Iyanla Vanzant's quote, "Don't try to figure out what other people want from you. Figure out what you want from yourself," invites us to embark on a profound journey of self-discovery. In a world often filled with external expectations and societal pressures, the stakes of this journey are high. To truly know ourselves and to live authentically is not merely a personal endeavor; it is a radical act of self-affirmation that can lead to greater fulfillment and clarity in our lives.
This call to self-exploration resonates deeply in our contemporary context, where the cacophony of voices—friends, family, colleagues, and social media—can drown out our inner voice. The challenge lies in discerning our own desires from the noise surrounding us. By prioritizing our own needs and aspirations, we cultivate a sense of agency that empowers us to navigate life with intention and purpose. This journey is not just about self-assertion; it is about aligning our actions with our true selves, fostering a deeper connection to our inner wisdom.
The image / the metaphor
The imagery in Vanzant's quote evokes a sense of introspection and clarity. The verbs "try to figure out" and "figure out" suggest a process of inquiry, a gentle yet persistent search for understanding. The phrase "what you want from yourself" implies a deep, personal exploration that requires us to look inward rather than outward. This metaphorical landscape invites us to envision a journey where we are both the traveler and the destination, navigating through the complexities of our own desires and aspirations.
In the speaker's tradition
Iyanla Vanzant's teachings are deeply rooted in the New Thought tradition, which emphasizes the power of thought and the importance of self-awareness in shaping our reality. Concepts such as dharma, or one's true purpose, resonate with her message of self-discovery. In this context, understanding what we want from ourselves is akin to recognizing our unique path in life, a journey that aligns with our highest potential. This self-awareness is not merely an intellectual exercise; it is a spiritual practice that invites us to connect with our inner truth.
In her book "In the Meantime," Vanzant explores the idea of being in a transitional space, a liminal zone where we can reflect on our desires and intentions. This concept parallels the Buddhist notion of sunyata, or emptiness, which encourages us to let go of preconceived notions and societal expectations. By embracing this emptiness, we create space for our authentic selves to emerge, allowing us to discern our true desires without the weight of external influences. Vanzant's work thus serves as a bridge between self-awareness and spiritual growth, inviting us to cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Living the teaching
Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a young professional navigating the pressures of career advancement. In a competitive environment, the temptation to conform to the expectations of colleagues and superiors can be overwhelming. By reflecting on Vanzant's message, this individual might pause to ask themselves what they truly want from their career. This introspection could lead to a decision to pursue a path that aligns more closely with their passions and values, rather than simply chasing external validation.
In a different context, imagine a relationship where one partner feels the weight of the other's expectations. By embracing Vanzant's teaching, they might engage in a candid conversation about their own needs and desires, rather than suppressing them to maintain harmony. This act of self-advocacy not only fosters personal growth but also deepens the relationship, as both partners learn to honor each other's authentic selves. In both scenarios, the journey of self-discovery becomes a transformative practice, enriching not only the individual but also their connections with others.
A reflection
As we contemplate Vanzant's profound words, we are invited to reflect on our own lives: What do we truly want from ourselves? This question serves as a guiding light, encouraging us to explore our desires, aspirations, and the barriers that may obscure our vision. In this moment of reflection, we can begin to discern the difference between what we genuinely seek and what we feel obligated to pursue. By embracing this inquiry, we open ourselves to the possibility of living more authentically and joyfully.


