Teaching on session
“Each session is a small step toward home.”
BV
Bessel van der Kolk

Bessel van der Kolk's poignant assertion, "Each session is a small step toward home," encapsulates the essence of healing through trauma. In this context, "home" symbolizes not merely a physical space but a state of being—one of safety, integration, and wholeness. The significance of this quote lies in its recognition that healing is not a singular event but a gradual process, where each therapeutic encounter contributes to reclaiming one's sense of self and belonging. This understanding is crucial for those navigating the often tumultuous waters of trauma recovery.

Delving deeper, we find that the notion of "session" implies a sacred space where individuals can confront their pain and begin to stitch together the fragmented pieces of their lives. Each session serves as a stepping stone, a moment of courage where vulnerability is met with compassion. This journey home is not linear; it is filled with both progress and setbacks, yet each step is imbued with the potential for transformation. Recognizing this can empower individuals to embrace their healing journey with patience and resilience.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in van der Kolk's quote evokes a profound sense of movement and progression. The word "step" suggests an active engagement with the healing process, while "home" conjures feelings of safety, comfort, and belonging. This metaphorical journey implies that healing is not merely about addressing symptoms but about returning to a place of inner peace and authenticity. Each session, therefore, becomes a vital part of a larger narrative, one that weaves together the threads of past experiences into a coherent tapestry of self.

In the speaker's tradition

Within the framework of trauma healing, Bessel van der Kolk's insights resonate deeply with concepts found in various spiritual traditions. The idea of "home" can be likened to the Buddhist notion of "sunyata," or emptiness, which invites individuals to let go of attachments and return to a state of pure awareness. Similarly, the concept of "kenosis," or self-emptying, found in Christian mysticism, emphasizes the importance of releasing the burdens of past traumas to make space for healing and renewal. Both traditions underscore the necessity of moving through suffering to arrive at a place of wholeness.

In his seminal work, "The Body Keeps the Score," van der Kolk draws upon a wealth of research and personal narratives that illustrate the profound impact of trauma on the body and mind. His emphasis on the body as a vessel for healing aligns with the teachings of many spiritual traditions that advocate for embodied practices, such as mindfulness and somatic experiencing. These practices serve as pathways to reconnect with the self, facilitating a return to "home" through awareness and acceptance of one's physical and emotional experiences.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where an individual grapples with the aftermath of a traumatic event, such as a car accident. Each therapy session becomes a small step toward reclaiming a sense of safety and normalcy. In these sessions, the individual may explore feelings of fear and anxiety, gradually learning to navigate the world again. The process is not instantaneous; it requires patience and commitment, but with each step taken, the individual moves closer to feeling at home in their body and mind once more.

In a different context, imagine a relationship strained by unresolved trauma. One partner may feel distant, unable to connect due to past wounds. Through open communication and shared therapeutic sessions, both partners can take small steps toward understanding and healing. Each conversation, each moment of vulnerability, becomes a step toward creating a safe space where love and trust can flourish, ultimately leading both individuals back to a shared sense of home within their relationship.

A reflection

As we contemplate van der Kolk's profound statement, we are invited to reflect on our own journeys. What does "home" mean to you, and how can you take small steps toward reclaiming that sense of belonging? In moments of difficulty, consider how each experience, each session, contributes to your path of healing. Allow this question to guide your introspection as you navigate the complexities of your own life and relationships.

Artist
Bessel van der Kolk

Wisdom from Bessel van der Kolk.

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Van der Kolk emphasizes that healing from trauma is a gradual process, where each therapeutic session contributes to a sense of safety and wholeness. 'Home' symbolizes a state of being where one feels integrated and at peace, and each session represents a step toward reclaiming that state.
You can apply this teaching by recognizing that healing is a journey, not a destination. Embrace each small step you take, whether through therapy, self-care, or mindfulness practices, as a vital part of your path toward feeling whole and at home within yourself.
Yes, the concept of gradual healing is prevalent in many trauma-healing texts. Works by authors like Peter Levine and Gabor Maté also emphasize the importance of small, incremental steps in the recovery process, highlighting the body's role in healing trauma.
Kenosis refers to the self-emptying process that allows individuals to release past burdens, while the idea of home represents the state of wholeness and safety one seeks to achieve. Both concepts are interconnected, as the act of letting go can facilitate a return to one's true self, or 'home'.
Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and somatic experiencing, can support this teaching by helping individuals become more aware of their bodies and emotions. These practices encourage a gentle exploration of one's experiences, fostering a sense of safety and connection to oneself.

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