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Inspiration

Internal GPS: How toRecognize Your Life's Purpose

Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
Sep 17, 2026
読了 約8分
視聴 · 7

In a conversation with Mel Robbins that carries the weight of four decades of influence, Oprah Winfrey sits down to teach what may be the simplest and most difficult lesson of a lifetime: you already have everything you need to become the fullest expression of yourself. "You have the power to literally fulfill the fullest expression of yourself as a human being," she says early in their talk, not as encouragement, but as fact.

This isn't the lesson of someone born to advantage. Oprah grew up in Mississippi, poor and Black in an environment where the law itself conspired against her freedom—where Black people were forbidden to be on the street after dark. She felt unloved, raised by grandparents and a mother whose own survival was a daily negotiation. Yet somewhere in that scarcity and pain, she learned to listen to something that Mel Robbins has spent decades watching from a distance and Oprah has spent a lifetime following: an internal GPS that exists inside every person, regardless of circumstance.

読む · 7セクション

The Internal GPS That Runs Through Your Life

Oprah's metaphor is deliberate and spatial. Not a calling that floats above you, waiting to be discovered. Not a purpose handed down by society or family or expectation. An internal GPS—a navigation system already installed, already calibrated, already knowing the terrain of your truest self. "Within each of us is this internal GPS," Oprah explains. "Mine is no different than yours. The difference is I'm obedient to mine."

The word "obedient" carries particular weight here. It suggests not struggle or striving, but alignment. Following instructions that are already there. What separates those who find their way from those who feel stuck, overwhelmed, exhausted, and confused is not talent or luck or access—it's whether they've learned to listen, and whether they have the courage to follow.

For many people, that listening begins not with affirmation but with negation. Oprah shares a story she has returned to throughout her life, a memory from when she was three or four years old in Mississippi. Her job was to carry the slop jar—the chamber pot—from her grandmother's house. One day, standing at the screen door watching her grandmother hang clothes on the line, a voice spoke to her with absolute clarity: I don't want to do this. Not as complaint. As instruction. "It's a feeling," she tells Robbins. "There is a particular story that you share about being three or four years old and watching your grandmother through the screen door and the voice spoke to you in a very firm way about what you don't want."

That internal negation—knowing what you don't want—is often more reliable than knowing what you do. If you're in a job that makes you feel trapped, Oprah says, that's vital information. Not a problem to solve with better time management. A signal that something is misaligned. "You're in a job that you don't want. That's telling you you don't want to be here. So, let's figure out where I actually do want to be."

When Your Life Goes Wrong: The Difference Between "Happening To" and "Happening For"

But Oprah didn't move through a perfect life of constant alignment. She made painful mistakes. She ignored her own intuition and paid the price. And somewhere in that process, she learned a distinction that separates people who recover from hardship and those who remain trapped by it.

There's what happens to you—the injury, the injustice, the betrayal, the thing outside your control. And there's what happens for you—the reason it happened, what it's teaching you, how it's shaping who you're becoming. The difference isn't semantic. It's the difference between victim and agent.

"I've never liked that saying 'everything happens for a reason,'" Oprah says. Instead, she frames it differently: "Once you could recognize why it was happening to you, it was also happening for you." The shift isn't about toxic positivity or pretending pain is good. It's about the moment you move from "Why is this happening to me?" to "What is this trying to teach me?" That moment changes everything.

Forgiveness: Giving Up the Hope That the Past Could Be Any Different

The path from stuck to free often runs through forgiveness—not as moral absolvement, but as a practical tool for liberation. Oprah offers a definition that has become her working philosophy: "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different."

It's deceptively simple and remarkably hard to apply. The holding on—to anger, to what-if, to righteous wound—can feel like the only way to stay tethered to what happened, to make sure the person who hurt you knows it mattered. But that rope connects you to pain, not to power. Forgiveness, in Oprah's framing, isn't about them. It's about you being willing to move forward.

She learned this lesson directly from T.D. Jakes, the pastor whose teaching on this subject "forever changed" her approach to her most difficult relationship: with her mother. When Oprah was a young adult and driving in Chicago with her mother, her mother made a simple statement: "We didn't have much." Oprah had been focused on what was missing, the scarcity. But Jakes taught her a principle that reframed everything: "What are you grateful for in what you do have?"

Her mother could cook. She made incredible collard greens. She made everything from nothing. That was what Oprah's mother gave her. Not money or stability, but the ability to create something beautiful from scarcity. The "10-gallon versus pint-size" lesson Oprah references became a metaphor for moving past resentment: you can either hold a grudge the size of a gallon, or you can choose to carry only a pint. You can choose differently about what you're holding and how much space it takes up in your life.

Intention: The Principle That Changes Everything

If the internal GPS is the navigation system, intention is the fuel. Oprah describes a shift that happened when she learned to say no—when she stopped being a people pleaser and started asking herself what she actually wanted. That's when she "carried that principle of intention" into everything, even the mundane.

"Even though that job may be boring," she explains, "every single move you make in that job"—if it's done with intention, if it's part of a larger purpose—"becomes a move toward that which you came here to do."

It's a radical reframing. You're not trapped in the job until you escape it. You're using the job as a platform. Your work is your platform. Your relationships are platforms. Each interaction is an opportunity to practice being the person you're becoming. Intention transforms drudgery into practice.

The Question That Changes Everything

Somewhere in her journey, Oprah learned to ask herself one question whenever something in her life is not working: "What is that trying to teach me?" Not "Why is this happening?" Not "How do I get out?" But "What is the information here? What am I supposed to learn?"

That single question short-circuits the loop of complaint and victimhood. It moves you from passivity to inquiry. From stuck to curious. And curiosity, it turns out, is the first movement toward freedom.

The Place Between Here and There

Oprah speaks about a particular trap that holds people in place: focusing so narrowly on what's directly in front of them that they can't see the larger connection. She uses the image of a window. Through it, you can see six things clearly. But beyond the window, there are hundreds. "I couldn't see the hundreds beyond the six through the window. So, so stuck because they can't see their connection to the thing that's greater than themselves."

This is the work of faith—not faith in God necessarily, though Oprah speaks often of honoring "that source"—but faith in something larger than your current circumstances. Faith that there's a reason you're here. Faith that your life is connected to a purpose beyond your survival.

Where to Go From Here

The practical path forward isn't mysterious. Sit with yourself long enough to hear what you already know. Notice what you don't want—it's often clearer than what you do. Ask yourself what's trying to teach you when things go wrong. Practice intention in the small moments, because they add up to a life. Release the hope that the past could be different, and move your energy toward what's possible now. And remember Oprah's central claim: the work of becoming yourself is the same work anyone has access to. You already have the tools. You have the GPS. The question is whether you're willing to be still enough to hear it and brave enough to follow.

Transcript

[0:00] Today on the Mel Robbins podcast, a life-changing  conversation with Oprah Winfrey. I'm [music] so  

[0:07] happy to be here with you. I really am.  I thought I would be coming to you. No,  

[0:13] I had to come to you. You could go anywhere  and talk to anyone. No, I had to come to you. A

[0:21] you were born to fulfill the dream of your  life here on Earth. You were born into  

[0:32] this planet, [music] into the density of this  gravitational pull to fulfill the dream of your  

[0:42] life and of the creator's dream of your life here  on Earth. Get about the business of doing that.  

[0:53] Whatever you're looking at is only a  piece of the picture of your whole life.

[1:05] Oprah Winfrey, welcome to the Mel Robbins  podcast. Oh my [screaming] gosh. I can't  

[1:12] I'm so glad I can reach you. Oh [laughter]  my gosh. Wow. Wow. Oh my gosh. Already. Hi.  

[1:21] Of course. Hi. [laughter] It's so good to see  you. I came to Boston to see you. Yes. Thank  

[1:28] you. I have always wanted to sit down and have  a conversation with you, but I always imagined  

[1:36] that I would be coming to you. Really? Yes. And  I guess the reason why is because I just thought,  

[1:43] well, you could go anywhere in the world and  talk to anybody. And it never even occurred to  

[1:49] me to think about or manifest you coming  here. Well, I appreciate the invitation  

[1:57] to actually be able to sit in your home space  because this is where you reign [laughter] and  

[2:05] this is where you reign and I have watched you  listen to you and I watch the bestsellers list  

[2:15] uh regularly and I am just so rooting for you. I  I have watched you become the voice of our time  

[2:24] in leading people home to themselves. This is why  one of the things I hope people get from you and  

[2:30] I today because I see so much of myself in you,  Mel. I actually see you do and am honored by who  

[2:40] you have become because I know for sure that some  of what I did and what I've said over the years,  

[2:49] you really got it. And you to me are like on the  ex the the the same mission in your own voice,  

[2:58] in your own way, through your own self-expression.  But to me, you are one of those people who took  

[3:05] the message of everything that we were trying to  say on the show, and you just paid it forward,  

[3:12] are moving it forward in your own way. So, it's  like every time I run into someone who says,  

[3:17] "I watched your show. My mother watched your show.  My grandmother watched your show. I watched your  

[3:21] show. I was a Latchki kid." It makes me feel like,  "Oh, you're a part of the children I raised." Yes.  

