Teaching on play
“In safety, the body remembers how to play.”
BV
Bessel van der Kolk

Bessel van der Kolk's assertion that "In safety, the body remembers how to play" invites us to explore the profound connection between our physical state and our capacity for joy and creativity. This statement underscores the importance of safety in the healing process, suggesting that when we feel secure, our innate ability to engage in playfulness and spontaneity emerges. The stakes are high, as many individuals carry the weight of trauma that stifles their capacity for joy, leaving them disconnected from their bodies and the world around them.

Delving deeper, we recognize that play is not merely a frivolous activity but a vital aspect of human experience that fosters connection, creativity, and healing. In a state of safety, our bodies can access the playful spirit that is often buried beneath layers of fear and anxiety. This quote serves as a reminder that reclaiming our ability to play is essential for holistic healing, allowing us to reconnect with our true selves and the joy that life has to offer.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in van der Kolk's quote evokes a sense of liberation and lightness, suggesting that the body holds within it the wisdom of play. The verb "remembers" implies that play is an inherent quality, one that may be obscured by trauma but is never entirely lost. This notion of memory speaks to the body's capacity to store experiences and emotions, highlighting the importance of creating a safe environment where this playful essence can resurface.

Metaphorically, the quote suggests that safety acts as a fertile ground for the seeds of play to germinate. Just as a garden flourishes when nurtured, so too does the spirit of play thrive in an atmosphere of security. This interplay between safety and play reveals a deeper truth about the human experience: that our capacity for joy and creativity is intricately linked to our sense of safety and belonging.

In the speaker's tradition

Situated within the realm of trauma healing, Bessel van der Kolk's insights resonate with concepts found in various spiritual traditions. The idea of safety as a prerequisite for play aligns with the Buddhist notion of *sunyata*, or emptiness, which emphasizes the importance of creating space for new experiences to arise. Similarly, the concept of *kenosis*, or self-emptying, invites individuals to let go of past traumas, allowing for the emergence of a more playful and authentic self.

In his seminal work, "The Body Keeps the Score," van der Kolk draws upon a wealth of research and personal anecdotes to illustrate the profound impact of trauma on the body and mind. He emphasizes the necessity of creating a safe environment for healing, echoing the sentiments found in the teachings of mindfulness and somatic practices. Just as the body holds onto trauma, it also possesses the capacity to remember joy, and this duality is central to the healing journey.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a child who has experienced trauma may struggle to engage in play with peers, often feeling isolated and fearful. In a safe environment, perhaps facilitated by a compassionate caregiver or therapist, this child can gradually rediscover the joy of play. Through gentle encouragement and the establishment of trust, the child learns that it is safe to express themselves, allowing their natural inclination toward playfulness to flourish once more.

In relationships, this teaching can manifest during moments of conflict or tension. When partners create a safe space for open communication, they can access their playful sides, transforming potentially destructive arguments into opportunities for connection and understanding. By fostering an environment of safety, individuals can navigate difficult moments with a sense of humor and creativity, ultimately deepening their bond and enhancing their emotional resilience.

A reflection

As we contemplate van der Kolk's profound insight, we are invited to reflect on our own relationship with safety and play. In what ways have past experiences shaped our ability to engage in playfulness, and how might we cultivate a sense of safety to reconnect with this essential aspect of our humanity? Consider this question as a guiding light on your journey toward healing and self-discovery.

Artist
Bessel van der Kolk

Wisdom from Bessel van der Kolk.

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Bessel van der Kolk emphasizes that when individuals feel safe, their bodies can access the innate ability to engage in playfulness and creativity. This connection highlights the importance of safety in the healing process, suggesting that trauma can inhibit our capacity for joy, which can be reclaimed in a secure environment.
To apply this teaching, focus on creating safe spaces in your daily interactions, whether at home or work. Engage in activities that foster connection and joy, allowing yourself and others to experience playfulness without fear of judgment or reprisal.
Yes, the concept of safety as a prerequisite for healing and play is echoed in various trauma-healing texts, including those that explore somatic practices and mindfulness. Authors like Peter Levine and Pat Ogden also emphasize the importance of creating a safe environment for individuals to reconnect with their bodies and emotions.
Safety refers to a deeper sense of security that allows individuals to express themselves freely, while comfort may simply imply a lack of distress. Safety encompasses emotional and psychological well-being, enabling the exploration of play, whereas comfort might not necessarily facilitate the same level of engagement or healing.
Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and body awareness exercises, can support the cultivation of safety and playfulness. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and self-acceptance can help individuals reconnect with their bodies and foster a sense of safety that encourages playful expression.
To foster safety in relationships, prioritize open communication and active listening. Create an environment where both partners feel valued and respected, allowing for vulnerability and playfulness to emerge without fear of judgment.

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