Transcript
[0:00] Welcome to the Practice You podcast. My
[0:03] name is Elena Brower.
[0:06] >> [music]
[0:11] [music]
[0:12] >> Let's dive into today's conversation
[0:15] regarding life's myriad transitions and
[0:18] how we refine our responses
[0:21] in our [music] relationships, our
[0:23] wellness, our households, our work, and
[0:25] in our practices.
[0:27] You are invited to learn and love
[0:30] >> [music]
[0:30] >> and listen with me. Welcome to Practice
[0:33] You.
[0:41] Welcome back to the podcast. I have a
[0:44] returning guest, a glorious human whom I
[0:47] respect and admire greatly. His name is
[0:49] Cory Allen. His new book is called The
[0:52] Quiet Age, creating a calm life in a
[0:56] chaotic world.
[0:58] Cory, it is so nice to welcome you back.
[1:00] I'll get to your bio, but I just want to
[1:02] say welcome back to the podcast and
[1:04] thank you for your time.
[1:05] >> It's so nice to be back. Thank you so
[1:07] much for having me. I'm I've really been
[1:08] looking forward to hanging out with you
[1:11] again today.
[1:12] >> Yeah, we've had a podcast together here
[1:16] some many months ago. We even had a
[1:19] really sweet talk for the launch of my
[1:20] book called Nothing some months ago,
[1:22] which I'll include in the show notes,
[1:24] too, cuz it's so nice.
[1:26] You're an author, mindfulness expert,
[1:29] speaker, you're a podcast host of your
[1:31] own, helping people slow down, think
[1:33] clearly,
[1:35] and live with intention.
[1:37] You're a daily meditator for over 25
[1:39] years. Your words reach millions of
[1:41] people each week on Instagram.
[1:44] And your daily insights have become a
[1:46] trusted source of clarity in an
[1:48] overstimulated world.
[1:50] Reading your book and being your friend
[1:53] and also having just emerged from my
[1:55] first 10-day Vipassana with
[1:58] Diego Perez, also known as Young Pablo,
[2:01] our dear mutual friend, and his wife
[2:03] Sarah.
[2:05] Both of them were the assistant teachers
[2:07] on this 10 day Vipassana.
[2:09] So, I'm coming into this interview,
[2:11] Corey, with
[2:13] a great deal of reverence and care and
[2:16] intentionality and also quiet.
[2:19] It is such a joy to be talking about
[2:22] this book because it is in fact a force
[2:25] of quiet. And dear listeners, you open
[2:28] the book, you'll find facing pages are
[2:31] white and the sort of main pages on the
[2:34] right are black.
[2:35] And as you turn the pages, the pages are
[2:39] deeply simple.
[2:41] Um I've sent a copy to my kid as well
[2:44] so that he can just read one page a day
[2:47] or I send pictures of the pages if I
[2:49] feel like it. Each insight,
[2:52] and I'm going to read a few right now,
[2:54] provide worlds of space for us in our
[2:58] minds and our bodies and our hearts and
[3:00] our emotions and our relations.
[3:02] And I'll start to share them with you
[3:04] now.
[3:05] Learning to step back from urgency
[3:07] culture, page 12,
[3:09] isn't about ghosting the world and
[3:12] ignoring your responsibilities.
[3:14] It's about learning how to take back
[3:16] part of your life so you can prioritize
[3:19] your happiness and stop feeling so
[3:21] overwhelmed and undernourished.
[3:25] That one has been walking with me
[3:27] as I have completely refabricated my
[3:29] calendar since I got home.
[3:32] I have no more than three items on my
[3:34] calendar a day, max. Usually it's two.
[3:38] Today it's two.
[3:40] The days are so much more spacious and
[3:42] alive. My meals are actually taken
[3:45] seated quietly.
[3:48] You have uh with this one page of this
[3:51] book, you've effectively helped me
[3:54] change everything about the way that I'm
[3:56] living my life right now on a daily
[3:57] basis, and I want to thank you, Cory,
[3:59] for that.
[3:59] >> Mhm, that's beautiful. Well, thank you
[4:01] for reading and also just making those
[4:05] changes in your life and experiencing
[4:07] what was there waiting for you to
[4:09] experience it.
[4:10] >> Yep. Thank you. How did this book come
[4:13] to life? It's so very particular. I've
[4:16] never seen anything like it. Even the
[4:18] spine of the book and the words are not
[4:21] written sideways. When I look at the
[4:22] spine, the words are written so that I
[4:24] can read it when I'm staring at the
[4:26] spine.
[4:27] Just tell me a little bit about this.
[4:29] How are you working with Andrews McMeel?
[4:31] It's been such a joy to work with them
[4:32] in the past. Tell me everything.
[4:35] >> Yeah, well, I'm glad that you noticed
[4:36] the spine aspect. Thank you for that and
[4:39] thank you for just all the kind words.
[4:41] It came about because
[4:45] I think that creatively I look inside
[4:48] myself and what I'm experiencing and
[4:51] what is building.
[4:53] I noticed that certain feelings and
[4:56] realizations
[4:58] start to germinate over the course of
[5:01] weeks and months and then sometimes
[5:02] years.
[5:04] And then because I'm a curious fellow, I
[5:07] also look at
[5:09] the waves that are moving through
[5:11] culture and having a large social media
[5:14] following
[5:15] gives you an interesting insight into
[5:17] that because you can see
[5:19] how people are responding to things,
[5:21] what language people are using, and see
[5:23] some patterns of kind of where certain
[5:26] sectors of culture are at. And I tend to
[5:31] get curious about where I'm at and what
[5:34] I'm feeling and where people
[5:37] [clears throat] are at in general
[5:39] and how those things are connected.
[5:42] And that's usually where a lot of the
[5:44] writing comes from.
[5:47] In this case,
[5:48] I started feeling myself several years
[5:50] ago
[5:52] just exhausted
[5:55] and I think existentially fatigued
[6:00] with where we are right now as people.
[6:05] And by that I mean the clamping down of
[6:09] >> [snorts]
[6:09] >> our attentions,
[6:11] the harvesting of our energy,
[6:14] the
[6:15] removal of our sense of self because
[6:18] [snorts] we're all getting pulled into
[6:20] this machinery
[6:23] of
[6:25] monochromatic
[6:26] spiritual
[6:29] numbness is I guess the best way I can
[6:31] put it.
[6:32] It's like everything is
[6:35] so algorithmic
[6:37] and charged by the fuel of our
[6:42] attention.
[6:43] And so to trigger our attention,
[6:47] the people who are in charge of these
[6:49] platforms and just kind of the digital
[6:51] world and news cycles and everything
[6:53] that's controlling our lives right now
[6:55] are pulling every lever to keep us
[6:58] engaged. And that can look like
[7:02] exploiting our fear, exploiting our
[7:04] dreams, exploiting our lack of
[7:07] self-worth, our need to compare
[7:08] ourselves, exploiting our outrage,
[7:12] manipulating our values,
[7:14] putting us up against other people with
[7:17] polarizing values so that we become
[7:20] angry and need to
[7:22] vindicate our view of the world.
[7:25] And then if you add the way that the
[7:29] logistics of being human have also been
[7:31] absorbed into the same machinery,
[7:34] you have everything in your life from
[7:38] shopping to
[7:40] just you know, dealing with bills to you
[7:43] name it is all coming through your
[7:46] device.
[7:47] >> My ultra-human ring that I love a lot,
[7:50] which is new,
[7:52] has me now, in some twist of irony,
[7:56] getting outside more.
[7:58] It tells me, "Go. Go for a walk. Right
[8:00] now, it's the golden hour." And I go.
[8:03] So, to your point, there is this insane
[8:06] connection to the device. I'm learning
[8:08] how to choose very carefully what parts
[8:10] I'm connecting to, but you're 1,000% on
[8:14] the money, and I just know that your
[8:16] book is going to help us deal with it
[8:18] and mitigate [clears throat] it.
[8:19] >> Thank you. Yes, I'm a co-owner of a
[8:21] company called Pulse, which is created
[8:24] the first mindfulness smart ring. And it
[8:27] is basically a ring that vibrates very
[8:31] gently. It has a bunch of different
[8:33] modes that you can use, but that's its
[8:36] sole functionality is like a gentle
[8:38] vibration.
[8:39] And the device that you just mentioned
[8:42] reminds you to go outside. That's the
[8:44] thing that we need, you know, then why I
[8:46] was interested in being a part of the
[8:48] company
[8:49] is because it just reminds you, "Hey,
[8:52] bring your attention back to this
[8:53] moment. Get out of the autopilot that
[8:56] you're in. Go outside, take a breath, do
[8:59] whatever." But you just have this gentle
[9:00] little friend giving you a nudge, you
[9:03] know, once an hour or three times an
[9:04] hour or whatever, which hopefully, you
[9:07] know, is serving a similar purpose. Cuz
[9:10] I just need to be tapped on the shoulder
[9:12] to be helped kind of wake up out of all
[9:13] of this.
[9:14] Yeah, so I was noticing, you know,
[9:17] obviously looking at all of this,
[9:19] and then noticing how I felt just
[9:23] increasingly
[9:25] tired and numb [clears throat]
[9:28] and bored and flat
[9:33] and just exhausted by the whole
[9:36] state of how are operating now.
[9:40] And I thought, you know what? Technology
[9:42] has been collapsing in on itself for the
[9:44] last 100 years.
[9:46] We've gone through, you know, the
[9:48] industrial age, the electronic age, the
[9:51] digital age. I thought, this is the
[9:53] first moment where
[9:54] instead of letting technology continue
[9:57] to increase and control our lives,
[10:01] this is the first time that we need to
[10:03] play an active role in that and say,
[10:06] "No.