[3:27] And you are one of those. Yes. who's taken that  light and just blasted it through the world. Well,  

[3:33] that's one of the reasons why I was so excited to  welcome you here. For 44 years, I have been your  

[3:41] student. You have been my guide and my teacher.  [music] And I think that you have served that  

[3:47] role for hundreds of millions of people around the  world. There are [music] producers on this team  

[3:53] whose mothers learned English by watching your  show [clears throat] and your life and the way  

[4:01] you move through the world is an example of the  difference [music] that each and every one of us  

[4:07] can make. Mhm. I would love to have you speak  to the person who is here with us watching or  

[4:13] listening. Yes. And share your intention for this  conversation and how it might impact their life.

[4:22] My intention for flying to  Boston to be with you, Mel,  

[4:29] and to be with you all is to be used  as a light and a light that shines or  

[4:41] illuminates in a way that you can see yourself  through me, through my stories, through Mel,  

[4:47] through her stories and have that light ignited  within yourself. I believe that I've had

[4:58] just the most blessed life on earth. I just can't  [clears throat] get over how blessed I have been  

[5:08] in my life. I can't get over it. I marvel at  what God and the life forces have done for me.  

[5:18] I I marvel at that. But when I think  about it now from the point of view of 72,  

[5:25] I realize that what I have acquired is not  as magnificent or extraordinary as who I have  

[5:36] become. And I know that the world looks at what I  what I have acquired, but it's who I have become.  

[5:48] And I recognize that the work to become myself is  the same work and ability that everybody has to  

[5:57] become the most of themselves. And I am most  proud of the woman that I have become. And I  

[6:05] want everyone else to have that. I want you to  have that. I want before I leave this earth,  

[6:16] I want everybody to know that you have the power  to literally fulfill the fullest expression  

[6:25] of yourself as a human being. So that's why I  wanted to have this conversation with you today.  

[6:32] I believe everybody has come to do a service to  the planet. That's why we're here. I believe that  

[6:41] this is a I don't believe we're the only planet.  I don't believe we're the only life, but I believe  

[6:47] that this is a special one. I believe that this  is the Earth school where we all get to teach and  

[6:52] we all get to learn from one another. And right  now, a lot of us are messing that up because we've  

[6:59] missed the point. But I also know that within each  of us is this internal GPS within you. M mine is  

[7:10] no different than yours. Mine is no different  than yours. The difference is I'm obedient to  

[7:17] mine. Everybody has it. I just listened and I'm  obedient to mine. But every single person that  

[7:29] comes to the planet comes to the planet with the  ability to have that light with inside themselves  

[7:34] and to be guided by that light. And every time you  go off course, every time you allow yourself to  

[7:41] be out of alignment, things go wrong or you feel  stuck, you feel overwhelmed, you feel exhausted,  

[7:51] you feel that you can't go forward, you feel you  don't know what to do next, you feel confusion,  

[7:56] you feel but everybody has it. I know one of  the reasons why I think I was so successful  

[8:05] and we were number one for 25 years because I I  really did not see a difference between me and the  

[8:13] audience that was watching. I recognized that we  were the same and that I was the surrogate voice  

[8:19] for them. That I get to sit there and I get to  interview Tom Cruz and I get to interview all  

[8:23] the people. But what gave me the power to do it  was that I was speaking for the audience, not for  

[8:28] myself. And so I I do believe that a lot of people  are missing out because they're not obedient to  

[8:35] the call. And the call is within you. It's not  out here. It's not on social media. You're not  

[8:39] going to hear it from your friends. It means being  still enough to know what it is. And you can feel  

[8:44] it's just a it's a feeling, doesn't it? Wasn't it  a feeling? It's a feeling. There is a particular  

[8:49] story that you share about being three or four  years old and watching your grandmother through  

[8:55] the screen door and the voice spoke to you in a  very firm way about what you don't want. And I  

[9:03] think it might be helpful for the person listening  to understand that if you're not hearing it in  

[9:08] the affirmative, it may be easier for you to  hear it in the way that it's like nope or no,  

[9:14] don't. No, that is I just had an aha listening  to that. You're right. You're so right. A lot of  

[9:19] people are thinking, "What do I want to do?  What do I want to do?" Do you know what you  

[9:22] don't want to do? And a lot of times, you're in a  If you're in a job that you know you don't want,  

[9:29] that is that is vital information. You're in  the job that you don't want. That's telling you  

[9:36] you don't want to be here. So, let's figure out  where I actually do want to be. So this story I've  

[9:41] shared often but it so dear to me because it's  the only conscious memory I have of recognizing  

[9:50] the voice from the first time for the first time.  I had to be between four and five because that's  

[9:58] where like round memory starts. But I was very  very small and my job with my grandmother was to  

[10:07] take out we had what we call a slop jar because  there's no there was like a pea pot, you know,  

[10:12] for using the bathroom because you don't want to  go to the outhouse at night cuz it's too dark and  

[10:16] there might be snakes in there. And so my job  was as a little girl, too much responsibility,  

[10:23] to empty that pot every morning. My other job  was to, you know, sort the clothes pins for my  

[10:29] grandmother. She's hanging clothes on the line so  that she doesn't have to sort them and also pick  

[10:34] them up at the same time. Um, and also turning  butter because all you do to turn butter is  

[10:40] you just did there with the stick turnurning  butter. Butter had to be churned back then,  

[10:44] y'all. We didn't have butter. So, I was turning  butter on the back porch looking through the  

[10:51] screen door and it was cold and my grandmother  was hanging clothes on the line and I'd sorted  

[10:56] the clothes pins all in one place and she's just  picking up the clothes pins and hanging these  

[11:01] sheets because she was a domestic worker and had  brought the sheets home from the white people's  

[11:07] houses and was boiling them in the pot. That's  how we clean the sheets. And she said, "Opale,  

[11:17] you better watch me now cuz one day you going to  have to learn how to do this for yourself." And  

[11:24] I was just turning the butter and I was watching  her and this feeling came over me that literally  

[11:31] spoke to me and said, "No, you won't. this will  not be your life. But don't tell her [laughter]

[11:46] [laughter] cuz she will not appreciate that. I  I I want to hover on this. Yeah. Because there  

[11:54] are so many times in my life where I could not  hear I couldn't even hear the radio. I was so  

[12:00] confused. I mean, forget about that little whisper  inside me cuz the noise was so loud. The fear was  

[12:05] so loud the as you call it the disease to please  eat me away. So for the person who's listening who  

[12:14] has now heard there is a GPS a light inside you  because it begins here [snorts] and you have said  

[12:21] Oprah that I believe that every single one of us  Yes. You are listening right now. Oprah believes  

[12:28] I believe that you have a light within you. You  are here for a very unique and particular purpose.  

[12:34] Yeah. And and don't get confused that it's some  big thing that has to be seen. I think a lot of  

[12:39] people think when it's you talk about purpose.  What did you say? Okay. Hold on a second. I  

[12:43] want to make sure that you heard that. Don't get  confused that oh, it has to be a big thing. It has  

[12:50] to be Instagrammable. Yes. Yeah. I think that's  where we You're like, "Okay, my thing needs to  

[12:55] be out here." Yeah. No, no, no, no. That's that's  that's where you're wrong. It's in here. It's It's  

[12:59] in here. And it's also how do you best serve where  you are? You know when I ended the show I said you  

[13:08] know that I had had this this marvelous platform  of speaking to millions of people on a daily basis  

[13:15] but every person has a platform. Your family is  your platform. Your community is your platform.  

[13:21] Your church is your platform. Your job is your  platform. Your work. You have the ability to reach  

[13:26] and touch people's lives wherever you are. If you  touch the life, you still have a legacy. And so  

[13:31] for everybody, everyone who listens and hears  us, your legacy isn't the big big big picture.  

