What is Loving Kindness?
Loving kindness is a meditative practice and quality of heart that cultivates unconditional goodwill, benevolence, and friendliness toward oneself and all beings. In Sanskrit and Pali, the term maitrī/mettā refers to benevolence, loving-kindness, friendliness, amity, good will, and active interest in others. Unlike affection based on attachment or conditions, loving kindness seeks the welfare and happiness of all sentient beings without ulterior motive. Metta meditation, or loving-kindness meditation, is a Buddhist practice for cultivating compassion for ourselves and others through directing loving, friendly phrases and goodwill.
Origins & Lineage
Mettā is found in pre-Buddhist Vedic Sanskrit texts as Maitrī, Maitra, and Mitra, which are derived from the ancient root Mid (love). These Vedic words appear in the Samhita, Aranyaka, Brahmana, and Upanishad layers of texts in the Rigveda, Samaveda, Yajurveda, and Atharvaveda. According to Ian Harris, the Buddhist scriptures acknowledge that the metta-concept containing four Brahmavihara meditation practices “did not originate within the Buddhist tradition”.
Within Buddhism, the practice originates from the historical Buddha’s early discourse on immeasurable friendliness, the Metta Sutta. The Karaṇīyamettā Sutta is found in the Suttanipāta (Sn 1.8) and Khuddakapāṭha (Khp 9). The Buddha taught this practice to monks in approximately the 5th-6th century BCE. The Mettanisamsa Sutta is found in the Anguttara Nikaya (AN 11.15) and extols the benefits of mettā. Within Buddhism, metta is notably the first of the four sublime states (Brahmaviharas), one of the ten pāramīs of Theravāda Buddhism, and expounded upon in the Metta Sutta.
The 5th-century scholar Acariya Buddhaghosa received the story and teachings from an unbroken line of elders going back to the days of Buddha himself. The systematic approach, including the idea of expanding circles of metta, originates in the Visuddhimagga’s instructions and has been widely adopted up to the present day.
How It’s Practiced
The practice generally consists of silent repetitions of phrases such as “may you be happy” or “may you be free from suffering”, for example directed at a person who, depending on tradition, may or may not be internally visualized. In the most common version of metta practice, we offer these feelings of goodwill through the use of simple phrases first to ourselves, and in succession to someone we love, someone we’re indifferent towards, someone we consider a “difficult person,” and finally to all beings, everywhere.
Practitioners typically sit comfortably and begin with phrases directed at themselves, such as “May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease.” The practice gradually increases in difficulty with respect to the targets that receive the practitioner’s compassion or loving-kindness. At first the practitioner is targeting oneself, then loved ones, neutral ones, difficult ones, and finally all beings. Sessions often last 15-20 minutes, though even brief practice yields benefit.
Loving Kindness Today
Sharon Salzberg is an author and teacher of Buddhist meditation practice in the West who in 1974 co-founded the Insight Meditation Society at Barre, Massachusetts, with Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein. She is among the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over fifty years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Contemporary practitioners encounter loving kindness through meditation retreats at centers like Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, guided recordings, apps, online courses, and drop-in classes at mindfulness studios worldwide. Metta as “compassion meditation” is often practiced in Asia by broadcast chanting, wherein monks chant for the laity.
The contemporary evolution of metta has not been without critique. Some traditionalists express concern that in the rush to secularize and even commercialize mindfulness practices, the deeper ethical and philosophical context of metta can be lost. Critics argue that portraying it as just another wellness tool (a way to feel good or reduce stress) risks downplaying its radical call for unconditional, altruistic love.
Common Misconceptions
Loving kindness is not passive sentimentality or “mushy” affection. Though it has the word “loving”, it is not love based on affection, craving or attachment. Its primary aim is to develop altruistic limitless love to all sentient beings with no ulterior motives, irrespective of whether they deserve it or not. In true loving kindness there is no self-interest or attachment and the absolute motive should be the welfare and happiness of other beings. It does not require liking everyone or condoning harmful behavior. When referring to cultivating loving-kindness, the practice involves a bone-deep sense of connection. Focusing on compassion means that meditation consists of the wish to relieve a being from suffering, whereas focusing on loving-kindness means wishing a being happiness. The practice does not always produce immediate warm feelings; practitioners may feel nothing for extended periods, yet the practice still effects change.
How to Begin
Begin with Sharon Salzberg’s book Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness (1995), which remains the foundational Western text on the practice. Guided meditations are widely available through Insight Timer, meditation apps, or recordings by teachers like Sharon Salzberg, Jack Kornfield, and Tara Brach. Many meditation centers offer introductory workshops and metta-specific retreats. To begin, find a quiet, uplifting place where you can do your loving-kindness practice, setting aside 15-20 minutes to complete the meditation. Start by directing simple phrases toward yourself—“May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I live with ease”—and gradually expand the circle of recipients as the practice becomes familiar.