[10:07] I'm not going to be swept into the tide
[10:11] of this compression of life anymore."
[10:14] And that's where the name of the book
[10:15] came from. It's time for a quiet age.
[10:18] But the difference is that we have to be
[10:20] the ones to consciously and
[10:23] intentionally build that quiet and that
[10:25] spaciousness back into our lives,
[10:28] or else it's going to be continued to be
[10:30] sucked out of us
[10:32] until we're living a completely just
[10:36] autonomous singularity of digital chaos.
[10:40] And so, I wrote this book to not only
[10:43] create a gap that helps create some
[10:46] space in the autopilot, in the reactive
[10:48] living, in the exhaustion,
[10:50] but then addresses linearly all of the
[10:53] stuff that comes along with that,
[10:54] because a lot of people think, "All
[10:56] right, well, I've been in survival mode
[11:00] and just been reactive and I've been
[11:01] slowly normalizing all of this stress
[11:04] and all this tension and reactivity
[11:06] because of digital life.
[11:08] And so, I'm just going to stop and slow
[11:09] down, maybe, you know, for 10 minutes a
[11:11] day, I'm going to relax and then things
[11:13] will be fine."
[11:14] But the reality is so much deeper than
[11:16] that. Because the reason why we're
[11:18] reacting, the reason why we're on
[11:20] autopilot, the reason why we're
[11:21] disassociating through work or
[11:24] relationships or over-socialization or
[11:26] substances or whatever it is, it's
[11:29] because we're really trying to outrun
[11:31] the deeper pain and discomfort that's
[11:34] underneath all of that stuff.
[11:36] >> [snorts]
[11:36] >> And so when if we slow down and we get
[11:38] some quiet,
[11:39] now we're left to feel ourselves again.
[11:43] And in that is going to be a little
[11:44] discomfort. And so I talk about that,
[11:47] how to address those things, how to
[11:49] re-pattern our behavior, and then
[11:50] re-enter the world understanding that
[11:53] the world will always be chaos, but it's
[11:56] not about trying to fix that. It's about
[11:58] trying to change your internal
[12:00] relationship with how you engage with
[12:03] life.
[12:05] >> Yeah. [sighs and gasps]
[12:06] What I think I'm hearing the most of all
[12:09] is that there is for each of us the root
[12:12] cause of why we've chosen to sign on
[12:17] for the chaos.
[12:19] For each of us it's a different thing.
[12:20] For me, it was a great deal of sadness
[12:22] that had turned into anger that I was
[12:25] turning on so many people in my life and
[12:28] creating real chaos in my own world. And
[12:32] then becoming a workaholic.
[12:34] Straight up. Like just overworking
[12:37] so many things that I don't need to be
[12:39] doing that I was doing. And over the
[12:41] last maybe 3 years, I've committed to
[12:44] ridding myself, transforming the anger
[12:47] that I felt at the depth of my being
[12:49] that I saw again in Vipassanā
[12:52] so clearly over those 10 days. Handing
[12:55] in my phone,
[12:56] seeing how fast my mind goes to wanting
[13:00] to solve a problem, fix a thing, get
[13:03] something done, produce
[13:05] in Idaho, Lava Hot [clears throat]
[13:08] Springs, where there's nothing doing.
[13:11] Nothing doing. You're just sitting 10
[13:13] hours a day,
[13:14] eating a couple times, walking, walking,
[13:17] walking.
[13:18] To watch all of that really showed me
[13:21] that to your point, each of us has a
[13:23] certain way of coping.
[13:25] Most of us have taken that root problem
[13:27] and made it into
[13:29] overdoing something.
[13:31] If you're listening to this, what is
[13:33] yours? Say it out loud. Be proud and be
[13:36] free. Say it out loud.
[13:38] Mine is some combination of work, buying
[13:41] things that I don't need.
[13:43] That's now largely gone. And a form of
[13:47] anger
[13:48] that was very, very deeply seated in my
[13:51] body that is now moving. I can feel it
[13:53] every time I sit.
[13:55] I'd love to know Cory from you what your
[13:57] findings have been personally if you're
[13:59] willing to share along those lines. What
[14:02] is the root? What is the manifestation?
[14:05] And I think committing to the quiet age
[14:08] is what the sort of inquiry and ask is.
[14:12] I'm committing to the quiet age, period.
[14:15] >> Yeah, I mean, underneath all of my
[14:19] hyper-independent
[14:21] hyper-vigilance
[14:23] and everything is just an immense amount
[14:27] of pain, disappointment, sadness
[14:31] and a feeling of being
[14:34] unlovable and unwanted
[14:36] and having no value.
[14:38] And that all comes from
[14:41] just my childhood, of course. And and
[14:44] then there's the feelings of there's
[14:46] betrayal in there as well.
[14:48] I've done a lot of work to track this
[14:50] back and
[14:53] this is I mean, we could go into some
[14:55] pretty interesting deep waters if you'd
[14:58] like. You know, we're going to exit the
[15:00] highway and get on a different highway
[15:01] for a couple minutes, but I think it
[15:04] could be particularly interesting to you
[15:06] if you want to.
[15:08] >> I'd love to. And I'm very capable of
[15:11] putting us back on the highway if we
[15:12] need to, but I'd like to take the side,
[15:14] the dirt road for a minute if we can.
[15:16] >> Okay, I think just given what you were
[15:18] telling me about your recent experience
[15:21] with the retreat, I think you might find
[15:23] this fascinating or at least
[15:24] interesting.
[15:26] So, I have always [snorts]
[15:29] since I can remember have been very
[15:32] independent and full of energy to try
[15:35] and do stuff and create things and make
[15:38] things happen, right?
[15:40] That turned into, as I mentioned
[15:42] earlier, a level of hyper-independence,
[15:44] hyper-vigilance,
[15:46] where
[15:47] I have my entire life, from the time I
[15:49] was probably like 12, have felt almost
[15:52] possessed
[15:54] to where I must create things and I must
[15:59] build and generate stuff out into the
[16:02] world. That was music whenever I was
[16:04] younger. It turned into podcasting,
[16:07] which turned into writing, and turned
[16:09] into social media.
[16:11] On honestly, now it's just the economy
[16:13] of my identity. I just am now a
[16:16] professional Corey, you know, and and
[16:18] show up in different ways, and that's
[16:19] what it is now.
[16:21] But, throughout all of that journey, you
[16:24] know, I started meditating whenever I
[16:26] was a teenager and reading, you know,
[16:28] all the books and everything.
[16:30] And
[16:31] I knew that I was, cuz of what I
[16:35] experienced, you know, in my younger
[16:36] years, there was a lot of pain, a lot of
[16:38] I experienced a lot of emotional abuse,
[16:40] a lot of
[16:41] um manipulation and trauma
[16:44] at extreme levels, and that shaped my
[16:49] personality, of course, and that's
[16:51] honestly why, one of the reasons I got
[16:53] interested in perception whenever I was
[16:55] so young, is because whenever you're
[16:58] really young and you're told that
[16:59] reality is one thing, but you've
[17:01] observed something else, I instinctively
[17:04] realized that perception is subjective,
[17:07] that we're all seeing different views of
[17:09] the world, and we're all telling each
[17:10] other different things and different
[17:13] stories about reality.
[17:15] >> [gasps]
[17:15] >> And so
[17:16] >> Little Buddha.
[17:17] >> [laughter]
[17:17] >> You're a little Buddha,
[17:19] a little Gautama under the tree.
[17:21] >> [laughter]
[17:22] >> Oh, bless you.
[17:23] >> And so, anyway, I started realizing that
[17:27] all of this work, all this meditation I
[17:29] was doing, I was using it as a tool of
[17:32] self-protection to deepen my
[17:34] understanding of the mind. And I
[17:36] realized that the more that I went into
[17:38] it, the more control and intention I had
[17:40] over who I was being in the world and
[17:43] that I could shape who I was and I could
[17:45] release and let go of the patterns, the
[17:48] reactions, some of the pain and stuff
[17:51] that I had experienced.
[17:53] And so, I spent a lifetime with this
[17:55] mixture of my hyper-independence
[18:00] and this deep, rich internal path based
[18:03] on,
[18:04] you know, the enlightenment of self and
[18:08] being
[18:09] the most [clears throat]
[18:12] compassionate person that I could be for
[18:15] others.
[18:17] And because I always took a really
[18:19] intellectual approach to everything, I
[18:20] just tried to go as deep as I possibly
[18:22] just gardening with dynamite, you know,
[18:24] I always wanted to go as deep as I
[18:25] possibly could into my mind and into
[18:28] every subject and learn everything as
[18:29] much as I could. And that kind of
[18:31] careerism, in quotes,
[18:34] got locked into not only in my
[18:35] professional life but also my inner
[18:37] pursuits.
[18:38] And one day, this is a couple of years
[18:42] ago,
[18:43] I was thinking to myself,
[18:45] whatever I was just into meditation,
[18:48] and I was like, why do I feel
[18:51] a lonely?
[18:54] Everyone says, you know, I'm the calmest
[18:55] person they know. I feel calm but not at
[18:59] ease.
[19:00] There's something deep in there, there's
[19:02] some grit, there's some sand in the
[19:04] oyster that's way down in there and I
[19:07] need to figure out what that is.