[13:39] It's what you're doing today. It's how you speak  to the person that's dry cleaners. It's how you  

[13:43] talk to the person who's parking your car. It's  how you it's how you're treating the people in  

[13:48] your immediate circle. That's how you will be  remembered. And so, and that's the heart print  

[13:55] that you leave or don't leave with people. Heart  print. Yes. It's the heart print that you leave  

[14:01] or don't leave. Actually, I learned that word  from a little guy named Mattie Stapanic who was  

[14:06] um on my show and was in a wheelchair and ended  up dying when he was 13, but really one of the  

[14:11] wisest little angels uh who' come to earth. And he  used to say, "Whenever you touch someone's heart,  

[14:19] whenever you moved, you're moved by something  someone does. you you you leave a heart print  

[14:24] and so we're leaving heartprints all the time and  you know that wonderful phrase that Maya has about  

[14:29] people don't remember what you say or what you did  but they always remember how you made them feel so  

[14:34] just be responsible for the energy that you're  carrying into the world and understanding that  

[14:39] you are you are a part of the bigger picture we  are all a part of the big thing we are all here  

[14:46] and I know it's so hard when [sighs] the price  of eggs. The price of everything, the price of  

[14:54] just living seems so overwhelming. But there is a  deeper reason other than just working to survive.  

[15:05] And when you recognize that, I think it gives you  room to breathe in a in a in in a deeper force  

[15:16] field. You know, it's not just about the job that  the real work of your life is to figure out why  

[15:23] you actually came. The real work of your life is  why did you actually come and I know I can tell  

[15:30] just by listening to you that you have figured  that out. Me? Yeah. That you are in service to  

[15:35] the call. Absolutely. In service that it's true.  Yeah. Yeah. It's true. And it wasn't always that  

[15:42] way. I wasn't It wasn't always that way for me. I  lived in chaos, fear, anxiety, self-destruction,  

[15:50] people pleasing, addiction. Oh my god. Like just  It's It's interesting cuz when you're in chaos  

[15:57] in your head Mhm. it's so loud that I could hear  what you're saying in those moments. Yeah. I feel  

[16:07] pulled to wanting to tap into the light and  to trust myself and to find that inner GPS.  

[16:14] I honestly didn't know how, which is why I kept  coming back to you. You would be the voice that  

[16:20] would silence everything. And then I would start  to practice what I was learning. And I would love  

[16:26] to have you expand on this because I know the  person that's thinking right now is is probably  

[16:31] thinking, "Okay, well, easy for you, easy, easy  for you, Oprah. Yes. Which is a deflection because  

[16:38] when you start to blame and and get triggered by  the very thing that could save you and help you  

[16:45] and free you, that's a sign that you want it, but  you don't know how. Having sat with so many people  

[16:53] that have found purpose and meaning and peace in  their life versus people who are very stuck. Mhm.  

[17:00] Is there a difference between those two people in  terms of if somebody's very stuck right now? Yeah,  

[17:07] I think the difference is if you're very stuck  right now, it's because you can't see the bigger  

[17:14] picture. You can't see that the source of all  being didn't bring you here to get you stuck. It  

[17:26] brought you here so that you can continue to move  forward and offer what you came to give to the  

[17:32] rest of us, to the rest of the world. That's all  we're all here to do is to bring our offerings.  

[17:39] And our offerings come from every lesson we've  ever learned. Don't you you you you see that now?  

[17:45] I Maya used Maya actually wrote a book called  I think it's a book of poetry called I wouldn't  

[17:50] take nothing for my journey now. But she used to  sing the song. It's an old hymn. I wouldn't take  

[17:55] nothing for my journey now. For my journey now.  For my journey now. Oh, I wouldn't take nothing  

[18:03] for my journey now. And I that means all the  stuff that was a part of the journey to this  

[18:11] moment. I wouldn't take nothing for it. Yeah. And  I feel that and I want you to know that whatever  

[18:21] has happened to you was also happening for you  once you could recognize why it was happening to  

[18:30] you no matter how horrible it was. And that's  why I can say in spite of the sexual abuse,  

[18:40] [clears throat] in spite of growing up poor, not  only in spite of, I am so grateful to have been  

[18:45] born literally red dirt road poor in Mississippi  with no running water and electricity. I am so  

[18:53] grateful for that. I am so grateful for having an  outhouse and not knowing what a bathroom was for  

[19:00] the first six years of my life. because it makes  every darn time I flush my toilets [laughter] like  

[19:08] a wow experience. I'm just like wow. So it makes  it makes coming from that dirt road so much more  

[19:21] thrilling that journey. If somebody's sitting  there thinking right now, especially the line  

[19:28] everything happens for you, Oprah. Yeah. I mean,  come on. Like the the the things that are violent  

[19:35] and terrifying and awful that I don't deserve.  How do you flip that in your mind so that the  

[19:42] things that happened to you don't keep you there?  Like cuz there's a real flip there. Cuz you know,  

[19:50] I've never liked that saying everything happens  for a reason. I know. because I just believe  

[19:55] that sometimes very cruel and unfair and horrible  things happen to people who don't deserve them.  

[20:02] But I think a lot about how to truly grow and  reclaim your life after something like that,  

[20:08] you have to find a reason to move forward after  it. Can you just dig even deeper for the person  

[20:17] who's really feeling like I don't know how to how  to embrace everything happens for me as a mindset  

[20:29] so I can move forward. Well, when it happens,  if you don't move forward, then you just get  

[20:37] stuck and your life debilitates. And one of the  things that becomes a debil a debilitating energy,  

[20:47] a debilitating force field. And so when I say it  happens for a reason, I don't mean, oh, there's a  

[20:52] reason for everything. I mean that when that thing  shows up for you [clears throat] that often feels  

[21:01] unfair, that often you don't understand, why  was I raped at nine? Why did that happen to me?  

[21:11] I at the time couldn't see any good coming  from it. Um why did I have to grow up poor in  

[21:19] Mississippi in an environment where it was illegal  for black people to be on the street after dark?  

[21:26] Um all the things that happened in in my family  life. Why why why was I raped again at 10 and 14?  

[21:34] Why why why why? I mean, I'm actually not supposed  to be here. And people have more horrific stories,  

[21:43] unimaginable stories than mine and yours.  So, I don't mean that like, oh, willy-nilly,  

[21:49] like, oh, everything's happening and there's a  reason for it. There's a reason for everything,  

[21:53] but it doesn't mean you're responsible for the  reason or that that thing should have happened  

[21:57] to you. Yes. And so, really bad things happen to  me. I grew up feeling very lonely and I know a lot  

[22:03] of people grow up most people grow up not getting  what they need. I remember doing a show with John  

[22:12] Bradshaw who is the founder of the whole inner  child movement. John Bradshaw did an exercise  

[22:17] where he had people go back into their childhoods  and look through the window. Walk yourself home  

[22:24] and then look through the window of your home and  what do you see? And I saw myself separated from  

[22:31] my grandmother and my grandfather, but feeling  very much alone. I don't actually remember feeling  

[22:39] loved by my mother or my grandmother growing up.  I now know they loved me in the best way they knew  

[22:48] how. But I didn't feel it. And because I didn't  feel it and didn't get what I needed, that is what  

[22:57] inspired me to be such a talker, that's to be a  speaker, to be an orator, to do so well in school  

[23:04] because that's where my validation came from. I  got I felt no validation from home. So I felt love  

[23:10] from my teachers. I felt pleasing my teachers  ma made my teachers like me. I felt I felt a  

[23:18] sense of satisfaction and worthiness outside my  home, not inside my home. Because I didn't get  

[23:26] that from the people that I needed it from. I got  it from the world. I got it from strangers. Yes.  

[23:34] Because we all have a design for our lives.  You know, one of the things that impressed me  

[23:40] uh so much to be able to find peace within my  own family because I grew up, as I said, not  

[23:47] feeling loved. But once I became Oprah Winfrey,  everybody loved me. [clears throat] Everybody. I  

[23:58] was driving in Chicago and my mother was in  the car and she goes, "We didn't have much,  

[24:04] but we sure had love." I almost wrecked the car.  Like, what are you talking about? What? Who are  

[24:13] you? Who are you talking to? I said, "What did you  just say?" She goes, "Well, we didn't have much,  

[24:18] but we sure had love." When So, I know that I  never felt it. I know that I was never shown it. I  

[24:28] don't remember one moment ever when my mother ever  complimented me or said, "I'm proud of you." I do  

[24:38] remember being young and reading in the house and  it was summer and it was hot and I was s sitting  

[24:44] in a corner reading and my mother goes, "What you  doing in here sitting up in here reading in the  

[24:48] house? You need to get out there with all these  other kids. You think you better than everybody  

[24:51] else just sitting up in this house reading." So,  I remember being punished for wanting to read. I  

[24:56] I don't ever remember, but I made peace with my  mother. I made peace long before she died. Well,  

[25:05] this is one of the pivotal things that I learned  from you and it was the like life class that you  

[25:13] did with TD Jake and I would love for you to share  what he taught you because it forever changed  

[25:21] my ability to see thing people in my life very  differently. Could you explain cuz that was Oh,  

[25:30] that was a f fantastic life class that I did with  him and I it actually struck me too cuz I remember  

[25:36] crying like tears just shot out flowing when he  said that because it was so affirming for me.  

