're free. [laughter]

[2:15:20] Happy birthday

[2:15:22] to you

[2:15:25] >> and many more.

[2:15:30] >> Thank you guys. You know what is so

[2:15:32] beautiful in terms of the world of

[2:15:33] manifestation. Very similar to Derby.

[2:15:36] You know, I told my story a little bit.

[2:15:37] Thank you. You going to eat it?

[2:15:39] >> Um

[2:15:41] um I'm working on my figure. I can't

[2:15:42] touch it. [laughter]

[2:15:45] Um orphaned at a young age. Mom dies

[2:15:48] when I'm seven. dad dies when I was 17.

[2:15:49] So very much the world that I lived in,

[2:15:51] the orientation to my own nervous system

[2:15:53] was I'm alone, right? Like literally. So

[2:15:55] it became very convincing, very similar

[2:15:57] to what Darby was sharing. So it's

[2:15:58] definitely all up to me. So yesterday I

[2:16:01] got like, you know, two plus people

[2:16:04] singing me happy birthday at my live

[2:16:05] event. Last year I was in London. We had

[2:16:08] an arena of like 550 people singing me

[2:16:10] for my birthday.

[2:16:11] >> So we're not enough is basically

[2:16:12] basically. So what have you got from the

[2:16:15] conversation that you're all amazing?

[2:16:16] Let's just go straight back to you're

[2:16:18] all completely inadequate, [laughter]

[2:16:21] especially collectively.

[2:16:23] So what's so beautiful as a living

[2:16:25] example of how I'm part of this with

[2:16:27] you, right? I never like to put myself

[2:16:29] on a pedestal. And one of the things I

[2:16:30] really take pride in is as much as my

[2:16:32] star continues to rise and I get stopped

[2:16:35] in the most the strangest of places,

[2:16:37] right? Walking through airports at a

[2:16:39] [ __ ] random cave in IA, three people

[2:16:41] like doing some ceremony and they're

[2:16:42] like Peter Cron. I'm like, "What the

[2:16:44] fuck?" [laughter]

[2:16:46] The thing that I love is that I really

[2:16:48] take pride in the fact that I just I

[2:16:50] don't like to be the prophet, right?

[2:16:53] Like I love to be with it. Like last

[2:16:55] night there was like 70 people lined up,

[2:16:57] hugs, photos, selfies, you know, like

[2:17:00] I've gone to people, peers, friends of

[2:17:02] mine that I work with do events and not

[2:17:04] naming names, but you know, they've sort

[2:17:06] of become removed, right? And so I just

[2:17:09] really want to acknowledge this moment

[2:17:10] for myself with you that this is

[2:17:12] something that wasn't previously

[2:17:13] available to Peter Cron of old, right?

[2:17:15] That I would be by myself would justify

[2:17:18] it. It's okay. I don't need to be with

[2:17:20] people. I've become so good at being by

[2:17:22] myself. And so it's really just so nice

[2:17:24] that my life is starting to emulate what

[2:17:27] I really speak to, which is unity

[2:17:29] consciousness, right? That I can

[2:17:30] celebrate me and life, good and bad,

[2:17:33] with people. So, thank you for being

[2:17:35] here and celebrating me because that was

[2:17:37] something that I typically would have

[2:17:38] shunned and and made it like a a sort of

[2:17:42] a highuting version of like I'm totally

[2:17:45] self-sufficient, right? So, thank you

[2:17:47] for being here with me. It's a it's and

[2:17:49] your kind words, my friend. It's it's a

[2:17:52] beautiful evening. Thank you for

[2:17:53] entrusting me with your stories, the

[2:17:54] three people who kindly shared. I hope

[2:17:56] you all got something from it. But

[2:17:58] you're listening, I can tell the amount

[2:18:00] of attention that you're giving me,

[2:18:01] which really is not lost on me. It's

[2:18:03] very meaningful. And one of like what

[2:18:05] Andre said, you know, one of the gifts

[2:18:06] that I really love is listening. And for

[2:18:08] those of you who want to understand

[2:18:10] listening, people like, "Dude, how do

[2:18:11] you remember how like it's on the other

[2:18:13] side of survival, right? So 2.0 inherent

[2:18:17] is the capacity to listen because

[2:18:19] listening is a byproduct of presence.

[2:18:22] And if in you're in survival mode, you

[2:18:24] can't fully be present. So if you

[2:18:26] struggle with names, if you struggle to,

[2:18:28] you know, remember where you left

[2:18:30] whatever it is or what you wanted to do,

[2:18:32] just consider maybe you're just too busy

[2:18:35] trying to survive and perhaps give your

[2:18:37] grace. Give yourself grace. It's okay.