[19:09] Because
[19:11] as one might guess from what I mentioned
[19:13] earlier,
[19:14] the most important values of mine is
[19:17] honesty and truth in all of my stuff
[19:20] I've created. I don't care how
[19:23] successful it makes me. I don't care how
[19:26] my status changes. I don't care how much
[19:28] money I make. I care that it's guiding
[19:31] people away from delusion and closer to
[19:34] their own clarity. That's the goal of
[19:36] everything and that's what trumps every
[19:38] other option and possibility in my
[19:40] stuff.
[19:42] And because I have a vitriol for it
[19:44] because I grew up having that used
[19:46] against me, you know, so it's like I
[19:48] would never betray that, right? So, I
[19:51] was looking deeper and I was like, all
[19:52] right, why do I feel this loneliness?
[19:53] Why do I feel
[19:55] this detachment?
[19:57] And I thought, well, I feel like I have
[19:59] this armor
[20:01] that I'm always wearing to a degree and
[20:04] I need to figure out why and what that
[20:06] is. And so I went into meditation
[20:08] and I just thought, let me just track
[20:10] the feeling back. Let me just feel the
[20:13] feeling in my stomach, go down into it.
[20:16] And I went into it and I thought, all
[20:17] right, now what does this feel like?
[20:19] What are the kind of the notes
[20:20] [clears throat] that are arising?
[20:22] And the first one was betrayal and a lot
[20:24] of pain.
[20:26] I thought, okay, let me go and see if a
[20:28] memory might arise around that
[20:30] experience and this feeling in the
[20:31] stomach.
[20:33] And I did and it was the first time I
[20:34] expressed emotion to a parent and I was
[20:38] attacked instead of loved [snorts] and
[20:40] shown support. I was, you know,
[20:42] threatened.
[20:43] And I remembered that moment. It was
[20:46] like a a trap snapping shut
[20:49] of the [snorts] person who I thought I
[20:52] should get unconditional love from
[20:55] showed me that that was not true. So now
[20:57] I can't trust
[20:59] the world with my vulnerability and then
[21:04] I went on to learn briefly after that
[21:06] that if I ever wanted to do anything, to
[21:09] understand anything, to get anywhere, I
[21:11] only could rely on myself.
[21:13] And that's inside and outside of the
[21:15] body.
[21:16] And that's why I became just super
[21:17] self-sufficient with everything and like
[21:20] the ultimate autodidact is cuz that was
[21:22] my programming I was running.
[21:25] And so, I thought about this a lot and
[21:29] I'm not really the type to do like
[21:31] somatic uh role-playing stuff because
[21:35] I'm a real like nuts and bolts like meat
[21:37] and potatoes type of guy with this
[21:39] stuff, but I did in that moment, I sat
[21:43] with that feeling and I thought, "Okay,
[21:45] that feeling in the stomach was
[21:47] basically armor and it was trying to
[21:49] protect me in that moment, but I was a
[21:52] kid, I needed it then, I'm a gigantic
[21:56] bald adult now, I don't need that
[21:58] anymore. I can [laughter] take care of
[21:59] myself."
[22:01] >> [gasps]
[22:01] >> And I just let it release and visually
[22:05] just kind of turned into ash and flew
[22:08] away.
[22:09] But then, I thought deeply about, "Okay,
[22:12] now I realize I was carrying this
[22:15] protection, but how is this manifested
[22:18] into this feeling of disconnection and
[22:21] isolation?"
[22:23] >> Loneliness.
[22:23] >> And loneliness, yeah.
[22:25] And I realized it's because I, without
[22:29] realizing it, had used like all the time
[22:32] I was using my meditation and all of my
[22:35] mindful training,
[22:37] >> [snorts]
[22:38] >> and I mean self-training, those things
[22:40] were all used for the most honest
[22:44] and [clears throat]
[22:46] earnest way I could.
[22:48] So, what I'll say next is nothing to say
[22:52] that all of those pursuits weren't
[22:54] sincere and for the goal of compassion
[22:58] and self-redemption, they truly were,
[23:01] but I realized there was a secondary
[23:03] level program running.
[23:05] And that secondary level program
[23:08] was that I was using
[23:11] mindfulness and my meditative awareness
[23:14] to facilitate
[23:17] a controllable
[23:19] version of reality.
[23:21] Because ultimately at the end of the
[23:23] day, mindfulness is really just
[23:25] self-monitoring.
[23:27] You know, people like to dress it up and
[23:29] it has a lot of outcomes, but ultimately
[23:32] it is paying attention to what you're
[23:34] doing and saying as you're doing it so
[23:37] that what you express into the world and
[23:39] towards others is intentional instead of
[23:42] reactive. That's really the nuts and
[23:45] bolts of it.
[23:46] >> Yep, fair.
[23:47] >> And I realized that
[23:49] what I was doing or without realizing
[23:52] it, I was creating
[23:54] this social ecosystem
[23:57] where who I was, I was always charming
[24:02] and curious and was a very deep listener
[24:06] and would really like just melt
[24:08] consciousnesses with people to
[24:10] understand them deeply and to share my
[24:14] insights from my life with what they
[24:16] were telling me to make them feel
[24:18] connected and to excite them and to
[24:21] expand their minds and to make them feel
[24:24] a little bedazzled and warm and fuzzy
[24:27] and all of this stuff. And I thought,
[24:29] well, if people seem to really like me,
[24:32] you know, people come up and everyone
[24:33] wants to talk to me all the time and
[24:36] people often tell me even social
[24:38] situations like this is one of the most
[24:39] amazing conversations I've ever had and
[24:42] yada yada. I'm like, that makes sense. I
[24:43] mean, that should mean that I'm being a
[24:45] good person in the world. It's like,
[24:47] well, of course I am, but the secondary
[24:49] game I'm setting up is that I was using
[24:52] that mindful awareness and the
[24:54] meditative sense of self-awareness of
[24:58] the objective sense of the world to
[25:00] create a container
[25:02] to where I could be this part of me, who
[25:06] I truly am, that very affable, warm,
[25:10] loving, kind, and very deep listening
[25:12] and deep caring and deep loving person.
[25:16] But next to that I made it to where if
[25:19] I'm being that person, that takes up so
[25:21] much space
[25:23] in the room and in the ecosystem
[25:26] that I never have to be vulnerable.
[25:30] I don't have to open up and really share
[25:32] what is two layers beneath the surface.
[25:35] I can share some of my experience or
[25:38] what I'm maybe thinking or feeling, but
[25:40] the real stuff that's down in there
[25:43] I don't have to let anyone see.
[25:46] And it was fascinating to me that I
[25:48] discovered and just realized that wow, I
[25:50] was using
[25:52] that immense strength of self-control
[25:57] as a way to create a distance
[26:01] between myself and other people so I
[26:03] could be protected.
[26:04] >> When equanimity becomes a weapon.
[26:06] >> That's right. [laughter]
[26:09] >> Details [gasps]
[26:09] at 11.
[26:11] >> That's right. Well, that's what happens.
[26:13] I joke about growing up with a lot of
[26:14] self-confidence but no self-worth. You
[26:16] know, so figure that one out, you know.
[26:18] >> [snorts]
[26:18] >> Um
[26:19] >> [sighs]
[26:20] >> Yeah.
[26:21] When I recognized that, I thought, okay,
[26:23] well, this has to change. And so
[26:25] for anyone listening to this that might
[26:27] feel a little bit similarly
[26:29] I
[26:31] thought, well, first off, I need to
[26:33] really just tune back into a felt sense
[26:36] of myself and the world because I've
[26:38] just been kind of ignoring my deeper
[26:40] emotions for a long time because they're
[26:41] so painful.
[26:43] And so I started doing what I called
[26:45] microdosing emotions. I wouldn't just
[26:48] blurt out everything I'm feeling and
[26:50] kind of the deeper, less pretty stuff or
[26:53] the stuff that just makes you human. I
[26:55] wouldn't blurt that out to people, but I
[26:57] would just share like someone says, "Oh,
[26:59] how are you doing today?" Instead of
[27:00] like, "Oh, I'm great, you know, how are
[27:01] you?" I would say, "Oh, yeah, it's I've
[27:03] kind of been tired and was feeling
[27:05] really stressed earlier, but I'm happy
[27:06] to be here with you now." You know,
[27:08] something that simple just to let out a
[27:10] little tendril of that authentic, deeper
[27:14] part of the vulnerable self to connect
[27:16] to the world. And slowly through working
[27:18] with that, I really was able to expand
[27:22] and reconnect the deeper layers of
[27:25] emotional self and vulnerability to the
[27:28] open relational self and find the
[27:31] balance
[27:32] that I needed. And what's amazing and no
[27:35] surprise is that over the last couple of
[27:37] years,
[27:38] I've had so much more growth and
[27:41] advancement, a level of acceptance and
[27:45] just comfort
[27:47] in who I am
[27:48] because, you know, my goal is to be a
[27:50] full spectrum human. You know, I want
[27:52] all of the stuff that's in me to be
[27:54] connected, to be working, and to be
[27:56] relaying with with the world and other
[27:59] people. And after working through that,
[28:01] I realized that that's where I am now
[28:04] and it and it's been really beautiful
[28:06] and also it's been difficult in moments
[28:09] because
[28:10] the excitement and the sort of
[28:13] >> [clears throat]
[28:13] >> um
[28:15] I know I'm talking a lot and just laying
[28:17] out here, but I just I just so much of
[28:18] this I feel like you might relate to it.
[28:20] It's like
[28:20] >> Yes, please. I can just promise you and
[28:23] confirm and affirm
[28:25] that everything that you've just said
[28:26] regarding your level of comfort and ease
[28:28] in the world, your level of acceptance
[28:30] of yourself, and even feeling accepted
[28:33] by others
[28:34] is a true story. We can all see it,
[28:36] those of us who are close to you and
[28:38] your work.