[25:45] He said that you're a 10gon person. I'm a 10-gon  person. A lot of you are 10 gallon people trying  

[25:55] to get 10 gallons worth of love from pintsiz  people who cannot carry the 10 gallons. They  

[26:03] can't even carry the gallon. You're looking for  10 gallon love, 10 gallon responses, 10gallon  

[26:10] reception, 10gallon acceptance from people who  have a pintsiz ability. So what I learned from  

[26:20] that is that expecting people to offer you or give  you the love, the attention that you need who do  

[26:31] not have the capacity to do it. They just they  don't have the they don't have it. And you have  

[26:40] to recognize they don't have it. So what do they  have? Can I accept you exactly where you are with  

[26:49] what you do have? And so my mother could cook.  She made some an incredible collarded greens  

[26:56] and could make cornbread like nobody else. And she  and that was the way she offered love and her idea  

[27:03] just like I know a lot of you have grown up with  with parents especially if you're my generation  

[27:08] or below my generation. You have parents who  thought because I provided for you that was love.  

[27:15] You had food on the table. You had shelter. You  weren't on the streets. That was that was that was  

[27:21] all I had. That was all I had. And I realize now  my mother was a was a was a maid her entire life  

[27:28] until I retired her. My grandmother was a maid,  a domestic worker. And [clears throat] taking  

[27:35] care of other people's kids. You're giving all of  your energy to taking care of other people's kids.  

[27:40] putting on the face for them, wearing the  mask for them, and by the time you came home,  

[27:46] you had nothing left for me. I recognize  that now. And I forgive that. And you know,  

[27:54] my favorite definition. Oh, well, I'm going  to let you say it cuz this changed my life,  

[27:58] too. Your definition of forgiveness. Yes. is  giving up the hope that the past could be any  

[28:09] different. If you are still wishing, hoping,  wanting what happened to you to be something  

[28:17] different than what it was, that will leave  you so stuck. So for you forgive for yourself,  

[28:25] you forgive. you forgive to say I am going to  release this thing that happened to me and ex  

[28:34] first of all get to the stage that requires all  of us to move forward and that is acceptance.  

[28:41] You know Elizabeth Kougler Ross in her uh Krueger  Ross in her famous you know five stages of grief.  

[28:47] Yeah. You know, you you go through denial and  you go through anger about it and you go through  

[28:52] telling yourself it could be different and then  you get to acceptance. When you get to acceptance,  

[28:59] when you've lost someone or any other job  or relationship, when you get to acceptance,  

[29:06] acceptance leads you to freedom. And until you  get there, you're still just living in the past.  

[29:11] You're hoping that it could be different. That  is that is the best definition I I've ever known.  

[29:16] It's hard to apply when you first hear it  because there's so much holding on to and  

[29:21] bargaining with and wishing things were different  and the wishing things were different. Whether  

[29:27] it's wishing this tragedy didn't happen  or wishing the mom or the dad could have  

[29:33] been a 10gon [music] person even though they're a  pint-sized person. It keeps the pain alive. Yeah.

[29:41] Oh my gosh. It's Mel. I have an invitation. I  want you to come with me to Vegas to experience  

[29:47] something extraordinary with Oprah Winfrey.  Yes. It's the ultimate aha moment. It's not a  

[29:53] show. It's an experience. It's to be felt, not  just seen. This is at Sphere [music] and it's  

[30:01] not a speech. It's not a show. It's an immersive  experience. I cannot wait to be in the audience  

[30:07] with you, Oprah. Yeah. I have had this dream for  quite a while and I want people to come along and  

[30:14] experience consistent aha moments of awe, wonder  and joy. Ah, I need wonder. I need joy. I need the  

[30:21] [music] connection. I cannot wait to experience  what you've put together. Aha. April 2nd through  

[30:27] the 4th live at Sphere. [music] It's a call to  wonder. A call to joy. To joy and the ultimate aa  

[30:33] moment. Visit ahalive.com for pre-sale sign up and  travel packages. And you better go fast. I already  

[30:39] got my tickets. I'm going with my daughters and  some Oh my gosh. I'll see you in the audience.

[30:50] You talked about how you had a job in the [music]  beginning hosting a show. Yeah. And then you had  

[30:56] an awakening when you realized through the power  of your intention, you could use this platform as  

[31:02] a force for good. You know, in the beginning, I  was just I was just doing a job just like so many  

[31:06] people that are listening to us and watching  us right now. I was just working at a job.  

[31:12] But that decision to change my job and my work  into a force for good to actually use it as not  

[31:25] just a show to recognize it's not just a show  but you have a platform here and you can use  

[31:31] this to help other people see themselves but you  know I had got caught up into the whole you know  

[31:39] confrontational television and My producers were  so proud of themselves because they had gotten a a  

[31:47] a guy to come on with his mistress and his wife,  which unheard of that you can get the three of  

[31:53] them together. Wow. On national television. So,  they were on the show and I had no idea. I mean,  

[32:01] I'd read the background and he was having the  affair and she was he, this was not in our,  

[32:07] you know, in our preview. [clears throat] And so  he says to her on the air to his wife, he turns  

[32:16] to his wife and he says, "Well, what you don't  know is that she's pregnant." [snorts] And I'm  

[32:21] telling you, the audience gasped. I gasped. And I  looked at her face and I said, "Never again will  

[32:32] that happen to me. Never again." I was so angry  with myself and angry upset [clears throat] with  

[32:40] the producers who were so proud of themselves  and they go, "We didn't know he was going to say  

[32:44] that. We didn't know he was going to say because  her humiliation still abides with me." M but was  

[32:51] a great teacher for me cuz I thought the worst  thing you can ever do if y'all are listening if  

[32:58] you're listening right now the worst thing you  can ever do to anybody is to cause them to be  

[33:06] humiliated. That's why if you've got to criticize  somebody, if you have something to say to somebody  

[33:11] that's going to be hurtful or is going to put  them in a position where they feel devastated,  

[33:16] you never ever ever do that in front of other  people. because then they have the humiliation and  

[33:23] then the shame of it. So I said to myself, I c I  I can't I I cannot live with myself doing that to  

[33:33] somebody. And I apologized to her afterwards and  him afterwards. We're on live television, though.  

[33:38] We're on live television. I know she never got  over it cuz I have still to this day never gotten  

[33:44] over it. And I said to my producers, "Never again  will that happen. We're not doing that anymore."  

[33:53] Cuz around this time, 19 in the late 1980s, I  was reading Gary Zukov's book, Seed of the Soul.  

[34:02] And in that book, one of the best books of my life  actually, and he has two chapters on intention.  

[34:10] And he talks about intention being one with cause  and effect. And you all know that cause and effect  

[34:19] is the first is the law of karma. It is what  you put out is coming back. And when I got that,  

[34:27] I got it. It changed everything for me because I  used to be such a huge people pleaser. I didn't  

[34:34] know how to say no. And what I learned from the  principle of intention is that if you're saying  

[34:41] yes because you want to please the person, that  is what they feel. They feel your pleasure. They  

[34:48] feel your acquiescence. They feel your desire to  make them feel okay. They don't know that behind  

[34:56] it you are resentful. You don't know. They don't  recognize that behind it you really didn't want  

[35:01] to do it cuz you said you wanted to. You said  yes. Yeah. So, as soon as I got clear on, oh,  

[35:07] the reason why people keep coming back is because  they are feeling my intention of wanting to please  

[35:15] them and not wanting to hurt their feelings.  So, I don't hurt their feelings. Not only do I  

[35:18] not hurt their feelings, I make them feel pretty  good. That's why when you loan money or you give  

[35:23] something or you're the person who's carpooling  and they always ask you to be the carpooler, it's  

[35:27] because they know when they come to you, you're  going to say yes. And so when I learned to say no,  

[35:34] when I learned to say no, that for myself, I then  carried that principle of intention. I sat down  

[35:40] with all the producers and said, "We're no longer  going to do a show unless we come from the point  

[35:46] of view of intention." So when you present me the  ideas, I want the intention for the idea alongside  

[35:52] the idea. Yes. And so every show then after 1989  became designed around the intention of how are we  

[36:02] going to let people be enlightened, uplift them,  see something today, hear something today that's  

[36:08] an aha moment for them that changes the direction  for them. Yes, you as you're listening or watching  

[36:14] right now, you have a platform right in front of  your face. It's your family. It's your community.  