[2:18:39] And just to slow down. So first of all,

[2:18:41] thank you for being with me. Thank you

[2:18:42] for giving me your attention. I know I

[2:18:44] download quickly and for some people

[2:18:45] that can be a little overwhelming, but

[2:18:47] trust that subconsciously you've embied

[2:18:49] what you needed to get. And um and

[2:18:52] otherwise you can find me. And if you're

[2:18:53] interested in the 2.0 0 world that I'm

[2:18:55] revealing. I would love for you to all

[2:18:57] come and join. So

[2:18:58] >> beautiful.

[2:18:59] >> Thank you. And thank you for the

[2:19:00] singing. [applause]

[2:19:04] >> Beautiful to be with you all.

[2:19:06] >> I believe we have some we have some

[2:19:08] treats. We have some cake to share. So

[2:19:11] >> we have

[2:19:12] >> Let's [ __ ] go.

[2:19:14] >> It's all of our birthday.

[2:19:16] >> Yes. Yay.

[2:19:17] >> It's your spiritual birthdays.

[2:19:20] [laughter]

[2:19:22] >> Okay. Amazing.

[2:19:23] >> All right. Amazing. Wait, let's do an

[2:19:24] outro, you guys. Can I do that?

[2:19:27] >> Okay. Yeah. Don't [ __ ] it up. Do

[2:19:30] >> Yeah. Yeah. I'll try I'll try my best.

[2:19:31] Just Everyone keeps walking in front of

[2:19:32] the camera.

[2:19:33] >> Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Stop.

[2:19:34] >> Uh, everybody, thank you so much. No.

[2:19:36] See it happen again. [laughter]

[2:19:38] It's okay.

[2:19:41] >> This is a podcast, guys. [laughter] I

[2:19:43] have a job to do here. Okay.

[2:19:45] >> Yeah. Trying to make some money. It

[2:19:47] doesn't want to become an Uber driver,

[2:19:49] [laughter]

[2:19:50] but it would be okay.

[2:19:52] Thank you so much for tuning into this

[2:19:54] episode of the Know Thyself podcast.

[2:19:56] It's been a joy to have you with us,

[2:19:59] Peter, and everybody in the live

[2:20:00] audience. And until next time, be well.

[2:20:02] We did it. That's it.

[2:20:06] >> Let's go. Let's [ __ ] live.

[2:20:08] >> Let's be completely flawed.

[2:20:16] [music]

[2:20:26] >> [music]

Andre Duqum
ArtistAndre Duqum

André Duqum hosts the Know Thyself Podcast, a long-form interview program exploring philosophy, self-inquiry, and liberation from psychological illusion. His work centers on what h…

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Survival-modeHuman-2-0Childhood-identitySubconscious-patternsUncertainty

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Domande frequenti

Crone describes Human 1.0 as the survival orientation most people live from, a default setting that calculates, predicts and protects an identity formed in childhood. Human 2.0 is not an upgrade of that identity but a recognition of who we are beneath it, which he calls the essence of the person. He presents them as two entirely different worlds rather than two levels of the same one.
In Crone's framing, survival today is mostly psychological rather than physical, since most people in comfortable circumstances are not short of food or shelter. The mind protects an identity built early in life by constantly trying to predict and manage outcomes like losing a job, upsetting a spouse or losing money. The threat is often installed rather than real.
According to the video's description of Crone's work, self-improvement can only refine a limited self, leaving the underlying survival lens in place. If the belief that generates a problem travels with you, the same problem reappears in new circumstances. Crone's focus is on dissolving those beliefs rather than rearranging life's external details.
After a breakup that echoed the early loss of both his parents, Crone found that the honest answer to every anxious question was simply "I don't know." Accepting that life is inherently uncertain released his need to predict outcomes, which let him be present with another person instead of being consumed by fear of losing them.
Across live coaching, Crone points out how often people place the source of their feelings in events and in other people. When attendees saw that beliefs like feeling powerless or unworthy live in the mind rather than being part of their actual makeup, the lens loosened and new choices became visible.
Peter Crone is widely known as the Mind Architect and has spent more than three decades helping people see through the subconscious patterns that shape their lives. In this video, recorded during the first Know Thyself Retreat, he joined André Duqum for a live podcast and coaching session, his fourth conversation with the host.
No, according to Crone. He explicitly says that Human 2.0 is not an upgrade and that his work is not about improving you as a person. Instead, it aims to reveal the essence of who you are beneath the identity formed in childhood.

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