[28:39] It's a true story because this little
[28:41] sort of microdosing practice,
[28:43] microdosing your emotions for
[28:44] authenticity is
[28:47] a way for us to get to know you.
[28:48] >> Mhm. [clears throat]
[28:49] >> We knew your mind before. We knew your
[28:51] practice before. Now we know your heart.
[28:55] >> That's very well said.
[28:57] Very well said.
[28:59] Yeah, that is an interesting thing is
[29:01] people have told me similar stuff to
[29:04] that is they're like, yeah, like I
[29:05] always knew you and what you even
[29:07] thought but I just I didn't really know
[29:09] you in a weird way. [laughter]
[29:12] Yeah, so then this is even the last like
[29:15] month or two. I was had this thought you
[29:18] and I both been doing this stuff
[29:19] forever.
[29:20] And there's people with my podcast that
[29:23] have been listening for over a decade,
[29:25] which is weird cuz now they're in their
[29:27] mid-20s or late 20s and they're like,
[29:29] oh, I started listening when I was 17
[29:31] and now I'm 27.
[29:33] >> [gasps]
[29:34] >> And yeah, it's tripping.
[29:36] >> That's that you can be proud of that.
[29:37] You know, that's an influence
[29:38] [clears throat] that will never you'll
[29:40] never be said that you had that
[29:42] influence on a younger kid.
[29:43] >> Yeah, much different than a viral
[29:45] Instagram post. That's for sure.
[29:47] [laughter]
[29:48] >> [gasps]
[29:48] >> The quiet age is on its way to my kids
[29:50] house in California.
[29:53] So you know, for launch day, it's right
[29:54] around his birthday and he and his
[29:56] friends all got copies of Brave New You.
[29:59] >> Mhm. Amazing.
[30:01] >> Amazing. That's so sweet of you.
[30:04] >> A couple years ago. Okay, go on. Sorry.
[30:05] >> Yeah, no, no. So I had this thought of
[30:08] like
[30:09] just because of the outcome of a lot of
[30:12] that stuff I was just talking about
[30:15] I was like, my energy is a little bit
[30:17] different. I was always calm and and
[30:19] pretty placid but now there's kind of
[30:21] this
[30:23] I feel like nobody now.
[30:25] Like I feel like I used to be somebody.
[30:27] I used to be like tap dancing and trying
[30:30] to charming people and beings uh
[30:32] clever and say things in a way that were
[30:36] really beautiful and poetic. And all of
[30:38] that stuff just stopped
[30:41] >> [snorts]
[30:41] >> because that was all machinery
[30:44] to perform the identity [clears throat]
[30:47] in a way to keep people kind of enamored
[30:50] and give them something
[30:52] as opposed to just giving them who I am
[30:55] without trying, without effort, and
[30:57] without the pizzazz, you know, the
[31:00] entertainment.
[31:01] >> [snorts]
[31:01] >> And allowing them to find who they are
[31:03] through
[31:04] the example that you're setting.
[31:06] >> Yes. Yes. And so I had this funny
[31:09] thought is I've been believing that was
[31:12] the course, right? That that was what
[31:14] was happening.
[31:15] And I had this thought the other day, or
[31:17] a couple weeks ago, I think, where I was
[31:19] like
[31:20] is that it, or have I lost it?
[31:23] Have I lost my magic touch? Am I no
[31:26] longer interesting? Am I no longer
[31:30] full of wisdom? Because I don't feel
[31:32] like I have insights anymore. Right?
[31:35] Like I used to always be like, I've got
[31:36] all this material, I've got all these
[31:37] thoughts, I've got all this stuff lined
[31:39] up in my brain, and all I've been
[31:40] thinking about all this stuff.
[31:42] I don't feel like that anymore. I don't
[31:43] write notes anymore. I don't do
[31:45] anything. I just talk about what I'm
[31:46] thinking, what I'm feeling in the
[31:48] moment. And I thought, did I lose my
[31:50] magic touch? Are people going to be
[31:52] interested in my work? Am I boring now?
[31:55] Am I no longer the person that they go,
[31:57] "Ooh, that's Corey Allen. He's this and
[31:59] that and that." My wife would meet
[32:01] people randomly just in her life
[32:03] whenever she was working or traveling
[32:05] for stuff, and they would learn that I
[32:07] was her husband, and they would go, "Oh
[32:09] my god, is that Corey Allen?" She's
[32:11] like, "Yeah." And they're like, "What's
[32:12] that like?" And she's like,
[32:14] "Uh it's fine, you know, he's a
[32:16] >> [laughter]
[32:16] >> great guy."
[32:17] But now I'm like, "Ooh, is that guy
[32:18] gone, you know?"
[32:20] And I actually mentioned that to my
[32:22] wife. I said, "Let me throw something
[32:23] weird at you.
[32:25] What do you think about this?" And she
[32:27] was like, "No. Look at your life over
[32:31] the last 2 years.
[32:32] You've never been more successful.
[32:35] You've never reached more people. You've
[32:36] never been more authentic and like the
[32:40] heart of all of the work that you've
[32:41] been doing is like finally coming to
[32:43] roost in a way
[32:45] that is like really meaningful.
[32:48] And I thought, "Okay, that's what I
[32:50] thought." You know,
[32:52] >> [laughter]
[32:52] >> and then I was doing some work with
[32:54] someone
[32:55] some kind of coaching and mentoring work
[32:58] and he's a younger guy, you know, that's
[33:00] been listening to my stuff for a long
[33:02] time
[33:03] and he randomly said, "You know,
[33:05] whenever I'm depressed or feeling down,
[33:07] I just go back and listen to the
[33:08] earliest episodes of your podcast
[33:10] [laughter]
[33:11] cuz those are the ones that really,
[33:12] really make me feel just
[33:15] I just feel so cozy with them." And I
[33:17] had to laugh at the irony of that, you
[33:19] know.
[33:20] >> Well, the irony is
[33:22] that actually has nothing to do with
[33:24] you, the caliber of your work, or the
[33:25] quality of your trajectory, your
[33:28] evolution. What it has to do with is
[33:30] it's like me hearing the Brady Bunch
[33:32] theme or the MASH theme. Suddenly, I'm
[33:34] just a kid again and I'm sitting on my
[33:36] couch and my mom is nearby and
[33:37] everything is fine.
[33:39] He's going back to a time when he was
[33:41] really in a place of discovery and
[33:45] innocence,
[33:46] beginnings, you know, so it doesn't
[33:48] speak to you at all.
[33:50] It's sweet,
[33:52] but it doesn't speak to you.
[33:53] >> Yeah.
[33:54] >> What I will say is I've noticed,
[33:56] similarly to your wife, the
[33:58] not just the numbers per se, although
[34:00] it's hard to miss,
[34:02] but just the naturalness of the
[34:04] transmissions.
[34:06] And
[34:07] right now I'm going to feed you back
[34:09] your own teaching, brother.
[34:10] Page 211. Keep putting your good energy
[34:13] into the world. It's helping people
[34:16] around you more than you know.
[34:19] >> [laughter]
[34:20] >> There are five chapters in here. I know
[34:22] we're going a little bit long, but I'm
[34:23] going to finish up soon, I promise. Five
[34:25] chapters for our listener.
[34:28] Just in case you're wondering if you
[34:29] need to order this book, I'm telling you
[34:31] you do.
[34:32] Reset is the first.
[34:35] Slow is the second.
[34:38] Discover
[34:39] the third.
[34:41] Become
[34:42] is the fourth, and the fifth and final
[34:44] is arise.
[34:47] What I'd like to share with you and and
[34:49] actually to ask your permission cuz I
[34:50] haven't started yet, but I would like to
[34:52] use some of these quotes in my Glo
[34:55] classes.
[34:56] I teach online
[34:59] um for the last 15 or so years on
[35:01] glo.com.
[35:03] It's some of my favorite work, you know,
[35:05] it keeps me on the mat and keeps me sort
[35:08] of offering the best of what I
[35:10] understand in my own asana practice as
[35:13] it supports my meditation practice
[35:15] to a really broad audience who are
[35:17] basically growing up with me, you know,
[35:19] these last 15 years.
[35:22] Is it okay with you if I quote you and
[35:23] say Cory Allen's book, The Quiet Age,
[35:26] "Keep putting your good energy out into
[35:28] the world. It's helping people more than
[35:30] you know." or "Your nervous system is a
[35:32] better compass than anyone else's
[35:34] opinion." Is that okay?
[35:35] >> Of course. Of course, please. Spread the
[35:38] words.
[35:39] >> I think it's really important and the
[35:40] way that I teach is such that I just
[35:43] offer the most pithy, potent sort of
[35:46] teaching or sentiment at the beginning
[35:48] and the end of class and I sort of
[35:49] thread it through
[35:51] in a subtle but also present way. And I
[35:53] think these teachings here in this book
[35:55] are going to be very pivotal to the next
[35:58] wave of my classes. So, thank you for
[36:00] that.
[36:01] >> Mhm, [clears throat] yes, of course.
[36:02] Thank you.
[36:03] >> Uh talk to us about the trajectory of
[36:05] the book, these reset, slow, discover,
[36:08] become, arise. If you have any sort of
[36:11] offerings on that, we'd love to hear.