[36:19] And through the power of your intention, you can  start to be a force for good exactly where you  

[36:28] are. And I would say, let me just say to you, if  you're just at a job right now, shift the paradigm  

[36:36] in your mind about the why you're doing that job.  Even if you say, "Well, I'm just doing this job  

[36:45] uh to make money for my family because I've got  to make ends meet." Then let every single step you  

[36:52] take in that job, every single move you make in  that job, even though that job may be boring and  

[36:56] even though that job may be irritating to you,  let it be for the love of your family. Never,  

[37:03] ever, ever lose sight every day you're walking out  of the door. This I do for the love of my family.  

[37:11] This I do to show that I am a provider and one  who can offer to my family a sense of safety,  

[37:18] a sense of comfort. Just that little shift  makes a difference in the way the work day  

[37:26] moves. And whatever the job or the work is to be  able to shift it to how do I use this thing that  

[37:34] I'm doing that is boring the hell out of me or  that is irritating to me and I got a boss. How  

[37:39] do I use this in service to something greater than  myself? How do I use this to serve? And you know,  

[37:48] I've had these conversations with people who  have supposedly, you know, you know, dull jobs  

[37:53] and whatever. And I sat down with a guy one day  and by the end of the our little conversation,  

[37:57] he was crying. I was saying, "So, why do you do  this work? And what are you doing it for?" And  

[38:02] what does he goes? Well, I'm just just, you know,  I I got to pay the bills. And so, you're paying  

[38:06] the bills for what? I'm paying the bills. So my  family can eat and and you're paying the bill so  

[38:11] your family can eat and who is your family and  tell me about your daughter and yeah. So when  

[38:15] you change the paradigm of what you're doing  and shift why you're doing it to an intention  

[38:23] behind doing it, it it it lightens it. It lightens  it. Cuz if we go back to some of your teaching,  

[38:28] the energy you put out is the energy you get back.  So if you are bargaining with life and not able to  

[38:35] accept it, the energy is resistance. Absolutely.  And if you're in the energy of resistance,  

[38:40] you're going to be stuck in resistance. And so I  often ask myself, if something's not going the way  

[38:45] I want, what is it I'm resisting? Oh, okay. So, if  you're in a like, can you put give me an example?  

[38:50] Something's not going the way you want and you're  starting to feel bothered by it or upset or stuck.  

[38:55] Yeah. You ask yourself, what am I resisting?  What am I resisting? For every every person who  

[39:01] is listening to us right now, you're listening to  us right now. is you you know whether or not your  

[39:08] life is in flow or not. It can't flow unless  you're in flow. And so if you're out of order,  

[39:14] your house is out of order, your closets, your  car. I was just sharing with somebody the other  

[39:20] day that I used to drive this little Chevy chevet  and it was I would do my hair on the way to work  

[39:24] and I'd take the rollers out and I throw the  rollers in the back and change my at the stop  

[39:28] signs and and then at one point I if you do that  every day after a while you look in your car and  

[39:34] your car is like a wreck and I was like coming  to my car one day and I looked in the car and I  

[39:39] was like whoa my life is like that right now. This  car represents my life right now. And so I started  

[39:48] taking them out one roller at a time, one roller  at a time, finding 25 cents under the car seat,  

[39:53] all that stuff. But I have learned that getting  out of flow with myself, getting off center,  

[40:01] not listening to this inner GPS is what causes  disruption in all the areas of of of my of my  

[40:07] life. I've heard you say and that one of the most  important questions that you can ask yourself is  

[40:14] what do I really want? Want? Yeah. Why is that  such a hard question for so many people to answer?  

[40:21] Because most people that I have encountered,  you know, in my life experience of talking to  

[40:28] thousands and thousands of people and I used to  sit after the show, you know, with everybody and  

[40:33] literally talk to the audiences about where you're  from and what you want and what do you want to do?  

[40:38] And I'd ask that question, tell me what do you  want? And women would stand up and say, well,  

[40:42] I just want to be happy, Oper. I just want to be  happy. And I say, well, what would make you happy?  

[40:47] They'd say, well, my children. And what's going to  make you happy when your children are no longer in  

[40:52] the home? What makes you happy other than your  children being happy? What makes you h? Most  

[41:00] people could not identify that. And what does that  happiness look like for you? So, are you going  

[41:06] to live your dream or are you going to live the  dream that the world has decided that Instagram  

[41:14] has decided that X has decided that threads have  decided that you should live? What is you the  

[41:22] dream you hold in your heart? And the the reason  why I wanted to talk to you about this is because  

[41:28] you and your audience understand that there's  more. Oh, and I started to listen to my audience  

[41:35] back in the when did this happen? Late 80s, early  90s. And women started to actually say out loud  

[41:42] to me, Mel, you know, I've done everything. When  I say, "What do you want?" They say, "I've done  

[41:46] everything. I got the college degree. I'm married.  I have the house. I have the all the things. I  

[41:52] have the luset pots. I have the whole I have the  things. But it just feels like there's got to be  

[41:59] more than this. There's something more. there's  something more. And I said to my producers,  

[42:06] people keep saying the same thing that they  realize that there's more. And I believe we know  

[42:15] what it is. And we got to show them what it is.  What they're missing is a is is is the connection  

[42:21] to the spirit spiritual core within themselves.  Not a religion, which I got accused of. Overtown  

[42:27] trying to create her own church. Over started  the church over. No, there's they're missing the  

[42:32] essence [clears throat] within themselves. They're  missing being centered in that GPS guidance for  

[42:37] themselves. So, how do we give them that? And  we started Mel doing these little clips called  

[42:42] Remembering Your Spirit. And I remember doing  a show where Carolyn Mays was on with her book,  

[42:49] Anatomy of Spirit, and the audience was watching,  but I could see they had gone they had gone  

[42:56] somewhere else. And I stopped the show and I said,  "Hey, are you all not tracking?" And they said,  

[43:01] "Well, what is she talking about spirit?" This was  in '92. Wow. In 1992. In 1992, people didn't know,  

[43:11] weren't familiar. They said, "Are you talking  about Jesus? Are you talking about Moses? What  

[43:15] are you talking about?" I said, "No, I'm talking  about you have a mind, right? You have a body,  

[43:20] you have a soul, or you have a spirit." That's  what she's talking about. The soul of yourself.  

[43:25] There's something deeper than just your mind  that you feel in the most quiet still moments of  

[43:31] your being with yourself. Yeah. And that's the  something more that you're talking about that  

[43:37] you're looking for. And if you stay connected  to that thing, you will never be guided wrong.  

[43:42] Now I can talk the talk and most days I live it.  But oh my god, when it came time to end the show,

[43:56] I made one of the biggest mistakes actually of  my life and that is I didn't listen to that GPS  

[44:05] and I struggle. I mean 2012 was one of the  worst life the worst years of my life. Every  

[44:11] single story headline about me was Oprah and the  Struggling Own Network. Oprah and the Struggling  

[44:16] Own Network. And it was hurtful and painful to me  because it was the truth. I was struggling. I was  

[44:24] hurting. And I was so angry with myself. What  did you not listen to? I did not listen to the  

[44:33] voice inside myself was so strong telling me not  to do it that I would wake up in the middle of  

[44:40] the night [gasps] and couldn't breathe. And I'd  say don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't  

[44:45] do it. Don't do it. Then I'd say, "But I already  signed. I already signed. Already said I was going  

[44:52] to do it." You dummy. [laughter] What? I already  said you're a human. Yeah. How dare you? I know. I  

[45:02] But I already said I was going to do it and now I  I got to be my word. I got to g keep my word. But  

[45:07] here's what's interesting. Let's I Let's pull this  apart because I want to learn from you because  

[45:11] I don't want to wake up. Yeah. 5 years from now.  When you say I have to keep my word. Yeah. We must  

[45:21] from this point forward Oprah add to who? Yeah.  Or whom? To whom? Yeah. Am I keeping my word to  

[45:29] the outside life? Yeah. Or am I keeping my word to  the inside? And what I ultimately understand now  

[45:36] that that decision was because I was keeping my  word, not because I wanted to keep my word. This  

[45:41] is the real truth. I've never said this before. I  was keeping my word because I was trying to please  

[45:47] the people on the other side. H I was trying to  please I was thinking what are they going to think  

[45:54] of me for changing my mind and this is what I want  you all to learn from the lesson I knew but didn't  

[46:04] pay attention to you always have the right to  change your mind if the people are in the church  

[46:16] sitting in the pews and you're getting ready to  walk down the aisle and you know inside yourself  

[46:23] I should not be marrying this person you always  have the right if you know I talked to someone a  

[46:31] long why are you getting married you you don't  even argue with each other but the invitations  

[46:36] have gone out you always have the right to change  your mind and so I didn't take my own lesson from  

[46:45] that and I struggled I struggled I struggled you  know that's the thing about the irrefutable laws  

[46:50] of the universe. You don't just learn them once.  You don't learn them once. You have to learn them  

[46:54] over and over. I have to learn that again. I knew  it. I knew it. I knew it. And that's why I was so  

[46:59] angry with myself. Why? Why do you think it was  happening for you? Yeah, it was happening for  

[47:03] me. So, what why if you zoom out and say I needed  that because of why? What was the lesson in that?  

[47:15] The lesson in it was that you didn't take it the  first time. cuz I'd already made that mistake.  

[47:20] And [clears throat] and this is what I also know  that if you don't get the lesson, it comes around  

[47:24] wearing a different pair of pants. What does  it feel like in your body when you're out of  

[47:28] alignment? Oh, I was I was sick. I was I was I was  like behind a wall. I wasn't, you know, clinically  

[47:35] depressed, but I was I become I became like  numb and and numb and numb to receiving, numb to  

[47:44] giving, numb to just like trying to fix it. How do  we fix it? How do we fix it? What do I do? What do  

[47:50] I do? What do I do? So I and and and and if you've  ever made a mistake and you knew before making the  

[47:59] mistake it was a mistake. There's nothing worse  than being mad at yourself. Oh is it where you say  

[48:06] I knew that I knew that I knew no knew that I knew  that and I still did it and but I also understand  

[48:14] that it was not being guided. I mean, you can't do  better than the universe can't do any better for  

[48:19] you than you waking up in the middle of the night  and you can't breathe. Okay? Did you hear that?  

[48:23] If you're waking up in the middle of the night,  you can't breathe. If you're pulling into a job  

[48:27] that you hate going into, if you see the text  message from the person and you go, "Gh, yeah,  

[48:35] that is a huge sledgehammer from the universe  that we ignore and [music] ignore and ignore.

[48:44] Hey, it's Mel. I have a crazy amazing invitation.  I want you to come to Vegas with me and Oprah  

[48:50] Winfrey. Please come because it's going to be  the ultimate aha experience using the sphere as  

[48:59] um a lighthouse to really ignite the light within  people. they they're going to feel something  

[49:05] really profoundly with a sense of knowing your  greater value to the planet [music] to intention  

[49:12] to your calling and your purpose. That's that's  the whole idea. Holy cow. It's at [music] the  

[49:16] sphere April 2nd through the 4th. You do not  want to miss this. It's going to awaken something  

[49:24] incredible in you. You're going to get exactly  what you need. Connection, [music] inspiration,  

[49:29] holy cow, community. Your mind is going  to be blown. Aha. April 2nd through the  

[49:33] 4th live at Sphere. A call to wonder to joy and  the ultimate aha. [screaming] Visit ahalive.com  

[49:42] for pre-sale sign up and travel packages.  [music] And you better go fast. I already  

[49:45] got my tickets. I'm going with my daughters and  some Oh my gosh. I'll see you in the audience.

[49:53] The Mel Robbins podcast is proudly sponsored  by Amica Insurance, our exclusive auto, home,  

[50:00] and life insurance partner. It feels so good to  be understood and that's something Amica really  

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[51:00] I [music] want to read to you this passage in  your blockbuster bestsellers. This is the 10th  

[51:05] anniversary edition. What I know for sure. What  I love about this book is that it's all essays  

[51:10] from O magazine and that you wrote and as I  read each one, I can remember reading it. Oh,  

[51:16] really? Cuz you read every magazine. Oh, did I?  Ever. I was a student. I was a student. Um I love  

[51:23] this. This is on page 39. Whenever I'm faced with  a difficult decision, I ask myself, "What would I  

[51:30] do if I weren't afraid of making mistake, feeling  rejected, looking foolish, or being alone?" I know  

[51:36] for sure that when you remove the fear, the answer  you've been searching for comes into focus. And  

[51:42] as you walk into what you fear, you should know  for sure that your deepest struggle can, and if  

[51:49] you're willing and open, produce your greatest  strength. Mhm. for the person who's listening  

[51:56] right now and like in those moments when you're  afraid and you start to question everything. Mhm.  

[52:05] How do you find the truth when the fear is so  loud? Cuz the truth can feel quiet or or scary.  

[52:17] This reminds me of uh moving from Baltimore  to Chicago and everybody around me telling  

[52:25] me that the move to Chicago was going to destroy  me and that I was living in Baltimore and you're  

[52:32] you're doing well and you're an anchor woman and  you should just keep this job. And my father,  

[52:37] my own father was like, "Well, you're not  going to ever find a job like this again."  

[52:42] uh and it was safe. But this is  this is the most important thing.

[52:52] Understanding that the source whatever you call  it from which you've come has put you here for a  

[53:02] greater reason than whatever the small thing in  front of you is. whatever you're looking at is  

[53:11] only a piece of the picture of your whole life. So  one of the reasons why I've been able to maintain  

[53:19] the center of myself is because even in that  moment of struggle with own in the beginning  

[53:26] of building that network I was sad I was numbed I  was depressed I was angry with myself but I knew  

[53:34] trouble don't last always I knew that that too  would eventually pass I didn't know how because  

[53:42] I live in the center of knowing that there's  bigger reason why I'm here. And I have always  

[53:50] understood that. I've always understood that I  am a child of the universe. I am God's child.  

[53:58] I am born to Vernon and Verita Lee. But my coming  here is such a freaking miracle. My parents were  

[54:07] only together one time. One time. They never It  was literally a one afternoon delight stand. It  

[54:18] wasn't even a one night stand. One time. And I  born colored. We weren't even black then. Colored  

[54:30] in Mississippi where the dream for a colored  girl, the dream for a colored girl did not exist.

[54:42] So this miracle that has become my life I know  exists for everybody who is willing to tap into  

[54:52] the source of themselves to that and that's what  has eliminated my my my my ultimate fears. I mean,  

[55:02] I was I've been anxious about things, but I know  that ultimately I belong to something bigger than  

[55:08] myself and that my reason for being here is bigger  than a job or bigger than what I could even know.  

[55:15] And so my my message and my offering to your  audience is to ask the life force to use you  

[55:29] for its highest good. Not you just tell it what  you want to use you for its highest good. I I  

[55:38] I [clears throat] will share this story. There was  there was a producer of mine in Baltimore who was  

[55:45] the richest person I'd ever seen or known. Her  name was Arlene Weiner. Her husband's a famous  

[55:52] attorney there. And they I went to her house  in when I was 28, 29 years old. And she had us  

[55:59] all over. And I was like, "Wow, Arlene is rich."  And I went into her home and there it is looking  

[56:10] out the window. All these trees in the front yard  just like I counted six trees out of her window.  

[56:17] I thought, "Wow, if I ever get some money, I'm  going to have me some trees. I don't care about  

[56:23] the cars, but I'm going to have me some trees."  And one morning I was sitting in the uh kitchen  

[56:29] waiting on the the water to boil making tea and  I looked out the window and there were the six  

[56:36] trees. I went whoa. There were those trees that  I'd seen in Arlene's yard. And I walked out around  

[56:50] to the porch and I loo counted the trees, but I  couldn't even count all of the trees. I could see  

[56:58] the six from the window, but I couldn't see the  hundreds beyond the six through the window. So,  

[57:05] I literally You've been to my home. I live in  a forest. Yeah. I had a dream for six trees.  