[36:14] >> Oh, yeah. So,
[36:16] going back a little bit to the creation,
[36:19] you mentioned the spine and I wanted to
[36:21] touch on that and
[36:22] you know, the point is I wanted this
[36:24] book to feel like out of time almost. I
[36:28] wanted the physical nature of it, if you
[36:30] would
[36:30] >> [clears throat]
[36:31] >> Yes,
[36:32] because books used to be like this.
[36:34] >> That's right.
[36:35] >> Oh my god.
[36:37] >> Yeah.
[36:38] >> What inspired you? Hold on. What book?
[36:40] What led you to this realization that
[36:42] older books had spines reading
[36:45] vertically, not horizontally?
[36:47] >> Um
[36:49] it was honestly it was my wife and I
[36:50] just looking at it and talking about the
[36:52] aesthetic.
[36:53] And I designed the cover and I designed
[36:56] the interior and everything.
[36:58] And we were talking about the spine and
[37:00] I was like, this book needs to feel
[37:03] like timeless, because that's how it's
[37:06] going to feel
[37:07] the most present and the way to
[37:11] overcome
[37:13] our algorithmic
[37:15] churning sort of cycle in that we live
[37:18] in is to create an object that just
[37:20] ignores the rules of the game that
[37:22] they're playing.
[37:24] And we were looking at this, we're like,
[37:27] you know what? This looks like one of
[37:30] those ancient books that you'd go into a
[37:33] library and you you pull it off the
[37:35] shelf,
[37:36] but you don't ever turn your head when
[37:38] you're in a library full of like
[37:41] these timeless dusty sort of uh
[37:45] >> musty
[37:46] >> sacred book Yeah, yeah, they they never
[37:48] looked like that. Yeah, and so this
[37:51] vertical thing, they're having the
[37:53] horizontal, yeah, it just gave it that
[37:55] feel.
[37:56] >> It was the first thing I noticed when
[37:58] the book arrived to me and I thought, oh
[38:00] my goodness, and nothing on the back.
[38:02] Just
[38:03] >> just a quote.
[38:04] >> quote. This is what's on the back, dear
[38:06] listener. A quiet life is not an empty
[38:08] life.
[38:10] It is a life of depth, meaning,
[38:12] and the things that truly matter.
[38:15] >> [snorts]
[38:16] >> Yes, and I asked them to all of the
[38:19] publishing information and everything,
[38:21] that was totally designed differently.
[38:24] They had that vertically on the on the
[38:26] back of the book I said no no no. I'd
[38:28] love to take it off but I know you all
[38:30] want to have it on there. I was like
[38:31] shrink it move it out of the way. And
[38:33] also you'll probably notice there are no
[38:35] blurbs in the book.
[38:36] >> No.
[38:37] >> There's no uh no one recommending it.
[38:40] There's no other authors saying hey this
[38:42] is what I think of the book.
[38:44] There's no nothing because the whole
[38:46] point is to have the least amount of
[38:49] pressure on your nervous system and the
[38:52] least amount of association going into
[38:55] it. Cuz it's just about you and where
[38:57] you are right now not about what some
[39:00] person that has another body of work
[39:02] that you feel about says about it.
[39:04] >> It's
[39:05] it's just perfect. It's just perfect.
[39:07] >> Thank you. Thank you. And so these
[39:08] chapters reset is kind of what it means.
[39:12] It's
[39:13] thinking about where you are right now
[39:16] and deciding all right I need to reset.
[39:18] I need to step out of this
[39:21] tension and urgency and survival and
[39:24] this automation you know because urgency
[39:27] is a learned state. It's not a
[39:28] condition.
[39:30] It's just a learned state that we've all
[39:31] normalized and so reset is stepping out
[39:34] of that.
[39:35] >> Can I read one page from reset for our
[39:37] listeners so they get an
[39:39] idea? Page 47. You can move at your own
[39:42] speed and let the world bend around you.
[39:46] Or you can move at the world's pace and
[39:48] be bent by the world.
[39:51] >> [clears throat]
[39:53] [laughter]
[39:54] >> Woah. Touché pussycat. I feel like I'm
[39:57] right in the middle [clears throat] of
[39:59] changing this. I was being bent by the
[40:01] world and I'm finally learning that I'm
[40:04] moving at my own speed. I have like the
[40:07] whole day after this. I don't have
[40:09] anything else after this.
[40:11] Open skies
[40:13] and the world will work with me. I'm
[40:15] getting so many fewer emails. It's so
[40:18] great. And now you're presenting this as
[40:22] you get to choose. Dear listener, if you
[40:26] are feeling like you're being bent by
[40:28] the world, you can reset.
[40:31] And it will take time. It should take a
[40:33] lot of time. You will find the way to
[40:36] reset your system, your calendar, your
[40:39] life, your day.
[40:41] And the world will work with that.
[40:43] >> It will. It really will. And
[40:46] there's this
[40:47] I'll be honest, I don't even remember
[40:49] where it's from. I've read so many, you
[40:52] know, wisdom books over the my entire
[40:54] life. I don't even remember which one
[40:55] it's from. But the analogy that sticks
[40:58] in my mind that speaks to this that I
[41:00] always think about and I love is it said
[41:02] that the way, you know, what we're
[41:05] generally talking about here,
[41:07] the way really feels like and looks like
[41:10] an elephant walking across a lake,
[41:13] across a body of water. That's really
[41:15] what the way is. That's what it is.
[41:17] >> Wow.
[41:19] >> I think about that all the time.
[41:21] >> What a koan.
[41:22] >> Yeah.
[41:23] >> What a riddle.
[41:25] So, is it walking on the water or
[41:27] walking through the water?
[41:28] >> It's through the water. Yeah, it's
[41:30] walking because you you think about the
[41:32] elephant is big and heavy and immovable,
[41:35] but it's still flowing with life and
[41:37] life the water is flowing around it.
[41:39] It's bending, but it's the strength and
[41:42] the groundedness of the elephant that
[41:44] keeps it from being swept away.
[41:48] >> Gosh, I'm actually really stilled by
[41:51] that.
[41:52] Dear listener, this is the longest
[41:54] podcast of mine you'll ever hear, but
[41:56] >> [laughter]
[41:56] >> we're going. Um tell me [clears throat]
[41:59] about your practice.
[42:01] What does that look like these days? And
[42:03] then we're going on to the second
[42:05] chapter with a little thought from you
[42:07] and one reading.
[42:09] >> Sure. So,
[42:10] my practice these days as cliche as it
[42:14] sounds,
[42:15] so much of it is just life itself.
[42:18] I feel like that's where
[42:21] the rubber meets the road, and that's
[42:23] where I get the most out of
[42:26] the work is just in every moment that
[42:29] I'm trying my best to uphold
[42:32] what I want to be developing, and also a
[42:34] deep sense of listening and receiving.
[42:38] Because like in every conversation I
[42:40] have, in every experience I have,
[42:44] I am experiencing it.
[42:46] I am trying to let go and just be there
[42:51] with it. I'm trying to remain
[42:53] emotionally dilated and open. I'm trying
[42:56] to make sure that my stupid
[42:58] monkey brain doesn't get in the way and
[43:01] make the moment about me.
[43:04] That I can just be there and
[43:07] [clears throat] experience what is
[43:09] happening and give myself to the moment,
[43:12] but also not have it be
[43:15] this saccharine, romanticized
[43:18] saying, because that turns into
[43:20] performance.
[43:21] It's funny as it's all of that care and
[43:24] compassion minus the part of you going,
[43:27] "I'm putting so much care and compassion
[43:29] into this." [laughter]
[43:31] And then the actual practice is very
[43:34] simple. It's as we chatted a little bit
[43:36] before we started recording is that
[43:39] I was always a spiritual eclecticist
[43:41] because it's the autodidact thing. It's
[43:43] I'm going to go study and figure out
[43:44] every practice and everything and
[43:47] understand them myself.
[43:49] And [snorts] it all all of the wacky
[43:52] things that I did over the years to just
[43:54] poke and prod at my consciousness
[43:56] and try and get deep under the hood as I
[43:58] could, it's all really ended in me
[44:02] practicing something very close to
[44:04] Vipassanā, which is just sitting,
[44:07] observing the breath, and noticing
[44:09] what's arising.
[44:11] And a lot of my practice is me just not
[44:14] even paying much attention to what's
[44:17] arising, but focusing on my breathing,
[44:20] and thinking, "I'm breathing in. I'm
[44:22] aware that I'm breathing in. I'm
[44:24] breathing out. I'm aware that
[44:25] [clears throat] I'm breathing out." And
[44:27] sometimes that's even simplified to just
[44:30] rising whenever I inhale, and falling
[44:33] whenever I exhale, and then thinking
[44:35] sitting in the space between breaths.
[44:37] And I notice that all of the, you know,
[44:40] ultimately the material in our
[44:41] subconscious are
[44:43] there's so much more in there than there
[44:45] is in the conscious stage of our mind,
[44:46] because the conscious stage of our mind
[44:48] exists in language, mostly. And the
[44:51] world in our subconscious is existence
[44:54] symbols, which has a lot more
[44:55] information than words do.
[44:58] And so what happens is that in
[45:00] meditation all these different pieces of
[45:02] our subconscious container and the
[45:04] fragments of material and symbols in
[45:06] there are able to see each other,
[45:08] because spaciousness opens and there's
[45:10] clarity. They find the other pieces that
[45:12] they have been trying to connect with,
[45:14] because ultimately our brain is very
[45:17] weird, and it spends its entire life
[45:19] trying to get itself to realize things
[45:21] so that it can let go and and integrate,
[45:24] which I find hilarious.
[45:26] And so in that state, all of those
[45:28] pieces of subconscious material are able
[45:30] to find each other, connect, formulate
[45:32] into language, pass through the membrane
[45:34] into the conscious mind, and then be
[45:37] recognized and resolved. And it's sort
[45:39] of a just a rising effervescent flow.
[45:42] It's like if you open a sparkling water.
[45:44] It's like, "All right, there's all the
[45:45] bubbles. Just go do your thing, and I'll
[45:48] be here just paying attention to my
[45:49] breathing."
[45:51] That's what a lot of the practice is
[45:52] these days.
[45:53] >> Yep.
[45:55] It's nice to hear of the simplicity of
[45:58] your practice and the ease with which
[46:00] any one of us,
[46:02] dear listener, can just sit down
[46:05] and start to watch the show and then
[46:08] watch how the show gets quiet when you
[46:10] don't feed the show.
[46:11] >> Mhm. [clears throat] Mhm.
[46:12] >> The context of the simile that you
[46:15] offered us, the elephant in the lake, is
[46:18] from the Anguttara Nikaya. It's chapter
[46:20] 10, Sutta number 99.
[46:24] It falls within the same canon. It's in
[46:28] the Pali canon. The same
[46:30] >> [clears throat]
[46:30] >> Anguttara Nikaya as the five
[46:32] remembrances. I am of the nature to grow
[46:34] old. I am of the nature to die. That one
[46:36] is chapter five. Sutta 57. So, very
[46:41] interesting and the story is that the
[46:44] Buddha is trying to tell Upali, this
[46:47] monk who comes to him and says, "I want
[46:48] to move to the mountains and I want to
[46:51] practice quietly, you know, just by
[46:53] myself, solo practice."
[46:55] And the Buddha cautions him saying that
[46:57] isolation is very difficult to endure
[47:00] for someone who's not yet mastered very
[47:01] deep states of immersion or mental
[47:03] concentration. And to illustrate this,
[47:05] he contrasts a great bull elephant with
[47:08] smaller animals. And he says, you know,
[47:10] suppose there's a large lake, along
[47:12] comes a bull elephant, he thinks, "Ah,
[47:13] why don't I just plunge into this lake
[47:15] and play around, wash my ears and back?"
[47:17] He does it and of course his giant
[47:20] incarnation finds a footing in the
[47:21] depths of the lake because, you know,
[47:23] it's huge, sheer size and strength.
[47:26] And compares it to the hare
[47:28] or the cat.
[47:30] And the Buddha explains that if a
[47:31] smaller creature, like a rabbit or a
[47:33] cat, looks at the elephant, rashly
[47:35] assumes it can do the same,
[47:37] it will quickly sink or float because it
[47:40] has no footing in the depths.
[47:42] >> Mhm.
[47:42] >> [clears throat]
[47:43] >> So, your reference is actually really
[47:45] fun and interesting, too, for all of us
[47:48] because
[47:49] what the Buddha was trying to say to
[47:51] this monk is
[47:53] find footing
[47:56] in life.
[47:57] To your point, find where your practice
[48:00] is
[48:01] instantiated in your real life.
[48:04] Then you can go
[48:06] to the mountains, to the cave.
[48:09] So, it's weirdly appropriate that you
[48:12] just said all of what you just said
[48:14] about your own practice that it really
[48:15] is life itself. It really is finding
[48:18] your presence in your
[48:20] practice in in daily existence as well
[48:23] as, you know, of course having a sitting
[48:25] practice cuz without that we're nowhere.
[48:28] >> Mhm, [clears throat] absolutely. That
[48:29] reminds me of another I think it's in
[48:31] fragrant palm leaves, but Thich Nhat
[48:34] Hanh talking about whenever the first
[48:36] Westerners started going to Vietnam to
[48:38] meditate, they were coming from the Zen
[48:40] tradition and
[48:41] you know, these Americans like
[48:44] and we what do we do? Meditate for 10
[48:46] hours a day? And he you know, Thich Nhat
[48:47] Hanh just started laughing. He's like,
[48:48] what for?
[48:50] Maybe meditate for for I do 45 minutes a
[48:52] day.
[48:53] >> All right.
[48:54] >> Yeah.
[48:55] >> And then goes out and fights for what's
[48:56] right.
[48:57] >> Exactly.
[48:58] >> [laughter]
[48:59] >> Yeah.
[49:00] Wow.
[49:01] Chapter two is called slow.
[49:04] And
[49:05] I'd love to hear what your sort of
[49:07] intent was with this and I think I
[49:10] picked out the one that I want to read.
[49:11] >> Mhm, yes. So, slow
[49:14] >> [sighs and gasps]
[49:15] >> is about recalibrating.
[49:18] It's about looking at how you were
[49:21] existing in life and now learning
[49:24] how to live more slowly and then what
[49:27] that's going to feel like
[49:29] and what that's going to do for you.
[49:31] >> Beautiful.
[49:33] Page 88.
[49:36] Until you understand your own patterns,
[49:38] perceptions, and pains,
[49:41] you'll keep mistaking them for someone
[49:43] else's.
[49:47] >> Yeah.
[49:47] >> It's like that emoji with the teeth,
[49:49] rectangular.
[49:51] >> [laughter]
[49:52] >> Oh.
[49:52] >> Yeah.
[49:53] >> It's so hard. I remember um
[49:55] to the earlier discussion that we had, I
[49:57] just remember so many moments of being
[49:59] so angry at the world. And now, moving
[50:03] more slowly and feeling my age and
[50:06] feeling the depth of my practice,
[50:09] it's much easier to see that literally
[50:11] everything I'm complaining about in
[50:13] myself has to do with me.
[50:15] >> Mhm.
[50:15] >> And the complaints can cease and I can
[50:19] sort myself out. I don't have to worry
[50:22] about sorting anyone else out or turning
[50:24] anyone else into the vision of that I
[50:26] have of them. It's not my business.
[50:28] >> Yes, that's such a powerful realization
[50:30] to have. I mean,
[50:32] it really is about how much can we
[50:35] reposition our own
[50:37] engagement with everything that
[50:39] surrounds us because the stuff that
[50:41] surrounds us just is, you know, it's the
[50:44] suchness. It's just there. It's just the
[50:46] stuff.
[50:47] And it has no preference.
[50:50] And now,
[50:51] >> and it will continue with or without us.
[50:53] >> [laughter]
[50:53] >> That's right.
[50:55] >> If we die, all of this will keep going.
[50:58] Discover is the third section and I'm
[51:02] going to read my bit before I give it to
[51:04] you, if you'll forgive me.
[51:06] A simple way to improve your life, page
[51:08] 114.
[51:10] Stop trying to be understood by people
[51:13] who don't understand themselves.
[51:17] Woo!
[51:22] There's a part of me that just wants to
[51:24] be loved, liked, admired, respected. And
[51:28] now, I'm seeing this new part through
[51:30] those 10 days. I can't wait to go back
[51:32] and do many more days. This new part is
[51:36] so much less concerned
[51:39] with anyone else's experience of me and
[51:42] much more concerned with my own deep
[51:45] integrity.
[51:47] >> That's
[51:49] >> Discover. It's just so important, I
[51:51] think, to um keep ourselves in the place
[51:54] of studentship. And for me, that's what
[51:56] this section is about.
[51:57] >> Mhm. [clears throat] Yeah, exactly. It's
[52:01] once you do slow down, you start to see
[52:02] the world and yourself differently.
[52:05] And whenever you get access to this new
[52:07] view of being,
[52:10] then you get the learning process all
[52:13] over again, but it's a joyful process.
[52:15] It's you know, even if it uh comes with
[52:18] discomfort sometimes, there's great joy
[52:20] in that because that discomfort is just
[52:23] simply growing pains, you know? Those
[52:25] are the things that like
[52:27] you've been feeling
[52:29] those brief moment of discomfort you
[52:31] might feel in a discovery phase, you
[52:34] felt the pain of that every day for your
[52:36] entire life.
[52:37] You're just realizing it now for the
[52:39] first time.
[52:41] And so, just sit there with it, and then
[52:43] that's how it will resolve itself, and
[52:45] you won't carry that with you anymore.
[52:47] >> And actually, it really does resolve
[52:50] itself
[52:51] >> Yeah.
[52:52] >> in the quiet of sitting. It would
[52:53] probably be a day when you were so
[52:55] uncomfortable, or several days. There's
[52:56] a big pain in your shoulder, your hip,
[52:58] your ass, your knee, whatever it is.
[53:00] That's what's happening. I have two more
[53:03] pages to read in the discover section
[53:04] because I think it's important, and we
[53:06] have the time. 140 to 141. They can't be
[53:09] taken separately.
[53:11] They have to be together. Page 140.
[53:14] The ego forces itself into every
[53:16] experience,
[53:17] which is why even small frictions cause
[53:20] reactions.
[53:22] Watching for this habit shows you that
[53:24] not only is most tension meaningless,
[53:29] but it likely has nothing to do with you
[53:31] in the first place.
[53:34] And then, sort of a coda, page 141. Just
[53:38] in case you didn't really get that.
[53:40] >> [laughter]
[53:42] >> Life is just happening.
[53:44] Happening is in italics. Life is just
[53:47] happening.
[53:48] It's not happening to you.
[53:51] Remember this
[53:52] when drama, conflict, or noise creates
[53:55] tension inside you.
[53:57] Or seems to, that's my note.
[53:59] The mind quickly builds a story about
[54:02] me,
[54:03] my problem, and this story fuels your
[54:07] emotions.
[54:08] But life is unfolding on its own.
[54:11] Most things that are happening that seem
[54:12] very close to you are not personal. Just
[54:15] events moving through time, here in one
[54:19] moment and gone the next.