[57:15] My dream was six trees. The life force that I  call God had a bigger dream for me. And that  

[57:23] is my message. Whatever dream you're dreaming,  surrender that dream to the force that brought  

[57:30] you here, regardless of what name you give that  force. Because what I know is the force by all  

[57:36] the names that we call God, ain't jealous  about the name. You know, it's [laughter]

[57:43] ain't going to be jealous about the name. It's not  going to say, "Oh, you didn't call me Allah. You  

[57:48] didn't call me Jehovah. You didn't call me God."  Okay? Whatever you call that, whatever that is,  

[57:55] the life force that brought you here. Lean into  that dream for you. Cuz there is a dream for your  

[58:05] life, for your life, for my life. Don't live in  your little small six tree dream. Don't live it  

[58:12] live in the forest of dreams for yourself. Lean  into that. And I think the reason why people are  

[58:18] so stuck because they can't see their connection  to the thing that's greater than themselves. Your  

[58:24] life isn't this small. It's it it belongs to the  world. It belongs to the world. The reason why  

[58:30] we're all here is to give to the world. To give  to myself. To feed myself. to take the lessons  

[58:38] that I have learned to go forward to understand  what happened to me happened to me so that I can  

[58:43] use it. I was raped so that I could help other  women who were raped. I was not seen so that I  

[58:51] could see other people. All the things that I  didn't get, I now can give to other people as  

[58:59] can you. As can you as you are doing that's what  it's for. When you say it's all happening for a  

[59:05] reason. Oh my goodness. It's happening so that it  feeds and fuels you in a way that you have more  

[59:14] to give. That's the lesson that we're missing.  And we're missing it because we're so we're so  

[59:20] narrowly tracked. We're like in our phones and and  you think your life is this big. You think your  

[59:25] life is this big, but it belongs to the world.  Belongs to the world. And I want you to really  

[59:31] pay attention because I remember moments in my  life where my life felt so small. The job I hated,  

[59:39] the relationship I didn't have the courage to get  out of, the debt that I was in, the anxiety I was  

[59:44] feeling. I've been there, too. I've been there.  And And here's the thing that is hard to believe,  

[59:51] but I'm going to say it anyway. Yeah. If you  can get yourself out of bed and if you can get  

[59:56] yourself out the door, you can do a little  experiment where you can prove to yourself  

[1:00:02] that you are powerful beyond measure. In fact, I  just did it this morning. It was 5:55 and I had  

[1:00:08] come out of the hotel and I was walking across a  crosswalk and there was a woman that was walking  

[1:00:14] that had her shoulders down and was looking at  the ground and was like frowny face and walking  

[1:00:19] and you know it's 5:55 and as I walked up to her  I smiled and just said good morning and she perked  

[1:00:27] right up and said well good morning and we just  smiled and had this positive energy exchange. And  

[1:00:38] that tiny little thing that you miss that's  right in front of your face is this enormous  

[1:00:44] power that you have through your energy and your  attitude to flip a switch inside somebody else.  

[1:00:50] I know. And when you do that, you are being of  service. And the energy that you're putting out,  

[1:00:57] despite how horrible things may be that are  going on in your life right now, it shows you  

[1:01:04] and it shifts it. Yes. Yeah. It doesn't pay the  bills. It doesn't pay the bills, but it shifts  

[1:01:10] something in you to know that you still have the  power to positively impact somebody else. And I  

[1:01:15] think that's how it begins. Yeah. At least that's  how it began for me. Yeah. Is to notice. And you  

[1:01:21] already said it. Every person Yes. You listening,  you have a platform. Your platform is your family,  

[1:01:26] your roommate, the people that you work with.  It's the person that you meet or you pass and  

[1:01:31] don't smile to. Yeah. And recognizing the power  that you have to impact people positively is how  

[1:01:42] you start to center yourself in a deeper source.  That is number one. That certainly recognizing  

[1:01:48] that. And the other really crucial thing is the  religion that I practice which is gratitude. I  

[1:01:56] will tell you beyond a shadow of any doubt that  I have for any human being who's listening to us  

[1:02:03] right now that if you start a sincere consistent  practice of gratitude your life will shift because  

[1:02:13] it is energetically vibrationally um it causes  your energy to change and the vibration to change  

[1:02:21] and also what you then begin to attract into your  life to change. It's the single greatest thing  

[1:02:28] anybody can do from where you are. No matter  how down you are, how stuck you are, is you  

[1:02:33] start looking at what you have instead of what  you haven't. And you just practice it. You just  

[1:02:38] you just do five things. If you can't do five, do  three. And if you can't get to three, look at your  

[1:02:42] breath. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. You're still  breathing. And I'm thinking for myself when I'm in  

[1:02:49] uh in flow is when I'm in my period of gratitude.  I am most in flow and my life most works most  

[1:02:59] perfectly when I am in in the gratitude state.  This is the thing I know people listening to this  

[1:03:04] think well okay easy to do because you're Oprah. I  got to be Oprah by doing that. M that's how I got  

[1:03:13] to be where I am by doing that. Um I you know I  have I have had a practice of honoring that source  

[1:03:24] that's greater than myself since I was a little  girl. I mean I grew up speaking in the church  

[1:03:31] and having the people say to my grandmother,  "Hatty May, this here is a talking child. You got  

[1:03:35] yourself a talking child here." And so talking and  using my voice and being able to express to other  

[1:03:45] people and I realize now so people talk about  what is your purpose? What is your purpose? What  

[1:03:51] is your purpose? How do you find your purpose?  No matter who you are listening, if you were to  

[1:03:56] pass away today, the people who eulogize you would  connect the dots of your life and at your funeral  

[1:04:04] or memorial service would talk about what you  offered, what you brought to them. And wherever  

[1:04:11] you are in the journey, you are already creating  a thread of purpose that flows through everything  

[1:04:19] that you've done. And mine is inspiration and has  been since I was four years old speaking in the  

[1:04:27] Kaziesco church standing on a stage reciting and  people saying my my my my little child can talk  

[1:04:38] and then being a great an ortor and winning all  of the oratory contests when I was in school. That  

[1:04:46] thread of speaking is what prepared me for the  first audition when I sat down to do the radio  

[1:04:54] show and then being recognized and brought into  television. That thread has led me to sitting the  

[1:05:03] Mel Robbins podcast. [laughter] Okay. That thread  has brought me here today. And everyone listening  

[1:05:09] to us has a thread. What's your thread? What is  carried through? What is the thing or theme that  

[1:05:16] has been through the course of your life? Mine is  inspiration. What's yours? Encouragement. There  

[1:05:21] you go. Yeah. Encouragement. Encouragement.  Yes. That's exactly what you do. Yeah. Cuz I  

[1:05:28] think it's easy to have the information or to  get it. Yeah. But if you believe and convince  

[1:05:35] yourself it won't work for you, Yeah. you won't  do the things that change your life. That's the  

[1:05:39] difference. That's what you do. And so I weave  encouragement through everything because I know  

[1:05:44] it's what I've always needed. Yeah. Because when  you can't when you don't believe in yourself,  

[1:05:50] being able to borrow somebody else's belief in  your ability can really help. And that's what  

[1:05:54] encouragement that's what you do. Yeah. Girl,  you're on it. [laughter] You know, there's a as  

[1:06:00] you were talking about purpose, it reminded me of  one of my favorite ways to think about purpose,  

[1:06:06] which is that purpose is not the thing that you  do. Purpose is the thing that happens in others  

[1:06:14] when you do the thing you do. Oo, I like that one.  I need to write that down. Purpose [laughter] is  

[1:06:19] not the thing that you do. Purpose is not the  thing that you do. Yeah. Purpose is the thing that  

[1:06:25] happens in others when you do the thing that you  do. I love that, Miss Mel, because it it really  

[1:06:34] weaves together what you were saying about how  purpose doesn't have to be this big thing that  

[1:06:39] you put on Instagram. It's actually something  very quiet that you practice every day. Yeah.  

[1:06:44] And it also ties in what Maya said to you about  it's it's how you make people feel. Yeah. And as  

[1:06:52] you start doing the small thing, the small thing  leads I think the problem. One of the I actually  

[1:07:00] do think it's a problem um with the way social  media works is that I think a lot of people are  

[1:07:08] just constantly bombarded with the lives of other  people and trying to keep up with that. Mh. And so  

[1:07:16] you think your life is supposed to look like that  and and it's just coming from every direction.  

[1:07:22] Every direction is telling you and you haven't  gotten still enough with yourself. The answers  

[1:07:28] are not out there. They just are not out there.  You know the voice of God. God silence is the  

[1:07:39] language of God. Silence is the language of God.  And you can't hear it unless you are still enough,  

[1:07:50] quiet enough within yourself. The moment you're  asking out there and asking everybody and what  

[1:07:54] should I do and what should I do and what should  I do? That's the moment that you get still. And  

[1:07:59] even if still is just sitting on the toilet seat  with the door closed, with the door closed. Well,  

[1:08:08] for some of us, that's the only place that we can  everybody just to be still, to be able to feel  

[1:08:16] what that thing is. It's trying to get through.  There's nobody born that doesn't have it. You  

[1:08:21] know, I have a I have a very good friend who  was giving advice to one of my daughters, funny  

[1:08:27] enough, and he was saying to her, "Listen, you got  a lot of gifts to give. Don't you dare show up in  

[1:08:33] heaven with your pockets full with that song you  didn't sing or that book you didn't write or that  

[1:08:38] smile you didn't share. Is there anything left  that you're still wanting to share or teach? Um,

[1:08:48] I was standing in the sphere in Las Vegas  after the Bono concert and I'd gone with  

[1:08:55] friends and we'd had the Bono and when it was  all over, I walked to the edge of where we'd  

[1:09:04] been seating and they were all behind me and  everybody was over to the side and they were  

[1:09:09] all cheering each other because it was the first  performance of you two, Bono at the Sphere. But  

[1:09:14] I was standing alone on the side and I had that  feeling, the same one I felt when I was 5 years  

[1:09:25] old on the back porch. And it was as clear to me.  It said, "Wow, what just happened here? You could  

[1:09:39] take people to the edge of the universe. You could  use this stage, this screen, this window into the  

[1:09:47] universe to allow people to connect to themselves  in a way that they have never experienced before.