[54:22] Let go of the story.
[54:24] Let go of the mental drama.
[54:26] Return your attention to the calm life
[54:29] flowing in front of you
[54:31] right now.
[54:34] Most things aren't personal.
[54:37] This is one of the biggest
[54:38] understandings and discoveries, if I
[54:40] may, that I made in this 10-day
[54:44] I feel like such a an amateur, only 10
[54:46] days, but
[54:47] I've made this discovery about myself. I
[54:50] was making everything about me. I was
[54:53] slowly learning over time being the
[54:55] parent of a teenager that it really
[54:56] wasn't about me, and I I got some good
[54:58] insight just in my parenting and
[55:00] practice prior to this.
[55:02] But during that 10 days when it was just
[55:05] all all all practice,
[55:07] I noticed the tension that I brought
[55:09] inside of myself willingly and choosing
[55:12] it.
[55:14] And then I started to not do that, and I
[55:16] started to watch, to your point here
[55:18] about everything changing here in one
[55:20] moment, gone the next. I just watched it
[55:22] constantly changing. Changing again, and
[55:26] then changing again. It changed my body,
[55:28] that pain moved to there, that pain
[55:30] softened, that pain heightened.
[55:32] And then it changed to my mind.
[55:35] And to learn that it really is just the
[55:36] physics of mind meeting matter and
[55:38] matter meeting mind
[55:40] became a such a revelation for me. And
[55:43] then having this book waiting for me
[55:46] when I got home, it was like the
[55:47] blessing on the blessing.
[55:49] And I was able to really put it all
[55:51] together in a way that made just worlds
[55:53] of sense.
[55:55] >> Beautiful.
[55:55] >> Thank you.
[55:56] >> Oh, that's beautiful. [clears throat] I
[55:57] love it. And I like that you mentioned,
[55:59] you know, that you felt like an amateur
[56:00] and I know you're just kind of joking,
[56:02] but that feeling, that's the one that we
[56:04] should all be looking for.
[56:07] That means that we're, you know, in new
[56:09] territory internally that we haven't
[56:11] rehearsed and parsed out and, you know,
[56:16] and made work for us you know, all the
[56:18] time. That's where the good stuff is.
[56:21] >> Gosh, become is the next section and the
[56:24] page that I pulled for this one is page
[56:27] 160. Underrated life skill.
[56:30] Knowing when to let your silence say
[56:32] everything.
[56:34] And I'm going to share something really
[56:35] deep and also really personal and
[56:37] probably TMI, but whatever.
[56:41] Sometimes in romantic situations with my
[56:44] partner, let's say,
[56:47] that silence becomes super, super sexy.
[56:50] Number one.
[56:51] >> Mhm.
[56:52] >> [clears throat]
[56:53] >> Number two, silence when it comes to my
[56:56] kid who's now starting to figure out
[56:59] where he wants to be in the world, what
[57:00] his job is going to be, does he want to
[57:02] go back to school, does he want to just
[57:04] work, who does he want to work for, does
[57:06] he want to settle and compromise,
[57:08] my silence in that situation totally
[57:11] different from the romantic one with my
[57:13] partner, says everything.
[57:16] I trust you is what that silence says. I
[57:19] trust you to make a good choice.
[57:21] Here are my experiences,
[57:23] but that's all I'm going to say.
[57:25] And I wonder where all of this lands for
[57:28] you, Corey, and what the become section
[57:30] for you really was and is.
[57:33] >> Mhm, I love those examples. That's such
[57:34] a great way to showcase the idea in
[57:37] there. Yeah, the become section is
[57:40] really about now that you have
[57:43] stepped out of the urgency and
[57:45] reactivity of modern life,
[57:48] you've explored and slowed down,
[57:50] discovered some things about yourself
[57:52] and what it means to live in a bit of a
[57:54] different way and to relate to yourself
[57:56] differently.
[57:58] The become is now let's turn that into
[58:02] who we are. Let's start living these
[58:04] ideas and see how they,
[58:07] you know, can exist in the world with
[58:09] us.
[58:10] And to the example that you shared for
[58:14] that reading is that yeah, the silence
[58:17] that is a very strong, a very powerful
[58:21] form of communication and some of the
[58:23] transmission there is like
[58:26] you don't have to
[58:28] over explain everything, you don't have
[58:30] to tap dance for the world.
[58:34] Sometimes you can communicate much
[58:37] cleaner and much more cleanly
[58:39] just through simplicity and sometimes
[58:41] through nothing at all because life
[58:42] isn't about words at the end of the day.
[58:46] Life is about feeling, it's about
[58:49] presence, it's about how you say things,
[58:52] not what you say. It's about the
[58:54] presence of your being in your life and
[58:58] how you're embodying that.
[59:00] Not just whatever quotes you've
[59:02] memorized.
[59:04] And so, yes, it's pointing to that
[59:07] deeper thing and you just extracted it
[59:09] beautifully.
[59:10] Which was in a romantic situation,
[59:13] silence could mean we're communicating
[59:17] on a level that makes language look
[59:19] laughable.
[59:20] And
[59:21] >> [clears throat]
[59:21] >> there's nothing to be said, no sounds to
[59:24] be made here because there's a
[59:26] connection and a communication that's
[59:27] just like it's way deeper than that.
[59:30] Say in relationship to your son, yeah,
[59:33] it's the silence is trust cuz it's like
[59:35] you don't need Mommy to tell you what to
[59:37] do. You know, and Mommy isn't going to
[59:39] insult you by telling you what to do.
[59:41] And she trusts you. And then this can
[59:44] also go to the less pleasant side of
[59:46] life.
[59:48] Which is somebody you know in your life
[59:49] is dramatic and is always, you know,
[59:52] talking or something like that.
[59:54] Silence can say, "I'm not interested in
[59:57] that."
[59:58] >> Yeah, I'm not taking part in that.
[59:59] >> Yeah, I'm not taking part in that.
[1:00:01] And and so on.
[1:00:03] >> Gosh, I could go on for days about this,
[1:00:05] but I have two pages in the arise
[1:00:06] section that I think really
[1:00:09] the final section of the book that
[1:00:10] really bring everything home.
[1:00:13] I'm on page 238 and 239.
[1:00:17] 238, "The world is loud and always
[1:00:20] seeking your attention. It will try to
[1:00:22] pull you into its urgency, outrage, and
[1:00:25] endless distractions."
[1:00:28] "Clarity and inner peace protect you
[1:00:31] from being drawn into life's drama.
[1:00:34] They help you see the noise without
[1:00:35] becoming the noise.
[1:00:37] Step back without disconnecting
[1:00:40] and continue living with your mental
[1:00:43] freedom."
[1:00:45] One of the reasons why I love this book
[1:00:47] is because yes to all of that. We've
[1:00:49] talked about this multiple times in many
[1:00:51] ways, but the facing page 239
[1:00:54] [clears throat]
[1:00:55] >> is the how.
[1:00:56] >> Here's the how. Ready?
[1:00:57] >> Mhm.
[1:00:58] >> "Your environment shapes your mind more
[1:01:00] than you might think.
[1:01:02] This is the instruction manual, dear
[1:01:04] listener.
[1:01:05] Design your space so distractions are
[1:01:08] out of sight and supportive tools are
[1:01:11] easy to access. Put meaningful books
[1:01:13] where you'll see them.
[1:01:15] Keep your phone out of reach.
[1:01:18] Make your meditation cushion visible.
[1:01:20] Always have a glass of water nearby.
[1:01:23] When your living space is set up well,
[1:01:26] good habits become easier to follow.
[1:01:28] You create less resistance to growth
[1:01:31] and stay aligned with the life you want
[1:01:33] to live.
[1:01:35] >> So beautiful.
[1:01:36] >> Thank you. Now, I love that you picked
[1:01:37] that one out. It also there's two things
[1:01:38] is that one
[1:01:40] you've noticed there the intentionality
[1:01:44] behind
[1:01:45] which page follows the next. Everything
[1:01:48] there is very intentional. So, look cuz
[1:01:50] this is the first short-form book I did
[1:01:52] instead of a long-form book,
[1:01:55] I know each page has its own
[1:01:57] self-contained idea, but those ideas
[1:01:59] need to talk to each other and need to
[1:02:01] flow and go somewhere.
[1:02:03] And so, if each section has about 50
[1:02:06] entries in it,
[1:02:07] I would write them all down
[1:02:09] and then I would go back and organize
[1:02:12] them. So, I have this this really cool
[1:02:13] app called Milanote, which you can
[1:02:15] basically have infinite amount of like
[1:02:18] what would basically be like digital
[1:02:19] post-it notes on your screen.
[1:02:21] And so, I'd write all these things and
[1:02:23] then go in and then sequence them and
[1:02:25] organize them to where
[1:02:27] each one opens an idea,
[1:02:30] but then the next one will pick up where
[1:02:32] that idea left off, but then open
[1:02:34] another idea and so on and so on and so
[1:02:37] on until the whole thing is just slowly
[1:02:38] morphing.
[1:02:40] So, it is showing you this way and this
[1:02:43] path
[1:02:44] even though
[1:02:46] each page is self-contained. So, I love
[1:02:48] that you noticed that. And
[1:02:49] the one that you just read almost didn't
[1:02:51] make the cut because I wondered if
[1:02:55] it would feel too out of context for
[1:02:58] some of the other stuff.
[1:02:59] >> [snorts]
[1:02:59] >> And then I thought, "No, that's the
[1:03:01] reason why it needs to stay."
[1:03:03] is because
[1:03:03] >> That's a recipe.
[1:03:04] >> Yeah, exactly.
[1:03:06] >> [laughter]
[1:03:06] >> Exactly.
[1:03:07] >> it.
[1:03:09] Um the first page, the clarity as
[1:03:11] protection, it reminds me of, you know,
[1:03:13] our love, Diego, [snorts]
[1:03:16] who got out the materials and the tools
[1:03:19] to blaze through the brush and pave this
[1:03:22] path.
[1:03:23] >> Mhm.
[1:03:24] >> Clarity is protection.
[1:03:26] >> Mhm. [clears throat]
[1:03:28] >> I don't know that would have made as
[1:03:30] much sense to me in your book
[1:03:33] without previously being so
[1:03:36] steeped in his work. Diego Perez, also
[1:03:38] known as Young Pueblo, previously
[1:03:40] mentioned here. Kind of a glue that
[1:03:43] brings you and me together
[1:03:45] and brings all of this great work
[1:03:50] to more and more humans, opening their
[1:03:54] minds and hearts up to the work that we
[1:03:56] do. And vice versa, of course. This
[1:03:59] echoes of him and his heart. And I just
[1:04:02] wanted to mention him and just say thank
[1:04:04] you. I think he is the one who
[1:04:05] introduced us and
[1:04:07] made me aware of you. And I'm just
[1:04:09] forever grateful
[1:04:11] for that.
[1:04:11] >> Oh, yeah. He's the man. Trying
[1:04:13] >> He's the man.
[1:04:14] >> [laughter]
[1:04:15] >> Uh, it's trying to feel
[1:04:18] to people expect
[1:04:21] people who they see that are public
[1:04:22] figures to be one way in public and
[1:04:25] another way in private, which is true to
[1:04:28] a degree. But, I like to tell people
[1:04:31] that Diego is better in private than he
[1:04:34] is in public.
[1:04:35] >> Oh my god.
[1:04:36] It's so true.
[1:04:38] It's so true. On the last night we got
[1:04:40] to sit with him and Sarah and have a
[1:04:43] moment with them. My best friend and I
[1:04:44] were both at the 10-day.
[1:04:46] And it was such a good um reminder of
[1:04:49] who he is. Not just the teacher in the
[1:04:51] front of the room, and not just the
[1:04:53] friend of mine, you know, that I've
[1:04:55] known for however many 15 years. There's
[1:04:58] somebody in there that really means it.
[1:05:01] This is really his life. This is really
[1:05:03] his path. He is really here to show us
[1:05:06] that all of us don't need to give up on
[1:05:09] this path just because we think we've
[1:05:11] been a certain way or we've made a
[1:05:12] certain mistake or a certain bunch of
[1:05:14] mistakes. No, we stay on the path. He's
[1:05:17] doing it. He stayed on the path. He's
[1:05:20] creating the space for himself to shine
[1:05:23] quietly,
[1:05:25] to be an example, and all of us are
[1:05:28] learning from that.
[1:05:29] >> Oh, yeah. And one of the things that
[1:05:30] people don't talk about with him or I
[1:05:33] don't see anyone giving him credit for,
[1:05:35] but I'm going to do it now,
[1:05:37] is that in his journey,
[1:05:39] like most of people we know are wealthy
[1:05:42] and notable public figures, right? Just
[1:05:45] we know so many of those people because
[1:05:46] of our industry that we're in.
[1:05:49] I have seen people go from not being
[1:05:52] that to being that and seen how they've
[1:05:54] changed through that process, which is
[1:05:56] an inescapable part of it. You do
[1:05:58] change. You have to change.
[1:06:01] The way that Diego
[1:06:03] has managed to
[1:06:05] in the increase of his profile, like
[1:06:08] profound increase of his profile,
[1:06:10] increase of his wealth, the increase of
[1:06:12] his connections in the industry, just
[1:06:14] globally with people who are, you know,
[1:06:17] entrepreneurs, people in the
[1:06:18] entertainment business, people in
[1:06:20] uh all sorts of sectors,
[1:06:23] the way that he has managed that and how
[1:06:26] he's let it inform his work, he's let it
[1:06:29] fuel the possibilities of his ideas,
[1:06:34] not change how he relates to other
[1:06:36] people or himself,
[1:06:38] cuz I've seen some bad versions of that.
[1:06:41] I was thinking of one this morning, as a
[1:06:43] matter of fact. [laughter]
[1:06:44] Um and I've been a party I've been, you
[1:06:47] know,
[1:06:48] close to some that have gone in
[1:06:51] unfavorable directions, but the way that
[1:06:53] he has managed that, I just think needs
[1:06:55] some love
[1:06:57] and respect because that's work that you
[1:06:58] don't get receipts for. People don't see
[1:07:01] that. There's not posts about that, but
[1:07:02] he's still doing that and uh it
[1:07:06] succeeding as well as he is is inner
[1:07:08] work.
[1:07:09] >> And behind every great man is a really
[1:07:12] [clears throat] incredible partner,
[1:07:13] woman in this case, Sarah. I'm going to
[1:07:16] give you some love and say if you ever
[1:07:18] listen to this, thank you so much for
[1:07:19] being a force of practice, femininity,
[1:07:23] and clarity. Because without you,
[1:07:26] the possibilities that Diego has to to
[1:07:29] show up in this way, to navigate this
[1:07:31] transition in this way,
[1:07:33] would not be possible.
[1:07:35] >> Absolutely.
[1:07:36] Absolutely. And I think having someone
[1:07:38] That's what one of the things him and I
[1:07:39] talk about that we've both been in, you
[1:07:41] know, really long-term relationships.
[1:07:44] And that that has a specific
[1:07:48] wisdom. Yes, signature and wisdom to
[1:07:50] where it doesn't let you play this
[1:07:54] character that you've became.
[1:07:57] >> You can try to be two different people,
[1:07:59] but you can't do it for long.
[1:08:00] >> Exactly. Exactly.
[1:08:02] >> going to work. Mhm. Oh, brother, thank
[1:08:04] you so much for all of this generous
[1:08:06] time and care and fun and depth and
[1:08:10] meaning. It's just everything. Thank you
[1:08:13] for this.
[1:08:13] >> Oh, it's been my pleasure. Yeah, thank
[1:08:15] you so much for creating the space and
[1:08:17] inviting me back and just bringing the
[1:08:20] your insight and your attention and your
[1:08:22] care to people and and also to the book
[1:08:26] and the writing and just the generosity.
[1:08:29] I really appreciate it. And also, I love
[1:08:31] that
[1:08:32] we did the longest podcast ever. That's
[1:08:34] become
[1:08:35] >> Ever.
[1:08:35] >> That's become an interesting trait
[1:08:39] [laughter]
[1:08:39] with the podcast I've done. I'm I'm
[1:08:42] about to really kick into high gear, but
[1:08:43] I've done a couple so far.
[1:08:46] And they've all broken the structure
[1:08:49] somehow. And I just love that because
[1:08:52] it's really
[1:08:54] it's the point of the book. And I love
[1:08:55] it's kind of shepherding this thing.
[1:08:57] Like the one you feed with Eric Zimmer.
[1:09:01] And you know, he always starts with the
[1:09:02] parable with the the two wolf parable.
[1:09:05] And he started that and he joked about
[1:09:07] like one day I'm going to drop it, but
[1:09:08] let's do it. And I go, hold on, hold on.
[1:09:10] You don't have to do it.
[1:09:12] >> [gasps]
[1:09:12] >> And he didn't do it.
[1:09:14] >> I don't know, let me think about it. I
[1:09:15] was like, man, this book is about
[1:09:19] recognizing
[1:09:20] where you're at, what pattern you've
[1:09:23] been in, noticing [clears throat]
[1:09:24] what isn't serving you, stepping out of
[1:09:27] that, and then choosing a different type
[1:09:30] of autonomy and personal sovereignty. If
[1:09:33] you don't want to do it, don't do the
[1:09:35] thing. And he goes, okay, you know what?
[1:09:36] We're not doing it.
[1:09:38] it. [laughter]
[1:09:39] It's off. Off the table. Oh, I love that
[1:09:42] guy so much. What an example too of
[1:09:45] clarity and sobriety and kindness.
[1:09:48] >> Yeah, and values, yeah.
[1:09:51] >> And values, yes.
[1:09:52] >> He's keeping it real in a landscape of
[1:09:54] podcast world that is
[1:09:56] >> [laughter]
[1:09:56] >> of unreality.
[1:09:58] >> Totally. Uh dear listeners, the last
[1:10:01] four pages of The Quiet Age, I'm going
[1:10:03] to leave them for you. They're a little
[1:10:05] present from Cory
[1:10:07] to you. Don't forget about them, the
[1:10:09] last four pages. And the book is called
[1:10:12] The Quiet Age.
[1:10:14] Cory Allen, c o r y a l l e n if you're
[1:10:18] going to go look him up right now, dear
[1:10:19] listener, you're my hero. Thank you for
[1:10:22] being.
[1:10:22] >> Thank you for being and thank you for
[1:10:24] having me.
[1:10:25] >> Oh, and thank your wife, too. She must
[1:10:26] be doing something things [laughter]
[1:10:27] right.
[1:10:28] >> I will. She is. Let me just say she's a
[1:10:31] soldier. Let's put it that way.
[1:10:33] >> I bet. I bet. [clears throat]
[1:10:35] So, thank you, woman. Thank you.
[1:10:38] Okay. More soon, dear friend.
[1:10:45] >> [music]
[1:10:50] [music]
[1:11:01] >> Hey.