[1:09:56] You could connect them to the universe and to  themselves and to each other. That is what that  

[1:10:02] feeling said to me. It was a voice and it was a  feeling. And it was exactly the same as when I was  

[1:10:08] 5 years old. It said, "Huh, this is an incredible  arena, an incredible venue. I I didn't even know  

[1:10:16] what I had just seen, but it's not being used  to its maximum potential." You could use it to  

[1:10:25] its maximum potential. How do you do that and  share the experience of what it means to be  

[1:10:33] fully alive with people? How do you connect  people to the light within themselves using  

[1:10:40] the tools of this space? That's what the voice  said to me. This is this was 2023. Wow. 2023. So  

[1:10:50] almost three years ago. It's almost three years  ago. And in the beginning, everybody thought was  

[1:10:54] thinking of it as a show. And I was like, it's  not a show. It's an experience. It's to be felt,  

[1:11:02] not just seen. How do we bring the team together  that can create feelings for people? And so now  

[1:11:12] three years later, this dream is being scored by  one of the greatest musical composers on earth,  

[1:11:19] Max Richtor. So it's an immersive musical  light experience of people coming together to  

[1:11:29] ignite the light within ourselves. You know what  I think is so amazing about this? And I want you  

[1:11:33] to really consider everything that Oprah has  poured into you and shared with you today. I  

[1:11:40] think it's easy when you're standing in a moment  and you look backwards. Yeah. To see how all the  

[1:11:46] dots connect. Yeah. And it requires deep faith to  stand in the present moment and believe that where  

[1:11:56] you are is leading you somewhere. Yeah. And it is  much larger and grander than anything you could  

[1:12:03] possibly imagine for yourself if you keep walking  in that faith. If you keep telling the truth. If  

[1:12:08] you keep staying centered and grounded [clears  throat] in your intention and you follow these  

[1:12:15] fundamental laws that you have taught us. The  energy you put out is the energy you get back. I  

[1:12:21] think it's really cool that even for somebody like  you Yeah. who has achieved things that are beyond  

[1:12:28] our wildest imaginations that here you are doing  something that even 5 years ago was not even on  

[1:12:37] your radar. Wasn't on my radar. Was not something  you would have possibly imagined was a thing. No.  

[1:12:42] And so it proves yet again. Yeah. how when you're  clear about the way you're showing up and serving  

[1:12:49] the world and you're clear about the reason why  you're here, which is inspiration. Yeah. That life  

[1:12:57] does rise up. Yeah. And I my my prayer has always  been use me. Show me how. Show me. Show me. Show  

[1:13:04] me. Show me. What is the next? Is there a next?  Oh, you just want me to rest? I'll do that, too.  

[1:13:11] uh by actually being in conversation with  the life force within me has led me to the  

[1:13:20] highest grounds possible for myself and I've  been asking that how can I be used I mean I  

[1:13:25] am 72 and very much aware of the urgency of time  very much aware that I have one solid good decade  

[1:13:40] left very much aware. So I'm looking at my life as  though I am going I have one solid decade left to  

[1:13:49] give and offer the message that I came to give and  to do it with clarity and do it with love and do  

[1:13:58] it without ego and to do it as an offering to say  this is why I came. I think we should all steal  

[1:14:05] what you said when you said, "I believe I have  a decade to do what I came to do." Yeah. And I  

[1:14:16] don't care how young or old you are. Imagine if  you started living as if you had a decade. You  

[1:14:24] had a decade to do what you came here to do. And  how that focus shifts your intention. You know,  

[1:14:32] the big dream for me right now is the sphere,  but I also realize in every day um in every in  

[1:14:41] my everyday life that every encounter that people  are that people are seeing me and that I feel like  

[1:14:49] it is my responsibility to actually also see them  as well. It's beautiful. Yeah. I want to read to  

[1:14:56] you page 79. Mhm. What I know for sure. Okay. What  did I know then? Well, when you make loving others  

[1:15:04] the story of your life, oh, there's never a  final chapter because the legacy continues,  

[1:15:10] you lend your light to one person and he or she  shines it on another and another and another.  

[1:15:17] And I know for sure that in the final analysis  of our lives, when the to-do lists are no more,  

[1:15:23] when the frenzy is finished, when our email boxes  are empty, the only thing that will have any  

[1:15:29] lasting value is whether we've loved others and  whether [music] they've loved us. And I can tell  

[1:15:37] you for sure that I know for sure that you loved  us and we all love you. Thank you. Thank you.  

[1:15:46] Thank you. Thank you. Oprah Winfrey, what  are your parting words? [sighs and gasps]

[1:16:01] My parting words are, "You were born to  fulfill the dream of your life here on Earth.  

[1:16:14] You were born into this planet, into the density  of this gravitational [music] pull to fulfill the  

[1:16:25] dream of your life and of the creator's dream of  your life here on earth. Get about the business  

[1:16:35] of doing that. [laughter] You heard her. Get  about the business of doing that. That's right.  

[1:16:42] about the business. I love you, Oprah Winfrey.  I love you too, Mel. Thank you for having me. Oh  

[1:16:47] my gosh. Thank you. And thank you. Thank you for  making the time. [music] Thank you for spending  

[1:16:51] it with me and Oprah. And thank you for being  generous with this conversation with the people  

[1:16:57] in your life. It is a gift that you can give to  other people that will inspire them, awaken them,  

[1:17:03] remind them. And in case no one else tells you  today, as your friend, I wanted to be sure to  

[1:17:08] tell you that I love you. I believe in you. And I  believe in your ability to create a better life.  

[1:17:13] Now get about the business of freaking doing  it. Of freaking doing it. [laughter] Can you  

[1:17:18] believe that episode just happened? I mean, it's  24 hours later and I'm now sitting back in the  

[1:17:24] seat. I cannot believe Oprah was there. I'm so  thrilled that you were here with us. I know that  

[1:17:30] it stirred something deep [music] inside you. And  here's what I hope. I hope that you are generous  

[1:17:36] with this episode. that if it awakened something  in you, if you were reminded of something that  

[1:17:42] you needed to hear, that you copy and paste  this link and you share this with everybody  

[1:17:47] in your life because [music] that episode of  the Mel Robbins podcast is an offering to the  

[1:17:53] world and to everybody that you love. [music]  So, thank you in advance for being generous  

[1:17:57] and helping us spread the power of good around  [music] the world. I really appreciate that.  

[1:18:04] Okay, I know that now that you're inspired, you  want to watch something else. This is going to be  

[1:18:08] an extraordinary episode for you to watch next.  And I'll welcome you in the moment you hit play.

Mel Robbins
ArtistMel Robbins

Watch more from Mel Robbins on YouTube.

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よくある質問

According to Oprah, your internal GPS is already inside you—it's a feeling, not a thought. Start by noticing what you don't want (which is often clearer than what you do), and practice being still enough to listen. The GPS speaks through intuition and alignment; when something feels wrong, that's information.
Oprah suggests asking: 'What is that trying to teach me?' The shift from 'Why is this happening to me?' to 'What is it happening for me?' transforms you from victim to agent. Once you understand the lesson or purpose, you can move forward instead of staying stuck in resentment.
Oprah defines forgiveness as 'giving up the hope that the past could be any different.' It's not about absolving someone else—it's about freeing yourself. Holding onto anger keeps you tethered to pain; forgiveness is the decision to move your energy toward what's possible now.
Not the way you're thinking about it. Oprah teaches that every job, every relationship, every moment is a platform if you approach it with intention. Even boring work becomes purposeful when you do it deliberately as part of your larger becoming, while you figure out your next step.
When something in your life isn't working, ask: 'What is that trying to teach me?' This question shifts you from complaint to inquiry, from passivity to agency, and opens you to the information the universe is giving you.
Oprah says you feel it in your body. When you're in alignment with your internal GPS, things flow. When you're out of alignment—ignoring your intuition, living for others' approval, going against what you know is true—you feel stuck, overwhelmed, exhausted, or confused. Those feelings are signals, not problems.

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